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1
00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:07,367
(orchestral fanfare playing)
2
00:00:23,433 --> 00:00:26,433
(cash imitating lasers firing)
3
00:00:30,067 --> 00:00:32,067
How long have you been
Shooting this?
4
00:00:32,067 --> 00:00:33,567
17 years, baby.
5
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,067
While my stupid classmates
6
00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:37,067
Were all building friendships
And self-esteem,
7
00:00:37,067 --> 00:00:38,900
I was building a death star
Out of popsicle sticks.
8
00:00:38,900 --> 00:00:41,567
Did you hear that? They've
Shut down the main reactors.
9
00:00:41,567 --> 00:00:43,967
(toilet flushing)
We'll be destroyed for--
10
00:00:43,967 --> 00:00:45,233
Dad!
11
00:00:45,233 --> 00:00:47,767
We'll be destroyed for sure.
This is madness!
12
00:00:47,767 --> 00:00:49,767
(high-pitched, singsong voice)
Spoiler alert!
13
00:00:49,767 --> 00:00:53,967
(normal voice)
I play all the characters.
Yahoo! You're all clear, kid.
14
00:00:53,967 --> 00:00:56,800
Now let's blow this thing
And go home!
15
00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,900
(growls)
(high-pitched, singsong voice)
Spoiler alert!
16
00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:03,467
(normal voice)
You die a virgin.
Oh, baby, I couldn't
Sleep a wink last night.
17
00:01:03,467 --> 00:01:05,633
It's either 'cause
Of that 9-hour energy drink,
18
00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:08,133
Or 'cause today I'm finally
Getting to meet your dad.
19
00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:10,300
Babe, he's gonna love you.
Trust me.
20
00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:13,600
I know, but I wanna make a good
Impression when he gets here,
21
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,867
So I decided
To wear underwear.
22
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:19,400
Yeah, this tiger
Does not like to be caged.
23
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,467
(telephone ringing)
24
00:01:21,467 --> 00:01:24,333
Cool. You're dad's coming
To visit?
Yeah. I know. It's been forever.
25
00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:26,333
Lucky.
My parents are all over me.
26
00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:29,333
"When are you gonna come visit?
Why don't you have a girlfriend?
27
00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:31,033
It's okay if you're...
You know."
28
00:01:31,033 --> 00:01:33,133
Well, uh, my dad's
Kinda sorta been in jail
29
00:01:33,133 --> 00:01:36,800
The last five years.
(both, singsongy)
Fun-comfortable.
30
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,800
No, guys, it's fine. I'm just
Really excited to have him back.
31
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,700
I mean, the guy taught me
Everything I know.
32
00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:45,700
("Jingle bells" playing)
My very own lock picking case!
33
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:48,700
The rest of your gifts are
Out there somewhere, sweetheart.
34
00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:50,700
Now go get 'em. (kisses)
35
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,700
Look at this report card.
36
00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:55,200
I can't believe you forged
My signature like this.
37
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,533
How many times
Have I told you?
38
00:01:57,533 --> 00:02:00,167
I loop my y's.
39
00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:03,333
Wow. Your childhood sounds
Really interesting.
40
00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:05,333
Me--I was just raised by
Couple of lesbian astronauts.
41
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:08,467
Bye, sweetie. Your mom and I
Are going back to space.
42
00:02:08,467 --> 00:02:10,567
Lame.
43
00:02:10,567 --> 00:02:14,100
Well, my dad's the best. He sent
Me one of these postcards
44
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,100
Every month
For the last five years,
45
00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:18,100
Telling me how proud
He was of me.
46
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:21,633
I'm gonna be just--
(whispers) silence, woman!
It's ana ng!
47
00:02:21,633 --> 00:02:24,367
Dang!
48
00:02:27,733 --> 00:02:31,533
***
49
00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:43,700
Hey. Oz is calling
A team meeting.
I love you.
50
00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:45,700
And I-I mean, I don't
Love you... Like that.
51
00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:48,533
I mean, I say that a lot
'cause I live with my mom.
52
00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:49,833
Damn it.
53
00:02:49,833 --> 00:02:51,867
(michael wandmacher's
"We got your back" playing)
54
00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:54,433
* we got your back *
55
00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:56,667
* 9:00 to 5:00's
Never been this vicious *
56
00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:58,567
* under attack *
57
00:02:58,567 --> 00:03:02,467
* and we're all up
In your business *
58
00:03:02,467 --> 00:03:06,033
* whoa, oh, oh, oh *
59
00:03:06,033 --> 00:03:08,000
* we got your back *
60
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,633
***
61
00:03:09,633 --> 00:03:12,467
What you are looking at
Is an exact scale replica
62
00:03:12,467 --> 00:03:14,667
Of the culver modern art museum.
