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1
00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:08,708
And that is why I always carry
a backup, backup lip gloss.
2
00:00:13,416 --> 00:00:15,333
KC, you've been listening?
3
00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:16,708
Oh, yeah, sorry.
I'm sorry.
4
00:00:16,708 --> 00:00:18,250
I'm just still
kind of freaked out
5
00:00:18,250 --> 00:00:19,583
about my mission
last night.
6
00:00:19,583 --> 00:00:21,625
I mean, I actually thought
that I was going to die,
7
00:00:21,625 --> 00:00:26,125
and it made me realize
the one thing
I'm missing in my life
8
00:00:26,125 --> 00:00:27,500
-is Darien.
-A manicure!
9
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,750
Darien. Wait, what, Darien?
10
00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:35,625
Yeah, I mean, I still
have feelings for him.
11
00:00:35,625 --> 00:00:37,875
What? Then why are you
telling me this?
12
00:00:37,875 --> 00:00:39,208
You should be telling him.
13
00:00:39,208 --> 00:00:40,500
You know what,
you're right.
14
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:41,750
You're right.
15
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,291
I have wasted way
too much time.
16
00:00:43,291 --> 00:00:44,500
I'm gonna go
tell him right now.
17
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:46,291
-Good. He's right there.
-He's right there.
18
00:00:46,291 --> 00:00:48,416
-The love of your life!
-The love of my life!
19
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:50,166
-You're gonna make it happen!
-Make it happen!
20
00:00:50,166 --> 00:00:51,583
-Pineapple.
-Pineapple.
21
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:56,416
I feel like you're just stalling
by repeating what I say.
22
00:00:56,416 --> 00:00:58,333
I feel like I'm just stalling
by repeating what you say.
23
00:00:58,333 --> 00:01:00,958
He is leaving. Go!
24
00:01:00,958 --> 00:01:02,000
Okay, okay. Okay!
25
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,708
Hey!
26
00:01:04,708 --> 00:01:06,708
Darien.
27
00:01:06,708 --> 00:01:09,000
What's up? It's been
a while since we talked,
you know?
28
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,750
Probably because you
told me you didn't want
to talk to me anymore...
29
00:01:11,750 --> 00:01:13,833
while I was laying
in a hospital bed...
30
00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:17,500
with broken ribs,
then a broken heart.
31
00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:20,333
Oh, look at us.
32
00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:22,958
Reminiscing
about old times.
33
00:01:24,458 --> 00:01:27,333
So, uh, you wanna, like,
hang out Friday, maybe?
34
00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:30,875
(scoffs) KC, you do know
I have a girlfriend, right?
35
00:01:32,375 --> 00:01:33,708
Guh, yeah.
36
00:01:35,083 --> 00:01:37,458
(scoffs) Duh, I know
you have a girlfriend.
37
00:01:37,458 --> 00:01:40,375
Uh, you know, I didn't mean,
like, you and me.
38
00:01:40,375 --> 00:01:43,583
That's weird. More of,
like, a group thing,
39
00:01:43,583 --> 00:01:47,416
you know, like you,
your girlfriend and...
40
00:01:47,416 --> 00:01:49,750
me and my boyfriend.
41
00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:53,416
You have a boyfriend?
42
00:01:53,416 --> 00:01:54,583
Psh, yuh!
43
00:01:54,583 --> 00:01:56,958
His name is...
44
00:01:56,958 --> 00:02:00,416
T-Trey Appleton Jr.
45
00:02:00,416 --> 00:02:03,458
Okay, yeah, sure.
Why not?
46
00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:05,250
(chuckles)
47
00:02:08,875 --> 00:02:10,833
So, how'd it go?
48
00:02:10,833 --> 00:02:12,416
Great! Yeah, no,
really great.
49
00:02:12,416 --> 00:02:15,000
We have a date this Friday,
a double date.
50
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,333
That's amazing!
Who are you guys going with?
51
00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:20,416
His girlfriend...
and my boyfriend.
52
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,416
-You don't have a boy--
-I know that.
53
00:02:23,416 --> 00:02:25,958
Okay.
