Original subtitles

Previously...

I have been waiting a long time to meet you, KC.

I was once very fond of your parents,

but their love and marriage made me go a little...

- what's the word I'm looking for? - Insane?

I'm going to take away everything your parents love.

starting with you and ending with the Organization.

"Hello, KC, if you're reading this,

then I have successfully escaped."

Zane's out there.

He hates my family more than ever,

and it's my fault.

KC: Look, Marisa!

Yes! Marisa came to save us!

Wait, Marisa came to save us?

How did Marisa know we needed saving?

( sings high operatic note )

Amazing!

What's going on in here?

You're sure Richard was captured?

So who's now in charge of the Other Side?

( evil chuckle )

I was hoping you'd say that.

Looks like I'm going home.

I'll see you soon, KC.

No one's upstairs. They're all gone.

They must've been tipped off.

Where are the Coopers?!

Everything is gonna be all right.

Your mother's on the phone with the Organization,

and I'm sure they'll come up with a plan to keep us safe from Zane.

Hopefully it's more thought-out than the last plan,

which was just a phone call saying,

"Zane's at your front door, Run, run now!"

( loud yawn )

Ugh, what flavor is your mouthwash?

Hot garbage?

Oh, I'm sorry I didn't have time for proper dental hygiene.

Up until ten minutes ago, I was fast asleep.

Believe me, I wish we could've left you behind.

In fact, I put it to a vote.

I lost.

If it makes you feel any better, it was close.

No, that does not make me feel better.

That makes me feel worse.

Look, Zane knows where you live,

and none of us are safe until he's captured.

Okay, but my parents might start to wonder where I am.

So what I'm hearing is we got a couple weeks to get you back home.

All right, guys, we are gonna be disappearing for a while.

The Organization is sending us to--

A castle, a castle. Please say a castle.

Yes, a castle, where you'll be named prince of Dorkylvania.

Actually, we're going to a safe house in Rio de Janeiro.

Rio de Janeiro.

That means rio of the day.

That's not even close.

( gunshot )

But that was.

( gunshot )

Okay, eat lasers, henchmen.

♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪

♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nobody keep their head so cool ♪

♪ I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire ♪

♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪

♪ I'm not perfect ♪

♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪

♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪

♪ Livin' my life, on red alert ♪

♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪

♪ Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless ♪

♪ But I always got your back ♪

♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪

♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪

♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪

♪ It's all part of the plan ♪

I keep it undercover.

I keep it undercover.

Hey!

What do you think you're doing?

- Get away from there. - I'm bored.

We haven't been out of this apartment for two weeks.

Well, you barely left our house for the past 16 years,

so you should be used to it.

Ernie, a little bit of boredom is better

than a lot of getting shot at.

I'd rather dodge laser fire

than listen to KC snoring all night.

It's even louder than Mom's snoring.

How did I get dragged into this?

Well, my snoring's better than hearing you cry in your sleep.

Those are tears of joy because I don't have to listen to

- the sound of your voice. - ( both arguing )

CRAIG: Hey, you two. Don't make me come out there.

- See, look what you did. - ( arguing continues )

Stop bickering!

And be happy we're all together in a safe place.

What else do we really need?

I'm gonna go with a door.

Okay, when I am bored, I count hair strands.

I am up to 5,083.

Or was it 5,084?

Ugh, now I have to start over.

One, two, three...

That's it. I'm shaving her head!

ALL: No, no!

Hey, hey, hey!

The whole point of us hiding from Zane

is to stay safe, so can we please not kill each other?

Craig, look, it's been a week since we last had contact with the Organization.

I mean, maybe they caught Zane by now and we can go home.

Let's go to the dead drop and see if we can get an update.

That's a good idea. I'm gonna go 'cause I need to get outta here.

That's not fair. I wanna go.

I'm gonna go 'cause I'm the oldest.

Will you kids stop the fighting?! You both can go.

Fifty-four, 55, 56...

And take that one with you.

- Come on. - ( counting continues )

I am so excited we are on a mission.

