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1
00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:05,273
(WHIRRING)
2
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,677
(PEOPLE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
3
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,779
CASH: Yeah, make way
for the champ,
4
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,947
Billy Bot Thornton.
5
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,850
(DEEP VOICE)
Mmm. Activate sling blade.
6
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:19,953
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
7
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,289
What the hell
is that thing?
8
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,657
(NORMAL VOICE) Battle bot.
I'm in a club, a bot club.
9
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,259
That's all I can tell you.
Why is that?
10
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:28,129
First rule of bot club,
you don't talk about bot club.
11
00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:31,132
Second rule of bot club,
you can tell girls,
12
00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:32,700
'cause...
'Cause we need 'em.
13
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:34,902
Taking new members?
I love robits.
14
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:38,172
First of all, it's robots.
"Robits?" Who says that?
15
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,940
Second,
you're an accountant.
16
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:41,642
(WHIRRING)
17
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:42,910
Later, civvy.
18
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:46,914
Uh, here are those, um,
19
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,516
T.P.S. report things
that you wanted.
20
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:51,452
Yeah, uh, and, uh,
here's those invoices.
21
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:52,753
Excellent. Thank you.
That's great.
22
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,422
Cheers. Oh!
Oh!
23
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,090
Sorry.
24
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:57,725
(BOT WHIRS)
25
00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:00,361
Dude.
26
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,696
People gave
more eye contact
to Travolta
27
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,031
after Battlefield Earth.
28
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:05,633
What is the deal?
29
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:10,171
Yeah. This morning
we had a very unfortunate
roommate mishap.
30
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:12,906
(WATER RUNNING IN SHOWER)
31
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,746
(BOTH SCREAMING)
32
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,080
What are you doing
in my shower?
33
00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:21,682
Your shower? I'm the one
who put the water on!
34
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:23,751
Stop looking at it!
35
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,586
It's looking at me.
36
00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:26,820
So let me get this straight.
37
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,889
You got all naked,
wet, and soapy
38
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,491
with the girl of my dreams
this morning?
39
00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:32,793
Technically.
40
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:35,329
I don't know
whether to ask you
for the dirty details
41
00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:37,631
or just Texas Chainsaw
your ass.
42
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,100
(WHIRRING RESUMES)
43
00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:42,903
I can't believe you.
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Naked?
44
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,738
(WE GOT YOUR BACK PLAYING)
45
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,554
* We got your back
46
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:04,024
Great news,
my little ponies!
47
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:06,160
I just scored us
a $600 bottle of scotch
48
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:08,128
and sticks
fresh off the boat.
49
00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:10,298
Tonight's guys' night.
Epic.
50
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,666
Drinks and smokes?
Count me in.
51
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,702
Just let me power down
my Activia,
52
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,771
get the old colon fired up,
and then I am good to go.
53
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:20,474
Great. Well, we're just
going through
some inventory tonight.
54
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:23,577
We got a new shipment
of U.V. remotes, ionizers,
55
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,779
and motion sensor
trigger plates.
56
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:28,649
I'm out. No more bets.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
57
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:31,151
I thought guys' night
was ruined.
How'd you do that?
58
00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:32,753
Yeah, I got a new system
for getting rid of Vee.
59
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,188
You just mention
three technical terms
60
00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:36,690
she doesn't understand,
and poof! She skedaddles.
61
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,259
All right.
I'm off to lunch.
62
00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:40,561
(GASPS) Yummy yum-yums!
Daddy, can I go?
63
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,563
Yes, yes,
we can finally discuss
64
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,498
the infrared scopes,
the tectonic plates,
65
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,033
and the chupacabra.
66
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:47,435
Good luck.
67
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:50,971
All right, boys,
I'll see you at 1800 hours,
68
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,073
and I'm bringing a very,
very special guest
69
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:54,642
that's going to blow
your mind.
70
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:57,411
I'll give you a little hint.
He's made of steel.
71
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:59,713
Hey, Oz, do you think
you could keep
72
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:00,981
the cup for us
for a couple days?
73
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,450
Yeah, we gotta run down
to Mexico
74
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,817
to bail our brother out
of jail.
75
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,085
(CHUCKLES)
He punched a federale.
76
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:06,854
How'd you boys get the cup
in the first place?
77
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,956
Well, we punched a guy.
78
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,225
You Hanson Brothers,
you really like to
punch guys, don't ya?
