All language subtitles for K_C_ Undercover_S03E01_Coopers on the Run, Part 1.en.cc

Previously...

I have been waiting
a long time to meet you, KC.

I was once very fond
of your parents,

but their love and marriage
made me go a little...

- what's the word
I'm looking for?
- Insane?

I'm going to take away
everything your parents love.

starting with you
and ending with
the Organization.

"Hello, KC, if you're
reading this,

then I have
successfully escaped."

Zane's out there.

He hates my family
more than ever,

and it's my fault.

KC: Look, Marisa!

Yes! Marisa came
to save us!

Wait, Marisa came
to save us?

How did Marisa know
we needed saving?

( sings high operatic note )

Amazing!

What's going on in here?

You're sure
Richard was captured?

So who's now in charge
of the Other Side?

( evil chuckle )

I was hoping
you'd say that.

Looks like I'm going home.

I'll see you soon, KC.

No one's upstairs.
They're all gone.

They must've been
tipped off.

Where are the Coopers?!

Everything is gonna
be all right.

Your mother's on the phone
with the Organization,

and I'm sure they'll
come up with a plan to
keep us safe from Zane.

Hopefully it's more thought-out
than the last plan,

which was just
a phone call saying,

"Zane's at your front door,
Run, run now!"

( loud yawn )

Ugh, what flavor
is your mouthwash?

Hot garbage?

Oh, I'm sorry I didn't
have time for proper
dental hygiene.

Up until ten minutes ago,
I was fast asleep.

Believe me, I wish
we could've left you behind.

In fact, I put it
to a vote.

I lost.

If it makes you
feel any better,
it was close.

No, that does not
make me feel better.

That makes me
feel worse.

Look, Zane knows
where you live,

and none of us are safe
until he's captured.

Okay, but my parents
might start to wonder
where I am.

So what I'm hearing
is we got a couple weeks
to get you back home.

All right, guys,
we are gonna be
disappearing for a while.

The Organization
is sending us to--

A castle, a castle.
Please say a castle.

Yes, a castle, where
you'll be named prince
of Dorkylvania.

Actually, we're going to
a safe house in Rio de Janeiro.

Rio de Janeiro.

That means
rio of the day.

That's not even close.

( gunshot )

But that was.

( gunshot )

Okay, eat lasers,
henchmen.

♪ Oh, when danger
comes for you ♪

♪ You know
I'll stand beside you ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their head so cool ♪

♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪

♪ Don't tell nobody,
tell nobody ♪

♪ I'm not perfect ♪

♪ So many things
I wanna tell you ♪

♪ But I, I, I,
I keep it undercover ♪

♪ Livin' my life,
on red alert ♪

♪ Doin' my thing,
gonna make it work ♪

♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪

♪ But I always
got your back ♪

♪ Nobody can do it
like I can ♪

♪ I gotta find out
who I am ♪

♪ Ain't got to worry
about me ♪

♪ It's all
part of the plan ♪

I keep it undercover.

I keep it
undercover.

Hey!

What do you think
you're doing?

- Get away from there.
- I'm bored.

We haven't been out of
this apartment for two weeks.

Well, you barely left our house
for the past 16 years,

so you should be
used to it.

Ernie, a little bit
of boredom is better

than a lot of
getting shot at.

I'd rather dodge
laser fire

than listen to KC
snoring all night.

It's even louder
than Mom's snoring.

How did I
get dragged into this?

Well, my snoring's better than
hearing you cry in your sleep.

Those are tears of joy because
I don't have to listen to

- the sound of your voice.
- ( both arguing )

CRAIG: Hey, you two.
Don't make me come out there.

- See, look what you did.
- ( arguing continues )

Stop bickering!

And be happy we're all together
in a safe place.

What else
do we really need?

I'm gonna go with
a door.

Okay, when I am bored,
I count hair strands.

I am up to 5,083.

Or was it 5,084?

Ugh, now I have to
start over.

One, two, three...

That's it.
I'm shaving her head!

ALL: No, no!

Hey, hey, hey!

The whole point of us
hiding from Zane

is to stay safe, so can we
please not kill each other?

Craig, look, it's been
a week since we last had
contact with the Organization.

I mean, maybe they caught
Zane by now and we can go home.

Let's go to the dead drop
and see if we can get an update.

