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1
00:02:00,033 --> 00:02:02,100
THESE LOVELY YOUNG PEOPLE
ON EITHER SIDE OF ME
2
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:04,100
ARE THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS.
3
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:06,100
IF THERE IS A HOLE
IN YOUR SECURITY,
4
00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:08,100
WE WILL FIND IT
BEFORE THE BAD GUYS DO.
5
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,100
NOW A LEGEND OF
YOUR EXTRAORDINARY STATURE NEEDS
6
00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:12,600
THE EXTRAORDINARY SECURITY
THAT ONLY CONTRA CAN PROVIDE.
7
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,933
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, CHAMP?
FINE. YOU'RE HIRED.
8
00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:18,900
(thud on glass)
OH, HO HO HO HO!
9
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:24,400
(makes whooshing sounds)
HO HO HO HO! "IRON MIKE" TYSON!
10
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,367
MAN, I HAVE SEEN EVERY FIGHT
YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN.
11
00:02:27,367 --> 00:02:31,833
WOULD YOU DO ME THE HONOR OF
PUNCHING ME SQUARE IN THE FACE?
SEEMS LIKE YOU NEED
YOUR BRAIN CELLS.
12
00:02:31,833 --> 00:02:34,133
VERBAL RIGHT HOOK
TO THE CRANIUM.
13
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:37,233
(makes whooshing sound)
AWESOME!
14
00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:39,533
OKAY, MY LITTLE PRIZE FIGHTERS,
15
00:02:39,533 --> 00:02:43,033
LET'S GO OVER THIS ONE MORE
TIME. WHAT'S OUR TOP PRIORITY?
16
00:02:43,033 --> 00:02:46,533
(all) MIKE TYSON.
AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU
IF IRON MIKE'S ESTATE
17
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,567
ISN'T 100% SECURE?
(all) YOU'LL LOCK US
IN A DANK BASEMENT
18
00:02:49,567 --> 00:02:52,633
AND SEW US TOGETHER LIKE
A HUMAN CENTIPEDE.
19
00:02:52,633 --> 00:02:54,733
EXACTLY. SO HOP TO IT.
EXCEPT YOU, BUTTERSCOTCH.
20
00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:57,367
YOU'RE WORKING ON A SEPARATE
CASE, AWAY FROM MELANIE.
21
00:02:57,367 --> 00:02:59,300
WHAT? WHY?
22
00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:01,933
OH, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE BECAUSE
YOUR LITTLE OFFICE CRUSH
23
00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:04,933
IS CRUSHING THIS OFFICE.
NEED I REMIND YOU...
WHAT? I...
24
00:03:04,933 --> 00:03:06,667
WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK?
(beep)
25
00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:10,100
NO, LIKE, I LOVE YOU.
26
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:13,200
I'M SORRY, BUT I DO.
I LOVE YOU, MELANIE.
27
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:16,233
I ALREADY MADE IT
MY RINGTONE. CHECK IT OUT.
28
00:03:16,233 --> 00:03:19,533
(Cameron, Auto-Tuned voice)
* I LOVE YOU, MELANIE *
RIGHT?
29
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:22,633
* I LOVE YOU *
OKAY, NO ONE
CAN LET DUTCH HEAR THIS.
30
00:03:22,633 --> 00:03:24,633
HE GETS...
(whispers) REALLY JEALOUS.
31
00:03:24,633 --> 00:03:27,733
OKAY, NOW I'M GONNA DO
YOUR BREAST EXAM.
(smack)
32
00:03:27,733 --> 00:03:31,100
KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS
OFF MY GIRL. HEY, BABY.
33
00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:33,267
OZ, I SWEAR, EVERYTHING'S COOL
WITH ME AND MELANIE.
34
00:03:33,267 --> 00:03:36,267
JUST LET ME DO THE TYSON JOB,
AND I PROMISE,
35
00:03:36,267 --> 00:03:38,433
IT WON'T BE AWKWARD.
HYAH!
36
00:03:38,433 --> 00:03:40,067
SORRY I'M LATE.
37
00:03:40,067 --> 00:03:43,767
JUST CHUCKING SOME NUN. GOTTA
GET PUMPED UP FOR MICHAEL TYSON.
38
00:03:43,767 --> 00:03:46,767
TWO THINGS WE GOT IN COMMON...
(sets sunglasses down)
39
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:51,067
WE BOTH HATE WEARING SHIRTS
AND WE BOTH HAVE TATTOOS,
40
00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:54,600
ONLY HIS... IS ON HIS FACE!
41
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,033
(blows raspberry)
42
00:03:57,033 --> 00:03:58,633
(sighs)
43
00:03:58,633 --> 00:04:03,067
YOU INTERESTED IN HEARING ABOUT
THE OTHER JOB YET, CAMBO?
YES, I AM.
44
00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:05,067
(Michael Wandmacher's
"We Got Your Back" playing)
45
00:04:05,067 --> 00:04:08,100
* WE GOT YOUR BACK *
46
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:10,933
ALL RIGHT, SO YOUR JOB
IS A CINCH. YOU GOTTA TAKE CARE
47
00:04:10,933 --> 00:04:13,933
OF A 16-YEAR-OLD KID
NAMED LESLIE KACZANDER.
SWEET. SO WHAT IS HE?
48
00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:17,733
INTERNET BILLIONAIRE? BOY BAND
POP STAR? TEEN MAYOR? WHAT?
RANDOM DWEEBUS.
49
00:04:17,733 --> 00:04:20,667
HIS PARENTS HIRED US TO FIND OUT
WHO'S BEEN CYBERBULLYING HIM
50
00:04:20,667 --> 00:04:24,067
ON THE INTERNET.
SERIOUSLY? I DON'T WANT TO
BABYSIT SOME HIGH SCHOOL GEEK.
51
00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:26,167
AW, CAMPON,
YOU'RE ACTING ALL SKITTISH
52
00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:29,767
BECAUSE YOU WERE
A HIGH SCHOOL GEEK.
(lowered voice)
ALL RIGHT, REMEMBER,
53
00:04:29,767 --> 00:04:31,867
IF ANYONE ASKS, YOU LIKE GUYS,
AND YOU'RE NOT MY COUSIN.
