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1
00:00:02.547 --> 00:00:04.180
BONNIE: What the hell is your problem?!
2
00:00:04.182 --> 00:00:06.490
ADAM: I'll tell you what my problem is!
3
00:00:06.510 --> 00:00:08.523
My problem is you're crazy!
4
00:00:08.548 --> 00:00:10.598
BONNIE: Call me crazy one more time!
5
00:00:10.623 --> 00:00:12.700
- Don't do it.
- ADAM: You're crazy!
6
00:00:12.950 --> 00:00:13.894
- (bumps, crashes)
- Told ya.
7
00:00:15.777 --> 00:00:17.881
BONNIE: I can't even look
at your face right now!
8
00:00:17.906 --> 00:00:19.112
Get out! Fine by me.
9
00:00:19.114 --> 00:00:20.396
BONNIE: Oh, that is so you,
10
00:00:20.398 --> 00:00:21.814
running away from a fight!
11
00:00:21.816 --> 00:00:23.968
You just told me to leave, psycho!
12
00:00:26.467 --> 00:00:28.930
Chicken wing?
13
00:00:28.919 --> 00:00:32.320
How you managed to climb out of that
swamp of madness I will never know,
14
00:00:32.345 --> 00:00:34.562
but you are a
straight-up American hero.
15
00:00:34.837 --> 00:00:36.390
I know.
16
00:00:37.524 --> 00:00:39.441
I, on the other hand, am a coward,
17
00:00:39.466 --> 00:00:41.422
so... best of luck.
18
00:00:43.922 --> 00:00:45.117
Oh, damn.
19
00:00:45.290 --> 00:00:47.132
I liked that one.
20
00:00:47.675 --> 00:00:49.258
(door opens)
21
00:00:49.260 --> 00:00:50.218
(sighs)
22
00:00:50.324 --> 00:00:53.780
Oh... you broke the remote?
23
00:00:53.437 --> 00:00:56.265
You couldn't throw the ugly
candy dish Marjorie gave us?
24
00:00:56.875 --> 00:00:58.267
Fine.
25
00:01:00.194 --> 00:01:01.443
That wasn't it.
26
00:01:04.807 --> 00:01:06.320
That's the one.
27
00:01:07.829 --> 00:01:09.779
Do you think I'm sexy?
28
00:01:10.780 --> 00:01:12.867
There's really no healthy
way to answer that question.
29
00:01:13.135 --> 00:01:14.768
Okay, fine, I'll put it another way.
30
00:01:14.793 --> 00:01:17.661
Would you need to get
high to go to bed with me?
31
00:01:17.686 --> 00:01:19.398
Way to make it creepier, Mom.
32
00:01:19.640 --> 00:01:23.690
It's Adam's last night here,
I wanted to do something special.
33
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I made him dinner, I
lit candles, I wore this.
34
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You know how he prepared?
35
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He snuck outside and smoked a joint.
36
00:01:29.457 --> 00:01:30.823
So? When you were getting high,
37
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you'd get loaded before you had sex.
38
00:01:32.657 --> 00:01:34.573
Exactly. So I could
tolerate whatever loser
39
00:01:34.598 --> 00:01:36.742
was crawling around on top of me.
40
00:01:37.559 --> 00:01:39.225
So you think with Adam...
41
00:01:39.227 --> 00:01:40.203
I'm the loser.
42
00:01:40.565 --> 00:01:42.640
Oh, Mom, that's not true.
43
00:01:42.890 --> 00:01:43.972
Then give me another explanation.
44
00:01:44.365 --> 00:01:45.382
(sighs)
45
00:01:45.671 --> 00:01:48.149
Wait, let's go back to the
losers crawling on top of you.
46
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Why would you...
47
00:01:49.200 --> 00:01:51.211
It was called the '80s,
Christy. Look it up.
48
00:01:58.984 --> 00:02:03.718
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
49
00:02:14.774 --> 00:02:16.164
Morning. Hey.
50
00:02:16.189 --> 00:02:17.476
Want some scrambled eggs?
51
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Sure.
52
00:02:18.930 --> 00:02:20.262
You're in a good mood.
