Original subtitles

(birds chirping)

- My city friends think attitudes have changed

in places like the one where I grew up.

But the anger, the fear, it never went away.

(light music)

Everything here is just like I remember.

Even the wind feels the same.

But as familiar as it all is,

I see no signs of the boy who was riding horses,

chasing butterflies, picking blackberries.

Yet I still keep searching for that boy.

Hoping that he will somehow find his way home.

(car engine humming)

(door thudding)

(door clunking)

Hello.

- Well, you're thinner.

And your hair's shorter.

- I came as quick as I could.

- It's kinda sad that it took something like this

to get you to finally come home.

- I didn't.

I didn't come here to argue with you.

- Just to look down on us, right?

(light dramatic music)

(man shrieking)

- Don't look so sad, man.

Thanks for coming.

(Tyler sighs)

- So, um, what kind of, you know, what kind is it?

- You know all your cancers?

You talk to Mom?

- [Tyler] You traded in your Chevy.

- Tyco.

- How's Elaine?

- That was a few girlfriends ago.

- Oh, no.

I always thought she was the one.

- Yeah, kind of a drag, but whatever.

- No, thank you.

- You don't eat chicken now, either?

- I told you I'm a vegetarian.

- Exactly.

That's why I made that instead of steak.

(silverware clanking)

- You know chicken's not a vegetable, right?

- No wonder this country is so messed up.

- What's not eating animal flesh gotta do

with your precious little country?

- My precious little country?

- All right, you two.

Supposed to be a happy occasion.

- It is really good to see you, Garrett.

- Well, we're both so thankful that

you could grace us with your presence.

- So, Tyco, how often are you planning on coming around?

- Uh, as many weekends as I can.

There's not a lot of hotels around.

- Get real, dude, you can stay here.

(silverware clanking)

- No, no, no, no, that's okay.

I, uh, I'll find something suitable.

- We can easily move all of Mom's sewing junk

from your old room. - It's not junk!

And it's not that easily moved.

- Listen.

I already said I was gonna find another place to stay.

You don't have to be a bitch about it.

- You are not gonna disrespect me in this house again.

- All I'm saying is you don't have to do anything about it.

I mean, you never did anything anyways,

so why lift a finger now?

- You have some nerve lecturing me

after running away all these years.

- You think of it as me running away?

- You know, sometimes you have the mouth of a devil.

- Mom. - Okay, okay, time out!

Can we not do this?

(birds chirping)

(ground crunching)

(car engine humming)

(door thudding)

(knocking) (gasping)

(groans)

- Sorry to disturb you, but uh, you're blocking my path.

You from these parts?

- Long time ago, not anymore.

- Well, uh, avoid napping in cramped cars next time.

- Will do.

- [Noah] Safe travels.

- And how long do you plan on staying this time

before you run off to your elite city friends?

- Should I just leave?

(Debra clears throat)

- Listen, I don't want Garrett getting his hopes up.

You're gonna be sticking around just so that

you can go disappear again.

- I didn't disappear, I was disappeared.

I mean, look around.

There are no photos of me anywhere.

(light music)

(sighs)

- [Noah] Good morning, ma'am.

- Good morning, Noah.

How many times have I told you?

Call me Debra.

- Yes, ma'am.

Debra. (Debra chuckles)

They had everything in stock for a change.

- [Debra] Can I make you a grilled cheese?

- Uh, no, I had a sandwich at the grocery, but thank you.

- Are you sure? - Hello.

- Um, Noah, this is Ty.

- Tyler.

- Noah here is going to divinity school in the fall.

He's been a big help around here.

- I paid her to say that.

(Debra chuckles)

So, you're staying here, Tyler?

- In town.

- Great.

- Noah, you'll stay for dinner tonight.

You must!

- I don't want to be an imposition.

- You're never an imposition.

(birds chirping)

(water sloshing)

- You wanna use the pool now?

I can clean it later.

You know, your mom never mentioned a second son.

You know, I think she's lonely.

- Yeah, she brought that on herself.

Just a bit of friendly advice.

I'd tread carefully around her.

(footsteps tapping)

(pills rattling)

- Ty's met Noah.

