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1
00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:04,572
GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS.
2
00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:06,374
SO HAPPY TO SEE
YOU FINALLY CAME TO YOUR SENSES
3
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:07,808
AND GAVE US ANOTHER SHOT.
4
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:10,010
WELL, WE WENT WITH
ANOTHER SECURITY COMPANY,
5
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,812
AND THEN WE GOT ROBBED.
6
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:15,583
HA. IT'S TOUCHING STORIES LIKE
THAT THAT KEEP US IN BUSINESS.
7
00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,318
WHY DON'T YOU
COME WITH ME THIS WAY,
8
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:19,787
AND I'LL INTRODUCE YOU
TO THE CONTRA CLUB?
9
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:22,790
LOOK ALIVE, PEOPLE!
MR. FOX IS IN THE HOUSE!
10
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,458
FIRST UP, WE GOT CASH,
11
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:26,660
OUR RESIDENT GADGET GEEK
AND SCI-FI FANTASY FREAK.
12
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,796
I'M MORE THAN
MEETS THE EYE, BABY.
(whirs)
13
00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:32,066
AND OF COURSE, MELANIE,
LOCK PICKER AND ASS KICKER.
14
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:34,001
(clank)
YOU LOCK IT, I POP IT.
15
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,936
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST,
CAMERON PRICE,
16
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:37,705
OUR STAR HACKER
AND CYBER CRACKER.
17
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:41,375
(computer beeps)
IF YOU UPLOAD IT,
I'LL... DOWNLOAD IT.
18
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,511
SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW
WE WERE DOING CATCHPHRASES.
19
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:46,680
I GOTTA SAY, OZ--YOU'VE GOT
A WELL-OILED MACHINE HERE.
20
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,249
TOP SECURITY TEAM
IN THE BUSINESS.
21
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:49,583
AND THEY SAVED THE BEST
FOR LAST.
22
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,485
I'M VERONICA,
THE SASSY RECEPTIONIST.
23
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:54,288
I TYPE 14 WORDS A MINUTE.
I KNOW HOW TO E-MAIL.
24
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:55,689
I'M UP TO WINDOWS 95.
25
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:56,490
SHE'S THE TEMP.
26
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,259
YEAH, MORE LIKE TEMPTRESS.
27
00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,993
THAT'S A PEEK UNDER OUR SKIRTS
HERE AT CONTRA.
28
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:03,331
YOU WANT TO SEE ANY MORE, YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO PUT A RING ON IT.
29
00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:06,167
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SIR.
LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
30
00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,136
WELL, I JUST LANDED US
A NICE JOBSKI.
31
00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:09,137
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
32
00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:10,304
YOU GOT FIRST ROUND?
33
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:11,505
I'LL ALLOW IT.
34
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:16,710
(Aerosmith) * SWEET *
35
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:21,949
* EMOTION *
36
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:26,754
* SWEET *
37
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:31,959
* EMOTION *
38
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:35,863
* TALK ABOUT THINGS
THAT NOBODY CARES *
39
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,832
* WEARING OTHER THINGS
THAT NOBODY W-- *
40
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:39,967
(music stops abruptly)
41
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,469
WHAT'S GOING ON, GUYS?
42
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,304
A SECOND AGO,
YOU GUYS WERE ALL LIKE,
43
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:45,473
"WE'RE COOL.
WE'RE IN 'RESERVOIR DOGS.'"
44
00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:47,741
SORRY, TEMP.
IT'S VICTORY DRINKS.
45
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,143
INVITE ONLY.
46
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,544
AND...
47
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:53,447
I JUST BUMPED YOU UP
TO THE V.I.P. LIST.
48
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,349
WE CAN TAKE MY KIA SEDONA!
49
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:56,884
HEY!
(laughs)
50
00:01:56,884 --> 00:02:00,188
WHY IS OZ BEING SO NICE
TO THIS CRAZY LADY?
51
00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:02,756
HE'S DEFINITELY UP TO SOMETHING.
WELL, THEN AGAIN, WHEN ISN'T HE?
52
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,692
NO, EVEN FOR HIM,
THIS IS AN EPIC FAIL.
53
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:07,127
WELL, LOOK, I TOTALLY GET IT.
THE LADY IS AN INSPIRATION
54
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,897
FOR THE GREATEST PRANK
I'M GONNA PULL IN THIS OFFICE.
55
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,532
OOPS, FORGOT MY I.D.
56
00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,401
DON'T WANT ANYBODY THINKING
I'M YOUR KID SISTER.
57
00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:14,902
OKAY, I'M GONNA
FIRE UP THE MINIVAN.
58
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:17,104
HOPE NOBODY'S ALLERGIC TO CATS.
59
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:19,940
PRANK HER, CASH.
PRANK HER HARD.
60
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,141
(whir)
61
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,010
(Michael Wachmander) * AWW *
62
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:24,545
* WE GOT YOUR BACK *
63
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:27,881
Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
64
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,353
HEY. YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?
65
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:34,255
HEY! CAM THE MAN.
66
00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:36,657
THIS IS A VERY,
VERY BIG DAY FOR YOU.
67
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,359
OKAY.
68
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,728
I WOULD LIKE YOU...
TO TAKE A SEAT.
