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Katie asked me to marry her. Oh, congratulations!
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Try that on. Stop fussing! You're not my dad!
3
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I didn't want him seeing it in this state!
4
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I've seen better episodes of Grand Designs.
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I was thinking about Ralph's wedding.
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Would you like to come?
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Er, well, er... Yeah, that'd be lovely. Great.
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What am I to Ralph, when all's said and done?
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You're just going to have to grin and bear this, Maurice,
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because this is Ralph's wedding!
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♪ Street's like a jungle
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♪ So call the police
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♪ Following the herd
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♪ Down to Greece
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♪ On holiday
16
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♪ Love in the '90s
17
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♪ Is paranoid
18
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♪ On sunny beaches
19
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♪ Take your chances
20
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♪ Looking for girls who are boys
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♪ Who like boys to be girls
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♪ Who do boys like they're girls
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♪ Who do girls like they're boys... ♪
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OK. ♪ Always should be someone... ♪
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Now.
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You all right, Joe?
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Now I walk. Really?
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OK.
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Hello, Maurice.
30
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Wee or walk?
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Walk.
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♪ Girls who are boys Who like boys to be girls
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♪ Who do boys like they're girls Who do girls like they're boys
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♪ Always should be someone you really love... ♪
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CAR HONKS
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All right, all right! Oy! Oy!
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You're not in Spain!
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♪ Girls who are boys Who like boys to be girls
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♪ Who do boys like they're girls Who do girls like they're boys... ♪
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Have you any idea who that pick-up truck belongs to parked outside?
41
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Yes, I have, as it goes.
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He nearly killed me,
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Paul and Joe. Sounding his horn like Bertie Big Bollocks.
44
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I bet he's from Lancaster, flash so-and-so.
45
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He's from Kirkby Lonsdale. Not Lancaster. What?
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We've got a visitor.
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This is Doug.
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He's Ralph's Dad.
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Sorry about the car horn, mucker.
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Builder's manners, I'm afraid, and I was worried you hadn't heard me.
51
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When was all this arranged?
52
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It wasn't. I was a bag of nerves, to be honest -
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coming here, after all this time.
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I never expected I would, and then I got your letter...
55
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I wrote to Doug to tell him that Ralph was getting married
56
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because I thought he had a right to know.
57
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It wasn't an invitation to just drop in.
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Well, as I'm here, I'd like to see Ralph,
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to congratulate him and maybe meet his fiancee.
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And then I'll bugger off.
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He's not marrying into money, if that's why you came.
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Louise...
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I'd like him to know I care about him.
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If you cared about him, you would have rung first!
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Ralph doesn't know you're coming? Exactly! So you toddle off, Doug,
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and we'll arrange this properly.
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Well, I'm here now, aren't I?
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You can't just...
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He's not seen you for ten years!
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This is the day before his wedding, for God's sake!
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Hi, Mum. Hiya!
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Hello, son.
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Argh!
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That's... That's a handshake and a half!
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What you thinking about United, eh?
76
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Or don't we want to go there? And you must be Katie.
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Pleased to meet you.
78
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Are you happy now? The lad's in shock.
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I'm sorry, Ralph, I had no idea he was going to show up like this.
80
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Bit of a surprise, eh? OK, right, that's enough, Doug.
81
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I only wanted to say hello to the lad.
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I said that's enough! Not like this.
83
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No, it's not going to happen like this.
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You go away.
85
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I will talk to Ralph.
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And if he wants to see you, I will call you.
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Is that all right with you, Ralph?
88
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I could come back at lunchtime.
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I'll bring sandwiches! I'll call you either way.
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I'll see you later, I hope, son.
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DOOR SHUTS
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I promise you, I had no idea.
93
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I'm sorry. OK.
94
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And whatever you want to do, I will back you.
95
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If you want to see him now, or after the wedding,
96
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then that's fine with me.
97
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Or...he doesn't need to come back at all.
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It's entirely up to you.
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He's here now.
100
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OK.
101
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He's not exactly what I expected.
102
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Which was what?
103
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Well, in my head, he was always an ageing sociology teacher with
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a pot belly and erectile dysfunction.
105
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What is he like? He's about your height.
106
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But he looks like he's looked after himself -
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might even be on nodding terms with a bench press.
108
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It's nice to see that you're capable of the sensitive response
109
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this complex situation requires, Grandad.
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Sensitive response?
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More like two silverbacks throwing shit at each other.
112
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Ralph's made it very clear that I'm not his dad.
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He's already dropped me for the Cup Final,
114
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and now I might end up getting a free transfer.
115
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You all right, Champion?
116
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You moving out?
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I'm ready. PHONE CHIMES
118
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I've told you already, mate.
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I can't take you today.
120
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I know.
121
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I'm ready.
122
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I've got the food to sort out for the wedding tomorrow,
123
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got Ralph's drinks later, Rebecca's doing up the village hall.
124
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I know.
125
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I'll take you some other time, OK?
126
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Farm park.
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Ah.
128
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Sorry, Joe. I've got to be somewhere.
129
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You're going to have to come with me to The Fellside, Joe.
130
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You can be a waiter if you like -
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that way you still get to feed some animals!
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SHE LAUGHS
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What animals?
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Never mind.
135
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♪ She doesn't know why she's feeling sad
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♪ She'll never get what she's never had
137
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♪ She wants to leave home But she can't get away
138
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♪ Always on her own every single day Cos she's a... ♪
139
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Hey, listen, I've got some good news.
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You know your mate, Bill?
141
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He's coming to the wedding.
142
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Hey?
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And Ramesh.
144
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Yeah, yeah. Yeah, if you like.
145
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Yeah, Bill and Ramesh, always together.
146
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So, cos, you know, Bill's coming,
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his mum's going to come, too - Sarah.
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You like Bill's mum, Sarah, don't you? She's nice, isn't she?
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She's kind and...and funny... HE CHUCKLES
150
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Er... Big eyes.
151
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Yeah.
152
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Has she? Yeah, I suppose she does have big eyes.
153
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Yeah.
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Great. Good.
155
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OK...
156
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To business.
157
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What do you do for a living, Katie?
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I work at a bakery.