(camera shutter clicks)
54
00:04:31,867 --> 00:04:34,533
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, FINE.
HIGH SCHOOL WASN'T ALL ROSES.
55
00:04:34,533 --> 00:04:37,700
MAYBE I WAS A LESLIE.
NO, NO. I BELIEVE YOUR COUSIN
WAS THE "LESLIE."
56
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:40,233
UH, COME ON, OZ,
I BET EVEN YOU HAD IT
57
00:04:40,233 --> 00:04:43,067
A LITTLE ROUGH IN HIGH SCHOOL.
HA! NO.
I RULED THE PLACE.
58
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:45,800
ONE DAY, ME AND MY BUDDY--
WE DITCHED CLASS,
59
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,800
STOLE HIS DAD'S FERRARI,
I GOT TO SING IN A PARADE,
60
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,800
PRETENDED TO BE THE SAUSAGE KING
OF CHICAGO. IT WAS GREAT.
61
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:55,267
I THINK MY BUDDY JOHN MADE
A MOVIE ABOUT IT OR SOMETHING.
YOU MEAN "FERRIS BUELLER"?
62
00:04:55,267 --> 00:04:56,800
NEVER HEARD OF HIM.
(slaps back)
63
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,433
HEY... THERE.
64
00:04:58,433 --> 00:05:00,433
I AM LOOKING FOR CAMERON PRICE.
65
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,833
AND ALSO,
IF YOU HAVE ANY EXTRA TISSUES,
66
00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:05,967
I HAVE A RAGING NOSEBLEED.
AND, UH, OH, IT STOPPED.
67
00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:07,933
UM, I'M LESLIE.
68
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,400
UH, RIGHT THIS WAY.
69
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,867
HEY, YOU GO TO MEMORIAL?
THAT'S WHERE I WENT.
70
00:05:12,867 --> 00:05:16,467
GO, WILDCATS! CLAWS UP.
(hisses)
71
00:05:16,467 --> 00:05:19,667
LISTEN, SOMEBODY AT MY SCHOOL IS
MAKING MY LIFE A LIVING HELL.
(bag thuds)
72
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:23,133
(types on keyboard)
OKAY? I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
JUST LOOK.
73
00:05:23,133 --> 00:05:25,833
YOU CRAPPED YOUR PANTS?
74
00:05:25,833 --> 00:05:27,833
NO, I DIDN'T CRAP MY PANTS.
75
00:05:27,833 --> 00:05:31,733
I MEAN, I HAVE, BUT I DIDN'T--
I WOULD NEVER ADMIT IT TO--AAH!
76
00:05:31,733 --> 00:05:33,733
IT'S A FAKE PAGE.
IT'S FAKE.
77
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:36,933
OKAY, THIS PERSON IS POSING
AS ME AND SENDING MESSAGES
78
00:05:36,933 --> 00:05:39,567
TO THIS GIRL I'VE BEEN IN LOVE
WITH SINCE FIFTH GRADE.
79
00:05:39,567 --> 00:05:41,467
LOOK.
(types on keyboard)
80
00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:44,100
EVERYBODY KNOWS
THAT I LOVE MEGAN DIAMOND NOW,
81
00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:47,567
AND I'M A LAUGHINGSTOCK.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW I FEEL?
82
00:05:47,567 --> 00:05:49,400
YEAH. YEAH, I KINDA DO.
83
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:53,100
COME ON. LET'S TRACK DOWN
THIS CYBER DICK.
YOU CAN DO THAT?
84
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:56,133
HELL, YEAH. A NIGERIAN SCAMMER
STOLE 10 GRAND FROM MY GRANDMA,
85
00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:58,200
BUT I TOOK CARE OF HIM.
86
00:06:02,033 --> 00:06:04,000
I DESERVE THIS.
87
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,500
(beep)
BUSTED.
88
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:10,000
AND THERE'S YOUR CYBERBULLY.
DOES KIP O'BANNON RING A BELL?
OH, NO.
89
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,900
WHAT?
UH, OKAY, THAT'S
MEGAN DIAMOND'S EX-BOYFRIEND.
90
00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:15,900
WELL, JUST TURN HIM IN.
LOOK, DUDE, HE'S CRAZY, OKAY?
91
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:18,400
HE ONCE CUT A KID'S HAIR OFF
AND ATE IT,
92
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,633
JUST TO PROVE A POINT.
I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE.
93
00:06:20,633 --> 00:06:24,367
I'LL JUST TELL MY PARENTS
YOU COULDN'T FIND HIM.
NO, NO. I DON'T FEEL
COMFORTABLE WITH THAT.
94
00:06:24,367 --> 00:06:26,367
WELL, I DO. I GOTTA GO.
95
00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:28,367
HEY, GUYS, A LITTLE DETOUR.
96
00:06:28,367 --> 00:06:30,300
I NEED SOME HELP
WITH MY ASSIGNMENT.
YOU GOT IT. WHAT'S UP?
97
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:35,067
WE'RE GOING BACK
TO HIGH SCHOOL.
WHOO-HOO!
98
00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:37,067
YEAH!
99
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,667
THIS IS LESLIE KACZANDER,
VICTIM OF CYBERBULLYING.
100
00:06:42,667 --> 00:06:45,900
3.7 G.P.A., YEARBOOK EDITOR,
MODEL U.N. TREASURER,
101
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:48,000
AND PLAYS XYLOPHONE
IN THE SCHOOL BAND.
102
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,833
XYLOPHONE? EVEN THE LETTER "Z"
IS EMBARRASSED
103
00:06:50,833 --> 00:06:52,933
TO BE NEAR
THAT NERD-STRUMENT.
104
00:06:52,933 --> 00:06:55,500
NOT HELPING, DUTCH.
THIS IS KIP O'BANNON,
105
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:58,600
OUR CYBERBULLY AND SENIOR,
FOR THE SECOND TIME.
106
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,667
HEY, I'LL HELP AN UNDERDOG.
IT MAY BE A SURPRISE TO YOU,
107
00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:04,933
BUT I WAS PICKED ON IN HIGH
SCHOOL, AND Y'ALL KNOW WHY--
108
00:07:04,933 --> 00:07:08,133
'CAUSE I'M BLACK.
