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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:21,557 United King & Metro United King Communications present. 2 00:00:22,350 --> 00:00:24,570 A film by Dror Shaul. 3 00:00:25,070 --> 00:00:30,780 Nothing is left other than the longing 4 00:00:31,010 --> 00:00:38,010 time passes, slowly slowly hour, week 5 00:00:39,350 --> 00:00:44,920 already almost a year and the world goes on as before 6 00:00:45,620 --> 00:00:52,620 and only my voice calls out now tell me why. 7 00:00:53,430 --> 00:00:57,016 I was in heaven 8 00:00:57,100 --> 00:01:00,410 and now my heart is wounded 9 00:01:00,510 --> 00:01:07,010 and it is such an old and common story. 10 00:01:07,910 --> 00:01:14,420 And you called me your flower and eyes 11 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:20,560 I remember i was your soulmate 12 00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:28,370 only with you i floated above in the skies 13 00:01:28,670 --> 00:01:35,670 suddenly i fell alone to the ground. 14 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:41,850 Life flowed all was routine 15 00:01:42,410 --> 00:01:49,410 how we sang then, two voices together without turmoil 16 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:56,600 and there were nights of laughter and fun 17 00:01:56,830 --> 00:02:02,936 but now my voice has a torn cord 18 00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:05,668 I'm back here with you, on a Friday afternoon. 19 00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:08,540 Anyone who feels lonely is invited to call in, 20 00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:11,980 maybe find someone nice, someone close, 21 00:02:12,330 --> 00:02:14,280 and maybe even someone to love. 22 00:02:14,490 --> 00:02:18,570 I called and called... it's always busy. 23 00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:25,090 And you called me your flower and eyes. 24 00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:32,426 I remember i was your soulmate. 25 00:02:32,510 --> 00:02:35,790 Well? What do you think? 26 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,390 Asher would have liked it. 27 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,720 Asher... 28 00:02:47,060 --> 00:02:50,420 Original Music Ofir Leibovitz. 29 00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:54,460 Director of Photography Amnon Zlaiet. 30 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:02,380 Hello Mrs. Julia, can you give me a shave? 31 00:03:04,180 --> 00:03:07,570 Come back in an hour. - Thank you Mrs. Julia. 32 00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:14,480 Editor Ron Omer. 33 00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:17,613 Producers Duddy Zilber, Miki Rabinowitz, 34 00:03:17,790 --> 00:03:19,460 Moshe Edri, Leon Edri. 35 00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:24,480 Sima, it's been more than a year. 36 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,880 Why don't you go with Batat? 37 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,200 See how well he's preserved. 38 00:03:37,740 --> 00:03:39,580 I'm off to the market. 39 00:04:01,370 --> 00:04:03,320 What'll we do with her? 40 00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:08,220 Scriptwriter & Director Dror Shaul. 41 00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:12,530 Sima Vaknin, Witch. 42 00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:21,890 The food is wonderful. 43 00:04:22,990 --> 00:04:24,660 Enjoy. 44 00:04:26,130 --> 00:04:28,920 What's new? - As usual. 45 00:04:29,460 --> 00:04:32,500 Nothing new. - We have a new family name. 46 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,540 What? 47 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:39,020 I feel nauseous. 48 00:04:42,810 --> 00:04:46,360 Why a new name? What was wrong with Vanunu. 49 00:04:46,580 --> 00:04:49,970 They're ashamed of their origins. - No one's ashamed! 50 00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:53,936 We just wanted to diversify. The name lost its appeal 51 00:04:54,020 --> 00:04:55,636 when they discovered the spy Vanunu. 52 00:04:55,720 --> 00:05:00,510 From that day my luck turned bad and I've had a streak of failures. 53 00:05:00,660 --> 00:05:02,730 That's superstition. - Shut up! 54 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,446 On top of it all, I owe the bank 60,000 55 00:05:06,530 --> 00:05:09,616 because there's no work in renovation, all because of what? 56 00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,530 The casino. - Right. 57 00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:15,660 Bibi! If mom hears you, you can forget about the walkman. 58 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,960 So you've changed your name from Vanunu? -Yes. 59 00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:24,000 And from yesterday... we're the Anan (cloud) family. 60 00:05:27,390 --> 00:05:29,806 What's the matter sweetie? You haven't touched your food. 61 00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:33,600 I'm a bit nauseous. - Maybe you're sick. 62 00:05:33,790 --> 00:05:37,750 She's fine. - It's nothing. -She's pregnant. 63 00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:41,770 Etty? 64 00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:47,290 Yes, mom. 65 00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:55,740 We have to throw a huge party! 66 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,822 And we have to find an apartment. 67 00:05:59,090 --> 00:06:00,560 Apartment? 68 00:06:04,420 --> 00:06:08,340 A whole year you've been living here! What's the matter now? 69 00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:11,370 Now it'll be crowded. 70 00:06:26,410 --> 00:06:29,930 Three, four, five... - And a half. -My strides. 71 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:35,920 By one, two, three, four... times 2.60 72 00:06:36,990 --> 00:06:40,380 here I'll build you a panoramic window, real stylish. 73 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:42,010 How much will it cost? 74 00:06:43,430 --> 00:06:47,740 About... 60,000 in all. 75 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,120 60,000? 76 00:06:50,340 --> 00:06:53,970 All my savings under the mattress, refrigerator and tiles 77 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,830 hardly total 1 0,000. 78 00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:03,140 1 0,000 won't even cover the floor. 79 00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:07,920 I'll take out a loan. 80 00:07:08,790 --> 00:07:11,320 Sima, are you sure you need this renovation? 81 00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:13,946 I've already spent money on the design, 82 00:07:14,030 --> 00:07:15,740 but I can still cancel it. 83 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:20,686 I'm sure. Let's go inside and I'll give you an advance. 84 00:07:20,770 --> 00:07:25,760 But in any case, this tree has to go. - So take it down. 85 00:07:25,910 --> 00:07:28,060 Hey, don't you dare touch my tree! 86 00:07:28,310 --> 00:07:29,428 What are you doing? 87 00:07:29,810 --> 00:07:32,930 Here I'm building an addition from the living room, 88 00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:35,696 and I'll construct... - You won't construct a thing. 89 00:07:35,780 --> 00:07:37,696 Why not? -Because this belongs to the entire building. 90 00:07:37,780 --> 00:07:41,016 And she has to get approval from the tenant's committee. 91 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:46,440 Bro, forget committees, let's be practical, we'll find a solution... 92 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:50,520 We won't cause you're not allowed to build here, that's final! 93 00:07:53,270 --> 00:07:56,740 Vasserman, please, all the other tenants have signed. 94 00:07:56,870 --> 00:08:02,390 Can't you be more considerate? - I'm not considerate, Sima? 95 00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:07,140 The stairs smell from your cooking, we need a mask to walk through, 96 00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:10,666 at night you make so much noise that we need ear plugs to sleep, 97 00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:12,736 and you haven't paid your building fees for a year. 98 00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:16,236 And now you want to take down my tree just to build another room? 99 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,006 When will you finally understand it's not a jungle here! 100 00:08:19,090 --> 00:08:22,290 Calm down, Tarzan. - Forget the renovation. 101 00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:30,110 You'll be in trouble if even one leaf falls off this tree, 102 00:08:30,270 --> 00:08:31,990 I count each one of them. 103 00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,680 Disgusting! 104 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,990 1 00, 200, 300, 400... 105 00:09:03,140 --> 00:09:05,570 Mom, what are you doing? - Renovating. 106 00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:08,622 Renovating? - So it won't be crowded here. 107 00:09:12,780 --> 00:09:15,660 Crowded? We're moving to Tel Aviv. 108 00:09:15,950 --> 00:09:19,300 How are you, honey? - I'm bored. 109 00:09:19,420 --> 00:09:21,636 Bring your dad a coke. - I don't want to. 110 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,636 Mom, you're making a mistake. - Want to play ball? 111 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,476 Don't waste your money. - Don't want to play ball. 112 00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:28,913 So let's make a box made of paper. - Mom! 113 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:33,000 You take a piece of paper, even a newspaper, 114 00:09:33,730 --> 00:09:39,520 fold it exactly in the middle... - We're moving to Tel Aviv! 115 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,296 And where's the money for rent? - We have savings 116 00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:44,726 that will be enough for 6 months. - You used to have savings. 117 00:09:44,810 --> 00:09:47,610 You see. - What? -He made a deal. 118 00:09:47,850 --> 00:09:52,640 A deal? - And now... you have nothing left. 119 00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:57,680 You fold two triangles... - A deal with who? 120 00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:59,960 The casino. - What? 121 00:10:03,860 --> 00:10:06,140 You'll regret this renovation! 