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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,151 --> 00:00:07,277 MEDITATION GUIDE: (OVER SPEAKER) Now allow your mind and body 2 00:00:07,278 --> 00:00:11,281 to be still as we take a purifying breath in... 3 00:00:11,282 --> 00:00:14,075 - (INHALES) - GUIDE: ....and out. 4 00:00:14,076 --> 00:00:15,618 ♪ (TRANQUIL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 5 00:00:15,619 --> 00:00:17,746 GUIDE: And again, calming breath in... 6 00:00:17,747 --> 00:00:19,539 releasing out. 7 00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:21,458 - One more breath in... - (CELL PHONE BUZZING) 8 00:00:21,459 --> 00:00:23,044 GUIDE: ...and out. 9 00:00:24,503 --> 00:00:27,130 Allow any tensions in your body to-- 10 00:00:27,131 --> 00:00:28,131 - ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪ - What? 11 00:00:28,132 --> 00:00:29,382 JAZ: Dan, the new producer 12 00:00:29,383 --> 00:00:31,176 just called an emergency meeting. 13 00:00:31,177 --> 00:00:33,721 Emergency meeting is in 25 minutes. 14 00:00:34,472 --> 00:00:37,182 Great! Fuck. Terrible. Bye. 15 00:00:37,183 --> 00:00:39,559 - ♪ (TRANQUIL MUSIC RESUMES) ♪ - GUIDE: ...to gently float away 16 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:43,104 as we go again, in and out. 17 00:00:43,105 --> 00:00:46,149 - Can you feel the tension just melting away? - ♪ (INTENSE MUSIC OVERLAPPING) ♪ 18 00:00:46,150 --> 00:00:47,859 - (CAR HORN HONKING) - (SCREAMS) 19 00:00:47,860 --> 00:00:49,778 God, these scripts are heavy. 20 00:00:49,779 --> 00:00:51,988 Probably because they're so great. 21 00:00:51,989 --> 00:00:55,241 Emergency all-hands. I hope it's not a firing squad. 22 00:00:55,242 --> 00:00:56,785 Are you worried it's a firing squad? 23 00:00:56,786 --> 00:00:58,161 Literally never crossed my mind. 24 00:00:58,162 --> 00:00:59,996 Smart. Don't overthink it. 25 00:00:59,997 --> 00:01:02,332 Like the script. If anything, underthink it. 26 00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:03,541 I've seen it a million times, Dag. 27 00:01:03,542 --> 00:01:05,668 Speed up, spend less, yada. It's just the biz. 28 00:01:05,669 --> 00:01:08,004 The biz. Like short for business. 29 00:01:08,005 --> 00:01:09,172 Did you coin that? 30 00:01:09,173 --> 00:01:10,507 I've literally never heard that before. 31 00:01:10,508 --> 00:01:12,509 Pre-dawn emergency meeting? 32 00:01:12,510 --> 00:01:13,676 Am I to be stripped and flogged 33 00:01:13,677 --> 00:01:15,178 in front of my fucking props department? 34 00:01:15,179 --> 00:01:17,347 And if it's a spanking, in a breakout room, please. 35 00:01:17,348 --> 00:01:19,391 - Breakout spanking. - Look, Eric, this is good. 36 00:01:19,392 --> 00:01:21,810 It shows she's invested in the movie. In your vision. 37 00:01:21,811 --> 00:01:23,061 JAZ: Meeting's cancelled. 38 00:01:23,062 --> 00:01:24,688 New producer just cancelled it. 39 00:01:24,689 --> 00:01:26,398 DANIEL: Sorry, what? 40 00:01:26,399 --> 00:01:28,401 DAG: Mind games. Bravo. 41 00:01:29,026 --> 00:01:30,527 ERIC: What is happening, Daniel? 42 00:01:30,528 --> 00:01:32,237 Guys, it's called ghosting. 43 00:01:32,238 --> 00:01:33,780 Game recognize game? 44 00:01:33,781 --> 00:01:35,031 (CONFUSED CHATTER) 45 00:01:35,032 --> 00:01:36,366 All right, listen up. 46 00:01:36,367 --> 00:01:37,701 (CHATTER STOPS) 47 00:01:37,702 --> 00:01:40,245 DANIEL: Do not panic. 48 00:01:40,246 --> 00:01:41,871 It's a stunt day, big technical day, 49 00:01:41,872 --> 00:01:44,708 and we're gonna execute this and show her how good we are. 50 00:01:44,709 --> 00:01:46,752 We're craftspeople, our director's a visionary. 51 00:01:47,294 --> 00:01:48,295 Forward cinema! 52 00:01:49,338 --> 00:01:51,549 - (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) - Thank you. 53 00:01:53,175 --> 00:01:54,509 Should we be clapping? 54 00:01:54,510 --> 00:01:56,469 Stephanie, bring my buggy around. 55 00:01:56,470 --> 00:01:58,304 And arrange me a rapid response haircut. 56 00:01:58,305 --> 00:01:59,389 This is serious. 57 00:01:59,390 --> 00:02:00,724 Dan, would now be a good time 58 00:02:00,725 --> 00:02:02,058 to talk about career progressions? 59 00:02:02,059 --> 00:02:04,310 Everything's exploding at a million miles an hour 60 00:02:04,311 --> 00:02:07,272 and the movie is a scrotum resting on a razor's edge. 61 00:02:07,273 --> 00:02:09,107 Got it. So maybe like in an hour? 62 00:02:09,108 --> 00:02:11,735 Daniel. (CHUCKLES) Hey, what's happening? 63 00:02:11,736 --> 00:02:13,069 It's all good, mate. It's all good. 64 00:02:13,070 --> 00:02:14,696 Great, mate, great. What's happening? 65 00:02:14,697 --> 00:02:16,281 Yeah, no, it's all great. We're just forwards. 66 00:02:16,282 --> 00:02:17,615 Yeah, but what is happening? 67 00:02:17,616 --> 00:02:19,284 Like literally, what is happening? 68 00:02:19,285 --> 00:02:20,869 New producer, are we being X-rayed? 69 00:02:20,870 --> 00:02:22,037 Absolutely not. 70 00:02:22,038 --> 00:02:23,580 Because X-ray shows up something weird, 71 00:02:23,581 --> 00:02:24,664 you cut out the tumor, 72 00:02:24,665 --> 00:02:26,249 and you replace it with Kit Harington. 73 00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:28,126 - Or one of the Skarsgårds. - Which one? 74 00:02:28,127 --> 00:02:30,128 - I don't mind. - DANIEL: Adam, mate, this is not about you. 75 00:02:30,129 --> 00:02:31,630 It has nothing to do with my body shape? 76 00:02:32,631 --> 00:02:34,716 I know I Dorito-ed myself. 77 00:02:34,717 --> 00:02:36,134 Dorito-ed myself, bigger on top, 78 00:02:36,135 --> 00:02:37,427 tapering down to a skinnier leg. 79 00:02:37,428 --> 00:02:38,970 But please tell our new producer 80 00:02:38,971 --> 00:02:41,139 that I am prioritizing squats and lunges. 81 00:02:41,140 --> 00:02:42,932 Dude, the studio loves your legs. 82 00:02:42,933 --> 00:02:45,435 Oh, high fives for that guy's thighs. 83 00:02:45,436 --> 00:02:47,687 Great, 'cause don't believe everything you read online, 84 00:02:47,688 --> 00:02:48,855 especially WikiLegs. 85 00:02:48,856 --> 00:02:51,107 - Do not look up that site. - Morning, cunts. 86 00:02:51,108 --> 00:02:52,776 - Hello. - Headlamps on, 87 00:02:52,777 --> 00:02:54,652 ready for another day down the gold mine. 88 00:02:54,653 --> 00:02:56,863 Yes, Peter. All right, let's go. Okay. 89 00:02:56,864 --> 00:03:00,283 Poor pathetic little prick. Holding it together, 90 00:03:00,284 --> 00:03:02,077 but he knows. 