159
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Oh, not just a pretty face
160
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that attracted you, then, Ralph? Free doughnuts for life.
161
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Sorry I'm late.
162
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What do you do?
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I'm a builder.
164
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What do you build?
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Well, I just built my own house.
166
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Well, it's nothing, really.
167
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It... It's, er... It's only Lego for grown-ups.
168
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I know that makes me sound like a bit of a big head, but, erm...
169
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Well, you know what it's like, Ralph,
170
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you know, building something from scratch.
171
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Like you and your brewery in the, er, in the shed there.
172
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Well, you know, not quite from scratch.
173
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I give him a lift with the equipment.
174
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But, er, he's done well.
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Right.
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I wouldn't mind a tour after this, if you fancy.
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Goats, cows, chickens.
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Goats,
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cows,
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chickens.
181
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Goats, cows...
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Joe. ..chickens. Joe...
183
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Right, erm, the cake plates, they're still in the dishwasher.
184
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The dinner plates are by the door.
185
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Tom, wine can go now if you can.
186
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Er, Joe? Joe, Joe, you can leave that now. ..cows...
187
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Hey?
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..chickens.
189
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It's not the farm park still?
190
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He'll get over it. Erm...
191
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Right.
192
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Sarah! Hey! It's, erm, Sarah!
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Hi, there.
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I know you're busy.
195
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But, erm, I was just passing by and I thought I'd ask about dress
196
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code, er, for Ralph's wedding.
197
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Yeah, well, it says come as you are, on the invite.
198
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I don't know what that is.
199
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I can take him.
200
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Huh?
201
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I can take Joe to the farm park when I'm finished here.
202
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Joe wants to go to the farm park.
203
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That's, er, very kind of you,
204
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but you can't be taking Joe out in your free time.
205
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I don't mind.
206
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I love the farm park.
207
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Well, that's... That's... That's a lovely offer.
208
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Thank you.
209
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Let me... Let me think about it.
210
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What a nice young man.
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What? You should let him take him.
212
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Shouldn't he, Sarah? Oh, well...
213
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No, no, no, no, I mean, he's... I like Mark,
214
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but trusting Joe with Mark...
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Joe will be Mark's age one day.
216
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And? And when Joe's Mark's age,
217
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wouldn't you want someone to trust him?
218
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I think Rebecca has a point. Really?
219
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Great!
220
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Now we've all confirmed our liberal credentials, can
221
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we get back to sprinkling some stardust on the village hall?
222
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Text us some photos of the animals if you do go, Mark.
223
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Goat, cow...
224
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You didn't mean all that, did you, about Rebecca having a point?
225
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I mean, would you let Mark take Bill on a day out?
226
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Well, maybe not a year ago.
227
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But, erm, well,
228
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let's just say I'm getting a bit more relaxed these days.
229
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Mark seems very responsible,
230
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and all turtles need to cross the beach to the sea one day.
231
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Wow! This is something!
232
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Don't touch anything.
233
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No. No. Course, yeah.
234
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Well...
235
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..thank you for letting me see this.
236
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It's all right.
237
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Look, I-I, er, I might not get another chance to say this, so...
238
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..I'm sorry.
239
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What for?
240
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You know, like...
241
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I-I'm sorry it didn't work out between me and your mum.
242
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I mean, these things happen,
243
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but I should never have left you to handle it on your lonesome.
244
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I thought it'd be easier if I left, but...
245
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..I should have stayed in touch.
246
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Yeah. You should.
247
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WHISPERS: Go on. Ask him!
248
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Joe...
249
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You know how you really want to go to the farm park?
250
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Goats. Cows. Chickens. Exactly.
251
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Well, Mark, over there...
252
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..has got a free afternoon,
253
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and he said that he'd really like to take you.
254
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And if that's OK with you...
255
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..then that's OK with me.
256
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That's OK with me.
257
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Oh, great.
258
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That's great, then. That's settled.
259
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Hey...
260
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Great.
261
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A good decision, well made.
262
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Just chill, as Bill would say after a day with his dad's new partner.
263
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SHE LAUGHS
264
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Yeah, no, you're right.
265
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:37,040
Sorry, I wasn't much help with the dress code. What?
266
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,200
You came to see me about the dress code.
267
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,200
Hmm. So that was just an alibi.
268
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:48,520
I wanted to give you a chance to un-invite me.
269
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,400
Why would I do that?
270
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,760
So you definitely want me to come?
271
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,520
Mark, why don't you and Joe make a list of all the things
272
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,000
you're going to do at the farm park?
273
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,160
Like an itinerary? Yep, just like that.
274
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,320
Erm...
275
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,760
If you'd like to come, then, yes, I would like that very much.
276
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:21,200
Right. I-I promise I won't get drunk and disgrace myself.
277
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:22,520
Really?
278
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,400
WHISPERS: I'd be disappointed if you don't.
279
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,440
Right.
280
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,400
Well, till tomorrow!
281
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,560
That's an awkward wave.
282
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:35,720
And exit.
283
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:43,240
Can we... Can we just forget that that bit ever happened? Yep.
284
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,000
Thank you.
285
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,000
Thanks for that.
286
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,440
It went all right, I think.
287
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,000
Do you think?
288
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,600
It was fine. Yes. Look, I don't want to be pushy, but I could
289
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:58,760
stick around if you like,
290
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,040
even come to the wedding, if Ralph wanted me there.
291
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:04,360
This is the most important week of his life.
292
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,800
Don't you think you've put him through enough?
293
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:09,920
No more surprise appearances.
294
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000
OK.
295
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,480
Fair enough.
296
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,760
You know...you're probably right.
297
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,400
Nice to meet you, Maurice. And you.
298
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,720
I will not let him break that lad's heart a second time.
299
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,240
Well, I don't exactly want him hanging around either, but...
300
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,000
Good. Then, we're in agreement.
301
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,480
He's been. He's done his bit. Mea culpa.
302
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,040
Let's keep it that way.
303
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,240
Right, I'm off to get the hall ready and you've got
304
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,760
a stag do to attend.
305
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,520
Right. Drinks are on the house, lads.
306
00:15:55,520 --> 00:16:00,600
Lager, bitter, IPA, prosecco, a cheeky little Scotch if you like.