63
00:03:14,667 --> 00:03:17,100
Check out the detail
On that--ow!
No touchy, dutchy.
64
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:19,900
This thing cost me 800 bucks.
65
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,900
I asked creepy carol
To mock it up for me,
66
00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:24,133
And apparently,
I "Didn't set a price limit."
67
00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:27,100
You never set a price limit.
I "Wasn't clear."
68
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,633
You weren't very clear.
69
00:03:28,633 --> 00:03:31,000
I'm "So scary
I make her tinkle."
70
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,200
Uh-oh.
71
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,500
I digress.
72
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:36,867
The museum has hired us
To test their security.
73
00:03:36,867 --> 00:03:39,400
And if we break in, we get paid
To revamp their system.
74
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,267
Cha-ching!
75
00:03:41,267 --> 00:03:43,667
So I've decided we are going to
Break in and steal this.
(beep)
76
00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:45,767
It's their most expensive
Piece of art.
77
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,800
Uh, I-I think
Your screen's broken.
78
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,667
No, no. It's not broken.
This is the piece.
(beep)
79
00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,667
It's called
"White on white on white,"
80
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,567
And it's worth $10 million.
81
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:57,467
$10 million?
What, for a blank canvas?
82
00:03:57,467 --> 00:04:00,567
I bet you if it was called
"Black on black on black."
83
00:04:00,567 --> 00:04:02,133
It'd be worthless.
84
00:04:02,133 --> 00:04:03,700
Social commentary.
85
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:06,567
That ain't art. No...
86
00:04:06,567 --> 00:04:09,033
This is art. Yep.
87
00:04:09,033 --> 00:04:11,433
It's a tattoo of tattoo.
88
00:04:11,433 --> 00:04:14,767
Huh? Think about that one.
Whose mind did I just blow?
89
00:04:14,767 --> 00:04:17,767
(singsongy) all y'alls!
(oz) clearly, you all lack
The sophistication
90
00:04:17,767 --> 00:04:20,433
To appreciate
The nuance of this piece.
91
00:04:20,433 --> 00:04:23,933
Everybody, just take a moment
And really look at it.
92
00:04:23,933 --> 00:04:25,600
I mean, lean in.
93
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,767
Allow the power of the paint
To--to wash over you.
94
00:04:29,767 --> 00:04:30,933
(shrieks)
95
00:04:30,933 --> 00:04:33,600
Ha ha! Art!
God! Every time!
96
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,633
All right, rule number 22--he
Who mocks it least is in charge.
97
00:04:37,633 --> 00:04:40,133
And the "He" this time
Is melanie.
98
00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:42,633
(high-pitched voice) hey,
I'm melanie. I'm teacher's pet.
99
00:04:42,633 --> 00:04:46,067
Oz loves me!
(high-pitched voice) I'm josh.
I can't take a deuce at work,
100
00:04:46,067 --> 00:04:48,133
So I drive home.
(normal voice)
Oz, make her stop.
101
00:04:48,133 --> 00:04:50,567
That's my girl.
(knock on door)
102
00:04:50,567 --> 00:04:53,133
Oh, my god! Dad!
Well, well.
103
00:04:53,133 --> 00:04:56,367
A little impromptu
Family reunion. Isn't that nice?
(door opens)
104
00:04:56,367 --> 00:04:58,067
(dutch) hey, cam.
No freaking way!
105
00:04:58,067 --> 00:05:00,367
I'm like a steve miller band
Reunion tour.
(door closes)
106
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:03,233
(whispers) dads love me.
107
00:05:03,233 --> 00:05:05,433
(normal voice)
'sup, old slice?
108
00:05:05,433 --> 00:05:08,000
Dutch nilbog.
(door closes)
109
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,467
Hey, man,
I just want you to know
110
00:05:10,467 --> 00:05:12,467
That I think the world
Of your daughter,
111
00:05:12,467 --> 00:05:14,133
And nothing
Would make me happier
112
00:05:14,133 --> 00:05:16,833
Than gettin' to know
The man who spawned her.