69
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:42,996
BUT THAT'S
YOUR CAPTAIN KIRK CHAIR.
70
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,566
HAVE A SEAT, CHEKOV.
71
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,569
(sighs)
72
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,504
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE
YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME?
73
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:54,575
NO, NO. NO, NO, NO.
THAT'S JUST A VIBE I GIVE OFF.
74
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:58,446
HELPS ME GET TABLES
AT RESTAURANTS.
75
00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:01,315
YOU'VE BEEN HERE
WHAT, A YEAR NOW?
76
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,150
WOULD YOU SAY THAT
YOU'RE HAPPY, CAM?
77
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:05,886
YEAH, OF COURSE. I MEAN,
THIS PLACE IS LIKE FAMILY.
78
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:09,490
YEAH. WE ARE LIKE
A LITTLE FAMILY IN THIS OFFICE.
79
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:13,494
NOW WE HAVE A...
A NEW MEMBER.
80
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,829
(Cameron)
YEAH. KOOKY AUNT RONNIE.
81
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:18,098
I WANT YOU TO TAKE HER
UNDER YOUR WING. YOU KNOW?
82
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,667
UH, SHOW HER THE ROPES.
83
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,469
OH, YEAH, WE'RE GONNA
SHOW HER THE ROPES.
84
00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:24,137
I MEAN, CASH IS PLANNING
SOMETHING EPIC.
85
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,640
NO, NO. STOP RIGHT THERE.
NO PRANKS,
86
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,109
ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE LAST RECEPTIONIST.
87
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:33,781
HEY! ALL YOU NORMAL-SIZE PEOPLE,
HELP ME! I'M SHRINKING!
88
00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:34,748
SERIOUSLY?
89
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,217
SERIOUSLY!
NO TOUCH-Y THAT TEMP-Y.
90
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:40,888
NOW GET OUT THERE AND WELCOME
HER ON INTO THE FOLD.
91
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,823
(Cameron) WE'RE NOT
YOUR TYPICAL OFFICE, YOU KNOW?
92
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:45,459
WE DO HIGH-END SECURITY, SO...
YEAH.
93
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,828
UM, YOU KNOW,
WE PROTECT MUSEUMS...
MM-HMM.
94
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,130
CORPORATIONS,
WEIRD ISLAND COMPOUNDS...
WOW.
95
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,900
YOU KNOW, THINGS CAN GET
KIND OF CRAZY AROUND HERE.
OH, BOY.
96
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:56,036
THE CRAZIEST THING THAT HAPPENED
AT MY OLD OFFICE WAS A LITTLE
97
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:59,507
UNWANTED GAME OF GRAB-ASS
WITH HARRY FROM ACCOUNTING.
98
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,375
OH, MY GOD.
THAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
99
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:04,011
OH, NO.
THAT HAPPENED BY ME. YEAH.
100
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:07,281
OH, LORDY, THAT MAN
HAD A SWEET, SWEET CHASSIS.
101
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:13,086
MM. WHOMP. THERE IT IS.
OH. MM. YEAH.
102
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,622
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
103
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,590
YOU KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING, CAM?
IS YOUR TOUR IS...
104
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:19,593
(blows raspberry)
SO I'M TAKING OVER.
105
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:20,761
W--
106
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:24,865
FIRST UP, WE'VE GOT...
THIS GUY...
107
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:25,999
MITCHELL!
108
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,100
CASH!
109
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,470
WITH THE GADGETS AND THE TOYS
110
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,038
AND THE QUIPPY ONE-LINERS.
111
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,139
I HATE YOUR FACE.
112
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:33,407
ALL RIGHT, NEXT.
113
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:36,076
OH, AND THERE'S
LITTLE MISS HOT POTATO.
114
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,579
YEP, THAT'S MELANIE.
SHE'S OUR LOCK PICKER.
115
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:41,415
MM. SHE IS FINE
LIKE RICE WINE.
116
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:44,752
CAMBY, I HAVE SEEN
THE WAY YOU LOOK AT HER.
117
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:47,254
ARE YOU GUYS...
118
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:48,389
WHAT?
119
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,525
(makes squeaking sounds)
120
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:55,128
(whispers) NO. NO. STOP.
121
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,765
(imitates water running,
gulps)
122
00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,299
(sighs,
resumes squeaking sounds)
123
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,502
(whispers) NO. (normal voice)
PLE--PLEASE STOP THAT.
124
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:02,470
WE'RE NOT--WE DON'T...
125
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:04,338
(makes squeaking sound)
126
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:08,676
NO. NO. WE'RE NOT "EEKY-EEKY."
WE'RE JUST--WE'RE FRIENDS.
127
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,944
SHE WAS DATING THIS TOTAL DOUCHE
UNTIL HE GOT ARRESTED
128
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,246
FOR SELLING CLEAN URINE
TO AIRLINE PILOTS.
WHAT?
129
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:14,748
YEAH, TOTALLY COULD HAVE
MADE A MOVE,
130
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,750
BUT THE LAST THING
I WANTED TO BE WAS A REBOUND,
131
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,519
SO I DIDN'T REALLY--
YOU KNOW WHAT?
132
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,187
NO. I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M--
133
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,589
TOUR'S OVER.
134
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:24,057
WAIT, NO, NO. WE WERE JUST
GETTING TO THE GOOD STUFF.