79
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,893
BOTH: It's what we do.
80
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,596
For the next 24 hours,
we are going to
guard this cup
81
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:17,631
with vigilance and respect.
82
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,668
Excuse me for not
being excited about
an oversized ice bucket.
83
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,571
Unless it has superpowers
or transforms into a robot,
84
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:25,038
Cash won't appreciate it.
85
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,374
Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
CASH: You know,
what I don't appreciate
86
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,776
is being put on blast
by a bean counter.
87
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,177
I'm a C.P.A.
C.P.A.?
88
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:32,580
What does that stand for,
certified public anus?
89
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:34,147
Please!
Stop ruining guys' night.
90
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:38,319
Guys' night?
I love guys' night!
91
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:40,921
What are you talking about,
brohams, huh?
92
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,890
I got this.
We're discussing
fiber optics,
93
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,926
onomatopoeia,
the industrial revolution.
94
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:48,729
Oh, my God.
I love all those things!
95
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:51,365
Well, that trick's dead.
All right, boys.
96
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,301
Give us the roof.
What?
97
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,135
You heard me.
98
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:56,770
Uh, but for her? Man.
99
00:03:58,472 --> 00:03:59,607
The guys need this.
100
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,276
We spend all week doing
damage control
101
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,611
for your screw-ups.
102
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,179
My screw-ups?
Name one.
103
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,581
(WHIRRING)
104
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:09,950
Vee, have you seen
the schematics for
the new casino job?
105
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,721
Um...
106
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,222
I'm gonna need some tape.
107
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:16,624
Tried to back up the van,
108
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,926
but it went
in the wrong direction.
109
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,227
(CHUCKLES)
I'll move it!
110
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:21,862
Do not move the van!
111
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,130
It's like
the movie Signs!
(GEARSHIFT CLICKS)
112
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:25,198
You back up
and my guts spill out!
113
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,500
Well, guess what?
114
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:29,337
Tomorrow the girls
are having a girls' night.
115
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:30,471
Sounds like a great plan.
116
00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,573
It is a great plan.
You're not invited.
117
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,174
(LOWERED VOICE)
Girls' night?
118
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,876
This is bad for you,
dude.
119
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,010
If Molly knows
what you're packing,
120
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,412
that means the rest
of the women will, too.
121
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:39,480
How do you know?
122
00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:41,882
My mom's book club.
They spend five minutes
123
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,884
reading Anna Karenina,
and the rest of the time
124
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,453
they're talking
about you-know-what.
125
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,588
Girth, width,
length, heft.
126
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:48,822
Oh, they're ruthless.
(SIGHS)
127
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,591
Like I care about
what a bunch of drunk girls
128
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:52,526
have to say about me
or my body.
129
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,295
(WHISPERS) Oh, God.
Please don't say anything.
130
00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:56,597
(NORMAL VOICE)
Please don't say anything.
131
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,699
Best girls' night ever!
132
00:04:58,766 --> 00:04:59,900
(LAUGHS)
Whoo!
133
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,034
Whoo!
Yay!
134
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:02,803
Aah. Aah, aah, aah, aah!
Oh! Oh!
135
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:05,105
Oh! Oh, sorry.
I thought I ordered
an iced tea.
136
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:09,643
Dude. (PANTS)
137
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:10,978
This is seriously
messed up, man.
138
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,313
Look, I know this is
a total invasion of privacy
139
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:14,648
and a misuse
of company equipment.
140
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:17,150
Oh, I don't give
a flying frack!
I'm gonna frackin' die!
141
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,122
Can I jump in?
I just have one copy to make.
Kinda slammed today.
142
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:23,991
Slammed doing what,
adding up pay stubs?
143
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,292
Your job can be done
with a stick
144
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:26,927
and couple of beads.
(CHUCKLES)
145
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:30,130
Really? You want to bring up
the abacus? Not cool, man.
146
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:32,766
You know what's
not cool? You!
147
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,270
That's it. You just got
on my last nerve.
148
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,639
I'm officially gonna
whup your butt.
149
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,275
(STUTTERS)
Whup my what now?
150
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:46,547
Tomorrow. 3:00. Parking lot.
You're going down.
151
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,949
(BUTTON CLICKS)
152
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:51,719
You, of all people,
should know
153
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,220
what it feels like
to be bullied.
154
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:55,723
I'm not a bully.
I just relentlessly
taunt him
155
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,358
because he's a math dork
and he isn't cool like me.