53
00:02:20.264 --> 00:02:21.578
Did you work things out with Adam?
54
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I did not.
55
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Nor shall I.
56
00:02:24.936 --> 00:02:26.620
Cheddar?
57
00:02:26.950 --> 00:02:27.226
Sure.
58
00:02:28.422 --> 00:02:29.649
Ham?
59
00:02:29.691 --> 00:02:32.203
Yeah. You okay?
60
00:02:32.228 --> 00:02:34.734
I am. I expressed my anger last night,
61
00:02:34.759 --> 00:02:36.642
and I have now moved on.
62
00:02:36.961 --> 00:02:37.947
Really?
63
00:02:37.949 --> 00:02:39.367
You sound surprised.
64
00:02:39.587 --> 00:02:41.851
Well, traditionally when
you're upset with someone
65
00:02:41.876 --> 00:02:43.664
we get a visit from the cops.
66
00:02:45.289 --> 00:02:47.873
Well, maybe I've grown.
67
00:02:47.875 --> 00:02:49.625
Maybe sobriety has made me
68
00:02:49.627 --> 00:02:51.672
a kinder, gentler woman.
69
00:02:52.429 --> 00:02:53.796
Here you go.
70
00:02:53.798 --> 00:02:54.880
Thank you.
71
00:02:54.882 --> 00:02:56.476
(phone chimes)
72
00:02:57.330 --> 00:02:59.140
Damn it, Wendy, for the 40th time,
73
00:02:59.390 --> 00:03:02.722
I don't want to join your professional
network on Linkedln!
74
00:03:05.590 --> 00:03:07.260
Let me get you some O.J.
75
00:03:08.289 --> 00:03:11.218
- I think we're out.
- Son of a bitch!
76
00:03:11.783 --> 00:03:14.316
♪ ♪
77
00:03:14.318 --> 00:03:16.485
Hi, I'm Jill. I'm an alcoholic.
78
00:03:16.487 --> 00:03:17.828
OTHERS: Hi, Jill.
79
00:03:18.398 --> 00:03:21.323
So, I've been having
a rough couple of days.
80
00:03:21.609 --> 00:03:24.898
My ex-husband and his
fiancée just had their baby.
81
00:03:25.695 --> 00:03:27.747
They sent out announcements.
82
00:03:27.749 --> 00:03:29.617
Not to me of course.
83
00:03:30.802 --> 00:03:32.885
I just happened to
stumble over it on Facebook
84
00:03:32.887 --> 00:03:35.221
using my housekeeper's account.
85
00:03:37.480 --> 00:03:38.464
Her name's Penelope.
86
00:03:39.177 --> 00:03:40.914
The baby, not my housekeeper.
87
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She's really cute.
88
00:03:44.682 --> 00:03:47.860
Which just twists the knife.
89
00:03:47.735 --> 00:03:49.468
So, I guess it's official.
90
00:03:49.737 --> 00:03:51.406
He's not coming back.
91
00:03:52.247 --> 00:03:53.830
He's not, right?
92
00:03:57.612 --> 00:03:59.203
Yeah, I know.
93
00:04:00.994 --> 00:04:03.373
Anyway, I'm grateful to be sober.
94
00:04:03.398 --> 00:04:06.869
And, sorry Soledad wrote
that really mean comment
95
00:04:06.871 --> 00:04:09.390
about the baby's melon head. Thank you.
96
00:04:12.765 --> 00:04:14.726
Okay, who else would like to share?
97
00:04:15.463 --> 00:04:16.689
Mom?
98
00:04:17.172 --> 00:04:18.547
Yes, Christy?
99
00:04:18.549 --> 00:04:20.490
I thought maybe you'd like to share
100
00:04:20.510 --> 00:04:21.383
what's going on with you.
101
00:04:21.385 --> 00:04:22.945
No, I would not.
102
00:04:23.137 --> 00:04:24.553
If you don't, I'll tell Marjorie
103
00:04:24.555 --> 00:04:26.359
- about the candy dish.
- What?
104
00:04:26.557 --> 00:04:28.230
Bonnie, alcoholic.