122 00:10:08,970 --> 00:10:12,930 You just lost all your presents, including Bar Mitzvah presents. 123 00:10:13,910 --> 00:10:17,734 Good evening. Welcome to a new season of the Shpitz (sting/prick). 124 00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:20,460 City fagot! 125 00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:23,380 Where's my cola? - In the fridge. 126 00:10:26,650 --> 00:10:28,400 Bring me an ashtray. 127 00:10:29,790 --> 00:10:33,940 You make sure it's straight. - Today we have lots of surprises. 128 00:10:34,090 --> 00:10:38,010 You open it up... And what do we have? 129 00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:41,690 It's real easy, right? 130 00:10:41,870 --> 00:10:44,590 Where's the ashtray? - Forget it. 131 00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:49,410 And now... 132 00:11:07,890 --> 00:11:09,370 Good night. 133 00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:27,290 Come to me. - I have a headache. 134 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:31,210 Don't you remember that I'm ovulating today. 135 00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:33,280 I'm dead tired. 136 00:11:35,590 --> 00:11:39,260 Excuse me. I'm saying that I'm ovulating and you're tired? 137 00:11:40,290 --> 00:11:42,730 Mazal, I just can't, please, not tonight. 138 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:50,320 Dov, if you don't wake up and fuck me right now, 139 00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,330 I'll tell on you to Dr. Maor. 140 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:06,600 For two years... I've been trying to get impregnated, 141 00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:10,940 and you don't care, you're always tired. 142 00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:15,170 Why don't you give it a chance like Dr. Maor said? 143 00:12:17,060 --> 00:12:19,820 Stop it, Mazal, enough. 144 00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:22,320 I want to get impregnated so much! 145 00:12:22,470 --> 00:12:24,294 I also want to get impregnated. 146 00:12:26,970 --> 00:12:31,490 OK... OK, don't cry. 147 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:39,470 So you agree? - Yes. 148 00:12:47,230 --> 00:12:51,190 Start alone, I must take a shit. I'll be right back. 149 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:04,070 Now! Saw! Quickly! 150 00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:08,250 What's that noise? Are you crazy? 151 00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:11,999 Just one minute, I'll take down the tree and I'll shut if off. 152 00:13:12,150 --> 00:13:13,500 What!! 153 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,546 What are you doing? -You have no idea of the trouble you're in! 154 00:13:24,630 --> 00:13:27,086 Trouble? Trouble with who? - I'll hit you with a lawsuit 155 00:13:27,170 --> 00:13:29,160 that you'll never ever forget. 156 00:13:29,940 --> 00:13:32,970 Now listen up, you paparazzi. 157 00:13:33,140 --> 00:13:35,780 This is my living and I owe the bank 60,000. 158 00:13:40,180 --> 00:13:43,300 Hope you have a warrantee... 159 00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:51,500 Start the saw before I kick your ass! 160 00:13:57,660 --> 00:14:00,580 Lito, more fast! More fast! 161 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:06,910 Put! Out! It's no heavy, take it out. 162 00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:11,180 No problem! Why problem! Why you problem make! 163 00:14:13,210 --> 00:14:18,890 Excuse me, do you by any chance have some tape? 164 00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:22,603 How much to do you need? - Just enough to cover that part. 165 00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:28,780 What's it for? 166 00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:36,020 My palms... are very sweaty... 167 00:14:36,570 --> 00:14:41,280 And then it slippery... - It slips. Now it won't slip. 168 00:14:42,170 --> 00:14:43,650 Thank you, bro. 169 00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:50,580 Does it slip now? - No, it's not slippery any more. 170 00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:53,740 Thank you. - You're welcome. 171 00:14:54,890 --> 00:14:57,690 What's it for? - Guess. 172 00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:14,490 What happened to dad? - He fell. 173 00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:17,900 Where from? The Eiffel Tower? 174 00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:21,900 Mrs. Vaknin? - Oh... you finally came. 175 00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:24,930 Sorry, traffic jams. Are you Sima Vaknin? 176 00:15:27,990 --> 00:15:31,020 Yes, Mr. Policeman. See what they did to him? 177 00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:35,460 Real animals... What do we do now? - Sign here. 178 00:15:35,860 --> 00:15:38,300 OK, sweetie, sure. - And down here it says 179 00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:40,816 that if you don't pay the fine, you may be sued. 180 00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:44,940 Sued? -Sued for what? - Sued for-6A destroying a tree, 181 00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,110 and 9C, building without a permit! 182 00:15:47,270 --> 00:15:51,270 I recommend that you pay the fine, cause you'll be trampled in court. 183 00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:56,850 Court? -All the policemen in Israel are garbage. Your turn. 184 00:15:57,050 --> 00:16:00,606 I don't have any. - It's all because of the new police commander, 185 00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:04,320 I wouldn't even let him deal with Arabs. 186 00:16:04,490 --> 00:16:10,280 Why? Arabs only understand force. Your turn. 187 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:13,060 I don't have any. - Take from the bank. 188 00:16:13,370 --> 00:16:15,600 Arabs from the territories, yes... 189 00:16:15,770 --> 00:16:18,056 After all they did to us during the Intifada, 190 00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:19,726 they deserve whatever they get. 191 00:16:19,810 --> 00:16:25,240 Last card. -But to do that to a Jew? What has become of us? 192 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,440 Last card. Sima? 193 00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:32,100 I have such horrible luck. - Take from the bank. 194 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,480 I'm all alone, without a husband, no renovation, 195 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,840 and half my family in the hospital. 196 00:16:39,590 --> 00:16:43,350 I say that you have to take revenge against the neighbor. 197 00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:51,586 I hope that horrible things happen to the neighbor. 198 00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:54,286 That his father has a heart attack, his sister breaks a leg, 199 00:16:54,370 --> 00:16:56,756 his wife won't have a baby, he gets fired from work, 200 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,866 his house burns down, he gets run over by a car, 201 00:16:59,950 --> 00:17:02,766 he gets sick and he'll regret being born! 202 00:17:02,850 --> 00:17:05,240 Amen! 203 00:17:09,620 --> 00:17:12,980 Sorry... I don't know what came over me. 204 00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:16,420 Whose turn is it? 205 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:26,870 Happy birthday... 206 00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:40,460 To Gaddy, a toast to his new job at the Ministry of Defense, 207 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,030 Don't let it slip from your fingers! 208 00:17:46,930 --> 00:17:51,360 To Mazal, who is finally pregnant... 209 00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:53,720 Mazal Tov. 210 00:17:55,500 --> 00:18:01,660 For myself, I wish only health and love, because... 211 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:06,750 since your mother's death, my heart aches... 212 00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:11,075 It's difficult being at home, difficult at the Council... 213 00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:13,956 And now, again, with the election coming up... 214 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,680 So my wish today is... 215 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:20,480 for my heart to stop aching, 216 00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:23,907 to have a nice feeling in my heart... 217 00:18:24,260 --> 00:18:28,220 because the heart is the most important organ in the body. 218 00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:33,450 The heart is... - Dad, it's dripping on the cake. 219 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:45,490 So we should always listen to our hearts. 220 00:18:47,050 --> 00:18:48,850 Lehaim! 221 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:56,680 Happy birthday! 222 00:18:58,330 --> 00:19:00,000 Dad!! 223 00:19:16,950 --> 00:19:19,780 Heart attack! - What? 224 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:24,580 He never had heart problems. - There's always a first time. 225 00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:28,540 What's the matter with daddy? 226 00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:32,650 Michali! 227 00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:53,330 What we have here is a fractured apple. - Fractured what? 228 00:19:56,390 --> 00:20:00,510 See this joint? It's called an apple. 229 00:20:00,690 --> 00:20:03,867 If you look closely, you'll notice that it's fractured. 230 00:20:04,260 --> 00:20:06,900 4 nails and one year in bed. 231 00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,140 Mazal! 232 00:20:19,110 --> 00:20:20,780 What's the matter? 233 00:20:57,450 --> 00:20:59,490 Quiet, you Moroccan! 234 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,280 Sima Vaknin is a witch. 235 00:21:09,230 --> 00:21:10,380 What? 236 00:21:12,260 --> 00:21:15,260 Sima Vaknin's a witch and she's put a curse on us. 237 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,350 What has she done? 238 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,400 She's cursed us. 239 00:21:20,170 --> 00:21:23,610 You still believe in that nonsense. 