SWEETIE, I REALLY DON'T THINK
THAT WAS THE REASON.
109
00:07:08,133 --> 00:07:11,633
BYE, MOM! FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.
NINTH GRADE, A FRESH START.
110
00:07:11,633 --> 00:07:13,633
HIGH SCHOOL'S GONNA BE AWESOME.
111
00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:16,700
DAMN IT, I'M SUCH A NERD. WHY
COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN RACISM?
112
00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:19,600
CASH IS RIGHT. HIGH SCHOOL
IS JUST A 4-YEAR NIGHTMARE
113
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,000
WHERE ALL THE "NORMAL" KIDS TRY
TO CRUSH YOUR INDIVIDUALITY.
114
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,833
(The Cure's "Boys Don't Cry"
playing)
NORMALS.
THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND US.
115
00:07:26,833 --> 00:07:28,333
ENJOY YOUR GILDED CAGES.
116
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,333
(man over P.A.) JOSH ARMSTRONG,
117
00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:32,667
PLEASE REPORT TO THE MUSIC
ROOM. YOU LEFT YOUR TUBA.
118
00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:35,000
(scoffs) TUBE OF... MASCARA.
119
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,333
I GOTTA GO.
120
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:40,967
YOU WERE A GOTH KID?
DON'T LABEL ME, BUT YEAH.
121
00:07:40,967 --> 00:07:43,967
GUYS, I'M EXCITED TO FINALLY
GET A TASTE OF HIGH SCHOOL,
122
00:07:43,967 --> 00:07:47,233
ALL RIGHT? MY DAD WAS A GRIFTER.
I NEVER WENT.
I WISH I HAD NEVER WENT.
123
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:50,500
ALL THOSE PURPLE NIRPLES.
I'M STILL MISSING HALF A NIP.
124
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,700
YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY.
HIGH SCHOOL WAS EPIC!
125
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:55,167
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN
SOME OF THE PRANKS I PULLED--
126
00:07:55,167 --> 00:07:57,867
LEMON SWIRLY, SUBATOMIC WEDGIE,
127
00:07:57,867 --> 00:08:00,500
MY PERSONAL FAVE--
THE BLAZING SADDLE.
128
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:03,433
ALL YOU NEED IS A LIGHTER
AND A BUTT CHEEK FOR THAT ONE.
129
00:08:03,433 --> 00:08:07,200
GOOD TIMES.
OH, MY GOD. BABE, DID YOU
REALLY DO THOSE THINGS?
130
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,967
YEAH, SOUNDS LIKE
YOU WERE THE BULLY.
131
00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:11,967
NO, NO, NO.
THOSE MATHLETES WERE MY BOYS.
132
00:08:11,967 --> 00:08:14,333
I'D MAKE 'EM LAUGH SO HARD,
THEY'D CRY.
133
00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:17,033
DEEP, HEAVING SOBS OF LAUGHTER,
134
00:08:17,033 --> 00:08:19,767
JUST BEGGING ME
TO STOP BEING SO DAMN FUNNY.
135
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:22,300
I'M GONNA GO CRANK CALL
THOSE MATHLETES NOW.
136
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,333
(Cash) OKAY, CAM, I GOT EYES
ON YOU FROM THE VAN.
137
00:08:24,333 --> 00:08:27,600
LET'S TAKE DOWN OUR BULLY.
I'VE GOT VIS CON ON O'BANNON.
138
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,500
ALL RIGHT, FIRE UP THE SPY CAM.
I'LL TELL YOU WHEN WE GOT HIM.
139
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:31,567
(beep, whirring)
140
00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:33,667
(laughter)
141
00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:36,667
WHOO! O'BANNON RULES!
142
00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:38,833
WHOO!
(camera shutter clicks)
143
00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:41,433
THAT'S THE ONE.
RENDEZVOUS IN FIVE.
144
00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,500
CAMERON?
145
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:44,833
CAMERON PRICE?
146
00:08:44,833 --> 00:08:48,133
IT'S ME, PATTY BOGGS,
FROM HIGH SCHOOL.
147
00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:50,133
PATTY BOGGS? NO, NO, NO.
148
00:08:50,133 --> 00:08:51,933
UM, NO, SHE WAS...
149
00:08:51,933 --> 00:08:55,467
FATTY HOGGS.
YEAH, STILL ME.
150
00:08:55,467 --> 00:08:57,400
PATTY! YES! YOU LOOK GREAT!
151
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:58,933
AW.
152
00:08:58,933 --> 00:09:01,900
YEAH. WOW. DID YOU DO
SOMETHING WITH YOUR HAIR?
153
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:04,700
WELL, I LOST 150 POUNDS.
154
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:06,900
BUT YOUR HAIR IS... LONGER
155
00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:10,200
OH.
AND, UH, YOU'VE LOST
THE ACCORDION.
156
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,200
YEAH. NO, I STILL DABBLE,
THOUGH.
157
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,667
BUT, UH, YOU LOST YOUR ACNE
AND YOUR CATCHPHRASES.
UH...
158
00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:19,533
(Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady"
playing)
WASSUP?!
159
00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:22,533
...SSUP?! (laughs)
NEVER GETS OLD.
160
00:09:22,533 --> 00:09:25,467
LITTLE BIT OLD.
UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
161
00:09:25,467 --> 00:09:27,467
I TEACH A.P. CHEMISTRY.
OH, OKAY.
162
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,900
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
UM, I WORK
FOR CONTRA SECURITY.
163
00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:32,900
YEAH, PRINCIPAL GRIECO
HIRED US TO INSTALL
164
00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:35,200
SOME WEB FILTERING SOFTWARE...
OH.
165
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,533
BLABBITY BLAH COMPUTER STUFF.
WOW.
166
00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:40,533
YEAH, IT'S JUST AN EXCUSE
FOR ME TO COME BACK HERE
167
00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:42,533
AND RELIVE MY GLORY DAYS.
168
00:09:42,533 --> 00:09:45,900
GO, WILDCATS. CLAWS UP!
(growls) BAD TIMES.