That's a good idea.
I'm gonna go 'cause
I need to get outta here.

That's not fair.
I wanna go.

I'm gonna go
'cause I'm the oldest.

Will you kids
stop the fighting?!
You both can go.

Fifty-four, 55, 56...

And take that one
with you.

- Come on.
- ( counting continues )

I am so excited
we are on a mission.

I love being a spy.

You're not a spy.

And your only mission
is to zip it.

You might wanna help her
on that mission, bro.

Listen, he's right;
we need to be very careful,

because anybody at
this marketplace

could be here
to eliminate us.

Anybody? What about
Father Time; is he out
to get us too?

Yes. He could just be
a guy dressed

in an old man's disguise.

( crashing sounds )

Or he could be an actual
old guy who's gonna
need a new hip.

This is the alley
we're looking for.

Okay, me and Marisa
will check it out,

you stay here,
keep lookout,

and do not play that scavenger
hunt game on your phone.

We do not need your cell
pinging off towers.

I'd like to ping you
off a tower.

Excuse me.

Uh, I said...

I'll be happy
to keep lookout.

Yeah. That's right,
that's what you said.

Welcome back to
Scavenge Extreme.

The next object to find,
photograph and upload

is something made of wicker.

Hmm. Something
made of wicker.

That can be a toughie.

This has gotta be, like,
the most beautiful
alley in the world.

These tiles have been
a tradition for decades.

It was started by
a Chilean artist,

and now, tourists from
all over the world bring tiles,

and they glue them
to the walls.

Wow. I love how
every country

has their own
little traditions--

Wait. How do
you know that?

We've been locked in
that safe house for two weeks.

I've had no choice
but to...

read.

Oh, wow, look at
this tile.

It's so beautiful.

Uh, wow, I would
hate to see

what you do to
the ones you don't like.

No, no, no, I'm looking
for the dead drop.

Oh, of course.

The dead drop.
I knew that.

Now where's
that dead drop?

It's gotta be
around here somewhere.

You have no idea
what a dead drop is, do you?

Not a clue.

A dead drop is how agents
get information

about a secure network.

So behind one of these tiles
is a hidden USB port,

and I take this
and it allows me

to download updates
from the Organization.

Cool. Got it.
I'll check this side.

Cool.

Hey, when we're done,
can we go back?

You really wanna go back
to that dumpy apartment,

because I can go my entire life
without ever seeing

Ernie take another
sink bath.

I meant back home.
It's our senior year.

So?

So it's our year of lasts.

Our last first day
of school together,

our last pep rally
together.

Our last homecoming
dance together.

Okay, Marisa, you know
I don't support homecoming,

because of my stance against
voting for king and queen.

Plus, no one ever
asks me, so...

KC, I'm serious.

You've been my best friend
my entire life.

That's why this year
is so important.

After graduation,
we're gonna go
our separate ways.

You to some fancy
Ivy League school,

and me, to
Pierce Junior Junior College,

AKA 13th grade.

BOTH: Fingers crossed.

I really think
we should appreciate

what little time
we have left together.

Marisa, relax.

Okay, look, I promise you,

no matter where we go
in life,

we are still gonna
be best friends.

Assuming we get
out of here alive.

( KC laughs )

Well, look at you,
Nancy Drew.

- You found the dead drop.
- Maybe I really
could be a spy.

Yeah, sure,
but I would send in

that junior junior college
application, just to be safe.

You know, good to have
a back-up plan.

Oh, a used diaper.

Ew, a used diaper!

Congratulations
on your used diaper.

You've earned
triple scavenge points.

You're currently in
4,436th place.

Yes! Top 5,000.

Your next object to find,
photograph and upload

is someone with
very hairy ears.

Jackpot.

I've hit
the Mother Lode.

The hairy Mother Lode.

Are you playing
Scavenge Extreme?

Yeah. This game is
the only thing

that's kept me sane
on this trip.

Congratulations on
your hairy ear pick.

You are currently in
98th place.

Ooh! What place
are you in?

Uh, 99th.

So you're
Pretty Princess 17?

Yes, I am.

But you can
call me Ernie.

Hi. I'm Zoe.

It is so good
to talk to another American.

I'm from Kansas.
Where are you from?

Uh, he's from Monrovia.

His visa has just expired,
and we must go now.

What did you do that for?
That Zoe girl was into me.