91 00:03:02,078 --> 00:03:04,204 New producer airdrops in. 92 00:03:04,205 --> 00:03:06,790 He's auditioning for his job. You all are. 93 00:03:06,791 --> 00:03:09,167 But obviously not me. I'm just number two. 94 00:03:09,168 --> 00:03:11,294 Call sheet and my mother agree. 95 00:03:11,295 --> 00:03:13,922 I'm second best. See you out there, number one. 96 00:03:13,923 --> 00:03:15,924 Just so you're hearing it so that you've heard it, 97 00:03:15,925 --> 00:03:18,301 new producer is cancelling 80 of our Moss Men for today. 98 00:03:18,302 --> 00:03:19,761 DAG: Mind games part two. Boom. 99 00:03:19,762 --> 00:03:21,638 Uh, okay. She's sending a message. 100 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:24,140 How much can we take before we squeal? 101 00:03:24,141 --> 00:03:25,350 Scrooge McFuck. 102 00:03:25,351 --> 00:03:27,852 So how many extras do we have for the big crowd shot now? 103 00:03:27,853 --> 00:03:29,187 - Five. - (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) 104 00:03:29,188 --> 00:03:30,313 Eric's not gonna like that. 105 00:03:30,314 --> 00:03:31,856 I'm not gonna like that. I don't like that. 106 00:03:31,857 --> 00:03:34,276 Great. I'll let the trades know. 107 00:03:35,695 --> 00:03:36,696 Rude. 108 00:03:37,738 --> 00:03:40,449 ♪ (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 109 00:03:45,204 --> 00:03:46,872 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 110 00:03:48,874 --> 00:03:50,041 (BELL RINGING) 111 00:03:50,042 --> 00:03:54,129 Stunt day! All eyeballs on me. Will he make it? Will he cave? 112 00:03:54,130 --> 00:03:56,005 Will an actual man die? 113 00:03:56,006 --> 00:03:57,425 Yes, no, and no. 114 00:03:58,134 --> 00:03:59,509 Everyone's freaking out, Dag. 115 00:03:59,510 --> 00:04:01,845 Watch as I neutralize the mass panic. 116 00:04:01,846 --> 00:04:03,096 Xanax Man. 117 00:04:03,097 --> 00:04:05,515 I'm being asked to remind you, Peter's spine. 118 00:04:05,516 --> 00:04:07,976 He's only good for three launches, contractually. 119 00:04:07,977 --> 00:04:09,394 Okay, three goes! 120 00:04:09,395 --> 00:04:12,022 Peter's spine is good for three goes. 121 00:04:12,023 --> 00:04:13,690 Peter's spinal X-rays, if that helps. 122 00:04:13,691 --> 00:04:15,692 It doesn't. Back in your box, please, Bryson. 123 00:04:15,693 --> 00:04:16,860 Eric, sir. 124 00:04:16,861 --> 00:04:19,404 Loving the haircut. A sharp cut for a sharp mind. 125 00:04:19,405 --> 00:04:22,657 Daniel, I stayed up till 5:00 a.m. 126 00:04:22,658 --> 00:04:24,868 redrawing storyboards for the Jackhammer escape. 127 00:04:24,869 --> 00:04:26,954 Eric, don't panic. We're going to hold the course. 128 00:04:28,122 --> 00:04:29,372 Oh, my God, that's amazing. 129 00:04:29,373 --> 00:04:31,875 "A crowd of Moss People stretch to the horizon." 130 00:04:31,876 --> 00:04:34,128 Daniel, I have five. 131 00:04:35,755 --> 00:04:37,547 - And it's bullshit. - I'll make it work, okay? 132 00:04:37,548 --> 00:04:39,466 I'm going to make a crowd of five look like 5,000. 133 00:04:39,467 --> 00:04:41,593 Loaves and fishes, but for people. 134 00:04:41,594 --> 00:04:44,429 - Loaves and people. - Very nice. 135 00:04:44,430 --> 00:04:45,638 "The director's cut." 136 00:04:45,639 --> 00:04:47,850 It's funnier every time. Thank you, Stephanie. 137 00:04:48,934 --> 00:04:51,269 Hello. Number two checking in for business. 138 00:04:51,270 --> 00:04:54,022 So how are you up on the wires, number one? 139 00:04:54,023 --> 00:04:55,398 (GROANS) Wonderful. Thank you, Peter. 140 00:04:55,399 --> 00:04:58,610 Because one can look flaccid if one's not careful, 141 00:04:58,611 --> 00:05:00,779 bobbing around like astronaut cock. 142 00:05:00,780 --> 00:05:02,906 Well, my movement coach is from Zagreb's 143 00:05:02,907 --> 00:05:05,368 - foremost ballet, so... - How many ballets do they have? 144 00:05:06,118 --> 00:05:07,285 Uh... 145 00:05:07,286 --> 00:05:08,495 Ready? 146 00:05:08,496 --> 00:05:09,954 Uh, question on Mollusk Man. 147 00:05:09,955 --> 00:05:12,082 It's five minutes each time he needs the bathroom. 148 00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:14,543 So we could fit him with a bag or we do the diaper. 149 00:05:15,711 --> 00:05:17,420 - Diaper? - JAKY: Nappy. The adult nappy. 150 00:05:17,421 --> 00:05:19,923 We've checked and they do come in his size from Belgium. 151 00:05:19,924 --> 00:05:22,592 - Big, big diaper. - Sounds like my kind of diaper. 152 00:05:22,593 --> 00:05:24,636 - (CHUCKLES) - Less comfortable and it will limit 153 00:05:24,637 --> 00:05:26,888 his range of movement, especially when sodden. 154 00:05:26,889 --> 00:05:28,473 Plus only a 300-dollar saving. 155 00:05:28,474 --> 00:05:30,517 Less pleasant for all involved, the diaper, no? 156 00:05:30,518 --> 00:05:32,435 It's a saving in terms of playing ball. 157 00:05:32,436 --> 00:05:34,312 Shows we're not afraid to make the tough decisions. 158 00:05:34,313 --> 00:05:35,438 For labor reasons, 159 00:05:35,439 --> 00:05:38,108 Shane can't know about the diaper but off the record... 160 00:05:38,109 --> 00:05:40,110 Okay, let's have him diapered. 161 00:05:40,111 --> 00:05:41,778 Happy to nappy. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 162 00:05:41,779 --> 00:05:43,988 "I'm ready for my diaper, Mr. DeMille." 163 00:05:43,989 --> 00:05:45,741 (LAUGHS) Very good. 164 00:05:47,576 --> 00:05:49,285 - Okay, stunt rehearsal. - Yeah. 165 00:05:49,286 --> 00:05:51,621 Stunt rehearsal, everyone on their A-game. 166 00:05:51,622 --> 00:05:54,499 Remember we are top-drawer professionals, thank you. 167 00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:55,625 - ADAM: Let's do it! - Eric, sir. 168 00:05:55,626 --> 00:05:57,461 Okay. And so... 169 00:05:58,546 --> 00:06:01,631 "The Jackhammer Escape." Moss Men swarm. 170 00:06:01,632 --> 00:06:03,717 Tecto produces his Invisible Jackhammer 171 00:06:03,718 --> 00:06:05,510 and both of you blast off to freedom. 172 00:06:05,511 --> 00:06:07,387 Running in the Invisible Jackhammer. 173 00:06:07,388 --> 00:06:09,973 (GASPS SOFTLY) Two words, no words. 174 00:06:09,974 --> 00:06:11,266 Third word, wow. 175 00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:13,810 - (EXHALES SHARPLY) - (KNOCKING) 176 00:06:13,811 --> 00:06:15,855 ADAM: Great. (EXHALES SHARPLY) 177 00:06:16,647 --> 00:06:19,691 My God, I am so blessed. 178 00:06:19,692 --> 00:06:22,986 Front row seats for the Invisible Jackhammer. 179 00:06:22,987 --> 00:06:25,865 Standing here, watching you jacking off. 180 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,326 Yeah. Uh, do-- do you have the concept art? 181 00:06:30,327 --> 00:06:31,412 Absolutely. 