156
00:05:58,426 --> 00:05:59,827
He likes it.
It's our thing.
157
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,531
I'm gonna die,
aren't I?
158
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:09,570
Girls' night!
Let's burn
this bitch down!
159
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,905
Whoo! Yeah!
(LAUGHS)
160
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,542
I know. I know.
Let's play truth or dare.
161
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:16,477
Molly, truth or dare?
Make out with me.
162
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:18,412
Um, oh, I actually
didn't choose,
163
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,247
so I'll go
for truth,
please.
164
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,415
I truth you
to make out with me.
165
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,483
VERONICA: Do it!
166
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,919
Dear God, this is
so boring and creepy.
167
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,788
Just talk about
my wiener already!
168
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:30,691
Okay!
Check it out, people.
169
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,325
Oh, crap. What's happening?
This is what
the guys brought
170
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,128
to their stupid
dong-apalooza.
171
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,397
I thought we could use it
to spice things up.
172
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:39,132
And how exactly will it
do that?
173
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:42,135
Dude!
Is that the cup?
The cup?
174
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,704
If you let me kiss it,
drinks are on the house.
175
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,405
* Ta-da
(CLICKS TONGUE)
176
00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:46,940
WOMEN: (CHANTING)
Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
177
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,075
(SLURPING)
Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink!
178
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,810
Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
179
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:52,012
(CHEERING)
180
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,347
Please, sir,
can I have some more?
181
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,617
Oh, my God.
This is gonna get ugly.
182
00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:59,019
(ICE CUBES CLINK)
(SLURRING)
Okay, it's gossip time,
183
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,320
and I've got some.
184
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,690
Molly saw Cameron naked.
(CHUCKLES)
185
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,292
(WOMEN HOOTING)
186
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,660
Please don't.
187
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,328
No. Please don't.
I don't feel
very comfortable
188
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,429
speaking about
this right now.
189
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,031
So you saw
his little weenie?
190
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,100
No. No, not little!
She said, "Little?"
191
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,669
First of all,
I never said
it was little.
192
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,638
Thank you. Thank you.
I love you!
(WOMEN GASP)
193
00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:19,372
So you're saying
Cameron has a kickstand?
194
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,641
Well, no,
not that either.
195
00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:22,510
It's sort of
exceedingly average.
196
00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:24,778
Eh.
197
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,880
At this point,
I'm starting to wish
we never did
198
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,549
this whole
Green Card marriage.
199
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:30,684
Everything is just
so awkward now.
200
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:33,487
Okay, forget about all that.
Do you think he's cute?
201
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:36,123
Well... Yes.
202
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,358
WOMEN: (SINGSONG)
Ooh. Ooh!
203
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,260
(LAUGHS)
VERONICA:
Would you kiss him?
204
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:43,296
Well, I don't know.
Maybe.
205
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:44,798
WOMEN: (SINGSONG)
Maybe?
206
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:46,133
Maybe?
207
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:49,770
Here's a toast
to the lovely peni
of the world
208
00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:52,205
and the useless things
they're attached to.
209
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,373
What are those called?
210
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,242
WOMEN: Men! Whoo!
211
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,077
* Yeah, I got 'em
Yeah, I got 'em
212
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,646
* Don't worry
'cause I got 'em
213
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:01,381
* My buzz is just alarmin',
no snooze button on it
214
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:04,284
* Livin' every day's a gift,
so I get everything I wanted
215
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:05,418
* She fallin' like a...
216
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,487
WOMEN:
Go, Kyle! Go, Kyle!
217
00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:10,490
We need seven tacos
and a package of condoms!
218
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,726
* Cake'n up, cake'n up,
cake'n up *
219
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:17,364
(DANCE OF THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRY
PLAYING)
220
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,400
(GRUNTING)
221
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,035
(SINGSONG)
Good morning!
222
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,270
(NORMAL VOICE)
Who's up for flapjacks
223
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,872
and Bloody Marys?
(CHUCKLES)
224
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,807
Well, aren't you sweet?
225
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:29,176
I hope you don't mind,
but I washed and dressed you.
226
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:31,979
Oh, gosh.
227
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,246
Well, I hate to break up
the party,
228
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,282
but I feel like I'd better
get back to the office
229
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,085
before Oz finds out
that I took the cup.
230
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:40,788
Uh, Carol,
where'd you put the cup?
