All language subtitles for The.A.Word.S02E05.ORGANiC.en.hi

We said he would go mainstream,
local.

And how's that working out?

We're doing all this to
get your Mark back into mainstream.

Because that's what Mark wants.

I want you to come through this
because you're you.

And I want you to be there for me.

We've always needed other people.
You saw that before I did.

I know. I just... I feel like
I'm losing my boy.

She's worried about you.
Should she be?

Just for a moment, I felt more at
home with Sophie than I do with you.

I did the right thing, Alison.
I told you the truth!

And as for your feelings, I'm going
to have to have to guess, am I?

Why do you always have to pick
away at everything like that?

I just wish...

You just wish what? We could leave
things alone for a bit.

That's what we'll do.

This programme contains some
strong language

MUSIC PLAYS

# Gonna break out of the city

# Leave the people here behind

# Searching for adventure

# It's the type of life to find

# Tired of doing day jobs

# With no thanks for what I do

# I'm sure I must be someone

# Now I'm going to find out who

# Why don't you ask them

# What they expect from you?

# Why don't you tell them

# What you are gonna do?

# You get so lonely

# Maybe it's better that way

# It ain't you only

# You got something to say

# Do anything you wanna do

# Do anything you wanna do

# Don't need no politicians

# To tell me things I shouldn't be

# Neither no opticians

# Tell me what I oughta see

# No-one tells you nothin'

# Even when you know they know

# But they tell you why you
should do

♪ They don't like to see you grow. ♪

All right. What have I missed?

Just the ads and trailers?

Dad, shush, shush.

"Haweli Curry House. Just two
minutes from this cinema." Ah!

Can you start it again, Nicola?

You want to get a dog
or take up running.

What? Walking on your own.

Nobody does that,
unless they're up to no good.

What?!

DOOR OPENS

I thought he was round here
watching Postman Pat with Emily.

I had no idea you had him skivvying.

He just likes doing it.
It's quite a contained behaviour.

I think it has to do with order
and predictability.

When did you film this?

Oh, just one of the times
he was round here.

Well, he's a grafter,
I'll give him that.

Joe? Joe, look!

Look at the pictures,

look, all these people are putting
different pictures on.

Do you like playing with Emily?

I like playing with Emily.

What are your favourite games?

Don't Dictate.

What are your favourite games that
you like to play with Emily?

Don't Dictate.

I'm sorry, Joe. I don't know.

Penetration. 1978.

# Don't dictate, don't dictate

♪ Don't dictate, dictate to me. ♪

Emily is good.

CHILDREN'S TV PROGRAMME PLAYS

It's no Lethal Weapon,
but it does the trick.

What's, er... What's it for, again?

I'm presenting to a small
group of doctors, health visitors

and practice nurses.

I want to give them
some idea of the spectrum

in Joe-type autism.

"Joe-type autism"!
He's a syndrome now, is he?

Most people think of autism
as one of two extremes,

either a non-speaking child
in distress or Rain Man.

And Joe's a great example of...

Yeah, great example(!)

..of autism that can get missed,
because Joe's autism is hidden.

Well, there's nothing much hidden
on what we've just watched.

I think you and me would've been
helped if our GP had seen
something like this, don't you?

I've written down what I was going
to say, as well, but I wanted you
both to read it first. Thanks.

The bits of Joe, they're going to...
they're going to stay the same,
will they?

That's the stuff you're going
to use?

Well, most of it, yes.
That was the plan.

It captures the lad. There's no
doubt about that. Yeah, yeah,
it captures him all right.

You don't think it does? It does
what you need it to do, Nicola.

That is clearly what is important.

I'd better get off, actually.
Louise has got her...

Well, it's a bathroom sink...

It nails him to his autism.
You do see that, don't you?

It just shows Joe as he is.

What, as you see him,

or as you want him
to be seen by your colleagues?

Yes, to help them understand more
about all patients with autism.

You knew I was doing
this presentation!

No, no, no. No, no.

Not like this, I didn't!

Probably a U bend, actually.
Hair and soap, I should think.

If there's anything you want me
to take out, anything
that upsets you...

All of it, Nicola!
How about all of it?

Paul!

I'm going to be late picking him up.

Hang on a second!

Hey, hey,
Nicola's just trying to help.

I think her presentation will help.

I don't get why you're
being like this.

She's turned our little
boy into a freak show.