I love being a spy.

You're not a spy.

And your only mission is to zip it.

You might wanna help her on that mission, bro.

Listen, he's right; we need to be very careful,

because anybody at this marketplace

could be here to eliminate us.

Anybody? What about Father Time; is he out to get us too?

Yes. He could just be a guy dressed

in an old man's disguise.

( crashing sounds )

Or he could be an actual old guy who's gonna need a new hip.

This is the alley we're looking for.

Okay, me and Marisa will check it out,

you stay here, keep lookout,

and do not play that scavenger hunt game on your phone.

We do not need your cell pinging off towers.

I'd like to ping you off a tower.

Excuse me.

Uh, I said...

I'll be happy to keep lookout.

Yeah. That's right, that's what you said.

Welcome back to Scavenge Extreme.

The next object to find, photograph and upload

is something made of wicker.

Hmm. Something made of wicker.

That can be a toughie.

This has gotta be, like, the most beautiful alley in the world.

These tiles have been a tradition for decades.

It was started by a Chilean artist,

and now, tourists from all over the world bring tiles,

and they glue them to the walls.

Wow. I love how every country

has their own little traditions--

Wait. How do you know that?

We've been locked in that safe house for two weeks.

I've had no choice but to...

read.

Oh, wow, look at this tile.

It's so beautiful.

Uh, wow, I would hate to see

what you do to the ones you don't like.

No, no, no, I'm looking for the dead drop.

Oh, of course.

The dead drop. I knew that.

Now where's that dead drop?

It's gotta be around here somewhere.

You have no idea what a dead drop is, do you?

Not a clue.

A dead drop is how agents get information

about a secure network.

So behind one of these tiles is a hidden USB port,

and I take this and it allows me

to download updates from the Organization.

Cool. Got it. I'll check this side.

Cool.

Hey, when we're done, can we go back?

You really wanna go back to that dumpy apartment,

because I can go my entire life without ever seeing

Ernie take another sink bath.

I meant back home. It's our senior year.

So?

So it's our year of lasts.

Our last first day of school together,

our last pep rally together.

Our last homecoming dance together.

Okay, Marisa, you know I don't support homecoming,

because of my stance against voting for king and queen.

Plus, no one ever asks me, so...

KC, I'm serious.

You've been my best friend my entire life.

That's why this year is so important.

After graduation, we're gonna go our separate ways.

You to some fancy Ivy League school,

and me, to Pierce Junior Junior College,

AKA 13th grade.

BOTH: Fingers crossed.

I really think we should appreciate

what little time we have left together.

Marisa, relax.

Okay, look, I promise you,

no matter where we go in life,

we are still gonna be best friends.

Assuming we get out of here alive.

( KC laughs )

Well, look at you, Nancy Drew.

- You found the dead drop. - Maybe I really could be a spy.

Yeah, sure, but I would send in

that junior junior college application, just to be safe.

You know, good to have a back-up plan.

Oh, a used diaper.

Ew, a used diaper!

Congratulations on your used diaper.

You've earned triple scavenge points.

You're currently in 4,436th place.

Yes! Top 5,000.

Your next object to find, photograph and upload

is someone with very hairy ears.

Jackpot.

I've hit the Mother Lode.

The hairy Mother Lode.

Are you playing Scavenge Extreme?

Yeah. This game is the only thing

that's kept me sane on this trip.

Congratulations on your hairy ear pick.

You are currently in 98th place.

Ooh! What place are you in?

Uh, 99th.

So you're Pretty Princess 17?

Yes, I am.

But you can call me Ernie.

Hi. I'm Zoe.

It is so good to talk to another American.

I'm from Kansas. Where are you from?

Uh, he's from Monrovia.

His visa has just expired, and we must go now.

What did you do that for? That Zoe girl was into me.

Which makes me think she's either an enemy agent or psychotic, or both.

She's just a tourist.

This is the last time I'm gonna tell you.

No more talking to strangers.

Fine, but for the record,

there's nothing shady about her.