231
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,489
Well, I know you had it
at the bar,
232
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:43,924
but then
you didn't have it
afterwards
233
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:46,059
when we went to the rave
or the cock fight
234
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,360
or when we were
in the baseball field
235
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:48,662
with those Persian guys.
236
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,099
Ohh.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
237
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:56,469
Hello?
Morning, Vee.
How are you doing?
238
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,606
Fantastic.
Couldn't be better.
(SLAPS THIGH)
239
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,241
Only thing is,
I'm not exactly sure
240
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:03,010
where the cup is.
(LAUGHS)
241
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,812
Fantastic! Great. Great.
242
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,847
What'd she have
to say, Oz?
Where's the cup?
243
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,849
No worries.
She's just having it
polished up for you.
244
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,050
You're gonna kill me,
right?
245
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:12,485
(CHUCKLES)
Yes. Yes, I am.
246
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,522
Okay, good.
Appreciate your honesty.
247
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:18,325
Well, (CLEARS THROAT)
it's been fun.
248
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,227
It'll be here
at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.
249
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:21,862
It better be.
250
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,264
'Cause if it's not,
we're gonna punch
everyone in the office.
251
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:28,368
Except you.
We're kinda
scared of you.
252
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,005
So, it's come
to my attention that
253
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,642
there were some
very serious threats
made here yesterday.
254
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:35,809
Buddy?
255
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,444
(CHUCKLES)
Not that I recall.
256
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:41,014
Please. You said, at 3:00,
you were gonna whup my butt.
257
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,850
You know what?
I happen to have
258
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,753
a pamphlet on
resolving conflict
in the workplace.
259
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,755
I think that really
might help you guys.
260
00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:49,957
You see that?
261
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,292
He just made the universal
throat-slitting sign.
262
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,628
(CHUCKLES)
You're paranoid, son.
I was fixing my tie.
263
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:55,829
(LOWERED VOICE) Seriously,
I think he's on drugs.
264
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,164
Drugs?
BUDDY: Yeah.
265
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,099
Well, you know,
I have two pamphlets
on that.
266
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:00,868
(SMACKS)
(WHISPERS) All right.
267
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,269
Oh! Look!
268
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:03,704
Right there.
Right there.
269
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:06,373
He just punched his fist
into his big, meaty hand!
270
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,842
(CHUCKLES) Are you crazy?
That was just a bug
271
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,444
which I squished
and destroyed.
272
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,714
Carol, how are you missing
the subtext of this?
273
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:16,717
Clearly, I'm the bug
in the scenario.
274
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,919
Are we done?
(CHUCKLES) I've really got
some work to do.
275
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,755
Till 3:00.
276
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:22,923
Tattletale.
277
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,726
(CLOCK TICKING)
278
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,398
(GULPS)
279
00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:38,305
I can't believe
you lost the cup.
280
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:39,873
Veronica, there are
certain things
281
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:40,974
that are simply...
(BLADE ZINGS)
282
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,342
...irreplaceable.
283
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:43,744
Um, uh, I have a suggestion.
284
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:45,512
Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup!
When Oz has the samurai sword,
285
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:46,980
we don't speak-y.
286
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:49,783
If word leaks out
that we lost that cup,
287
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:52,285
it's going to ruin
this company's reputation.
288
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:54,654
I hope your silly little
girls' night was worth it!
289
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:57,257
You took it to your
dumb pickle party.
290
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,459
Don't you think
that's a tiny bit of
a double standard?
291
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:01,261
I think it's a huge
double standard...
(WHOOSHES)
292
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:04,264
Because we'd never lose it!
(ZINGS)
293
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,370
(GASPS)
(CLATTERS)
294
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:13,606
Okay, guys, um,
I think I might be able
295
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,343
to help figure out
what happened.
296
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:17,544
Molly, will you give us
the room?
297
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:18,812
What? No.
298
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,547
Spit it out!
Okay, okay!
299
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:23,516
Last night,
I kinda, sort of, spied
300
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:26,019
on your girls' night
and, maybe,
301
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,154
heard everything you said.
302
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,990
(GASPS)
Everything?
303
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:31,759
The bright side,
if the cup went missing,
304
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,661
it's all on tape,
as is the fact
that you
305
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:35,796
think I'm cute
and you'd kiss me.
306
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,566
(WHISPERS)
Wonderful.
307
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,168
(CLAPS HANDS)
All right.
Let's go look at the tapes.