240 00:21:24,140 --> 00:21:27,396 Your father had a heart attack, your sister broke her apple, 241 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:28,866 and I had a miscarriage! 242 00:21:28,950 --> 00:21:31,598 What else has to happen for you to believe it? 243 00:21:36,620 --> 00:21:38,679 Answer the phone. It's the hospital. 244 00:21:41,060 --> 00:21:42,650 Maybe it's Dr. Maor. 245 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:48,470 Hello... yes... 246 00:21:50,470 --> 00:21:53,110 It's from your office. - This late? 247 00:21:58,580 --> 00:22:01,770 Hello? Has something happened? 248 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,640 No, no, it's alright. 249 00:22:06,850 --> 00:22:08,600 What do you mean? 250 00:22:11,190 --> 00:22:15,020 Why? It's final? 251 00:22:21,870 --> 00:22:23,460 What happened? 252 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,680 I just got fired. - What? 253 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,046 This wonderful song was written on the beach, 254 00:22:52,130 --> 00:22:54,690 the lovers' beach at Palma de Majorca. 255 00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:57,980 Let me remind you that anyone looking for love 256 00:22:58,300 --> 00:23:01,300 should call me and meet someone nice. 257 00:23:01,510 --> 00:23:07,180 Our telephone number is 979-97-97. 258 00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:33,660 Go away! - Just a minute! Wait! 259 00:23:33,770 --> 00:23:36,210 Get away from me! - I came to apologize! 260 00:23:36,370 --> 00:23:38,606 Murderer! - You have a building permit! 261 00:23:39,380 --> 00:23:43,730 What did you say? -Mrs. Vaknin, I got you a building permit. 262 00:23:43,950 --> 00:23:47,990 Look... here. All the neighbors signed it, 263 00:23:48,290 --> 00:23:51,400 and also the head of the Council. 264 00:23:52,620 --> 00:23:55,930 What? Now they're suddenly giving me a permit? 265 00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:58,180 Wait! What are you up to, you snake? 266 00:23:58,300 --> 00:24:03,320 Mrs. Vaknin... everyone is fine with you're renovation. 267 00:24:07,340 --> 00:24:11,490 I also went to the police and cancelled all the complaints. 268 00:24:15,010 --> 00:24:17,240 You can start the renovation today. 269 00:24:23,190 --> 00:24:27,310 So... - So we're Ok now? 270 00:24:29,630 --> 00:24:32,460 Sure. - Great. 271 00:24:54,290 --> 00:24:55,510 Hi Leon! 272 00:24:55,850 --> 00:24:57,770 How are you? - OK. 273 00:24:58,820 --> 00:25:02,500 Was Dov here? -Yes, asked me to sign some documents. 274 00:25:02,690 --> 00:25:04,970 Do you have cups? - Here you go. 275 00:25:07,330 --> 00:25:09,970 Thanks. Hi, I'm Gaddy. 276 00:25:10,170 --> 00:25:12,160 I'm Etty. - This is Leon. 277 00:25:12,370 --> 00:25:15,090 This is my husband Avi. - Nice to meet you. 278 00:25:20,210 --> 00:25:22,326 What happened to him? - He was attacked. 279 00:25:22,410 --> 00:25:25,410 Really? Did you see who it was? - No. 280 00:25:27,250 --> 00:25:30,603 I'm always willing to come if there's a nose to be broken. 281 00:25:35,630 --> 00:25:39,020 Etty, don't you see he's in pain? Get a nurse in here. 282 00:25:39,230 --> 00:25:42,348 Sweetie, calm down. You'll get a shot and feel better. 283 00:25:42,470 --> 00:25:44,916 Maybe I should tighten this screw. - Are you an expert? 284 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,530 Expert? It's just a screw. 285 00:25:49,410 --> 00:25:50,680 Quiet, Mr. Anan. 286 00:25:52,140 --> 00:25:55,060 This shot is very strong. 287 00:25:56,050 --> 00:25:58,536 When you wake up tomorrow you won't remember your name. 288 00:25:58,620 --> 00:26:00,970 Did you have dinner? - Are you crazy? 289 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,880 This food can kill you. I'm starved. 290 00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:05,785 I'll get you something to eat. 291 00:26:08,090 --> 00:26:11,170 Who's hungry? I brought a ton of food from home. 292 00:26:18,900 --> 00:26:21,900 Pleased to meet you, I'm Leon. 293 00:26:31,550 --> 00:26:36,100 Vaknin, Sima Vaknin. 294 00:26:41,330 --> 00:26:45,920 What do you like? - Everything you have. 295 00:27:08,820 --> 00:27:10,976 I can't believe I went to her and apologized. 296 00:27:11,060 --> 00:27:13,806 Curses and spells? Are you as primitive as they are? 297 00:27:13,890 --> 00:27:15,880 Answer me. - Dov... 298 00:27:17,830 --> 00:27:19,260 What's going on here? 299 00:27:25,540 --> 00:27:27,426 Please don't go in there. - What's going on? 300 00:27:27,510 --> 00:27:29,569 There's a fire on the second floor. 301 00:27:31,140 --> 00:27:34,846 It's my apartment. -It's burned down. There's no reason to rush. 302 00:27:42,850 --> 00:27:46,556 Except for the one apartment, nothing else was burned. Let's go. 303 00:27:58,370 --> 00:28:02,200 What did she do to you? - She cursed me. 304 00:28:05,210 --> 00:28:06,930 Cursed you? 305 00:28:11,580 --> 00:28:16,740 Why did she curse you? Maybe you pulled her hair. 306 00:28:16,890 --> 00:28:19,436 Mr. Policeman, I don't have time to joke around. 307 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:25,600 Look, Vasserman, if this is a candid camera joke, 308 00:28:26,300 --> 00:28:30,010 then tell your colleague to come out of his hole, 309 00:28:30,170 --> 00:28:32,818 cause my sinuses have been killing me all day. 310 00:28:35,710 --> 00:28:38,670 Listen, Colombo, do you think I'm kidding? 311 00:28:38,810 --> 00:28:41,458 I'm telling you that she cursed all my family. 312 00:28:41,550 --> 00:28:44,300 So curse her back. - How? 313 00:28:44,420 --> 00:28:48,090 You don't know? Tell her: Good morning, Sima, 314 00:28:48,220 --> 00:28:51,376 your mother's cunt is inside the mouth of an albino Arab 315 00:28:51,460 --> 00:28:54,637 with three nipples from Taibe, who fucked your daughter 316 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,230 in an orgy with an Iraqi, a Georgian, a Kurd, 317 00:28:58,430 --> 00:29:01,216 and two foreign workers, one from Thailand 318 00:29:01,300 --> 00:29:02,986 and the other from the Philippines, 319 00:29:03,070 --> 00:29:05,856 whose father is part Christian and part Scientologist, 320 00:29:05,940 --> 00:29:08,226 and his mother is actually his elder sister, 321 00:29:08,310 --> 00:29:11,260 and she has Siamese twins 322 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:17,000 connected at the asshole that's shaped like a Barbie doll 323 00:29:17,150 --> 00:29:20,900 that's saluting Yossi Sarid! 324 00:29:36,330 --> 00:29:38,800 Hey you, lift that bike! 325 00:30:11,570 --> 00:30:13,050 He's dead. 326 00:30:18,210 --> 00:30:20,800 Yes, I'm driving from now on. 327 00:30:38,930 --> 00:30:42,320 Julia. - What's the matter? -Sima... 328 00:30:42,500 --> 00:30:45,380 What about Sima? - In the newspaper. 329 00:30:45,700 --> 00:30:47,726 Is Sima Vaknin a Witch? 330 00:30:47,810 --> 00:30:49,826 Mazal Vasserman claims that Sima Vaknin 331 00:30:49,910 --> 00:30:52,956 has cursed her husband and caused his disappearance. 332 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:57,040 Anyone with information, contact the police ASAP! 333 00:30:59,420 --> 00:31:02,330 Come on. Let's go. 334 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,016 This wonderful song was also written on 335 00:31:13,100 --> 00:31:16,570 the beautiful coconut beach at Palma de Majorca. 336 00:31:17,140 --> 00:31:20,680 Dear listeners, please call us 337 00:31:20,940 --> 00:31:26,940 at 979-97-97. 338 00:31:56,940 --> 00:31:58,260 Sima! 339 00:31:58,580 --> 00:32:01,450 There she is! - Sima! 340 00:32:12,460 --> 00:32:15,519 One more round and I'll buy my grandmother a present. 341 00:32:15,830 --> 00:32:19,620 Bibi, your grandmother... does she have someone? 342 00:32:20,900 --> 00:32:24,020 Since grandfather died... she's all alone. 343 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,520 What do you say? - I say forget about her. 344 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:33,120 She'd never go out with you. - Will you give me her number? 345 00:32:36,010 --> 00:32:37,930 If you bet your walkman. 346 00:32:42,020 --> 00:32:44,140 Done. - Show your cards. 347 00:32:46,690 --> 00:32:50,450 Full house. What's your grandma's number? 348 00:32:55,970 --> 00:32:59,640 Poker! You're screwed. 349 00:33:03,310 --> 00:33:04,426 You may be the head of the Council, 350 00:33:04,510 --> 00:33:06,496 but you're a card sucker. Another round? 351 00:33:06,580 --> 00:33:10,290 Peace be with you. - We're not interested, thank you. 352 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:15,560 I have books, cassettes... - How much is a cassette? 353 00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,550 Free. - Give me one. 354 00:33:21,460 --> 00:33:26,290 On Side A you have Becoming a Believer - Intro. Side B... 355 00:33:27,470 --> 00:33:32,180 is the same. You have to use it three times a day for it to work. 356 00:33:34,170 --> 00:33:35,759 I wish you a full recovery. 357 00:33:55,690 --> 00:34:00,770 Give him pain medication and no food. 358 00:34:02,130 --> 00:34:05,250 What about the dressing? - Don't touch it. 359 00:34:05,470 --> 00:34:08,830 It took me 6 hours to reconstruct his face, 360 00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:12,590 and when I got to the mouth, I had no more skin left. 361 00:34:14,250 --> 00:34:16,596 But finally you found skin for the mouth. 362 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:18,270 Where did you take it from? 363 00:34:18,550 --> 00:34:23,830 From his rectum. He'll have a moustache just like Arafat. 364 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:25,732 Does he have any family? 365 00:34:26,420 --> 00:34:29,420 We called his home, but there is no answer. 366 00:34:29,890 --> 00:34:31,946 We must find someone to talk to him 367 00:34:32,030 --> 00:34:36,230 otherwise he'll be depressed and will never recover. 368 00:34:40,610 --> 00:34:44,720 Israelis... always depressed... 369 00:35:07,130 --> 00:35:10,280 Don't worry, bro, someone is watching over you. 370 00:35:10,700 --> 00:35:13,450 How do we know there's an afterlife? 371 00:35:13,670 --> 00:35:20,670 In the Torah it says that man's purpose is to preserve the soul. 372 00:35:21,010 --> 00:35:25,850 Today even secular; atheists people, 373 00:35:26,380 --> 00:35:29,580 say that there is an afterlife. 