54
00:02:25,958 --> 00:02:29,333
♪ Oh, when danger
comes for you ♪
55
00:02:29,333 --> 00:02:32,291
♪ You know
I'll stand beside you ♪
56
00:02:32,291 --> 00:02:36,416
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their head so cool ♪
57
00:02:36,416 --> 00:02:40,458
♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪
58
00:02:40,458 --> 00:02:44,458
♪ Don't tell nobody,
tell nobody ♪
59
00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:46,458
♪ I'm not perfect ♪
60
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:50,458
♪ So many things
I wanna tell you ♪
61
00:02:50,458 --> 00:02:54,333
♪ But I, I, I,
I keep it undercover ♪
62
00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:56,458
♪ Livin' my life,
on red alert ♪
63
00:02:56,458 --> 00:02:58,583
♪ Doin' my thing,
gonna make it work ♪
64
00:02:58,583 --> 00:03:01,416
♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪
65
00:03:01,416 --> 00:03:03,166
♪ But I always
got your back ♪
66
00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:05,000
♪ Nobody can do it
like I can ♪
67
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,000
♪ I gotta find out
who I am ♪
68
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,875
♪ Ain't got to worry
about me ♪
69
00:03:09,875 --> 00:03:11,625
♪ It's all
part of the plan ♪
70
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,708
I keep it undercover.
71
00:03:13,708 --> 00:03:15,333
I keep it
undercover.
72
00:03:18,375 --> 00:03:20,958
-(doorbell rings)
-Judy, get the door.
73
00:03:20,958 --> 00:03:22,625
-Why me?
-Because you're a machine
74
00:03:22,625 --> 00:03:25,875
and a child. Double whammy.
Get the door.
75
00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:38,000
What comic book hero
are you, Super Loser?
76
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,625
The school talent show
is this week,
77
00:03:40,625 --> 00:03:42,625
and I'm gonna show off...
78
00:03:42,625 --> 00:03:44,875
my magic skills!
79
00:03:44,875 --> 00:03:46,625
And I want you
to be my assistant!
80
00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:49,125
Aw, how flattering!
81
00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:50,458
No.
82
00:03:50,458 --> 00:03:55,125
Fin-nin-nin-nin-nin!
Fin-nin-nin-nin-nin!
83
00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:56,458
What are you doing?
84
00:03:56,458 --> 00:03:59,708
I'm telepathically changing
your mind so you'll agree.
85
00:03:59,708 --> 00:04:00,958
Fin-nin-nin-nin-nin!
86
00:04:00,958 --> 00:04:02,416
Well, guess what?
87
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:05,708
We're fin-nin-nin-nin-ished
here.
88
00:04:06,750 --> 00:04:08,875
You know, fine!
Who needs you!
89
00:04:08,875 --> 00:04:11,833
I'll ask someone else
to be my assistant.
90
00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:17,375
Judy, you weren't
very nice to Petey.
91
00:04:17,375 --> 00:04:20,291
Now, go and apologize
and tell him you're
gonna be his assistant.
92
00:04:20,291 --> 00:04:22,000
-Why should I?
-Because I'm your mother
93
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,583
and your superior officer.
94
00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:25,583
Boom! Double whammy.
Got you again.
95
00:04:37,583 --> 00:04:40,375
What's with the dress,
and are you wearing lipstick?
96
00:04:42,875 --> 00:04:45,166
How did you know that?
You didn't even turn around.
97
00:04:45,166 --> 00:04:49,125
Honey, I'm your mom.
I know everything.
98
00:04:49,125 --> 00:04:51,458
So, what are you
all dressed up for?
99
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,500
Can't a girl just get
all pretty 'cause she
feels like it?
100
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:56,625
Mm-hmm. What's his name?
101
00:04:58,458 --> 00:04:59,583
Darien.
102
00:04:59,583 --> 00:05:00,458
Interesting!
103
00:05:00,458 --> 00:05:01,708
He has the same name
104
00:05:01,708 --> 00:05:03,708
as the boy I said
you can't date.
105
00:05:03,708 --> 00:05:05,500
-It's different now.
-How?
106
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,583
Abby, Erica, and Richard
are all behind bars,
107
00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:09,458
so nobody's out
to get him...
108
00:05:09,458 --> 00:05:12,125
except for me.
109
00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:15,708
Look, Mom,
I really like him, okay,
110
00:05:15,708 --> 00:05:17,625
and I'm a girl, okay?