308
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:44,304
No! Cam and I are going
to look at the tapes.
309
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,606
How about Molly and I
look at the tapes
310
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:47,975
and we go find the cup?
311
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,977
No, you are going
to sit down
312
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:53,814
at that split-in-half desk
and do nothing!
313
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,049
Come on.
314
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:59,386
Oh, this is guys' night
all over again.
315
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:02,589
Well, guess what, Molly?
Today belongs to the women.
316
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,424
Mmm.
Come on.
317
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,559
Let's go find
that freaking cup.
318
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,932
Okay, so here's the point
where the girls took off.
319
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,767
That's when I started
packing it in.
320
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,602
(TAPE FAST-FORWARDS)
321
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,039
Bingo-bango. Busboy.
322
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:20,908
Let's boogie!
Come on. Come on.
323
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,309
No, Oz! Oz!
324
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:23,543
(LOWERED VOICE)
Buddy's gonna
punch my face in.
325
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,078
You can't allow it, man.
No allowing!
326
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,915
It's a rite of passage.
Every great man
has taken a punch.
327
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:30,050
Even you?
I'm Oz.
328
00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:32,119
I've avoided my whole life
getting punched in the face,
329
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:35,222
but Buddy Revell
is too smart
for the possum act!
330
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,224
What's wrong with him?
I didn't even hit the kid.
331
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,226
I think he's dead.
332
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,929
Holy crap, dude.
Let's get out of here.
333
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:44,464
Don't you get it?
At 3:00, I'm gonna die!
334
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,666
At 3:00,
you become a man!
335
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,735
Ow.
336
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,403
(VOICE BREAKING)
That was right
in my allergy shot.
337
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,839
Every time.
338
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,374
(TICKING)
339
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:56,776
I can't do this!
(GASPS)
340
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,946
You can, and you will.
341
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:01,648
(THUDS)
342
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:02,715
What are you doing?
343
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:06,353
Ticktock.
344
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:11,024
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
345
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:14,694
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
346
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,200
Guys, I'd love to be
included in this, huh?
347
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,802
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
348
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,504
Mmm.
Hector, I know
you speak English.
349
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:25,672
We're in the same
football pool together.
350
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:26,773
(CHUCKLES)
What's going on, man?
351
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,776
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
352
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,614
Mmm.
353
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:35,782
Uh, you know what?
Fine. Fine.
354
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:38,685
I'll just, uh, speak French
and make you guys feel
355
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:40,620
tres miserable, huh?
(SIGHS)
356
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:44,057
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
357
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:46,994
You heard the man.
Let's hit it.
358
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,728
No, I didn't hear anything.
I know nothing.
359
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:50,597
Hector, muy uncool, dude.
360
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:51,999
Hey, what's up, Cam?
361
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:54,701
Hey, Raiders are looking good
this year, huh? (CHUCKLES)
362
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:55,835
Oh.
363
00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:57,204
Hector.
(SIGHS)
364
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,405
We should
probably get going.
365
00:13:58,471 --> 00:13:59,940
Yeah. Come on.
Sorry.
366
00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:02,742
Okay. I just
got off the horn with
the catering company.
367
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,711
It seems the cup was rented
out for a bar mitzvah.
368
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:06,846
Let's get there before
Vee screws up our only lead.
369
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:08,481
Veronica and Molly already
have a head start.
370
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,217
Well, that's where
you come in.
371
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:11,784
You're gonna hack
into their nav system
372
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,453
and send those girls
on a wild-goose chase.
373
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,922
Go, go, go!
(GROANS)
374
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:19,927
AUTOMATED FEMALE VOICE:
You have reached
your destination.
375
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:22,262
(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)
376
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:23,596
Y'all lookin' for a party?
377
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:24,797
Uh, yes, thank you.
378
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,767
The Barry Horowitz
bar mitzvah party?
379
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:31,638
Oh, Molly. You're so naive.
Let me handle this. (CHUCKLES)
380
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:35,675
Would you ask your pimp
where Temple Beth Adonai is?
381
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,777
I think you took
a wrong turn, ladies.
382
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:40,180
Uh, yes, and I think perhaps
the men are behind this.
383
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:41,881
They always are, girls.
384
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,683
Oh, you know what?
While we're here,
we might as well score some...
385
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,652
No, actually, we're fine.
Thank you very much.
386
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,255
Uh, thank you. Good-bye.