105
00:04:28.726 --> 00:04:30.142
OTHERS: Hi, Bonnie.
106
00:04:30.144 --> 00:04:31.227
(sighs)
107
00:04:31.229 --> 00:04:33.395
Let's see, where should I start?
108
00:04:33.632 --> 00:04:36.650
Ah, here's a good place.
109
00:04:36.670 --> 00:04:38.351
Men suck.
110
00:04:38.903 --> 00:04:41.287
Not just some men, all men.
111
00:04:41.289 --> 00:04:42.655
Across the board.
112
00:04:43.257 --> 00:04:44.573
If there were a man here,
113
00:04:44.575 --> 00:04:46.792
I'd punch him smack-dab in the penis.
114
00:04:48.648 --> 00:04:50.412
Seriously, why do we need them?
115
00:04:50.414 --> 00:04:52.248
To kill a spider? Get a can of Raid.
116
00:04:52.250 --> 00:04:53.916
Want a baby? Turkey baster.
117
00:04:54.429 --> 00:04:56.252
So, that's it. Bug
spray and turkey basters.
118
00:04:56.254 --> 00:04:58.617
Probably in the same
aisle at the supermarket.
119
00:05:01.656 --> 00:05:03.809
You're feelin' me, right, dawgs?
120
00:05:05.281 --> 00:05:08.681
Born gay? More like born
smart. (clicks tongue)
121
00:05:10.935 --> 00:05:13.132
Anyway, thanks for letting me share.
122
00:05:15.990 --> 00:05:17.398
Okay, who'd like to go next?
123
00:05:17.608 --> 00:05:19.358
Hi, I'm Susie. I'm an alcoholic.
124
00:05:19.360 --> 00:05:20.406
ALL: Hi, Susie.
125
00:05:20.431 --> 00:05:22.982
And for the record, I'm not gay.
126
00:05:26.496 --> 00:05:27.804
Neither am I.
127
00:05:30.359 --> 00:05:32.870
Have you thought about it?
128
00:05:34.959 --> 00:05:37.960
♪ ♪
129
00:05:38.804 --> 00:05:42.470
I think you might be taking
this too personally, Bonnie.
130
00:05:42.490 --> 00:05:43.716
When I used to get high at concerts,
131
00:05:43.718 --> 00:05:45.578
it didn't mean I didn't like the band.
132
00:05:45.603 --> 00:05:48.353
But the drugs did get
you through the drum solo.
133
00:05:49.203 --> 00:05:51.640
Yeah, well, no one should
need artificial stimulants
134
00:05:51.642 --> 00:05:54.242
to get through the Bonnie Plunkett Trio.
135
00:05:55.530 --> 00:05:57.914
Don't forget your mouth. It's a quartet.
136
00:06:01.328 --> 00:06:03.680
Sure. Quartet.
137
00:06:03.700 --> 00:06:05.371
Of course if you really
like the guy, it's a quin...
138
00:06:05.373 --> 00:06:07.706
That's enough, Wendy.
139
00:06:07.708 --> 00:06:09.825
I got to tell you, Victor likes to have
140
00:06:09.827 --> 00:06:11.627
a little cognac before we do it.
141
00:06:11.629 --> 00:06:13.117
Well, that I understand.
142
00:06:14.215 --> 00:06:15.965
(laughs)
143
00:06:18.886 --> 00:06:21.156
What? She said it.
144
00:06:22.436 --> 00:06:25.311
Mom, Adam's not an
alcoholic or a drug addict,
145
00:06:25.336 --> 00:06:26.878
he's just a normal guy.
146
00:06:27.610 --> 00:06:29.895
And smoking a little pot before
sex is what normal people do.
147
00:06:29.897 --> 00:06:32.640
No. He gets high before
sex because I'm not enough.
148
00:06:32.850 --> 00:06:34.183
Could be you're too much.
149
00:06:34.185 --> 00:06:35.684
I had that problem with my ex.
150
00:06:35.686 --> 00:06:37.603
That's why he left me for a homely woman
151
00:06:37.605 --> 00:06:39.390
with a lopsided bosom.