182 00:06:33,622 --> 00:06:37,000 Great, and how... how invisible is this thing? 183 00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:39,586 It's totally invisible. Obviously, you will see it. 184 00:06:39,587 --> 00:06:41,296 Okay, I got it. 185 00:06:41,297 --> 00:06:43,132 I'm sorry, I don't got it. Um... 186 00:06:44,592 --> 00:06:46,176 It's like an air wobble. 187 00:06:46,177 --> 00:06:48,678 It would be nothing, but solid, yes? 188 00:06:48,679 --> 00:06:50,346 Okay, no, no. 189 00:06:50,347 --> 00:06:54,142 It's the outline, like glass. 190 00:06:54,143 --> 00:06:57,730 Yes, but is glass invisible? 191 00:06:59,190 --> 00:07:01,275 My dog once walked into a patio door, if that helps. 192 00:07:01,984 --> 00:07:03,151 Is it okay? 193 00:07:03,152 --> 00:07:04,402 PETER: Shh, quiet, please. 194 00:07:04,403 --> 00:07:06,614 Number one is pretending to be on a drill, 195 00:07:07,573 --> 00:07:08,698 which is invisible. 196 00:07:08,699 --> 00:07:09,741 Hey, props. 197 00:07:09,742 --> 00:07:13,161 Props, can I have my Tecto Sonic Blockers? 198 00:07:13,162 --> 00:07:14,412 JAZ: Locating Sonic Blockers. 199 00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:15,538 CREW: Locating Sonic Blockers! 200 00:07:15,539 --> 00:07:16,790 Are you sure about this? 201 00:07:16,791 --> 00:07:18,792 - The Invisible Jackhammer? - (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) 202 00:07:18,793 --> 00:07:20,877 I thought it would look cool, but it doesn't. 203 00:07:20,878 --> 00:07:23,797 Well, that's invaluable input, Mr. Spielberg. Thank you. 204 00:07:23,798 --> 00:07:25,382 Running in Sonic Blockers. 205 00:07:25,383 --> 00:07:27,008 Thanks. 206 00:07:27,009 --> 00:07:28,259 I'm going to say something. Excuse me? 207 00:07:28,260 --> 00:07:30,387 I will genuinely incapacitate you. 208 00:07:30,388 --> 00:07:32,222 Yeah, just need a second with it. 209 00:07:32,223 --> 00:07:33,598 - ERIC: Yeah, the hair. - Hair. 210 00:07:33,599 --> 00:07:35,225 - ERIC: Fix the hair. - Hair. Fix the hair. 211 00:07:35,226 --> 00:07:36,393 JAZ: Fixing the hair. 212 00:07:36,394 --> 00:07:37,769 If they're doing something wrong, 213 00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:39,020 surely we have to say. 214 00:07:39,021 --> 00:07:41,272 No, Dag, we don't have an opinion, okay? 215 00:07:41,273 --> 00:07:43,775 We just keep the trains running. Who cares what's on them? 216 00:07:43,776 --> 00:07:45,402 Potatoes, Christmas presents. 217 00:07:45,403 --> 00:07:46,820 Dissidents, trafficked children. 218 00:07:46,821 --> 00:07:48,655 That's not what it is though, is it? 219 00:07:48,656 --> 00:07:50,532 Ours is not to reason why, Dag. 220 00:07:50,533 --> 00:07:51,908 Can I at least have some headphones 221 00:07:51,909 --> 00:07:53,034 - so that I can hear? - Headphones? 222 00:07:53,035 --> 00:07:54,869 - Are you for fucking real? - JAZ: Still fixing the hair. 223 00:07:54,870 --> 00:07:56,663 I didn't get my first pair of headphones for six years. 224 00:07:56,664 --> 00:07:57,747 Okay. 225 00:07:57,748 --> 00:07:58,915 DANIEL: You see Mike, the gaffer? 226 00:07:58,916 --> 00:08:00,542 He worked on Raiders of the Lost Ark. 227 00:08:00,543 --> 00:08:03,044 Hasn't heard a single word of dialogue his entire career. 228 00:08:03,045 --> 00:08:04,379 Well, that's sad. 229 00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:05,672 - Poor Mike. - Yeah, well, 230 00:08:05,673 --> 00:08:07,173 it's heartbreaking, but it's the biz. 231 00:08:07,174 --> 00:08:08,591 - JAZ: Hair's fixed. - CREW: Hair's fixed. 232 00:08:08,592 --> 00:08:10,885 DANIEL: Okay, stunt rehearsal! 233 00:08:10,886 --> 00:08:12,513 "Surrounded on all sides, 234 00:08:13,472 --> 00:08:15,765 Tecto activates his Invisible Jackhammer, 235 00:08:15,766 --> 00:08:17,517 drilling down into the earth." 236 00:08:17,518 --> 00:08:19,145 - ♪ (HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ - (GRUNTS) 237 00:08:19,812 --> 00:08:21,313 (IMITATES JACKHAMMER) 238 00:08:21,939 --> 00:08:22,982 "Tecto grabs Eye, 239 00:08:24,108 --> 00:08:27,444 and the force shoots them into the air like a rocket." 240 00:08:27,445 --> 00:08:30,822 Cue Moss Men and action stunt! 241 00:08:30,823 --> 00:08:32,157 ADAM: It's hammer time! 242 00:08:32,158 --> 00:08:34,952 - ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪ - (MACHINE WHIRRING) 243 00:08:36,996 --> 00:08:39,039 ADAM: Warp speed, baby! 244 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,292 - PETER: What are you doing? - ADAM: No one called "cut." 245 00:08:42,293 --> 00:08:45,837 Not for me to say, but shouldn't that be faster? 246 00:08:45,838 --> 00:08:48,631 - Shane is expecting warp speed. - ERIC: Okay, cut! 247 00:08:48,632 --> 00:08:50,300 JAZ: The winch has to roll itself out, 248 00:08:50,301 --> 00:08:52,093 15 meters to go. 249 00:08:52,094 --> 00:08:53,803 PETER: I've been in motorized bath chairs 250 00:08:53,804 --> 00:08:55,056 faster than this. 251 00:08:56,682 --> 00:08:59,601 ADAM: Eric! Hey, Eric! Any notes for me? 252 00:08:59,602 --> 00:09:01,686 So, I've been talking to Chris. 253 00:09:01,687 --> 00:09:03,480 Did I tell you that I've been talking to Chris? 254 00:09:03,481 --> 00:09:04,647 Couple of times, yeah, yeah. 255 00:09:04,648 --> 00:09:06,274 It's very cool how you're friends with him now. 256 00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:08,151 He writes me these beautiful letters. 257 00:09:08,152 --> 00:09:09,986 Longhand. 258 00:09:09,987 --> 00:09:12,364 Chris, always Chris, never Christopher. 259 00:09:12,365 --> 00:09:15,034 - Chris Nolan. - Wow, that's great for you. 260 00:09:16,202 --> 00:09:17,203 So great, anyway. 261 00:09:18,329 --> 00:09:20,038 Yeah, well, my point is... 262 00:09:20,039 --> 00:09:22,749 how would Chris make sense of the Invisible Jackhammer? 263 00:09:22,750 --> 00:09:25,752 So yes. I want this. This here. 264 00:09:25,753 --> 00:09:27,504 Talk to our new producer, 265 00:09:27,505 --> 00:09:30,383 get me my 80 extras, or I will not shoot, yeah? 266 00:09:31,717 --> 00:09:34,010 (SIGHS) So tough, isn't it? The biz. 267 00:09:34,011 --> 00:09:35,929 Dag, I'm going to get this stunt if it kills me 268 00:09:35,930 --> 00:09:37,472 and everyone involved in this production. 269 00:09:37,473 --> 00:09:38,932 Dan, I've got Health and Safety for you. 270 00:09:38,933 --> 00:09:40,850 Welcome! Thank you, Health and Safety. 271 00:09:40,851 --> 00:09:44,062 Onwards, with caution. (CLEARS THROAT) 272 00:09:44,063 --> 00:09:45,647 JAZ: Adam's gone back to his trailer. 