169
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,133
THE WORST.
YOU KNOW, UM, ACTUALLY,
170
00:09:48,133 --> 00:09:50,633
YOU WERE THE ONE PERSON
BACK THEN WHO DIDN'T TEASE ME,
171
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:53,567
AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT HOW NICE
IT WOULD BE TO SEE YOU AGAIN
172
00:09:53,567 --> 00:09:55,667
AND TO TELL YOU
THANK YOU SO MUCH
173
00:09:55,667 --> 00:10:00,033
FOR BEING A SWEETIE TO ME.
YEAH. NO, YOU'RE--
YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.
174
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:02,467
IT WAS GOOD TO SEE YOU.
175
00:10:02,467 --> 00:10:04,033
YOU, TOO.
176
00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:07,033
NEXT TIME, YOU'RE GONNA
NEED A HALL PASS, MISTER.
177
00:10:07,033 --> 00:10:08,667
(chuckles)
(under breath) STUPID.
178
00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:11,233
NO, IT'S--IT WAS--BYE.
179
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,367
(door closes)
YOU GOT ANYTHING YET?
180
00:10:15,367 --> 00:10:17,467
A WORK OF ART.
CHECK IT OUT.
181
00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:19,733
YOU JUST MADE THE WRONG ENEMY,
O'BANNON.
182
00:10:19,733 --> 00:10:22,167
WELCOME TO CONTRA SECURITY.
183
00:10:22,167 --> 00:10:23,833
(laughter)
184
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,400
THAT'S NOT ME!
185
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,700
I MEAN, IT'S ME,
BUT I DON'T HEART BIEBER!
186
00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:32,233
I DON'T HEART ANYONE!
187
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:37,100
NOW THAT'S HOW
YOU REVENGE A NERD.
188
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,833
OH. MAN, I WISH I HAD ME
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
189
00:10:39,833 --> 00:10:42,633
BOYS, TIME TO STEP
INTO DETENTION.
190
00:10:42,633 --> 00:10:46,400
WHAT'S HE DOING
WITH THAT TUSHIE PADDLE?
HELPING LESLIE WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE DONE
191
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:50,433
QUICK AND SOLO, LIKE YOUR
DATE NIGHTS. WHAT HAPPENED?
I NEEDED A LITTLE HELP
WITH OUR CYBERBULLY,
192
00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:52,467
BUT WE CRUSHED IT.
CRUSHED IT.
193
00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:54,900
NO, PUMPKIN, YOU POKED
THE NEST, STIRRED THE HIVE,
194
00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:57,700
ANGERED THE BEES, AND POOR
LITTLE LESLIE GOT STUNG.
195
00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:00,267
O'BANNON FOUND OUT
ABOUT WHAT YOU DID.
196
00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:03,067
NOW HE'S GONE FROM CYBERBULLY
TO BULLY BULLY.
197
00:11:03,067 --> 00:11:05,033
HEY, GUYS.
198
00:11:05,033 --> 00:11:07,167
THANKS FOR RUINING MY LIFE.
199
00:11:12,233 --> 00:11:14,733
THE SHORTS DON'T LIE.
HE LOOKS LIKE A SLUT.
200
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,000
I CAN'T BELIEVE O'BANNON
FOUND OUT WE BIEBERED HIM.
201
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,867
WELL, HE DID, AND THEN HE THREW
ME INTO THE GIRLS' SHOWER...
(Melanie) OH.
202
00:11:22,867 --> 00:11:24,167
BUTT-NAKED.
203
00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:27,333
AH, THE OLD STRIP AND SOAK.
(laughs) GOOD STUFF.
204
00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:31,933
BABE, COME ON. SERIOUSLY?
WHAT? NO, IT'S FUNNY.
ASK THIS DUDE.
205
00:11:31,933 --> 00:11:34,067
YEAH, LOOK AT HIM.
HE'S DYING WITH LAUGHTER.
206
00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:37,467
(Dutch) WAIT A SECOND.
YOU'RE NOT HAPPY AT ALL.
207
00:11:37,467 --> 00:11:40,167
MY GOD, MAYBE I WAS A BULLY
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
208
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:42,500
LARRY HERE'S MADE ME REALIZE
THAT JUST 'CAUSE SOMETHING'S
209
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:44,533
HILARIOUS
DOESN'T MEAN IT'S RIGHT.
210
00:11:44,533 --> 00:11:47,933
UM, MY NAME'S
ACTUALLY LESLIE.
211
00:11:47,933 --> 00:11:49,533
LESLIE?
212
00:11:49,533 --> 00:11:53,167
(laughs) WHAT KIND
OF FRUITY NAME IS...
213
00:11:53,167 --> 00:11:54,833
NO.
214
00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:56,800
NEW LEAF, DUTCH.
215
00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:00,167
HEY. WE'RE GONNA HELP YOU
FIGHT THIS BULLY, PAL.
OKAY.
216
00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:01,967
OOH. OKAY.
217
00:12:01,967 --> 00:12:04,867
OKAY, I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE
WITH LESLIE'S PARENTS,
218
00:12:04,867 --> 00:12:07,733
OFFERED MY SERVICES
FREE OF CHARGE AND A SNUGGIE,
219
00:12:07,733 --> 00:12:10,800
'CAUSE YOU MEDDLING MONKEYS
DECIDED TO THROW YOUR POOP
220
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,433
ALL OVER THIS POOR KID'S LIFE.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
DON'T BOTHER.
221
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:16,433
MY LIFE'S ALREADY
A BIG BOWL OF SUCK, SO...
CHIN UP, CHACHI.
222
00:12:16,433 --> 00:12:19,433
BY THE TIME I'M DONE WITH YOU,
YOU'RE GONNA RULE THAT SCHOOL.
223
00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:23,500
I'M TAKING YOU
FROM SAD BOY TO BAD BOY.
OH, YES! MOVIE MAKEOVER.
DUDE, THAT'S MY FAVORITE.
224
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,133
(Oz) MEET
MY MASTER OF DISGUISE JOSH.
225
00:12:25,133 --> 00:12:28,867
WE HAVE HIPSTER CHIC,
SKATER PUNK, NEW SCHOOL PREP...