152
00:06:40.343 --> 00:06:42.183
You don't think you getting loaded
153
00:06:42.208 --> 00:06:44.429
and trying to run his
mother over played a role?
154
00:06:45.696 --> 00:06:47.912
Well, there's no way to know now.
155
00:06:49.468 --> 00:06:51.450
You know, Bonnie, it's also possible
156
00:06:51.452 --> 00:06:54.382
that Adam's pot smoking
has nothing to do with you.
157
00:06:54.672 --> 00:06:55.921
Oh, Marjorie, only you
158
00:06:55.923 --> 00:06:58.123
would think that would
make me feel better.
159
00:06:58.125 --> 00:06:59.422
♪ ♪
160
00:06:59.447 --> 00:07:01.648
(knocking on door)
161
00:07:04.715 --> 00:07:08.350
Oh, hey, Adam. My mom's not here.
You just missed her.
162
00:07:08.352 --> 00:07:09.969
I know. I was sitting in the parking lot
163
00:07:09.971 --> 00:07:11.640
waiting for her to leave.
164
00:07:11.772 --> 00:07:13.272
Yeah. I do that sometimes.
165
00:07:13.578 --> 00:07:14.784
Come on in.
166
00:07:14.809 --> 00:07:18.444
Thanks. I just want to grab some
clothes and shoes that I left here.
167
00:07:18.446 --> 00:07:19.812
Sure, yeah, okay.
168
00:07:19.814 --> 00:07:21.647
Hey, I'm curious.
169
00:07:21.929 --> 00:07:24.733
How do you know when it's time
to buy a new pair of shoes?
170
00:07:25.328 --> 00:07:28.621
To be honest, shoes
for me are whimsical.
171
00:07:30.601 --> 00:07:32.491
So, I heard what happened.
172
00:07:32.493 --> 00:07:33.993
Of course you did.
173
00:07:33.995 --> 00:07:36.795
I assume it was headline
news at Club Estrogen.
174
00:07:37.328 --> 00:07:39.915
You have to understand, the
rest of us don't have lives,
175
00:07:39.917 --> 00:07:41.917
so yeah, it was a hot topic.
176
00:07:41.919 --> 00:07:43.140
Wonderful.
177
00:07:43.504 --> 00:07:46.234
For the record, almost
everyone was Team Adam.
178
00:07:46.945 --> 00:07:49.910
So, you agree, it's not me?
179
00:07:49.930 --> 00:07:50.676
Oh, it's totally not you.
180
00:07:50.678 --> 00:07:53.445
You're blameless, you've
done nothing wrong.
181
00:07:54.422 --> 00:07:56.265
So, how are you gonna apologize?
182
00:07:56.267 --> 00:07:57.733
For what?
183
00:07:57.735 --> 00:08:00.690
I was just getting a little buzz on.
184
00:08:00.710 --> 00:08:03.350
Well, yeah, but in her
tortured, forever damaged mind,
185
00:08:03.375 --> 00:08:05.274
that was you saying
she's not attractive.
186
00:08:05.276 --> 00:08:07.776
- But that's nuts.
- No one's arguing that.
187
00:08:07.778 --> 00:08:09.528
(sighs) Look, I'm not real comfortable
188
00:08:09.530 --> 00:08:11.468
talking to you about this, but...
189
00:08:11.582 --> 00:08:14.830
since it's on the
table, I have no problem
190
00:08:14.850 --> 00:08:16.148
having sex with your
mother without getting high.
191
00:08:16.253 --> 00:08:18.820
Great. Then tell her that
and this all goes away.
192
00:08:18.956 --> 00:08:20.622
Yeah, but then she starts thinking
193
00:08:20.624 --> 00:08:22.291
that she's calling the shots.
194
00:08:22.515 --> 00:08:24.126
Don't worry about what she thinks.
195
00:08:24.128 --> 00:08:26.875
That's a dark hole best not looked into.
196
00:08:27.804 --> 00:08:29.682
I'm sorry, I'm out.
197
00:08:30.620 --> 00:08:31.884
I'm tired of dating crazy women.
198
00:08:31.886 --> 00:08:34.603
From now on, I'm sticking
with nice and normal.