273 00:09:45,648 --> 00:09:47,900 DANIEL: Course he has. Send in Xanax Man. 274 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,239 Adam, sir. 275 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:55,907 - Hey. - DANIEL: We need you back on set, mate. 276 00:09:55,908 --> 00:09:57,867 What's up? Just give me a second. 277 00:09:57,868 --> 00:09:58,868 Yeah. 278 00:09:58,869 --> 00:10:02,790 Um, will you just be straight with me? 279 00:10:05,668 --> 00:10:08,254 Do you buy me as a guy who can make earthquakes happen? 280 00:10:09,338 --> 00:10:10,423 Earthquakes, yes. 281 00:10:11,173 --> 00:10:12,174 Absolutely. 282 00:10:13,008 --> 00:10:15,052 Absolutely, 100 percent, okay? 283 00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:16,971 All right? 284 00:10:18,514 --> 00:10:19,681 We done? Cool. 285 00:10:19,682 --> 00:10:23,226 It's just so wild, you know, I gave up my dog to be here. 286 00:10:23,227 --> 00:10:25,770 - Like a top-of-the-line dog. - Oh, really? Top-of-the-line? 287 00:10:25,771 --> 00:10:27,605 Yeah. I just... (SIGHS) 288 00:10:27,606 --> 00:10:29,274 I need you to be real with me. 289 00:10:29,275 --> 00:10:30,817 Like, as a... as a friend. 290 00:10:30,818 --> 00:10:32,569 One of my closest friends, actually. 291 00:10:32,570 --> 00:10:34,446 Oh, Adam, I'm... I'm flattered. 292 00:10:34,447 --> 00:10:36,781 What do you think? Like, really, really think 293 00:10:36,782 --> 00:10:38,617 about the Invisible Jackhammer? 294 00:10:43,039 --> 00:10:45,331 Honestly, I think 295 00:10:45,332 --> 00:10:48,127 the Invisible Jackhammer is fucking badass. 296 00:10:51,380 --> 00:10:52,422 DANIEL: Mm. Mm-hmm. 297 00:10:52,423 --> 00:10:53,757 I'm not gonna look like an asshole up there? 298 00:10:53,758 --> 00:10:54,842 DANIEL: No, look. 299 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,179 I feel fucking excellent. Okay? 300 00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:01,765 Anyone can do fucking... Ibsen. 301 00:11:01,766 --> 00:11:03,141 When you're flying through the air 302 00:11:03,142 --> 00:11:05,393 on a jackhammer made of sound waves, 303 00:11:05,394 --> 00:11:07,562 - you look awesome. - Really? 304 00:11:07,563 --> 00:11:10,273 You look brilliant. You're a genius. 305 00:11:10,274 --> 00:11:13,234 In my opinion, the greatest actor who ever lived. 306 00:11:13,235 --> 00:11:15,278 - (CLEARS THROAT) - Uh... 307 00:11:15,279 --> 00:11:17,781 No, I'm not. Like-- (SCOFFS) 308 00:11:17,782 --> 00:11:20,033 Don't make me repeat myself because I won't. 309 00:11:20,034 --> 00:11:21,951 It's just Peter. He's fucking with me. 310 00:11:21,952 --> 00:11:23,370 He's fucking with my head. It's like... 311 00:11:23,371 --> 00:11:26,122 He's trying to undermine me in front of the new producer. 312 00:11:26,123 --> 00:11:27,999 It's, like, maybe the call sheet thing, 313 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,460 or 'cause I'm number one and he doesn't like it? 314 00:11:30,461 --> 00:11:33,046 You know, he's making faces, unscripted faces, and like-- 315 00:11:33,047 --> 00:11:34,464 DANIEL: Okay, I'm gonna talk to him. I will. 316 00:11:34,465 --> 00:11:36,049 - Thank you. Thank you. - Yeah. 317 00:11:36,050 --> 00:11:37,467 You're so good at your job. 318 00:11:37,468 --> 00:11:39,719 You know, I might have lost a dog, 319 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,347 but I think I gained one too. 320 00:11:42,932 --> 00:11:44,808 Oh, me? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Woof, woof. 321 00:11:44,809 --> 00:11:46,309 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 322 00:11:46,310 --> 00:11:47,812 Yeah. All right. 323 00:11:49,146 --> 00:11:51,065 Daniel the Spaniel! (CHUCKLES) 324 00:11:52,650 --> 00:11:53,693 Thanks. 325 00:12:01,992 --> 00:12:03,910 Oh, don't mind me. I'm just poking through your stuff. 326 00:12:03,911 --> 00:12:05,037 If that's cool. 327 00:12:05,996 --> 00:12:07,623 Movies, movies, movies. 328 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,834 Someone's a movie buff. 329 00:12:10,459 --> 00:12:12,001 Shrink wrap? 330 00:12:12,002 --> 00:12:13,670 Yeah, well, one day when all this is done, 331 00:12:13,671 --> 00:12:15,839 maybe I'll get to listen to the director's commentary 332 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,216 on Eraserhead. 333 00:12:17,883 --> 00:12:19,552 DAG: My God, dare to dream. 334 00:12:20,594 --> 00:12:23,346 Okay, I've got a question for you. 335 00:12:23,347 --> 00:12:25,766 Have you ever thought, "Am I killing cinema?" 336 00:12:26,684 --> 00:12:28,393 Genuinely never thought about it. 337 00:12:28,394 --> 00:12:30,812 DAG: Because the, uh, Invisible Jackhammer 338 00:12:30,813 --> 00:12:33,356 got me thinking, what if you are? 339 00:12:33,357 --> 00:12:35,525 What if this isn't a dream factory? 340 00:12:35,526 --> 00:12:37,527 What if it's an abattoir, you know? 341 00:12:37,528 --> 00:12:39,696 And we've all got blood on our hands 342 00:12:39,697 --> 00:12:41,698 and fatty tissue on our faces 343 00:12:41,699 --> 00:12:43,658 and we're sat here, you know, eating sandwiches? 344 00:12:43,659 --> 00:12:45,660 Dag, can you just stop talking? Peck, peck, pecking away 345 00:12:45,661 --> 00:12:47,704 like a fucking question chicken, okay? 346 00:12:47,705 --> 00:12:49,372 I'm happy to share my valuable industry insights 347 00:12:49,373 --> 00:12:51,374 and years of accumulated wisdom, but I just... 348 00:12:51,375 --> 00:12:54,002 Sorry for shouting. I just need to figure out 349 00:12:54,003 --> 00:12:55,545 how I'm going to execute this stunt 350 00:12:55,546 --> 00:12:56,921 before I lose my job. 351 00:12:56,922 --> 00:12:58,924 Sorry. Thank you, I'm sorry. 352 00:13:01,218 --> 00:13:02,595 I filled up your water bottle. 353 00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:09,435 Well, that's really nice. 354 00:13:10,436 --> 00:13:11,895 And you've made me look like a prick. 355 00:13:11,896 --> 00:13:12,938 Sorry. 356 00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:21,447 Look, you seem really smart. 357 00:13:21,947 --> 00:13:22,906 You're here now. 358 00:13:22,907 --> 00:13:24,449 We're going to be working together. That's great. 359 00:13:24,450 --> 00:13:27,952 I just need you to use your initiative, yeah? 360 00:13:27,953 --> 00:13:31,915 Anita's got everyone panicked. Like dogs in a washing machine. 