113
00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:18,933
So, uh, what do you say
We grab a couple four lokos,
114
00:05:18,933 --> 00:05:20,933
Hit up the t-bell,
Get our chalupa on,
115
00:05:20,933 --> 00:05:23,600
And just keep it 100?
I have no idea
What he just said.
116
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,600
He wants to split a beer
With you, dad.
117
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,067
Oh. Then, no.
Dad!
118
00:05:28,067 --> 00:05:30,067
A'ight. Yeah, that's cool.
No, no, I'm just glad
119
00:05:30,067 --> 00:05:32,633
You're out of the clink
Safe and sound, sir.
120
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,633
Free at last!
Oh, you just, uh,
121
00:05:34,633 --> 00:05:37,033
Told a room full of strangers
I was in prison.
122
00:05:37,033 --> 00:05:39,267
Thanks, dutch.
No, no, no.
123
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,767
I didn't mean...
Like, the bad kind of prison,
124
00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:44,433
With the shank
And then the... Butt stuff.
125
00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:46,067
(door opens)
126
00:05:46,067 --> 00:05:49,067
I'm wearing underwear.
Okay.
127
00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:52,000
Well... You must be
The boss man.
128
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,533
Larry.
I'm oz.
129
00:05:53,533 --> 00:05:55,033
Hey, oz.
130
00:05:55,033 --> 00:05:57,467
I wanna thank you for keeping
My girl gainfully employed
131
00:05:57,467 --> 00:05:59,467
These last five years.
Well, your loss
Has been our gain.
132
00:05:59,467 --> 00:06:02,267
Melanie's a real asset
To my team.
133
00:06:02,267 --> 00:06:05,700
Oh, dad.
This is our hacker, cameron.
Hey.
134
00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:08,200
Oh. A hacker.
I shared a cell with a hacker.
Oh, yeah?
135
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,200
Killed his whole family
With an ax.
I hack computers.
136
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,000
That's better.
137
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,800
Hey, mel, you think you can
Carve out a little time today
138
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,633
To hit up billy's burgers
With your old man?
Like the old days?
139
00:06:18,633 --> 00:06:21,167
(dutch) I know an invitation
When I hear one.
140
00:06:21,167 --> 00:06:23,500
Let's grab some burgers!
(larry) oh.
141
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:26,267
Seems like a nice guy.
142
00:06:26,267 --> 00:06:29,700
Oh, yeah, he's a real peach,
For a guy who's about to con us.
143
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,333
Oh, come on.
You don't even know him.
144
00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:33,467
Oh, I know him,
But he doesn't know me.
145
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:35,633
See, I'm the guy
Who put him away.
146
00:06:37,733 --> 00:06:40,467
If oz asks,
Tell him I ran home.
147
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:43,267
I have some... Personal business
To take care of.
148
00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:45,433
It's gonna be a photo finish.
149
00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:52,767
(beeps)
150
00:06:52,767 --> 00:06:55,767
Are you serious? You're the one
Who put melanie's dad in prison?
151
00:06:55,767 --> 00:06:57,767
Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, chatty cathy.
152
00:06:57,767 --> 00:07:00,567
At least let me activate
The oz cone of silence.
153
00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:02,667
(automated female voice)
Cone activation initiated.
(whoosh)
154
00:07:02,667 --> 00:07:04,667
(door closes)
There. Now everything we say
Is private.
155
00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:07,167
Take, for instance,
All the secrets I am privy to
156
00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:08,933
About the u.F.O.
That crashed at roswell.
157
00:07:08,933 --> 00:07:10,667
Let me tell you something, kid.
It happened.
158
00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:15,633
(telephones ringing,
Indistinct conversations)
159
00:07:15,633 --> 00:07:18,267
...Probes.
So what's on your mind?
160
00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:20,767
All this time, you're the one
Who busted larry,
161
00:07:20,767 --> 00:07:22,267
And nobody knows.
162
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:25,200
Larry was working the long con.
Got himself a job at a bank,
163
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,300
Worked his way up
To loan officer.
(beep)
164
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:29,300
Turns out, all the money
Larry was investing
165
00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:31,633
Was going to his alias,
Mr. "Gordon shumway,"
166
00:07:31,633 --> 00:07:32,833
And mustaches.
167
00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:34,833
By the time the bank
Figured it out,
168
00:07:34,833 --> 00:07:38,367
Larry was long gone, and they
Hired me to get the money back.