307
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,240
Lager, please. Right. And what about you, Josh?
308
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,840
He'll have the same.
309
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,160
Right. Two lagers. OK.
310
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,040
Halves.
311
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:12,480
Very sensible. Don't want to go mad early on.
312
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,240
Bar snack menu, we have got
313
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,920
nachos, Thai fishcakes,
314
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,560
veggie kebab, beer-battered calamari.
315
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:19,680
Mwah.
316
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:22,000
Nachos. Nachos for Ralph.
317
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,000
What about the best man?
318
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,880
The same.
319
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,840
Right. Two lagers, two nachos coming up.
320
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,160
How's it going?
321
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,960
Any quieter, they'd be on the vegan menu.
322
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,280
I have the plan.
323
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,200
And the destination.
324
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,920
And the bus timetable. Great.
325
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:52,000
Now, remember, safety-first hats on.
326
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,680
We don't have hats.
327
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,360
Metaphorical...safety-first hats.
328
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,160
You just have to trust me, Paul.
329
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,720
No, I do trust you. Which bus are you getting?
330
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,840
If you trust me, you wouldn't ask that.
331
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,720
No, I just...just really like buses.
332
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:09,640
Hm. I like hearing about good bus routes and stops, times,
333
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:12,600
departures, that kind of thing. You aren't interested in buses.
334
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,440
What if you lose your money? I have emergency money.
335
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,560
What if you get on the wrong bus? I won't get on the wrong bus if I lose
336
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,760
my money, because I won't be able to pay for the bus.
337
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,760
So if I lose my money, we will walk home.
338
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,520
OK. OK. OK. I just... I know. I know.
339
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,640
I know.
340
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:34,880
Have a great time.
341
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,040
Go. Go. Go.
342
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,360
Go on, before you...miss the bus.
343
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,800
We won't miss the bus.
344
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,200
Wait! Wait!
345
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,960
Packed lunches. See?
346
00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,320
You forgot them.
347
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,920
I didn't.
348
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,880
You forgot to give them to us.
349
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,600
Joe.
350
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:13,160
Mark, my number's in your phone.
351
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,800
Who's the brains of the operation? Winnie-the-Pooh or Piglet?
352
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,320
Oh, that were quick.
353
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,440
Oh.
354
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,480
Maurice. Doug.
355
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,840
I WAS invited, in case you were wondering.
356
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,120
Ralph messaged me. Didn't you, Ralph? Yeah.
357
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:07,240
Right.
358
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,800
Goats first, then pigs.
359
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,360
Crisps.
360
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:17,920
Donkeys.
361
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,440
Ice lolly.
362
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:25,920
Goats.
363
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,720
Crisps. Pigs.
364
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,240
Ice lolly.
365
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:33,960
Donkeys. Drink.
366
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:36,880
Chickens.
367
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,360
How's your best-man speech coming on, then, Josh?
368
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,840
He wants you to read it out.
369
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,120
Me? Really?
370
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:04,840
Thanks.
371
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,160
I'll do a good job.
372
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,800
Josh doesn't say much.
373
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,680
Oh, right, I see.
374
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,440
Strong and silent.
375
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,600
Do you remember when you went through that non-talking phase?
376
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:20,680
No.
377
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,160
He hadn't talked for three weeks, Maurice,
378
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,680
and his mum said on a Friday, if he didn't start talking again,
379
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,480
she'd take him back to the speech therapist
380
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,240
first thing Monday morning.
381
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,440
Why weren't you talking? He held out till Sunday night
382
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,880
and then he started again. I mean, proper full sentences...
383
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:37,640
You didn't. I did.
384
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,760
He only wanted Cup Final tickets
385
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,880
and he thought if he held out I'd get them him.
386
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,920
His mum was having none of it, though.
387
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,680
She won that one, didn't she, Ralph? Power played you, son.
388
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,080
She did. Still got to the Cup Final though, didn't we, eh?
389
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,200
3-0, Millwall.
390
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,680
Ronaldo and van Nistelrooy.
391
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,000
O-ho! Happy Days.
392
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,240
Happy days!
393
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,000
Have you heard anything?
394
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,840
No.
395
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,640
Well, that's good, innit? It means they're having a good time.
396
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,080
Yeah.
397
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,280
Yeah, that'll be it.
398
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,360
CHANTING: Boom, boom, boom! Let me hear you say Keano!
399
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:09,640
Keano!
400
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,680
THEY LAUGH
401
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,640
What?
402
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:20,200
Nothing, I'm just hoping for a photo from Mark at the Farm Park.
403
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,440
Right.
404
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,120
Cos a snap of Mark's thumb and half a pig is really important
405
00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:27,120
compared with turning this place into a theatre of love.
406
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:28,200
Flowers.
407
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,240
Delivered, arranging in the morning.
408
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,600
Crockery. Present and correct.
409
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,080
What's that say? Trousers? What?
410
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:36,680
Trousers? Trousers!
411
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,080
What time is it?
412
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:39,920
Oh, can you hold the fort?
413
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,760
Ralph's trousers are being altered. I forgot.
414
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,640
I need to get there before they close.
415
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,120
Get me good side, Josh.
416
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:01,880
Very nice. Ah, great.
417
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,920
You can send me a copy if you like, mate.
418
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,480
Um, sorry to interrupt your stag do, Ralph,
419
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,280
but, um, I need to pick up your suit trousers
420
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,760
and I need you with me to try them on. What, right now?
421
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,120
Yes! The shop closes in half an hour.
422
00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:15,240
I'm sorry.
423
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,960
You don't have to come if you don't want to, Josh.
424
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,800
Fair enough.
425
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,360
See you.
426
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:26,640
Yeah, see you, son.
427
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:29,920
All the best for tomorrow.
428
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,000
Have a great day, yeah?
429
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,840
And um, see you soon...
430
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:45,000
Fancy a coffee?
431
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:47,880
Yeah, why not?
432
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,840
Paul! When you've finished checking your phone,
433
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,400
can we have two coffees here, please?
434
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,920
Richard! Two coffees, table six, just nipping out.
435
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,760
Sorry I put you in the doghouse with Louise.
436
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,920
You didn't. She's just protective of Ralph,
437
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:19,120
and I can't say I blame her.
