Original subtitles

We are gonna be disappearing for a while.

The Organization is sending us to a safe house in Rio de Janeiro.

- ( all arguing ) - Hey, hey, hey!

The whole point of us hiding from Zane

is to stay safe, so can we please not kill each other?

Anybody in this marketplace could be here to eliminate us.

- Hi. I'm Zoe. - That Zoe girl was into me.

Which makes me think she's either an enemy agent or psychotic.

There's nothing shady about her.

It's Zoe. I've made contact.

Excellent. We can eliminate the Coopers once and for all.

Our mission is to stop a ring of international bird smugglers,

and capture the head of the ring.

His name is Passaro Grande, AKA Big Bird.

Cool birds. You must've caught that bird smuggler guy

- and took him down. - Marisa!

Hey, can I try?

I don't think so, honey.

Well, I do.

All right, initializing facial scan of the crowd.

Where are you, Passaro Grande?

- Oh, I know this song. - I do, too.

I think we can do this. On three.

Okay, one little problem. I don't sing.

Oh, that's okay. Just follow my lead.

Maybe I wasn't clear. I won't sing.

Just follow my lead.

Okay, Marisa, I don't think you're hearing me.

Read my lips, okay? KC don't sing.

Follow my lead!

♪ Whoa, whoa, when my baby ♪

♪ When my baby smiles at me ♪

♪ I go to Rio ♪

( off-key ) ♪ De Janeiro ♪

♪ Me salsa fellow ♪

♪ When my baby smiles at me ♪

♪ He shines the lanterns of my life ♪

♪ And I am free at last ♪

♪ Free at last ♪

♪ What a blast ♪

What a blast.

♪ Whoa, when my baby ♪

♪ When my baby smiles at me ♪

♪ I go to Rio ♪

♪ De Janeiro ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

Put your hips into it.

Put a sock into it.

♪ Rio ♪

♪ Rio, Rio de Janeiro ♪

♪ Rio! ♪

Passaro Grande over there!

- He's getting away. - Not this time, he's not.

All right, Big Bird, time to lock you up in your own cage.

Wait, wait, wait. We can make a deal, right?

You want a bird.

I got a bird that can insult you in five different languages.

Yeah, no, thank you. I got a little sister who can do the same thing.

I'm not going to jail.

All right, Passaro Grande, you are...

( squawking )

Oh.

Huh. Couldn't have said it better myself.

All right, let's roll.

That's excellent news.

You have the green light to engage.

Operation Good-bye Coopers is a go.

♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪

♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nobody keep their head so cool ♪

♪ I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire ♪

♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪

♪ I'm not perfect ♪

♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪

♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪

♪ Livin' my life, on red alert ♪

♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪

♪ Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless ♪

♪ But I always got your back ♪

♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪

♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪

♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪

♪ It's all part of the plan ♪

I keep it undercover.

I keep it undercover.

So now that we're done with the mission, can we go home?

Maybe we can make our last first day of school.

Yeah, it'll be your last first day of detention.

It's not up to us when we get to leave, Marisa.

It's up to the Organization.

Yeah, my parents should have an update

when they get back from turning in Birdman to the local authorities.

So for now, let's just enjoy the fact that we're safe.

( toilet flushes )

If we're all out here, who just flushed?

I'll bet it's your girlfriend from Kansas here to eliminate us.

Actually, I'm Sheena.

From Canada.

Home of maple syrup, Celine Dion,

and deadly hired assassins.

Oh, and just to be clear,

I'm not sweet, and I don't sing.

Okay, this is the unsafest safe house ever.

Who sent you?

Don't tell them, Sheena. I don't trust them.

You don't have to trust them, Sheena.

You just have to eliminate them.

Oh, yeah, you're right. That's a good point, Sheena.

I'm sorry, I hate to interrupt,

but is one of you gonna tell us who sent you?

That would be Zane.

And that would be pain.

Ooh, that was a good one, Sheena.

Thank you, Sheena. Let's do it again. Get up!

Wait, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Were you talking to me that time?

Is that all you've got?

You've gotta come on with the come on, KC. Get up!

If you want me up so bad, why did you throw me on the ground?

Come on, Ernie, you really gotta work on your aim, bro.

Okay, okay, Ernie, a little help here?

Ooh, I knew that bag would come in handy.

Not gonna lie. That hurt.

Okay. Okay, I'm up, I'm up.

I'm up.

- Boo. - ( shrieks )

You wanna know the difference between me and you?

I'm not cat-pee cuckoo?

No. I'm walking out of here in one piece.

Zoe?!

Aw, frick, there's another one.

I told you Kansas was no good.

You're right, I'm not good.

I'm the best.

I'm starting to think

you're not really here on vacation.

I'm with the Organization.