No, she hasn't!
I would never let anybody do that.

Look, we can talk more about it
tonight, yeah?

I'll have to pack
all of his stuff up at Eddie's.

I'll probably stay over.

Oh, right. OK.

Dad, I passed! My driving test!

I passed!
Good for you, love. Good for you.

What's up with Dad?

Well done.

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO

So do you think it's all right?

About Joe?

The footage?

Yeah, it's good. Yeah.

So, do you think it's
all right for Nicola to show it?

Dad was a bit upset by it.

Yeah, but if, you know, if it
helps...

Yeah. You're right.
I'll sort it with Paul.

Let's just concentrate on you,
instead.

My brilliant girl. Passed first
time. Just like your mum!

Don't think this means we're
buying you a car, though.

Not till after uni, anyway.

I wasn't thinking that, no.

Well, you'll have enough expense
with accommodation and fees and...

Mum, I'm not going to university.

What?

I changed my mind. It's a waste of
money and I can do drama here.

I'm already helping out with
the end of term show.

I could get a job, earn some money.

I'm not going to university.

Well, Nicola's been trouble
since day one,

always picking away at stuff, but
that's doctors for you, I suppose.

Your waste pipe was clogged solid.
If someone had

shown me a film of Eddie at that
age, I'd have put him in a sack

and drowned him in the canal.

Get in, you bastard!

I've put, er, a new washer on it
just to be on the safe side.

You get that baby double threaded
and you'll never get it off.

I've had an idea...

What I'm thinking is, now you've
broke the back of your treatment...

Well, what I'm thinking is...

..this.

What do you think?

Be sure to send me a postcard.

Once you're done with all this
malarkey. Take your pick.

Luxury villa.

Hotel with award-winning
breakfast bar.

I-I mean Ralph as well.

Or even the four of us if you want
to bring your girlfriend,

hey, Ralph?

There are water parks nearby!
Who can resist a water park?

No planning ahead, Maurice,
no jinxing it.

Right.

Louise? Do you want to come through?

Bloody hell, she's hard to please
sometimes, your mum, isn't she?

Yeah. Good job you and me
are here to cheer her up.

We make a good team, you and me,
don't we?

Yeah. For now.

Yeah. For now.
What do you mean, for now?

You won't be here
when she's better.

Why? Do you know something I don't?

Mum won't be ill.
She won't need you any more.

Has she said something? Your mum?

Is that what she's said?

I'll put yours there, shall I?

Thanks.

Bit close to the edge, that one.

Are you all right?

Me? Yeah, fine, fine, yeah.

Well, can you just stop
jiggling around, then?

All right, superstar!

You made it.

End of term.

But not the end of me.

Oh, I hope not.

Oops.

Right, shall we...? Come on, then.

That's it.

Well, it won't exactly
be my recreational drug of choice.

The new chemo drug, you know?

At least it doesn't give me
that prickling feeling like FEC.

Just you I'm allergic to, now.

Bye, Maurice.

Not coming in?

No. I've, er,
got to get back to the Brewery.

There's stuff going on there.

And, er, you'll want to
get your feet up, won't you?

Yeah, yeah.

I'll give you a call tonight,
let you know how I'm getting on.

All right, Uncle Eddie!

Hiya, Joe.

Half an hour till tea-time, Joe.

You don't mind
if we stay over tonight, do you?

It'll take for ever to pack up
his stuff.

Cheers, mate!

I, uh, hear you're not
happy about Nicola's film.

Ah, she called you, did she?

Did you know she was filming Joe
when he went round?

You know what Nicola's like
when she puts her mind to something.

She filmed me on a kid's bike.

Her intentions are good, you know.

If you're going to talk shite,
Eddie, make yourself useful.

If Nicola can help people get a bit
more understanding,

then doesn't that help everybody,
including Joe?

Well, that's easy for you to say.
Emily looks great in it.

So that's what this is all about?
The comparison?

Cos that's just in your head, mate.

It's not something me
or Nicola would ever do!

Wouldn't you?

I do.

And Alison does, all the time.

I don't have a kid like Joe,
but I've still got a kid,

and I know it's different for you,
but every parent wonders

if their child's going to turn
out all right.

Every parent sees something in their
child that they worry about.

You've not got a monopoly
on sleepless nights.

Can we change the subject?

I'm hoping that Holly and I might
have sex for the first time tonight.

What? You did ask me
to change the subject.