135
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,460
YOU GOT THE DEETS
ON ALL THE PEEPS.
136
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,696
OOH. WHO'S THAT?
137
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:30,230
THAT'D BE CREEPY CAROL.
138
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,732
SHE'S IN CHARGE OF H.R.
139
00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:34,001
OH, THAT IS SO CUTE.
I LOVE NICKNAMES.
140
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,636
HI, CREEPY CAROL!
141
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:39,006
N--TH--NO. THAT'S MORE OF
A NOT-TO-HER-FACE NICKNAME?
142
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,274
YEAH, WE AVOID HER
AT ALL COSTS.
143
00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,210
EVERY OFFICE HAS ONE, RIGHT?
144
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,612
YEAH.
(chuckles)
145
00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:46,780
(under breath)
AND NOW WE'VE GOT TWO.
146
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,182
(ball clatters)
(Cameron) OHH!
147
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:52,119
OHH. SKUNKED AGAIN.
(laughs)
148
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,722
I'M OFF MY GAME! I MEAN,
I CAN'T PRANK THE NEW GIRL?
149
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,457
THIS IS JUST UN-AMERICAN.
150
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:59,159
OZ SAID... (imitates Oz)
"NO TOUCH-Y THE TEMP-Y."
151
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,929
IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
OZ CHERISHES A GOOD PRANK.
152
00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:03,797
WELL, THE WHOLE THING
WAS STRANGE.
153
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,266
I MEAN, I SAT IN HIS KIRK CHAIR,
HE GAVE ME A BACK RUB, AND...
154
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,768
WE KIND OF HAD A MOMENT.
155
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,102
YOU SAT IN THE KIRK CHAIR?
156
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,671
YOU THINK SOMETHING'S
WRONG WITH OZ?
157
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:13,574
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I KNOW OZ.
158
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:16,243
IF THERE WAS SOMETHING GOING ON,
I'D--OH, MY GOD!
159
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:19,747
THIS IS A FIRST. OZ IS IN
A MEETING WITH CREEPY CAROL?
160
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:20,781
ALONE.
161
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,015
SHE SMELLS LIKE SOUP.
162
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,584
WHY WOULD HE BE
MEETING WITH H.R.?
163
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,252
YOU THINK SOMEBODY'S
GETTING THE BOOT?
164
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:28,956
ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT,
BUT IT'S NOT GONNA BE PLEASANT.
165
00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:31,892
(liquid bubbling)
166
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,762
MM. THAT'S YUMMY.
167
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:37,498
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE
WITH YOU GUYS... AT FUNANIGAN'S.
168
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:40,400
I MEAN, YOU'RE SO PRETTY
AND SO COOL AND SO BLACK,
169
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,769
AND IT'S HAPPENING.
170
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:46,006
MM? HOW COME NOBODY'S SIPPING?
171
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,708
OH.
OH, WE ARE.
172
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:49,376
MMM.
173
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:50,944
MMM.
174
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,947
SO, CAROL, WHAT WAS THAT
BIG MEETING WITH OZ ALL ABOUT?
175
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,282
YEAH, WHO'S GETTING FIRED?
IS IT ME?
MM.
176
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:56,784
I'M GETTING FIRED, AREN'T I?
177
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:59,487
(high-pitched voice) AAH!
GINORMOUS BRAIN FREEZE!
178
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:03,457
(both laugh)
179
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,093
UH, NO. (sighs)
180
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,061
OZ WOULD NEVER FIRE YOU GUYS.
YOU GUYS KNOW THAT.
181
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:11,599
BUT THE COMPANY THAT HE WANTS
TO SELL CONTRA TO MIGHT.
182
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:14,134
I'M JUST SAYING
THERE'S A BIG MEETING TONIGHT.
183
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,470
DON'T TELL ANYONE.
IT'S CONFIDENTIAL, OKAY?
184
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,271
MM, MM.
185
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,840
PSST.
186
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,342
(lowered voice)
I'M REALLY DRUNK.
187
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,777
(sultry R&B music playing)
188
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:27,681
OH, MY GOD.
YOU GUYS, THIS IS MY JAM. (hums)
189
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,588
* SAY WHAT YOU WANNA SAY
IT DON'T PHASE ME *
190
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:39,960
YOU REALLY DON'T THINK
191
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,395
OZ WOULD SELL CONTRA
WITHOUT TALKING TO US?
192
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,297
I KNOW WHY HE'S NOT TALKING.
193
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,767
NEW OWNERS ARE GONNA
CLEAN HOUSE, AND I'M BONED.
194
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:49,269
A 26-YEAR-OLD UBER-GEEK
WHO LIVES IN HIS MA'S GARAGE
195
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:50,904
DOESN'T POP ON A RESUME.
196
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:54,074
UNLESS 401(k) MEANS "I HAVE
400 GRAND IN THE BANK"...
197
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,643
(whispers) I'M SCREWED.
198
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,545
(lowered voice)
OHH, ARE WE GOSSIPING?
199
00:07:57,545 --> 00:08:00,380
(normal voice) OHH, HO HO HO HO.
DISH IT OUT. MOMMY'S HUNGRY.
200
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,550
OH. OKAY. I GET IT.
201
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,251
GOTTA EARN IT.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
202
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:05,586
RESPECK! OKAY.