111
00:05:17,625 --> 00:05:19,458
I'm not just a spy,
and at some point
112
00:05:19,458 --> 00:05:22,458
I'm gonna have a boyfriend
whether you or the organization
113
00:05:22,458 --> 00:05:23,875
or the entire world
want me to or not.
114
00:05:23,875 --> 00:05:25,458
KC, as your ranking officer,
115
00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:28,333
I'm saying you
absolutely cannot do this.
116
00:05:28,333 --> 00:05:32,000
But as your mom I'm saying
go get 'em, baby!
117
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:42,000
Hey, KC, this is
my girlfriend, Bianca.
118
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,458
-Nice to meet you.
-You too!
119
00:05:43,458 --> 00:05:45,625
Sorry we're late.
Totally my fault.
120
00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:47,375
The blood drive I was running
ran overtime
121
00:05:47,375 --> 00:05:48,833
because there were
so many donors.
122
00:05:48,833 --> 00:05:50,166
I broke a new record!
123
00:05:51,583 --> 00:05:53,750
And then on the way here
someone had car trouble,
124
00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:56,333
so I pushed them
to the nearest gas station.
125
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:59,250
My little do-gooder.
Isn't she perfect?
126
00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:01,083
Yeah! Yeah, she sure is.
127
00:06:01,083 --> 00:06:03,375
Um, speaking of perfect,
this is my man--
128
00:06:03,375 --> 00:06:06,416
Trey Appleton Jr.!
129
00:06:07,875 --> 00:06:09,875
I can't tell you
how happy I am to finally
130
00:06:09,875 --> 00:06:12,958
meet the guy who couldn't
hold on to my gal's heart.
131
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,958
Well, your loss is
Trey Appleton Jr.'s gain!
132
00:06:17,958 --> 00:06:19,875
Am I right, pumpkin?
133
00:06:19,875 --> 00:06:22,125
(giggles cheerlessly)
134
00:06:23,958 --> 00:06:26,083
Anyway, how 'bout you guys
get your shoes on
135
00:06:26,083 --> 00:06:27,875
and we'll start bowling.
136
00:06:27,875 --> 00:06:29,500
Okay.
137
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:32,500
Hey, Trey, I never see you
around school.
138
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,375
That's because he
doesn't go to Hamilton.
139
00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:36,708
-He goes to, um--
-American University.
140
00:06:36,708 --> 00:06:39,708
Yeah, that's right,
KC's dating a college man!
141
00:06:39,708 --> 00:06:42,583
I know,quelle scandal!
142
00:06:44,958 --> 00:06:45,958
Anyway.
143
00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:51,000
Why don't we, uh,
break into teams?
144
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,708
Maybe we should make it
interesting and, like,
mix up the couples.
145
00:06:53,708 --> 00:06:55,583
Love it! Let's do
boys versus girls.
146
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,000
Oh, actually,
I was thinking--
147
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,000
Boys versus girls it is!
148
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:02,583
You're lucky, Darien.
149
00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:04,583
This one can't bowl
for beans!
150
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:07,458
Last time we went,
151
00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:09,458
she took a toddler out
five lanes over.
152
00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:11,875
That's so funny!
153
00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:13,458
I started
a fundraising campaign
154
00:07:13,458 --> 00:07:14,875
for victims
of athletic injuries.
155
00:07:14,875 --> 00:07:16,833
Oh, of course you did!
156
00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:18,708
Didn't I tell you
Bianca was the best?
157
00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:20,291
Yeah, well,
I don't know.
158
00:07:20,291 --> 00:07:21,583
May be a tie.
159
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:29,958
This one can't keep his hands
off of me, can he?
160
00:07:34,708 --> 00:07:38,375
The whole thing was awkward
and just horrible,
161
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,708
and the worst part is
Bianca might be the nicest girl
162
00:07:40,708 --> 00:07:43,208
I have ever met
in my entire life.
163
00:07:43,208 --> 00:07:45,583
I've gotta get rid of her.
164
00:07:45,583 --> 00:07:49,625
Uh, okay, KC, I realize that
is acceptable in the spy world,
165
00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:55,250
but here on Planet Normal People
that will get you 15 to life.
166
00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:57,583
Marisa, I don't mean
"get rid of her" get rid of her.
167
00:07:57,583 --> 00:08:00,458
I mean... you know...
