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1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:02,200
Greetings and salutations.
2
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:04,200
I'm sorry we can't meet
Face-to-face,
3
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,800
But I do understand why.
4
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:08,800
(oz) now if you're looking
For top-notch security,
5
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,767
There ain't a notch above
My team here at contra.
6
00:00:10,767 --> 00:00:13,567
Banks, armored cars--we break
In and test your security
7
00:00:13,567 --> 00:00:16,267
Before the bad guys can.
There's melanie garcia,
8
00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:18,267
First-rate lock picker
And surveillance expert.
9
00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:19,967
Target's on the move.
10
00:00:19,967 --> 00:00:22,667
We've got one shot at this job,
And failure is not an option.
11
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:24,900
Cameron price--slickest hacker
On the west coast.
12
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:28,233
I got this. And we're
In the city's traffic grid.
13
00:00:28,233 --> 00:00:29,633
Josh, you're good to go.
14
00:00:29,633 --> 00:00:31,867
Josh armstrong--
Our master of disguise.
15
00:00:31,867 --> 00:00:33,667
Detouring the truck now.
16
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,300
Now! Now, cash! Now! Go!
17
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:37,033
(brakes squeal, tires screech)
18
00:00:37,033 --> 00:00:39,500
And there's cash,
Our gadget man.
19
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:42,600
The rabbit's in the trap!
It's either now or never!
20
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,833
You ready?
Let's do this.
21
00:00:44,833 --> 00:00:47,633
I assure you there's
No better crew in the business.
22
00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:50,400
What the hell are you doing?!
We're gonna need one order
23
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,800
Of your delicious onion rings,
Stat!
24
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,133
(cameron) come on!
We need them now!
Fry like the wind, woman!
25
00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:59,033
And the best part is...
Here's your lunch
26
00:00:59,033 --> 00:01:02,333
My team will do anything
I tell them.
27
00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:04,333
(michael wandmacher's
"We got your back" playing)
28
00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:06,800
* we got your back
29
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,200
* 9:00 to 5:00's
Never been this vicious *
30
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,167
* under attack
31
00:01:11,167 --> 00:01:14,967
* and we're all up
In your business *
32
00:01:14,967 --> 00:01:18,633
* whoa, oh, oh, oh
33
00:01:18,633 --> 00:01:20,633
* we got your back
34
00:01:20,633 --> 00:01:22,133
**
35
00:01:22,133 --> 00:01:24,933
(oz) okay, work time.
36
00:01:24,933 --> 00:01:27,367
Now this morning, while you guys
Were out fiddling your diddles,
37
00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:30,167
I landed us a cush new gig.
We've been hired
38
00:01:30,167 --> 00:01:33,500
By some rich, crazy old lady
To test her home security.
(beep)
39
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:35,567
There's a safe
Inside her living room.
40
00:01:35,567 --> 00:01:38,567
She wants to see if you guys can
Break in, crack it, and get out.
The suburbs?
41
00:01:38,567 --> 00:01:40,933
Don't we, like, do more
High-tech stuff here?
42
00:01:40,933 --> 00:01:44,433
I gotta agree, oz. Robbing
An old lady's child's play.
43
00:01:44,433 --> 00:01:48,833
Trust me. I know.
Thanks. Enjoy the cookies...
44
00:01:48,833 --> 00:01:50,933
While I enjoy your purse.
45
00:01:50,933 --> 00:01:52,733
You know,
Your childhood sounds fun.
46
00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:55,733
Mine was ravaged
By scoliosis.
Okay, enough chitchat.
47
00:01:55,733 --> 00:01:59,433
I want this job handled pronto.
Melanie, you're in charge.
(taps table)
48
00:01:59,433 --> 00:02:03,400
Uh, yeah, but I still haven't
Closed that bank job,
49
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:07,000
So can't we please
Find another lead?
(cameron) I can do it.
I-I don't mind.
50
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:11,467
I mean, I-if it'll make
Your life easier or whatever.
51
00:02:11,467 --> 00:02:14,500
Oh, the new guy stepping up--
Me likey!
52
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:18,700
I knight thee "Team leader."
There can be only one.
53
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:20,633
Is that "Highlander"?
54
00:02:20,633 --> 00:02:22,633
Yes, it is,
And so is this sword.
55
00:02:22,633 --> 00:02:25,233
I won it off sir sean connery
In a heated game of beer pong.