374 00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:36,720 The Talmud says: The born are to die, and the dead are to live. 375 00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,160 You must believe in god! 376 00:35:46,300 --> 00:35:50,180 Leon... Leon... 377 00:35:51,610 --> 00:35:54,920 They're releasing us. I'm going home. 378 00:35:55,210 --> 00:35:59,920 Bibi... you're a charming boy. 379 00:36:00,180 --> 00:36:01,620 So are you, Leon. 380 00:36:02,850 --> 00:36:04,733 Bibi, come on, we're going home. 381 00:36:04,860 --> 00:36:06,806 Check that we haven't left anything behind. 382 00:36:06,890 --> 00:36:08,320 Bibi, help your mother. 383 00:36:09,330 --> 00:36:12,880 Is the pillow ours? - No. -Doesn't matter! Take it! 384 00:36:16,530 --> 00:36:19,170 Come on! - I'm coming! 385 00:36:20,100 --> 00:36:25,300 Sima! Sima! 386 00:36:27,410 --> 00:36:31,010 Is she inside? - It's dark, I can't see anything. 387 00:37:23,940 --> 00:37:26,090 I hit him right in the bulls eye. 388 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:29,440 Police! Open up! 389 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:31,360 Hide, it's a trick. 390 00:37:41,390 --> 00:37:43,220 In here. 391 00:37:54,370 --> 00:37:56,200 Sima Vaknin... 392 00:37:59,500 --> 00:38:03,180 Yes. -I'm speaking on behalf of Israeli police. 393 00:38:03,980 --> 00:38:07,090 We require you immediate presence outside. 394 00:38:07,550 --> 00:38:08,796 What have I done? 395 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:12,470 I didn't say you did anything!! 396 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,990 But for the sake of public order, it's best you go out 397 00:38:25,130 --> 00:38:28,895 and speak to the crowd, otherwise they'll ruin all the pavements. 398 00:38:30,330 --> 00:38:35,360 Sima! Sima! 399 00:38:35,610 --> 00:38:39,520 Sima! Sima! 400 00:38:40,010 --> 00:38:43,920 I'm not going outside. If they want to see me, 401 00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:45,316 Let them come inside. 402 00:38:45,550 --> 00:38:48,636 There is never any parking in my street, and my Yemenite neighbor 403 00:38:48,720 --> 00:38:50,936 is a parking supervisor who writes me a ticket every day. 404 00:38:51,020 --> 00:38:53,306 I keep explaining that it's not my fault that there's no parking, 405 00:38:53,390 --> 00:38:55,576 But he doesn't care. Why? Cause he's Yemenite. 406 00:38:55,660 --> 00:38:58,416 What kind of culture have these people brought us? 407 00:38:58,500 --> 00:39:00,216 Only spicy food and folk dancing. 408 00:39:00,300 --> 00:39:03,536 Please, Sima, can you make a garbage truck run him over? 409 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:08,400 Six girls I've already married off, but the last one, Suzy, 410 00:39:08,540 --> 00:39:11,530 is 40 years old. Not only doesn't she get married, 411 00:39:11,710 --> 00:39:14,700 she's going out with a Druse officer. A year ago 412 00:39:14,810 --> 00:39:18,266 she became addicted to Druse olives, so I gave her an enema, 413 00:39:18,350 --> 00:39:19,996 and she got addicted to enemas, 414 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,006 all because of this Druse officer. 415 00:39:22,090 --> 00:39:26,400 What is a Druse? An Arab disguised as a cowboy. 416 00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,590 My problem is composed of two parts. 417 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,320 One, I'd like my wife to die. 418 00:39:38,170 --> 00:39:44,930 And two, this will be harder for you, that her mother also dies. 419 00:39:45,780 --> 00:39:48,810 And if possible, make her die in agony. 420 00:39:54,250 --> 00:39:55,400 What is this? 421 00:39:55,590 --> 00:40:01,580 Sima, I did some calculations. If we take 50 shekel a head, 422 00:40:02,330 --> 00:40:04,920 and we do 20 heads an hour... 423 00:40:05,100 --> 00:40:08,100 You can stop calculating. Three loonies were enough. 424 00:40:10,770 --> 00:40:14,120 Sima, we have a financial problem with the renovation. 425 00:40:14,340 --> 00:40:17,610 The Thai workers only hunt cats, 426 00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:22,280 so I brought Romanians, but they steal the cement. 427 00:40:22,610 --> 00:40:26,290 Then bring Arabs. -Give me more money, I'll bring Arabs. 428 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:30,590 I don't have money. - That's why I'm calculating. 429 00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,310 All you have to do is bless the people. 430 00:40:35,860 --> 00:40:39,170 Bless, curse, whatever they want. 431 00:40:41,530 --> 00:40:44,760 What... am I a witch? - So it seems. 432 00:40:48,410 --> 00:40:51,800 Are you crazy? Julia, say something. 433 00:40:51,980 --> 00:40:53,456 Why are you sitting as silent as a fish? 434 00:40:53,540 --> 00:40:56,660 They're right. - Right? -Have you also gone crazy? 435 00:40:56,810 --> 00:41:01,760 Sima, you need money for the renovation? -Sure. 436 00:41:01,890 --> 00:41:04,280 And what about a man? - What about it? 437 00:41:04,460 --> 00:41:09,010 The entire country is standing in line. - You just have to pick one. 438 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:14,000 But it's a shame. - Why a sham? You have powers. 439 00:41:14,170 --> 00:41:16,520 No powers, it's all a hoax. 440 00:41:16,870 --> 00:41:21,020 Sima, you are a witch. 441 00:41:21,210 --> 00:41:22,600 Who's a witch? 442 00:41:27,950 --> 00:41:30,980 Here she is. Ask her yourself. 443 00:41:32,450 --> 00:41:34,410 Is it true that you're a witch? 444 00:41:36,090 --> 00:41:39,360 Why did you lie to me? - Grandma, tell him! 445 00:41:42,430 --> 00:41:44,380 Are you a witch or not? 446 00:41:57,210 --> 00:41:59,010 I'm a witch. 447 00:42:00,610 --> 00:42:02,410 Come on, you're the goalie. 448 00:42:02,950 --> 00:42:07,070 Sima Vaknin is a witch! Sima Vaknin is a witch! 449 00:44:02,670 --> 00:44:04,700 Sima Vaknin is a witch! 450 00:44:04,900 --> 00:44:07,020 Sima Vaknin is a witch! 451 00:44:07,140 --> 00:44:09,050 Come back here! 452 00:44:09,240 --> 00:44:11,230 Give me back my bike! 453 00:44:11,940 --> 00:44:18,130 One flat tire and you get 20 years inside! 454 00:44:18,550 --> 00:44:20,196 Don't push! -Hold your money in your right hands. 455 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:25,520 Ilya, hold it for him! Nikolai, pour it now! Good. 456 00:44:25,690 --> 00:44:28,250 Next! - Avi, there isn't enough cement. 457 00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:29,840 It'll be OK. Next! 458 00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:33,470 What about the baby? - He's less than a year old. 459 00:44:33,630 --> 00:44:35,246 Doesn't matter, pay the full price. 460 00:44:35,330 --> 00:44:39,250 Avi, in Romania me build many houses. This won't hold up. 461 00:44:39,370 --> 00:44:41,526 This isn't Romania, Chauchescu, this is Israel. 462 00:44:41,610 --> 00:44:43,286 Then I go. - Go fuck yourself. 463 00:44:43,370 --> 00:44:46,130 Thank you, Mrs, you'll get a receipt inside. 464 00:44:46,340 --> 00:44:49,460 Hold up the money in the air! 465 00:44:49,650 --> 00:44:52,760 A week after I gave birth, I became depressed. -Why? 466 00:44:53,050 --> 00:44:56,436 Municipal taxes are killing me! - Income tax, aren't they fascists? 467 00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:58,815 Nazis, I'm saying that as a contractor. 468 00:44:58,990 --> 00:45:01,870 An unwed mother pays VAT but not a lesbian. 469 00:45:02,090 --> 00:45:03,810 I want to be a model. 470 00:45:04,090 --> 00:45:05,810 You'll be a model. 471 00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,516 For example, if I were the Governor of the Bank... 472 00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:12,350 I like clams, skiing, and helping underprivileged children. 473 00:45:12,540 --> 00:45:14,326 I'd dry up the Dead Sea immediately. 474 00:45:14,410 --> 00:45:16,080 But I don't have a bicycle. 475 00:45:16,340 --> 00:45:18,620 Besides, my father beats me! 476 00:45:20,740 --> 00:45:23,500 Hit him back! - My daughter attacked me! 477 00:45:23,750 --> 00:45:25,750 A person shouldn't hold it all in. 478 00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:29,190 So in the meantime I hit her. - But only on Saturdays. 479 00:45:29,450 --> 00:45:32,836 Small quantities aren't dangerous. - As the Bank Governor... 480 00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,720 As a contractor... - As a future model... 481 00:45:35,890 --> 00:45:37,538 I don't take off my panties. 482 00:45:37,630 --> 00:45:39,510 Next! 483 00:45:40,130 --> 00:45:43,601 Most importantly, drink a lot of water, cause it's very hot. 484 00:45:57,580 --> 00:46:00,020 6,000 shekel in one day. 485 00:46:13,100 --> 00:46:14,770 What's the matter with you? 486 00:46:14,930 --> 00:46:17,650 Sima, you're a start up. 487 00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:23,150 A what? - A start up. 488 00:46:27,980 --> 00:46:30,370 If we work 1 0 hours a day... 489 00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:33,566 I won't work more than 6 hours a day. - But 1 0 hours is average. 490 00:46:33,650 --> 00:46:36,366 I'll throw in a lunch break. - You can rest during the break. 491 00:46:36,450 --> 00:46:39,536 Times 6 days a week. -I have to go to the market on Friday. 492 00:46:39,620 --> 00:46:41,546 Everything will be delivered, don't you get it? 493 00:46:41,630 --> 00:46:45,146 Even in Europe they work 5 days. - But we're in Asia, not Europe. 494 00:46:45,230 --> 00:46:49,750 Only in sports we're European, because the Arabs don't play fair. 495 00:46:49,930 --> 00:46:53,290 No work on Friday, and no more than 6 hours a day. 496 00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:55,756 Sima, listen to them. - Mom, within a month 497 00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,626 every kid in Israel will know who Sima Vaknin is. 498 00:46:57,710 --> 00:47:00,056 You'll have everything: money, power, honor. 499 00:47:00,140 --> 00:47:02,140 Enough, what have you done to me? 500 00:47:02,250 --> 00:47:06,030 What have you done to me! What have you done to me! 501 00:47:06,380 --> 00:47:08,500 Mother, what's the matter? Mother? 502 00:47:12,090 --> 00:47:16,530 Sima, this is the most beautiful moment of your life. 503 00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:21,310 What kind of life? 504 00:47:22,330 --> 00:47:25,400 For forty years my husband Asher lived here with me, 505 00:47:26,070 --> 00:47:27,660 we had no money... 