168
00:08:00,458 --> 00:08:02,333
get them to break up!
169
00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:04,250
Me-ow!
170
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:05,708
No, I mean, look.
171
00:08:05,708 --> 00:08:08,458
Darien and I are destined
to be together, right?
172
00:08:08,458 --> 00:08:10,708
So, if you think about it,
really what I'm doing
173
00:08:10,708 --> 00:08:13,333
is saving her heartache
in the future
174
00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:17,291
by making this "meant to be"
be right now.
175
00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:20,416
(chuckles) All right, sold.
So, what's the plan?
176
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:23,000
All we have to do is find
someone new for Bianca,
177
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,458
you know, someone
who's totally amazing
and totally available.
178
00:08:26,458 --> 00:08:28,833
Has anyone seen
my foot fungus cream?
179
00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:32,333
Or my pimple cream?
180
00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:34,583
Or my butt rash cream?
181
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:38,750
I guess what I'm asking is
has anyone seen my cream box?
182
00:08:40,875 --> 00:08:44,458
Well, he may not be amazing,
but he is available.
183
00:08:50,208 --> 00:08:52,291
Tah-dah!
184
00:08:52,291 --> 00:08:53,750
What's that?
185
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,458
A magician's box!
186
00:08:55,458 --> 00:08:56,875
You grab that saw
and split me in half.
187
00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:58,458
I'm afraid
I'll hurt you.
188
00:08:58,458 --> 00:08:59,875
You're the Great Pete-dini.
189
00:08:59,875 --> 00:09:01,083
I'm sure you can do it.
190
00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:02,291
Well, I'll try.
191
00:09:06,333 --> 00:09:10,250
Fin-nin-nin-nin-nin!
192
00:09:21,291 --> 00:09:24,875
I did it!
I really can do magic!
193
00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:28,083
I am the Great Pete-dini!
194
00:09:28,083 --> 00:09:31,708
And I am the Great Ju-dini!
195
00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:34,708
Yeah, no one cares
about the assistant.
196
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:38,291
The assistant does!
197
00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:42,208
Besides, you're nothing
without me.
198
00:09:42,208 --> 00:09:45,708
You know what?
I don't like your attitude.
199
00:09:49,708 --> 00:09:51,458
(grunts)
200
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:55,875
Probably should've insulted him
after he put me back together.
201
00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:02,708
Yeah, there's just
one little wrinkle
202
00:10:02,708 --> 00:10:06,875
in the whole put-Ernie-
and-the-perfect-Bianca-
together plan,
203
00:10:06,875 --> 00:10:08,708
and that wrinkle
would be Ernie.
204
00:10:10,583 --> 00:10:12,083
You're right.
You're right, there's no way
205
00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:13,875
he's gonna steal
the quarterback's girlfriend.
206
00:10:13,875 --> 00:10:16,125
Yeah, he would have
to save her life
207
00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:18,708
in a daring feat of heroism.
208
00:10:20,875 --> 00:10:22,875
What? I read a lot
of romance novels.
209
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:25,958
Okay, I look at the covers.
210
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:29,125
You may be
on to something.
211
00:10:29,125 --> 00:10:32,875
Who wouldn't fall
for their knight
in shining armor?
212
00:10:32,875 --> 00:10:34,875
We can work with this.
We can work with this.
213
00:10:34,875 --> 00:10:36,875
How are we gonna get Ernie
to save Bianca's life?
214
00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:39,375
(gasps) Oh, I know!
215
00:10:43,166 --> 00:10:44,958
Oh, heavens!
216
00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:48,000
There was an odorless,
tasteless element to this pizza,
217
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,583
and now I fear my life is
in great... peril.
218
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,083
ERNIE: Don't worry, Bianca,
I'll save you!
219
00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:57,708
I've got the antidote!
220
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,333
(grunts)
221
00:11:08,958 --> 00:11:12,416
Well, Ihad the antidote.
222
00:11:17,958 --> 00:11:20,000
What else you got?
223
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,000
Hmm, how about...
224
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:27,833
Help! Help! I'm tied up,
and if that wasn't bad enough,
225
00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:29,625
I'm at the edge of the roof!
226
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:34,583
ERNIE: Don't worry, Bianca,
I'll save you!
227
00:11:36,958 --> 00:11:40,333
(screams, scream fades)
228
00:11:44,958 --> 00:11:48,708
Sorry, Bianca!
