Original subtitles

- Previously... - Okay, folks, this is a big one.

We just received intel that enemy agents

are hiding right here in the D.C. Metro area,

pretending to be ordinary citizens.

[Ernie] This can't be the right location.

It's practically around the corner from our house.

- That would mean... - Enemy agents have been living in our own neighborhood.

I am not spying on Amy.

Just buddy up to her, get into her house,

and find that weapons distribution list.

We can take down every enemy spy network in the country.

Thousands of lives could be saved.

[KC] I'll do it.

Okay, is it just me, or does it feel like we've been friends forever?

I know, I know, it's kinda crazy.

We love all the same stuff.

All right, well, I don't know about that.

Okay, let's see.

How about I name some of the things I love,

and we'll see if you love it too.

- Cool. Let's do it. - Okay, bagpipe music.

Uh, yeah. Is there a better bag instrument?

Okay, how about renaissance fairs?

Thou hast declareth the truth about mine self,

'cause I, too, loveth the ren fair.

Buzzumba workouts.

I don't love buzzumba.

I love, love, love buzzumba!

Okay, well, then,

why don't we hit up a class after school?

I just took one this morning,

but hey, double the buzzumba, double the fun... ba.

Oh. Man.

I'm so sorry. Did you want a bite?

Oh, no, I'm good. I'm actually a vegetarian, so...

You won't be after you eat me.

Come on, take a bite.

It's really good, it's really good.

Really, I can't.

Okay, that's fine.

I guess we don't love all the same things.

You didn't let me finish.

What I mean is, I can't...

wait to take a bite...

out of that big,

juicy, meaty burger. Right?

There's bacon in there. That's nice.

Hold it. I gotta hit the library.

You wanna meet me there?

See you there.

Gotta finish this burger.

[coughing]

Am I crazy, or do you spend all of your time with Amy?

Marisa, you know that this is my assignment, okay?

I have to pretend to be her friend

so I can get into her house and plant some bugs.

Is she a spy or not?

I don't know, but I know she's annoying.

I mean, please, can you just hang out with us,

'cause I need a buffer between me and the buzzumba dancing bagpipe enthusiast.

Yeah, sure. Just name the time and place.

Actually, right now. I'm supposed to meet her in the library; wanna come?

Okay, yeah, cool. Uh, the library's this way, right?

What, no. The library's always been this way.

Should've seen that one coming.

♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪

♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nobody keep their head so cool ♪

♪ I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire ♪

♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪

♪ I'm not perfect ♪

♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪

♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪

♪ Livin' my life, on red alert ♪

♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪

♪ Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless ♪

♪ But I always got your back ♪

♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪

♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪

♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪

♪ It's all part of the plan ♪

I keep it undercover.

I keep it undercover.

Oh, come on, KC, gotta pick up those knees.

They were up, they were up.

[groaning]

Whoo!

Isn't this a great class?

Oh, it's great. I just wish it was

a little more challenging.

- I barely broke a sweat. - You look pretty sweaty to me.

Oh, this? No.

This is just my pre-sweat sweat.

I haven't gotten to the real salty sweat yet.

Right, well, I'm gonna go fill my water bottle for the second half.

Oh, great. Second half. Right.

Kill me now.

I'm just gonna take a seat.

No seats. Okay, well, I'll lean.

I'm just gonna full-out collapse.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Oh, no, I'm good.

I was just, um,

doing my full body floor stretch.

Ready for the second half.

While we're stretching it out,

maybe we could think of some things we could do with Marisa.

Oh, this is awkward.

- What? - I know you're close with her,

but I just find Marisa a teeny, tiny, little bit,

wildly, crazy, overly dramatic.

Oh, no, Marisa is so much more than that.

She's, um...

oblivious, flaky, and self-centered,

but that's what makes it so fun.

Sorry.

I just like people like us.

Really chill.

Whoo! Buzzumba! Yes!

What are you doing?

Just chillin', right?

Chillin'.

Wow, that buzzumba class was great.

Too bad they had to cut it short, right?

After you kicked in the sound system,

it was a little hard to keep going.

Speaking of which, I have to pee again.

Second time in two minutes.

It's okay. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Especially when I put a little something extra

in your drink.

Okay, Ernie, I'm gonna start placing the surveillance bugs.

Okay, I'm picking up video and sound.

Yay! Now we get to monitor all their conversations.

Let the boredom begin.

Hey, guys, I think I found what seems to be

a military-grade laptop.