361 00:13:31,916 --> 00:13:35,377 Mm. Crazy idea. Why don't you go and talk to her? 362 00:13:35,378 --> 00:13:36,587 (CHUCKLES) 363 00:13:39,256 --> 00:13:40,549 (SMACKS LIPS) Oh. 364 00:13:43,135 --> 00:13:44,511 Bit of fun. 365 00:13:44,512 --> 00:13:47,181 Yeah, that was Jim. Third AD before you. 366 00:13:48,391 --> 00:13:50,101 He threw that up there before he killed himself. 367 00:13:50,351 --> 00:13:52,269 (LAUGHS) 368 00:13:55,439 --> 00:13:57,108 DANIEL: You know what? Fuck it. 369 00:14:01,696 --> 00:14:02,738 ANITA: Enter. 370 00:14:05,408 --> 00:14:07,410 Dan, hi. Good to see you. 371 00:14:08,244 --> 00:14:09,328 Um... 372 00:14:10,037 --> 00:14:11,538 Um... 373 00:14:11,539 --> 00:14:13,748 - Eric wants his Moss-- - I'm so sorry about this morning. 374 00:14:13,749 --> 00:14:16,126 The emergency meeting, the no-show. 375 00:14:16,127 --> 00:14:17,378 Hope it didn't bump. 376 00:14:18,504 --> 00:14:21,089 Nah, nah. Barely noticed really. 377 00:14:21,090 --> 00:14:23,967 - Cool beans. - ANITA: Great. Uh, 378 00:14:23,968 --> 00:14:26,678 and I just wanted to make sure things aren't gonna be 379 00:14:26,679 --> 00:14:28,638 - weird between us. - Anita, why would they be weird? 380 00:14:28,639 --> 00:14:30,640 Because we were fucking pretty successfully 381 00:14:30,641 --> 00:14:32,517 for about six months and then I started fucking 382 00:14:32,518 --> 00:14:34,519 a very famous Australian actor behind your back 383 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,479 and now I'm your boss? 384 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,857 I mean, I don't... I don't even think about that stuff anymore. 385 00:14:38,858 --> 00:14:41,484 Phew! (LAUGHS) What a relief, because, um, 386 00:14:41,485 --> 00:14:44,029 I may need to ream you out in front of everyone. 387 00:14:44,030 --> 00:14:45,363 Well, you can't shout at the director, 388 00:14:45,364 --> 00:14:46,614 so hit this bitch, right? 389 00:14:46,615 --> 00:14:49,451 - Yeah, a hanging in the town square. - A hanging. A hanging? 390 00:14:49,452 --> 00:14:52,162 A beating. A flogging. A... 391 00:14:52,163 --> 00:14:54,789 - forensic crucifixion. - Could we settle on a metaphor? 392 00:14:54,790 --> 00:14:57,459 It serves two purposes. One, spreads fear. Yum. 393 00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:59,210 - Two, it buries the lede about you and me. - Okay, sure. 394 00:14:59,211 --> 00:15:00,879 Because it would be very bad if people knew we were... 395 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,173 Yeah, it's all right. You can burn me. 396 00:15:03,174 --> 00:15:05,842 I'm a human sacrifice. I'm the Wicker Man! 397 00:15:05,843 --> 00:15:07,093 Wicker Dan! 398 00:15:07,094 --> 00:15:08,678 Is that shitty? Is that bad friending? 399 00:15:08,679 --> 00:15:10,181 (CLICKS TONGUE) Um... 400 00:15:11,057 --> 00:15:13,768 - (CHUCKLES) - Okay, look. 401 00:15:15,102 --> 00:15:16,770 I need something in return. 402 00:15:16,771 --> 00:15:19,356 Spread your fear, but I need to sprinkle some hope. 403 00:15:19,357 --> 00:15:22,233 Eric is demanding his Moss Men back. 404 00:15:22,234 --> 00:15:24,361 Hm. Can't do it, Daniel. Need to show strength. 405 00:15:24,362 --> 00:15:26,905 But I will grab you for the hanging. 406 00:15:26,906 --> 00:15:28,532 Yeah? Cool beans? 407 00:15:30,409 --> 00:15:33,662 - Yes. The coolest of beans. - ANITA: Hm. 408 00:15:34,997 --> 00:15:37,248 DANIEL: Very fucking uncool beans, Dag. 409 00:15:37,249 --> 00:15:39,251 I'm about to get hung out to dry. 410 00:15:39,919 --> 00:15:42,545 Peter, sir? Do me a favor. 411 00:15:42,546 --> 00:15:43,963 Um, can you go easy on Adam? 412 00:15:43,964 --> 00:15:46,758 Oh my God. Have I done something to upset him? 413 00:15:46,759 --> 00:15:49,177 Christ, what a mess. 414 00:15:49,178 --> 00:15:51,388 If there's anything I can do in terms of the call sheet? 415 00:15:51,389 --> 00:15:52,847 Call sheet? Please. 416 00:15:52,848 --> 00:15:55,058 Not on my account. I'm very low maintenance. 417 00:15:55,059 --> 00:15:59,479 Now get that through your thick fucking skull, Daniel. 418 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,564 Dan, new producer's asking if this could be a good time 419 00:16:01,565 --> 00:16:03,233 - to tear you a new one? - Um... 420 00:16:03,234 --> 00:16:05,068 Could she maybe not in front of the crewmen? 421 00:16:05,069 --> 00:16:07,529 Because they once saw me applying hand lotion. 422 00:16:07,530 --> 00:16:09,572 and, um, it didn't end well. 423 00:16:09,573 --> 00:16:11,241 ANITA: Okay, where's my first AD? 424 00:16:11,242 --> 00:16:12,742 DANIEL: Happening anyway. 425 00:16:12,743 --> 00:16:13,993 Hi, Daniel, nice to meet you. 426 00:16:13,994 --> 00:16:16,371 Uh, can I just ask why the fuck aren't we rolling? 427 00:16:16,372 --> 00:16:18,873 - DANIEL: Um... - ANITA: Oh, Eric! Maestro, come on over! 428 00:16:18,874 --> 00:16:20,917 I'm just trying to figure out why your first AD here 429 00:16:20,918 --> 00:16:22,085 is not taking care of you. 430 00:16:22,086 --> 00:16:24,546 Ah. (CLICKS TONGUE) Please go ahead. 431 00:16:24,547 --> 00:16:26,923 ANITA: So, your director is talking to the actors 432 00:16:26,924 --> 00:16:29,718 for 52 minutes on average before take one. 433 00:16:29,719 --> 00:16:32,262 - ERIC: Yes, I am. - ANITA: No disrespect to Eric, who we love, 434 00:16:32,263 --> 00:16:34,889 but you should not be allowing him to do that much talking. 435 00:16:34,890 --> 00:16:36,349 I need boundaries, Daniel. 436 00:16:36,350 --> 00:16:38,435 Boundaries so he can knock them down. 437 00:16:38,436 --> 00:16:40,437 - Thank you, Steph. - If this is a pile-on, I should dial Shane. 438 00:16:40,438 --> 00:16:42,939 Eleven setups per day, which he will ask for 439 00:16:42,940 --> 00:16:44,774 - because he's a visionary. - No, please. 440 00:16:44,775 --> 00:16:46,985 I'm sorry, but what the fuck are you thinking? 441 00:16:46,986 --> 00:16:48,903 BRYSON: Shane, hi. Shellacking the first AD. 442 00:16:48,904 --> 00:16:50,780 ANITA: You need to start running things, Daniel. 443 00:16:50,781 --> 00:16:53,742 It can feel a little sloppy here sometimes. 444 00:16:53,743 --> 00:16:55,118 DAG: It does sound like a lot of setups 445 00:16:55,119 --> 00:16:56,619 - when you hear it out loud. - DANIEL: Yeah, cheers, Dag. 446 00:16:56,620 --> 00:16:57,787 ANITA: What the fuck are you doing? 447 00:16:57,788 --> 00:16:59,789 BRYSON: Pat, sir? We're apportioning blame over here. 448 00:16:59,790 --> 00:17:01,207 DAG: Oh no, now the angry man's coming. 