226
00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:30,467
STEP ONE--STYLE.
227
00:12:30,467 --> 00:12:33,100
LESLIE 2.0.
228
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,133
* TA-DA *
229
00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:37,633
STEP TWO--WHEELS.
230
00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:40,633
WHAT HAPPENED
TO MY MOM'S STATION WAGON?
OH, IT'S IN THERE.
231
00:12:40,633 --> 00:12:43,233
JUST SWAPPED IN A NEW FRAME,
ENGINE, TIRES, AND STEREO.
232
00:12:43,233 --> 00:12:45,233
YOU JUST GOT DUTCHED, SON.
233
00:12:45,233 --> 00:12:48,000
OH, MY GOD! YES!
234
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,967
STEP THREE--INTIMIDATION.
235
00:12:49,967 --> 00:12:52,933
YOU MUST POSSESS
A MENACING GLARE. SHOW US.
236
00:12:52,933 --> 00:12:55,133
(groaning)
237
00:12:55,133 --> 00:12:57,167
THAT'S NOT MENACING.
YOU LOOK CONSTIPATED.
238
00:12:57,167 --> 00:13:00,767
STEP FOUR--SELF-DEFENSE.
ONE, TWO. ALL RIGHT.
ONE, TWO. ALL RIGHT.
239
00:13:00,767 --> 00:13:02,933
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
(shouts indistinctly)
240
00:13:02,933 --> 00:13:06,933
I COULDN'T BEAT YOU IN NINTENDO,
BUT I CAN BEAT YOU NOW, MIKE.
HEY, DON'T GET COCKY, KID.
241
00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:08,833
OKAY, I'M SORRY.
242
00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:10,633
STEP FIVE--BADASS-EDNESS.
243
00:13:10,633 --> 00:13:12,767
(Spank's "2 Gangsta 4 TV"
playing)
244
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:15,433
* WE'RE TOO GANGSTA FOR TV,
THAT'S RIGHT *
245
00:13:15,433 --> 00:13:18,200
* YOU DON'T SEE US
BUT THEY STILL WANNA BE US *
246
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,433
STEP SIX--ASSEMBLE YOUR TEAM.
247
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:23,233
* HA HA! ONLY THE STRONG
SURVIVE, THE WEAK PERISH *
248
00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:25,733
* WE GOT A GANG INJUNCTION, NOW
THEY CALLING US TERRORISTS? *
249
00:13:25,733 --> 00:13:28,133
* MONEY IN THE GHETTO,
GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT *
250
00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:30,133
* BANKS STACKED UP
JUST LIKE FORT KNOX *
251
00:13:30,133 --> 00:13:31,600
* WE'RE TOO GANGSTA FOR TV *
252
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,167
OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. OH, MY
GOD. EVERYBODY'S LOOKING AT ME.
253
00:13:33,167 --> 00:13:35,567
WHAT DO I DO?
ACT LIKE YOU'VE BEEN THERE,
BUDDY.
254
00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:37,867
SENIORS RULE!
255
00:13:37,867 --> 00:13:40,167
DUTCH, YOU ARE
SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE VAN!
256
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:43,167
HEY, I MIGHT BE A YEAR OR TEN
OLDER THAN YOU GUYS,
257
00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:45,167
BUT I COULD
TOTALLY PULL OFF 17.
258
00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:47,167
HEY, SWEET KICKS, AMIGO!
EAT MY BUTT, NARC!
259
00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:51,167
DAMN IT. I JUST BOUGHT
THIS TRAPPER KEEPER!
260
00:13:51,167 --> 00:13:53,400
THIS IS COOL.
THIS IS WHAT WE USED TO DO.
261
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,400
A LITTLE THING CALLED
CRAZY LEGS.
262
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,100
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?
BAM! OOH!
263
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:59,500
I AM...
(high-pitched voice) AWESOME!
264
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:01,567
(boy) EAT THAT, GRANDPA.
(normal voice) HELP?
265
00:14:01,567 --> 00:14:04,067
HELP ME UP. YOU KNOW,
I THINK I HURT MY BACK.
266
00:14:04,067 --> 00:14:06,800
ALL RIGHT, KIDDIES, NEXT STEP--
WE'RE GONNA PIMP THIS KID'S REP.
267
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,800
HIT YOUR CLIQUES
AND SPREAD THE WORD--
268
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,800
LESLIE KACZANDER IS A BADASS.
269
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,233
LESLIE KACZANDER TRAINS
WITH MIKE TYSON?
(Leslie grunts)
270
00:14:14,633 --> 00:14:17,467
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
DIDN'T YOU HEAR?
271
00:14:17,467 --> 00:14:21,100
HIM AND MIKE TYSON
ARE B.F.F. BESTIES.
(girls) DORK.
272
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,033
(Megan) GUYS.
WELL, I'D RATHER BE A DORK
THAN HAVE SPLIT ENDS,
273
00:14:23,033 --> 00:14:26,833
SNAGGLETOOTH, UNIBROW,
AND A JANKY SPRAY TAN.
274
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,900
YOU ARE A BITCH.
275
00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:31,233
LOVE IT. YOU WANNA HANG?
276
00:14:31,233 --> 00:14:33,800
WOW. HIGH SCHOOL'S EASY.
277
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,633
OUR MOST IMPORTANT STEP
OF OZ-IFICATION IS LAST--
278
00:14:36,633 --> 00:14:37,633
Intrigue.
279
00:14:37,633 --> 00:14:40,267
(grunts)
OH! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
280
00:14:40,267 --> 00:14:42,633
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO
TO PROM WITH ME!
281
00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:45,900
(voice breaking)
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS!
282
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,567
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
"Baby...
283
00:14:48,567 --> 00:14:50,600
WE JUST GREW APART." SAY IT.
284
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:51,933
Go, Leslie.
285
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,933
(stilted voice) UH, BABY,
WE JUST GREW APART?
286
00:14:54,933 --> 00:14:57,467
I GAVE YOU MY SPECIAL GIFT.
287
00:14:57,467 --> 00:14:59,500
WHAT SPECIAL GIFT?
Focus, Leslie.
288
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:02,833
She's talking about making sexy.
