Original subtitles

All right, everybody,

for lunch I have made a spiralized beet noodle

with a little bit of whipped feta.

Honey, this looks delicious.

I can't wait to dig in.

I can't wait to dig a hole and bury this mess.

Dang!

Sorry, but I don't think that whipped feta

is the culinary equivalent of...

[circuits buzzing]

Uh, guys, I think something's wrong.

Yeah, it's called spiralized beet noodles.

No, I'm talking about Judy.

She's frozen.

[beeping]

Memory almost full.

Guys, when Judy's memory is full,

she's programmed to return to The Organization

and upload all her memories.

Wait. Ernie, are you saying

everything that Judy has done--

more importantly, everything she's seen us do--

is about to be revealed to The Organization?

That is what I'm saying.

[all] Uh-oh!

Sorry, but I cannot let my little sister turn into Big Brother.

Joke's on you. My memory drive is in my foot.

Guys, don't just stand there!

Help me with this robot!

Pull, pull, pull!

[all] Whoa!

Whoa!

♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪

♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nobody keep their head so cool ♪

♪ I always find a way, a way out of the fire ♪

♪ But don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪

♪ I'm not perfect, so many things I ♪

♪ Want to tell you, but I ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

♪ Living my life on red alert ♪

♪ Doing my thing, gonna make it work ♪

♪ Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless ♪

♪ But I always got your back ♪

♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪

♪ I got to find out who I am ♪

♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪

♪ It's all part of the plan ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

Ha. See that?

Ernie's not the only one that can do the technical stuff.

One problem. I can see my butt.

Oops.

[whirring]

Much better, except I still see a butt.

Oh. Where?

It's over by the mirror.

Why don't you go look at it?

[fake laughing]

Very funny, Judy.

You know what else makes people laugh?

Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

[laughing] Stop it.

-Stop it! -Ow!

I warned you.

-[laughing] -Okay, excuse me,

but am I the only on here who is worried

about getting kicked out of The Organization? Again?

She's right. We need to take a look

at all the footage Judy has stored on her foot.

Ha ha! Footage.

Get it? Footage?

Judy, do you mind?

My pleasure.

Ow!

It's time to switch to Bluetooth.

All right, let's get to work.

Now we need to delete anything that Judy saw us do

that we don't want The Organization to see.

Oh, it's not just what I've seen.

I've got cameras everywhere.

Uh, just out of curiosity,

there aren't cameras in the pantry, are there?

Of course not, Spongy Cakes At 3 a.m. Guy.

I sleep eat. It's not my fault.

Okay, first things first,

we need to get rid of all the footage

where I tell Marisa that we're spies.

Oh, and the part where I don't memory spray Marisa

because she knows we're spies.

Oh, and the part where she gets involved with us being spies.

So basically everything with Marisa in it.

So what I'm hearing is,

we're about to see a Marisa movie!

No, what you're hearing is

you're about to get cut from the Cooper Movie.

Okay, never mind that now.

KC, we need to do something

that we've never been able to do before.

Get rid of Marisa.

No offense.

Some taken.

All right, um... I'm going to spray you now,

and you're gonna forget everything that happened

in the last six hours.

When you wake up, chances are

you're still gonna be mad at me,

and you're not gonna want to be my friend anymore.

And even though you won't like me,

I will always love you.

[whimpering]

Okay. I think that I'm ready.

I know that was hard for you, KC.

'Cause it sure was hard for me.

But we didn't have a choice.

I get it.

I mean, Marisa could never know the truth about us.

I'm proud of you, honey.

Mm-hmm.

[whispering] Marisa?

All clear.

Mm, what was that, vanilla?

With a hint of lavender.

Nice. Fake memory erasing spray

might be my new signature scent.

Hey!

Guys, look, Marisa!

Yes! Marisa came to save us!

Wait. Marisa came to save us?

How did Marisa know we needed saving?

And how exactly is she going to rescue us?

Marisa? Break the glass!

[no sound]

[clangs twice]

Come on, Marisa, you can do this, okay?

Try something.

What the heck is she doing?

Showing us what a big mouth she has?

Because we already knew that.

No. Know what, she's right.

She's not dumb. She's smart.

She's also someone whose grandma made her take opera lessons.

[holding piercing note]

Amazing!

Yes!

One tailgate party.

Admit it-- not only do I have party-dar,

but I did help you on this mission,

and I would be a good spy!