438
00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:21,200
You seem all right for a builder,
439
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,640
she's just frightened you'll disappear again. Like last time.
440
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:24,800
Like last time?
441
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,000
That's what she told you happened, is it?
442
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,320
She's always said that, in the end,
443
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,720
you couldn't cope with Ralph having Down's syndrome
444
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:34,240
once he became a teenager.
445
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,320
Why? Are you saying something different?
446
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:37,480
No.
447
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:38,720
No, that's sort of true.
448
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:41,880
But I... I think I just... I...
449
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,800
..couldn't really cope with being cut out.
450
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,800
I was... I was disappointed that my lad was how he was.
451
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,080
I won't deny that. Frustrated.
452
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,120
And Louise saw that in me and that became all she ever saw.
453
00:23:58,160 --> 00:23:59,400
She clung to Ralph...
454
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,600
..and suddenly I was on the outside. I mean, you... You must know
455
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,440
what she's like when she circles
456
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,320
the emotional wagons.
457
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:08,840
The tighter she and Ralph got,
458
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,920
the more I resented being on the outside,
459
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,680
which made her close down even more.
460
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,720
I mean, it didn't give me anywhere else to go, mate.
461
00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:19,600
But you did go.
462
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,280
You went and you never looked back.
463
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:25,920
I just felt like
464
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:29,200
once me and Louise had decided I should leave,
465
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,880
it...it would only confuse Ralph if I kept turning up.
466
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,680
You know, give him hope that we were going to get back together.
467
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:40,160
I promise you, I thought it made it easier for him - and Louise.
468
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,600
I realise now it just made it easier for me.
469
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:45,440
And I want to put that right.
470
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,600
I really do.
471
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,240
Hiya, Mark. It's Paul.
472
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:54,400
Another message, I know.
473
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,640
Um, just give me a call as soon as you get this, OK?
474
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:58,680
OK.
475
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,160
Hi, Rebecca, um...
476
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,120
Yeah, just let me know as soon you hear anything.
477
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,440
Yeah, I know, I know. I know you will. All right. OK, bye-bye.
478
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,600
Sarah?
479
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,560
Ah, Paul, hi.
480
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,840
Um, have you heard from them?
481
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,520
Um, no.
482
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:25,920
What are you doing here?
483
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,680
Well, I just wanted to check they got here safely.
484
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,240
What about you?
485
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,240
The same.
486
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,000
What happened to the spirit of freedom
487
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,640
and turtles on the beach?
488
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,800
I was just saying that to stop you worrying.
489
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,280
Most turtles get eaten by gulls.
490
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:42,800
Great. Hopefully that's not going to happen.
491
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,080
No, um...
492
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:46,360
They're obviously lost.
493
00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:49,000
The woman at the entrance said that they haven't been in.
494
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,640
I know, I asked her. Do you trust her?
495
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,880
Cos I... I was speaking to her for a good ten minutes and I swear she wasn't listening.
496
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,120
Well, she's hardly likely to forget Mark and Joe, is she?
497
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,960
PHONE VIBRATES
498
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,280
Can you wait here, see if they turn up?
499
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,080
I'm going to re-trace their route. Of course, of course.
500
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,960
What was I thinking, telling you to relax?
501
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:17,600
I was just trying to impress you,
502
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,960
come over all laid back and adventurous
503
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,200
like Davina McCall or something...
504
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:23,280
Huh?
505
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:26,000
I overdid the Rescue Remedy before I came to see you.
506
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,320
I shouldn't really be driving, if the truth be told.
507
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,120
I'm so sorry.
508
00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:32,920
I will stay here and will keep watch.
509
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,600
I'm sure it'll be fine, but thank you!
510
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,520
Oh! I have binoculars in the car.
511
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,240
Great stuff. And a flare.
512
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,560
Let me try and phone first, yeah?
513
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,440
Ha! Good idea.
514
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,480
PHONE VIBRATES
515
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,040
I used to like circle bread.
516
00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:52,560
Circle bread?
517
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,240
Circle bread was what I called it,
518
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,000
when I didn't know bagel.
519
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,000
But that was in the past,
520
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,040
not the future.
521
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,800
Pizza is a circle.
522
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,720
It is.
523
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:08,880
But not circle bread.
524
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,160
Do you know any songs?
525
00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:17,600
Yes.
526
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,880
Definitely.
527
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:21,920
Several.
528
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:28,640
DOOR CLOSES
529
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:30,280
Hiya. Is Ralph in?
530
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,680
He's in the shed if you want to talk to him.
531
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:34,760
No. It'll wait.
532
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,080
Just Doug wanted to wish him all the best for tomorrow.
533
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,280
Did he?
534
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:41,840
Good.
535
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:43,520
Hopefully he won't be back.
536
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,240
I think he will be back.
537
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,360
I think he means it about
538
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:56,560
wanting to be involved in Ralph's life again.
539
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,400
And you discussed this over your calamari, did you?
540
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,120
You've fallen for him - hook, line and sinker. No, I'm just saying...
541
00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:05,080
He doesn't get to just pick and choose
542
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:06,640
when he's involved with Ralph!
543
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:10,160
Well, he didn't exactly get to pick and choose last time, did he?
544
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:11,720
What?
545
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,240
What's that supposed to mean? Nothing.
546
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,520
What's he told you?
547
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,360
His side, that's all. His side?
548
00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:22,640
And what's that? He just told me why he left,
549
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,480
and it doesn't excuse what he did,
550
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,440
but he wanted to explain how he felt at the time.
551
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,800
And how many pints had he bought you at this stage?
552
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,200
Outside of things, he said something about wagons.
553
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,640
I can't remember. It sounded better when he said it.
554
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:35,800
Wagons?
555
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,240
The gist of it was that you and Ralph were tight.
556
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,160
I'm just telling you his side.
557
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,720
He doesn't get to have a side.
558
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:43,880
Clearly not.
559
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:47,080
The last time I looked, you were upset
560
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,520
because Ralph had reminded you you're not his dad.
561
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,200
Now you're cosying up to the dad
562
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,360
who walked out on him!
563
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,480
I'm just telling you what he said, that's all.
564
00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:58,200
He's played you.