- Is that why you're spilling my pills?

Mom, don't go looking for trouble.

Please.

- I'm trying here, Garrett.

For you.

(light music)

He's decided that he's a homosexual.

And he's hurt a lot of people.

- How so?

- Well, family had to move away.

We had to change churches.

And I'm gonna leave it at that.

- No disrespect or anything, ma'am.

But he's still your son and he should be staying here,

not in his car.

- In his car?

What are you talking about?

- Debra.

- We should go away.

You know, go traveling, get outta here.

- Yeah, where do you wanna go?

Disneyland?

- Paris, London, New York.

Anywhere you want.

- You know what I want, Tyco?

I want for you and Mom to make peace.

Could you do that?

For me?

(crickets chirping)

- Thanks for picking up the dessert, Noah.

- Actually, I should get going.

- Ty, you can stay in your old room.

As long as you need.

- Can even have the bigger TV.

- Uh, I, I'd have to clear it with work.

- Don't make me regret this.

- So, Tyco, you'll stay?

(light instrumental music)

(birds chirping)

(door thudding)

- [Tyler] Morning.

- Good morning.

Where is everyone?

- Mother's at work, Garrett's out with friends.

Hungry?

- Famished.

Thanks.

- I wanted to apologize for being such an ass.

Something about this place makes me a basket case.

- Hey, no apology needed.

- You helped convince my mother

to ask me to stay, didn't you?

- No, not really.

- That's what I thought.

(Noah groans)

(birds chirping)

(Noah gasps)

- The weeds seem to never go away.

- I can help you out.

Should make myself useful around here.

- Nah, you got work of your own.

Whatcha readin'?

- Fifty Shades of Grey.

- Too edgy for you.

(both laughing)

You and your brother are really different.

- You mean the fact I'm much more handsome,

debonair, and politically astute?

- One out of three ain't bad.

(Tyler chuckles)

- Wait, which one of the three am I?

- I'll never tell.

(Tyler chuckles)

- You might need these.

(leaves rustling)

This was my father's old office.

- Debra's changed it to a guest bedroom.

You wanna see it?

(food sizzling)

- Hey, speaking of ladies, you got

a thing for that choir boy, don't you?

- I expected this from her, but not you.

- I'm just sayin', I'd avoid the drama.

You know?

- Spare me, please.

Did she put you up to this?

- No!

No.

But maybe it's time you put the past behind us.

- Well, I'm sorry, Garrett, but I just can't forget

and pretend like it didn't happen, unlike you.

- You are even more full of shit than I remember.

- Oh, you could of at least stopped Dad from hitting me.

- You know, Tyco, when you were off getting

your fancy degree, pretending like you were God's gift

to the digital universe, I was stuck here

making sure that this family stayed together.

- That is true comedy gold.

The only reason you stayed was because you're too afraid

to leave this backward place.

- Shut the fuck up!

You think you're so much better than us.

Smarter.

I oughta punch you in the mouth and teach you a lesson.

- Go ahead, do it.

Make Dad proud.

- What is all of this racket about?

And why are you upsetting Garrett?

- For God's sake, Mom, I can defend myself.

- You don't even know what happened

and already you're blaming me.

- All right, it's my fault.

Are you happy now?

- (groans) I need some fresh air!

(door slams)

- It's not even noon yet.

- Yeah, monkey see, monkey do.

- I knew I shouldn't of let him come back

and stay in this house.

- Don't.

Just don't.

- Is this what you want?

- Families fight.

Get over it.

- Yeah, I can just get over it.

- Well then pray.

That always works wonders, doesn't it?

(Debra sighs)

(birds chirping)

- Hey, you okay?

(light music)

- Everything's fabulous.

Just fucking fabulous.

(birds chirping)

(car engine humming)

(gravel crunching)

- You rang?

- Thanks for coming, Logan.

- You sounded so distraught on the phone last night.

And you look it today.

- Thanks for bringing this,

I was running out of things to wear.

- My friend, you need more than a wardrobe change.

- I came home early from--

- Oh, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!

- Noah.

(knocking)

- Come in.

(door thudding)

- I didn't mean for you to see that.