169
00:07:38,367 --> 00:07:42,700
What I didn't know at the time
Was larry had a daughter.
170
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:47,333
***
171
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:49,867
So you felt bad
And gave her a job.
I never feel bad,
172
00:07:49,867 --> 00:07:52,900
But I got a world-class
Lock picker. The only thing is
173
00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:55,700
You can never say a word
About this to melanie.
174
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:58,700
This is a secret you and I
Are taking to the grave.
175
00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:01,600
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm not a part of this.
Sure thing.
176
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,933
Don't wink.
Please stop winking.
177
00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:05,433
Gotcha.
You're still winking.
178
00:08:05,433 --> 00:08:08,033
I've been tracking larry
For the last five years.
179
00:08:08,033 --> 00:08:11,033
Rule number seven--
A tiger never changes his spots.
180
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,033
I'm pretty sure
Tigers don't have--
181
00:08:13,033 --> 00:08:14,567
Rule number eight--
182
00:08:14,567 --> 00:08:16,567
Never contradict me.
183
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:17,600
Morning, cash.
184
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,100
Uh, technically,
It's 12:30,
185
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,100
So it would be
"Good afternoon."
186
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:24,633
When you wake up,
It'll be morning.
187
00:08:24,633 --> 00:08:27,867
Larry is here to con us.
188
00:08:27,867 --> 00:08:30,733
And we are gonna stop him.
189
00:08:30,733 --> 00:08:32,733
You want me to bug him?
190
00:08:32,733 --> 00:08:35,300
I'm not comfortable spying
On melanie's dad.
Let me tell you
191
00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:37,767
What isn't comfortable.
It's when something...
192
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:41,000
(telephone ringing,
Indistinct conversations)
193
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,667
...Lengthwise.
194
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:45,967
Yes, that sounds
Very uncomfortable.
195
00:08:45,967 --> 00:08:48,133
Bye-bye.
196
00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:50,200
(beeps)
Okay, guys.
197
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,067
I sent you encrypted e-mails
Of the museum's schematics.
198
00:08:53,067 --> 00:08:56,067
(beep)
Now once we're in the gallery,
We're gonna be up against one
199
00:08:56,067 --> 00:08:59,067
Of the most state-of-the-art
High-tech security systems.
200
00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:01,833
Which won't be a problem if
I hack in and deactivate it.
True, but there's also
201
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,933
Weight sensors
In the wall mountings.
202
00:09:03,933 --> 00:09:07,600
Which means we need to swap in
A duplicate white painting.
Yeah. Not a problem.
203
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,333
We're the best.
What's up, my wookiees?
204
00:09:09,333 --> 00:09:10,767
(imitates chewbacca's growl)
205
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:13,067
And it was
Almost a normal meeting.
206
00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:15,433
Good news. I only got
One more scene left
207
00:09:15,433 --> 00:09:17,433
In my "Star wars" remake.
208
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,433
It's the scene where
Leia kisses han solo,
209
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,667
But I haven't had any luck
Casting leia.
210
00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:22,800
Ew. No.
211
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,800
No, gracias.
Yo tengo dignity.
212
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,300
Boy, I'm your mother.
213
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,933
How do you not see that
That's weird?
214
00:09:28,933 --> 00:09:30,933
Why don't you just ask
Ana ng?
215
00:09:30,933 --> 00:09:33,100
The hottest woman
In the universe?
216
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:35,400
***
217
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,400
Why don't I just
Go back in time
218
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,833
And not poop in my pants
On prom night?
I'm available.
219
00:09:40,833 --> 00:09:43,833
I can even do
My own makeup. Watch.
220
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:48,233
Oh, god.
Oh...
221
00:09:48,233 --> 00:09:50,200
(pops lips)
See? Camera-ready.
222
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,167
Okay, but only because
Everybody else said no.
223
00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:56,367
Oh, really? Yay!
No other options.
224
00:09:56,367 --> 00:09:57,867
Hey, melly belly.
225
00:09:57,867 --> 00:10:01,467
I'm sorry to interrupt, but I
Have a little surprise for you.
226
00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:03,600
Come on. Give me a hand.
(chuckles)
What is it?
227
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,600
Oh, I love that guy
Right there.
228
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,500
He even offered to
Flat-iron my wookiee beard.
229
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:10,667
Gave me a bag of mustaches
From when he used to grift.
230
00:10:10,667 --> 00:10:13,667
Check it out--
Selleck, trebek. Oh!