Yeah, Marisa, could you say that a little louder?

I don't think they heard you at the University of China.

Wait. Whoa, whoa.

There's a better party across town.

Live band. Cute, age-appropriate drummer.

Clarissa out.

Wow. I can't believe she recorded everything.

Well, that's not entirely bad.

Maybe we can all watch that time

I was in the school play and starred

as Willy Loman in Death of a Salesman.

Death of an Audience is what they should have called it.

Look, I think you guys are actually really lucky.

Judy is like a walking, talking family album--

except my family album doesn't make fun of me as I look through it.

It should.

I don't know, it is kind of fun just to look back.

I mean, so much of what we do,

we're not supposed to talk about ever again.

Hey, if we're taking a walk down memory lane,

I'll never forget that assignment in Rio.

Ah, that was fun.

Yeah, Dad, that wasn't an assignment.

We were on the run from a crazed killer.

Well, we survived.

That's always fun.

It's true. We've done a lot of cool missions.

A couple of them I even got to leave the van for.

And forgot to put the emergency brake on,

and the van rolled away.

Can we just focus on the positive?

He's right. My favorite missions have always been the ones

we've done as a family.

Yeah, we are at our best when we're together.

And Ernie's not in charge of putting the emergency brake on.

Hey, remember this?

Okay, I have a visual on you guys.

Can everyone hear me? Ah-choo!

[all] Bless you!

I guess everyone can hear me.

I have a visual on the targets.

It's time to bake the biscuits!

What does that even mean?

I'm trying to come up with a catchphrase.

The guy in the van always has a catchphrase.

Well, catch a new phrase.

-Wow. -Whoa!

[appreciative whistle]

[pleased chatter]

Hi-dee-ho, there, Bung Hillian!

My family and I are from out of town.

We live in Toledo, Ohio

and we're on our way to Williamsburg, Virginia.

You know, where they churn butter the old-fashioned way.

With a churner!

All right, that's enough out of you, Sparky.

[forced chuckle]

Anyway, as I was saying, we're lost.

I can't find Route 60.

Now I've misplaced a lot of things in my day, by golly,

but never a highway!

Think maybe you can help me out? I've got my map here. It's in my fanny pack.

You ever seen...?

Hey! I've been on my hog for the past few hours.

So what does it take to get a little sarsaparilla around here?

Travel back in time?

Well, then I'll take a lemonade. Make it a double.

[laughter]

-Ahh, good times. -Yeah.

Delete, delete, delete. Delete, delete, delete.

Wait. Delete, delete, delete. Delete.

Uh-oh. You've just deleted our assignment at the circus.

So?

So it was a major mission.

Agent Johnson will notice that that footage is gone.

Okay. No big deal. Dad, all you gotta do

is drag the arrow back into the trash bin

where you put the other memories,

and then just pull 'em back out to the desktop.

Wait. It's not in the trash bin anymore.

That's because you permanently deleted it!

Wait a minute.

Are you saying that we cannot recover that footage?

What part of "permanently deleted" do you not understand?

Uh, actually, you know what, Judy?

I'm going to have to disagree with you.

As my mom and the makers of Compute Nanny would attest,

nothing is ever permanently deleted off your computer.

Learned that one the hard way.

Okay, let's not pay attention to the one

with the $5 million built-in operating system

and take the word of a girl

who thinks rebooting happens in a shoe store.

Okay, so what I'm hearing

is that it's permanently deleted.

Guys, this isn't good.

I mean, Agent Johnson is gonna know that we're tampering with evidence.

What are we gonna do?

Okay, guys, all we need is somebody to blame it on, right?

We need a fall guy,

somebody who is totally expendable,

completely unsuspecting.

Ernie, uh, do you mind leaving the room

for a few minutes while we have a brief conversation

behind your back?

Sure, no problem. I'll just be--

Hey! Wait a minute!

Tampering with evidence is going to get us

kicked out of the Organization.

Yeah, well,

it doesn't have to be all of us.

K.C., for the last time,

your brother is not taking the fall...

unless he loves us.

I got it. I know how we can recover the footage

so Johnson doesn't know that we deleted anything. Okay, how?

We'll recreate the circus mission in front of a green screen.

Dad, find a camera.

I'll set up the tightrope from the kitchen island to the couch.

K.C., go put on your most colorful bathing suit.

Marisa, how's your Monrovian accent?

[bad Monrovian accent] It's incredible!

Good enough.