- I didn't know you had a boyfriend.

- I don't have a boyfriend.

I shoulda just gone up to the city

and picked the things up myself.

- He's the caretaker, why are you flipping out about this?

- I'm not flipping out.

- Look, I am proud of you for coming back

and trying to help your brother

and dealing with whatever this is.

- I wasn't judging you.

- I've reached my lifetime quota of sermons, Noah,

so take your lecturing somewhere else.

- Listen--

- My mother's made life hell and I got into

a bad argument with Garrett, and then I pissed you off.

And Logan...

I just needed someone to be close to.

- You know, what I came here to say

is the next time you need someone to lean on, can it be me?

Should it be me?

(crickets chirping)

(door rattling)

- Hey.

I'm sorry about what I said before.

Last thing you need is me going off.

- Actually, last thing I need is you feeling sorry for me.

Treating me like some kinda sick person.

Don't start now.

- I, uh, said some things I didn't mean.

- You meant it.

Shit, I meant it.

But we're still blood, bro.

(light music)

- I feel the same.

- You know, if I'm just being honest,

I was always jealous of your smarts.

Don't feel obligated to say something.

(Tyler laughs)

- Come on.

Come on, Garrett, I've always been jealous of you.

- Jealous of what?

- The way you get along with everybody.

And you were always Dad's favorite.

- Dad thought I was a screw up.

He was right.

- Does Mom still put walnuts in those?

- Mom didn't make these.

- Yeah?

Who did?

(both laughing)

- Oh shit!

Thanks, man.

- For what?

I'm stoned.

- Oh, you're stoned. - Yeah.

- You barely ate half a brownie.

(Tyler chuckles)

- I hope this shit doesn't give me nightmares.

I've been having a lot of them lately.

- Well, Jesus.

(Tyler sighs)

- You're even in one of 'em.

- Do I wanna know?

- We were playing that Truth or Dare game

except we were adults.

And Billy was there.

- You know, man, I am never gettin' stoned with you again.

(both laughing)

Man.

- At least getting stoned has given me

a couple ideas on how to make nice with Mom tomorrow.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Do you want the other half?

(both laughing)

♪ He leadeth me ♪

♪ By His own hand ♪

♪ He leadeth me ♪

♪ His faithful follower ♪

♪ I would be ♪

♪ For by His hand ♪

♪ He leadeth me ♪

♪ Sometime ♪

- Hello.

- Is something wrong?

- No, no, no, no, I was, I just wanted to ask you something.

- Oh, okay, what?

- You still play spades?

Oh. (Debra laughs)

You could always call my bluff.

- Nah, I just got a good hand, that's all.

- No, you're still a card shark.

- Do you remember playing spades

with Maryann and Harold Parker?

- Yes.

- (chuckles) They couldn't touch us.

- What was that thing Miss Parker always used to say?

You're such a card.

- And you need a bit of work.

(both chuckling)

She was funny. - Yeah.

You relished every second of it.

- No.

Well, (laughs) maybe a little bit.

- Well.

I'm showing you no mercy this time.

(tapping)

- I think I better finish the laundry.

- All right.

Thanks for playing.

- [Debra] Yep.

(birds chirping)

- Quite a spread here.

- Yeah, much better than our dorm room at State.

(laughing)

Is it hard?

- Not yet.

- I meant the seminary, fool.

- Yeah, it's hard.

I don't know if I'm dedicated enough these days.

Gotta stop chasing boys.

- You always seemed to like the boys,

but the books always came first.

- That's because you kept me in line.

- You make it sound like I was a drill sergeant.

- You were.

You would get so mad.

- I didn't get that mad.

- Yes, you did.

And I thank you.

- We thank you in Jesus' name, amen.

(Debra sighs)

I saw you counseling Ty.

The lord has given you quite a talent for that, Noah.

- I dunno, I don't think I'm helping much.

- You know, when he was a little boy

he used to make us take him to church.

Even on weekdays if you can imagine.

- I can imagine.

You know, you two have more in common than not.

- What has he told you?

- Not a whole lot.

- I know you mean well, Noah,

but there are things that even God can't forgive.