231
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:15,167
Armenian cable guy.
232
00:10:15,167 --> 00:10:17,167
(imitates armenian accent)
Bro, bro,
233
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:20,067
You want sexy channels?
I hook you up. I hook you up.
234
00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:23,067
Oh, my god. Oz was right.
Larry's conned you guys.
235
00:10:23,067 --> 00:10:26,500
He's distracting you by telling
You what you wanna hear.
What? No.
236
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:29,533
Larry's a great guy.
He even told us so.
237
00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:32,633
You know... I'm like...
A great guy.
238
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:36,300
Really. Great guy.
239
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:37,333
(gun cocks)
240
00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:40,333
Say good-bye...
241
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:44,100
To another boring day of work,
'cause... It's on!
242
00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:47,100
I used to play this all the time
As a kid.
243
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,600
(singsongy) nerf war!
244
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,300
(normal voice) and guess who won
Every time? (singsongy) me!
245
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:53,167
(chuckles) oh.
Okay, cam,
You're on my team,
246
00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:55,667
'cause I can tell
You got the killer instinct.
247
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:56,833
All right.
248
00:10:56,833 --> 00:10:59,133
Let's do this.
Yeah.
249
00:10:59,133 --> 00:11:02,833
("In the hall of the mountain
King" from "Peer gynt" playing)
250
00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:04,767
Leeroy...
251
00:11:04,767 --> 00:11:07,967
Jenkins!
252
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:10,033
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
253
00:11:10,033 --> 00:11:13,067
Got you! Got you! Got you!
Got you!
254
00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:16,567
Okay, kiddo,
It's just you and me now.
255
00:11:16,567 --> 00:11:19,233
And me. I'll take
A bullet for you, dad.
256
00:11:19,233 --> 00:11:22,600
Is it cool
If I call you "Dad"?
257
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,000
Oh. Friendly fire. Bummer.
258
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,267
(cocks gun)
259
00:11:27,267 --> 00:11:28,767
(shouting indistinctly)
260
00:11:28,767 --> 00:11:32,700
I don't like that bozo. I don't
Want him dating my daughter.
261
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:35,867
I was a con man. I read people.
That's what I do.
262
00:11:35,867 --> 00:11:38,467
Dutch isn't right for her.
You are.
263
00:11:38,467 --> 00:11:40,967
I know what you're doing,
And it's not gonna work.
Hold that thought,
Charlie brown.
264
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,800
I gotta save your life.
(gunshot)
265
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,467
Sorry, buddy. You're out.
266
00:11:45,467 --> 00:11:47,567
All that work.
267
00:11:47,567 --> 00:11:49,067
You don't trust me.
268
00:11:49,067 --> 00:11:50,900
That's not true.
I trust you.
269
00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:52,833
(gun clicks)
Really?
270
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:54,833
(whirs)
271
00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:55,900
All right.
272
00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:58,800
(bell dings)
Let's do this.
273
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,467
(chuckles) relax, kid. I know
You're just doing your job.
274
00:12:02,467 --> 00:12:04,800
I wouldn't trust me either.
275
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,200
(gunshot)
Aah!
276
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,367
Aah! Oh, damn it!
277
00:12:08,367 --> 00:12:10,467
I'm hit.
278
00:12:10,467 --> 00:12:13,533
(panting) treat her well.
279
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,033
You know you're not
Actually shot, right?
280
00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:17,933
Yeah,
But I got a leg cramp.
281
00:12:17,933 --> 00:12:20,633
Nighty-night, bitches.
Bye, pops.
282
00:12:20,633 --> 00:12:23,133
(dutch) larry, I'll save ya!
283
00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:27,500
(slow-motion voice) no!
284
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:30,933
(screams)
285
00:12:30,933 --> 00:12:32,933
(grunting)
Way to go, dutch.
286
00:12:32,933 --> 00:12:37,067
Whoo! I got mad air
On that one, son.
287
00:12:37,067 --> 00:12:38,867
Maybe oz won't notice.
288
00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:41,800
(whoosh)
(oz) I noticed!
289
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:42,967
(water trickling)
290
00:12:42,967 --> 00:12:44,967
Oh, everybody gets to play
But me?
291
00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:48,033
Clean up this mess
And get back to work.
292
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,567
(beeps)
293
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:58,333
(romantic theme playing)
294
00:12:58,333 --> 00:13:00,733
(grunting)
295
00:13:00,733 --> 00:13:04,500
Uhh!