You didn't have to change
it that much.

I am not going to let you

throw away the chance
of a lifetime.

It doesn't feel like the chance
of a lifetime to me!

It feels like something I was going
to do because everybody else
was doing it.

You, lady, are going to university.

You're too smart not to go to
university.

Too smart not to get into 50 grand
worth of debt, more like.

We can help with the money.
It's still worth it.

I don't want to go. And I didn't
tell you because I knew you'd be
like this.

Look, I missed out on university
because I had you,

and I will always regret it.

Thanks. No, I didn't mean it
like that.

I mean, look, all the reading.
And the time for yourself.

Just to grow up a bit,
figure out who you are.

And the choices it gives you.
And the people you'll meet.

Mum, please, go to university.

You are clearly
so in love with the idea.

I am in love with the idea for you.

Do you even have a plan for what
you'll do instead?

I'll work here. Full-time.

And end up like me and Sophie?
No, I don't think so.

Rebecca, I know you,
this is not what you want!

How are you getting on?

Good, yeah.

It says, "All About Me."

All about me.

Cos that's what
they want to know. All about you.

What you'd like. For yourself.

So just write that.

Fine, I take it back. You're not
smart enough to go to uni.
Fine. So give me a job.

No! Seriously. I won't.
I won't help you waste your life.

I'm going to Tom's.

Your shift hasn't even started!

SHE SIGHS

What did I do wrong?

You took her seriously.

I have to. It is serious.

She was engaged five minutes ago.
Is she engaged now?

Oh!

Sorry.

Nicola just sent me
a little film of Emily before bed.

It's fine. You don't have to
apologise for being a doting father.

No, I know. It's just...

You know.

There, it's off.

You didn't have to choose curry,
you know.

You could've just said you didn't
want sex tonight.

Sorry?

Curry. It's not...you know.

It's very bloating.

I see.

So you're implying
I chose curry to give me

an excuse not to make love for the
first time in our relationship?

Yeah. It was a joke.
Not a very good one.

Because you think it's me
that doesn't want to make love?

So...

I suppose.

I find this stuff
very difficult to say.

It took me four years to leave
the Scouts and I hated it

since the first game
of British Bulldog.

Is that what you're finding hard
to say, that you hated Scouts?

I've wanted to sleep with
you for months.

And you always seem to be able
to find a reason why you can't.

So now I'm thinking it's maybe that
you don't want to, at least not...

not with me.

And that's fine.

Disappointing, but fine.

I don't want to sleep with you?

Really?

That's a very interesting analysis.

Well, it's not as if the opportunity
hasn't arisen, is it? No, it isn't.

But you've managed to come up with
an excuse not to have sex with me
at every turn.

Me? You wanted to take things slow.

Well, that's right.
I didn't want to pressurise you.

Then you thought I wanted to take
things slow. You were tired,
you thought I looked tired,

you had a lecture to finish,
to deliver, to recover from,

you had to go back to the Lakes,
you had to work in the morning.

I think you're being a bit
one-sided. You had a cold
and you didn't want me to catch it.

There was even that time I pretended
I accidentally locked us in my flat

and you started looking up
emergency locksmiths on your phone.

Yep, yep. I get the picture.

Excuse me, mate. Can we get
the bill, please?

You had Joe staying
and felt bad about leaving him

and Alison on their own.

Thank you, sir. No. Erm, I'll need
to take a nought off that.

I was distracted. ..a weekend away
because there were roadworks
on the M62.

You hadn't changed your sheets and
your tumble drier was on the blink.

And my all-time favourite -
your neighbour had his brother

staying and you could hear them
on the Xbox and it put you off.

So, now we've cleared the air,
shall we go back to yours?

We're not in a relationship any
more. It wouldn't be appropriate.
Not in a relationship? Since when?

Think of it as a mercy killing,
Eddie. No...

I didn't realise how nervous I was
about committing to something new.

I appreciate you feel obliged to go
through the ritual of begging me

not to do this,
but I'd rather you didn't.

You aren't here
half the time, Eddie,

and the truth is, when you are here,
you aren't really here, either.

Well, I'd say no hard feelings
but you might just accuse me

of coming up with another excuse.

Hiya, Nicola?

I was just wondering
if Emily's still up?

I wanted to say goodnight to her.
Is that OK?

Not disturbed you, have I?

No. Not much.

Just been for a walk, yeah.