And considering nobody in that household is in the military,

this could be our link to the arms distribution list.

Hey, sorry I keep going to the bathroom.

I don't know why I keep having to pee.

It's all good.

Better you do it in there than out here, right?

Um, hey, I was actually trying to check my email on my phone,

but I wasn't getting any signal.

Can I just use this computer?

No, no, you can't use that.

Why not?

I promise I won't check your search history

and get all judge-y.

What I mean is,

this is my parents' work computer,

and they'll freak out if you do...

Oh, I have to pee again.

Oh, great, it's password protected.

[Judy] Okay, try this.

Okay, I'm ready. Go ahead.

- Y. - Y.

- R. - R.

- U. - U.

So stupid?

A laptop containing all the information

that will help us shut down

every enemy spy network in the world.

Of course it's password protected!

So what's your take on Amy? Is she in this or not?

My gut instinct is telling me

she's definitely a spy,

starting with her actual gut.

That girl is in top physical condition,

much more than the average teenager.

That tells me she may have had some training.

She almost tried to eliminate someone today.

- Who? - Me.

Yeah, that buzzumba class almost killed me.

Plus, when I asked her about the computer,

she got really weird, like scared almost.

Well, you are an excellent judge of character.

Better than I was at your age.

Back in college, I dated this guy named Gerald.

Thought he was the perfect boyfriend.

Turns out he was dating every girl in the dorm.

You know what I find interesting?

When I met you,

you told me you'd only had one boyfriend.

But now it seems like every time you tell a story

about the good old days, you're with a different guy.

Just how many boyfriends did you have?

Craig, don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

And besides, I'm not the one under investigation.

It's Amy.

Judy and Ernie are on surveillance,

so hopefully they'll have some information soon

that helps get into the computer.

But for future reference,

anything that happened in the romantic arena

before you two were my parents,

I don't need to know about it.

I'm just sayin'.

Why does Mitch even bother buying tissues

if he insists on picking a winner every time?

Nasty.

Mm-hmm.

What do you guys want for dinner?

Oh, let's go to that barbecue place downtown.

I am two pork racks away

from a free order of mac and cheese.

Not to mention high cholesterol.

Guys, that place is so crowded.

I don't wanna wait two hours for a table.

I'm with Amy.

Yes, it's crowded because

they have the best Kansas City ribs

outside of Kansas City.

Come on, I want my ribs.

Then go pick some up, Mitch.

And wait in line for two hours?

- Nah, forget it. - Pizza it is.

They must know they're bugged,

and they're saying really boring stuff just to torture us.

Hey, guys, how's surveillance going?

Do you have any information on the Bishops

that can help us figure out the password?

Nothing, unless you count the fact

that Mitch is obsessed with Kansas City ribs.

Kansas City ribs?

Wait a minute. Kansas City ribs.

Hey, what if the best way to a spy's password

is through his stomach?

So you're saying you want me to rip out his stomach?

No, I was talking about ribs.

Oh, I mean, I can rip out his ribs, too.

But I'm warning you, it's going to be a lot messier.

Hey, so I came up with a plan

for you, me and Amy.

Oh, about that. Yeah, I don't really think that's gonna work.

It turns out she... [mutters]

I'm sorry, what?

It turns out she, um... doesn't really like you.

What? Why?

I don't know. She just thinks

that you're a little overly dramatic.

[loud gasp]

Overly dramatic?

Moi? Moi?!

That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Am I overly dramatic? What a joke.

What a joke.

I'm universally adored.

Adored!

Yeah, I'm not really seeing the overly dramatic thing.

Okay, so that's it? I can't hang out with you

at all when you're doing this mission?

Look, I don't like it either.

Okay? Amy is getting on my last nerve,

and hopefully, it will be over soon,

because I came up with a plan to get into their computer.

Fine, do what you have to do to save the world

while mine is quietly collapsing.

Well, that wasn't dramatic at all.

Marisa? What are you doing here?

Oh, hey, KC, hey, Amy.

I didn't know you guys would be here.

I just came for my Zen meditation class.

Buzzumba's a little too intense

and dramatic for a really calm person like myself.

Anyway, I gotta go. There's this really calming

nature documentary on that I would hate to miss.

But not so much that I'd cause a scene.

You know, I would just be upset like, um...

a normal amount.

Namaste.

You didn't tell her what I said about her, did you?

Oh, no, no. Of course not.

But I really think that if you got to know Marisa,

you'd really like her.

Yeah, I don't know about that.