199
00:08:34.605 --> 00:08:36.188
All right. Just remember,
200
00:08:36.190 --> 00:08:37.690
nice and normal in the head,
201
00:08:37.692 --> 00:08:39.191
nice and normal in the bed.
202
00:08:39.193 --> 00:08:40.776
(groans)
203
00:08:41.862 --> 00:08:43.562
Whereas crazy in the head...
204
00:08:43.564 --> 00:08:45.481
ADAM: I got it! I got it.
205
00:08:45.483 --> 00:08:46.664
♪ ♪
206
00:08:46.794 --> 00:08:49.344
I'm so glad you called to apologize.
207
00:08:49.828 --> 00:08:53.720
(sighs) Hey. I looked at
myself in the mirror and said,
208
00:08:53.740 --> 00:08:56.351
"Buddy, you screwed up. Make it right."
209
00:08:57.700 --> 00:08:58.343
I missed you.
210
00:08:58.368 --> 00:09:00.618
And I missed you, too. (chuckles)
211
00:09:01.767 --> 00:09:03.433
Can I start you off with some drinks?
212
00:09:03.677 --> 00:09:05.394
Bring me your finest sparkling water,
213
00:09:05.419 --> 00:09:07.850
and jazz it up with a little lime.
214
00:09:07.221 --> 00:09:08.773
Make that two.
215
00:09:09.867 --> 00:09:12.578
- How come you're not drinking?
- Not in the mood.
216
00:09:12.603 --> 00:09:13.852
Okay, I know what you're doing
217
00:09:13.877 --> 00:09:15.293
and you don't have to.
218
00:09:15.318 --> 00:09:16.600
I know I don't have to.
219
00:09:16.625 --> 00:09:18.792
I just want show my
smoking hot girlfriend
220
00:09:18.817 --> 00:09:21.445
that I don't need
mind-altering chemicals
221
00:09:21.857 --> 00:09:24.406
to bang her sweet ass
into next Wednesday.
222
00:09:25.773 --> 00:09:27.984
Oh, swoon.
223
00:09:28.275 --> 00:09:30.159
Damn right, swoon.
224
00:09:34.615 --> 00:09:37.132
I don't know what to say.
225
00:09:38.487 --> 00:09:40.492
It usually works.
226
00:09:41.205 --> 00:09:43.711
Well, it's certainly not working now.
227
00:09:43.736 --> 00:09:45.819
All right, that tone is not helping.
228
00:09:45.886 --> 00:09:48.303
Yeah, well, I tried being nice to it.
229
00:09:51.549 --> 00:09:53.715
I hope you know that this
has nothing to do with you.
230
00:09:53.717 --> 00:09:56.510
Really? 'Cause I'm the
only other person here.
231
00:09:56.530 --> 00:09:58.220
No, it's just this whole
thing about me proving
232
00:09:58.222 --> 00:10:00.648
that I could do it sober
has just got me thinking.
233
00:10:00.808 --> 00:10:03.429
And thinking is clearly
the enemy of erections.
234
00:10:04.700 --> 00:10:05.727
Just stop talking.
235
00:10:05.945 --> 00:10:07.613
No, you're right, you're right.
236
00:10:07.615 --> 00:10:08.976
Let's just go to sleep.
237
00:10:11.160 --> 00:10:13.836
I've always been more
of a morning guy anyway.
238
00:10:17.291 --> 00:10:19.875
(birds chirping)
239
00:10:23.711 --> 00:10:25.578
It's still not you.
240
00:10:34.318 --> 00:10:35.742
Damn, damn, damn.
241
00:10:36.195 --> 00:10:38.417
Well, it's certainly not working now.
242
00:10:38.952 --> 00:10:40.292
Morning!
243
00:10:41.133 --> 00:10:43.216
How'd the apology go? Wink, wink.
244
00:10:43.218 --> 00:10:45.268
Yeah, see you later.
245
00:10:45.270 --> 00:10:47.107
You sure? I'm making pancakes.
246
00:10:47.132 --> 00:10:48.388
You probably worked up an appetite.
247
00:10:48.390 --> 00:10:49.639
Wink, wink.