(light dramatic music)

(Tyler groaning)

- Hey, Tyler, hey, hey.

(Tyler panting)

Hey, it's okay.

Hey.

- Billy was a boy from church.

My high school debate partner.

And Dad...

I really thought he was gonna kill me.

(light somber music)

(birds chirping)

Where'd you put my old high school stuff?

Yearbooks, photos, that kind of thing.

- I gave most of that to the Goodwill.

There might be a few boxes up in the attic.

I haven't been up there in years.

Why are you asking?

(light dramatic music)

(Tyler gasps)

(muffled talking)

(birds chirping)

- They said it was an accident.

Didn't even let me attend the funeral.

- Oh, that's awful.

- I'm sorry.

I need to be alone right now.

- Hey, take it easy for a second.

- No.

No.

I'm sorry.

(lips smacking)

(rigid breathing)

(door squeaking)

(heavy breathing)

(chickens clucking)

I was never much of a ranch hand, you know?

Always named the animals, even the chickens.

Never ended well.

- Is that all you have to say?

- Noah--

- Look, I know you're going through a lot.

- Where are you going?

(door clicking)

They were outta ant traps, I'll check again tomorrow.

What's wrong?

- I'm gonna be gone for a few days.

I'm gonna take Garrett to a specialist.

- I'll do whatever you need here.

- Can you unpack those groceries for me, please?

(Debra sighs)

- Let me ask you, if you don't mind.

When your dad was beating you

what was your mom doing?

(light music)

(Tyler sighs)

- Nothing.

She just stood by and watched it happen.

- Maybe she was afraid.

- Well, I wasn't afraid of her.

I disobeyed her, called her horrible names.

Tore her sewing stuff to shreds.

Anything to inflict pain.

I'm not proud of that.

I should go.

(door thudding)

Am I dreaming this?

- I want you and Mom to get along.

You gotta do what makes you happy.

- If I ever figure out what that is.

- Learning it's the hard way.

Life doesn't wait around for you.

(birds chirping)

(light music)

(lips smacking)

- When will we know whether the treatments worked?

- Well, we're just gonna have to wait and see.

It's tired him out, that's for sure.

- I'll take some food into him later.

- All right.

How were things around here?

- We had a nice time.

- We?

- I, um, I invited some friends in from the city

since you weren't around.

- Oh.

How was your visit, Noah?

- I had a nice time, too.

- How are you dealing with this?

With us?

So well.

- The heart has a way of answering things.

(truck engine humming) (gravel crunching)

(door thudding)

(light music)

(door thudding)

- Hi, Mom.

How was your day?

What's wrong?

- I let you return to this house,

reconnect with your brother.

This is how you repay me?

- What have I done now?

- Don't play coy with me!

- You're never gonna let this go, are you?

It's the 21st fucking century and you're never gonna change.

- [Debra] What have I said about your language?

- There you go, have another one.

That'll make things better.

- You have no shame.

Taking advantage of that boy?

He had a bright future.

- Noah is special to me and I will not

let you ruin his life like you did mine.

- Haven't you got that backwards?

You think you're the only one in pain around here?

Look around you!

- Where were you, Mother, when Dad was beating me to a pulp?

Huh?

I'll tell you.

Baking cookies,

and attending your goddamn Christian picnics.

- You wouldn't listen! - And when he kicked

me out on my ass, did you call me?

Even once?

- The phone works both ways. - Jesus Christ.

I'm the child and you're the parent, remember?

No, hold on.

Admit it.

You thought it was okay to shut me out of my own home.

- You take no responsibility for yourself.

You were so cruel to me.

- Yeah, well I learned from the best.

- You don't care about Noah.

You're just using him to get back at me.

- Yeah, yeah, because it's about you,

it's always about you.

- It's about my faith.

It's about common decency. - If Jesus Christ came back

and saw you were doing to his name, he would vomit!

- How dare you!

You have torn this family apart!

You are not gonna be satisfied

until you've destroyed it completely!

- The only thing tearing apart this family is your hate.

- 'Cause anyone that doesn't agree

with your views is a bigot, right?

- Garrett is fighting for his life

and the only thing you're concerned about is condemning me.

