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1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:02,870
(TEAKETTLE WHISTLES)
2
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:05,773
(WALTZ MUSIC PLAYING)
3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,042
(HUMMING)
4
00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:13,247
Oh, would you
pass me a...
5
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:15,283
Absolutely.
Oh, thank you, dear.
6
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,517
(HUMS)
7
00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:17,685
Oh. And some...
8
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,620
There you go.
9
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,889
Now don't forget
to pick up the thing
10
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,991
from the place
this afternoon.
11
00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,694
Oh, I tried,
but they didn't have it.
12
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,096
Well,
get the other thing.
13
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,897
But it's all the way
across town.
14
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,499
Okay. Fine. I'll do it.
15
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,201
Good boy.
For you.
16
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:37,105
You guys know you're
totally married, right?
17
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:38,772
Green Card married.
Not real.
18
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,642
Seems real to me.
You see that
domestic ballet?
19
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,511
She oatmealing you,
you tea bagging her?
20
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,647
You're so lucky.
I have to
tea bag myself.
21
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,582
Would you leave
the man alone?
22
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,518
Cam is just being
a broski,
23
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:53,187
taking Molly off the market
till I make my move.
24
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,656
It's all part
of the ODC.
The OD... What?
25
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,057
Don't ask.
It's a whole thing.
26
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,792
ODC...
27
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,928
Operation: Dawson's Creek.
28
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:04,665
Now before you
is my 22-step plan
to end up with Molly.
29
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,100
I'm Dawson,
30
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,236
Molly is Joey,
31
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:10,738
and you're Jen,
the town slut.
32
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:13,607
Not to be this guy,
but that's, like,
the whitest show ever.
33
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,743
That is such
a Jen thing to say.
34
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:16,877
You're a fan
of the Creek?
35
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:19,247
Finally, something
we agree on. (CHUCKLES)
36
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:23,417
BOTH:
* Dum, Da-da-dum-dum
37
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,656
What the hell
is on the roof?
38
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:29,923
Oz, why do you
have a trident?
39
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:32,025
Why don't you?
Now answer the question...
40
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,496
Why is there a huge
electronic billboard
on my roof?
41
00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:38,098
Because this place needs
to make some mad ducats,
42
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:41,902
so I made a sweet deal
to rent it out as ad space.
43
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:44,405
Did you, by any chance,
ask what ads they would
be running?
44
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,474
Way to go, Vee.
45
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,075
You just allowed
our rival company
46
00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:50,110
to use our building to say
that we totally suck.
47
00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:53,214
Come on.
Don't exaggerate.
It doesn't say that.
48
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:54,982
(CHUCKLES)
49
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,484
VERONICA: Oh.
CASH: Ooh.
50
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,386
OZ: Shaw's a dead man.
51
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:02,956
You know,
maybe I shouldn't have
signed that 20-year lease.
52
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,359
(ENGINE REVS, BRAKES SQUEAL)
53
00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:06,894
(CRUNCHES)
54
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,829
Well, well, well.
55
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,031
I always knew you were
beneath me, Oz.
56
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:12,433
And now the world does, too.
57
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,034
Carol, grab my trident.
58
00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:16,704
Ah, hang on.
No need for fancy
aquatic weaponry.
59
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,906
Just swung by
to admire my billboard
60
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:22,843
and savor the moment
of me riding your ass.
61
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:25,879
That sounded really gay,
baby.
62
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:27,080
Yeah, I know.
Just drive!
63
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,517
(ENGINE REVS)
64
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,619
Make no mistakes
about it, ladies.
We're at war.
65
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,554
And Shaw drew first blood.
66
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,489
Retaliation will be
swift and merciless.
What do you got?
67
00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,358
The servers for
these billboards
are Swiss cheese.
68
00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:39,092
I can make it say
anything we want.
69
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,461
Any suggestions?
70
00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,063
(LAUGHS)
71
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:45,666
That's amazing.
I love it!
72
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,000
Truth in advertising.
73
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:48,502
(GROANS)
(DOOR OPENS)
74
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:51,071
Guys, huge problem.
You gotta come see this.