It's Zoe. I've made contact.

Excellent. Do not engage yet.

Track their movements until they lead us to the others.

Then we can eliminate the Coopers

once and for all.

Good news, Coop troop.

♪ We have an update! ♪

♪ Now I have ringing in my ears ♪

Okay, so Organization intel says

Zane has no idea that we're in Rio.

Well, it sounds like we're safe.

All right. Yeah!

Yes, I am out of this apartment,

and into a sarong.

I'm dying to check out Carnival.

I just wanna find a private bathroom.

Yes, we all want that for you, Dad.

But unfortunately, we are not on vacation,

because the Organization gave us a mission.

( gasps ) Oh, they gave us a mission.

No, they gave us a mission.

Fine.

If you want me, I will be in the other room.

Seriously?

The Organization couldn't give us one day off?

Boy, are they cheap.

They're cheap? Craig, when we go to the movies,

you only buy one cup of soda for all of us.

I don't buy one cup.

I find one in the trash, wash it off in the bathroom,

boom, free refills.

Uh-huh. See, that's not cheap, baby, that's smart.

No, actually, Dad, that's just gross.

Okay, guys, I know it's a bummer

that we have to jump right back into work,

but I tried, okay? I asked the Organization

if we could stay in Rio and soak up the local atmosphere,

but they wouldn't budge, no matter how many times

I begged and begged and begged and begged.

You requested the mission, didn't you?

Yes, okay, I'm bored.

Yet I'm the one banished behind the shower curtain.

You banished yourself.

Tell it to the curtain!

See, everybody's going after each other.

Yelling and fighting, and Judy's been throwing more shade than usual.

No, I haven't, you bug-eyed loser.

Okay, maybe I have.

Come on, just one big family mission.

For me, please?

- Okay. - All right. - Whatever.

Okay, not the resounding enthusiasm I was hoping for,

but you know what, I'll take it.

Okay, come on.

Our mission is to stop a ring of international bird smugglers.

Bird snugglers? Who snuggles with a bird?

They poop and pee out of the same place.

It's true, it's called a cloaca.

Great. Not only am I reading, I am retaining knowledge.

No, not bird snugglers.

Bird smugglers.

They capture and illegally transport

exotic birds out of the country,

which messes up the local ecosystem.

Seriously? I can't get a mango through customs,

and this guy is getting whole birds through?

Okay, so our job

is to find and capture the head of the ring.

His name is Passaro Grande, AKA Big Bird.

Well, we better get on it before he flies the coop.

( laughter )

Oh, now I'm laughing at Ernie's jokes.

We gotta get out of Rio, guys.

Step right up, folks.

Get your cooked animal carcasses with starchy food,

grown in soil fertilized by those same animals.

Yum, yum, yum!

Yo, Leticia, your sales pitch needs a little work.

So does your cooking.

No one wants a dried-up kebab that can double as a belt.

Speak for yourself.

I see your point.

All right, we've circled the entire market.

There's no sign of the target.

Do you guys see anything?

No, but I sold three sketches.

I could have a real future doing big-head caricatures.

Way to aim high, son.

I just spotted one of Passaro Grande's crew.

The woman in red by the entrance.

Okay, Mom, time to put a little more bait on the hook.

This is a lovely leather mosaic purse.

It's Brazil-liant!

Don't you think so, Lavender dear?

Ugh. Makes me wanna bring the cow back to life

and slap it for getting involved.

But it has fringe,

and you love fringe.

And it's so colorful.

Mom, I don't want a stupid purse, okay?

I want, like, a rare exotic bird to take back home.

And I want it now!

I want it now, now, now!

Lavender dear,

we can't possibly take rare birds

back to America.

It's illegal!

I could not help overhearing.

You want to purchase a rare bird?

Yes. The more expensive, the better.

Well, I can introduce you to a man that can get you

any bird you want.

He goes by the name of Passaro Grande.

Meet him in that alley at midnight.

Midnight? She wants us to meet a smuggler

in an alley at midnight.

It's good to be working again.

