All language subtitles for K_C_ Undercover_S03E05_Web of Lies.en.cc

Okay, guys, my SAT score's
been posted online.

My entire college future
depends on what happens
in the next minute.

Hold up.
Don't check them yet.

Don't check them yet.

It's Kira,

and I am live with my baby,

who is about
to get her SAT scores!

And this is what it looks like

when someone
gets a perfect score

of 1600!

Although, I'd also be happy
with a 1590!

And I'm okay with a 1580.

"Dear K.C. Cooper,
your SAT score is...

1060"?

Is 1060 a good SAT score?

1060? No way.

We got
the exact same score!

We're SAT twins!

Aah, no!

I'll take that as a no.

♪ Oh, when danger
comes for you ♪

♪ You know
I'll stand beside you ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their head so cool ♪

♪ I always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪

♪ But don't tell nobody,
tell nobody ♪

♪ I'm not perfect,
so many things I ♪

♪ Want to tell you, but I ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

♪ Living my life on red alert ♪

♪ Doing my thing,
gonna make it work ♪

♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪

♪ But I always got your back ♪

♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪

♪ I got to find out who I am ♪

♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪

♪ It's all part of the plan ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

I don't understand
how this could happen to me.

I've been taking
practice SAT tests

since I was in,
like, third grade for fun.

-[Marisa] It doesn't
make any sense.
-Thank you.

What kind of third grader
thinks it's fun

to take
an SAT practice test?

The kind that
should've gotten a 1600,

not a 10... 1060.

It doesn't makes sense,
you know?

I mean, how could someone
as smart as me get
the same score as you?

No offense.

Oh, none taken.

You may not like your 1060,
but I'm lovin' mine.

My parents are actually
talking about buying me a car.

I need to stop obsessing
over this test, okay?

Maybe we should talk
about something else.

You know, anything else.

Well, there has been a favor
I've been meaning to ask you.

Yeah, for sure, just name it.

Okay.
I was wondering

if you would you be willing

to talk
to The Organization about
officially recruiting me?

[laughing]

You want them to recruit--

Oh, Marisa, that's good.
Thank you.

I really needed a good laugh.

Oh, you're serious.

Look, you're
always telling me
to set goals for myself,

and I think
I would be a good spy.

I mean, let's face it.
I look amazing in wigs.

Yeah, Marisa, but there's
a little bit more
to it than that.

So I'll learn.

Okay, um... how do I put this?

Uh, you're just not exactly
what they're looking for.

Meaning?

Meaning The Organization has,
like, a certain standard.

Like?

Like in the area
of cognitive thinking.

-Not following.
-Book learning.

Still not gettin' it.

Yeah, that's
kind of the problem.

Um, sometimes you tend
to just not get it.

[chuckles]
Wait, I'm sorry.

Are you saying that
I'm not smart enough
to be a spy?

Okay, um,
how do I put this nicely?

Um...

no, no, you're not.

That's the nicely-est way
you could have put it?

-It's nice--
-Okay, I may not be good
with fancy words,

but don't forget,
I am the one who saved
your family

from the abandoned hospital.

I am the one
who came up with the plan

to catch that bird smuggler
in Rio.

Oh, and what's
that other thing? Oh, yeah.

I'm the one who has
the same exact SAT score
as you.

That's not the nicely-est thing
you could've said!

Hi, Ernie.

Zoe. What
are you doing here?

I got assigned a mission

to take down some smugglers
operating out of a warehouse.

I get to pick a partner,

and I was thinking
this Friday night
maybe we could...

I'd love to go
on a mission with you.

-Great. It's a date.
-All right.

It's a date?

♪ It's a date ♪

♪ It's a date ♪

♪ It's a date ♪

What are you
so excited about?

Wait.

Never mind. I don't care.

♪ It's a date ♪

♪ It's a date ♪

Hmm. With any luck,

the bad guys will
stay locked up forever.

Yeah, for sure.

And hopefully
those bad guys will stay
locked up forever.

K.C., if I wanted
to talk to someone

that doesn't listen to me,
I have a husband.

I'm sorry. It's just my head's
not really in it today.

Oh, well,
why don't I call Crime

and tell it
to take the day off?

I'm kind of freaked out
about my SAT scores.

I mean, I did so good
on my practice tests.

It just--
It doesn't make sense.

I know a 1060 for a student
like you must be disappointing,

but you've got
a lot on your plate.