506 00:47:28,770 --> 00:47:33,400 but I loved him. Now... 507 00:47:33,540 --> 00:47:37,660 there's a hole here, like the hole I have inside my heart... 508 00:47:39,380 --> 00:47:44,010 For forty years I wanted Asher to take me 509 00:47:44,150 --> 00:47:47,070 to Palma de Majorca, to sit on the beach, 510 00:47:47,190 --> 00:47:49,390 to watch the sunset quietly... 511 00:47:51,060 --> 00:47:54,420 but one day... he was gone, 512 00:47:55,730 --> 00:47:58,290 left me all alone here, 513 00:47:59,140 --> 00:48:02,290 and you, what have you made me into, a witch? 514 00:48:03,240 --> 00:48:04,960 Who'll want a witch? 515 00:48:06,110 --> 00:48:08,580 Now for sure I'll be alone forever. 516 00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:11,750 Mom, you'll work a few months, 517 00:48:12,050 --> 00:48:15,236 you'll meet someone nice, we'll have money to renovate... 518 00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:16,670 And then you'll stop. 519 00:48:17,020 --> 00:48:19,197 And everything will return to normal. 520 00:48:20,060 --> 00:48:23,290 Nothing will return to normal. 521 00:48:26,460 --> 00:48:28,716 How much do we need to renovate? 60,000? 522 00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:30,616 I'll work two weeks and that's it. 523 00:48:30,700 --> 00:48:32,610 Just a minute, Sima. 524 00:48:34,940 --> 00:48:38,610 At the beginning we needed 60,000, but then the crowds 525 00:48:38,780 --> 00:48:41,530 smashed the foundations, ruined the surface, 526 00:48:41,650 --> 00:48:44,796 and peed so much that they created an ecological disaster. 527 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:47,600 So we have to build a new bathroom for them, 528 00:48:47,780 --> 00:48:51,540 so if you work a year it may just be enough. 529 00:48:55,060 --> 00:48:57,940 I'll work two months. - We have a deal. 530 00:49:03,530 --> 00:49:07,240 This is for you. Go to sleep and be here at 6 AM. 531 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:09,518 Tomorrow we'll bring them in groups. 532 00:49:18,380 --> 00:49:24,540 Now, the championship battle for igniting farts through corduroy. 533 00:49:43,970 --> 00:49:46,850 Shpitz, you were great. - I'm always great. 534 00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:48,596 How were the rating? - I don't know, 535 00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:51,680 but the part with the fat woman. - Shut up a second. 536 00:49:51,780 --> 00:49:55,330 Shpitz, you were great. - I'm always great. 537 00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:59,040 The part with the fat woman. - What's my rating? 538 00:49:59,620 --> 00:50:00,850 1 2.5%. 539 00:50:13,300 --> 00:50:15,770 Shpitz, Alex called me. 540 00:50:19,380 --> 00:50:21,851 He's not signing you on for another season. 541 00:50:24,650 --> 00:50:27,736 He liked the show, but in the rating you are going down. 542 00:50:27,820 --> 00:50:28,770 I'm going down? 543 00:50:28,890 --> 00:50:32,400 Your researchers aren't bringing me items! 544 00:50:35,260 --> 00:50:39,380 What's so difficult about leafing through the newspaper 545 00:50:39,500 --> 00:50:41,770 until you find a Moroccan pensioner 546 00:50:41,900 --> 00:50:45,650 who curses her neighbors. - Calm down, Shpitz. 547 00:50:57,950 --> 00:50:59,300 Here he is. 548 00:51:00,450 --> 00:51:03,250 Oh my God! Mazal! 549 00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:05,950 Leon? - Where's my son? 550 00:51:08,020 --> 00:51:09,780 Here... 551 00:51:11,260 --> 00:51:13,731 In the paper he looks like a handsome guy. 552 00:51:15,130 --> 00:51:20,080 If we came into the world to Live then why do we die, 553 00:51:20,770 --> 00:51:24,080 and if we came to die, why do we live? 554 00:51:25,210 --> 00:51:28,760 Dov... How are you? 555 00:51:30,810 --> 00:51:32,410 Thank God. 556 00:51:38,790 --> 00:51:42,230 Stand in foursomes. - Foursomes you dumbie! 557 00:51:45,860 --> 00:51:47,900 Go on, finish the welding. 558 00:51:48,060 --> 00:51:49,986 Avi, I thing you have to add reinforcement. 559 00:51:50,070 --> 00:51:53,188 Don't think, Sima blessed it so we don't need a thing. 560 00:51:58,340 --> 00:52:00,856 Hey, renovator, is this Sima Vaknin's house? 561 00:52:00,940 --> 00:52:02,796 Firstly, I'm not a renovator but a contractor. 562 00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:05,566 Secondly, stand in line. A group enters every 6 minutes. 563 00:52:05,650 --> 00:52:08,610 Thirdly, with that nose up you won't go in. 564 00:52:09,590 --> 00:52:12,340 Avi, don't do Jewish work, we already know 565 00:52:12,460 --> 00:52:15,450 that you don't know how to build. - Haled. -Mahmud. 566 00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:17,230 Hamid, doesn't matter! 567 00:52:17,460 --> 00:52:20,146 Continue working before you also get kicked back to Romania, 568 00:52:20,230 --> 00:52:23,348 where no one gives a damn about your terror attacks... 569 00:52:24,170 --> 00:52:25,400 Mr. Contractor... 570 00:52:26,770 --> 00:52:30,760 You didn't understand me... - Because you didn't explain. 571 00:52:30,910 --> 00:52:32,140 Please go in. 572 00:52:34,810 --> 00:52:36,693 He just wants to ask a question! 573 00:52:37,810 --> 00:52:38,966 What's your problem! 574 00:52:39,050 --> 00:52:42,640 Light curses - Medium curses. - Horrible curses 575 00:52:42,820 --> 00:52:46,370 30 curses on policemen, soccer referees and bible teachers, 576 00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:49,080 22 requests for Norwegian passports, 577 00:52:49,230 --> 00:52:51,870 2 want to be astronauts, and one woman asked 578 00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,196 that Uri Levy grow his moustache back. 579 00:52:54,430 --> 00:52:57,372 I'm going to wash up. You can continue on your own. 580 00:52:57,470 --> 00:53:01,060 Grandma... you washed an hour ago. 581 00:53:02,570 --> 00:53:04,956 Bibi, I just don't have any more strength left in me. 582 00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:08,430 Two more groups and you have a break. -OK. 583 00:53:09,250 --> 00:53:11,166 Make sure you write everything down. 584 00:53:11,250 --> 00:53:13,096 The minute we have enough for the renovation 585 00:53:13,180 --> 00:53:15,090 I'm closing down this circus. 586 00:53:15,590 --> 00:53:17,100 Next group! 587 00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:30,790 Why is he alone? - He paid for 1 0 groups. 588 00:53:31,300 --> 00:53:33,530 Is there anything to eat? - Not now. 589 00:53:40,610 --> 00:53:42,120 What's the problem? 590 00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:44,470 It's personal. - Do you mind leaving? 591 00:53:44,750 --> 00:53:46,280 You make my grandma laugh. 592 00:53:50,220 --> 00:53:52,100 Take off the mask. 593 00:53:54,490 --> 00:53:57,370 Don't be shy, sweetie. 594 00:53:59,230 --> 00:54:02,820 If you don't take off the mask, there are barriers between us. 595 00:54:02,970 --> 00:54:05,970 Whatever blessing I use won't reach its destination. 596 00:54:15,610 --> 00:54:18,450 Shpitz? - It's you. 597 00:54:18,650 --> 00:54:21,370 What else do you need? - Rating. 598 00:54:21,590 --> 00:54:24,296 I don't know what to do. Please, Sima, help me. 599 00:54:24,620 --> 00:54:27,236 I'll give you anything you ask for, anything. Just help me. 600 00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:33,190 Remember, listeners, anyone looking for love Call in right now. 601 00:54:35,970 --> 00:54:41,800 Tell me, you in the media, you're all friends. Right? -Yes. 602 00:54:42,310 --> 00:54:45,460 Can you, just once, get me to talk on the radio? 603 00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:48,880 You want a radio show? - Who? 604 00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,551 Give her a show, and make it a daily show. 605 00:55:03,460 --> 00:55:06,370 Hello everyone, this is Sima Vaknin 606 00:55:06,530 --> 00:55:09,490 in a new matchmaking program, call in 607 00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:12,056 and I promise you that the line won't be busy. 608 00:55:12,140 --> 00:55:15,840 So now, lets start with the first caller. 609 00:55:17,210 --> 00:55:20,010 Hello? - Hi Sima, this is Batia from Eilat. 610 00:55:20,180 --> 00:55:21,330 Hi Batia. 611 00:55:21,540 --> 00:55:25,170 I think homosexuals threaten our existence. 612 00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:29,106 Are you looking for a match or do you want to talk politics? 613 00:55:29,190 --> 00:55:31,570 My husband claims that wife swapping 614 00:55:31,790 --> 00:55:33,536 is the secret of a successful marriage. 615 00:55:33,620 --> 00:55:36,476 So if he got me pregnant, I have to have an abortion? 616 00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:40,030 It's wife swapping, he just doesn't understand! 617 00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:43,950 Who got you pregnant? - We don't know. 618 00:55:44,170 --> 00:55:45,440 Why not? 619 00:55:45,570 --> 00:55:49,400 Because there was wife swapping, but there was no penetration, 620 00:55:49,540 --> 00:55:54,370 I mean there was penetration, but not exactly... by a penis. 621 00:55:54,780 --> 00:55:56,580 So what should I do, Sima? 622 00:55:56,950 --> 00:55:58,820 Go to sleep... alone. 623 00:55:59,550 --> 00:56:01,940 Sima, you're the greatest! 624 00:56:02,420 --> 00:56:07,650 Dear Sima... -Money in your right hands, up high, high. 625 00:56:07,820 --> 00:56:11,180 I've been in love with you since Begin was Prime Minister. 626 00:56:11,660 --> 00:56:14,896 I want to get married. - You've come to the right place. 627 00:56:15,130 --> 00:56:18,040 What's the problem? - Economically, it's bad. 628 00:56:19,340 --> 00:56:23,490 Sima, this is my son Eviatar. He's gifted. 629 00:56:23,770 --> 00:56:25,490 What's the problem? 630 00:56:25,810 --> 00:56:30,880 You go out with a girl and find out that she's addicted to Druze olives. - What? 631 00:56:31,150 --> 00:56:32,500 Tell her, sweetie. 632 00:56:33,850 --> 00:56:37,970 It happened when I was a soldier, I took a bus to the north... 633 00:56:38,290 --> 00:56:40,976 So you, as her future husband, have to drive her north... 634 00:56:41,060 --> 00:56:43,780 On the way, a sexy paratrooper sat next to me. 635 00:56:43,930 --> 00:56:44,880 Well... 636 00:56:45,830 --> 00:56:46,860 Don't be shy. 637 00:56:47,230 --> 00:56:50,116 An hour later, she starts crying that she's constipated 638 00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:51,848 because of the Druse olives. 