OH!
289
00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:04,167
RIGHT.
290
00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:07,200
Apologize like a gentleman.
SORRY.
291
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:10,533
Okay, let's bag our moose.
Do exactly what I do.
292
00:15:10,533 --> 00:15:12,867
SAY EVERYTHING THAT I SAY.
293
00:15:12,867 --> 00:15:14,533
Chick's on your six.
294
00:15:14,533 --> 00:15:17,467
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU JUST SAID. OH, HELLO.
295
00:15:17,467 --> 00:15:19,233
HI.
296
00:15:19,233 --> 00:15:22,000
UM, I DON'T KNOW IF WE'VE EVER
ACTUALLY TALKED BEFORE.
297
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,133
I'M MEGAN.
I'M... L-DAWG.
298
00:15:24,133 --> 00:15:27,967
DON'T IMPROVISE, LESLIE.
(scoffs) I'M JUST KIDDING.
299
00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:29,467
I'M LESLIE.
300
00:15:29,467 --> 00:15:32,500
LESLIE.
OZ, IT'S WORKING.
IT'S ACTUALLY WORKING.
301
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:36,300
CAMERON? IS THAT YOU?
302
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:39,400
PATTY! HI... AGAIN.
HOW YOU DOING?
303
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,400
WELL, UM, WELL, I WAS GOOD
304
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,400
UNTIL THE GUY I HAD
A CRUSH ON IN HIGH SCHOOL
305
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,000
STARTED ROAMING AROUND
THE HALLWAYS
306
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:49,933
IN GUYLINER AND SKINNY JEANS.
OKAY, THE TRUTH IS, OUR COMPANY
WAS HIRED BY LESLIE'S PARENTS
307
00:15:49,933 --> 00:15:52,967
TO FIND HIS CYBERBULLY AND--
WH--YOU HAD A CRUSH ON ME?
308
00:15:52,967 --> 00:15:54,967
WHAT, YOU DIDN'T NOTICE
MY AWESOME FLIRTING TECHNIQUES
309
00:15:54,967 --> 00:15:58,333
OF NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU
AND ALWAYS LOOKING THE OTHER WAY
310
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:01,533
WHEN YOU WALKED IN THE ROOM?
FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I DIDN'T
NOTICE MUCH BACK THEN.
311
00:16:01,533 --> 00:16:04,167
(modem whirring)
21 MINUTES AND YOU'RE MINE.
312
00:16:04,167 --> 00:16:06,767
(modem beeping)
MOM! HANG UP THE PHONE!
313
00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:09,900
I'M DOWNLOADING... HOMEWORK!
314
00:16:11,967 --> 00:16:14,967
MAN, I WISH
I KNEW YOU LIKED ME.
315
00:16:14,967 --> 00:16:17,400
HIGH SCHOOL WOULD HAVE
SUCKED A LOT LESS.
316
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,033
WELL--WELL, YOU'RE MAKING IT
BETTER FOR LESLIE, SO...
317
00:16:20,033 --> 00:16:22,367
YEAH. ACTUALLY,
THE LITTLE DUDE'S ON HIS WAY
318
00:16:22,367 --> 00:16:25,800
TO FINDING HIMSELF
A PROM DATE.
WELL, IF YOU WANT TO SEE
HOW IT ALL TURNS OUT,
319
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,800
YOU COULD--YOU COULD JOIN ME.
320
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,767
I'M... CHAPERONING.
321
00:16:30,767 --> 00:16:33,433
PATTY BOGGS, ARE YOU ASKING ME
TO THE PROM?
322
00:16:33,433 --> 00:16:36,567
SEE YOU THERE?
IT'S A DATE.
323
00:16:36,567 --> 00:16:38,767
GREAT. (laughs)
(laughs)
324
00:16:38,767 --> 00:16:40,200
YEAH.
325
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,300
WOW.
326
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:43,300
I USED TO BE FAT.
327
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:44,867
WHAT? YEAH.
328
00:16:44,867 --> 00:16:47,067
OKAY, BYE.
BYE.
329
00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:50,367
DUDE, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA
BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED.
330
00:16:50,367 --> 00:16:52,967
MEGAN DIAMOND SAID YES!
I HAVE A DATE TO PROM!
331
00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:55,567
ME, TOO!
HEY, ACT LIKE YOU BEEN THERE.
332
00:16:55,567 --> 00:16:58,900
(Cash) LOOKING FINE, MY MAN!
333
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:01,967
I BET IT FEELS NICE
TO GO TO THE PROM
334
00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:05,833
WITHOUT
YOUR LADY-LOVING COUSIN.
IT REALLY DOES. I GOTTA SAY,
THINGS ARE LOOKING UP.
335
00:17:05,833 --> 00:17:07,533
WHAT THE HELL, MAN?
336
00:17:07,533 --> 00:17:09,600
ANYTHING YOU WANNA TELL ME?
337
00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:12,967
ANYTHING ABOUT YOU, MEL,
338
00:17:12,967 --> 00:17:15,367
AND A LITTLE BABY GIRL
NAMED TOBY?
339
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:18,767
IT'S THE TALK OF THE OFFICE!
I HEARD CAMERON'S IN LOVE
WITH MELANIE.
340
00:17:18,767 --> 00:17:21,633
MM-HMM. I HEARD
THAT THEY HAVE A LOVE CHILD.
341
00:17:21,633 --> 00:17:23,167
HIS NAME IS TOBY.
342
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,500
TOBY'S A BOY'S NAME.
I MEAN, THERE IS NO TOBY.
343
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,600
GOD, IT'S LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
AROUND HERE.
344
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:32,433
IT'S JUST A STUPID RUMOR.
I SAW THE VIDEO.
YOU CALLED ME A DOUCHE.
345
00:17:32,433 --> 00:17:36,700
HE'S SUCH A DOUCHE.
CASH,
WHAT ABOUT ME IS DOUCHE-Y?
346
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,600
YOU KNOW WHAT?
347
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:46,367
THE OLD DUTCH WOULD'VE POUNDED
YOUR ASS LIKE A SHOT OF JAGER,
348
00:17:46,367 --> 00:17:49,967
BUT THE NEW DUTCH IS USING
HIS WORDS INSTEAD OF HIS FISTS.