Rebecca? Rebecca?

'Hey, it's Alison, leave a message.'

It's me. I've been thinking.

I don't want Nicola showing that
film of Joe. Just don't.

All right?

I just don't.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Robots can already imitate
emotional states.

At what stage will we say they are
expressing their own emotions?

In fact, I know plenty of people
who could learn a thing

or two about expressing emotions
from robots.

Maybe those people are robots, too.

Who knows?

As you set off on your summer break,
you may want to bear in mind

that some robots are warmer
than some people.

But you're all young
and may not know that yet.

But one day you will.

One day you will.

Side effects? Yeah.

From chemotherapy? Yeah.

But you're not having chemotherapy,
are you?

No. But I was just wondering.

Can it sometimes... Can someone's
judgment get out of whack?

Is that a side effect?

Probably not expressed like that,
but it can be, for sure.

So if someone...

"Someone?" Someone close, perhaps?

If you like. I don't know.
Being hypothetical.

Of course you are.

If someone said something like,
hurtful, you know, depressing -

could that be, like, not them,
just the chemo drugs talking?

Maurice, if you want me to prescribe
you an anti-depressant, I will.

You don't have to talk or
open up about it. Just ask.

If you want something more holistic,
I hear there's

a herbalist in Kendal
with a sideline in hash brownies.

Joe?

Where's Rebecca?

She stayed at Tom's.
She's keeping out of my way.

Why? She said she didn't want to go
to university any more.

What? And then she said she wanted
a full-time job at the Fellside

and I said that was out
of the question and she stormed out.

Well...why didn't you just
go along with it?

Yeah, that's what Sophie said.

Maybe she had a point.
Maybe you over-reacted.

That's good,
coming from Mr Storm Out.

Hey! Except I stormed out
for good reason.

All right. Look, I did overreact
with Rebecca. I handled it clumsily.

But we've all been guilty of that.

Can't we just talk about it?

Look, I'm not having Nicola use Joe
to get a foothold in the
autism industry.

She's giving a presentation to half
a dozen staff at the health centre.

Nicola's done something to help
because she likes Joe.

And because she knows how we
struggled trying to get Joe's
autism recognised.

There's nothing on it that he
doesn't do.

And he comes across as a happy kid
that makes his own choices.

Even if those choices are unusual.

So you're just going to go ahead
and let her show it, then, are you?

No, I'm not. I thought
about what you said,
and I am going to go with Nicola,

and I will answer any
questions about him and I will

stamp on any misconceptions -
you know what I'm like.

Does that help reassure you?

It sounds to me like you care
more about helping Nicola

than how Joe looks to a room full
of strangers.

I care about how well-informed

strangers are when they meet Joe
and kids like him.

If you don't want Nicola to show
the film, well, then, she won't,

but you'll have to tell her why,
because I don't understand.

And I am trying to understand, Paul.

Do what you want.

Do what you want.

Hey!

Fine. Then I am going to go
and get ready to help Nicola get a
foothold in the autism industry.

At least you've got some fruit,
I suppose.

The chocolate's for Eddie.

Right. Well, I'm not here to judge.

Do we need bleach, by the way?

I don't know. Do you?

How are you feeling?

Not bad. Not bad, this time.

Good.

Not going to give me a theory?

About what?

Dosage, the treatment, my recovery.

I'm a bit pushed, to be honest.

Right.

I rang last night.

Did you? I must have missed you.

I-I-I went to bed early.

I was a bit under the weather.

Oh, right,
well, I'm sorry to hear that.

OK. Bye, now. It's, er,
good to see you up and about.

You, too.

How do you mean?

You were under the weather.
Last night.

When you went to bed early.

Might have overdone
the popcorn a bit!

Hey, have you started without me?

Hey? What's happened so far?

Right.

That's it.

Go on.

SHEEP BLEAT

# No-one tells you nothing

# Even when you know they know

♪ But they tell you what
you should do... ♪

As you can see, the child with
autism may from moment to moment

present a social face to the world
appropriate to his age

and development, and then when he
feels

the social demands are getting
too great,

might retreat to
self-stimulating behaviours.

This serves two purposes -

comfort and distance.

Joe, look, look at the pictures.

Look, all these people are putting
different pictures on.

These aren't so much choices
as ingrained patterns.

Self-defence mechanisms.

Here you are.