Received the images.

I can confirm those are the Coopers.

Hi, Ernie.

Sorry. I don't talk to strangers, and I'm not Ernie.

Uh, really?

Because you were Ernie yesterday when I met you in the marketplace.

I'm Zoe.

Sorry. No ingles-a!

I speak-a the Portuguese-a.

That's not Portuguese.

That's just you adding a lot of vowels.

And if you don't remember me,

then who's riding the horse with you through the fields of Kansas,

where coincidentally, I'm from.

In that case, what's Portuguese-a for,

"Oh, yeah, I guess I do remember you"?

Zoe and I talked for, like, 20 minutes,

and I had her laughing the whole time.

- What?! - And not just at me, with me, too.

Oh, it sounds like my son's turning into

a real lady-killer.

And no, I'm not talking about that accident

on your last mission.

May she rest in peace.

You need to stop encouraging him, okay?

Look, I know the Organization said Rio was clear,

but Zane is still a threat,

and I do not trust that little Kansas girl.

Why are you so wound up lately?

She's not an enemy agent.

She's just a regular girl on vacation.

In Brazil?

The land of hunky soccer players.

She is in a sea full of steak.

Why would she pick a shrimp?

Are you saying the only reason

a girl would talk to me is because she's trying to kill me?

No.

She may also wanna die of boredom.

She could just want her computer fixed.

She might be on a dare.

How dare you?!

I am sick and tired of you underestimating me.

Then stop making it so easy.

( both arguing )

Stop, stop, stop. Enough, you two.

Come on, KC, your brother has a point.

You need to put some respect on his name.

Yeah, respect it.

Your brother's got it goin' on.

Yes, I do.

Thank you, Dad. I'm glad somebody's got my back.

Hey, I always do, son.

And don't you forget it.

Would you keep an eye on that girl?

I don't trust her neither. What the heck is she talking to Ernie for?

It's almost midnight. Big Bird should be here any second.

Okay, real quick. After we catch the smuggler,

can we go back to the market and get that fringe purse?

- I thought you hated that purse. - No, Lavender hates the purse,

but KC wants to fill it with rocks and use it as an improvised weapon.

Excuse me. Are you Passaro Grande AKA Big Bird?

What gave it away?

Lucky guess.

My daughter wants your rarest and most colorful bird.

A rainbow with wings, if you will.

And money is no object.

I like your style.

And your money.

Oh, yes. Let me get a rag,

just in case.

You know, birds poopy and pee out of the same place.

It's called cloaca.

- So I've heard. - Okay, be right back.

Oh, hey, KC, hey, Mrs. Cooper.

Oh, I love those wigs.

Cool birds.

Oh, you must've caught that bird smuggler guy

and took him down.

Oh, Marisa.

All right, stay there.

Not you, Marisa.

You gotta help.

Hey, find the guy?

We had him, but we lost him.

How the heck did you lose him?

Let's not get bogged down in details.

You don't understand the immense pressure

KC was under back there.

- Marisa mess it up? - Big time.

( all groaning )

Okay, this is no time for the blame game.

But just to be clear, it was all your fault, Marisa.

What now? Passaro Grande could be anywhere in this crowd.

There's too many people. We need a better vantage point.

If only you had a technologically advanced humanoid

who could do a facial recognition scan of the crowd.

Oh, wait, you do.

I'm just gonna need all eyes on me.

Well, I think I can get everyone's attention.

I mean, I am fly.

Yeah, speaking of which. Again, bro.

- There's gotta be-- - I have an idea.

- All we have to do-- - Pick me, pick me.

Oh, pick me, pick me, me, me, me, me!

Pick me.

Yes, Marisa. What?

As you've pointed out on many occasions,

I am an expert at calling attention to myself,

so let me do my thing.

I never thought I'd say this,

but Marisa, what do you wanna do?

I'm gonna need a short dress, high heels,

and a whole lot of sparkle.

♪ I'm in charge of a mission! ♪

I'm already regretting this.

Rob, your name's on TV.