56
00:02:25,233 --> 00:02:27,733
Instead of beer, we used scotch.
Instead of pong,
57
00:02:27,733 --> 00:02:30,667
We used rifles, so I guess
We sort of played scotch rifles.
58
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:33,867
That's beside the point. I want
This job handled a.S.A.P.
59
00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:36,900
No questions.
Why so secretive?
60
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:40,300
(beeping)
I-I know, but who's the old
Lady? Fine, but at least tell us
61
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,733
What's in the safe.
Any carnival psychic
62
00:02:42,733 --> 00:02:45,667
Could come up with
Generic sentences like that.
63
00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:48,233
(beeping continues)
64
00:02:48,233 --> 00:02:52,767
Oh, and, cameron...
65
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,400
(melanie chuckles)
Ooh.
66
00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,600
Hey,
Thank you for volunteering.
67
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,267
Seriously, you just made
My life way easier.
68
00:03:02,267 --> 00:03:05,233
Ah, least I could do.
(cell phone vibrates)
69
00:03:08,067 --> 00:03:11,833
How does he know
What we're saying?
Yeah, oz reads lips.
70
00:03:11,833 --> 00:03:14,167
Of course he does.
71
00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:16,133
Have a seat, cupcake.
72
00:03:16,133 --> 00:03:18,200
Just wanna make sure
My trusted team leader
73
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:22,333
Took the job
For all the right reasons.
Yeah, figured
It was an easy job,
74
00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:24,933
Might as well get another "W"
Under my belt.
75
00:03:24,933 --> 00:03:26,633
That "W"
Stand for "Whipped"?
76
00:03:26,633 --> 00:03:28,333
Whipped? By melanie?
77
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,433
Hilarious. (chuckles)
78
00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:33,333
Thanks for dogsitting charlie
This weekend.
79
00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:35,100
Least I could do.
80
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:39,633
(growling)
And he's done.
81
00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:42,667
It's none of your business.
Your business is my business.
82
00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:45,333
You're my star hacker.
I need you focused.
83
00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:48,033
Don't get involved
With difficult women.
84
00:03:48,033 --> 00:03:49,833
It won't end well. Trust me.
(clank)
85
00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:52,767
I've dated some daffy doozies
In my day. But you're not me,
86
00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:55,233
So I'm gonna solve
Your little melanie situation
87
00:03:55,233 --> 00:03:57,333
With
A little patented oz wisdom.
88
00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:58,967
Move on, muchacho!
89
00:03:58,967 --> 00:04:02,033
She's too much woman for you,
And she has a boyfriend.
90
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:04,933
Who happens to be
A sketchy mega douche.
91
00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:07,233
(dutch) melly bean!
92
00:04:07,233 --> 00:04:10,533
(melanie) dutch!
Hey.
93
00:04:10,533 --> 00:04:13,467
Something wrong?
Yeah, something's wrong.
94
00:04:13,467 --> 00:04:16,400
I forgot to kiss you good-bye
This morning.
95
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,600
I can't start my day
Without it.
96
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:24,067
(whispers) oh, my god.
97
00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:26,733
Wow. You are boned.
(whimpers)
98
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:34,000
Our target--2358 james drive.
99
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,433
Here's the plan.
It's real complicated stuff.
100
00:04:37,433 --> 00:04:40,133
Our entry point will be...
101
00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:41,800
(beeping)
The door.
102
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,800
Mel will crack
The old lady's safe,
103
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,567
Cash will score us some
Lemon bars from the kitchen,
104
00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:49,400
And then the big finale--
We leave before she's back
105
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,067
From her early-bird dinner.
106
00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:54,267
That brings us to the next part
Of our plan--today's lunch.
107
00:04:54,267 --> 00:04:56,400
Paninis on me.
108
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,033
Technically, it's panino.
109
00:04:58,033 --> 00:04:59,933
See, "Panini" is plural.
110
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,567
Many panini, one panino.
111
00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:03,800
So now you know.
112
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,700
This is why you get no"Vagino."
So now you know.
113
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:09,067
Shut it.
114
00:05:09,067 --> 00:05:12,800
You haven't even noticed
That hot-tay with the latte...
115
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,900
Totally eye-humping you again.
116
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:16,733
Damn it.
I hate when oz is right.
117
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:20,167
I mean, I am too fixated
On melanie. Look at that girl.