248
00:10:49.641 --> 00:10:51.711
I'm good. How about some coffee?
249
00:10:51.736 --> 00:10:53.820
Sweet Lord, let me go.
250
00:10:54.257 --> 00:10:56.813
Okay, bye.
251
00:10:56.815 --> 00:10:58.648
- (door closes)
- Is he gone?
252
00:10:58.650 --> 00:11:00.400
Yeah. What happened?
253
00:11:00.402 --> 00:11:01.651
Nothing.
254
00:11:01.653 --> 00:11:03.487
Literally nothing.
255
00:11:03.999 --> 00:11:07.780
I have officially become
undesirable to men.
256
00:11:07.743 --> 00:11:09.326
I wonder how this works.
257
00:11:09.328 --> 00:11:10.660
Do I go to an animal shelter
258
00:11:10.662 --> 00:11:13.250
or do the cats just magically appear?
259
00:11:15.300 --> 00:11:17.929
That's more a Marjorie question.
260
00:11:19.221 --> 00:11:21.171
So without pot he couldn't...
261
00:11:21.173 --> 00:11:22.672
Couldn't in the Evenin',
couldn't in the mornin'...
262
00:11:22.674 --> 00:11:24.898
♪ Couldn't at suppertime. ♪
263
00:11:25.511 --> 00:11:26.426
Did you try...
264
00:11:26.428 --> 00:11:28.610
I tried everything!
265
00:11:28.630 --> 00:11:30.130
Baby talk, English accent,
266
00:11:30.150 --> 00:11:32.150
stuff I learned in jail.
267
00:11:33.241 --> 00:11:34.684
What's the English accent?
268
00:11:34.686 --> 00:11:37.270
It's a Mary Poppins
thing... never mind.
269
00:11:37.866 --> 00:11:39.773
Maybe Marjorie was right.
270
00:11:39.775 --> 00:11:42.257
Maybe it's not you, maybe it's him.
271
00:11:43.445 --> 00:11:45.112
Well, that's an interesting theory,
272
00:11:45.114 --> 00:11:46.780
but there's no way to test it.
273
00:11:47.296 --> 00:11:48.448
Really?
274
00:11:48.450 --> 00:11:51.234
You of all people can't
think of a way to test it?
275
00:11:57.420 --> 00:11:58.959
Hey. Thanks for meeting me.
276
00:11:58.961 --> 00:12:00.427
No problem. What's up?
277
00:12:00.733 --> 00:12:02.850
Interesting way of putting it.
278
00:12:03.204 --> 00:12:06.890
I've been thinking a lot
about when we were together.
279
00:12:06.185 --> 00:12:08.385
- Yeah?
- You ever think about it?
280
00:12:08.882 --> 00:12:11.271
Only every time I shower.
281
00:12:12.274 --> 00:12:14.615
Remember when you and
I were in this very car
282
00:12:14.640 --> 00:12:16.276
outside small claims court?
283
00:12:16.278 --> 00:12:18.728
Yeah. That was amazing.
284
00:12:18.730 --> 00:12:20.147
For me, too.
285
00:12:20.149 --> 00:12:22.566
Broad daylight, cops everywhere.
286
00:12:22.568 --> 00:12:24.898
I thought for sure we
were gonna get caught.
287
00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:26.820
I sat on top of you.
288
00:12:26.822 --> 00:12:27.812
Yeah.
289
00:12:28.970 --> 00:12:30.470
I wasn't wearing any underwear.
290
00:12:30.635 --> 00:12:32.530
(squeals)
291
00:12:34.757 --> 00:12:36.482
I unbuckled your belt,
292
00:12:36.507 --> 00:12:39.812
and slowly unzipped your zipper.
293
00:12:40.968 --> 00:12:42.803
Where we going with this?
294
00:12:42.805 --> 00:12:44.577
I'm getting a little turned on.
295
00:12:44.807 --> 00:12:46.460
Only a little?
296
00:12:46.710 --> 00:12:48.569
Well, uh, to be truthful,
297
00:12:48.594 --> 00:12:50.930
I'm almost done.