203
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,187
I'M JUST GONNA
HEAD BACK TO MY BALL,
204
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:09,790
DO A LITTLE DESK-ERCISE,
FIRE UP MY CORE,
205
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:12,560
GET BACK INTO MY LEATHERS.
(chuckles)
206
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,695
I'M COMING FOR YOU,
OFFICE HOTTIE.
207
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,296
(whispers) OH, YES.
208
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:19,032
(normal voice)
I'M GONNA GET HER. (chuckles)
209
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,433
THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOME WIGGLE ROOM
210
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,502
ON THIS PRANKING THING.
211
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:26,540
HEY, OZ. WHERE YOU GOING?
HMM? BIG MEETING?
212
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,576
NO, NO, I, UH...
213
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,678
I'VE GOT A HANKERING
FOR SOME DUMPLINGS.
214
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:32,212
I CAN'T DECIDE
IF I'M GONNA STAY LOCAL
215
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:35,849
OR HEAD TO BEIJING
FOR SOME MAMA FOO'S. PEACE.
216
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,885
ARE YOU SELLING CONTRA?
217
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:40,187
NOW WHY ON EARTH
WOULD I DO SOMETHING
218
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,722
AS INCONCEIVABLE AS THAT?
219
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,223
I DON'T KNOW. ALL RIGHT?
220
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,992
WE CAN'T CONCEIVE
OF HALF THE THINGS YOU DO,
221
00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:47,260
AND THE OTHER HALF,
WE JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.
222
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:50,063
LOOK AT ME. AM I BLINKING?
223
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,633
HUH? ANY TELLS?
224
00:08:55,002 --> 00:09:00,473
I DON'T THINK SO.
I AM NOT SELLING... CONTRA.
225
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:01,975
YOU GOT IT?
226
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:06,580
NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND,
MY SHUMAIAWAITS.
227
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,516
YOU SAW THAT, RIGHT?
228
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,752
(lowered voice)
SWEAT. OZ NEVER SWEATS.
229
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,721
I HEARD HE GOT
HIS SWEAT GLANDS REMOVED.
230
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:14,922
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
231
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,123
WE GOTTA FIGURE OUT
WHO OZ IS MEETING,
232
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,125
AND WE GOTTA
FIGURE IT OUT NOW.
233
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:25,999
GOT ME?
234
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,035
KICK ME IN THE DUMPLINGS.
235
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:30,738
THERE'S OZ.
I GUESS HIS STORY CHECKS OUT.
236
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:35,275
WHO'S HE MEETING?
OH, MY GOD. IT'S RONNIE.
237
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,543
WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?
238
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:38,345
AND WHAT THE HELL
IS SHE DRIVING?
239
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:41,348
NOT A SENSIBLE KIA 5-PASSENGER
MINIVAN, I'LL TELL YOU THAT!
240
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,984
YOU DON'T THINK HER AND OZ
ARE "EEKY-EEKY," DO YOU?
241
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:46,887
WELL, IF THEY ARE,
THEY'RE VERY FORMAL.
242
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,421
WHO IS THIS WOMAN?
243
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,523
WE GOTTA HURRY UP. VERONICA
WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
244
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,259
"MUG HALF BULL."
245
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:56,029
LITTLE FORENSICS,
C.S.I. CONTRA,
246
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,398
LIFTING FINGERPRINTS,
AND GOT IT.
247
00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:01,368
ALL RIGHT. AND SCAN...
248
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,569
(keyboard clicks)
249
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:05,205
HACKING
THE D.M.V. DATABASE NOW.
250
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,707
(beeping)
251
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,508
BINGO-BANGO. GOT A MATCH.
252
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:12,179
LOOKS LIKE
VERONICA MANN IS ACTUALLY...
(key clicks)
253
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:14,047
"VERONICA MANN"?
254
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:17,885
SHE'S A V.P. OF ACQUISITIONS
FOR A COMPANY NAMED "O.C.P."
255
00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:21,321
ACQUISITIONS?
THE WOMAN BUYS UP COMPANIES?
256
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:24,091
WHY ON EARTH WOULD OZ
EVER SELL CONTRA?
257
00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:26,259
HELLO? WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT OZ HERE.
258
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:29,062
THE MAN IS AN ENIGMA
WRAPPED INSIDE OF A PUZZLE
259
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:31,965
WRAPPED INSIDE OF
AN M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN MOVIE.
260
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,734
WELL, THE GOOD ONES.
THE FIRST ONE.
261
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:35,235
KNOW WHAT I THINK?
262
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,937
I THINK VERONICA'S GOING
ALL "UNDERCOVER BOSS,"
263
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,806
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
WHO TO KEEP AND WHO TO LET GO.
264
00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:41,809
OH, MAN, I AM SO FIRED.
265
00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:45,846
...TOYS ON HIS DESK
AND THE QUIPPY ONE-LINERS.
266
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,147
I HATE YOUR FACE.
267
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,816
TOOK ME, LIKE, AN HOUR
TO CLEAN THAT THING.
268
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,684
REALLY FLARED UP
MY TENNIS ELBOW.
269
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,152
(bang, splat)
AH!
270
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,287
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE
SO HILARIOUS ALL THE TIME?