565
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:00,120
That's what he does.
566
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:01,480
And you fell for it.
567
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,960
Doug's gone. You've got what you wanted.
568
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:05,800
I'm just not sure it's what Ralph wanted.
569
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:20,680
What did you go for?
570
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,440
Four Bitter and four IPA.
571
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,720
What about a box of novelty stout just for the dads?
572
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:28,360
Help yourself.
573
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:36,920
I don't know what you heard from the house,
574
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,040
just a bit of a misunderstanding.
575
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,000
About Doug?
576
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,240
About Doug, yeah.
577
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,480
I liked him. I'm sorry.
578
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:47,880
I liked him too, mate.
579
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:50,320
And he's your dad.
580
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:51,680
Yeah, I know that.
581
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:14,960
MARK: I can't swim.
582
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:17,920
Can you swim?
583
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:18,960
I don't know.
584
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,000
But I'm strong.
585
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:25,520
I have to be in life.
586
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:28,200
You are a giant.
587
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,760
In the army - that I didn't get into,
588
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,720
although it is in the past and forgotten about -
589
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:39,200
you have to carry weights
590
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,720
and walk for yards and yards and yards.
591
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:44,040
And yards and yards.
592
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,320
It was to see if you were strong enough to get in the army.
593
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,800
Did we have crisps?
594
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:53,640
But when you don't get in, it's called a setback
595
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,000
and your mum tells you to bounce back.
596
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,880
And then you get over it and it's in the past
597
00:30:57,880 --> 00:30:59,640
and not the present or the future and...
598
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,160
Paul?
599
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:05,200
Yeah?
600
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:06,840
I know you're there.
601
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,120
I don't think it's appropriate to be in the hall.
602
00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:10,320
It's not good manners.
603
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:11,480
Sorry.
604
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,640
You just both seemed to be getting on so well.
605
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,040
How were the animals? We didn't see the animals.
606
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,160
The buses stopped us. The buses?
607
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:22,200
When the first bus came, it wasn't the bus that the timetable said.
608
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,800
Oh, it was the wrong bus? The bus number was the same
609
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,240
but it came at the time that it didn't say on the timetable,
610
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,280
so we didn't get on it.
611
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:31,160
Right.
612
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,400
We didn't mean to eat our sandwiches, did we?
613
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:37,640
That's Joe's way of saying we ate our sandwiches.
614
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:40,000
So the next bus didn't come?
615
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,120
No, because it had come before.
616
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:47,320
So it was the right bus? Yes.
617
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,080
For somebody it was the right bus.
618
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,360
I tell you what, lads, I'm going to leave you to it.
619
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:55,880
We'll be outside if you need us.
620
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:58,960
We'll be inside if you need us.
621
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,680
At what stage did you think you were going to go and check up on them?
622
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:10,240
The moment they left.
623
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,840
First lesson of parenting -
624
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,440
give your kids the freedom they need
625
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:18,800
and worry yourself to death.
626
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,440
Is that what it's like? Ah, all the time.
627
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,480
Are you ready for that?
628
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,160
I'm hoping for a bit of joy.
629
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,440
You always talk about the worry, you never talk much about the joy.
630
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,000
Don't I?
631
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:33,160
Well, I should.
632
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:35,880
And I'll start. Sorry.
633
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:38,200
There is joy.
634
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:41,280
First 11 years, in your case.
635
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,800
I know it's not ideal, but...
636
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:47,760
..I didn't come from an ideal family, did I?
637
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:50,840
We managed, didn't we?
638
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,240
Yeah. We did.
639
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,240
And Grandad said he's happy having a baby around
640
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,320
so at least I'll have a roof over my head. Maurice?
641
00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:59,560
Why? Are you planning to carry on living here?
642
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:00,920
To begin with, yeah.
643
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,120
There'll be more room when you and Joe move out.
644
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,120
And my dad said he'll lend me a deposit for a flat.
645
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,040
Is that what you want?
646
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:11,680
Don't have much choice.
647
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,040
HE SIGHS HEAVILY
648
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,440
ALARM BUZZES
649
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:57,480
♪ Have you noticed, I've never been impressed
650
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:01,560
♪ By your friends from New York and London?
651
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:05,320
♪ I'll level accusations like the press
652
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,320
♪ Till you realise that you... ♪
653
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,520
♪ Because the man's needs
654
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:31,920
♪ Man's needs are full of greed Are full of greed... ♪
655
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:35,880
When you hand out the flowers, it's one for each man, yeah?
656
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,640
And Ramesh'll be on the other side doing the same thing.
657
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,040
Look at this for a family of bobby-dazzlers.
658
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:42,560
Ah, new suit?
659
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,840
Yeah, it was overdue.
660
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,040
Anyone'd think you were making an effort for someone.
661
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,360
I am! For my wonderful family.
662
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,000
Actually, could you take Joe?
663
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,040
I'll be along in a bit. There's something I need to do.
664
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,120
Are you going to tell me what? Hm, no.
665
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,360
Can you do that? Is this about Sarah?
666
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,000
HE SCOFFS
667
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,120
No. Why would it be about Sarah?
668
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:08,560
Go on.
669
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:11,240
Go on!
670
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:16,520
Ralph!
671
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,680
I'm home, but we need to get a move on.
672
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:20,480
Maurice, are you suited and booted?
673
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:43,520
What are you doing here?
674
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,880
I just asked around for the flash bastard who built his own house.
675
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,720
Not many self-builds in Kirkby Lonsdale.
676
00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:51,280
No, I mean...
677
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,040
..what are you doing here?
678
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,200
No, I... I'm not sure about this any more.
679
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,920
I can't see how it's going to play out.
680
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:08,760
You deserve to be there, and you said you wanted to come.
681
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,320
And Ralph wants you there. But Louise doesn't!
682
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:14,200
You turn up with me, she'll have our bollocks hanging off the wedding cake!
683
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,520
Listen, where you went wrong with Louise is in not realising
684
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,720
that sometimes you just have to get through those defences and not give up.
685
00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:21,800
She didn't want me involved when she had chemo,
686
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,120
but I battered my way through there and just stayed.
687
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,760
She was grateful in the end. Chemo?
688
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,600
When was she having chemo?