75
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:52,740
(SIGHS)
76
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,875
So predictable, Oz.
77
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:56,477
I knew you'd have
your second rate hacker
78
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,812
try to mess
with my billboard,
which is why
79
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:01,882
I installed a Trojan horse
on the HDMI connection.
80
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,251
Cam, shut it down.
81
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,418
I'm locked out
of our system.
82
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:05,919
As we speak, a worm is
83
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,822
destroying your entire
storage network.
84
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,123
Cam.
Almost there.
85
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,892
You lose, Oz.
86
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,061
You've been jerking me
around for years,
87
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,230
but now it's my turn
to jerk you,
88
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:20,368
and I'm gonna keep jerking
until you explode.
89
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:24,305
(WHISPERS)
That sounds
kind of gay, baby.
90
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:27,308
What? No.
That's a totally
hetero threat.
91
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:30,678
All right. I shut it down
before our files got wiped.
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
92
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,747
But not before
it robo-spammed
your address book
93
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,416
and said
we're out of business.
94
00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:37,751
Robo-spam? Worms?
95
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:41,054
What the frick is going on?
Are we in the future?
96
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:44,124
Cam, reconfigure
the firewall,
then re-reconfigure it.
97
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:45,659
Cash, damage control.
98
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,061
Contact every client
that got that e-mail.
99
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:51,565
Molly, explain everything
that's going on to Veronica.
100
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:56,470
I'm gonna take down
that slimy little rodent
once and for all.
101
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,640
(WE GOT YOUR BACK PLAYING)
102
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,055
* We got your back
103
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,861
Crazy day today,
wasn't it?
104
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,563
Even for Contra.
105
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,798
Well, it's not over yet.
106
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:27,000
I still gotta lock down
that firewall for Oz.
107
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,902
Oh, well,
don't stay up
too late, dear.
108
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:31,004
Mwah. Night.
109
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,873
What the hell was that?
What was what?
110
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,575
Don't ignore it.
We kissed.
111
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,009
We both did it
like it was
totally natural.
112
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,545
Oh, my God.
We're married.
113
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,613
No. No. No. No.
We're not married.
114
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,181
Did you just wash
my underpants?
115
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:43,617
(WHISPERS) Married.
Married.
116
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:50,658
Good morning, Veronica.
Here's today's schedule,
117
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,860
these papers
need signing,
118
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:55,763
I kissed Cameron,
and your car is being
dropped off to get washed.
119
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,131
Wait. What? When?
120
00:04:58,198 --> 00:04:59,700
How? And why?
121
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,835
Come here!
Tell me everything.
122
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,837
Was it, like,
full open mouth,
'80s-style?
123
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,539
It was more
like a peck.
124
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,408
Can't you keep
your tiny peck
in your pants?
125
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:09,743
We're at war with Shaw.
No distractions.
126
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,780
How did you kiss him?
French? Eskimo? Butterfly?
Spider-man? Vampire?
127
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,715
Just the regular kind.
128
00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:16,850
It was nice.
129
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:20,588
I mean, I've been so hung up
on Melanie for so long,
130
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,656
but now she's gone,
131
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,425
and maybe it's time
I just moved on.
132
00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:26,226
Yes! From this subject.
133
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:27,961
Mmm. Yeah.
134
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:29,730
All aboard the train
to Bonetown.
135
00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:32,232
No. I'm not sure
I'm ready to
purchase a ticket
136
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:34,535
for that particular
train yet,
137
00:05:34,602 --> 00:05:36,704
but I have thought about
looking at the schedule.
138
00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:39,540
Look, whatever you do
with your pseudo-wife,
139
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,675
Cash cannot find out
about it.
140
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:44,445
I need our
Prankmaster General
on his "A" game.
141
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:46,714
Let me pour a little sauce
on this for you.
142
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,582
I call it
Operation: Cheese Doodle.
143
00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:49,783
That's our target.
144
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,152
Shaw's office has
a pressure-sensitive floor
145
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,888
and audio detection sensors
in the walls.
146
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,624
One sound,
and you're found.
147
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,559
It seems a lot like
Mission: Impossible.
148
00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:01,462
What? No, it's totally
different.