296
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:07,233
Thank you. Thank you.
297
00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:10,567
It took me, like, 12 takes
To get it down to that.
298
00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:13,767
I love you.
I know.
299
00:13:13,767 --> 00:13:16,567
(hissing)
300
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,133
What do you guys think?
301
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:24,133
It sucks!
What?
302
00:13:24,133 --> 00:13:26,133
How could
Larry not like me?
303
00:13:26,133 --> 00:13:28,133
Six million people
On this planet earth,
304
00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:32,200
And they all know I'm the man.
How come he doesn't see it?
Way to make it about you, dutch.
305
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,700
You're right. This hasn't
Been enough about me.
306
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:37,533
I am balls out awesome,
And I'm gonna show him.
307
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:40,667
Whoo-hoo! Hey, boys.
Look what I made--pecan sandies.
308
00:13:40,667 --> 00:13:42,167
There you go.
309
00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:43,667
Oh.
Wow, that's nice.
310
00:13:43,667 --> 00:13:45,200
(crunches) ow!
311
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,567
(mouth full) mother of pearl!
What the hell?
Rule number 32.
312
00:13:47,567 --> 00:13:49,633
Oz doesn't do
Nice things.
313
00:13:51,367 --> 00:13:52,767
(blows loudly)
314
00:13:52,767 --> 00:13:54,667
Wakey, wakey, sweetheart!
315
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,167
You were supposed to plant
That bug on larry.
316
00:13:57,167 --> 00:13:59,233
What happened?
He found it.
317
00:13:59,233 --> 00:14:02,300
And I'm glad he did, all right?
I mean, you got in my head.
318
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:06,033
Larry's a nice guy, and he wants
What's best for melanie.
319
00:14:06,033 --> 00:14:08,967
Oh, let me guess. He said
What's best for melanie is you.
320
00:14:08,967 --> 00:14:12,467
How convenient. Just the thing
Your little ears wanted to hear.
No, no, there's no way
He's playing me.
321
00:14:12,467 --> 00:14:13,967
Oh, really?
Yeah.
322
00:14:13,967 --> 00:14:16,300
Have you seen your phone lately?
'cause I have.
(beep)
323
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:18,800
(cash) is he--is he
Grabbing your booty?
Oh.
324
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,967
(chuckles) oh, looky here.
Too much time in jail.
(beep, whirs)
325
00:14:21,967 --> 00:14:23,467
And he played me.
326
00:14:23,467 --> 00:14:27,000
Bitch got played.
Bitch got played.
327
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,233
No!
328
00:14:30,933 --> 00:14:33,733
(beeps, whirring)
329
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,133
(beep)
330
00:14:37,133 --> 00:14:40,067
Thank you... Cameron.
331
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,900
Where is it?
Hey.
332
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:47,633
There's
My future son-in-law.
Stop! I want my phone--
333
00:14:47,633 --> 00:14:50,900
You know, the one you stole
To get all the museum info?
334
00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:53,400
Cammie, come on. It's me.
Hey, you know what--
335
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,133
Eh! No, no.
336
00:14:55,133 --> 00:14:57,567
(beeping)
337
00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:02,933
(cell phone ringing)
338
00:15:02,933 --> 00:15:07,633
No. It's in your underwear,
Isn't it?
That would've been easier.
339
00:15:07,633 --> 00:15:11,367
(ringing stops, vibrates)
Oh. Just went to voice mail.
340
00:15:11,367 --> 00:15:14,100
(bag thuds)
I can't believe
You let mel down like this.
341
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:16,600
Oz was right. You're still
Gordon shumway, pulling cons.
342
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,600
How would oz know
My alias?
343
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,600
I-I-don't know.
It's a pretty common alias.
344
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,500
I mean, it's one I would use,
If you think about it.
345
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:27,633
No, the only people who know
That are the ones who busted me.
346
00:15:27,633 --> 00:15:30,400
Are you saying that oz is
The bastard that put me in jail?
No, I'm not saying that.
347
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,533
That is not what I'm saying.
348
00:15:32,533 --> 00:15:35,933
That is the last thing
I'm saying.
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna find a baseball bat,
349
00:15:35,933 --> 00:15:38,433
And I'm gonna hit that guy
Right in the face.
350
00:15:38,433 --> 00:15:41,333
Cone of silence!
Cone of silence!
351
00:15:41,333 --> 00:15:43,500
Cone of silence!