Which makes me think she's
either an enemy agent
or psychotic, or both.

She's just a tourist.

This is the last time
I'm gonna tell you.

No more talking
to strangers.

Fine, but
for the record,

there's nothing
shady about her.

It's Zoe.
I've made contact.

Excellent.
Do not engage yet.

Track their movements until
they lead us to the others.

Then we can eliminate
the Coopers

once and for all.

Good news, Coop troop.

♪ We have an update! ♪

♪ Now I have
ringing in my ears ♪

Okay, so Organization
intel says

Zane has no idea
that we're in Rio.

Well, it sounds like
we're safe.

All right. Yeah!

Yes, I am out of
this apartment,

and into a sarong.

I'm dying to check out
Carnival.

I just wanna find
a private bathroom.

Yes, we all want
that for you, Dad.

But unfortunately,
we are not on vacation,

because the Organization
gave us a mission.

( gasps ) Oh, they
gave us a mission.

No, they gave
us a mission.

Fine.

If you want me,
I will be in the other room.

Seriously?

The Organization couldn't
give us one day off?

Boy, are they cheap.

They're cheap?
Craig, when we go
to the movies,

you only buy
one cup of soda
for all of us.

I don't buy one cup.

I find one in the trash,
wash it off in the bathroom,

boom, free refills.

Uh-huh. See, that's not
cheap, baby, that's smart.

No, actually, Dad,
that's just gross.

Okay, guys, I know
it's a bummer

that we have to jump
right back into work,

but I tried, okay?
I asked the Organization

if we could stay in Rio and soak
up the local atmosphere,

but they wouldn't budge,
no matter how many times

I begged and begged
and begged and begged.

You requested
the mission, didn't you?

Yes, okay,
I'm bored.

Yet I'm the one
banished behind
the shower curtain.

You banished yourself.

Tell it to the curtain!

See, everybody's going
after each other.

Yelling and fighting,
and Judy's been throwing
more shade than usual.

No, I haven't,
you bug-eyed loser.

Okay, maybe I have.

Come on, just one big
family mission.

For me, please?

- Okay.
- All right.
- Whatever.

Okay, not the resounding
enthusiasm I was hoping for,

but you know what,
I'll take it.

Okay, come on.

Our mission is to stop a ring of
international bird smugglers.

Bird snugglers?
Who snuggles
with a bird?

They poop and pee
out of the same place.

It's true,
it's called a cloaca.

Great. Not only am I reading,
I am retaining knowledge.

No, not bird snugglers.

Bird smugglers.

They capture
and illegally transport

exotic birds
out of the country,

which messes up
the local ecosystem.

Seriously?
I can't get a mango
through customs,

and this guy is getting
whole birds through?

Okay, so our job

is to find and capture
the head of the ring.

His name is Passaro Grande,
AKA Big Bird.

Well, we better get on it
before he flies the coop.

( laughter )

Oh, now I'm laughing
at Ernie's jokes.

We gotta get
out of Rio, guys.

Step right up, folks.

Get your cooked animal
carcasses with starchy food,

grown in soil
fertilized by
those same animals.

Yum, yum, yum!

Yo, Leticia, your sales pitch
needs a little work.

So does your cooking.

No one wants a dried-up kebab
that can double as a belt.

Speak for yourself.

I see your point.

All right, we've circled
the entire market.

There's no sign
of the target.

Do you guys see anything?

No, but I sold
three sketches.

I could have a real future
doing big-head caricatures.

Way to aim high, son.

I just spotted one of
Passaro Grande's crew.

The woman in red
by the entrance.

Okay, Mom, time to put
a little more bait
on the hook.

This is a lovely
leather mosaic purse.

It's Brazil-liant!

Don't you think so,
Lavender dear?

Ugh. Makes me wanna
bring the cow back to life

and slap it
for getting involved.

But it has fringe,

and you love fringe.

And it's so colorful.

Mom, I don't want
a stupid purse, okay?

I want, like, a rare
exotic bird to take
back home.

And I want it now!

I want it
now, now, now!

Lavender dear,

we can't possibly
take rare birds

back to America.

It's illegal!

I could not help
overhearing.

You want to purchase
a rare bird?

Yes. The more expensive,
the better.

Well, I can introduce you
to a man that can get you

any bird you want.

He goes by the name
of Passaro Grande.