118
00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:22,533
Okay, here's what we do.
119
00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:26,000
We follow her out to her car
When she leaves,
120
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,700
Get her license plate number,
Take that to the d.M.V.,
121
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:30,700
Get her name, hack into
Her e-mail account,
122
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,700
Find out what type
Of bedsheets she likes,
123
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,500
Then we buy a set. Now here's
Where it gets a little weird--
124
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:39,000
We're gonna need
A sample of her hair.
Why don't I just
Go talk to her?
125
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,833
Like in chatroulette?
In person?
126
00:05:41,833 --> 00:05:44,733
(whispers) that's ballsy.
Cam, that's too ballsy.
127
00:05:44,733 --> 00:05:46,467
Cam.
128
00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:48,000
Hey.
Hi.
129
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,467
You need some help?
130
00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:51,733
Oh, this happens
All the time.
131
00:05:51,733 --> 00:05:54,733
It's an old computer.
I just need to get another one.
132
00:05:54,733 --> 00:05:58,367
Or I can help you
Clean up your registry.
133
00:05:58,367 --> 00:05:59,400
Okay.
134
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:00,833
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
135
00:06:00,833 --> 00:06:02,167
Here.
136
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,033
Okay.
137
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,667
Now you're back into...
138
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:10,267
Yeah,
139
00:06:10,267 --> 00:06:12,067
Dying of embarrassment.
140
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,767
But for the record, I haven't
Officially signed up yet.
141
00:06:14,767 --> 00:06:17,767
I don't know. 50 bucks a month
Seems kinda high to meet
142
00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:20,967
Some divorced guy looking
For a pity bang, you know?
Yeah, totally.
143
00:06:20,967 --> 00:06:22,867
Check this out.
(whirring)
144
00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:25,067
Site's free,
Your profile's invisible,
145
00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:26,867
And now you get more bang
For your buck.
146
00:06:26,867 --> 00:06:32,167
That is the coolest/uncoolest
Thing I've ever seen.
147
00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:35,267
Thank you. I work in security.
I hack for a living.
148
00:06:35,267 --> 00:06:37,267
You're kidding.
What a coincidence.
149
00:06:37,267 --> 00:06:39,867
I hack plaque. I'm a dentist.
Oh.
150
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,867
And in
My professional opinion,
151
00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:44,100
You have a very nice smile.
152
00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:47,400
Nice line.
I assume you've used it before?
153
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,233
Uh, just with the guys
I wanna drill in my chair.
154
00:06:50,233 --> 00:06:52,333
Yeah,
That didn't come out right.
155
00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:55,567
No. No, I got it.
Sex, right?
156
00:06:55,567 --> 00:06:57,600
(chuckles)
I'm amy, by the way.
157
00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,333
Cam. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
158
00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:02,767
Amy is amazing.
She's smart. She's funny.
159
00:07:02,767 --> 00:07:05,767
She listens to me. She's--
Too good to be true.
160
00:07:05,767 --> 00:07:09,567
Okay, what's the catch here?
A wonky eye? Baby arm?
No.
161
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:12,300
Testicles?
No. I mean,
Maybe she's a little older
162
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:15,067
Than the girls I usually date,
But I like that.
163
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:17,267
No drama, no humping dogs.
It's awesome.
164
00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:20,267
Okay, I know it is, man.
Older woman. That cougar.
165
00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:24,200
(hisses) oh, my boy is
Tappin' the grave!
166
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,533
* tappin' the grave, oh *
167
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,900
Uh, no.
* tappin' the grave *
168
00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:31,533
All right, cash.
I... Yeah.
* tappin' the grave,
Tappin' the grave *
169
00:07:31,533 --> 00:07:34,300
* open the coffin
Hey, who's tappin' the grave?
170
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:38,267
No--no one. No one.
No one is tapping anything.
No, no. He's doing
The "Tappin' the grave" dance.
171
00:07:38,267 --> 00:07:39,667
That's what's up.
172
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:42,000
Wait a second.
Are you the tapper?
173
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,967
No.
You tappin'!
174
00:07:43,967 --> 00:07:46,800
I don't even...
Come on! I'm proud of you!
Get in there!
175
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,667
Yeah, you little devil!
Okay, all right.
All right, enough tap talk.