639 00:56:52,900 --> 00:56:56,780 I tightened my legs... - So she needed an enema. 640 00:56:56,940 --> 00:56:59,610 Suddenly the driver pressed the breaks... 641 00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:02,600 Two days later you crash into someone... 642 00:57:02,780 --> 00:57:05,370 Puff, I came. 643 00:57:05,620 --> 00:57:07,010 At your own expense. 644 00:57:07,250 --> 00:57:10,290 You what? - I came, Blessed be God. 645 00:57:11,390 --> 00:57:13,743 Maybe you should come back another time. 646 00:57:13,890 --> 00:57:18,600 No, I'll tell you... Sima. My son has... 647 00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:23,680 the smallest penis in his class. - Want to see? 648 00:57:26,100 --> 00:57:27,580 How can she see it? 649 00:57:27,900 --> 00:57:29,260 Enough, Dad, enough... 650 00:58:46,580 --> 00:58:48,730 Sima Vaknin, Witch. 651 00:58:49,150 --> 00:58:53,750 Sima Vaknin - Witch - Ltd. 652 00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:57,240 What a star! - Well done, Sima! 653 00:58:57,690 --> 00:59:00,770 What a wonderful voice you have! 654 00:59:00,930 --> 00:59:02,970 You were always my best friend. 655 00:59:03,470 --> 00:59:05,860 What are you talking about? 656 00:59:05,970 --> 00:59:07,160 We'll explain. 657 00:59:09,710 --> 00:59:13,490 Hello. -These are Roman and Yehezkel from the Council. 658 00:59:13,810 --> 00:59:18,520 Hello Sima. I'm Roman from the Council and this is... 659 00:59:18,650 --> 00:59:20,600 Yehezkel, pleased to meet you. 660 00:59:21,050 --> 00:59:22,240 What do you want? 661 00:59:22,990 --> 00:59:26,420 Can we speak in private? - Sure, come into the kitchen. 662 00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:32,160 Please sit down. 663 00:59:34,560 --> 00:59:35,880 Sima... 664 00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:39,256 Bibi, brush your teeth and go to bed. 665 00:59:39,340 --> 00:59:41,010 Why? Come here, sweetie. 666 00:59:43,340 --> 00:59:45,380 Sima, Roman and Yehezkel... 667 00:59:46,210 --> 00:59:47,296 Etty, give us a moment. 668 00:59:47,380 --> 00:59:50,028 She's my mother and I have a right to be here. 669 00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:52,720 Sima, Roman... 670 00:59:53,650 --> 00:59:56,480 This is impossible. - Come on in, sit down. 671 01:00:09,300 --> 01:00:10,490 Sima... 672 01:00:13,740 --> 01:00:15,850 Roman and Yehezkel have orchards... 673 01:00:16,010 --> 01:00:17,760 Vanunu, let me... 674 01:00:19,910 --> 01:00:23,700 In a week, elections will be held for the head of the Council. 675 01:00:24,250 --> 01:00:28,210 You of all people know how important it is... 676 01:00:28,420 --> 01:00:31,236 that the council head take care of all the... -interests... 677 01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:33,760 of everyone in this town. 678 01:00:34,460 --> 01:00:36,076 So what do you want with me? 679 01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:39,690 We want you to tell everyone to vote for us in the elections. 680 01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:48,920 Sima, I'm elected, you become an honored resident. 681 01:00:49,170 --> 01:00:51,240 We'll hold... - A ceremony. 682 01:00:51,410 --> 01:00:53,400 You'll receive the town keys. 683 01:00:53,580 --> 01:00:57,010 We'll develop, we'll grow, we'll have more... 684 01:00:57,180 --> 01:01:01,010 - Issues... -to take care of... - That means more positions, 685 01:01:01,250 --> 01:01:05,880 more offices... -It means that I'm number three in their party. 686 01:01:06,020 --> 01:01:08,820 You? In their party? You're moving to Tel Aviv. 687 01:01:08,990 --> 01:01:13,270 Sima, if I'm elected, we'll stay here forever. 688 01:01:14,500 --> 01:01:17,090 Mother, that's what you've always wanted. 689 01:01:17,300 --> 01:01:18,830 Just bring them the votes. 690 01:01:22,070 --> 01:01:23,060 How? 691 01:01:30,980 --> 01:01:37,290 Sima, you have both charisma and a great radio show. 692 01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:41,150 You have to bring people to talk about problems, 693 01:01:41,420 --> 01:01:46,290 and say on the air that here in... - Givat Moshe. 694 01:01:46,460 --> 01:01:52,300 I, Roman Koganovitch am going to make a change! Bitch! 695 01:01:52,470 --> 01:01:57,620 That is the only way to defeat the current Council head. 696 01:01:58,240 --> 01:02:01,426 Since his wife died, the corrupt Council head has lost his mind. 697 01:02:01,510 --> 01:02:03,596 Even the permit he approved for your renovation... 698 01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:06,430 That doesn't matter... 699 01:02:06,680 --> 01:02:09,830 Sima, what do you say? 700 01:02:12,490 --> 01:02:14,370 I know nothing about politics. 701 01:02:17,230 --> 01:02:19,790 Fucking shit! (in Russian) 702 01:02:20,060 --> 01:02:21,884 Now tell her about the orchard. 703 01:02:35,650 --> 01:02:41,080 Sima... I got a 5 acre orchard. 704 01:02:41,820 --> 01:02:44,860 The minute I'm elected, I get building permits. 705 01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:51,070 I'll build you a house, and fill it with grandchildren. 706 01:02:52,930 --> 01:02:57,760 We'll stay together forever and become an empire. 707 01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:08,160 Alright. 708 01:03:56,490 --> 01:03:59,690 In our Torah we don't believe in curses. 709 01:04:00,030 --> 01:04:04,630 The Book of Exodus explicitly states that a witch shall not live. 710 01:04:04,970 --> 01:04:10,640 So according to the Torah, witches just don't exist, but... 711 01:04:12,740 --> 01:04:18,980 to be on the safe side, this bottle will protect you. 712 01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:25,022 Put it in your pocket, take it with you everywhere, 713 01:04:25,190 --> 01:04:27,602 and God willing, everything will be fine. 714 01:04:27,890 --> 01:04:29,290 Thank you, Rabbi. 715 01:04:29,530 --> 01:04:32,920 No need. It'll be 600 plus VAT. 716 01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:35,480 Thank you, Rabbi. 717 01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:44,120 Good evening, this is Sima Vaknin. 718 01:04:44,340 --> 01:04:46,250 Tonight we won't be matchmaking. 719 01:04:46,440 --> 01:04:48,320 We have an urgent issue. 720 01:04:48,510 --> 01:04:51,393 The elections for the Town Council of Givat Moshe. 721 01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:54,630 People who want to talk about problems they have 722 01:04:54,780 --> 01:04:56,536 are invited to come to the studio. 723 01:04:56,620 --> 01:05:01,770 All their problems will be easily solved by the new Council head... 724 01:05:02,060 --> 01:05:07,010 Roman Koganovitch, who by the way, 725 01:05:07,260 --> 01:05:10,650 is a neighbor of mine, and is a wonderful fellow, 726 01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:12,389 and I warmly recommend him. 727 01:05:12,740 --> 01:05:17,570 Now, hello to... - Dr, Vadim Tarkovsky 728 01:05:17,970 --> 01:05:21,570 and Yulia Moshayov. - Hello Sima. -Hello. 729 01:05:22,010 --> 01:05:25,690 Dr. Vadim, what do you think is the problem? 730 01:05:26,850 --> 01:05:30,210 The problem is that I don't understand the Arab conflict. 731 01:05:30,590 --> 01:05:32,236 Each time elections are held, 732 01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:34,106 people are told that there is a conflict. 733 01:05:34,190 --> 01:05:36,340 And I ask you: What conflict? 734 01:05:36,560 --> 01:05:38,680 We are the chosen people, right? 735 01:05:39,300 --> 01:05:42,840 In 76, we brought a plane load of people from Entebbe 736 01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:46,880 without any casualties, except for one, but for that 737 01:05:47,340 --> 01:05:50,130 his brother, got to be Prime Minister. 738 01:05:50,340 --> 01:05:52,340 So what do the Arabs want from us? 739 01:05:56,450 --> 01:06:00,150 Do you agree with him? - No, absolutely not. 740 01:06:00,420 --> 01:06:04,650 The Thais are much worse. All the problems began 741 01:06:04,820 --> 01:06:07,376 when they were brought here. They are hungry... 742 01:06:07,460 --> 01:06:09,343 Just a moment... - Let me finish! 743 01:06:10,490 --> 01:06:14,120 I work in the hospital, and I saw a man 744 01:06:14,360 --> 01:06:16,160 who was hunted down by Thais. 745 01:06:16,570 --> 01:06:19,386 I think you're exaggerating. - That's because you don't read. 746 01:06:19,470 --> 01:06:23,590 I read on the Internet that in countries that grow coconuts, 747 01:06:23,770 --> 01:06:27,560 every year 200 people are hit and killed by falling coconuts. 748 01:06:27,740 --> 01:06:29,996 And here we don't have that problem at all. 749 01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:31,845 So why say there's a conflict? 750 01:06:32,050 --> 01:06:34,320 We have 5 borders here, right? Right. 751 01:06:34,480 --> 01:06:37,000 The Arabs: wake them up in the morning, 752 01:06:37,190 --> 01:06:39,940 give their wives time to prepare pita bread, 753 01:06:40,120 --> 01:06:43,746 take them on buses across the borders to join their brothers. 754 01:06:43,830 --> 01:06:46,276 Why call it Transfer and drag the entire country 755 01:06:46,360 --> 01:06:48,125 into an electric connotations? 756 01:06:50,200 --> 01:06:53,186 Sergeant Pinto, the commander of the Givat Moshe police. 757 01:06:53,270 --> 01:06:55,800 You probably have a different point of view. 758 01:06:57,540 --> 01:07:00,290 Sure, our problem is women. 759 01:07:00,910 --> 01:07:03,140 Women? What did they do to you? 760 01:07:03,950 --> 01:07:07,340 Let's say there's a rapist... 761 01:07:08,580 --> 01:07:13,370 within one minute women will traumatize the entire country, 762 01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:19,440 and I say it's only a rapist, so what's the trauma? 763 01:07:21,060 --> 01:07:23,820 Let's take Nadia Komanescu for example. 764 01:07:24,200 --> 01:07:28,750 Didn't she fall off the bar in 1 984? She did. 765 01:07:30,340 --> 01:07:32,330 And Golda Meir, 766 01:07:32,910 --> 01:07:38,060 didn't she grow hair on her nose? She did. 767 01:07:39,380 --> 01:07:42,060 And Dana International... 768 01:07:42,750 --> 01:07:47,220 He - didn't fall with the trophy during the Eurovision contest? 769 01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:53,400 He did. So have you ever heard him complain? 770 01:07:55,770 --> 01:07:58,960 No, no... 771 01:07:59,170 --> 01:08:02,680 Our problem is the immigration from Russia. - Russia? 