149
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,063
I'll drop down
from the ceiling
150
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:04,532
and suspend over the desk
about an inch.
151
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,166
It's gonna be awesome.
152
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,035
Totally awesome.
Also totally
Mission: Impossible.
153
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:09,570
What's next?
You're gonna
rip off your face
154
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,472
and reveal
you're Ving Rhames?
Well, actually, I...
155
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,574
Ah, no. We're not doing
the face thing, Cash.
156
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:16,444
But masks are fun.
Shutty.
157
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,345
This model's gonna
self-destruct
in five seconds.
158
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:19,647
No.
(WHOOSH)
159
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,115
(GASPS) That took me
hours to build!
160
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,952
Good! Channel that anger
towards Shaw.
161
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,253
OZ: We're gonna
hit him hard tonight.
162
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,422
Remember,
silence is golden.
163
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:31,592
No matter what happens,
no talking.
164
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,274
(SPY THEME PLAYING)
165
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:51,679
(MOUTHING WORDS)
166
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,214
(MOUTHING WORDS)
167
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:51,138
(CRUNCHES)
168
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,740
(DOOR WHOOSHES)
169
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,174
New clients are here, baby.
170
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:56,644
Mmm. More Contra converts.
171
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,145
Please come in.
Have a seat.
172
00:07:58,211 --> 00:07:59,580
(LOWERED VOICE)
How's my face? Am I
rocking a dust-stache?
173
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,815
You're good, baby.
Okay.
174
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:04,384
(NORMAL VOICE)
Okay, people,
I'm gonna make this short.
175
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:07,888
Why should you leave Contra?
Because they got hacked.
176
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,523
They can't even protect
their own information.
177
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,425
How can they possibly
protect yours?
178
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:16,096
Fact, Double Dragon
is impenetrable,
179
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,931
the best.
180
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,200
And you have my word
that our level of...
(BABBLES)
181
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,702
(LISPING)
What is going on
with my mouth?
182
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:23,904
Looks like you're
a little bit tongue-tied.
183
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:25,272
(GRUNTING)
184
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,240
I wonder why.
(CHUCKLES)
185
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:29,710
Ah.
Ah.
186
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:32,646
You've just been
Mission: Impossible'd.
187
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,615
You're right.
Masks are fun.
188
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:37,117
Oh! You son of a bitch.
You did this.
189
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:40,320
Fact, Double Dragon
is more than penetrable.
190
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,557
The rumors of Contra's demise
were greatly exaggerated.
191
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:45,826
(GRUNTS)
Now if you'll all
just follow me
192
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,061
for some complimentary
Contra snuggies.
193
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:54,802
Hey, Mol. Just cooked us
some nice celebratory
takeout dinner
194
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,536
for kicking Shaw's ass.
195
00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:58,606
(LOCK RATTLES)
Oh, I think that's you.
196
00:08:58,672 --> 00:08:59,907
Hold on.
197
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:06,113
Melanie?
198
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,081
Looks like
I'm a little rusty.
199
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,883
What the...
What are you doing here?
200
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:11,418
Where have you been?
How have you been?
201
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,886
I'll answer
everything after.
202
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:13,987
After what?
203
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,893
I did everything I could
to try to forget you.
204
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:25,032
I biked cross-country
with the angels,
205
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,801
I caught some river monsters
in Baja.
206
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,370
Did you have cell service
out there?
207
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,973
I left you
a million messages.
208
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,976
Some of them
kind of embarrassing.
209
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:37,344
I listened to them.
Oh, yeah?
210
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,012
Mmm-hmm.
But I'm back anyway.
211
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,348
I... I, you know,
I don't know.
212
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,083
(SIGHS)
213
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,454
Should we do this?
214
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:49,823
Yeah.
215
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,091
I'm in.
216
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:54,294
(LOCK CLICKS)
217
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:57,898
Um, I have something
to tell you.
218
00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:00,100
(SINGSONGY)
Cammy, I'm home.
219
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,170
Wait.
Wait a minute.
220
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,205
Have you two been
shagging in my bed?
221
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:09,442
Oh. (CHUCKLES) She...