176
00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:53,833
I think oz would rather
Us focus on the job
177
00:07:53,833 --> 00:07:56,200
And--and--and not my love life.
That's--yeah.
* ooh, the tapper
178
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,033
* the tapper
Tappin' that grave *
* tappin' *
179
00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:02,767
* tappin' the grave, tappin'
The grave, open the coffin *
You dirty, rotten,
Filthy scoundrel.
180
00:08:02,767 --> 00:08:04,567
I am so proud of you.
181
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,867
Excuse me?
I hear you got a new squeeze.
182
00:08:06,867 --> 00:08:10,200
Come on, what's she like?
She have arthritis in the hands?
I don't--
183
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,433
That's my colorful way
Of saying "Big boobs."
184
00:08:12,433 --> 00:08:15,633
Wait. Where did you hear
About that?
Same way I hear about
Everything in this office--
185
00:08:15,633 --> 00:08:18,733
The old water cooler cam.
You're never
At the water cooler.
186
00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:20,633
No, no, no.
I have a water cooler cam.
187
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:23,733
So long story short,
The doctor got it out,
188
00:08:23,733 --> 00:08:25,733
And I get to be
In a medical journal.
189
00:08:25,733 --> 00:08:29,600
Hmm.
That is a complete and utter
Invasion of our privacy.
190
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:32,700
Yes. Yes, it is,
But I invade because I care.
191
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:35,133
Speaking of which, I'm glad
You finally took my advice
192
00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:38,133
And moved on from melanie.
No, look,
I really like this girl.
193
00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:41,733
I'm not with her
'cause I took your advice.
Well, you should start.
194
00:08:41,733 --> 00:08:44,867
Let's class things up a little,
Peanut. Here, take this shirt.
195
00:08:44,867 --> 00:08:47,233
It'll really make
Those baby blues pop.
196
00:08:47,233 --> 00:08:50,100
No, I don't--
Oh, that is so soft.
197
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:53,633
And this--
Chilean wild orchids--
198
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:55,233
Very, very rare.
199
00:08:55,233 --> 00:08:57,933
(sniffs) smells so good.
Thank you.
200
00:08:57,933 --> 00:09:00,100
That's how I bedded mrs. Oz,
201
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,033
The she-beast.
202
00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:04,000
Now you go
And bust into that safe.
203
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,633
I'm gonna get back
To my stories.
(pats back)
204
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:11,267
(cameron) all right, guys,
Let's rob this old lady.
(cash)
To grandmother's house we go.
205
00:09:13,367 --> 00:09:17,700
No way.
Grandma's making this
Too easy.
206
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:19,800
Oh, nice!
We'll be in and out...
207
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,567
(electricity crackling,
Alarm blaring)
Can't let go! Insides burning!
208
00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:25,033
Someone help me!
209
00:09:25,033 --> 00:09:26,567
Ooh! I should've
Thought this through!
210
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:29,567
I'll cut the power.
Don't panic.
211
00:09:29,567 --> 00:09:34,033
Aah! Aah! Panic!
Panic as hard as you can!
212
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:35,900
(hiss)
(grunts)
213
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:37,900
(grunts)
(cash) the house is alive!
214
00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:39,067
(hiss)
215
00:09:39,067 --> 00:09:42,000
So not good.
216
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:48,500
(lowered voice) it's been
A rough job so far.
217
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,633
Apparently this old lady's house
Is a geriatric fort knox.
218
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,300
(lowered voice)
No, I'll tell you
219
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,567
What we're dealing with here--
Super villain.
220
00:09:54,567 --> 00:09:57,267
Okay, if we keep this up,
We're gonna be facing
221
00:09:57,267 --> 00:10:00,267
Her army of monkey assassins,
For real.
(lowered voice) seriously.
222
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:03,333
I mean, who the hell
Is this old woman?
(melanie, cash, and cameron
Chuckle)
223
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:06,733
I lost my brows
In the line of duty.
(lowered voice) no, it's good.
224
00:10:06,733 --> 00:10:09,733
Brings out
Your huge forehead.
Don't even speak.
225
00:10:09,733 --> 00:10:12,000
We have been out there
Getting our asses kicked,
226
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,133
And you don't even have
A scratch on you.
I ripped my jeans.
227
00:10:15,133 --> 00:10:20,033
No, you bought 'em that way,
And they look great.
Guys, our job is to find flaws
In security systems, right?