271
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,123
LOOK, SHE DOESN'T KNOW
WE'VE CRACKED HER REAL IDENTITY.
272
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:59,426
LET'S JUST... PUCKER UP
AND SMOOCH SOME BOOTY.
273
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:00,794
(singsongy) GOOD MORNING,
GOOD MORNING, GOOD MORNING!
274
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:01,829
ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY.
275
00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,630
UH, HEY!
HEY, GIRL!
276
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,298
VERONICA, WHAT'S UP?
HEY, Y--
277
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:06,867
DO YOU WANT SOME COFFEE?
278
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:09,136
'CAUSE I-I WILL DRIVE TO
THE JAVA HUT AND EVERYTHING.
279
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,804
MY MAMA'S NAME IS VERONICA.
280
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,405
I LIKE YOU.
281
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,007
OKAY.
282
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:17,544
I KNOW
WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE, GUYS.
283
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:20,613
AM I MAKING OFFICE FRIENDS?
IS THAT WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?
284
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,282
UH, YEAH?
COME ON.
285
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:26,353
OH, MY GOSH. UH, CAN I MAKE YOU
ONE OF MY FAMOUS BANANA BREADS?
286
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,654
YOU KIDDING ME?
287
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:29,422
(all)
WE LOVE BANANA BREAD!
288
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:32,559
OH, I KNEW YOU WOULD.
HEY, WHAT'S THIS DOING HERE?
289
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,995
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
MY CAT GETS IN THE BATTER,
290
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,230
BUT USUALLY IT'S FINE,
SO... BUDDIES!
291
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:38,231
ALL RIGHT.
292
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,400
(hands clap)
293
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,270
EXCELLENT PERFORMANCE, KIDDIES.
WHAT TIME'S YOUR NEXT SHOW?
294
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,238
CUTE, BUT YOU LIED
RIGHT TO OUR FACES.
295
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,040
(lowered voice) I WANTED
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
296
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,375
BUT RONNIE
WAS RIGHT IN EARSHOT,
297
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,810
AND IT WAS PART
OF A CONDITION OF THE SALE.
298
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,211
EVERYTHING HAD TO
BE CONFIDENTIAL.
299
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,880
I KEPT TRYING TO
DROP YOU GUYS CLUES.
300
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,081
WHAT CLUES?
301
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:55,983
OZ DON'T SWEAT.
(liquid drops)
302
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,584
AND, CAM,
AS MUCH AS I LOVE YA,
303
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,787
I DON'T RUB DUDES' SHOULDERS
JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT.
304
00:11:59,787 --> 00:12:02,422
OF COURSE. I MEAN,
THIS PLACE IS LIKE FAMILY.
(rhythmic beeps)
305
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:03,723
YEAH.
306
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,926
MORSE CODE?
WHO USES MORSE CODE ANYMORE?
307
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:07,694
IT'S VERY POPULAR
WITH THE SOMALI PIRATES.
308
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,229
OKAY. NOW WE KNOW.
309
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,098
CAN YOU PLEASE TELL US
WHY YOU'RE SELLING CONTRA?
310
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,600
WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY? THEY MADE
ME AN OFFER I COULDN'T REFUSE.
311
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,002
YOU SOLD US OUT FOR MONEY?
312
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:17,004
(sighs) THAT'S USUALLY
HOW A SALE WORKS, CAM,
313
00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:18,671
BUT LOOK,
IT'S ALL COPACETIC.
314
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,607
JUST SHOW RONNIE HOW TALENTED
AND WONDERFUL YOU GUYS ARE,
315
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,709
AND WE'RE FINE.
OH, GOD, NO.
316
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,444
SHE'S GONNA
SEE MY TALENT FIRSTHAND.
317
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:27,047
HUH?
I RIGGED
HER DAMN HIPPITY HOP.
318
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:32,685
(hissing)
319
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,054
I TOLD YOU, NO PRANKS!
320
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,223
I TOLD YOU, NO PRANKS!
I DIDN'T LISTEN!
321
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,863
(slow-motion voice) OH, NO!
322
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:44,764
(creaking)
323
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,433
(bang)
324
00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:53,606
LOOKS LIKE
THE CAT'S OUT OF THE BAG.
325
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,276
YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO BE
UNDERCOVER, OLD RONNIE BRASCO.
326
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,544
HI!
327
00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,247
SO SORRY FOR
THE EXPLODING FITNESS PRODUCT.
328
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:02,382
IN MY DEFENSE,
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU MATTERED.
329
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:05,252
RONNIE HERE WORKS
FOR OPTIMAL CONSUMER PRODUCTS.
330
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:07,120
THEY'RE ROLLING UP
SECURITY COMPANIES,
331
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,556
AND THEY'VE GOT
THEIR HUGE, CORPORATE DART
332
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:12,292
AIMED RIGHT AT THE BULL'S-EYE--
OUR LITTLE CONTRA BAND. HA HA.
333
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,094
(lowered voice)
I MAY BE YOUR NEW BOSS.
334
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:16,429
(normal voice)
QUESTIONS? COMMENTS? CONCERNS?
335
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:17,931
LITTLE HANDS, SHOOT.
336
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:21,434
(sighs) MY DOCTOR SAYS
THEY'RE PROPORTIONAL.
337
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:23,736
N-NEVER MIND.