You... You live together?
222
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:11,679
No. No. No.
I mean, she does.
223
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,881
We do, but only
because we're married.
224
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,949
You're married?
Yes.
225
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,418
She's an illegal alien.
Tell her you're an alien.
226
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,153
Why don't you tell her
you're a wanker?
227
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,488
I'm not a wanker.
228
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,623
Hey. Hold on. So nothing's
happened between you two?
229
00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:25,425
No. I mean,
230
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,761
yeah, we, um, kissed once.
(GROANS)
231
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,462
It was nothing.
So now it's nothing?
232
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:30,864
I knew I shouldn't have
come back here.
233
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,700
This is all
coming out wrong.
234
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,167
Look, I don't... I don't
have feelings for her.
Yeah, whatever.
235
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,839
(GRUNTS)
236
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,141
Worst wanking
husband ever.
(DOOR SLAMS)
237
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,047
OZ: Cam!
238
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:48,148
(BELL DINGING)
239
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:50,718
Good morning, sunshine.
Rough night?
240
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:53,653
(GROANS)
Molly kicked me out.
It's a whole thing.
241
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,689
I'm sure it is.
242
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,324
Finding you and Melanie
243
00:10:57,390 --> 00:11:00,327
was probably not
the anniversary present
she was hoping for.
244
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,762
Wait.
245
00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,196
How'd you know about that?
246
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:04,932
I bumped into Melanie
this morning.
247
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,366
She was really
pissed off.
248
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,802
I am really pissed off!
249
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,739
Sort of blames me
for this whole
marriage thing.
250
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:15,375
I totally blame you
for this whole
marriage thing.
251
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:18,145
I tried explaining myself,
but she wouldn't hear it.
252
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,214
I don't want to hear it.
Shabba-doo. Shabba-doo.
253
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,216
Wait.
What was that last part?
254
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,752
I realized my story's
sort of boring,
255
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:27,654
so I figured I'd throw in
a couple of "shabba-doos."
256
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:30,690
Guys, it's Shaw!
He struck back!
257
00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:33,226
RICKY: She's drowning
in cheese doodles! Look!
258
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,896
Get me out of here!
I'm allergic to gluten!
259
00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:37,264
(PANTS)
260
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,566
(GRUNTS) All right,
don't worry, Vee.
261
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,769
We'll have you out
in a jiffy pop!
262
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,603
She's a goner.
What do you mean?
263
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:44,938
My office is a bunker.
264
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:47,941
That's reinforced glass.
It's bulletproof,
shatterproof.
265
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:49,743
I'll save you, Veronica!
(GRUNTS)
266
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:52,913
Oh! And Carol-proof.
267
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,581
All right,
get on the horn
with 911.
268
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,116
Tell 'em we need
the jaws of life.
269
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,317
Okay.
270
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,786
Shabba-doo!
271
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:01,221
Shaw locked the vents.
I can't shut down
the doodles.
272
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:03,056
She's gonna be
breathing cheese
for the next two hours.
273
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,357
Shh.
What?
274
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:05,658
I thought you said
it was soundproof.
275
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,995
No. No. Bullet,
shatter, and Carol!
276
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,475
It's been a good ride.
277
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,912
It's just like when Spock
said bye to Captain Kirk
278
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,314
in Wrath of Khan,
except for with doodles.
279
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,717
I have been
and shall always be
280
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,420
(WHISPERS)
your friend.
281
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,855
No, Ronnie.
282
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:36,523
No.
283
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,205
Double Dragon
has gone too far.
284
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,242
It's time for a parlay
on neutral territory.
285
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,080
Well, well, well.
286
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,449
Look who came
waving the white flag.
287
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,017
Hope you enjoyed
my latest prank,
288
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,553
courtesy of my gadget guy
Dolla Bill.
289
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,923
Kaboom goes the TNT.
290
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,959
That's not even
how you say it.
291
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,861
(LOWERED VOICE)
Oh, I hate this guy.
292
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,528
This has gone
far enough, Shaw.
293
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,364
You put a woman
in the hospital.
294
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,199
She'll live, but...