228
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:23,167
We'll just tell oz
This lady doesn't have any.
229
00:10:23,167 --> 00:10:26,933
It's good news
For the client.
No, are you crazy? You never
Tell oz you failed ever.
230
00:10:26,933 --> 00:10:29,933
We haven't failed.
I'm sure oz will under...
231
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,133
(clang)
Stand.
232
00:10:31,133 --> 00:10:33,700
This is my subtle way
Of saying
233
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,000
"Go and crack that safe."
234
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,367
(clang)
235
00:10:40,133 --> 00:10:42,133
Lord, that is hot.
236
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:45,133
Aw, I bet you say that
To all the hackers.
I'm talking about the plates.
237
00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:48,800
The plates are hot.
They're hot.
Oh, uh, yes. Sorry. Sorry.
238
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:52,267
Whew.
My boss has made it terrifyingly
Clear I can't screw up this job.
239
00:10:52,267 --> 00:10:54,467
Although I might've
Found a lead.
240
00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:58,400
Ooh, that sounds juicy.
Let me see.
241
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,600
Yeah, I don't want
To bore you. Let's just...
242
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,867
Let's just hang out,
You and me.
243
00:11:03,867 --> 00:11:05,167
(indistinct conversations)
244
00:11:05,167 --> 00:11:09,367
I...
Got you a little something.
245
00:11:09,367 --> 00:11:14,267
What's this?
I just thought it could help you
Make some tough decisions,
246
00:11:14,267 --> 00:11:16,200
You know?
Thank you.
247
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,533
Well, don't thank me yet.
See if it works first.
248
00:11:19,533 --> 00:11:22,133
All right.
249
00:11:22,133 --> 00:11:24,600
Will I get lucky tonight?
250
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,733
(beep)
251
00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:27,733
Well, will you?
252
00:11:27,733 --> 00:11:30,133
No!
253
00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:35,400
We'rebreaking into
Your house!
254
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,100
Popcorn shrimp?
I bought a fryer.
255
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:39,267
I hacked into
The county records web site
256
00:11:39,267 --> 00:11:42,667
And found the architect who
Built the house, for you.
You know, it's never wise
257
00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:45,400
To yell at a man who could
Deep-fry your cojones.
258
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:49,733
You said for us to break into
Some crazy old lady's house.
And you are.
259
00:11:49,733 --> 00:11:52,400
You're breaking into
My old lady's house,
260
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,300
And believe you me,
She is crazy.
Stop. Stop. For once, please
Just tell me what's going on,
261
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,300
So I can do my job.
262
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,300
Fine. I'm no fan of clichés,
263
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:02,200
But I happen to be in one
Of the oldest stories there is.
264
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,200
Man loves woman,
Man marries woman,
265
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,200
Woman turns out to be
An evil succubus
266
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,733
Looking for a fast divorce.
267
00:12:08,733 --> 00:12:11,767
Sorry.
Um, I didn't know that.
I could really use a hug.
268
00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:15,633
And I'd rather not be
Put in a sleeper hold.
Good! You're learning--
Never touch me.
269
00:12:15,633 --> 00:12:18,433
And you're manipulating us into
Helping you win your divorce.
270
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:22,733
That's--that's not--
That's not our job.
It is now. That devil woman
Knows this company
271
00:12:22,733 --> 00:12:25,333
Is the most important thing
To me in my life.
272
00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:27,333
She wants it
Just to spite me.
273
00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:29,967
If I don't give it to her
In the divorce,
274
00:12:29,967 --> 00:12:32,500
She's gonna go public
With what's in that safe,
275
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:37,133
And no one can ever see
What is in that safe.
Okay, well,
If it's your house,
276
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:41,067
Why don't you tell me
How to break in?
I wish I knew.
277
00:12:41,067 --> 00:12:42,633
That praying mantis seems
To have learned
278
00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:44,900
A thing or two
About security from me,
279
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:48,100
And she seems to always be one
Step ahead somehow.
You think there's a leak?
280
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:51,533
It's the only explanation.
(sighs)
281
00:12:51,533 --> 00:12:55,567
Amy knows too much.
282
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:57,100
Amy.
283
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:58,867
(knock on door)
284
00:12:58,867 --> 00:13:03,100
Amy, open up. I know you live
Here. Oz told me everything.
285
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:07,667
Oh. Hey, cameron.
286
00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:09,433
I'm the leak.