You'll play Lazlo, the tightrope guy.

Yes.

Mom, do you still have that ceramic tiger

that you made in your pottery class?

I'm gonna need you to stand behind it and roar.

Everybody ready? Let's do this.

You know, Ernie, I gotta say, I'm impressed.

-Thank you! -Yeah, this is the dumbest idea you've ever had.

And believe me, brother, you have had a lot of dumb ideas.

And if you don't believe me...

let's take a look.

[muttering] ...some here.

Our first step is to lure Zane out in the open.

Any ideas?

I know. We'll film a commercial

advertising one of those million-dollar sweepstake prizes.

We'll pump it to Zane's cable system a hundred times a day

until he can't help but enter the contest.

Once he subscribes to the three magazines

and sends in his entry form,

he'll move to the semi-final rounds.

Eventually we'll declare him the winner,

and when he comes to collect his prize,

we'll jump in and grab him and put him in prison.

Just one problem.

We're gonna need one of those giant novelty checks.

Yeah...that's the one problem with that plan.

Bro, I know you're gonna do absolutely great

leading this mission.

It should be pretty easy, though.

All we gotta do is break into Nelson Monroe's condo,

get the SD card containing all the crucial information, and then get out.

That is the standard procedure.

But where's the pizzazz?

The creativity?

The... wow factor?

Ernie, is that a...

Handmade scale model of Monroe's condo,

built entirely with popsicle sticks?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Oh, I forgot to... [gasps]

Brett Willis.

Let me explain.

There's nothing to explain.

You almost destroyed my family.

Now you will be destroyed.

Are you done?

Not yet.

Now I'm done.

[all laughing]

Oh, that's cool.

I'm not the only one who does stupid stuff, you know.

Oh, well, I sure hope you're not referring to me.

Well, if the clown shoe fits, go ahead and wear it.

Uh!

Excuse me!

Is anybody in this family

gonna stick up for me here?

[all muttering]

Seriously? When have I ever done something stupid?

All right, people.

Settle in, put your feet up, and relax.

This could be longer than all the Harry Potter movies put together.

Phew.

Good night.

Hey, everybody.

Um, I will be talking about the Industrial Revolution.

While today we enjoy many of the modern conveniences,

uh, that, um, the-- the--

mo-modern conveniences that-that...

[heart pounding]

-[slo-mo laughter] -[gulps]

[retches]

Well, you definitely got it in the bag.

Wow, you have really soft hair.

K.C., that's the bear.

Oh. [chuckles] Right.

My bad.

[all laughing]

I'm sorry. Was I mistaken?

Was that not you doing all those ridiculous things?

Oh, please. You're acting like you never barfed in a purse before.

It was a laptop bag, and you know it!

Oh, does it really matter?

Yes, it does matter!

Okay, stay focused!

And stop arguing.

No, stay focused.

Well, they can't focus because they're arguing.

There's not enough going on?

You really want to make an issue out of this?

I don't know where they get it from.

It's not my fault those two are always arguing.

Are you saying it's my fault?

I'm saying it's not my fault.

-[both arguing] -They don't know where we get it from.

Well, look at that. I do!

-Okay. -Hey, give me the thing.

That's all right. We don't need to see that.

There we go.

And there it is.

We're running out of time, Craig.

The time it takes me to stop doing what I'm doing

to listen to you say we're running out of time

is time I could be using to figure this thing out.

That's exactly what you said

when you were deactivating that bomb in Argentina.

Your eyebrows grew back, didn't they?

You always do this, Craig.

Always, Kira? I always do this?

As in every time I try to open a bank vault

my kids are trapped in while their oxygen runs out?

Now, please.

Give me some space.

I can feel you breathing on the back of my neck.

Did you find me anything to eat?

I've been working out for two hours, and I'm starving.

I found some soup.

Soup?! How am I supposed to eat that and keep moving, baby?

Let's try.

Okay, wait, wait.

Be careful. Wait, wait, wait!

[both talking at once]

I'm trying to do it.

Wait. Wait a minute. Now I can't see.

Let me try and... Wait, here.

Slow down!

If you would bring your face down!

Never mind, never mind. I'm full.

Thank you. I'm not hungry anymore.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, so we had a few minor disagreements.

And some major ones.

And some major ones.

But people who really love each other--

Can argue and still get past it.

Ohh! That's right.

My big, bad-- whoo!-- spy daddy!