I'll pray for you!
229
00:11:51,333 --> 00:11:54,875
Okay. Um. There are
no bad ideas,
230
00:11:54,875 --> 00:11:56,583
but that one
is pretty close.
231
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,875
Fine. How about...
232
00:12:01,875 --> 00:12:04,875
BIANCA: Help!
I didn't notice this well
233
00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:08,083
while I was carrying
my macaroni and cheese
to the table,
234
00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:10,291
and now
I've fallen into it!
235
00:12:10,291 --> 00:12:13,416
ERNIE: Don't worry, Bianca,
I'll save you!
236
00:12:16,458 --> 00:12:18,416
Aah!
237
00:12:18,416 --> 00:12:20,125
Ow!
238
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,291
ERNIE: Help! Help us!
We've fallen in the well!
239
00:12:25,291 --> 00:12:28,208
Ooh, you gonna finish
that mac and cheese?
240
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:35,833
Um, you know, there are
just a few problems
with that scenario,
241
00:12:35,833 --> 00:12:41,583
one being that there is
no well in the middle
of the cafeteria.
242
00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:44,833
Fine, Shoot-Down Sally.
243
00:12:46,083 --> 00:12:48,250
You got a better idea
to put 'em together?
244
00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:51,250
You know what,
actually, I do.
245
00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:52,875
No, no, no, no, no.
246
00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:55,000
I am not going
to embarrass myself
247
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,208
by trying to steal
the quarterback's girlfriend.
248
00:12:57,208 --> 00:12:59,458
Come on, Ernie, have
a little faith in yourself.
249
00:12:59,458 --> 00:13:03,208
I have total faith that I do
not measure up to Darien.
250
00:13:04,708 --> 00:13:08,583
That guy is fun
and studly and athletic...
251
00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:11,875
Heck, even I'd go out with him
before I'd go out with me.
252
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,875
Do not forget, okay,
you are a total catch.
253
00:13:15,875 --> 00:13:18,583
All you need is a little bit
of confidence, right?
254
00:13:18,583 --> 00:13:21,708
And stay hydrated.
Here, drink this.
255
00:13:21,708 --> 00:13:24,000
That tastes weird.
What is it?
256
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,166
It's confidence serum.
257
00:13:25,166 --> 00:13:26,500
Howard's been
working on it.
258
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:28,166
It's to help
new agents in the field.
259
00:13:28,166 --> 00:13:30,708
It gives you
a temporary boost
of confidence...
260
00:13:30,708 --> 00:13:33,333
and a couple days of diarrhea,
but you know what,
261
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:35,333
we'll deal with that later.
Here you go.
262
00:13:42,583 --> 00:13:45,083
Hey, Petey,
sorry I'm late. I was...
263
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:50,375
Diane! What are you
doing here?
264
00:13:50,375 --> 00:13:51,708
What does it look like?
265
00:13:51,708 --> 00:13:54,291
I'm here to practice
our magic routine.
266
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:56,958
Don't you mean
our magic routine?
267
00:13:56,958 --> 00:13:58,166
(scoffs)
268
00:13:58,166 --> 00:13:59,375
Pete-dini, work your magic
269
00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:01,375
and make this one disappear,
270
00:14:01,375 --> 00:14:04,875
starting with her big mouth.
271
00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:08,833
I think all those sequins
are cutting off
272
00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,708
the circulation
to your brain.
273
00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:14,250
Tell her who
your assistant is, Petey.
274
00:14:15,583 --> 00:14:19,458
Judy, there's
no easy way to say this.
275
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,833
You're out, she's in.
276
00:14:22,125 --> 00:14:25,958
Hey, I guess there is
an easy way to say it.
277
00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:29,750
You're kicking me
out of our magic act?
278
00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:32,583
Yeah, I'm about
that life.
279
00:14:32,583 --> 00:14:35,833
Your negativity
was just bringing me down!
280
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,208
Fine. Who needs you?
281
00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:39,083
As far as I'm concerned,
you can stick it
282
00:14:39,083 --> 00:14:40,208
in your fin-nin-nin-nin-nin!
283
00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:06,833
Hello, there.
284
00:15:06,833 --> 00:15:09,125
-What's your name?
-Bianca.