387
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,423
Ricky! Look,
I know it's gonna
sound kinda crazy,
388
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:51,992
but I'm kinda fighting
Buddy today.
389
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,626
Yeah. I already
bet 100 bucks.
390
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,728
What? People are betting?
(CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah.
391
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,297
Most people think
it's gonna be a choke-out,
392
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,099
but I'm positive
it's gonna be
a straight beat-down.
393
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:00,300
No, not if I can help it.
394
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,668
I remember you mentioning
every day
395
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,902
that you're a black belt
in karate.
396
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,637
(CHUCKLES)
It's pronounced kay-rah-tay.
397
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,506
Funny backstory...
Okay, look, shut up.
398
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,009
I only have 45 minutes
to learn how to defend myself.
399
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,378
Be my Miyagi.
Teach me.
400
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:13,646
The lesson has
already begun.
401
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,115
(GONG BONGS)
402
00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:16,849
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Aah!
403
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,318
(GRUNTS)
404
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:19,519
Aah! Aah!
405
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:20,720
(GRUNTING)
406
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:23,923
Aah! Bah! Bah! Bah!
407
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,293
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Oh! Wah-bah! Oh!
408
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:27,360
(BONES CRUNCH)
409
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,828
Bah!
410
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,567
(NORMAL VOICE)
So just do that.
411
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:37,904
Really? I can't even
kick a soccer ball.
412
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:40,340
I gotta go.
I have ten minutes left.
Where are you going?
413
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:41,474
I gotta bet more money.
414
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:44,244
But, Ricky! Ricky!
Rick...
415
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,647
Aah.
416
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:51,518
(KLEZMER MUSIC PLAYING)
417
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,421
(CHEERING)
418
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,656
Here's the plan.
We blend, find the cup,
419
00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:58,558
and then we bounce,
and watch out for...
420
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,093
The fairer sex?
421
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,029
Shalom, Oswald.
422
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:06,299
You tried to waylay us,
but as usual,
the womenfolk have prevailed.
423
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,501
As a matter of fact,
we've been made
honorary members
424
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:09,936
of the East Side Maniacs.
425
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,272
Okay, Psycho Vic,
if you'd just lean in
a little bit there...
426
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:13,473
You, too, Z-Murder.
427
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:14,874
Come on. Get in.
428
00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:19,512
Okay, everyone, represent
in three, two, one...
429
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:20,947
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
430
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:24,051
We told you that the women
would find the cup,
431
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,885
and that's exactly
what's going to happen.
432
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,720
They are coming
at 9:00 a.m. sharp
for that cup,
433
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:30,490
so let's just
put a little cease-fire
on our gender war here.
434
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:32,325
Uh, too late, I'm afraid.
435
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,294
You men are
sneaky, devious,
436
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:37,664
and you show your winkies
in the shower and then try
to blame us for it.
437
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,966
Hey, I've seen
all three of your things.
438
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:41,234
You don't see me
complaining.
439
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:42,735
Never you mind my things.
440
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:45,738
As far as I'm concerned,
you win. We surrender.
441
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,507
If it's that important
to you, we'll just...
442
00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:48,675
Go! Go, go, go!
443
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:49,909
Oh!
444
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:51,511
(CLATTERS)
445
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,114
(TICKING)
446
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,784
(WESTERN SHOWDOWN MUSIC
PLAYING)
447
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,019
(TICKS)
448
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:10,797
(THUD)
449
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,301
(THUD)
450
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,570
Okay.
Time to become a man.
451
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,641
(HAVA NAGILA PLAYING)
452
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,875
All right. Cam.
Yeah?
453
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:25,245
Fan out.
It's a huge steel cup.
454
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:26,579
It's one of a kind.
455
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,218
Uh, not exactly.
456
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,886
But... (SIGHS)
Which one's the cup?
457
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:36,423
You must choose wisely.
458
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,392
Oh, hey,
thanks for the tip,
elderly rabbi,
459
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:41,828
but, uh,
I think this is a call
460
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:45,031
for good, old-fashioned
women's intuition.
(CHUCKLES)
461
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,399
Right?
Right.
462
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,034
(CHUCKLES) Yes!
463
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:52,205
Oh, I got you now, baby.
464
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:54,207
(GASPS, NASAL VOICE)
What?
She chose...
465
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,543
Poorly.
466
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:03,150
(CROWD CHANTING)
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
467
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:07,787
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
468
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:10,290
Fight! Fight! Fight!