Wait a minute.
How did you know my score?

-You just told me.
-No, I didn't.

-Yes, you did.
-No, I didn't.

-Yes, you did.
-No, I did not.

I can't even say
that score out loud.

I can't even listen to my
favorite radio station anymore,

1059 Plus One.

K.C., I really feel for you.

I know how upsetting
this must be.

But don't let it
get you down, honey.

Thank you, Beverly.
I appreciate that.

That's, like,
the sweetest thing you've--

You hacked into the system and
lowered my score, didn't you?

That is absolutely not true.

I had Phil from I.T. do it.

Why would you guys
do this to me?

K.C., less than one percent
of the population

gets a perfect SAT score.

It would put
a spotlight on you.

I got a perfect score?

Perfect score!
I knew it!

And no one else will.

Including the schools
that I applied to.

How am I supposed to get
into the college of my choice?

We invested a lot in you.

Our choice is
that you don't go at all.

Yeah, well, I don't
really think that's
your decision to make.

Tell you what,
you want a diploma,

we'll get you
any diploma you want.

Just name it.
Harvard? Princeton?

You want to keep it real?
Howard?

I can print it out
for you right now.

And it's really authentic.

Look.
That's how I got mine.

Well, I found out
why my score was so low.

Beverly had it changed.

She what? That's it.

I'm going down there
and straightening out her wig.

No, no, Mom. Okay?

I got a better idea,
okay?

I'll just introduce her
to a couple
of my friends...

Betty and Joan.

K.C., relax,
and stop naming your fists.

If Beverly did it, she
probably had a good reason.

Dad, why are you
defending her?

You're supposed
to be on my side.

Well... [mumbles]

Unless you knew
about it, didn't you?

Didn't you?

No, of course not.
Craig, tell her.

You did, didn't you?

[pitch rising]
No. This is the first time
I heard about it.

Dad, any time you lie to me,
your voice goes up
two octaves.

-[high pitch] No, it doesn't.
-Yeah, you're lying.

[higher pitch] I am not!

Dad, come on,
how could you do this to me?

Look, it was totally innocent.

One minute I was having
coffee with Beverly,

the next thing you know,
I was hacking into the system

and changing your scores.

She told me Phil
from I.T. did it.

[high pitch] I know.
Right, I tried to stop him,

but he told me...

Okay, look,
what does it even matter?

College is supposed
to prepare you for a good job,

a good career.

You already have
a great career.

-I know.
-Okay.

I mean, I don't know.

Look, it's my decision
to make, okay?

I don't even know
what to say to you.

Look, K-- K.C.

Well, I do.

Craig Cooper, how dare you?

You don't discuss
your daughter's future
with your boss,

you discuss it with your wife.

[K.C.]
And your daughter!

Come on. Why does
K.C. even need
to go to college?

She's brilliant.

It's just four
more years of stuff
she already knows.

It's also four years
where she can have a little fun.

Discover who she is.

I mean, when else is
she going to live in a dorm

and learn to get along
with a roommate
she doesn't like?

That is good experience.

For what?

For when she gets married!

Mmm.

Ah.

Ernie, you--

Wow. That stinks.

Yet it's still better
than it usually
smells in here.

What you getting
all fancy for?
You going on a date?

Zoe asked me out
on a solo mission.

Ooh. Your first solo mission
with a girl.

Please. I've been on solo
missions with girls before.

I meant one that
wasn't a blood relative.

K.C. and Mom
are already mad at you.

You really wanna
go three for three?

Good point.

Ernie, I'm gonna give you
a little fatherly advice, okay?

You're might be
a little nervous,

but just remember,
she already likes you.

She picked you
for this mission,

so you go in there
with a little confidence.

Thanks, Dad.
I really appreciate you
building me up.

Ah, that's
what fathers are for.

Now you get back
in the shower.

The bad guys are gonna
smell you coming a mile away.

Mmm.

So, I have decided to be
the bigger person
and forgive you.

It was either that
or find a new best friend.

And, frankly,
I'm just too lazy for that.

Plus you missed me?

You know you did.
You missed me.

-You missed me.
-And I missed you.

So you want to grab
a movie later?

I would,
but I gotta get some rest.

I gotta sneak out
in the middle of the night.

What? You have no idea
how long I've waited

to hear
you say those words.

So what kind of trouble
you getting into?

Re-taking my SATs.

And you ruined it.