349
00:17:49,967 --> 00:17:53,000
MEL, DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
THE STUFF HE SAID TO YOU?
YEAH, I WAS THERE. BIGGER FISH.
350
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,000
I JUST HEARD FROM BRITNEY
WHO GOT A TEXT FROM TIFFANY
351
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,000
THAT O'BANNON'S
GONNA DESTROY LESLIE
352
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,867
FOR TAKING MEGAN TO THE PROM.
DAMN IT.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
353
00:18:01,867 --> 00:18:05,700
THAT SEEMS SIMPLE TO ME.
WE'RE GOING BACK TO PROM.
354
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:08,700
ARE YOU ALREADY DRESSED
FOR PROM?
NO, I WAS ON MY WAY
TO MONTE CARLO,
355
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:11,367
BUT I'M SURE THIS WILL BE
JUST AS MUCH FUN.
356
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:17,000
ALL RIGHT, LADIES, GATHER
'ROUND. HERE'S THE SITCH--
357
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,433
CAMERON HACKED O'BANNON'S PHONE.
TURNS OUT BULLY BOY RIGGED IT
358
00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,433
SO LESLIE WILL BE VOTED
PROM KING.
359
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:24,500
BUT WHEN HE'S UP ONSTAGE GETTING
CROWNED, INSTEAD OF CONFETTI
360
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:28,633
RAINING DOWN ON HIM, IT'S GOING
TO BE A BUCKET OF WHIZ.
OH, WE USED TO CALL THAT
THE PROM KING PEE DROP!
361
00:18:28,633 --> 00:18:32,267
ALSO WORKS AT HOMECOMING.
THIS IS SERIOUS, GUYS.
362
00:18:32,267 --> 00:18:34,633
SO HERE'S THE GAME PLAN--
MEL AND DUTCH,
363
00:18:34,633 --> 00:18:37,300
YOU'RE GONNA STUFF
THE BALLOT BOX WITH VOTES
364
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:39,000
FOR OUR BELOVED O'BANNON.
365
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,067
***
366
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:44,500
NEXT, JOSH WILL NEUTRALIZE
THE DEEJAY.
367
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:45,500
(imitates French accent)
AH, MONSIEUR,
368
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,900
WOULD YOU CARE
FOR A PROM SHRIMP?
369
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,567
HOW MUCH HORSE TRANQ
DID YOU PUT IN THERE?
370
00:18:52,567 --> 00:18:56,467
I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GONNA
EAT THE BIGGEST SHRIMP.
LET'S CROWN OUR PROM KING.
371
00:18:56,467 --> 00:18:59,233
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?
372
00:18:59,233 --> 00:19:03,233
THIS YEAR'S PROM KING IS...
373
00:19:03,233 --> 00:19:05,033
KIP O'BANNON!
374
00:19:05,033 --> 00:19:09,667
(heart beating rapidly)
375
00:19:09,667 --> 00:19:12,600
THIS IS A MISTAKE.
YOU CAN'T MAKE ME PROM KING!
376
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,733
THAT CANNON'S LOADED
WITH THREE WEEKS OF MY PEE!
377
00:19:15,733 --> 00:19:20,067
(cheers and whistles)
378
00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:22,567
KIP DOESN'T KNOW
THAT WE SWAPPED OUT HIS PEE
379
00:19:22,567 --> 00:19:25,233
FOR A LITTLE SOMETHING ELSE.
(cannon whooshes)
380
00:19:25,233 --> 00:19:27,433
(cheering)
381
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:34,267
HE ALSO DOESN'T KNOW THAT HIS
MOM IS MISSING HER CELL PHONE.
382
00:19:34,267 --> 00:19:36,400
THANKS FOR BRINGING
MY LUNCH, MOM.
383
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,333
NOW GET OUT OF HERE.
PEOPLE ARE WATCHING.
384
00:19:39,333 --> 00:19:42,233
OOH. EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.
385
00:19:42,233 --> 00:19:43,967
SUCKA!
386
00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:48,333
AND NOW FOR THE PROM QUEEN...
387
00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:51,367
(microphone feedback hisses)
MOM, IT'S KIP.
388
00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:54,900
I-I HAD AN ACCIDENT, AND I NEED
YOU TO COME HOME RIGHT NOW.
389
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:57,167
MY THUMB GOT CAUGHT
IN THE JACUZZI JET AND...
390
00:19:57,167 --> 00:20:00,000
OKAY, IT'S NOT MY THUMB.
IT'S MY WIENER.
391
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,000
HURRY, MOMMY. IT'S MY WIENER!
392
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,667
(laughter)
393
00:20:04,667 --> 00:20:06,567
(voice Auto-Tuned)
* IT'S MY WIENER, MOMMY *
394
00:20:06,567 --> 00:20:09,467
* IT'S MY WIENER *
395
00:20:09,467 --> 00:20:11,900
NOW THAT'S HOW YOU REVENGE
A NERD.
396
00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:13,833
HEY, CAM.
397
00:20:13,833 --> 00:20:16,867
AS PART
OF MY NERD FORGIVENESS PROGRAM,
398
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:19,433
I'M READY TO FORGET
ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID.
399
00:20:19,433 --> 00:20:21,933
NO, I REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE
SAID THOSE THINGS.
400
00:20:21,933 --> 00:20:23,300
I'M SORRY, DUTCH.
401
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:27,700
SO YOU--YOU DON'T THINK
I'M A TOTAL DOUCHE NOZZLE?
402
00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:29,700
NO.
403
00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:31,233
PARTIAL.
404
00:20:31,233 --> 00:20:32,967
THANKS, MAN.
405
00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:34,667
***
406
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,667
YOU FEEL MY JUNK?
YES.
407
00:20:38,233 --> 00:20:39,533
AWESOME.
408
00:20:39,533 --> 00:20:41,567
(chuckles)
409
00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:43,833
HEY.
410
00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:46,533
THERE'S AN AFTER-PARTY
AT TEEGAN'S. YOU IN?
411
00:20:46,533 --> 00:20:49,000
YOU KNOW, IF YOU HAD GONE
TO HIGH SCHOOL,
412
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,500
YOU WOULD'VE RULED THE PLACE.