So, here we see
that despite parental intervention

and attendance at a specialist
school,

a child on the spectrum will
occasionally revert to tried

and trusted behaviours
from their early childhood.

Come on, stop rocking.

Stop rocking for me, Joe, please.
Come on, have some popcorn.

Joe? Listen.

It's all right,
just stop rocking. Joe?

Joe?

Just stop... Joe! Just stop,
stop rocking.

No, no, no... Joe...

Eh, come here! Listen!

Give us that!

Eh, come on! Joe! Come back!

Eh, listen, I'm sorry, Joe.

Joe?

That seemed to go all right,
didn't it?

Yeah, seemed to.

I think Paul would have felt
better about it

if he'd seen how everyone responded.

Probably, yeah. By eating sandwiches
and drinking coffee.

Oh, sorry. It's their lunch break.

They've got to eat.
I know, I get it.

And it's their job, so...

Are you OK?

Yeah. Yeah.

# Don't dictate, don't dictate

♪ Don't dictate, dictate to me. ♪

Was harder than I thought.

Right.

Just to sit there
and watch Joe like that.

Well, it was watching other people
watching him, you know?

It's not that they weren't
interested in him,

but...it was his behaviours
they were looking at, it wasn't Joe.

Does that make sense?

Yeah. Yeah, it does.

Yeah.

I mean, I still think
we were right to show it.

I just didn't think it'd be
that tough.

Right, so you admit that you're
wrong,

but you're glad you showed it.

Classic.

I'm saying that...

I'm saying that watching it
at the health centre made me get it.

I get how you feel.

No, you don't, you don't,
you don't get how I feel.

I know we're supposed to embrace
Joe's autism and promote it

and-and-and claim that it's just...
it's a different way of being human.

It is a different way
of being human.

And he's wonderful.

He is.
And he's settled into his school.

And he-he draws, and he paints
and he writes stuff, and...

and people like him.

But does that mean that I have
to pretend that his autism
isn't a burden?

Something that he is going to have
to carry through his life?

Does that mean that
I wouldn't wish it away if I could?

His autism isn't an optional extra,
Paul. It's part of Joe.

It's part of who he is.

Yeah, and I hate it, Alison!

That's what Nicola's film
reminded me of.

I love Joe, I do,
but I hate his autism.

I hate it.

So you hate part of Joe.

The part that makes his life harder.

But it's the part that makes him
who he is.

It's Joe.

Your son!

HOOTING

Wow. That's quite a statement.

Yeah.
Two fingers would've been cheaper.

It's great, isn't it? I take it this
has got something to do with Stuart?

Yeah, I'm going to work for him!

He says that I can keep it
or I can do it up and sell it.

And if I do a good job he's going
to put another one my way.

You're going to work for Stuart?

HOOTING

Ah, this just gets better.

Paul.

Come on, Dad, stop being
so negative!

It's everything I've ever
dreamed of!

What you got there, Becky,
is an entry level vehicle.

It's got a couple of dents,
few miles on the clock, but,

then again, haven't we all?

I had a blue Type 2 Danbury on the
lot last week.

Literally beating them off
with a shitty stick.

Literally? Yeah.

It's like a car and a house
and a job all rolled into one.

I could go anywhere. I could sleep
in it. Cook in it.

Comes with a chef, does it?

Ha-ha.
I could take mates to festivals.

Lose your life going too
fast on the way home.

Is it insured?

Fully comp.

Does that mean yes?
I think that's yes!

I mean, it cost an arm and a leg
to insure it at her age, but, er,

can't cut corners, eh, Paul,
when it comes to family?

No.

Especially if you've put them
in a death trap in the first place.

It is mad, Rebecca.
You do understand that, don't you?

What your dad's saying is that
if it's what you want for now,

go for it.

If you can't go mad at your age,
when can you?

I don't know why I bother.

Come on, Joe, let's go!
You steer, I'll do the pedals!

Joking!

She just needed something to do,
Paul.

She looked a bit lost, to be honest.

Thanks for your parenting tips,
Stuart.

Well, I've had some experience.

You have! Yeah, how many is it now?

Five. Six?

Paul. No. No. It's fair enough.
I've always had high testosterone.

It's like a condition. You know
there's actually a word for it?

There is indeed.

Look, I just thought she might need
a bit of a project to keep her

occupied while she works out what
she wants to do.

She's going to university!

Yeah, I know.

What, you don't really think she's
going to stick at this, do you?