287
00:13:09,433 --> 00:13:12,500
I'm--I'm the reason
I can't break into your house.
288
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,033
And then we're gonna
Climb the trellis
289
00:13:15,033 --> 00:13:17,167
And break in
Through the skylight.
Mm.
290
00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:19,167
Thanks for being
Such a great listener.
291
00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:21,367
Thanks for being
Such a great talker.
292
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,700
Lies.
293
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,933
It was all lies.
294
00:13:24,933 --> 00:13:27,067
Are you even a dentist?
No.
295
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:30,267
I flossed for you!
Honey,
You're supposed to floss.
296
00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:32,833
Oh, my god.
Played by my own girlfriend.
297
00:13:32,833 --> 00:13:34,300
(chuckles) whoa.
298
00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:37,267
It was only two weeks.
What are we, in second grade?
299
00:13:37,267 --> 00:13:40,800
Uh, no, it was
A very intense two weeks,
300
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,067
And it was implied,
I mean, I thought.
301
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:46,700
We didn't put a label--
I'm a relationship guy.
302
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:49,600
Doesn't matter.
It's over forever.
303
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,133
Oh, come on.
304
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:55,133
We had a good time together,
Didn't we?
305
00:13:58,133 --> 00:14:00,833
(oz) fry your cojones.
(dog barks)
306
00:14:00,833 --> 00:14:03,000
I gotta go.
307
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:05,867
Good thing you called me, mel.
308
00:14:05,867 --> 00:14:08,500
We got ourselves
A serious grooming sitch here.
309
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,667
Hey, would you
Stop squirming around?
310
00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:14,267
I can't manscape
A moving target.
Are you sure you know
What you're doing?
311
00:14:14,267 --> 00:14:16,667
They seem kinda high.
Uh, he looks dumb.
312
00:14:16,667 --> 00:14:20,200
He looks interested.
Watch this.
313
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:23,133
You know I ride a dune buggy?
314
00:14:23,133 --> 00:14:25,433
You see that? Huh?
315
00:14:25,433 --> 00:14:27,267
I know brows, broheim.
316
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,267
And it doesn't stop there.
317
00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:31,667
Every night,
I trim the hedges.
318
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:34,033
Oh.
It's like italian marble
Down there.
319
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:35,867
(whispers) hey, cash.
Cash. Cash.
320
00:14:35,867 --> 00:14:38,933
You really
Should look at this.
Hey, man, I'm out.
321
00:14:38,933 --> 00:14:41,200
(dutch) it's not--you sure?
Yo, what's up?
322
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,267
I need help, big-time.
Please.
I mean, we're friends.
Anything you need.
323
00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,900
What's the problem?
I kinda...
324
00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:48,867
Sort of...
325
00:14:48,867 --> 00:14:52,433
Definitely dated oz's wife.
326
00:14:53,967 --> 00:14:56,033
No. No, no.
327
00:14:56,033 --> 00:14:58,033
No, I didn't hear that.
I'm clicking "Unfriend."
328
00:14:58,033 --> 00:15:01,200
No, go away. Go away!
W-w-w-wait.
What are you doing? Wait.
329
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,733
Wait, cash. Wait. Wait.
330
00:15:02,733 --> 00:15:05,900
The man reads lips. I don't want
Him to kill me, too.
331
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:08,133
Look, I was a pawn, okay?
332
00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:11,600
The old lady's house we're
Breaking into belongs to amy.
Cover your mouth, bitch!
333
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,200
Look...
334
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,833
She is blackmailing oz.
335
00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:17,100
All right, we need to break
Into that safe,
336
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:20,733
Steal whatever's there, and keep
This whole thing quiet.
Keep what quiet?
337
00:15:20,733 --> 00:15:22,000
Uh...
338
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,067
Our--our fantasy
Football league.
Yeah.
339
00:15:24,067 --> 00:15:27,433
Cash wasn't sure if you were
Cool with that kind of thing.
340
00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:31,900
Yeah. Wasn't even sure
About that.
341
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:34,967
I'll allow it. Send out
An e-mail blast, commissioner.
342
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:36,567
All right.
343
00:15:36,567 --> 00:15:39,433
Damn it. Now I gotta come up
With a fantasy football league,
344
00:15:39,433 --> 00:15:41,567
Whatever the hell that is.
Guys, everything okay?