I've been tracking your family since you arrived in Rio.

I was sent to protect all of you.

Ha! See?

She wasn't pretending to like me so she could kill us.

No, she was doing it 'cause she was ordered to.

I'll take it.

Look, we don't have time for this.

She could have back-up on the way.

You wanna live, follow me, people.

They're running away, Sheena.

That's okay, Sheena.

We'll just catch them.

Oh, this should be fun, Sheena.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Wait, but you did just say it yourself.

Don't correct me.

Okay, Zoe, just out of curiosity,

where the heck are we going?

To the extraction point,

where you'll be taken to your new safe house.

Just keep driving.

And by the way, a little more AC would be great.

The assassins might not have gotten us,

but the humidity is a killer.

I know, right? It is like a sauna in here.

And not in a good, "spend the day at the spa" kind of way.

Tell me about it.

Uh, KC, turn off the headlights.

Uh, yeah, and just to make things a little more interesting,

maybe I should just drive with my eyes closed.

No, that would just be stupid.

Okay, since you wanna call all the shots here,

how about you just take the wheel?

- I'm navigating. - Oh, really?

Legs probably can't reach the pedals.

Look, I'm just trying to be extra cautious

in case we're being followed, so chop-chop.

Okay, Junior. All right.

It's not my first time at the "I've escaped an assassin" rodeo.

I happen to excel at evasive driving.

She also excels at evasive dating.

Not helping, Marisa.

Stop being so stubborn and shut off your headlights.

Just because it wasn't your idea

doesn't mean it's not a good one.

I know what I'm doing.

For the last time, no one is following us.

You haven't lost yet, Sheena! The game is still on.

Sheena, what did we say about talking to yourself?

It's nice to speak to someone of equal intelligence?

Darn right!

But hey, don't repeat that to anyone, okay?

It makes us look full of ourself.

I guess you're right.

We may be deadly, but we do keep it one hundred, okay.

We're under attack, we're under attack!

How did I not see that somebody was behind me?

I'm guessing they were smart enough to turn off their headlights.

Okay, I'll do it.

Little late for that.

Okay, you know what? New plan.

We're getting off this road and driving through the jungle.

Wow, you're just a barrel of bad ideas.

I don't think you should do that.

Yeah, well, I think you're wrong.

Ah! I did it. I lost 'em.

( tires exploding )

Yeah, you lost them, and three of the tires.

- ( tire explodes ) - Wrong again, Zoe.

I lost four of the tires.

This cave will be a perfect place to spend the night.

There's a sentence no one's said in about five million years.

Ooh, I hear a stream.

I'll go fill up the water bottles.

( mockingly ) "Ooh, I hear a stream..."

Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

Oh, you were talking about Zoe.

I hope she brings back some food; I'm starving.

I could literally eat anything at this point.

Well, you two are in luck.

Yep, that's right.

This is dinner, okay? Zoe's not the only one

who knows how to survive in the jungle.

Are you kidding me with that?

Look, it may not be pretty, but it's protein.

No, protein is breaded, fried, and served with a starchy side dish.

I'm not eating bugs.

Why not? You ate boogers until you were six.

They weren't alive.

Just close your eyes, okay. It'll help you get it down.

I'm not worried about getting it down.

I'm worried about keeping it down.

Well, you should be worried about getting it down,

because if you don't, they'll lay eggs in your throat.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Sort of.

Here.

No, no, no. No, no. I'm not eating those.

Marisa, come on, you gotta eat.

You need some energy to trek through this jungle.

No, there's absolutely nothing you can say to make me eat those.

- They'll make your eyelashes grow. - Give 'em to me.

Oh, it is squishy, it is moving,

- and it is biting me back. - Just chew through it, okay.

What are you eating?

Bugs for nutrition.

I'm sure the fact that you're not thinking about that

has you kicking yourself.

If not, I'd be happy to do it for you.

You know, this reminds me of the time I was trekking

through the hot jungles of Central America,

helping to bring down a corrupt monarchy.

I spent three days on a bare sustenance diet.

- Know what I learned? - Apparently not how to get to the point.

That when you're on the run, always bring protein bars.

I'm gonna kill you!

Sh! Don't move.

If that Brazilian jumping spider bites you,

you'll be temporarily paralyzed from the neck down.

Well, there goes dessert.

We'll start the hike to the extraction point at sunrise.

Ernie, you wanna help me find some firewood?

You mean, just the two of us,

alone out there in the dark jungle?

I thought you'd never ask.

Protein bars.

They must've changed survival training with her class.

Young agents are soft, I tell you, soft.

♪ We just caught the bad guy, we just caught the bad guy ♪

♪ Where the heck's the window? ♪

♪ Where the heck's the window? ♪

♪ Where the heck's the children? ♪

Where the heck's the children?!