Working for me?
What, kid her age, with her brains?

No chance.

You-You don't know that.

Yeah, I do.

Look, I may not have certificates,
but I'm a great judge of people.

I mean, I-I chose Alison, didn't I?

If she doesn't go to university,
is it really the end of the world?

I mean, look at us three.
We turned out all right.

You fell out with her. That's why
she's out there now in a death trap.

You sort it out. I'm off to work.

What? Right now? Hang on. Hang on.

Look, Stuart, it's lovely to see you
and everything, but...
Yeah, you, too.

MUSIC PLAYS

You go up to go right.

You all right?
You and Paul seem a bit...

It's not great, no.

What did I used to do
to cheer you up?

I don't think that's an option.

The last time you cheered me up
we ended up with Rebecca.

Oh, yeah!

Thanks for sticking up for her.

Sometimes it takes someone
from outside the family to point
out the obvious, you know?

Yeah, I do.
It's never been you before today!

Look, Rebecca's bound to go to
university.

You're her mum,
and you should've gone.

Thanks.

And I'm sorry that, you know,

I put the kibosh on all
that by getting you up the stick.

I could still go to university now.

You could, yeah.

Not right away.

But I've-I've volunteered
to help out at a primary school

in Manchester next term.

So, see how that goes,
and then maybe do a course,

teacher training or something.

Volunteering? I don't get it.

Yeah, no, I didn't think you would.

If you're that keen on kids
why don't you just have a couple
more of your own?

You're still just about young
enough.

Oh, thanks, thanks.

No, I know you subscribe to the
old "let's have another baby
and hope for the best" model

but I'm not sure that's really
for me.

Is that why Paul's got a cob on,
because you're making career plans?

No, he doesn't know.
You're the only person I've told.

Oh. Right.

Right.

Piss off.

Ah, if you're going to give me a
blow-by-blow account of last night's

Sex Olympics, I'm not in the mood.

Just as well. I got disqualified
after three false starts.

You know Nicola showed that fucking
film at the health centre?

The film? What film? Oh, Joe's film.
Thanks for reminding me.

I'd forgotten you didn't like it.

Do you ever think maybe
you're just going mad

and that you've
got about...EVERYTHING wrong?

I've got a bunch of students
from this morning who definitely
think so.

Oh, and then Rebecca rocks
up in a campervan.

Like I'm supposed to just
nod along with it.

Like I don't get a say.

There's a day in every man's life

when he realises he's not his
family's Michael Corleone. Eh?

Then there's a worse day
you realise you're Fredo.

The chocolate frog?

See, my problem is I think of the
right thing to say

about a day after the conversation's
happened.

By the time you get home tonight
you should have a zinger
of a speech ready.

For a film you hate, you aren't half
watching the life out of it.

It's not Joe. It's Rebecca.

Oh, look at her.

Just look at her!

Do you know how many hours
we've got of this girl of ours?

I hate to think.

Do you know how many hours
we've got of Joe?

It's different with a second child.

You never take as many photos,
you never do.

We just stopped filming him,
didn't we?

Just... After the diagnosis,
we just stopped filming him,

and I think we both know
why that was.

Do we?

Because we hated his autism?

Except you didn't.

I was the one that had
a problem with it.

It's taken me two years to get
to where you were with Joe, Paul.

Two years not to see it as a problem
that I had to take on and solve.

You were the accepting one.

When I finally get to where I think
you are, you've moved.

# The calendar on your wall
was ticking the days off

# You've been reading some
old letters

# You smile
and think how much you've changed

# All the money in the world
couldn't buy back those days

# You pull back the curtain

# And the sun burns into your eyes

# You watch a plane flying

# Across a clear blue sky

# This is the day your life
will surely change

# This is the day
when things fall into place

♪ You could have done anything... ♪

Thought you didn't like him
being filmed. This is different.

Does Mum know you've come round to
her point of view?

I haven't.

For what it's worth, I think
you might be half right.

Half right? Really?

I don't know how much he'll like it
when he's 18, you know?

Exactly.

The problem is that I think Mum
might be half right, too.

But then, what do I know?

OK.

GP's letter. Teacher's report.
Old plan. Speech therapy report.

We just need to finish that
and then we're good to go.

I'm sorry I didn't get it all done.

Are you OK?

So, as long as we get the council
to agree to the changes

in the EHC plan, Mark will go to the
college he wants.