- It was you that sent your father to an early grave.

- No, no, that's on you.

- And it wasn't for you and your sins,

Billy would still be alive.

- God damn it.

- [Debra] Why do you always do this?

(Tyler groans)

- Fuck you!

Just fuck you.

- You being here is making Garrett worse.

- The only reason I didn't go to Dad's funeral,

it wasn't because of him, it was because of you.

- There is something seriously wrong with you.

- The scars on my body, they healed.

But not the way that you blamed me for everything.

Now, tell me, what kind of a mother does that?

Tell me!

- Stop it!

(smacking) Both of you!

I can't take it anymore.

- This is between me and her, Garrett.

- I'm not dead yet, Tyco.

I still have a stake in this family.

- That's not what I meant.

- If you cared about your brother at all,

you wouldn't of seduced Noah for your own carnal pleasure.

- Mom!

Be quiet!

What difference does it make who he's with?

And for the record, you and Dad failed him.

And you failed us, too, Tyco.

- I was 17.

- Yeah, you were.

But you're not a teenager anymore.

You're a part of this family.

Maybe it's time you start acting like it.

- How could I be part of this family

when no one accepts me?

- She could accept you right now

and you'd still be that angry guy

that you've been for a long time.

- That is so unfair.

- When does it end?

When does it end?

When are you gonna get off your fucking high horse?

- God.

- I just think--

- I'm sick, Mom.

I don't care what you think.

(Debra sniffles)

- You lied to me.

You lied to everyone at church.

- I never meant to hurt you.

Or anybody else.

- I don't wanna hear anymore of your damn lies!

- I fucked up.

- We all fucked up.

- Where is the boy I took in at church?

The one who inspired everyone with his faith?

- Do you expect me to spend my life alone?

Without love?

- Well, you're gonna be alone because Ty

is gonna abandon you the same way he abandoned me.

- Tyler needs you.

- No, he hates me.

(crickets chirping)

(light music)

- Don't do this, Noah.

(Noah sniffles)

- This is about your family.

- You're just gonna forget about us?

- Please don't make this harder than it already is.

- Please don't go.

- Make things right.

(birds chirping)

- I'm not sure this treatment's gonna do any good,

but as long as it doesn't involve major hospital time.

You know, the worst part of this thing,

beyond the suffering and losing my mind,

it's looking back on my life

and not seeing much in the way of nothing.

- You're the glue to this family, Garrett.

You always were.

You're the touchstone.

- I'm wifeless, kidless.

I planned a job around a factory that closed down.

I shoulda done more to stop Dad.

I just didn't have the balls.

- Garrett, you did more than anyone.

You protected me from the bullies at school.

I'll always be grateful.

- I don't even recall that.

- Because you just did it.

God knows what I woulda done without you.

- God knows?

Tyler from the big city getting soft on me now?

- I can still whip your pathetic ass at ping pong.

Left handed.

- That's more like it.

Hey, could you, uh, fix me a glass of water?

- Yeah, sure.

(door thudding)

(Debra sniffles)

Mom.

I'm sorry.

- Plenty of people outta work around here.

Won't be hard to find someone else.

- I meant I'm sorry for all the terrible things

that I said to you.

I'm sorry I'm not the son you want me to be.

(Debra sighs)

- That is exactly what I used

to think when I was growing up.

- What do you mean?

- That I wasn't the daughter that my father wanted me to be.

That I was responsible for everything.

All my life your grandfather did things and (sighs)

I didn't say anything, I didn't stop him, and--

- Oh my God.

- You know, my faith is all I've ever had, Ty.

It's all I've had to hang onto.

- Mom.

- No, don't.

- What happened to us?

How did we forget how to talk to each other?

- It's just how it is!

- No, no.

All these years I've convinced myself

it's okay to feel nothing.

- That day in the barn.

The day you left.

- Mom.

(Debra crying)

(birds chirping)

(light music)

- How's Mom?

- I don't know.

But if she's given up, I haven't.

- Me either.

(loud exhaling)

(light music)

(light music) (birds chirping)

- [Tyler] Soon the rains will turn

everything here emerald green,

but the golden hills will never be far away.

(light music)