449 00:17:01,208 --> 00:17:03,168 Dinner and a show, don't mind if I do. 450 00:17:03,169 --> 00:17:06,463 - You fucked up, son, and now you gotta eat it. - PAT: Oh-ho-ho! 451 00:17:06,464 --> 00:17:09,174 ANITA: You need to be riding this man like a stallion. 452 00:17:09,175 --> 00:17:11,134 - Like a stallion. - DAG: Ride him like a stallion. 453 00:17:11,135 --> 00:17:12,385 But ride gently, okay? 454 00:17:12,386 --> 00:17:14,804 And when you beat him, carrot, not stick. 455 00:17:14,805 --> 00:17:16,848 - (FORCED LAUGH) - Hey, this isn't a witch hunt. 456 00:17:16,849 --> 00:17:18,641 Well, I want to know why it's not a witch hunt, 457 00:17:18,642 --> 00:17:20,226 - and who can we blame? - DANIEL: Funny. 458 00:17:20,227 --> 00:17:22,145 ANITA: But hey, big stunt today. 459 00:17:22,146 --> 00:17:23,188 Excited to see what you got. 460 00:17:23,189 --> 00:17:24,397 - Right, Pat? - PAT: That's right. 461 00:17:24,398 --> 00:17:26,609 Yeah. Tick-tock. Clock is ticking. 462 00:17:27,526 --> 00:17:29,152 BRYSON: Yes, sir. Daniel Kumar, first AD. 463 00:17:29,153 --> 00:17:31,238 Possible subject of a witch hunt. 464 00:17:32,031 --> 00:17:33,616 K-U-M-A-R. 465 00:17:37,453 --> 00:17:38,661 So sorry for weighing in. 466 00:17:38,662 --> 00:17:40,330 It was just a very infectious energy. 467 00:17:40,331 --> 00:17:41,539 Well, I'm glad you had fun. 468 00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:43,666 Now I just have to execute with everyone watching me 469 00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:46,169 or I could lose my job or someone might die. 470 00:17:46,170 --> 00:17:49,547 Okay, folks, game faces! Positions, positions, positions! 471 00:17:49,548 --> 00:17:51,841 - Keep saying positions. Show me. - Positions, positions. 472 00:17:51,842 --> 00:17:53,510 Heels up in three, two, one. 473 00:17:53,511 --> 00:17:55,345 - DAG: Positions. Positions. - DANIEL: Go. 474 00:17:55,346 --> 00:17:58,056 No. Shit. That has to work. Okay, two goes. 475 00:17:58,057 --> 00:18:00,183 Peter's spine can only do two more goes. 476 00:18:00,184 --> 00:18:02,685 Sam. Do me a favor. Peter's feeling quite frisky. 477 00:18:02,686 --> 00:18:04,145 Let's keep him on a tight leash. Thank you. 478 00:18:04,146 --> 00:18:05,522 Daniel, I found Jamie VFX. 479 00:18:05,523 --> 00:18:07,190 Jamie, pixel wizard, how are you holding up? 480 00:18:07,191 --> 00:18:08,358 I'm in the tunnel. 481 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:10,652 My wife said it's like I've been dead for three months. 482 00:18:10,653 --> 00:18:13,655 (LAUGHS) Yeah, listen. Can we VFX 80 Moss Men? 483 00:18:13,656 --> 00:18:15,365 Insanely expensive, it'll look shit, 484 00:18:15,366 --> 00:18:17,117 and the additional workload might actually kill me. 485 00:18:17,118 --> 00:18:18,201 But you could actually do it? 486 00:18:18,202 --> 00:18:19,661 - I mean-- - Yes! Thank you, Jamie. 487 00:18:19,662 --> 00:18:20,870 - JAZ: This way, Jamie. - DANIEL: Good to see you. 488 00:18:20,871 --> 00:18:22,414 Eric, VFX can tile your Moss Men, 489 00:18:22,415 --> 00:18:23,832 you'll get your crowd, pinky promise, 490 00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:25,083 - can we just shoot? - DAG: Positions, positions... 491 00:18:25,084 --> 00:18:27,210 Okay. Thank you! Positions, positions. 492 00:18:27,211 --> 00:18:29,421 - Almost ready, folks. - (FILM CREW CLAMORING) 493 00:18:29,422 --> 00:18:30,965 Almost ready. 494 00:18:35,094 --> 00:18:36,386 PETER: You go telling tales, 495 00:18:36,387 --> 00:18:38,388 and so I'm now the fucking petty one. 496 00:18:38,389 --> 00:18:39,597 (DANIEL CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY) 497 00:18:39,598 --> 00:18:41,266 PETER: Why are you jerking me back? 498 00:18:41,267 --> 00:18:42,559 What are you doing? 499 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:45,186 Just gonna go ten-one. Quick bathroom break. 500 00:18:45,187 --> 00:18:47,356 JAZ: Mollusk Man going ten-one behind a rock. 501 00:18:50,234 --> 00:18:52,319 Had a large coffee. Rookie error. 502 00:18:53,195 --> 00:18:55,865 No, that's working. Oh, fabulous. 503 00:18:57,033 --> 00:18:59,951 (GROANS) That is completely absorbed. 504 00:18:59,952 --> 00:19:02,120 Headphones. Who wants headphones? 505 00:19:02,121 --> 00:19:03,789 (CHUCKLES) I know I do. 506 00:19:04,582 --> 00:19:05,915 Lovely. Lovely. 507 00:19:05,916 --> 00:19:07,250 Dag, what the fuck are you doing? 508 00:19:07,251 --> 00:19:08,752 I'm using my initiative. 509 00:19:08,753 --> 00:19:10,962 Maybe if we can all hear, we'll all be better at our jobs. 510 00:19:10,963 --> 00:19:13,381 Okay. None of these people can have headphones, okay? 511 00:19:13,382 --> 00:19:14,966 It looks like I'm not in control of my fucking set. 512 00:19:14,967 --> 00:19:17,177 Sorry, folks. Dan said no headphones. 513 00:19:17,178 --> 00:19:19,429 I think maybe they're a symbol of authority. 514 00:19:19,430 --> 00:19:21,724 - Sorry, Mike. - Sorry, Mike. Not the bad guy. 515 00:19:22,808 --> 00:19:24,434 Positions! Can we just roll? 516 00:19:24,435 --> 00:19:26,603 Hey, Dan. Ready? Excited to see. 517 00:19:26,604 --> 00:19:28,772 DANIEL: Excited to see you seeing. 518 00:19:28,773 --> 00:19:31,150 - (BELL RINGING) - (FILM CREW CHATTERING) 519 00:19:32,318 --> 00:19:33,818 And action! 520 00:19:33,819 --> 00:19:36,864 ADAM: One second, Eric. I-- One second, I gotta sneeze. 521 00:19:38,366 --> 00:19:40,076 (SHUDDERS, EXHALES) 522 00:19:40,743 --> 00:19:42,078 Okay, it's gone. 523 00:19:43,204 --> 00:19:45,121 - Okay, I'm ready. - CREW: We're rolling! 524 00:19:45,122 --> 00:19:46,457 (EXHALES) 525 00:19:48,209 --> 00:19:50,668 Invisible. Jacking it. 526 00:19:50,669 --> 00:19:52,380 - (JACKHAMMER PROP KNOCKING) - There. 527 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,256 Got it. Got it. 528 00:19:55,132 --> 00:19:56,342 Okay, and... 529 00:19:58,594 --> 00:19:59,636 Action! 530 00:19:59,637 --> 00:20:01,305 - ♪ (HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ - (GRUNTS) 531 00:20:05,309 --> 00:20:06,602 DANIEL: Cue Moss Men. 532 00:20:08,646 --> 00:20:10,647 ADAM: It's hammer time! (SNEEZES) 533 00:20:10,648 --> 00:20:12,233 ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪ 534 00:20:13,526 --> 00:20:16,069 ADAM: Ah, shit. Sneezed. 535 00:20:16,070 --> 00:20:17,904 - Sorry, sorry. - And cut. 536 00:20:17,905 --> 00:20:19,989 ADAM: Fucking allergies. Fucking allergies. 537 00:20:19,990 --> 00:20:23,076 - Cut there, thank you. - (CREW CHATTERING) 538 00:20:23,077 --> 00:20:25,787 - (CLAPBOARD CLAPS) - ADAM: Er-- Eric, can we use any of that? 539 00:20:25,788 --> 00:20:26,913 Can we use any of that? 540 00:20:26,914 --> 00:20:30,291 ERIC: No, Adam. Your face was sneezy and unusable. 