That sound good to you, Mark?

Thanks, Alison.
I just lost the will to live.

Come on, how far did you get?

Well, I know it's all supposed to
be in Mark's words

but I did write some of it myself.

You and every other parent
in the country.

But he did write his own bit in the
hopes, dreams and ambitions section.

Great.

Oh, I'd like to hear that.

I wish to be happy.

I hope to be a drummer in a band.

I hope to have friends.

I hope to have a girlfriend.

And I hope to have children.

A good day for me is
when I say things

and everybody knows what I mean.

I would like to be cool,
but my mum doesn't have the books.

I would like the words to come
slower,

from outside and inside.

I would like to go to college
and hang out with other kids my age.

I'd like them to be OK with having
a big autistic lad for a friend.

I would like that very much indeed.

Amen to that.

Amen to that.

Morning, Maurice.

You thinking about getting
a dog after all?

Hey, Maurice, do us a favour?

Whoa, give over!

Give us Joe in one word.

I don't like playing
games at Christmas, I'm sure
I don't want to do it now! Come on!

First word that comes into your head
when you think of Joe.

That is lovely, Ella.
That's really coming on a treat.

Shall we think about some music
we could play while you danced?

You're not really thinking
about becoming a second-hand car
saleswoman, are you?

I have to do something.
Mum and Dad need me to stay.

And do what?

I'll pick something up.

You will in that campervan,
that's for sure.

I can't go anywhere
when they're like this.

If something's wrong with them, then
something will be wrong with Joe.

And he can't sort them out, can he?

And you can? With your track record?

Do you know why we became friends on
the first day of secondary school?

A weakness for mascara?

Well, yes, that,

but because we both knew we were
going to get away from this place.

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

Who would like to go next?

Ramesh.
And what will you be doing for us?

It's a magic trick. Excellent.

Except we all know there's
no such thing as magic.

Well, I wouldn't argue with that
so far.

# Don't push too far

# Your dreams are china in your
hands

♪ Don't wish too hard
Because... ♪

You just have to stay around here

and you stand a high chance
of becoming dull.

Never the case for me, but for you.

I'll take that risk.

♪ China in your... ♪

Engine.

What?

When I'm out with him.
He's got a good engine on him.

That word you wanted.

"Engine?" Yeah.

It's taken you all day
to come up with that?

Has anybody else said it?

No. Surprisingly.

Come on.

Engine.

What're you doing here?

University terms.

It's not what I meant.

Come on, Emily.

If I was a woman I'm not sure I'd
be happy about you having a key

to your ex-wife's house.

Sorry. I stopped listening after
"If I was a woman."
Give me a moment.

You know what I'm saying.
You've still got ketchup on your
chin from last night's barbecue.

I really, really don't know
what you're saying.

Holly. She must be pissed off with
you, always running back here.

Whatever Holly feels is no longer
any concern of mine.

Oh, well, welcome to the club.

What?

Louise. She's ended it.

Ended it?

It's not official yet,
so don't go blabbing.

No. No.

She does know
she's ended it, doesn't she?

Let me get this right.

Ralph said something,
you didn't know what he meant,

and this was three days ago,

but you still haven't actually
rung Louise to ask her?

In 1876, a man called
Alexander Graham Bell invented

the telephone so that years later
an emotionally repressed 58-year-old

man could use his invention to phone
his girlfriend and talk to her.

I can't very well ask her now,
can I?

She's halfway through chemo.
It wouldn't be fair.

Well, as excuses go, that's got a
nice fake ring of nobility about it,

but it's still an excuse.

And she was off with me
in the supermarket.

What is this? Fifth form?
What're you going to do next?

Wheelies outside her house
on your bike? I'd been thinking.

I suggested we book a holiday after
the chemo, she shut that right down.

She probably doesn't want to plan
that far ahead. It's a tricky time.

What was Mum like about that stuff?

You know what your mum was like.

She always liked to plan ahead.

She even wrote her own funeral plan.

Dad. Take it easy. You're both going
through an awful lot.

Everything's bound to be blown
right out of proportion.

Go round there, calmly.

Think about what you're going
to say. Then listen.

Listen to what she's saying.
What she's really saying.

Not some half-baked interpretation
of a throwaway remark from Ralph.

And how about breaking
the habit of a lifetime?

Don't do anything rash.
Don't say anything rash.

You're right. I know you're right.