689
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:31,080
You didn't know she'd had cancer? Did nobody tell you?
690
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,680
HE GROANS
691
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:35,960
Are his trousers all right?
692
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,480
I said an inch and a half and I'm sure they've taken two.
693
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:40,040
Mum, it's fine.
694
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,160
They're a perfect fit, Louise.
695
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,360
He looks very handsome indeed.
696
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,720
They both do. They do.
697
00:36:46,720 --> 00:36:48,000
They do.
698
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,640
So you can relax and start to enjoy yourself.
699
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:55,080
I could, if I had a clue where Captain Chaos was.
700
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:01,000
If you could not let on that you know about Louise's cancer
701
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,320
at the wedding, or any time in the near future, ever,
702
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,720
that'd be great. I'll be the soul of discretion.
703
00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:08,360
Great, thanks.
704
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:09,560
It wasn't my place.
705
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:14,040
Nice suit.
706
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,200
Italian, tailor-made.
707
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,480
Of course it fucking is. What?
708
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,360
We're going to be late.
709
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:23,120
Then she really will have our clackerbags for decorations.
710
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,720
Could you go and find Joe and hand these out?
711
00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:28,560
I'll tell the guests to be careful with the pins.
712
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,800
We don't want any casualties. Good thinking.
713
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,920
I'm so glad to be here, Louise.
714
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:39,040
It seems like only yesterday that Ralph was the school lollipop man.
715
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:40,680
Yes, it does.
716
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:42,240
Oh, thank you.
717
00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:43,680
Thank you. Come on.
718
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,400
Louise, we're really going to have to make a start soon.
719
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,320
I know. I know, but he says he's really close. All right.
720
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:55,760
Come on, Maurice.
721
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:10,760
WHISPERS: Hello. Hello.
722
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,560
Why are we whispering? I don't know.
723
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:26,920
All right?
724
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:33,960
You scrub up well.
725
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,440
I thought I'd crack open the Body Shop gift set
726
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,160
Bill got me for Mother's Day.
727
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:41,160
Imperial Leather. Ooh!
728
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,040
You all right?
729
00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:20,600
We're just going to have to do it, OK?
730
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:21,720
You ready?
731
00:39:21,720 --> 00:39:23,080
DOOR BANGS
732
00:39:26,240 --> 00:39:27,560
Sorry, everybody. Sorry.
733
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:30,080
Sorry.
734
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:00,520
Ready?
735
00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:12,000
♪ This thing called love
736
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,200
♪ I just can't handle it
737
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:18,400
♪ This thing called love
738
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,880
♪ I must get round to it
739
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:23,080
♪ I ain't ready
740
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,120
♪ Crazy little thing called love
741
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,680
♪ This thing This thing
742
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:31,880
♪ Called love Called love
743
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:32,920
♪ It cries
744
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,040
♪ Like a baby in a cradle all night
745
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:36,640
♪ It swings Ooh-ooh
746
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:38,640
♪ It jives Ooh-ooh
747
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,400
♪ It shakes all over like a jellyfish
748
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:42,960
♪ I kind of like it
749
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,040
♪ Crazy little thing called love
750
00:40:48,760 --> 00:41:00,840
♪ Glory, glory Man United
751
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:04,720
♪ And the Reds go marching on, on, on! ♪
752
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:14,840
Are you, Ralph Wilson, free lawfully to marry Katie Jane Thorne?
753
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,560
I am.
754
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:18,480
So far, so good.
755
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:23,560
Are you, Katie Jane Thorne, free lawfully to marry Ralph Wilson?
756
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:24,960
I am.
757
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:27,720
Ralph and Katie, if you could face each other now.
758
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:35,360
And repeat after me, Ralph - I, Ralph Wilson.
759
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,280
I, Ralph Wilson.
760
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:41,000
Take you, Katie Jane Thorne. Take you, Katie Jane Thorne.
761
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,400
To be my wedded wife.
762
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:49,080
Now you, Katie, repeat after me - I, Katie Jane Thorne.
763
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:50,840
I, Katie Jane Thorne.
764
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:54,720
Take you, Ralph Wilson.
765
00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:58,200
To be my wedded husband.
766
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:02,080
Now, Ralph, you place the ring on Katie's finger.
767
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:15,280
LAUGHTER
768
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:27,520
And say out loud the promises you are making to her.
769
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:31,240
I promise to help you with everything.
770
00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:33,160
I promise to love you
771
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:36,280
when it's good and when it's bad.
772
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:39,080
I promise to be kind,
773
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:42,480
and I promise to stay with you for the rest of my life.
774
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:43,920
Well done, Ralph.
775
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:45,800
Now you, Katie.
776
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:47,560
Place the ring on Ralph's finger.
777
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:50,920
That's it.
778
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:55,480
And say out loud the promises you are making to him.
779
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:57,840
I promise to have fun with you,
780
00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:59,680
to laugh at your jokes,
781
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:01,040
if you laugh at mine.
782
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:02,600
LAUGHTER
783
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:06,800
To cheer you up if you are sad.
784
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,560
I promise to help you
785
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,680
and let you help me, too.
786
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:16,200
I promise to be ready with a hug at all times.
787
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:21,960
I promise to love you and be your best friend forever.
788
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:27,640
Katie and Ralph, it is a pleasure and a delight
789
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:32,600
to tell you that you are both husband and wife!
790
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:34,400
You may kiss the bride.
791
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,440
CHEERING
792
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:50,040
MUSIC: To Love Somebody by Bee Gees
793
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:15,120
I just wanted to say thank you for bringing Doug.
794
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,080
You were right - for once.
795
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:19,240
Right. Thanks.
796
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:24,240
That was me letting you off the hook, Maurice -
797
00:44:24,240 --> 00:44:25,960
you could at least look happy about it!
798
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:27,120
Oh, I am. Yeah.
799
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:32,840
Are you all right?
800
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,120
SHE TAPS GLASS
801
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:40,240
Silence, everyone, for the best man's speech!
802
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:49,800
What are you doing?
803
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:53,160
Er, Josh wants me to read his speech out for him.
804
00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:00,040
I have known Ralph since we met on the first day of school.
805
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:03,120
I had issues in those days and punched him in the face at playtime.