Meet him in that alley
at midnight.

Midnight? She wants us
to meet a smuggler

in an alley
at midnight.

It's good to
be working again.

Received the images.

I can confirm
those are the Coopers.

Hi, Ernie.

Sorry. I don't
talk to strangers,
and I'm not Ernie.

Uh, really?

Because you were Ernie
yesterday when I met you
in the marketplace.

I'm Zoe.

Sorry. No ingles-a!

I speak-a the Portuguese-a.

That's not Portuguese.

That's just you
adding a lot of vowels.

And if you don't
remember me,

then who's riding
the horse with you
through the fields of Kansas,

where coincidentally,
I'm from.

In that case,
what's Portuguese-a for,

"Oh, yeah, I guess I do
remember you"?

Zoe and I talked
for, like, 20 minutes,

and I had her laughing
the whole time.

- What?!
- And not just at me,
with me, too.

Oh, it sounds like
my son's turning into

a real lady-killer.

And no, I'm not
talking about that accident

on your last mission.

May she rest in peace.

You need to stop
encouraging him, okay?

Look, I know the Organization
said Rio was clear,

but Zane is still a threat,

and I do not trust
that little Kansas girl.

Why are you
so wound up lately?

She's not an enemy agent.

She's just a regular girl
on vacation.

In Brazil?

The land of hunky
soccer players.

She is in a sea
full of steak.

Why would she
pick a shrimp?

Are you saying
the only reason

a girl would talk to me
is because she's
trying to kill me?

No.

She may also wanna
die of boredom.

She could just want
her computer fixed.

She might be on a dare.

How dare you?!

I am sick and tired
of you underestimating me.

Then stop making it
so easy.

( both arguing )

Stop, stop, stop.
Enough, you two.

Come on, KC,
your brother has a point.

You need to put
some respect on his name.

Yeah, respect it.

Your brother's
got it goin' on.

Yes, I do.

Thank you, Dad.
I'm glad somebody's
got my back.

Hey, I always do, son.

And don't you
forget it.

Would you keep
an eye on that girl?

I don't trust her neither.
What the heck is she
talking to Ernie for?

It's almost midnight.
Big Bird should be here
any second.

Okay, real quick.
After we catch the smuggler,

can we go back to the market
and get that fringe purse?

- I thought you
hated that purse.
- No, Lavender hates the purse,

but KC wants to fill it
with rocks and use it as
an improvised weapon.

Excuse me. Are you
Passaro Grande
AKA Big Bird?

What gave it away?

Lucky guess.

My daughter wants your rarest
and most colorful bird.

A rainbow with wings,
if you will.

And money is no object.

I like your style.

And your money.

Oh, yes. Let me
get a rag,

just in case.

You know, birds poopy
and pee out of the same place.

It's called cloaca.

- So I've heard.
- Okay, be right back.

Oh, hey, KC,
hey, Mrs. Cooper.

Oh, I love those wigs.

Cool birds.

Oh, you must've caught
that bird smuggler guy

and took him down.

Oh, Marisa.

All right, stay there.

Not you, Marisa.

You gotta help.

Hey, find the guy?

We had him,
but we lost him.

How the heck
did you lose him?

Let's not get
bogged down in details.

You don't understand
the immense pressure

KC was under back there.

- Marisa mess it up?
- Big time.

( all groaning )

Okay, this is no time
for the blame game.

But just to be clear,
it was all your fault, Marisa.

What now?
Passaro Grande could be
anywhere in this crowd.

There's too many people.
We need a better vantage point.

If only you had
a technologically
advanced humanoid

who could do a facial
recognition scan of the crowd.

Oh, wait, you do.

I'm just gonna need
all eyes on me.

Well, I think I can get
everyone's attention.

I mean, I am fly.

Yeah, speaking of which.
Again, bro.

- There's gotta be--
- I have an idea.

- All we have to do--
- Pick me, pick me.

Oh, pick me, pick me,
me, me, me, me!

Pick me.

Yes, Marisa. What?

As you've pointed out
on many occasions,

I am an expert at
calling attention to myself,

so let me do my thing.

I never thought
I'd say this,

but Marisa,
what do you wanna do?

I'm gonna need a short dress,
high heels,

and a whole lot of sparkle.

♪ I'm in charge of
a mission! ♪

I'm already regretting this.

Rob, your name's on TV.