295
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:22,069
It's the worst case
of orange lung
I've ever seen.
296
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:24,938
(COUGHS)
297
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:28,008
Wow. It's quite cheesy.
298
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,677
Hey, if you want
this war to end,
299
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:32,345
all you have to do
is tell the world
300
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,581
that Double Dragon
is number one.
301
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:37,450
(SIGHS)
All right, look,
302
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:40,087
let's settle this
once and for all.
303
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:43,456
A duel.
Whoever wins will
get bragging rights
304
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,358
to say
they are number one.
305
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:46,659
What do you say, tomorrow,
306
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,295
Contra and Double Dragon
square off
307
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:51,764
in a contest of strength,
endurance, and athleticism?
308
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,501
Name your game.
309
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:55,869
Sloshball.
310
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:58,505
Um, what's sloshball?
311
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,640
It's like kickball,
but with beer,
312
00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:03,043
and we destroy every year.
313
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:06,479
You only beat us because
you always have a ringer.
314
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:09,282
Lucky for us,
we've got one, too.
315
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,651
Whoever you've got,
we can handle him.
316
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,286
MELANIE:
Not a him.
317
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,454
What?
318
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,324
We just lost.
319
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,658
What? Why?
320
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,160
CASH: You should see her
kick a ball.
321
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:22,562
(CHEERING)
322
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:28,535
Oh, my God!
It's still going!
323
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,803
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
324
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,372
Mel, what are you
doing here?
325
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,107
Same thing you did.
Moving on with my life.
326
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,675
Mel, we're family.
327
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,444
Yeah, we were family,
328
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:40,713
until he married her,
and you allowed it.
329
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,682
We'll see you on the field
tomorrow, loser.
330
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:46,619
I'm gonna pound your ass
until I am fully satisfied.
331
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,488
Dude, really?
332
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,323
It's like you're doing it
on purpose.
333
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,527
All right.
Here's the rules
of sloshball.
334
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,563
First base,
you drink a beer,
335
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,431
second base,
you drink a beer,
336
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,433
third base...
Drink a beer, perhaps?
337
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,069
You do a keg stand.
338
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:03,803
Now drink a beer
for interrupting me.
339
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,772
What? No.
Do it! Drink it!
340
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,507
Drink it all!
Take it all down!
341
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,809
Drink it! Drink it!
Drink it!
342
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,211
Okay.
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
343
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:12,779
Let's get sloshed!
344
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,714
(CROWD MURMURS)
345
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,016
Hey. I wanted to say
I'm sorry for...
346
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,150
(GRUNTS)
347
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,192
(CHEERING) Yeah!
348
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,761
CASH: Oh!
349
00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,367
Go! Chug! Chug! Yeah!
350
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,339
Oh!
Oh!
351
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:41,608
MAN:
* They don't believe
and we cover your tail
352
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:44,711
* And get you
to run around
353
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,880
* You rappers be trying hard,
but me I just rat it out
354
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,917
* Planning a career
when it was already
mapped out
355
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:52,052
CROWD: Oh!
356
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:55,288
He struck out in kickball!
Who does that?
357
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,427
(CHEERING)
358
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,898
(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
359
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,968
* Remember after listening,
put these old rings on
360
00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:10,137
* Hello, Captain's here...
361
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:11,538
(GRUNTS)
362
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:13,073
(GRUNTS)
363
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,507
(GRUNTING)
364
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,276
(GASPS)
365
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:18,545
Okay. Okay. Let's just say
you got me, all right?
366
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:19,646
Aah! Oh!
367
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,214
CAMERON: Boo!
368
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:24,351
Come on! Bad sportsmanship,
you traitor!
369
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,752
Cam, what are you doing?
370
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,354
You're not supposed
to be drinking now.
371
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,721
I'm sad.
372
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,390
Get in there.
I'm gonna get another one.
373
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,160
(CROWD SHOUTING
INDISTINCTLY)
374
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,030
You're going the wrong way!
375
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,332
(CROWD SHOUTING
INDISTINCTLY)
376
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:42,335
* They don't believe
and we cover your tail *
377
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:43,870
(MUSIC WARPS)
378
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,040
(CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
379
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,775
Okay, slugger, you're up.