285
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:11,166
Well, I'm gonna call
you Booger,
286
00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:15,083
because, baby,
I pick you.
287
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:20,083
-Ernest.
-I'm not touching that!
288
00:15:21,458 --> 00:15:24,166
What's wrong? Did
you hit your head
289
00:15:24,166 --> 00:15:26,125
when you fell
out of heaven?
290
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:29,250
Because, baby,
you're an angel.
291
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:32,291
Yeah, I got the implication.
292
00:15:32,291 --> 00:15:35,083
Look, if you want a girl
to like you,
293
00:15:35,083 --> 00:15:37,333
you can't just spout out
lame pickup lines.
294
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:39,458
And besides,
I'm already seeing someone.
295
00:15:39,458 --> 00:15:42,458
Why didn't you say so?
296
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,416
Well, hello, there.
297
00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:55,291
Is your name Wi-Fi?
298
00:15:55,291 --> 00:15:58,875
Because, baby, I am feeling
the connection.
299
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,708
Uh-oh. Now I'm feeling
the diarrhea.
300
00:16:08,458 --> 00:16:10,833
At least he wasn't
in a well when it happened.
301
00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:16,416
Look, KC, we tried,
but I don't see
302
00:16:16,416 --> 00:16:19,416
anyone coming in between
Bianca and Darien.
303
00:16:20,458 --> 00:16:21,750
Bianca!
304
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,083
Hey, Trey!
305
00:16:26,458 --> 00:16:31,166
Oh, no! Trey Appleton Jr.
is cheating on you!
306
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:34,000
I'm sorry.
307
00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:43,333
So, what did you
do last night?
308
00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:47,208
I was just at home
all alone, catching up
on my reality TV.
309
00:16:47,208 --> 00:16:49,375
Guilty pleasures.
310
00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:50,875
I saw you with Bianca.
311
00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:54,208
Uh, fine. The truth is
312
00:16:54,208 --> 00:16:56,333
when we went
on our double date,
313
00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:58,166
you spent so much time
talking to Darien
314
00:16:58,166 --> 00:17:00,208
that Bianca and I got
to know each other.
315
00:17:00,208 --> 00:17:02,083
Long story short,
we're soulmates
316
00:17:02,083 --> 00:17:04,208
who have been secretly dating
ever since.
317
00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:06,958
What, are you telling me
Bianca is cheating on Darien?
318
00:17:06,958 --> 00:17:11,000
I guess he just doesn't fulfill
her the way Trey Appleton does!
319
00:17:12,333 --> 00:17:14,583
Great, well, now I need
to tell Darien the truth
320
00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:16,083
before he gets hurt again.
321
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:18,000
And you know what,
Howard, you do realize
322
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,166
that she doesn't like you,
she likes Trey Appleton Jr.,
323
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:24,291
somebody who doesn't
actually exist?
324
00:17:24,291 --> 00:17:27,333
Every relationship
has issues, KC.
325
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:34,416
Behold, the Great Pete-dini
326
00:17:34,416 --> 00:17:39,500
will now pull a live rabbit
out of his hat.
327
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:43,375
Fin-nin-nin-nin-nin!
328
00:17:43,375 --> 00:17:45,875
Ew. Poor Mr. Fluffy.
329
00:17:45,875 --> 00:17:48,583
Uh, moving right along.
330
00:17:49,958 --> 00:17:54,083
I will now saw
Diane in half!
331
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:56,291
I can't let him
go through with this.
332
00:17:56,291 --> 00:17:58,375
He could seriously hurt her.
333
00:17:58,375 --> 00:18:00,625
Wait! You can't do this.
334
00:18:00,625 --> 00:18:05,333
Judy, stop trying to ruin my act
'cause you're jealous!
335
00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:07,750
I'm not jealous.
It's just that--
336
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:15,333
Okay, I am jealous.
337
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:18,250
Petey, you're my best friend.
338
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:20,708
I wanna be your assistant.
339
00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:22,458
I wanna be sawed in half.
340
00:18:22,458 --> 00:18:25,083
If that's okay with Diane.
341
00:18:25,083 --> 00:18:27,333
Are you kidding me?
That was my rabbit!
342
00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:30,458
I'm not letting him near me
with that saw.
343
00:18:30,458 --> 00:18:33,291
Diane, there's no easy way
to say this.