YOU KNOW, I'M JUST--I'M GLAD
I FINALLY GOT A TASTE.
413
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,833
I'M GLAD I'M NOT HERE
WITH MY LESBIAN COUSIN
414
00:20:54,833 --> 00:20:58,700
WHO MADE OUT
WITH MY GYM TEACHER. SO, UH...
415
00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:03,000
I SHOULD REALLY
GET OVER TO MY DATE.
YES. A-ABSOLUTELY. GO.
416
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:07,233
IT'S--IT'S YOUR PROM.
417
00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:09,367
SWEET BACK BRACE, BROTHER!
418
00:21:09,367 --> 00:21:11,967
'SUP, GINGER. MAKING IT WORK!
419
00:21:11,967 --> 00:21:14,467
HEY, PIRATE TEETH,
I WANNA GET TO KNOW YOU!
420
00:21:14,467 --> 00:21:15,867
SO...
421
00:21:15,867 --> 00:21:19,967
WHAT EXACTLY ARE
YOUR CHAPERONE DUTIES?
422
00:21:19,967 --> 00:21:22,967
OH, YOU KNOW, JUST THE USUAL.
I-I JUST HAVE TO MAKE SURE
423
00:21:22,967 --> 00:21:25,033
THE KIDS DON'T DO
ANYTHING OFF-LIMITS.
424
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:27,033
WOULD THIS BE OFF-LIMITS?
425
00:21:27,033 --> 00:21:29,367
***
426
00:21:29,367 --> 00:21:31,933
* I'M JUST A ROLLING STONE *
427
00:21:31,933 --> 00:21:35,567
* WEARING MY HEART
ON MY SLEEVE *
428
00:21:35,567 --> 00:21:37,033
WOW.
429
00:21:37,033 --> 00:21:39,800
* SO YOU THINK
THAT I'M A WINNER *
430
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,367
UM...
431
00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:43,800
I HAVE TO DO THE ROUNDS.
432
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,367
DON'T GO FAR, OKAY?
I WON'T.
433
00:21:46,367 --> 00:21:50,733
* BABY, 'CAUSE TONIGHT *
434
00:21:50,733 --> 00:21:54,200
* THERE IS ONLY YOU,
THERE IS ONLY ME *
435
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:58,200
* TOGETHER WE'RE A LIGHTHOUSE
IN THIS RAGING SEA *
436
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,367
* YOU'RE ALL THAT I GOT *
437
00:22:00,367 --> 00:22:02,433
* I'M ALL THAT YOU NEED *
438
00:22:02,433 --> 00:22:04,600
* TONIGHT IS GONNA BE *
439
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:08,367
* EVERYBODY VERSUS YOU AND ME *
440
00:22:08,367 --> 00:22:11,833
AH, PROM.
MAGICAL NIGHT.
441
00:22:11,833 --> 00:22:14,167
UH, YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T EAT
THOSE SHRIMP.
442
00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:17,167
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'M IMMUNE
TO ALL POISONS AND SEDATIVES.
443
00:22:17,167 --> 00:22:20,700
GUYS,
I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH.
444
00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:24,167
I MEAN, TONIGHT HAS BEEN
THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE.
445
00:22:24,167 --> 00:22:28,133
WELL, GREAT. I MEAN, IF YOU
NEED ANYTHING ELSE, WE--
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I THINK I'VE GOT IT FROM HERE.
446
00:22:28,133 --> 00:22:31,133
I MEAN, AT SOME POINT I GOTTA
FIGHT MY OWN BATTLES, RIGHT?
447
00:22:31,133 --> 00:22:33,667
AND YOU WERE JUST LIKE ME
IN HIGH SCHOOL,
448
00:22:33,667 --> 00:22:35,600
AND YOU TURNED OUT
PRETTY AWESOME.
449
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,933
GIVES A BROTHER HOPE.
450
00:22:37,933 --> 00:22:40,133
I GOTTA SAY,
HELPING LESLIE OUT
451
00:22:40,133 --> 00:22:42,233
HAS TURNED OUT
TO BE QUITE THE JOB.
452
00:22:42,233 --> 00:22:44,500
I MEAN, I'M BACK
AT MY OLD HIGH SCHOOL,
453
00:22:44,500 --> 00:22:47,333
I MET A GIRL I LIKE,
AND I'M FINALLY OVER MELANIE.
454
00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:49,700
YEAH,
PRETTY AMAZING COINKYDINK.
455
00:22:49,700 --> 00:22:52,800
APROPOS OF NOTHING,
I BELIEVE THIS IS YOURS.
456
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,433
WHAT? NO, I THREW THIS AWAY
YEARS AGO.
457
00:22:55,433 --> 00:22:58,433
HOW DID YOU GET THIS?
ADORABLE THAT YOU STILL ASK
THESE THINGS.
458
00:22:58,433 --> 00:23:00,500
* YOU'RE ALL THAT I GOT,
I'M ALL THAT YOU NEED *
459
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:04,167
OH, MY GOD.
YOU KNEW PATTY LIKED ME.
460
00:23:04,167 --> 00:23:06,867
THERE'S NO WAY YOU PLANNED
THIS WHOLE THING.
461
00:23:06,867 --> 00:23:09,600
YOUR LITTLE OFFICE CRUSH
IS CRUSHING THIS OFFICE.
462
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,367
YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.
463
00:23:11,367 --> 00:23:14,700
ENJOY THE EVENING. IT'S A GOOD
THING YOU GOT YOUR TUX ON.
464
00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:17,900
TOMORROW WE'RE GOING TO VEGAS.
WE GOT A CASINO TO ROB.
465
00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:20,500
* EVERYBODY VERSUS YOU AND ME *
466
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,500
* EVERYBODY
VERSUS YOU AND ME *
467
00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:24,500
* HEY, HEY, HEY *
* OH, OH *
468
00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:26,500
* EVERYBODY VERSUS YOU AND ME *
469
00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,567
* OH *
* OH, OH *
470
00:23:28,567 --> 00:23:29,700
* EH, OH *
* WHOO! *
37743
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