380
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,211
Bases are loaded.
One grand slam,
381
00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:53,713
and we're only
one grand slam away
from tying this thing.
382
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,582
Oz, we don't have a shot.
383
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,617
They've got Melanie.
384
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,052
It's all my fault.
385
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,420
Hey. Hey. Look.
(GROANS)
386
00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:02,255
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret, okay?
387
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:05,358
Even if we lose this thing,
we're still gonna win.
388
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:06,993
Now go get 'em.
389
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,296
Do you wanna get
French fries after this?
390
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,830
Sure.
Yes!
391
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,765
Go get 'em.
Go get 'em.
392
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:14,801
Come on!
393
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,803
No batter. Ha.
394
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:20,340
I made love to you,
and you broke my heart!
395
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:22,242
I made love to you!
396
00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:24,877
Please.
Don't embarrass yourself
in front of your wife.
397
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,214
Oh, that is it!
That is it!
398
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,015
I am bringing the heat!
I'm bringing the heat!
399
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,717
Come on! Send it!
400
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,191
(LIGHTS CLANK)
401
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,494
(THEME FROM
THE NATURAL PLAYING)
402
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:44,531
(THUDS ECHO)
403
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,162
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
404
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:39,752
(THUD ECHOES)
405
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,690
(CROWD GROANS)
You're out!
Double Dragon wins!
406
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,792
Yeah! Ha-ha!
407
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,227
(CHEERING)
408
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:49,061
Oh, ho! You lose, Oz!
409
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,365
I shoved it
down your throat,
and it felt so good!
410
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:55,302
I don't even care
how that sounds
'cause I'm number one!
411
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:56,903
I'm not so sure
about that, Shaw.
412
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,639
In order to be number one,
you sort of have to have
a company.
413
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:00,773
What?
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
414
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,310
Your phone
just got a message.
415
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,312
They just demolished
our servers.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
416
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,214
No. There's no way
you broke in.
417
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,648
You never had access!
418
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,650
But I did.
419
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:11,984
You lose, Shaw.
420
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,254
CASH:
Boom goes the TNT.
421
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,625
Good morning,
professionals.
422
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:22,429
I'm fine. Thanks for
the no hospital visits.
423
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,264
Hey, Ronnie!
Welcome back.
424
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:25,698
Nice to see you
up and about.
425
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,066
You know, we had
the cheese doodles
426
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:29,168
removed from
the vending machine
in honor of you.
427
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:30,403
Ohh.
428
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:32,772
(COUGHS)
429
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:46,018
Hey.
430
00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:48,020
Just in case I die
from alcohol poisoning,
431
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:51,258
I wanted to say I'm sorry
for being such an ass.
432
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:54,294
No, I'm the one
who confused how
comfortable we got
433
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,095
for something more.
434
00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,332
Look,
435
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,301
I know
you still love her.
436
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:03,202
Everybody knows.
437
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:05,505
I'm sorry.
I tried to move on.
438
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,106
Well, don't be.
439
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,509
Now as your wife,
440
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:12,312
I am instructing you
to stop being such a knob
441
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,180
and go and get the girl.
442
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,348
All right.
443
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,184
Nag, nag, nag.
444
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:20,086
That's more like it.
445
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:26,359
CASH: Hey.
446
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,696
Dress your bagel?
447
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:33,900
Thank you, Cash.
448
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,004
Attaboy, Dawson.
449
00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:40,407
So...
450
00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:43,310
You're staying.
451
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,111
Dude, I'm a lock-picker.
452
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:48,548
It's either this
or grinding keys
at a mall kiosk.
453
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,817
Listen, I vaguely remember
454
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:55,722
yelling some awkward things
at the game, so my bad.
455
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:59,125
My bad for pegging you
in the head with a ball.
456
00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:00,627
Oh, you loved it.
457
00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:02,161
I really did.
458
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:07,033
Maybe when
I sober up next month,
we could grab a drink.
459
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,436
Well, I don't date
married guys.
460
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:12,939
But for you,
461
00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:14,841
I'll make an exception.
32990
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