344
00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:43,291
(cheering, laughing)
345
00:18:43,291 --> 00:18:45,416
Hey, uh, Darien,
can I talk to you
for a second?
346
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:48,333
(muffled)
Not a good time.
347
00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:49,833
Uh, yeah, I can't
really understand you
348
00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:51,625
with the fries
in your mouth,
349
00:18:51,625 --> 00:18:54,250
so I'm just gonna assume
you said, "Sure, let's talk."
350
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:01,708
Look, I really need
to talk to you about some stuff.
351
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:04,291
KC, stop. You and I
are not together.
352
00:19:04,291 --> 00:19:06,250
We're not even
really friends.
353
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:07,708
I don't need to know
anything, right?
354
00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:09,375
Trey's not my boyfriend.
355
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,166
I pretended that he was
356
00:19:13,166 --> 00:19:15,291
because I wanted
to hang out with you,
357
00:19:15,291 --> 00:19:16,500
and you said that you
had a girlfriend,
358
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,000
so then I said
I had a boyfriend.
359
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,625
And the next thing you know
we're having
360
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:22,083
the most awkward double date
in the whole world,
361
00:19:22,083 --> 00:19:25,750
and, at least,
I know it was for me,
362
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:28,583
because I still like you.
363
00:19:30,083 --> 00:19:32,583
KC, I should probably
tell you that--
364
00:19:32,583 --> 00:19:34,166
No-- Let me finish, okay?
365
00:19:34,166 --> 00:19:37,000
The worst part is
Trey and Bianca...
366
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,250
they're cheating on us.
367
00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:42,000
Well, I mean...
368
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,875
technically Bianca's
cheating on you
369
00:19:43,875 --> 00:19:46,291
because I'm
not really with Trey,
but that's not the point.
370
00:19:46,291 --> 00:19:50,291
The point is it's my fault
because I introduced them,
371
00:19:50,291 --> 00:19:51,708
and now once again
I hurt you,
372
00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:53,458
and you probably
hate my guts
373
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:56,458
because you're
probably heartbroken.
374
00:19:56,458 --> 00:19:59,375
(hissing laughter)
375
00:19:59,375 --> 00:20:01,416
Okay, you cry funny.
376
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:06,416
KC, I've gotta tell
you something.
377
00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:09,166
Bianca is my cousin.
378
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:12,000
Ew, you're dating
your cousin?
379
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,000
No. No, of course not.
380
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,333
She was pretending
to be my girlfriend.
381
00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:18,333
Ew, that's still gross.
382
00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:22,708
When you told me you
wanted to hang out again,
383
00:20:22,708 --> 00:20:24,416
I guess I panicked.
384
00:20:24,416 --> 00:20:26,375
The last time, KC...
385
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:30,208
you really hurt me,
386
00:20:30,208 --> 00:20:32,625
so I just said I was
with someone else.
387
00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:36,125
Wow, I cannot believe
you lied to me about Bianca.
388
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:40,208
Really, KC? Really?
389
00:20:41,875 --> 00:20:44,458
Okay, I forgive you.
390
00:20:44,458 --> 00:20:47,000
I'm sorry
about the Trey thing.
391
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,458
Well, in retrospect,
I guess it makes sense.
392
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:52,708
But he didn't really
seem like your type.
393
00:20:54,458 --> 00:20:57,708
That's 'cause he's not,
but you are.
394
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,458
Okay, so you really don't
want to have anything
to do with me, do you?
395
00:21:05,458 --> 00:21:08,583
(sighs)
That's the problem.
396
00:21:08,583 --> 00:21:11,708
I can't help it,
but I do.
397
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,166
But I'm also scared.
398
00:21:15,166 --> 00:21:18,250
So maybe
we can take it slow,
399
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:19,625
like,real slow.
400
00:21:19,625 --> 00:21:22,833
Like, maybe we can
just try being friends,
401
00:21:22,833 --> 00:21:25,583
and then we'll see
how that goes. Hmm?
402
00:21:25,583 --> 00:21:28,375
All right, yeah,
I'm cool with that.
403
00:21:28,375 --> 00:21:31,375
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
404
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,583
(whooping)
405
00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:34,583
Cut it out!
406
00:21:37,583 --> 00:21:38,583
Rob, your name's on TV.
28021
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