338
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,072
OKAY, HERE'S THE DEALIO.
339
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,307
WHEN O.C.P. BUYS A COMPANY,
340
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,943
THEY'RE REALLY BUYING
ITS EMPLOYEES,
341
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:32,946
SO NOW THAT
YOU'VE BLOWN MY COVER,
342
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:34,882
I HAVE TO GET
THE INFORMATION ABOUT YOU
343
00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:38,085
THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY--
SELF-EVALUATIONS!
344
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:41,354
JUST DEFINE YOURSELVES FOR ME,
WOULD YA?
345
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:44,091
I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOU--
WHAT NEEDS IMPROVEMENT,
346
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,826
WHO'S THE WEAKEST LINK,
WHO'S A TOTAL DICK...
347
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:50,097
OKAY, SO YOU WANT US TO
THROW EACH OTHER UNDER THE BUS?
348
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,865
NO, CAMMY, NOT UNDER.
349
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:55,102
JUST PUT 'EM NEAR THE TIRES,
AND I'LL JAM IT INTO REVERSE.
350
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:57,104
(lowered voice)
SHE'S GIVING ME A FEAR BONER.
351
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:59,539
HELLO. HI. SORRY I'M LATE.
352
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,841
IT WAS A TERRIBLE FUSS
GETTING THE BALL UP THE STAIRS,
353
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,644
AS I'M SURE YOU CAN IMAGINE.
UM, DOES ANYBODY HAVE A TISSUE?
354
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:07,180
I'M ACTUALLY RATHER
ALLERGIC TO HUMPHREY,
355
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,950
WHICH--I THINK
I'VE TOLD YOU THAT BEFORE.
NO.
356
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:14,154
I--NO, I-I'M PRETTY SURE I HAVE,
'CAUSE I GET THE RED EYES AND...
357
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,588
YEAH. ISN'T SHE CUTE?
358
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:19,192
THIS IS MY EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT,
MOLLY HUGHES.
359
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,329
SHE RUNS RONNIE-LAND,
ALSO KNOWN AS VERONICA-VILLE,
360
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:25,398
SO YOU CAN JUST E-MAIL
THOSE EVALS TO THIS E-GAL.
361
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:27,167
OH. SMASHING.
362
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,836
THAT'S ANOTHER THING YOU HAVEN'T
TOLD ME ABOUT ABOUT THERE.
363
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,404
(laughs) YOU ARE SO FUNNY.
364
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,040
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE
THE WAY SHE TALKS?
365
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,442
(British accent)
SHE'S FROM ACROSS THE POND.
366
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:38,545
JUST MAKES EVERYTHING
SOUND SO ADORABLE.
367
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,047
AH.
(normal voice)
I JUST WANT TO PICK HER UP
368
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,448
AND PUT HER IN MY POCKET.
OKAY.
369
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:43,783
YOU KIDS HAVE GOT
SOME HOMEWORK TO ATTEND TO,
370
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,418
SO LET'S GET ON THAT.
371
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,887
IS THIS GONNA EXPLODE?
I DON'T KNOW. LET'S FIND OUT.
372
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,057
(making beeping sound)
373
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,524
NICE TO MEET YOU.
374
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:52,692
(Cameron) OH, MY GOD.
375
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,694
I THOUGHT "KOOKY AUNT RONNIE"
WAS JUST AN ACT.
376
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,663
THAT'S REALLY HER PERSONALITY.
377
00:14:56,663 --> 00:15:00,100
YOU WANT HER TO BUY OUR OFFICE?
HER? ARE YOU CRAZY?
378
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,868
BOOP. I'LL ALLOW IT.
379
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,004
WELL, NO, I WON'T.
380
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,272
I'M SORRY,
BUT I'M NOT WORKING
381
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:07,574
FOR RONNIE
OR HER FACELESS CONGLOMERATE.
382
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,409
WELL, AT THE MOMENT,
YOU WORK FOR ME,
383
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,544
SO I SAY CLICKETY CLACKY,
TYPE-Y TYPE-Y.
NO WAY.
384
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:14,247
BEING A CORPORATE BITCH GOES
AGAINST EVERYTHING I STAND FOR.
385
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,683
I'M NOT EVALUATING ANYTHING.
386
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,351
CAM, WAIT.
387
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,887
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO DO
SOMETHING I DON'T LIKE TO DO...
388
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:23,723
TELL THE TRUTH. (pants)
389
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,592
I'M BROKE, CAM.
390
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,627
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU DRIVE A MASERATI.
391
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,896
YOU FLY TO CHINA
TO GET APPETIZERS.
392
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,664
YOU OWN A WHITE TIGER!
393
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,433
I'M NOT SAYING I'M UNHAPPY.
394
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,302
I'M SAYING I'M BROKE, AND IF
THIS DEAL DOESN'T GO THROUGH,
395
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:36,903
EVERYBODY GETS
KICKED TO THE CURB,
396
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:39,406
AND THAT IS THE THING
THAT WOULD MAKE ME UNHAPPY.
397
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:41,141
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL FILL OUT THE FORM.
398
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:42,942
AW, GIVE OZ A HUG.
399
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,544
OKAY, ALL RIGHT...
400
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,746
COME ON.