806
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,760
LAUGHTER
807
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:07,160
But things have got better since then.
808
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:09,640
And they got better because Ralph looks out for me
809
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:10,760
and I look out for him.
810
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:14,320
Ralph has many good points and skills.
811
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:17,880
He is a good dancer but also thinks he is a good footballer,
812
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:20,080
and today is the day to tell him he is not.
813
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,040
LAUGHTER I have been lying all this time.
814
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:28,720
But one thing Ralph is is the best mate anyone can have.
815
00:45:28,720 --> 00:45:31,520
And the best son any mum could want.
816
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:35,880
And he will be the best husband, too.
817
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:38,280
Can we all raise a glass to Ralph and Katie?
818
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:44,520
ALL: Ralph and Katie!
819
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:55,440
Well done, son, that was great.
820
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:58,400
Thanks.
821
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:06,880
Ladies and gentleman, please clear the dance floor
822
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:10,320
as the lovely bride and lovely groom have the first dance!
823
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:13,160
WHOOPING
824
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,800
♪ We'll be singing
825
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:18,240
♪ When we're winning
826
00:46:18,240 --> 00:46:20,280
♪ We'll be singing
827
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:24,240
♪ I get knocked down But I get up again
828
00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:26,040
♪ You're never gonna keep me down
829
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:28,840
♪ I get knocked down But I get up again
830
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:30,680
♪ You're never gonna keep me down
831
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:33,440
♪ I get knocked down But I get up again
832
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,400
♪ You're never gonna keep me down
833
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,920
♪ I get knocked down But I get up again
834
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:40,280
♪ You're never gonna keep me down
835
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:49,560
♪ Pissing the night away
836
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:52,160
♪ He drinks a whisky drink He drinks a vodka drink
837
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:54,360
♪ He drinks a lager drink He drinks a cider drink
838
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,480
♪ He sings the songs that remind him of the good times
839
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:59,280
♪ He sings the songs that remind him of the better times
840
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:02,640
♪ Oh, Danny boy
841
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:07,080
♪ Danny boy, Danny boy... ♪
842
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:09,120
Are you coming, you two? Give us a minute.
843
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:12,040
♪ But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down
844
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:15,160
♪ I get knocked down But I get up again
845
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,120
♪ You're never gonna keep me down
846
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:19,480
♪ I get knocked down But I get up again
847
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:21,440
♪ You're never gonna keep me down
848
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:24,240
♪ I get knocked down But I get up again
849
00:47:24,240 --> 00:47:26,320
♪ You're never gonna keep me down... ♪
850
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:27,920
Thanks for not chucking me out.
851
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,760
Maurice persuaded me to come.
852
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:34,240
I think he was right and I was wrong.
853
00:47:34,240 --> 00:47:36,240
I'm glad you're here.
854
00:47:36,240 --> 00:47:38,680
Virtually kidnapped me, if I'm honest.
855
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:40,240
He's a hard man to say no to.
856
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:47,000
He told me you'd had cancer.
857
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:51,080
Well, I'm dropping him in it, telling you...
858
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,480
..but if you'd have told me when you found out...
859
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:57,760
..I could have helped.
860
00:47:57,760 --> 00:47:59,520
That's exactly why I didn't tell you,
861
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:02,360
cos I didn't want you sweeping in and taking over Ralph.
862
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:04,960
How could I have done that? The lad adores you!
863
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,880
Chemo does funny things to your head.
864
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:14,000
I fell for that lumbering fool under the influence, for starters.
865
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:17,720
I've seen pantomime horses move better.
866
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:23,200
MUSIC: Can't Get You Out Of My Head by Kylie Minogue
867
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:27,120
♪ Boy, your loving is all I think about
868
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:30,600
♪ I just can't get you out of my head
869
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:35,400
♪ Boy, it's more than I dare to think about
870
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:37,880
♪ La, la, la... ♪
871
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:41,400
Do you dance, Paul? It has been known.
872
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:46,280
♪ I just can't get you out of my head
873
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:51,280
♪ Boy, your loving is all I think about... ♪
874
00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:53,000
Oh, no, Bill, wait!
875
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:57,920
♪ Boy, it's more than I dare to think about... ♪
876
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:04,160
MUSIC: Karma Chameleon by Culture Club
877
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:07,000
♪ You come and go
878
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:10,640
♪ You come and go... ♪
879
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:13,320
Is Maurice going to die soon?
880
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:19,600
He's come close a couple of times today, but not soon, no,
881
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:22,000
as long as he behaves himself.
882
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,520
Maurice will help you when I move out.
883
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:28,560
Yes. Yes, he will.
884
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:33,320
But he isn't me. No. He's not you.
885
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:35,160
I'll still help you now I'm married.
886
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,840
I should bloody well think so!
887
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:52,720
MUSIC: Tragedy by Steps
888
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:55,200
♪ Tragedy
889
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,000
♪ When the feeling's gone and you can't go on
890
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:58,560
♪ It's tragedy
891
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:01,240
♪ When the morning cries and you don't know why
892
00:50:01,240 --> 00:50:03,120
♪ It's hard to bear... ♪
893
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:05,880
I was tempted to leave you here on the dance floor,
894
00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:07,760
dying on your arse for an hour.
895
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:08,960
I like a dance!
896
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:10,520
No, you don't.
897
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:13,000
You dance like you've got too much change in your pockets.
898
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:16,480
♪ When the morning cries and you don't know why
899
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:17,680
♪ It's hard to bear... ♪
900
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:19,360
I might have told Doug about your cancer.
901
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:20,800
I know. He told me.
902
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:23,520
I'm sorry. I thought... You're a liability, Maurice!
903
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:28,680
But it's OK.
904
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:30,120
You're MY liability.
905
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:37,320
Look at you, doing a Take That!
906
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:39,160
Which one - Gary or Howard?
907
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,520
Mm, all of them.
908
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:43,560
♪ You put your left foot in
909
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,560
♪ Your left foot out... ♪
910
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:48,600
Shall we get out of here before the conga starts?
911
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:52,160
♪ You do the hokey cokey and you turn around
912
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:53,800
♪ That's what it's all... ♪
913
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:01,200
I didn't have you down as such a smooth operator, Paul.