541 00:20:30,292 --> 00:20:34,046 PETER: Poor number one. Gosh! Maybe he's allergic to acting. 542 00:20:35,506 --> 00:20:37,466 BRYSON: Letting Shane know we still don't have the stunt. 543 00:20:38,217 --> 00:20:40,344 - Okay, thank you. - Thank you. 544 00:20:41,053 --> 00:20:42,512 Not a good look, Dan. 545 00:20:42,513 --> 00:20:44,181 Maybe I should ream you out again? 546 00:20:45,224 --> 00:20:47,851 Anita, look, if I could speak freely? 547 00:20:47,852 --> 00:20:49,102 - Friend level. - Yeah. 548 00:20:49,103 --> 00:20:50,812 DANIEL: If you want to turn this movie around, 549 00:20:50,813 --> 00:20:53,023 stop shouting. Focus on the creative. 550 00:20:53,024 --> 00:20:54,816 The studio has lost its way. 551 00:20:54,817 --> 00:20:57,027 These movies are not hitting the way they used to. 552 00:20:57,028 --> 00:20:58,570 And I need your help. 553 00:20:58,571 --> 00:21:00,780 Yeah, well, Shane's pulled in all directions, 554 00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:02,532 like an octopus at a square dance. 555 00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:04,242 DANIEL: Exactly. The Invisible Jackhammer 556 00:21:04,243 --> 00:21:06,453 is the perfect example. I hated it in the comics. 557 00:21:06,454 --> 00:21:08,538 I hated it in the cartoons. It's totally ludicrous. 558 00:21:08,539 --> 00:21:10,081 What is it even made of? 559 00:21:10,082 --> 00:21:12,042 Oh, we've got a science advisor from MIT, 560 00:21:12,043 --> 00:21:13,376 but we broke his spirit 561 00:21:13,377 --> 00:21:14,919 and now he just nods everything through. 562 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,047 If Shane had the headspace, if he was on it, 563 00:21:17,048 --> 00:21:19,007 if he was here, he'd say this is fucking dumb 564 00:21:19,008 --> 00:21:21,092 and we should cut it. Lose it from the movie. 565 00:21:21,093 --> 00:21:23,553 He needs boots on the ground. He needs us. 566 00:21:23,554 --> 00:21:25,430 I can call him. Direct report. 567 00:21:25,431 --> 00:21:27,057 I can talk to Shane whenever I want. 568 00:21:27,058 --> 00:21:28,600 Yes, that would be amazing. 569 00:21:28,601 --> 00:21:32,437 - Just yank the emergency cord. - Yank that fucking puppy. 570 00:21:32,438 --> 00:21:34,481 - Save the movie. - Save the day. 571 00:21:34,482 --> 00:21:35,941 DANIEL: Save the universe. 572 00:21:37,443 --> 00:21:39,944 We should, uh, loop in Eric, though. 573 00:21:39,945 --> 00:21:41,321 - Eric? - Eric. 574 00:21:41,322 --> 00:21:43,573 - Oh, Eric. Director Eric. Yes. - Yeah. 575 00:21:43,574 --> 00:21:44,741 Eric! 576 00:21:44,742 --> 00:21:46,034 ERIC: Fuck the Jackhammer. 577 00:21:46,035 --> 00:21:47,744 It was an albatross from the start. 578 00:21:47,745 --> 00:21:49,412 A giant invisible sea bird. 579 00:21:49,413 --> 00:21:52,999 STEPH: It is not now, nor shall it ever be, hammer time. 580 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,627 Hey, Anita. Heard you were hoping to connect with Shane. 581 00:21:55,628 --> 00:21:57,587 Thank you, Bryson. I'd like to speak with him direct. 582 00:21:57,588 --> 00:21:58,881 Okay. 583 00:21:59,632 --> 00:22:02,217 Hey, Shane. Shane? 584 00:22:02,218 --> 00:22:03,802 BRYSON: (OVER PHONE) Hello, Anita. This is Bryson. 585 00:22:03,803 --> 00:22:05,095 Shane is not available, 586 00:22:05,096 --> 00:22:07,764 but Pat would like to see you on C stage. 587 00:22:07,765 --> 00:22:09,767 Thank you, of course. That'd be a delight. 588 00:22:10,893 --> 00:22:13,728 DANIEL: Okay, signal me if you need backup. I'm here. 589 00:22:13,729 --> 00:22:15,271 - (PIGEONS COOING) - ANITA: Pat. 590 00:22:15,272 --> 00:22:17,440 PAT: New soundstages for Centurios 2, 591 00:22:17,441 --> 00:22:18,608 our summer tentpole, 592 00:22:18,609 --> 00:22:20,819 and we have an infestation of fucking pigeons. 593 00:22:20,820 --> 00:22:22,487 Lasers. Just to scare them. 594 00:22:22,488 --> 00:22:25,490 We can't laser the birds in half, nor do we wish to. 595 00:22:25,491 --> 00:22:28,201 - (CLEARS THROAT) Three o'clock, fire. - (WINGS FLAPPING) 596 00:22:28,202 --> 00:22:30,078 - ANITA: Pat. Pat, here. Um... - PAT: What? 597 00:22:30,079 --> 00:22:32,789 Do you think I might be able to talk to Shane direct? 598 00:22:32,790 --> 00:22:34,833 It's about the Invisible Jackhammer. 599 00:22:34,834 --> 00:22:37,252 Shane's just made the incredibly painful decision 600 00:22:37,253 --> 00:22:40,255 - to mothball The Sister Squad. - PAT: Production was in chaos. 601 00:22:40,256 --> 00:22:42,716 Writers were being hired to do pre-writes on rewrites 602 00:22:42,717 --> 00:22:44,968 - that hadn't even come in yet. - It's canned? The whole movie? 603 00:22:44,969 --> 00:22:46,678 It's like when you have a beautiful dog, 604 00:22:46,679 --> 00:22:49,347 but you have to smash its head in with a hammer due to, uh... 605 00:22:49,348 --> 00:22:52,100 - Circumstances? - PAT: Exactly, circumstances. 606 00:22:52,101 --> 00:22:55,311 Strategic pivot from way, way upstairs. 607 00:22:55,312 --> 00:22:57,439 Fewer releases. 608 00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,357 Seems we gave the fans too much content, 609 00:22:59,358 --> 00:23:01,276 they choked on it. (CHUCKLES) 610 00:23:01,277 --> 00:23:03,153 BRYSON: Hey, Todd, let's aim for the eyes. 611 00:23:03,154 --> 00:23:04,988 We really need to send a message here. 612 00:23:04,989 --> 00:23:07,032 - ANITA: But I'm okay, right? - (WINGS FLAPPING) 613 00:23:07,033 --> 00:23:09,159 ANITA: I mean, you know, in terms of my position? 614 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:10,994 Well, Anita, you should probably know 615 00:23:10,995 --> 00:23:13,622 Shane's never been a hundred percent on Tecto. 616 00:23:14,206 --> 00:23:15,165 Excuse me? 617 00:23:15,166 --> 00:23:17,167 Yeah, he got addicted to announcing stuff. 618 00:23:17,168 --> 00:23:18,877 He went on a hot streak at Comic-Con 619 00:23:18,878 --> 00:23:20,378 and nobody told him no. 620 00:23:20,379 --> 00:23:21,713 - Now, here you are. - ANITA: But, wait-- 621 00:23:21,714 --> 00:23:24,424 Todd? Super important that we get this cleared. If I may? 622 00:23:24,425 --> 00:23:27,677 ANITA: This is on Deadline, okay? My name is attached. 