It turns out,
I did get a perfect score.

Oh, yay.

But The Organization
changed it

because they don't want me
going to college.

So my last chance
to take it is tomorrow,

but it's all the way
in upstate New York,

and it's first thing
in the morning.

Interesting.
You want to go to college,

but The Organization
is trying to stop you.

Sort of like
how I want to be a spy

and you're trying
to stop me.

You're just not cut out
to be a spy, okay?

Well, maybe you're
not cut out to go to college.

Well, what does that mean?

That I think I would be
a lot better at going undercover

than you would be
at getting into a sorority

or having fun
at a college party.

Like I would ever go
to a sorority or parties.

Then what is the point
of even going to college?

To learn!

[laughs]

To learn! That is good.

And I'm the one
who's not smart.

Okay, Marisa, look,
I'm sorry if I hurt
your feelings, okay?

No, you know what?
Just stop apologizing,

'cause clearly
you're not sorry.

So take the test or don't.
Go to college or don't.

Keep stomping on people's dreams
with your gigantic feet
or don't.

I really don't care anymore.

Okay, I understand you're mad.

Doesn't mean you have to talk
about my gigantic feet!

I mean, my regular,
proportionately sized feet.

Hey, why aren't you
using our bathroom?

[speaking angrily,
words unclear]

Oh, come on.
You're not still mad
at me, are you?

[speaking angrily,
words unclear]

Hey, hey, hey, that kind
of language is uncalled for.

Craig, you made a decision
about K.C.'s future without me.

We're supposed to be a team.

-Now, last I checked,
there's no "U" in team.
-Don't you mean "I"?

You keep correcting me,
and there'll be no you
in our bedroom.

Okay. I made a mistake.

I'm sorry. Really.

Well, I am not the only one
you owe an apology.

K.C. was really upset,

and she hasn't been out
of her room all night.

[Craig] All right,
I'll go talk to her.

No, Craig, just--
just let her cool down.

Guess you're right.

Like she'd ever try to kick me
out of our bedroom.

Ha! Homey don't play that!

Ahh.

Whoa! [coughing]

Oh, Ernie!
This is athlete's foot spray!

At the corner, turn left.

There should be a vent
that you can access.

[Zoe]
I don't know why you insisted
on staying behind in the van.

I like staying behind.

I happen to have
the perfect behind for it.

I'm in.

Oh, no.
I've been compromised.

Ernie, I need--

Zoe, are you okay?!

Okay, Ernie, time to put
on your big boy pants

and go save your woman.

I mean, partner.

Hang on, Zoe,
your partner-man is coming!

-So where we going?
-Oh!

Judy, what are you doing
in the car this late at night?

Taking all the change
from the cup holder.

Agent Craig thinks
the valet parker
at The Organization is doing it.

At this rate, we're only
a couple of quarters away
from them throwing hands.

[laughing]

Now what are you doing
in the car this late at night?

Okay, looks like
we should be there
in plenty of time

for me to sign in
and take my SAT.

So thanks for not
ratting me out, Judy.

You don't say squat
about those quarters,

I don't say squat about this.

Besides, I'm your sister.

And if you can't count on me,
then who can you count on?

You know,
if you could feel that,
I know you'd be touched.

But I can't,
so stop touching me.

[cell phone rings]

-[beeps]
-Hey, Beverly.

[Beverly] I have
a mission for you, K.C.

We need you to fly in
to Paris

to extract an agent
that's been compromised.

Uh, I'm a little busy
right now.

Can we move it
to tomorrow?

[chuckling] Okay.
Sure, no problem.

Could you do me favor
and jot this number down?

202-555-0155.

Okay, what number is that?

That's the agent's wife.

You can call her and find out
where she'll want the body sent.

Sarcasm noted.

Look, uh, Beverly,
I'm with Marisa
right now,

and she has me
on this road trip

to some outlet mall
in upstate New York

to save a dollar
on a pair of leggings.

Look, I just--
I don't think I'm going
to make it there in time.

Well, see
what you can do, K.C.

If you can't make it, I guess
I'll have to send in Garcia.

Okay, um, I'll do my best
to get there in time.

So parking the car is your way
of doing your best to get there?

I don't know
what to do, okay?

Maybe I should listen
to Beverly and go back,

or maybe I shouldn't,

because this is my last time
to take my SAT,

and without the right score,

I can't get into
the college of my choice.