772 01:08:03,210 --> 01:08:07,720 There was no demographic reason to bring them here. 773 01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:12,670 Shpitz... she's eating us alive. 774 01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:16,390 We have to drive her back into her hole. -How? 775 01:08:19,890 --> 01:08:21,890 I have an idea. - What's your idea? 776 01:08:24,860 --> 01:08:26,530 What is your idea? 777 01:08:27,360 --> 01:08:30,910 I'll bring her to your program and you'll Shpitz (stab) her. 778 01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:37,960 Why did they bring the Russians? - Because of Ron Arad. 779 01:08:38,140 --> 01:08:39,260 Ron Arad the POW? 780 01:08:39,380 --> 01:08:41,156 They wanted to exchange the Russians for him. 781 01:08:41,240 --> 01:08:44,360 Why didn't they succeed? - Shimon Peres ruined it. 782 01:08:44,510 --> 01:08:46,340 They didn't call Lebanon back. 783 01:08:46,480 --> 01:08:50,006 Arabs are easily hurt, cause Peres's mother is an Arab. 784 01:08:50,090 --> 01:08:53,876 So we didn't get Ron Arad back and we're stuck with Russians. 785 01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:56,976 But now it will cost us too much to send them back to Russia. 786 01:08:57,060 --> 01:09:02,340 I'll add that not all Russian women are whores! 787 01:09:02,430 --> 01:09:04,786 He's right, and I'm saying it as a contractor. 788 01:09:04,870 --> 01:09:06,986 The same thing happened with the Ethiopians. 789 01:09:07,070 --> 01:09:08,630 What happened with them? 790 01:09:08,740 --> 01:09:13,330 Pollard had jaundice, and Shamir wanted an Olympic medal, 791 01:09:13,510 --> 01:09:15,396 so that's why he brought the Ethiopians. 792 01:09:15,480 --> 01:09:20,110 But it's irreversible damage, 793 01:09:20,220 --> 01:09:24,370 cause the blacks have a huge organ, 794 01:09:25,290 --> 01:09:27,526 and it's difficult to circumcise them. 795 01:09:32,230 --> 01:09:35,054 Our problem is that everyone's always in a hurry. 796 01:09:37,330 --> 01:09:40,683 If each person woke up in the morning and said to himself: 797 01:09:40,870 --> 01:09:45,580 Today I'll do everything a little bit slower, 798 01:09:47,410 --> 01:09:50,160 we would understand how much love we have 799 01:09:50,880 --> 01:09:53,030 and our hearts would open. 800 01:09:54,380 --> 01:09:56,370 If I love you, 801 01:10:01,490 --> 01:10:03,850 and you love me, 802 01:10:04,030 --> 01:10:07,540 and he loves us, and we love him, 803 01:10:07,760 --> 01:10:12,040 and everyone loves those who love them, and their friends, 804 01:10:13,700 --> 01:10:17,330 we won't be animals, we'll be human beings, 805 01:10:17,510 --> 01:10:19,726 and we'll have time for lots of things, 806 01:10:19,810 --> 01:10:26,160 even just to go out for a coffee. Want some? 807 01:10:29,890 --> 01:10:31,110 Where? 808 01:10:31,490 --> 01:10:34,036 It's two in the morning, I'm in the center of Damascus, 809 01:10:34,120 --> 01:10:35,776 I don't know a word of Arabic 810 01:10:35,860 --> 01:10:39,370 and these two cops check my driving license! 811 01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:50,360 We're closing. 812 01:10:52,940 --> 01:10:54,170 That's OK. 813 01:10:57,180 --> 01:11:00,730 Thanks, Leon. - Thank you. Sima. 814 01:11:01,950 --> 01:11:03,670 You're a charming person. 815 01:11:04,250 --> 01:11:07,133 Something good has happened to me since I met you. 816 01:11:07,220 --> 01:11:10,820 I've been having a difficult time with the elections. 817 01:11:10,960 --> 01:11:14,196 The opposition party is spreading lies that I'm corrupt. 818 01:11:15,460 --> 01:11:19,740 Sima... can I see you again? 819 01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:24,230 Leon, you're really a good person, 820 01:11:24,440 --> 01:11:27,190 but I'm committed to the other party, 821 01:11:27,710 --> 01:11:29,750 because they contacted me first, 822 01:11:29,950 --> 01:11:33,496 so if you're trying to befriend me because of the elections... 823 01:11:33,580 --> 01:11:34,780 Elections? 824 01:11:35,020 --> 01:11:37,250 You think that's what I want of you? 825 01:11:38,450 --> 01:11:39,970 So what do you want? 826 01:11:40,990 --> 01:11:44,060 Where is grandma? - I don't know. 827 01:11:44,190 --> 01:11:47,390 Liar! -It was late, so I came home by taxi. 828 01:11:47,530 --> 01:11:50,116 Bibi, tell the truth. - You have one last chance! 829 01:11:50,200 --> 01:11:51,150 Where is she? 830 01:11:57,610 --> 01:12:00,787 Hi, sweetie. Why are you awake so early in the morning? 831 01:12:02,010 --> 01:12:04,890 Where were you? - I went for a coffee. 832 01:12:05,410 --> 01:12:07,800 With who? - No one special. 833 01:12:07,980 --> 01:12:12,930 I just sat in the cafe and didn't notice the time. 834 01:12:13,520 --> 01:12:17,120 You, in a cafe? That's new. - What's the matter with you? 835 01:12:17,290 --> 01:12:19,976 All night without calling? - We were worried sick! 836 01:12:20,060 --> 01:12:22,376 Just don't say you were with Leon! - Leon's a great guy! 837 01:12:22,460 --> 01:12:23,696 Shut up and sit down! 838 01:12:23,870 --> 01:12:26,216 Avi, what's the matter with you? It was only coffee! 839 01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:29,486 All night? How much coffee? - You've made a big mistake. 840 01:12:29,570 --> 01:12:32,856 The man from the Council was nice to you and this is how you repay? 841 01:12:32,940 --> 01:12:34,170 Shame on you! 842 01:12:35,940 --> 01:12:38,740 They asked you to neutralize Leon, not help him. 843 01:12:38,850 --> 01:12:41,766 Instead you let him talk on the radio and meet him? 844 01:12:41,850 --> 01:12:43,366 What do you see in that idiot? 845 01:12:43,450 --> 01:12:45,520 Why idiot? You don't even know him. 846 01:12:45,690 --> 01:12:48,043 Enough, Sima! I can't hear this any more! 847 01:12:54,630 --> 01:12:57,270 Go wash up, you have to receive people! 848 01:13:43,470 --> 01:13:48,180 Hey, don't push! This isn't a market! Behave! 849 01:13:49,310 --> 01:13:52,780 Avi, the house will fall apart! 850 01:13:52,910 --> 01:13:56,830 Not now, Kadafi. - Avi, I can't work like this. 851 01:13:57,020 --> 01:13:59,770 If you don't like it, leave! I'll bring Poles! 852 01:14:00,020 --> 01:14:04,620 You bring Poles, bring Poles! You Kurd! 853 01:14:05,630 --> 01:14:08,190 Yes, I'll bring Poles! 854 01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:11,546 They smell horrible and you can't understand a word they say, 855 01:14:11,630 --> 01:14:13,670 but they aren't as thick as Arabs! 856 01:14:15,270 --> 01:14:18,150 Sergeant Pinto, how are you? - I'm fine, 857 01:14:18,610 --> 01:14:21,480 but I have some bad news. - What's the matter? 858 01:14:21,680 --> 01:14:24,056 This is an order to halt construction immediately. 859 01:14:24,140 --> 01:14:25,696 Why halt it? One hour and it's finished. 860 01:14:25,780 --> 01:14:27,496 I just got it from the Council. 861 01:14:27,580 --> 01:14:30,463 You've deviated from the construction percentages. 862 01:14:31,050 --> 01:14:33,090 Do have anything else to tell me? 863 01:14:33,290 --> 01:14:35,520 Actually I do. Give that to me. 864 01:14:40,890 --> 01:14:44,067 Ladies and gentlemen, Sima won't be receiving you today 865 01:14:44,230 --> 01:14:46,642 cause she doesn't have a business permit. 866 01:14:47,100 --> 01:14:48,420 Give me an ID card. 867 01:14:48,700 --> 01:14:52,380 You are requested to leave immediately. 868 01:14:54,570 --> 01:14:55,930 Not in the face! 869 01:14:59,250 --> 01:15:02,800 Are you crazy? We've finished the renovation! 870 01:15:04,020 --> 01:15:07,370 No wonder the police are illiterate! - Shame on you! 871 01:15:09,590 --> 01:15:10,943 Sima, what should I do? 872 01:15:12,930 --> 01:15:17,560 I'm just doing my job. Now chose someone and I'll arrest him. 873 01:15:18,530 --> 01:15:21,490 Great timing. Tell this parasite to leave us alone. 874 01:15:21,670 --> 01:15:22,906 It's not that simple. 875 01:15:23,140 --> 01:15:27,290 Are you responsible for this mess? - Sima... 876 01:15:28,540 --> 01:15:34,250 My dear, we asked you to neutralize Leon, 877 01:15:35,220 --> 01:15:37,810 and instead, what did you do? 878 01:15:39,590 --> 01:15:43,340 You gave him a present and let him talk on the radio 879 01:15:43,860 --> 01:15:48,450 and then you held hands at the cafe! 880 01:15:48,700 --> 01:15:50,610 Why did you do that to me? 881 01:15:53,270 --> 01:15:55,220 I didn't mean to. 882 01:15:55,700 --> 01:15:59,140 I was so close to winning and now you ruin everything! 883 01:16:03,610 --> 01:16:06,375 Someone has to come down to the station with me. 884 01:16:13,290 --> 01:16:17,560 You! -Leave her alone! - Vanunu - you. 885 01:16:19,390 --> 01:16:21,830 Mother... - Who is he? 886 01:16:22,260 --> 01:16:23,930 Are you Sima Vaknin? 887 01:16:24,870 --> 01:16:25,980 What do you want? 888 01:16:26,330 --> 01:16:29,010 I want you to appear live on Shpitz's show. 889 01:16:30,470 --> 01:16:31,700 Forget it! 890 01:16:31,870 --> 01:16:33,020 Come on, Vanunu. 891 01:16:34,740 --> 01:16:37,860 Take a toothbrush and come with me to the station. 892 01:16:41,380 --> 01:16:45,450 Pinto... give us a minute. 893 01:16:48,860 --> 01:16:51,420 You have more luck than brains. 894 01:16:52,790 --> 01:16:56,420 I'm going to forget the construction deviation 895 01:16:56,630 --> 01:17:01,150 and the police complaint will be radioactively cancelled. 896 01:17:01,330 --> 01:17:07,600 You will appear on TV and say on the air that 897 01:17:07,740 --> 01:17:10,050 everyone should vote for me. 898 01:17:10,210 --> 01:17:15,890 You'll say what a good person I am, tell about my music degree, 899 01:17:16,020 --> 01:17:21,090 my contribution to the town, my parents who died in Siberia, 900 01:17:21,220 --> 01:17:27,090 and my injury in the war. - Which war? 901 01:17:33,030 --> 01:17:36,790 It doesn't matter. Say "the war". 902 01:17:39,970 --> 01:17:43,760 Is that clear? 903 01:17:54,050 --> 01:17:55,450 Thank you. 904 01:17:58,460 --> 01:18:01,290 Thank you, thank you, I also love you. 905 01:18:05,030 --> 01:18:08,180 Thank you, thank you. 906 01:18:08,370 --> 01:18:09,520 Enough. 907 01:18:09,670 --> 01:18:11,070 Enough... 908 01:18:11,670 --> 01:18:13,580 Applause. 909 01:18:23,820 --> 01:18:30,010 Now, in her first television appearance, here's Sima Vaknin. 910 01:18:42,540 --> 01:18:44,290 You look wonderful. 911 01:18:44,540 --> 01:18:48,580 Sima! Sima! 912 01:18:50,210 --> 01:18:55,520 Sima, how are you tonight? - God bless, I'm fine. 913 01:18:56,120 --> 01:19:00,310 Elections will soon be held in my town, Givat Moshe, 914 01:19:00,420 --> 01:19:03,490 and I want people to know... - Just a second. 