[laughter]

Ecch! That was more disgusting

than when K.C. puked in a bag.

[knock on door]

-Who is it? -Agent Johnson.

Ooh. We need to hide Judy.

-Okay, I'll collapse her. -It only lasts two minutes.

-Why would it last two minutes? -That's what the manual said.

-Why would it say that? -I don't know!

I didn't write it, I just read it.

Well, put her foot back on.

Uh, coming! Just one second!

[whirring sound]

[Judy] Ow! I can still feel that!

Sorry, my bad.

Hey, what about Marisa?

Shove her under the couch too!

Or I can just go out the front door.

Seriously, we haven't talked about me in forever,

so I'm so over this.

Just go.

Ready?

Okay.

Agent Johnson! My man!

[happy exclamation] Uh... okay.

What you, uh, what you doin' here?

I'm here to pick up Judy. Where is she?

She's not under the couch.

[nervous chuckle]

Well?

Well what?

What is wrong with all of you?

I came here to pick up Judy for her scheduled upload.

For the last time, where is she?

Uh, she left to meet you at the Organization

an hour ago.

I just came from the Organization.

She wasn't there.

Excuse me, Agent Johnson,

are you saying that you don't know where Judy is?

That's exactly what I'm saying.

Okay, so you're admitting to losing

a multimillion-dollar, state-of-the-art robot.

No, I didn't say I lost her.

Ohh! I get it.

You're accusing us of losing her.

[overlapping chatter]

No, no, I-I--

Where is your proof, Agent Johnson?

Where is your proof?

Where is that?

You're right, I blew it.

I should probably go back to the Organization and look for Judy.

Yeah, you probably should,

but you're the boss, so, you know, it's your decision.

Yeah. Yeah.

[whirring sound]

[Judy] Ow!

What was that?

Raccoons!

Well, I am just shocked

at the level of deception in this family.

I am disappointed in all of you.

Really? Well, you're acting all innocent now,

but you have pulled plenty of your own stuff

these past few years, Miss Mouth.

I don't know what you're referring to.

[incredulous chuckle] Well, shall I play the video for you?

Oh, I think I shall.

Connect your foot.

[foot snaps into place]

[whirring sound]

[trilling sound]

Hello. I'm J.U.D.Y.

I'll be posing as the adorable little sister that everyone wished they had.

But in reality, I'm here to assist you on missions.

I can calculate the risk of any dangerous scenario.

I speak 47 languages, and in a pinch,

I can be used as a flotation device.

[K.C. laughs]

What an adorable little robot.

[shouts]

R2D2 is a robot, honey, I'm a J.U.D.Y.

Junior Undercover Digital Youth.

And do yourself a favor, don't get all up in my grill again.

[laughs joyfully]

Please, please, please.

Ernie, is that you?

Yes, it's me!

You remember me?

More important, you remember you?

Yes, of course. I'm Judy,

and you're my big brother Ernie.

[relieved sigh]

Wow. I thought for a minute

I'd never reprogram you right.

I'm sorry. Reprogram me?

What does that even mean?

It means you were malfunctioning,

and I needed to reprogram you.

Still not following.

You're a robot.

I'm a robot?!

[shrieking]

What have you done to me?

Help! Somebody help!

I'm a monster!

[all laughing]

-She is some mess! -Always.

-Judy, what's wrong? -Yeah, you okay?

Yeah, it's just... those are my memories.

It's what makes me a part of this family.

If you delete them, it's like you're deleting our journey--

almost like you're deleting me.

Judy, it's not about footage on a tape, okay?

It's about how we feel about each other.

Yeah, and the way we have each other's back.

The way that we care about each other.

The way we would do anything for each other.

That's what family is about.

And I promise you, there is absolutely no one

who could ever delete that.

K.C., that was so sweet and touching...

and totally useless!

Did you forget that I'm a robot?

Once things are deleted, I'll never remember it again!

You know, she's right. We don't have a choice.

We're just gonna have to leave all her memories

and suffer the consequences.

Or we can back up all that incriminating evidence

onto a separate hard drive,

send her to the Organization for an upload,

then reinstall all her memories when she gets back.

Hmm. You could have mentioned that

about an hour ago!

I would have, but you kept telling me to leave the room!

No, I didn't.

Really? You don't think so?

Would you like me to replay the footage?

No, no, no, no. Just... bring it in, guys.

[happy chuckles]

[woman] Rob, your name's on TV!