You know when you meet somebody that just rubs you the wrong way,

and everything they say is like nails down a chalkboard?

[makes screeching sound]

Nope, nope, never met someone like that.

Nope?

[phone rings]

Hi, Mom.

Hi. Following your plan,

and calling you at the time you told me to.

What do you mean, you can't pick me up?

How am I supposed to get home?

Okay, fine, I guess I'll just...

be alone in a cold, dark parking lot.

Hopefully no scary vans will drive by

and slow down each time they pass.

No, no.

If you need a ride home, my parents can take you.

Oh, okay. Well, in that case, it's all good, Mom.

The Bishops are gonna take me home.

And we'll be here waiting for them.

It's great to finally meet you guys.

You, too, and thanks so much for bringing KC home.

Well, it was either that or feed her, clothe her,

and send her to college.

I apologize for my dad's "jokes."

Yeah, well, I apologize for my mother encouraging him

with her fake laughter.

Kira, where are my special measuring spoons?

In the drawer where they always are.

What are you doing over there, Craig?

Oh-ho, I'm putting together my special spice rub

for our barbecue tomorrow.

I'm making my famous Kansas City ribs.

Kansas City ribs?!

Those are my favorites.

Actually, he'll eat anything.

Nobody makes ribs like I do.

I have a special rub handed down three generations.

Yeah, that originally came in the back of a magazine.

- Craig. - Mm-hmm.

What's in your rub?

Mitch, please.

We just met.

Hey, why don't you guys come to dinner tomorrow?

Oh, we wouldn't wanna impose.

We're inviting you; you're not imposing.

I fly my ribs in all the way from Kansas City.

He flies them in. Honey, please!

Okay, fine. We'd love to come.

Great. Now we have to spend tomorrow with our parents.

So annoying, right?

Hey, smells good out here.

That's right.

Uh-uh-uh.

Mitch, please. No peeking.

If you wanna know, I'll tell you

two of the secret ingredients in my rub.

- Yeah, thank you. I'm listening. - Okay.

Patience, and mind your business.

Come on. At least tell me what kind of salt you use.

Standard, kosher, pink Himalayan?

Come on, man, you gotta give me something!

It's like your husband's protecting state secrets or something.

Yeah, well, what can I say?

Craig is serious about his meat.

The man barbecues twice a year,

which leaves 363 days for me to cook.

At least he grills twice a year.

Mitch, oh, he couldn't make ice if I wrote out the recipe.

My dad is so embarrassing.

Yeah, I'm just glad my dad didn't wear his stupid apron

with the six-pack abs on it.

Oh, I spoke too soon.

Hey, Ernie, can you help me get the guacamole?

Why do I have to help?

Because I need your help.

All right, you know the plan? You know what you're doing?

I come up with a believable excuse to leave

and break into the Bishops' house.

You guys will pump them for personal information

that'll help me crack that computer password.

Perfect. And we'll have that distribution list

before they're done picking rib meat out their teeth.

Guacamole!

Hey, would you look at that?

Amber, the prettiest girl in school,

wants me to come over and help her study.

What do you expect when you're this smart and irresistible?

Mom, Dad, would you be upset if I sashayed on outta here?

Of course not.

He is such a ladies man.

Oh, hey.

There you are.

You okay?

Yeah, no, I'm fine. Everything's fine.

You hardly seem fine.

You can talk to me about it; I'm a friend.

I don't know.

It's just, it feels like it was yesterday

that I was Judy's age,

and I was actually playing this game.

Now it's just such a stressful time.

I'm about to graduate, and our entire lives are gonna change.

What if I don't like college?

What if I miss my family, what if I don't pick the right major?

I still don't know what I wanna be

when I grow up, and apparently, I am grown up.

I don't feel grown up.

I guess I feel confused about everything.

Sit down.

Look, anybody who says that they got it all figured out

is either lying or kidding themselves.

I know that everyone in our grade

is stressed about the exact same stuff.

I know I'm confused, and I'm valedictorian,

so technically, I'm supposed to be smarter than everybody.

KC, can I admit something?

Yeah, sure.

I don't really have a lot of friends.

I guess people tend to find me...

annoying.

What?

You? No.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, I don't get it either.

Hey, I'm also really sorry about what I said about Marisa.

If she's your friend, she has to be cool.

I guess what I'm trying to say is,

I'm really lucky to have you as a friend,

to have somebody I can talk to and trust.

Uh, yeah, yeah.