401
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:50,083
OH, CAM, HEY. HOW'S THIS SOUND
FOR A SELF-EVALUATION?
402
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,885
"DEAR O.C.P., SUCK IT."
403
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:53,886
WAIT, WHAT?
404
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,488
NO, NO, YOU WERE RIGHT, CAM.
405
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,890
WE'RE NOT GONNA LET OZ SELL
OUR OFFICE FOR A QUICK BUCK.
406
00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:01,428
I-I REALLY DON'T THINK
YOU SHOULD SEND THOSE TO MOLLY.
407
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:02,962
GOOD CALL.
408
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:03,963
BOOM.
409
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,932
SENT IT TO VERONICA.
410
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:07,734
YOU SHOULD READ WHAT SHE WROTE.
411
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,902
(whispers)
YOU HAVE A DIRTY, DIRTY MOUTH.
412
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,171
YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
413
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:13,173
I WAS JUST TALKING WITH OZ,
AND HE--
414
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:16,243
(whirring)
415
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,180
(whirring stops)
416
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,449
YOU--YOU WANT ME
TO C.C. YOU ON THIS?
417
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:25,385
(typing)
418
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:27,987
(beep)
419
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,261
OKAY, CASH, MEL, AND DELETE.
420
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,768
HEY THERE, BIG GUY.
HEY.
421
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,436
WHATCHA DOING?
422
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:46,673
OH, JUST SURFING... PORN.
PORNOGRAPHY. I HAVE A PROBLEM.
423
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,709
OH, I LOVE PORNOGRAPHY.
WHICH SITE?
424
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,944
THE--NAKED--GIRL--FEMALES.
425
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,880
OH, MY GOSH. ARE YOU HIGH?
426
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,448
WHAT?
DID YOU REALLY THINK
427
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,684
A BILLION-DOLLAR COMPANY
THAT ROLLS UP SECURITY FIRMS
428
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:01,554
WASN'T GONNA NOTICE IF YOU
HACKED INTO THEIR V.P.'s E-MAIL?
429
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,190
OKAY, WAIT.
RONNIE, I CAN EXPLAIN.
430
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,591
THIS IS MY PERSONAL LIFE
YOU'RE INVADING.
431
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,426
WHAT DID YOU SEE, CAM?
I DIDN'T SEE--I--
432
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:09,596
PRIVATE E-MAILS? DOCUMENTS
FROM MY DIVORCE ATTORNEY?
433
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,165
(gasps)
SOME REGRETTABLE PHOTOGRAPHS
434
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:14,834
TAKEN DURING
AN EMOTIONAL LOW POINT...
435
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:17,537
WAIT. STOP. (sighs) I--YOU'RE
TELLING ME WAY MORE THAN I SAW.
436
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,938
IS THERE SOME KIND OF
PROBLEM HERE, RONNIE?
437
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:20,207
OZ,
I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP.
438
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:22,309
SO THIS WAS YOUR IDEA, OSWALD.
439
00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:25,645
I AM A FUN GAL, VERY, VERY
PERSONABLE, IF YOU WILL,
440
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,013
BUT THERE IS A LINE,
441
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:29,482
AND YOUR FRACK DOESN'T KNOW
WHERE THE FRICK IT IS.
442
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,684
WHOA.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
443
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,886
I AM SAYING THAT
YOUR LITTLE CONTRA CLUB
444
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:38,125
ISN'T O.C.P. MATERIAL AFTER ALL.
THE DEAL IS OFF.
445
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,936
YOU'RE KIND OF GIVING ME
THAT KILL VIBE AGAIN.
446
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,204
(clank)
447
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:54,107
ALL RIGHT.
448
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:55,775
BEERS ARE ON ME.
449
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:58,511
IT'S THE LEAST I COULD DO
FOR, YOU KNOW, RUINING LIVES.
450
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,147
(Oz) IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, CAM.
451
00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:01,781
WELL, IT TOTALLY 100% IS,
452
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,184
BUT I AM THE GUY WHO PLACED YOU
IN THIS POSITION, SO...
453
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:06,719
TO CONTRA.
IT'S BEEN A HELL OF A RIDE.
454
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,255
MM.
MM.
455
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,857
(clink)
YOU KNOW WHAT?
MAYBE IT'S NOT OVER.
456
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:13,593
ALL THIS TIME,
OZ HAS HAD OUR BACKS,
457
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:16,863
EVEN WHEN WE DIDN'T KNOW IT,
SO MAYBE IT'S TIME WE HAD YOURS.
458
00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:19,199
LET'S JUST SHOW O.C.P.
WE'RE WORTH BUYING.
459
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:22,435
(sighs)
SOUNDS IMPOSSIBLE...
460
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,972
BUT I AM STARTING
TO LIKE THOSE ODDS.
461
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,407
OKAY. LET'S TALK TURKEY.
462
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:28,941
TOMORROW AT 10:00 A.M.,
OLD RONNIE MANN
463
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,977
MEETS WITH THE BOARD
TO KIBOSH THE CONTRA DEAL.
464
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,812
THAT MEANS WE'VE ONLY GOT
A FEW HOURS TO FIGURE OUT
465
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,881
HOW TO GET IN FRONT OF
THOSE SUITS BEFORE SHE DOES.
466
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:37,917
THEY'RE A BILLION-DOLLAR COMPANY
RUNNING MILITARY-GRADE SECURITY.