298
00:12:50.950 --> 00:12:52.479
(sighs)
299
00:12:52.481 --> 00:12:53.647
Then I'll leave you to it.
300
00:12:53.649 --> 00:12:56.773
- What?!
- Thanks, pal, you're a good egg.
301
00:13:00.355 --> 00:13:01.984
I hate her.
302
00:13:02.441 --> 00:13:05.525
♪ ♪
303
00:13:05.687 --> 00:13:07.110
What's with Steve?
304
00:13:07.112 --> 00:13:09.343
He's outside crying in his car.
305
00:13:10.460 --> 00:13:13.617
Steve had to be sacrificed for science.
306
00:13:13.619 --> 00:13:16.953
The good news is, I
still got it going on.
307
00:13:17.789 --> 00:13:19.789
- Oh, Mom, you didn't.
- Relax.
308
00:13:19.791 --> 00:13:22.125
I pumped up the tires,
I didn't ride the bike.
309
00:13:22.794 --> 00:13:24.461
Oh, Bonnie.
310
00:13:24.463 --> 00:13:25.795
Hey, if it bothers you that much,
311
00:13:25.797 --> 00:13:27.464
you go out there and take care of him.
312
00:13:29.801 --> 00:13:31.518
Wait, how does that help you with Adam?
313
00:13:31.520 --> 00:13:33.530
Well, now that I know
that I'm not the problem,
314
00:13:33.550 --> 00:13:35.218
he can smoke crack with
the Pope for all I care.
315
00:13:36.642 --> 00:13:39.445
I wish I had an impotent
boyfriend to go home to.
316
00:13:45.861 --> 00:13:47.437
Surprise!
317
00:13:49.304 --> 00:13:50.820
What's all this?
318
00:13:50.822 --> 00:13:53.206
California wine, California pot,
319
00:13:53.208 --> 00:13:55.796
California, here we come.
320
00:13:57.593 --> 00:13:59.880
Bonnie, you need to give it a rest.
321
00:13:59.882 --> 00:14:02.695
Yeah, we'll rest when
neither of us can walk.
322
00:14:04.109 --> 00:14:05.835
Sorry, not interested.
323
00:14:05.837 --> 00:14:07.530
What do you mean you're not interested?
324
00:14:07.550 --> 00:14:08.421
(in English accent): C'mon, Gov'nor,
325
00:14:08.423 --> 00:14:10.687
have a little nip and climb on board.
326
00:14:12.311 --> 00:14:15.421
Again, high or straight,
Mary Poppins never works.
327
00:14:16.848 --> 00:14:20.148
Okay, maybe you don't
understand, we're good now.
328
00:14:20.624 --> 00:14:24.688
Hey, you don't get to
decide when we're good.
329
00:14:24.690 --> 00:14:26.874
Sure I do, I'm the girl.
330
00:14:28.716 --> 00:14:30.296
Bonnie, I love you...
331
00:14:32.606 --> 00:14:34.657
... but I'm thinking that you and me,
332
00:14:34.831 --> 00:14:36.530
we need to take a break.
333
00:14:41.377 --> 00:14:42.569
What?
334
00:14:44.140 --> 00:14:45.562
I'm sorry, honey.
335
00:14:46.378 --> 00:14:49.230
This relationship, it's
just not working for me.
336
00:14:50.241 --> 00:14:52.980
I don't understand. Why?
337
00:14:52.100 --> 00:14:54.187
Well... isn't it obvious?
338
00:14:54.886 --> 00:14:56.553
You decide when we have a problem,
339
00:14:56.555 --> 00:14:57.887
you decide when we're okay.
340
00:14:57.889 --> 00:15:00.230
Uh, where do I figure in this thing?
341
00:15:00.250 --> 00:15:01.942
What are you talking
about? You're the guy.
342
00:15:01.944 --> 00:15:03.143
Am I?
343
00:15:05.109 --> 00:15:06.780
'Cause I sure don't feel like it.
344
00:15:06.782 --> 00:15:09.155
And I'm sure not
functioning like one either.
345
00:15:14.109 --> 00:15:15.392
Okay.
346
00:15:15.558 --> 00:15:17.524
Guess I should go.