915 01:19:03,620 --> 01:19:06,576 But I must say it. - We'll get to Givat Moshe later, 916 01:19:06,660 --> 01:19:10,100 but first I want you to meet two dear people. 917 01:19:12,230 --> 01:19:18,230 Haim, you wrote us a letter saying you have a problem. 918 01:19:18,410 --> 01:19:22,110 Yes, your researcher called me. - No, no, no. 919 01:19:22,280 --> 01:19:26,870 You sent us a letter, and what did you write? 920 01:19:27,850 --> 01:19:32,050 That my daughter... That my daughter... 921 01:19:32,890 --> 01:19:35,800 That your daughter... is sick. 922 01:19:36,020 --> 01:19:38,460 Give her a hand, she's sick. 923 01:19:43,830 --> 01:19:47,430 Ortal, tell us what's wrong with you. 924 01:19:48,740 --> 01:19:52,440 Cancer. - Cancer, ladies and gentleman! 925 01:19:52,610 --> 01:19:54,240 Just like my sign! 926 01:19:58,780 --> 01:20:03,220 Haim, what can save your daughter's life? 927 01:20:03,350 --> 01:20:04,906 An operation in France. - An operation. 928 01:20:04,990 --> 01:20:06,736 How much does the operation cost? - 50,000 dollars. 929 01:20:06,820 --> 01:20:08,490 50,000 dollars! 930 01:20:08,760 --> 01:20:10,790 Applause! 931 01:20:14,460 --> 01:20:18,820 Haim and Ortal, tonight I'm giving you... 932 01:20:20,130 --> 01:20:22,778 Wait, what do you think I'm about to give you? 933 01:20:24,500 --> 01:20:25,980 50,000 dollars? 934 01:20:27,270 --> 01:20:31,660 I'm giving you a digital camera, with a zoom and charger, 935 01:20:32,010 --> 01:20:36,690 by Ikagutchi company, but only if you promise me 936 01:20:36,820 --> 01:20:39,703 that you'll film the entire vacation... operation. 937 01:20:44,920 --> 01:20:48,310 Just a minute! There's another present. 938 01:20:48,860 --> 01:20:53,140 Ortal, Paris is the city of love, and in the city of love 939 01:20:53,430 --> 01:20:59,300 you must look your best. Right? - Right. 940 01:20:59,710 --> 01:21:04,700 So the chain of saloons Rosh Pitzuz (Blow Your Head) 941 01:21:05,180 --> 01:21:10,090 is giving you a brand new wig that has never been shampooed! 942 01:21:28,270 --> 01:21:31,820 Now go to Paris, come back quickly, 943 01:21:31,940 --> 01:21:35,290 and we'll see the movie you made for me. -And... 944 01:21:36,010 --> 01:21:38,760 what will happen if... - Lf what, honey? 945 01:21:39,210 --> 01:21:41,850 Lf... I die during the operation? 946 01:21:42,020 --> 01:21:45,530 Ortal, you'll recover fully. That's for sure. 947 01:21:45,690 --> 01:21:49,200 Because now, only on my show, live, 948 01:21:49,490 --> 01:21:54,400 Sima Vaknin will cure your cancer. 949 01:22:10,940 --> 01:22:17,130 Sima... - Sima! Sima! 950 01:22:18,590 --> 01:22:22,860 Sima! Sima! 951 01:23:21,110 --> 01:23:24,950 Tonight we proved that Sima Vaknin is a liar. 952 01:23:25,220 --> 01:23:28,930 She has no powers, and therefore just ran off 953 01:23:29,090 --> 01:23:32,760 and didn't save our charming Ortal, 954 01:23:33,030 --> 01:23:36,016 who just minutes ago fainted in the middle of the show 955 01:23:36,100 --> 01:23:39,970 and was taken to hospital. I want to take this opportunity... 956 01:23:41,670 --> 01:23:46,300 Do you take sugar? - What's the different? 957 01:23:52,110 --> 01:23:54,340 I'll show that devil, 958 01:23:54,510 --> 01:23:57,040 I hope that horrible things happen to him... 959 01:24:05,460 --> 01:24:09,340 Sima, I've been in this business for years. 960 01:24:09,800 --> 01:24:14,430 That's the way it is. Some people thrive on hatred, 961 01:24:14,530 --> 01:24:16,001 but you aren't like that. 962 01:24:18,300 --> 01:24:20,060 You are pure gold. 963 01:24:22,310 --> 01:24:23,870 Look at me, Sima. 964 01:24:26,710 --> 01:24:28,030 I'm here. 965 01:24:29,320 --> 01:24:32,510 Come with me now. I have two tickets. 966 01:24:33,250 --> 01:24:36,560 We'll fly away to some beach, sit on the shore 967 01:24:36,990 --> 01:24:39,790 and watch the sunset, just the two of us. 968 01:24:40,590 --> 01:24:43,740 I've decided not to run for office 969 01:24:45,130 --> 01:24:48,680 because I want you to be with me forever. 970 01:24:51,540 --> 01:24:53,370 Now you must decide. 971 01:25:11,020 --> 01:25:13,046 You again! -What are you doing here? 972 01:25:13,130 --> 01:25:14,746 I just escorted her back from the studio. 973 01:25:14,830 --> 01:25:17,820 So now go. - We want to be left alone. -Sima! 974 01:25:17,930 --> 01:25:19,600 Leave, just go! 975 01:25:20,900 --> 01:25:23,570 Mom, listen to me. We're on your side. 976 01:25:24,400 --> 01:25:27,106 Mark my words, Sima, I'll screw that Pinocchio, 977 01:25:27,210 --> 01:25:29,160 I'll turn him into a Cinderella! 978 01:25:29,710 --> 01:25:33,590 Enough, it's over. It's all over. 979 01:25:33,710 --> 01:25:36,136 Sima, it's just the beginning. We straightened everything out. 980 01:25:36,220 --> 01:25:40,370 It's over. And now I'm going back to my normal life. 981 01:25:40,490 --> 01:25:42,976 Who wants coffee? - Mom, I know what they did to you, 982 01:25:43,060 --> 01:25:46,706 I saw it, but you can't leave it like this, you can't keep quiet. 983 01:25:46,790 --> 01:25:49,350 You have to go out and defend your name. 984 01:25:49,800 --> 01:25:52,416 I'm not going outside. - The people outside love you. 985 01:25:52,500 --> 01:25:54,016 Go to them. Don't be afraid. 986 01:25:54,100 --> 01:25:56,786 Talk to then confidently. You have nothing to lose. 987 01:25:56,870 --> 01:26:00,150 Sima... It's the honor of the entire family. 988 01:26:00,370 --> 01:26:01,600 And what will I say? 989 01:26:02,780 --> 01:26:04,090 Grandma... 990 01:26:06,980 --> 01:26:08,490 I wrote everything down. 991 01:26:29,370 --> 01:26:30,960 Quiet, please. 992 01:26:31,700 --> 01:26:35,410 We want to begin. Mrs. Vaknin will read a statement. 993 01:26:36,280 --> 01:26:38,163 I ask that no one interrupt her. 994 01:26:38,310 --> 01:26:41,140 I'll beat the fucking shit out of him! 995 01:26:41,610 --> 01:26:43,450 Mrs. Vaknin, please. 996 01:26:47,420 --> 01:26:51,890 Good evening, all the people of Israel. I, Sima Vaknin, 997 01:26:52,090 --> 01:26:55,480 the daughter of Machluf and Hadida Swisa, 998 01:26:55,900 --> 01:27:01,450 do hereby de... - Declare. -With a 'C', sweetheart. 999 01:27:02,570 --> 01:27:08,440 I, Sima Vaknin, herby declare that I am running for the... 1000 01:27:11,040 --> 01:27:13,099 office of Prime Minister of Israel. 1001 01:27:17,420 --> 01:27:19,530 Quiet! 1002 01:27:19,990 --> 01:27:22,140 Were are your manners? 1003 01:27:22,690 --> 01:27:24,720 Mrs. Vaknin, is this a joke? 1004 01:27:25,860 --> 01:27:29,820 Mrs. Vaknin, I'm Avnit Barzel Shakelit of News 3. 1005 01:27:30,130 --> 01:27:33,246 Are you founding a party or joining an existing party? 1006 01:27:33,330 --> 01:27:34,920 And do you have a platform? 1007 01:27:39,470 --> 01:27:43,470 Yes, I have a platform. - She has a platform! 1008 01:27:43,680 --> 01:27:47,870 I say that an Arab, any Arab living in our country. 1009 01:27:48,310 --> 01:27:52,430 The morning after I'm elected, the Arab will wake up, 1010 01:27:52,690 --> 01:27:58,200 take his children and walk out. Air-conditioned buses 1011 01:27:58,320 --> 01:28:00,906 will be waiting for him to take him wherever he wants... 1012 01:28:00,990 --> 01:28:01,980 Bravo! 1013 01:28:02,400 --> 01:28:04,812 That is the only way to end the conflict. 1014 01:28:05,470 --> 01:28:08,780 Bravo... 1015 01:28:08,970 --> 01:28:12,240 All the foreign workers from Thailand... 1016 01:28:23,180 --> 01:28:27,060 All the foreign workers from Thailand... 1017 01:28:29,390 --> 01:28:31,460 I can't read it... 1018 01:28:31,820 --> 01:28:35,260 To all the foreign workers from Thailand, 1019 01:28:35,530 --> 01:28:41,360 I'm announcing that anyone caught hunting in Israel, 1020 01:28:41,530 --> 01:28:45,570 we'll arrest them and give them to their friends 1021 01:28:45,740 --> 01:28:47,490 to eat them! 1022 01:28:58,350 --> 01:29:03,060 As for the Russians, I Bibi Anan do hereby declare 1023 01:29:03,620 --> 01:29:08,740 to any Russian who's listening: if you, as a Russian, 1024 01:29:08,930 --> 01:29:13,480 are not happy here, the State of Israel will be glad 1025 01:29:13,830 --> 01:29:16,300 to see you leave! 1026 01:29:19,910 --> 01:29:23,820 A Russian who still wants to stay in Israel, 1027 01:29:23,940 --> 01:29:27,220 note that as of the day I'm elected, 1028 01:29:27,350 --> 01:29:30,460 speaking Russian will be prohibited. -Oh my God! 1029 01:29:32,220 --> 01:29:33,940 Remember me, Sima? 1030 01:29:37,420 --> 01:29:39,250 Vasserman, your neighbor. 1031 01:29:41,330 --> 01:29:46,920 Vasserman, what happened to you? - Everything. 1032 01:29:49,340 --> 01:29:54,090 As for homos and lesbians, we won't abandon you. 1033 01:29:54,510 --> 01:30:00,300 After I'm elected, I promise to prepare a program 1034 01:30:00,610 --> 01:30:04,970 to cure all of you from this horrible disease. 1035 01:30:06,250 --> 01:30:07,890 Cancel the curse, Sima. 1036 01:30:08,820 --> 01:30:10,780 What curse are you talking about? 1037 01:30:13,660 --> 01:30:17,700 This is your last chance. Either cancel the curse 1038 01:30:17,960 --> 01:30:20,196 or you'll join your husband in heaven. 1039 01:30:20,570 --> 01:30:22,050 Decide now. 1040 01:30:22,300 --> 01:30:26,850 To all the wonderful people watching us now, I, Bibi Anan, 1041 01:30:27,070 --> 01:30:30,190 promise to lead Israel to a new future 1042 01:30:30,340 --> 01:30:33,700 30 days from the day I'm elected, 1043 01:30:33,950 --> 01:30:37,910 you won't recognize this country! 1044 01:30:38,850 --> 01:30:40,080 Bibi! 1045 01:30:40,690 --> 01:30:44,800 Bibi! Bibi! 1046 01:30:45,020 --> 01:30:50,220 Bibi! Bibi! 1047 01:31:07,210 --> 01:31:10,360 Vasserman, please, what do you want from me? 1048 01:31:13,750 --> 01:31:15,470 Say goodbye. 1049 01:31:24,000 --> 01:31:26,150 You have to decide right now, Sima. 1050 01:31:34,210 --> 01:31:35,800 I've decided. 1051 01:32:31,960 --> 01:32:33,520 What are you looking at?! 1052 01:32:59,090 --> 01:33:04,250 Thank you. - Why thank him, I asked for mint. 1053 01:33:04,600 --> 01:33:06,910 They probably don't have any mint here. 1054 01:33:07,730 --> 01:33:10,850 I hope a coconut falls on his head. 1055 01:33:11,240 --> 01:33:15,200 Sima, dear, careful. - Don't worry, sweetie, 1056 01:33:15,410 --> 01:33:17,560 it doesn't work when I'm abroad. 1057 01:33:25,950 --> 01:33:27,620 Who's turn is it now? 1058 01:33:31,620 --> 01:33:34,380 Now it's my turn. 1059 01:34:01,620 --> 01:34:05,580 Subtitles: Cinematyp Studios Ltd. 82890

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