345
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:44,167
No, everything is
Very much not okay.
346
00:15:44,167 --> 00:15:46,433
You wanna know why?
Uh...
347
00:15:46,433 --> 00:15:48,733
This man just made sweet love
On oz's wife.
348
00:15:48,733 --> 00:15:50,667
What?
What?
349
00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:53,700
I didn't know it was oz's wife,
And I didn't make sweet anything
350
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:56,600
On anyone, all right?
The woman used me.
351
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,767
Oz owns a sword.
You do realize that.
Oz isn't gonna find out.
352
00:15:59,767 --> 00:16:03,667
The last thing I'm gonna do is
Get played by amy again.
(thud)
353
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:09,700
Wanna bet?
354
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:12,300
I know you guys can't tell
By my face,
355
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:15,467
But I am shocked right now.
356
00:16:18,167 --> 00:16:20,333
Okay, here's the plan.
It's very risky,
357
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:22,800
Highly unconventional,
But I think it might just work.
358
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,267
We break into amy's house
This afternoon.
359
00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:27,433
In broad daylight?
That's too risky, man.
360
00:16:27,433 --> 00:16:29,600
Trust me. I know
Who we're dealing with now.
361
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,600
When I was inside amy's house,
362
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,000
I got a good look
At her alarm system.
363
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,233
It's fingerprint-activated.
Okay, how are we gonna get
Her fingerprint?
364
00:16:37,233 --> 00:16:39,933
We already got it.
I might've found a lead.
365
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:42,600
Ooh! Sounds juicy.
Let me see.
366
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,400
(bell dings)
367
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,700
(high-pitched voice)
* jackpot
368
00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:48,667
Newbie.
369
00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:50,667
(cameron)
Every tuesday at 4:00,
370
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:52,667
She comes home from yoga,
Makes a smoothie,
371
00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:55,633
Takes a shower.
That's when we strike.
372
00:16:55,633 --> 00:16:57,133
Head-to-toe rubber.
373
00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:59,400
Try to shock me now,
You old bitch.
374
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,667
She's not that old.
375
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:08,500
(high-pitched whirring)
376
00:17:10,967 --> 00:17:14,767
(beeping)
377
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,433
Come on.
378
00:17:16,433 --> 00:17:18,567
(chirps)
379
00:17:18,567 --> 00:17:20,633
We're good.
380
00:17:20,633 --> 00:17:21,767
Yes!
381
00:17:24,567 --> 00:17:27,500
(whirring)
382
00:17:32,867 --> 00:17:36,200
Well-played, cammy.
383
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,300
(whispering)
This is so exciting.
384
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:40,367
It's like we're cracking
Al capone's vault.
385
00:17:40,367 --> 00:17:43,633
I wonder what's in there.
(josh) I really hope
It's an oz sex tape.
386
00:17:43,633 --> 00:17:46,433
I bet he goes slow,
Then fast, then slow again.
387
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,333
That's what I'd do.
388
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:50,767
(beeps)
(melanie) okay.
389
00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:52,967
(lock clicks)
390
00:17:52,967 --> 00:17:54,467
It's a human thumb.
391
00:17:54,467 --> 00:17:57,033
Do all y'all
Have your thumbs?
392
00:17:57,033 --> 00:17:59,100
Seriously, dude?
393
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:01,267
Flash drive.
394
00:18:01,267 --> 00:18:03,533
Oh, sex tape, sex tape,
Sex tape.
395
00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:06,567
It's not a sex tape.
Come on.
396
00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:10,000
(josh scoffs)
I still say sex tape.
397
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:13,700
Whoa! Uh, sorry.
We--we can come back.
398
00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:16,000
"We"?
399
00:18:17,733 --> 00:18:19,033
Bastards.
400
00:18:19,033 --> 00:18:20,833
Don't just stand there.
Come on in.
401
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:23,300
There's, uh,
Somebody I'd love you to meet.
402
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:25,833
(sighs and blows)
Hello.
403
00:18:25,833 --> 00:18:27,467
I'm amy.
404
00:18:27,467 --> 00:18:30,967
Yeah. Amy, hi.
It's a pleasure to meet you,
405
00:18:30,967 --> 00:18:33,500
Now, right
For the very first time.
406
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,533
(grunts)
You're gonna be seeing
407
00:18:35,533 --> 00:18:38,533
A lot more of my wife
Around here.