467
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,886
YOU KNOW WHAT? IF RONNIE'S
BIG MEETING IS SET FOR 10:00,
468
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:41,321
LET'S SET OUR OWN FOR 9:00.
469
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,323
HEY. DON'T GET YOURSELF
LASSOED AGAIN, COWBOY.
470
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,358
DON'T WORRY. THIS TIME,
I'M BEHIND SEVEN PROXIES.
471
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,759
MOLLY'S COMPUTER
WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT IT.
472
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,395
I'M OVERRIDING
HER CALENDAR SETTINGS.
473
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:50,330
GOT NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST SAID.
474
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,364
(Cameron)
MELANIE, YOU'RE IN CHARGE
475
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:52,632
OF GETTING US IN THE DOOR.
476
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,234
(bangs, whir)
477
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,636
FIRST FLOOR'S TRICKED OUT
WITH PALM RECOGNITION SCANNERS.
478
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,172
THAT'S ALL CASH.
All right. Security guard is
479
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:01,941
A CLIPPERS SEASON TICKET HOLDER.
SAY EXACTLY WHAT I SAY.
480
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:04,777
OKAY. MIKEY D.
CLIPPERS, RIGHT? BLAKE GRIFFIN!
481
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:07,947
BLAKE GRYFFINDOR!
HARRY POTTER, Y'ALL!
482
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:08,948
DON'T GEEK IT UP.
483
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:09,949
I think I got his prints.
484
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,218
LET'S SEE IF THIS WORKS.
485
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,221
(beeps)
486
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,488
(lowered voice) WE ARE IN.
487
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,492
(all, singsongy) RONNIE!
488
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,195
(Cameron) THERE SHE IS. HEY.
489
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:23,396
HA HA. WOW.
490
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:26,433
KID. FANTASTIC.
491
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:29,402
YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN.
BRILLIANT PRESENTATION.
492
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,905
JUST REFRESH...
MY MEMORY AS TO WHY THAT IS.
493
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,475
HAVING THEM BREAK INTO O.C.P....
494
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,444
IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW.
495
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:42,349
TO SHOW US THE FLAWS IN OUR OWN
"UNBREAKABLE" SECURITY.
"UNBREAKABLE."
496
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,551
WELL, SIR, LET ME JUST SAY,
497
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:48,355
I CAME HERE TO CHEW BUBBLE GUM
AND KICK ASS...
498
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,523
(whispers)
AND I'M ALL OUT OF BUBBLE GUM.
499
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:54,961
I MAY USE THAT SOMETIME,
BUT RIGHT NOW? TAKE A BOW.
500
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,329
HMM-HMM.
501
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:59,632
WE HAVE A DEAL.
502
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,502
YEAH.
503
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:07,374
WELL, GOOD MORNING,
CONTRA SECURITY--
504
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:10,910
A DIVISION
OF OPTIMAL CONSUMER PRODUCTS.
505
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:14,146
IT'S ABOUT TO GET
REAL AWESOME UP IN HEA.
506
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,982
(Simple Minds' "Don't You
(Forget About Me)" playing)
507
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:19,386
MY SHARONNIE. NICE TO SEE YOU
BEING SUCH A GOOD SPORT.
508
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,787
WELL, YOU KNOW ME.
509
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:23,323
IT'S GONNA BE REAL JOY
HAVING YOU HERE.
510
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,292
WELL, THAT REMAINS TO BE SEEN.
511
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:27,760
BY THE BY, I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU'RE STILL INTERESTED IN
512
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,463
THESE SELF-EVALUATION LETTERS,
BUT YOU NEVER GOT MINE.
513
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,799
OH. WELL, THANK YOU.
514
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,801
CHEERIO.
515
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,270
(Oz) "DEAR RONNIE,
516
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,038
"YOU SAID,
WHEN YOU BUY A COMPANY,
517
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:42,642
"YOU BUY MORE THAN THE NAME--
YOU BUY THE PEOPLE IN IT.
518
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:44,544
"YOU CAME HERE
TO FIGURE OUT WHO WE ARE
519
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:46,646
"AND TO DEFINE US
IN OUR SIMPLEST TERMS
520
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:49,181
"AND MOST CONVENIENT
DEFINITIONS--
521
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:50,950
"THE TECHIE...
522
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,585
THE CRIMINAL..."
523
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,186
(crackles)
"THE BRAIN...
524
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:56,823
"THE BASKET CASE...
525
00:20:56,823 --> 00:20:57,990
"AND ME.
526
00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,826
"SURE,
YOU THINK WE'RE A BAD BET,
527
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:02,829
"BUT SOMETIMES THE LONGEST ODDS
PAY OFF THE BEST.
528
00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:05,965
SINCERELY YOURS,
THE CONTRA CLUB."
529
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:10,136
WELL... SEEMS LIKE WE MAY
HAVE OUR WORK CUT OUT FOR US.
530
00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:12,605
* LA LA LA LA *
531
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:16,609
* LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA *
532
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:19,479
* LA LA LA LA *
533
00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:21,113
* LA LA LA LA *
534
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:25,051
* LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA *
535
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:27,754
WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
536
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,856
(chuckles)
537
00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:34,761
* LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA *
40024
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