But Beverly doesn't
want me to go to college,
which isn't fair,

because I don't even know
what I want to do.

It's just--
I mean, it's ridiculous.

I knew I would
have to make a decision
about my future.

I just didn't think
it would have to be
this very second.

I don't really know
what to do.

What does your gut tell you?

To throw up that truck stop
veggie burger I just ate.

Truckers
don't eat veggie burgers.

What was I thinking?

Okay, what does
your head tell you?

That if I stop thinking
about the veggie burger
that maybe I won't throw up.

I think you need to talk this
through with someone.

How about your mom?

[Kira's voice]
Baby, keep driving.

If anyone was meant
for college, it's you.

Fine, how about your dad?

[Craig's voice]
K.C., do what you gotta do.

But I prefer you do
what I want you to do.

Turn this car around!
College is not for you!

Or your brother.

[Ernie's voice] Wow,
you must really be desperate

if you're
coming to me for help.

Or you could
just take my advice.

Don't worry about
what anyone else thinks.

Just do what you think
is right for you.

Thanks, Judy.

-You know what?
-[engine starts]

I know exactly
what direction I'm heading.

[Ernie] Don't worry, Zoe.
I'm here to save you.

[thud]

[groans]

As soon as someone saves me.

Ernie, you got company.

Freeze, or I'll shoot!

Or should I say, "Freeze,
and please don't shoot"?

Get him, Ernie.

Rrrr!

Rrrr!
[whimpering]

[man grunts]

All right, now you're
starting to tick me off.

Good one, Ernie.

Time for a party favor.

[Zoe] Whack him!

Whack him till candy
comes out of his ears!

Now tie him up.

Good job, Ernie.

Thanks.

[growling]

Oh, no,
Look out, Ernie!

Thanks for saving me,
Ernie.

It was my pleasure.

You were awesome.

I was, wasn't I?

I was confident.

No, not was.
I am confident.

In fact, I have something
I want to ask you.

Zoe, would you be
my girlfriend?

Really?

Yes. We're good together,

and I'd make a great boyfriend.

I'm sweet and caring and fun.

And I really like you.

Oh, Ernie. I'd love
to be your girlfriend.

All right.

But, unfortunately,
I've been assigned
to a mission

in Antarctica
for the next four years.

Oh.

Will you wait for me?

Well, I spent
the first 16 years solo.

What's another four?

Hey, Marisa.

Okay, I deserved that,

but I owe you an apology.

Okay, another apology.

Okay, another,
another apology.

But this time,
I really mean it.

Okay, I'm listening.

I just want to say that

I'm sorry that
I didn't take you seriously

when you said
you wanted to be a spy.

Ah, I knew
you'd come around.

So you are going to put
in a good word for me

with The Organization.
Thank you.

Uh, no.
Marisa, I'm sorry.

I don't think
you're understanding me.

I mean, I don't feel bad
that I said no.

I just feel bad
about the way that I said it.

I should have never
said that you weren't smart.

No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, this is all wrong.

I want the kind of apology
where you admit
you're wrong,

try to buy back my affection
with a Kleckner's gift card,

and then give me what I want!

Marisa, you're
not meant to be a spy, okay?

If anybody was meant
for college, it's you.

And not just because
you're fun at parties.

College would be a great time
for you to blossom

and come into your own.

College is
what you think I want, K.C.

What about
what I really want?

I don't really think
you know what you want.

And know what I want?

Yes, and it's not being a spy.

So in other words,
you're making
the choice for me.

That's really interesting,
'cause all you've been about

is not having other people
make choices for you.

Marisa, I'm just trying
to protect you.

Well, maybe
I don't need protecting.

Maybe I'm not the dumb,
weak friend that you
seem to think I am.

Marisa, I didn't mean to--

And you don't care
about protecting me.

It is all about you
and what you want.

It is always about you,

and I am so sick of it.
So you know what?

I am making a choice.

I'm backing off
this friendship.

I'm taking a break
from you.

Marisa,
can we just talk?

[chimes]

Oh, man, it's time.
It's time. It's time.

Okay, this is not a drill.

This is not a drill.

[exhales, clears throat]

"Dear K.C. Cooper,
your SAT score is..."

What's up, Dad?

Hey. What
you so happy about?

Um, nothing.

Is everything okay?

Yeah. I mean, I'm not
keeping score or anything,

but, uh, yeah,
everything is...

perfect.

[woman]
Rob, your name's on TV!