You mean you've...
408
00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:41,433
Reconciled.
Right on this desk, twice.
409
00:18:41,433 --> 00:18:43,467
Mm. (kisses)
What?
410
00:18:43,467 --> 00:18:45,467
I should get going. Mm.
Mm, okay.
411
00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:48,667
So I'll see you around... What
Did you say your name was again?
412
00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:50,767
Just go.
413
00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:52,267
(sniffs)
414
00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:57,200
She seems nice.
415
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,567
Really?
Yeah.
416
00:18:59,567 --> 00:19:02,067
You, uh, find her
Sexually attractive?
417
00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:05,700
No, no, no.
She's not my type.
So you wouldn't, say,
Pick her up at a panino shop,
418
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:07,867
Take her out for
A wild night on the town,
419
00:19:07,867 --> 00:19:09,300
I-talian dinner,
Romantic movie,
420
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:12,700
Top off the evening with
A nice mocha chip fro-yo?
421
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:15,067
Oh, my...
God.
422
00:19:15,067 --> 00:19:17,467
I know all. I see all.
423
00:19:17,467 --> 00:19:20,267
You know what? If it
Makes you feel any better,
424
00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:23,467
I should probably be
On this site myself.
(oz) I knew what
That little minx was up to
425
00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:25,667
The moment she sat down
With you.
426
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:28,133
That's why I fitted you
With that wire.
Take this.
427
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:31,333
And I gave you those beautiful
Flowers--romantic for you,
428
00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:33,467
Useful for me.
Here you go.
429
00:19:33,467 --> 00:19:36,600
Oh, thank you. (sniffs) mmm.
430
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,167
Are you freakin' crazy?
You had me date your wife?
431
00:19:39,167 --> 00:19:42,600
What's wrong with you?
I could've slept with her.
Oh, you really think
You had a shot?
432
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,433
That's adorable.
Don't lose that.
433
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,667
All right, fine.
What's on the drive then?
434
00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:50,233
You put us through hell
For this thing. I wanna know.
Let me ask you
A question, kid.
435
00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:52,300
Before you started working
For me, would you
436
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:55,433
Have described yourself
As a good guy or a bad guy?
Good guy for the most part,
437
00:19:55,433 --> 00:19:59,400
But I hacked for
Whoever paid me.
That's pretty much the situation
With everybody here.
438
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,667
We've all done some bad things
In the past, including me,
439
00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:04,833
And it's all
On this thumb drive--
440
00:20:04,833 --> 00:20:08,033
A lot of dirt that can get us
In a lot of trouble.
441
00:20:08,033 --> 00:20:10,800
So this whole time
You were protecting us?
442
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,900
I didn't say that.
443
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:15,633
So that's it? You're gonna
Get back together with amy
444
00:20:15,633 --> 00:20:18,233
Like nothing ever happened?
Look, my relationship with amy
445
00:20:18,233 --> 00:20:20,033
Is a delicate
And disturbing dance.
446
00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:23,033
This is our third split this
Year. I know she's bad for me,
447
00:20:23,033 --> 00:20:26,033
But it's the kind of bad
That feels a little good.
448
00:20:26,033 --> 00:20:29,800
What can I say? Moving on
Is easier said than done.
449
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,167
Doors are closing.
Watch your fingers.
450
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,867
Hey.
451
00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:37,033
Hey.
452
00:20:37,033 --> 00:20:38,700
You okay?
453
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:40,167
Yeah.
454
00:20:40,167 --> 00:20:41,567
Yeah, I'm good.
455
00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:44,733
Good. So do you have any plans
On saturday night?
456
00:20:44,733 --> 00:20:48,733
I thought you could
Do me a favor.
Oh, good. More dogsitting?
457
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,467
Jason mraz?
Yeah, dutch won't go with me.
458
00:20:54,467 --> 00:20:58,233
He thinks the guy
Stole his songs. (sighs)
459
00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:01,400
You in?
The least I could do.
460
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,700
All right.
All right.
461
00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:05,400
Wait.
462
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,900
So...
463
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,600
I'll--I'll call you.
464
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,233
We'll figure it out.
We'll figure it out.
465
00:21:13,233 --> 00:21:14,333
Yes!
466
00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:17,000
**
467
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,400
Well-played, cameron.
468
00:21:20,633 --> 00:21:22,700
**
36926
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