I'm always right about other
people's relationships.

Are you still here?

People keep saying that!

It's Paul.

So it is.

The film.

Yeah. The film.

You just needed to warn me.
Maybe, you know,

before I saw it,
maybe, the first time.

I didn't know I'd have to.

I thought you were OK
with how Joe is.

I am OK. I am OK with Joe.

Good. Great.
That's all cleared up, then.

You know, Paul, I care about Joe.

And I care about you
and Alison and Rebecca.

There we are, then.
Misunderstanding over.

And every bit of progress that has
ever been made about people's

attitude to autism has been made
because people talked about it,

were open about it and explained it.

Paul came here to apologise, Nicola.
No, I didn't.

And that's all I'm trying to do.
Move things on,
make it better understood.

Right.

It was only ever for that group.

I won't be showing it again.

I was never going to be
showing it again.

Right, thank you for that.

Oh, God! You don't have to thank me.

You just have to know that
I would never do anything

to further my career if I thought
it was at Joe's expense.

You know, for all your tact
and diplomacy, I thought

it might have gone either way there,
just now.

Yeah, I think he could tell
the alpha male in the room.

That'll be it. And I know it's
because he isn't OK with Joe.

Well, the film can't have helped
if he is having problems. Hm.

No. You're right.
It probably didn't.

Hallelujah. She admits she's wrong.

I didn't say that.

So it wasn't right,
but it's not wrong, either?

I was single-minded.
That's how I work.

I've always been an
eye-on-the-end-result kind of woman.

Well, that would certainly
explain our sex life.

I don't go out of my way to trample
over everyone's feelings.

It's just... A habit, I know.

Yes.

Like you turning up here every time
you're at a loose end.

Well, Emily's here. I don't think
I need another reason, do I?

No, I don't mind.

Why don't you stay?

Well, it'd be hard to move,
now I've made myself comfy
in this slough of despond.

Got a late booking
for a table of ten.

The beetroot starters
all went at lunchtime.

Gary's in a state,
it might involve fennel.

See you later.

Right.

Is that all you're going to say?

Well, what else can you can
say about beetroot and fennel?

Right.

Look...

it's not like I just
woke up one morning

and decided to feel this way.

Really?
Cos that's what it feels like to me.

Cos you've never talked about it.
We never talk about it.

I don't want to talk about it.
I didn't even want to feel it.

I just... I wanted to bury it.

Yeah.

And bury us along with it.

So Ralph said
we wouldn't need you any more?

And that's why you stopped
talking to me?

Well, I was in a bit of a tailspin,
to be honest.

I could see that.

So why didn't you ask me
what was up?

Because I thought you might say
that you'd had enough.

That you were only sticking around
out of a sense of duty.

So what did Ralph mean?

This has been a big change
for Ralph.

Me having...this,
and you being around,

and all we've ever said was that you
were helping to look after me,

so why wouldn't he think that once
the chemo was over, we were over,
too? So, are we sorted?

Almost.

Oh, right. What else?

Gone very quiet.
It's never a good sign.

Well, it's obvious, in't it?

Not really.

I loved Sandra, you know.

I know.

Great marriage. Great, you know,
bedroom stuff.

Big reader.

Argue like I don't know what.

Good mum.

Very strong legs.

Good-natured. Smoothed things over
after I've got everybody's back up.

Never forgot anybody's birthday.

Great dancer.

I loved her.

I loved her so much.

So?

So?

Will you marry me?

What?

Good lad!

Oh, all right, Joe!

I know what you're doing!

I want to look.

Headphones.

Punk.

Neuro-atypical.

Roof.

Local.

One-off.

That's two words. You're supposed
to be the clever one.

Engine.

Joe.

Son.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen...

to the Millcross Primary End of Year
Show.

Right now, it's me and your dad's

responsibility,
and we're fine with it.

What if you and Dad aren't fine
with each other, what then?

Let's not blame Joe.
Who shall we blame?

It's us, Alison.

We need to talk. For the next five
minutes, I want you to talk like me
and not like you.

Brutally honest.

How much trouble are we in here?

I just want to run away.

From what? From this, all this,
from everything.

All I've got is this, Paul.
I can't imagine a world where you

and Alison would ever not be
together.

Can we leave off the hide and seek
now? I'm running out of energy.

I feel like I've opened
the door on us

and all the bad stuff just...
It-It's pouring out.