347
00:15:18.443 --> 00:15:19.804
I guess so.
348
00:15:22.827 --> 00:15:24.497
I just...
349
00:15:24.499 --> 00:15:27.334
I want you to know you're the best thing
350
00:15:27.336 --> 00:15:29.252
that's come into my life in a long time,
351
00:15:29.254 --> 00:15:31.721
and... I'm really sorry I messed it up,
352
00:15:31.723 --> 00:15:33.710
but that seems to be what I do.
353
00:15:39.890 --> 00:15:40.241
Bye.
354
00:15:41.600 --> 00:15:43.160
Wait, hang on.
355
00:15:44.683 --> 00:15:46.733
No, it's okay, I'll be okay.
356
00:15:46.758 --> 00:15:49.374
No, I think I'm okay.
357
00:15:51.230 --> 00:15:52.442
What?
358
00:15:52.444 --> 00:15:55.523
Yeah, it's the da...
damnedest thing, but...
359
00:15:55.747 --> 00:15:58.164
when you cry like
that, it kind of, uh...
360
00:15:58.189 --> 00:16:00.139
flipped the old switch.
361
00:16:03.872 --> 00:16:04.827
Really?
362
00:16:04.852 --> 00:16:07.290
Me... falling apart turns you on?
363
00:16:07.292 --> 00:16:10.390
No, I just think you being vulnerable...
364
00:16:11.960 --> 00:16:12.295
Look, you want to analyze this,
365
00:16:12.297 --> 00:16:14.240
or you want to put it to good use?
366
00:16:14.866 --> 00:16:16.490
Let's go.
367
00:16:16.510 --> 00:16:17.300
Wouldn't hurt if you kept crying.
368
00:16:17.302 --> 00:16:19.219
(crying loudly): Okay!
369
00:16:29.304 --> 00:16:32.443
The first time I had sex
sober I was so nervous,
370
00:16:32.468 --> 00:16:35.484
I had to call my
sponsor before and after.
371
00:16:36.475 --> 00:16:38.342
I called mine during.
372
00:16:39.621 --> 00:16:40.976
I remember.
373
00:16:42.672 --> 00:16:44.922
For me, it was the first
time I really paid attention
374
00:16:44.924 --> 00:16:46.841
to what men look like down there.
375
00:16:47.656 --> 00:16:50.156
I couldn't help wondering,
"What was God thinking?"
376
00:16:51.226 --> 00:16:54.913
Maybe he was high and figured
he'd fix it in the morning.
377
00:16:55.431 --> 00:16:56.597
Well, he didn't.
378
00:16:56.622 --> 00:16:57.955
He just slapped those hairy Ba-dinkers
379
00:16:57.980 --> 00:16:59.710
under it and called it a day.
380
00:17:01.774 --> 00:17:05.260
I was so self-conscious
about the sounds I was making.
381
00:17:05.280 --> 00:17:07.610
Was I moaning too much, too little,
382
00:17:07.630 --> 00:17:08.702
should I be calling out the guy's name?
383
00:17:08.727 --> 00:17:10.273
Oh, that's the other thing.
384
00:17:10.298 --> 00:17:12.882
When you're sober, you
actually know his name.
385
00:17:14.111 --> 00:17:16.111
And not all names are good.
386
00:17:16.239 --> 00:17:19.538
I mean, nobody wants to scream
out, "Do me harder, Gene."
387
00:17:21.440 --> 00:17:22.326
(door opens)
388
00:17:22.984 --> 00:17:24.320
Hey.
389
00:17:24.345 --> 00:17:25.511
OTHERS: Hey.
390
00:17:25.536 --> 00:17:26.919
How're you guys all doing?
391
00:17:29.252 --> 00:17:32.234
(all crying)
392
00:17:40.680 --> 00:17:42.597
Son of a bitch!
393
00:17:47.890 --> 00:17:50.484
I can't get mad at you, I
would've done the same thing.
394
00:17:50.749 --> 00:17:52.426
Adam, wait!
395
00:17:52.451 --> 00:17:54.300
Wait!
396
00:17:54.610 --> 00:17:58.171
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
27529
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