469
00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:13,593
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
470
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:16,529
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
471
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,132
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
472
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:23,069
What are you doing, man?
473
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:25,338
Uh, punching.
You said you were gonna
whup my butt.
474
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:29,376
Not "butt."
"Bot," as in "robot."
475
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,344
See, this is why
we say "robits."
476
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:34,614
(CROWD MURMURS)
477
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,516
You thought I was gonna
engage in fisticuffs?
478
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,685
I'm a man of peace.
479
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,287
Just take off
your shirts...
480
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:41,654
(WHISPERS)
And fight already.
481
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:46,025
Okay, buddy revell.
Let's do this.
482
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,161
Without the shirt thing,
though.
483
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,597
MAN:
* I'm-a beat that,
beat that down
484
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,064
* I'm-a beat that
485
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,166
(CHEERING)
486
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,301
* I'm-a beat that
487
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,735
Get in there, Cam!
Get in there!
488
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,136
* I'm-a beat that,
beat that down
489
00:18:57,204 --> 00:18:59,005
Oz, I've got it!
No, you don't!
490
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,340
Got it!
No! No!
491
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,175
(BOTH GRUNTING)
492
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,644
* When a beat-down comes,
better not be scared
493
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,913
* I don't really care
if your grandmom's there
494
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,515
* Fight for your life,
ain't no surrender
495
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:09,849
(STRAINED VOICE)
Give it to me. Come on.
Aah!
496
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,251
Let go!
497
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:12,385
(BONES CRUNCH)
Ow!
498
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:14,854
(GRUNTS)
Girl power!
499
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:16,823
(WHIRRING)
500
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,259
Yeah!
501
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:21,694
(CHEERING)
502
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,130
Aah!
503
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:26,299
Oh! Whoa! Whoa!
I got it!
504
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:27,567
I got it!
505
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,736
Oh!
506
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,738
So, uh, how do you know
the Bar Mitzvah boy?
507
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,406
Uh...
Also, are you married?
508
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:34,974
Oz, I need
your help!
Aah!
509
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:36,409
So do I!
510
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:37,977
* I'm-a beat that,
beat that down
511
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,512
* I'm-a beat that,
beat that down *
512
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:40,780
Yeah!
513
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,649
(CROWD) Oh!
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
514
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,187
RICKY:
You can do better
than that!
515
00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:49,689
WOMAN: Whoo!
516
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:50,923
(HISSING)
(MUSIC WARPS AND STOPS)
517
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:52,024
Yes! Whoo!
518
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:54,093
(CHEERING)
519
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,263
All right. You won.
Go ahead and gloat.
520
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:57,764
No, that was epic.
521
00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,800
I've never seen a newbie
last that long
against Billy Bot Thornton.
522
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:03,002
So I can come to Bot Club?
523
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:04,804
First rule?
524
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:13,780
Well... (SIGHS)
525
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,383
That was
a little insane.
526
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:17,950
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
527
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:19,719
Look... (SIGHS)
528
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,721
I'm really sorry
about spying on you.
529
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:24,924
I guess I was just,
you know, embarrassed.
530
00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:27,294
(SIGHS) You've got nothing
to be embarrassed about...
531
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,728
Or overly proud of.
532
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,830
I get it.
I'm average.
533
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,533
And don't read too much
into what I said.
534
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,968
Yes, you're cute.
535
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,104
But most of the time
I just want to kill you.
536
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:39,506
And the feeling's mutual.
537
00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:45,312
All right.
538
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:48,014
Here you go.
All cleaned up.
539
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,050
This cup now has
less chocolate
than the NHL.
540
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:54,153
I guess
it goes without saying,
but...
541
00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:55,988
(SIGHS)
I'm sorry.
542
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,458
It's all okay.
543
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,092
Why don't you
take a seat?
544
00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:03,496
Oh, all right,
but only for a second.
545
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,765
I've decided to
give you the roof.
546
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:07,534
Oh.
You know, Oswald,
547
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,235
I'm really not
as big of a screwup
as you...
548
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:10,970
(CLATTERS)
549
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,040
(CLINKS AND WHOOSHES)
550
00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:16,343
(CRASH)
551
00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:18,144
(CAR ALARM WAILING)
552
00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:24,651
(ALARM CHIRPS AND TURNS OFF)
553
00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:29,722
I'm out.
40286
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