Cone of silence!
352
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:46,300
Activate your cone of silence!
Cone of silence!
(beeping)
353
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,300
(automated female voice)
Releasing toxins.
354
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:51,033
Wrong button.
Please evacuate.
355
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,533
How's your tolerance
To nerve agents?
Not good.
356
00:15:53,533 --> 00:15:56,333
Then we should probably go.
No, no, no.
You can't go out there.
357
00:15:56,333 --> 00:15:59,333
I know you're gonna kill me,
But I told larry everything.
358
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,900
Excellent. That was faster
Than expected.
What?
359
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:04,400
(doors whoosh)
I needed to backdoor
That information to larry,
360
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,400
And I used your big mouth
To do it.
361
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,900
I didn't realize he was
Gonna backdoor your phone,
362
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:10,900
But sometimes things
Slip through the crack.
363
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:14,033
Wait, wait. Is this another one
Of your insane oz plans?
Rule 11--
364
00:16:14,033 --> 00:16:17,033
I always have a plan, and this
Time, it's to show melanie
365
00:16:17,033 --> 00:16:20,033
Who her father really is. Once
We do that, she can decide--
366
00:16:20,033 --> 00:16:22,233
Stay with us
Or join the dark side.
367
00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:26,867
(types)
Obi-wan never told you
What happened to your father?
368
00:16:26,867 --> 00:16:28,867
(voice breaking)
He told me enough.
369
00:16:28,867 --> 00:16:30,867
He told me you killed him!
370
00:16:30,867 --> 00:16:32,567
(dramatic music playing)
371
00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:35,867
(gurgle, static)
You!
372
00:16:35,867 --> 00:16:38,100
Yeah, you!
Ooh, this should be fun.
373
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:40,767
I want the last five years
Of my life back,
374
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:43,567
You son of a bitch!
(clank)
375
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:45,067
Oh, come on!
376
00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:47,700
What the hell
Is going on here?
377
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:51,733
Did you know that your boss here
Is the one who put me away?
378
00:16:51,733 --> 00:16:53,767
Is that true?
379
00:16:53,767 --> 00:16:56,900
Don't look at me like
I'm the bad guy here.
380
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:59,567
I mean, he made you crooked.
I straightened you out.
Oh, I never asked you to.
381
00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:01,633
I would have been fine
On my own.
382
00:17:01,633 --> 00:17:03,733
Oz, you lied to me
The last five years.
383
00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:06,533
Let's get outta here.
384
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,300
Oswald,
I'm gonna bounce, too.
385
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:20,300
Little solidarity
With my boy larry.
386
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:22,133
(larry) turn your ass around.
387
00:17:22,133 --> 00:17:24,100
Change of plans.
I'm sticking around!
388
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,833
(beeps)
(oz) well,
We still have a job to do.
389
00:17:27,833 --> 00:17:30,267
Let's see if we can penetrate
This museum's security.
390
00:17:30,267 --> 00:17:31,767
Visual on target.
391
00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:34,000
Cracking into
Their wireless network now.
392
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:37,067
And...
(beep, electronic whirring)
393
00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:40,733
Floor grid deactivated.
We're going in.
Okay, swapping in the dupe.
394
00:17:40,733 --> 00:17:44,800
Wait. Freeze. Don't move.
Grid just went live again.
395
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,767
(alarm sounding)
You take one more step,
It's game over.
396
00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:49,133
What? I hacked in
And overrode the system.
397
00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:51,133
I think somebody overrode us.
398
00:17:51,133 --> 00:17:52,400
That's impossible.
399
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,900
(whooshing)
400
00:17:57,067 --> 00:17:59,067
Thanks for the assist,
Boys.
401
00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:04,567
Larry's there?
Tell him I said "Hey."
402
00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:06,333
Dutch, shut up.
403
00:18:08,167 --> 00:18:09,600
(beeps)
404
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,667
Melanie, don't do this.
Once you take the painting,
405
00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:14,900
There's no coming back
From that.
I'm sorry, cam.
I'm partners with my dad now,
406
00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:16,900
And that's all
That matters to me.
407
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:20,167
Hey, ask him if he wants to go
Rollerblading with me later.
Not now, dutch.
408
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:22,000
I just got a new pair of skates.
409
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,000
(beeping)
Guys, don't move.
The grid is still active.
410
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,167
This has been one heck
Of a fiesta,
411
00:18:26,167 --> 00:18:28,700
But I think it's time
We call the federales.