Kira, this doesn't look good.

Doesn't sound good either.

Somebody's a little pitchy.

You wanna help?

Yeah. ( sings operatic note )

Now that's where you wanna be.

Analyze the crime scene, girl.

I found a footprint.

Too big to be KC, and too small to be Ernie.

See, I do help.

Maybe it's Marisa's footprint.

No, this is a work boot.

We all know she don't like to do any work.

But it does belong to a young woman.

I bet it's that girl that was pretending to like Ernie.

KC was right about her.

I found some DNA on this fabric.

If we can match who it belongs to, we can find KC and Ernie.

- And Marisa. - Yeah, her too.

♪ Let's go out and find them, let's go out and find them ♪

♪ Let's go out and find them... ♪

So we're not doing that anymore?

BOTH: No, we're not doing that.

What's that, KC?

You need a break?

Okay, we should probably stop here and rest.

You know, for KC's sake.

Okay, we'll rest a few minutes, then head due north.

Actually, due north is that way.

- I think you're mistaken. - I think I'm mis-not-staken.

All I need is to get on this tree,

and see where the sun is.

It's not my fault.

The tree's a little wet and slippery.

A wet, slippery tree in a rain forest.

Who would've seen that coming?

I'll do it. The trick is using your legs.

Wow, she is so much better at that than you.

Whose side are you on?

Why are you throwing so much shade at her?

Because I can't throw a rock at her and not get in trouble.

How can you guys stand being around someone

who constantly insists on being perfect?

I don't know.

Why don't we ask anyone who's ever met you, Miss Perfect?

I never said I was perfect.

She's the one talking about she's perfect.

North is that way. I was right.

Mm, perfect.

Good news, Zane.

I've located their Jeep in the jungle.

That would be wonderful,

if your mission was to find and kill their Jeep.

Hang up and keep tracking them.

I'm on it. Ugh, he is such a tool.

Sheena, he's your boss, okay, show some respect.

Fine. I'll just pretend I respect the tool.

Sick burn, Sheena.

You didn't disconnect.

I can still hear you.

Oh. On it, sir.

Ugh. The way this is going, I'm going to miss

the entire first week of school.

Yeah, well, normally, you miss the entire first month,

so this is kind of an improvement.

It is not funny, KC.

The one time I actually want to go to school,

I am stuck on a spy mission in the jungles of Brazil.

Why does this always happen to me?

Always? Always, Marisa? This always happens to you?

Is this some type of recurring thing

that you failed to mention to me?

Marisa, if it's that big of a deal,

the Organization can always go into the school's database

and change your attendance record.

While they're in there, can they give me a B average?

They're good, but they're not that good.

I'm tired. Are we there yet?

Uh, yeah, yeah, Ernie. Actually, this is our backyard.

It's just, we've been gone so long,

so it's overgrown with palm trees and stuff,

so you might wanna actually bring out

your garden tools and clean up around here.

A simple no would suffice.

Oh, look, a waterfall. How beautiful.

Hey, I say we take a break and go swimming.

That does sound refreshing.

But we don't have any swimsuits.

Fortunately, I brought my birthday suit.

Okay, I'm shuttin' this down right now.

Has everybody forgotten that we are on the run,

looking for an extraction point?

What's wrong with a little break?

Everything's fine, and we're in no danger.

( Sheena yelling )

Ah, well, look at that. The one time little Miss Perfect's wrong.

Now...

whose coconut should be next?

And just in case there's any confusion,

by coconut, I mean head.

Very witty, Sheena.

I try, girl. I try.

You got 'em right where you want 'em, Sheena.

We should just take 'em out right now, Sheena.

Oh, no, I think we need to take our time

and enjoy it, Sheena.

Uh, excuse me, Sheena, is it?

Look, that is very impressive sword work.

You should go on one of those TV talent show things.

I bet you a lot of people will call in and vote for you.

Okay, okay. Not a huge fan of talent shows.

I feel you, I feel you.

But listen, you don't have to do this, okay?

You seem like a sensible person,

aside from the whole talking to yourself thing,

and the wackadoo look in your eyes.

Okay, how about this?

How about you just let us go,

and go ahead and start a new life for yourself?

Ugh, you sound just like my parents.

Your parents?

Did you let them go?

I mean, they wanted me to go to college and everything,

and become an engineer, you know.

But I really don't like putting things together,

as much as I like...

taking them apart!

Ha! Don't make me use this.

Why, because you're gonna hurt me?

No, because it's not a very effective weapon,

and I'm probably gonna lose.

No, you're definitely gonna lose.

Oh, really, well, if you haven't noticed,

it's four of us, and only one of you.

All right, well, now it's just you and me.

Rob, your name's on TV.