914
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:03,760
Well, I think you're the only person in the world
915
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:05,800
who could say I was a smooth operator.
916
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:07,440
I'm glad you didn't uninvite me.
917
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:09,720
I'm glad you came.
918
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,480
I do feel I have a connection to Ralph anyway because I was...
919
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:21,200
I was very supportive when he first became the school lollipop man.
920
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:22,400
I know, I'm glad.
921
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:25,720
Though there was a lot of resistance to the idea - unspoken.
922
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:35,080
How did you know there was resistance if it were unspoken?
923
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:36,680
Oh, playground mafia.
924
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:38,960
Ah!
925
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:41,880
Looks, smiles, frowns, narrow eyes and whispers.
926
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:45,600
Oh, do that bit again - the narrow eyes and whispers bit.
927
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:50,040
I can't do impersonations to order, Paul.
928
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:53,120
I lost all feeling down one side at Christmas due to charades.
929
00:52:01,240 --> 00:52:04,600
I think I may have ruined the moment. No, you haven't.
930
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:13,320
Mrs Bill's mum! Mr Joe's dad!
931
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:14,680
Bill needs his inhaler.
932
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:16,840
If he's been experimenting with the helium balloons,
933
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:18,120
you need to tell me now, Ramesh!
934
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:20,080
No. I think it's mainly panic.
935
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:22,800
He started hyperventilating during the Hokey Cokey.
936
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:36,240
He seems fine now, Ramesh!
937
00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:38,400
I told him to breathe into a paper bag.
938
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:40,000
It seems to have done the trick.
939
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:44,960
I should never have left him on his own.
940
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:46,640
Behaving like a giddy teenager!
941
00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:48,920
♪ I really love your tiger feet... ♪
942
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:50,560
These things happen.
943
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:53,080
Thanks for inviting me, Paul.
944
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:55,400
It's always nice to escape yourself for a bit.
945
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:58,520
♪ Your tiger feet... ♪
946
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:00,600
Is that you talking or the Rescue Remedy?
947
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:32,520
♪ That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat
948
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:35,240
♪ I really love your tiger feet... ♪
949
00:53:35,240 --> 00:53:37,360
You OK? You bearing up?
950
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:38,760
Yeah.
951
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:42,200
What is it?
952
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:44,840
Those two.
953
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:48,720
I was just wondering what it was like
954
00:53:48,720 --> 00:53:50,480
to be so certain about your future.
955
00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:58,880
Come on.
956
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:00,640
There's something you should see.
957
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:03,200
Come on.
958
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:05,240
♪ That's right, that's right, that's right, that's right
959
00:54:05,240 --> 00:54:07,880
♪ I really love your tiger light
960
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:10,280
♪ That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat
961
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,840
♪ I really love your tiger feet... ♪
962
00:54:15,240 --> 00:54:16,920
Are we allowed to do this?
963
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:19,120
What, go into our own house? Er, yeah.
964
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:20,680
I think the law is on our side.
965
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:22,680
No, I mean, sneak out of a wedding.
966
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:26,920
I thought we were coming to see Joe's room.
967
00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:28,680
Oh, well...
968
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:30,480
Thanks, mate.
969
00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:33,800
Me and Joe thought we were coming to look at your room.
970
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:36,600
My room? Yeah, if you want it.
971
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:41,720
I was thinking - room for a bed there,
972
00:54:41,720 --> 00:54:44,240
cot, wardrobe maybe.
973
00:54:44,240 --> 00:54:46,160
When did you decide this?
974
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:48,080
It were always going to be yours.
975
00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:49,400
I wanted to surprise you,
976
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:51,640
but then you started talking about having to stay living
977
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,680
at Maurice's and I thought,
978
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:56,480
"Oh, maybe I'd better finish it, put you out of your misery."
979
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:01,280
There's always going to be a place for you here if you want it.
980
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:02,640
I assumed you'd know that.
981
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:06,520
You don't have to take it.
982
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:07,800
But it'll always be here.
983
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:12,640
Is it OK with you if me and the new friend live here?
984
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:15,840
That's OK with me.
985
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:20,840
That's OK with me.
986
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:24,040
Thanks, Dad! Hey!
987
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:30,920
Thanks, Joe! Come here.
988
00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:50,200
LOW CONVERSATION
989
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:58,080
This is the best champagne I've ever tasted.
990
00:55:58,080 --> 00:55:59,560
I know.
991
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:03,400
It's got a malty depth, but it never forgets that its citrus
992
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:06,600
undertones are what makes it stand out from the IPA crowd...
993
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:08,000
Shut up, Maurice.
994
00:56:09,720 --> 00:56:11,280
Sorry.
995
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:13,680
I'm a bit overexcited.
996
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:15,440
But it's my wedding day.
997
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:17,480
Mm, I know.
998
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,120
Thank you for saying Josh's speech.
999
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:23,920
Pleasure.
1000
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:25,560
And for today.
1001
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:26,600
Well, you know.
1002
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:29,240
And Doug - thank you for bringing him.
1003
00:56:30,240 --> 00:56:31,880
He's your dad. He should be here.
1004
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:40,120
You're not my dad.
1005
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:43,560
I know that, son.
1006
00:56:43,560 --> 00:56:45,040
I know.
1007
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:48,520
You're better.
1008
00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:59,400
I don't think I'll tell anybody else that you said that.
1009
00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:00,800
No, you won't.
1010
00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:13,920
Everything's under control. I know it's a big day for you.
1011
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:16,320
Probably the biggest of your life since you actually had Ralph.
1012
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:18,160
I'm moving in with Louise. Right.
1013
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:20,760
This arrangement - it's not working out, is it?
1014
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:23,840
Maybe I need to feel that there's something more.
1015
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:25,240
We're OK, aren't we?
1016
00:57:25,240 --> 00:57:27,000
I don't think we are.
1017
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:28,960
I'm not sure if Sarah's a friend, or...
1018
00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:31,880
..something more. Joe's friend...
1019
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:34,080
..is what Joe and I call the baby I'm having.
1020
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:37,760
I think the baby's coming, OK? Do you understand?
1021
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:41,840
The friend? Yeah, the friend. The friend's coming.
1022
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:51,840
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