No, no, wait, wait, wait,
Wait, wait.
412
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:31,333
Come on. Just give her a minute
To come to her senses.
413
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:33,600
She's a big girl.
She's made her choice.
414
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,033
(alarm blaring, bell ringing)
415
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:39,433
Cash, call the cops. Tell him
This is no false alarm.
Okay, I'm on it.
416
00:18:39,433 --> 00:18:41,867
(blaring and ringing continue)
Damn it!
417
00:18:41,867 --> 00:18:43,900
Forget the paintings.
Let's just go!
(whooshing)
418
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:46,667
Cam, grab the paintings.
419
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,400
Okay. This is it.
420
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,700
This is the real one.
421
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,867
No, wait. This is.
Are you kidding me?
422
00:18:52,867 --> 00:18:56,000
Oh, dear god!
They're all so white!
(loud rip)
423
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,667
Oh, god. It's the dupe. I marked
The back, which is good,
424
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:02,733
Because I do not have
$10 million.
425
00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:07,767
(grunting)
426
00:19:07,767 --> 00:19:09,633
Well, well, looky here.
427
00:19:09,633 --> 00:19:13,333
This is what I like to call
A real pickle. Neither of us
428
00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:16,633
Know which is the real one.
I'll have to settle for 50/50.
429
00:19:16,633 --> 00:19:19,233
Larry...
430
00:19:19,233 --> 00:19:21,800
What if I told you
I could double your odds?
431
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,467
Why would you wanna do
Something like that?
432
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:26,467
I'll give you this painting
433
00:19:26,467 --> 00:19:29,800
If you promise to stay
Out of melanie's life.
Deal.
434
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,400
I just needed her
For this job. Oh!
435
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,967
And, uh, cam,
Just for the record,
436
00:19:34,967 --> 00:19:37,167
I still like you
Better than dutch.
437
00:19:37,167 --> 00:19:39,500
Why?! Ask him why!
438
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:42,667
You gave him the painting?
That was your plan?
The moment larry showed up,
439
00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:45,667
I knew he was gonna make
A play for that painting.
440
00:19:45,667 --> 00:19:47,667
So while you guys were
Playing toy guns,
441
00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:51,933
I was at the museum
Securing the real painting.
442
00:19:51,933 --> 00:19:53,467
Rule number one--
443
00:19:53,467 --> 00:19:56,300
Never question the plan.
Man, I give up.
444
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:58,633
I'm a good person!
445
00:19:58,633 --> 00:20:00,667
(beeps)
446
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,867
Hey.
Hey.
447
00:20:03,867 --> 00:20:05,533
How was your night?
448
00:20:05,533 --> 00:20:07,533
Well, same ol', same ol'.
449
00:20:07,533 --> 00:20:10,033
Really?
We're not gonna talk about it?
450
00:20:10,033 --> 00:20:12,033
This place is so weird.
451
00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:16,367
You don't loop your y's.
452
00:20:16,367 --> 00:20:18,033
Come again?
453
00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:20,867
This morning, I looked
At the postcards from my dad.
454
00:20:20,867 --> 00:20:22,867
I know you wrote them.
455
00:20:22,867 --> 00:20:24,867
I don't know what
You're talking about,
456
00:20:24,867 --> 00:20:27,533
But, uh, if I did,
I meant every word.
457
00:20:27,533 --> 00:20:29,033
(mocking) "I'm oz.
458
00:20:29,033 --> 00:20:32,000
"I write postcards
To make melanie feel better.
459
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,100
I'm proud of her.
I'm her family."
460
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:36,533
(lowered voice)
Don't you ever forget it.
461
00:20:39,133 --> 00:20:41,900
Yo, check it! Just uploaded
My "Star wars" film.
(taps key)
462
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:44,467
I am your father.
463
00:20:44,467 --> 00:20:45,967
(breathing heavily)
464
00:20:45,967 --> 00:20:49,800
No!
465
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,800
"Star wars."
I love that movie!
466
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:55,067
You should've asked me
To be leia.
467
00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:58,900
Oh. Oh, well. What--
What are you gonna do, huh?
468
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:01,167
Would you excuse me
For a minute?
469
00:21:01,167 --> 00:21:05,167
(beep)
(automated female voice)
Cone activation initiated.
470
00:21:05,167 --> 00:21:06,700
(whoosh)
471
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36540
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