Of course. I mean,

buzzumba isn't just a workout class, right?

It's a sisterhood. Bring it in.

Okay, Ernie, what's your position?

- Can you hear us? - Loud and clear.

I'm at the computer, and I'm ready when you are.

Let's get some information on the Bishops.

Hey, you know what?

Why don't we play a fun game

where we get to know each other better?

It's called, "What's your diva name?"

Oh, okay, I love that game.

It's basically a combination of your first pet's name

and the street that you grew up on.

I'll go first.

So, um, we had a cat named Fluffy,

and we live on Melby Lane,

so that means my diva name is Fluffy Melby.

[laughter]

All right. That would make me

Rover 123rd Avenue.

I guess I'm not really the diva type.

[forced laughter] No, honey, you're no diva.

And my diva name is...

Cuddles Fenimore!

I think I once dated a Cuddles Fenimore.

And ironically, she didn't even like to cuddle.

[laughter]

Okay, my turn.

Okay, finally.

Something that might help me with this password.

My diva name is--

Well, well, well.

Oh, great. As usual,

Marisa's timing is impeccable.

What is going on here?

Uh, now's not really a good time.

We're just having a little family barbecue.

Oh, and I wasn't invited.

I know I'm not a Cooper or a Bishop,

but as far as I can tell,

Bishops aren't Coopers and Coopers aren't Bishops

so you're already playing fast and loose,

with this whole family barbecue thing. Yeah, I'd love to join.

We were hoping you'd say that.

Well, we were just playing "What's your diva name?"

Who was up?

Oh, Danielle.

So it's--

My first pet was a goldfish,

but it died before we got a chance to name it.

So it's No-name Melby. We got it, movin' on.

But I didn't move to Melby Lane

until I was three, so what was my first street name?

It was some sort of bird.

I'm thinking dodo. Get her outta there.

Oh, Flamingo.

Flamingo Road. And we had

this cute little gerbil named Gary.

He used to leave gerbil pellets all over the house.

So it's Gerbil Poop Flamingo. That's great.

Um, back to you guys.

Guys, come on. I'm sitting in their house.

Give me something I can use.

This entire mission is going south.

KC, do something.

You were saying, Mrs. Bishop.

- Okay, so-- - Bluebird Road!

It wasn't Flamingo Road, it was Bluebird Road.

Marisa, please, could you just stop interrupting,

'cause we're trying to play a game here,

and we're getting to the Bishops.

Mrs. Bishop, Mr. Bishop.

Either of you wanna go?

Oh, wow, okay.

I guess it's all about the Bishops.

I'll just sit here quietly because apparently

you don't care about anyone else but the Bishops.

O...kay.

I'm sorry, we're gonna have to leave.

What's wrong, Dad?

It's my stomach, and it's acting up again.

We better get you home to bed, honey.

Come on, Amy.

- But, Mom... - Amy, now.

Don't go.

We have antacid in the bathroom.

We also have the pink stuff.

It doesn't taste very good, but it works.

We gotta go.

Come on, you haven't even eaten yet.

Nothing settles an upset stomach

- like a greasy plate of ribs. - Maybe another time.

Really, Marisa, really. That's...

Judy.

- Hey, what's up? - Get on the com and tell Ernie

- to get out of that house now. - Okay, I'm on it.

- Well, that went well. - Tell me about it.

This mission is starting to get to me.

I told you, whether I'm at school,

or I'm at work, or I'm home,

everything is about Amy and the Bishops,

and I can't take it anymore.

I know Marisa messed up back there,

but it's because I haven't been able to spend

any time with her.

And worse, I know I said that Amy was annoying,

but now I like her.

Since when? She's the enemy.

Is she? I don't know that.

I had this talk with her,

and now every bone in my body is telling me

that she's not a spy.

She's just a 17-year-old girl, and she's a mess,

and she's vulnerable and confused

and scared about the future, and honestly,

she's a lot like me.

KC, let me ask you a question.

If this situation were reversed,

and you were protecting your cover, what would you do?

I'd... make myself appear to be

as much like the target as possible.

to throw them off my track,

but that's not what she's doing.

At least, I don't think that's what she's doing.

I don't know.

Something is wrong with Ernie's com.

He's not answering me. He must've forgotten to charge it.

So that means they're on the way to their house,

- and he's there and... - We need to get him out of there.

I'm going old school.

Hey, Dad, what's going on?

Ernie, get out of that house now.

Why? I haven't even begun to...

Rob, your name's on TV.