623 00:23:27,678 --> 00:23:30,722 I turned down Sofia fucking Coppola to be here. 624 00:23:30,723 --> 00:23:34,684 PAT: Okay. But then we offered you a salary you couldn't refuse. You know? 625 00:23:34,685 --> 00:23:36,561 Listen to me. Look at me. Look at me. 626 00:23:36,562 --> 00:23:38,688 We have the utmost confidence in you. 627 00:23:38,689 --> 00:23:41,566 Your movie will be released, okay? 628 00:23:41,567 --> 00:23:43,234 If it's a fucking disaster, 629 00:23:43,235 --> 00:23:44,944 and I strongly feel it will not be, 630 00:23:44,945 --> 00:23:48,031 I want to tell you, on my honor as a Hollywood producer, 631 00:23:48,032 --> 00:23:50,951 there's no way we'd pin this on you, okay? No way. 632 00:23:51,994 --> 00:23:54,079 Not how I operate. 633 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:56,539 - Incredibly reassuring, Pat. - PAT: Glad to hear it. 634 00:23:56,540 --> 00:23:57,665 (WINGS FLAPPING) 635 00:23:57,666 --> 00:23:59,793 - PAT: Thanks, Anita. - ANITA: Thanks, Pat. 636 00:23:59,794 --> 00:24:02,712 BRYSON: Boom. That is a direct and humane hit. 637 00:24:02,713 --> 00:24:04,381 - PAT: Nice. - BRYSON: (GASPS) The nest. 638 00:24:04,382 --> 00:24:06,800 PAT: Bryson, light it up. Blind those fucking birdies. 639 00:24:06,801 --> 00:24:08,803 - So, can we lose the Jackhammer? - The what? 640 00:24:09,345 --> 00:24:10,596 ADAM: It's hammer time! 641 00:24:13,265 --> 00:24:15,392 Whoo! We got it! 642 00:24:15,393 --> 00:24:16,893 - ERIC: Cut! - ADAM: Fuck you, Ipsen! 643 00:24:16,894 --> 00:24:19,479 - Actually, once the CG is in... - Yeah, I was gonna say, once it's graded... 644 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,398 - ...and you're in the story... - ...and you've got all the sound effects... 645 00:24:21,399 --> 00:24:24,401 - ...and you'll have the color correct, and... - ...and all the VFX, and... 646 00:24:24,402 --> 00:24:25,736 Yeah, I don't mind it. 647 00:24:28,155 --> 00:24:30,073 - Okay. Happiness, Eric? - Happiness. 648 00:24:30,074 --> 00:24:31,408 - Happiness. - Happiness. 649 00:24:31,409 --> 00:24:32,909 Pending Shane's happiness. 650 00:24:32,910 --> 00:24:34,119 Still couldn't hear. 651 00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,788 Okay, everyone, we are moving on. 652 00:24:36,789 --> 00:24:40,292 (FILM CREW CHATTERING) 653 00:24:46,173 --> 00:24:50,343 Imagine plummeting to our deaths. Big news story. 654 00:24:50,344 --> 00:24:52,847 Then we'd see whose fucking name comes first. 655 00:24:54,765 --> 00:24:56,182 Guys! 656 00:24:56,183 --> 00:24:58,728 Can we go down? My balls are... I can't feel my balls. 657 00:24:59,353 --> 00:25:00,563 I can't feel my balls. 658 00:25:01,939 --> 00:25:05,026 ♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 659 00:25:09,947 --> 00:25:12,115 ANITA: Well, it's done now. Onwards. 660 00:25:12,116 --> 00:25:14,617 I just want this to be a good film. 661 00:25:14,618 --> 00:25:17,037 Smart people working hard. 662 00:25:17,038 --> 00:25:20,915 - Yeah, I think we all want that. - But like a really good one. 663 00:25:20,916 --> 00:25:23,252 Because when you make movies like this, but good, 664 00:25:23,919 --> 00:25:25,795 there's nothing better. 665 00:25:25,796 --> 00:25:27,715 Plus, decent gig. Baby needs shoes. 666 00:25:28,966 --> 00:25:29,967 Are we good? 667 00:25:31,052 --> 00:25:33,595 (CLICKS TONGUE) Dan, as your producer, we are great. 668 00:25:33,596 --> 00:25:35,056 We are in great shape. 669 00:25:35,890 --> 00:25:37,641 - DANIEL: Okay. - As your friend, 670 00:25:38,017 --> 00:25:39,809 Rome is burning. 671 00:25:39,810 --> 00:25:42,270 Walls are tumbling down and careers are being destroyed. 672 00:25:42,271 --> 00:25:44,773 Daniel, if you care too much about this job it will kill you. 673 00:25:44,774 --> 00:25:48,318 We are not at war... but we're at war. 674 00:25:48,319 --> 00:25:50,571 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 675 00:25:51,614 --> 00:25:54,324 (LAUGHS) Fucking with you. 676 00:25:54,325 --> 00:25:56,202 Yeah. Everything's great. 677 00:25:57,244 --> 00:26:00,288 Nothing to worry about. Night, Dan. 678 00:26:00,289 --> 00:26:03,376 JAZ: Mollusk Man traveling. Can someone de-rig his diaper? Over. 679 00:26:05,753 --> 00:26:08,588 Ooh, well, that's a wrappy on the nappy. 680 00:26:08,589 --> 00:26:11,258 "I am big. It's the nappies that got small." 681 00:26:13,010 --> 00:26:15,345 Actually, I've got quite a long car journey home. 682 00:26:15,346 --> 00:26:16,555 I'll just leave it on. 683 00:26:19,558 --> 00:26:24,563 ♪ (TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 684 00:26:25,856 --> 00:26:27,732 INTERVIEWER: What's it like working with Adam? 685 00:26:27,733 --> 00:26:29,235 (CHUCKLES) Adam? 686 00:26:30,569 --> 00:26:35,657 Adam, he's instinctual, like a bear or a hog. 687 00:26:35,658 --> 00:26:37,701 And I say this with, you know, respect. 688 00:26:37,702 --> 00:26:39,536 It's like working with a chimpanzee, 689 00:26:39,537 --> 00:26:42,914 which I've done twice, actually, once with tragic consequences. 690 00:26:42,915 --> 00:26:45,375 Awful story. Bong-Bong was his name. 691 00:26:45,376 --> 00:26:47,043 They caught him one day stealing donuts 692 00:26:47,044 --> 00:26:49,379 from the craft services, which one must never do. 693 00:26:49,380 --> 00:26:51,715 And so his owner, in an attempt to chide him, 694 00:26:51,716 --> 00:26:54,384 ended up beating him to death with an axe handle. 695 00:26:54,385 --> 00:26:56,886 Terrible, terrible, and very messy. 696 00:26:56,887 --> 00:26:58,972 Obviously, there was no chance of the chimp doing any press 697 00:26:58,973 --> 00:27:00,807 or publicity to promote the movie after that. 698 00:27:00,808 --> 00:27:02,392 How could he? He was dead. 699 00:27:02,393 --> 00:27:05,895 So in the end, they brought in a second chimp to do Carson. 700 00:27:05,896 --> 00:27:08,606 Rum-Tum, I think it was. 701 00:27:08,607 --> 00:27:10,108 Anyway, the whole press campaign 702 00:27:10,109 --> 00:27:12,068 was a bit of a washout after that. 703 00:27:12,069 --> 00:27:13,403 I often think that's why 704 00:27:13,404 --> 00:27:15,447 the movie never found an audience. 705 00:27:15,448 --> 00:27:17,907 Screenplay was terrific. 706 00:27:17,908 --> 00:27:20,410 "Do You Take This Chimp?," it was called. 707 00:27:20,411 --> 00:27:23,622 David Mamet did an uncredited polish. 708 00:27:24,498 --> 00:27:26,416 Bong-Bong. 709 00:27:26,417 --> 00:27:31,463 Oh, I haven't thought about poor little bugger for 30 years. 710 00:27:31,464 --> 00:27:33,758 (SIGHS) Oh... 711 00:27:35,009 --> 00:27:36,719 Or David Mamet, for that matter. 712 00:27:37,762 --> 00:27:40,431 ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 54708

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