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1
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(creaking)
2
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:09,096
(crackling)
3
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:16,016
(uneasy music)
4
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:30,378
(suspenseful music)
5
00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:38,734
(male voice echoing)
Step right up.
6
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:52,922
(clock ticking)
7
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,497
(door creaks)
8
00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:03,933
(footsteps approaching)
9
00:01:07,589 --> 00:01:10,505
(door creaking)
10
00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:30,829
(clock ticking)
11
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,096
(ominous music)
12
00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:45,975
(woman over phone) Alana,
I know that you're scared.
13
00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:50,153
You're probably thinking,
"Why is God doing this to me?
14
00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,851
What did I do to deserve this?"
15
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:57,987
And, you know,
sometimes God challenges us
16
00:01:58,161 --> 00:02:00,468
to bring us to our highest self.
17
00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:04,211
We just want you to know
that we love you so much.
18
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,823
We love you so much, Jellybean.
19
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,565
And we can't wait
to get our daughter back.
20
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:12,828
(sobbing)
21
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:15,309
(ominous music)
22
00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:25,884
(sobbing)
23
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:31,151
(clock ticking)
24
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:54,416
(Alana sobbing) I break myself from
every spirit of sexual perversion
25
00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:56,263
in the name of Jesus.
26
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:59,135
I release myself
from every spiritual pollution
27
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:01,442
emanating from my past sins
of fornication
28
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:04,227
and sexual immorality
in Jesus's name.
29
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:08,579
I release myself from every ancestral
pollution in the name of Jesus.
30
00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:13,062
I release myself from every dream's
pollution in the name of Jesus.
31
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:16,500
Every spirit of sexual perversion
working against my life,
32
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:19,286
be paralyzed,
and get out of my life!
33
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:22,854
Every demon of sexual
perversion assigned to my life,
34
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:25,683
be bound in the name of Jesus!
35
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:29,078
Oh, Lord, let the fire
of sexual perversion
36
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:33,038
oppressing my life
receive the fire of God!
37
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,216
(continues sobbing)
38
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:42,700
In the name,
in the name of Jesus.
39
00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,184
(man)
So, why don't we, uh...
40
00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:51,405
- Do you want to be Pat or Trick?
- (boy) Huh?
41
00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:53,711
(man)
We're both named Patrick.
42
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:57,019
So I was thinking I could be Pat
and you could be Trick.
43
00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:58,847
Does that sound okay to you?
44
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:01,893
(clock ticking)
45
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,985
(Pat sips, gulps)
46
00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:29,181
(inhales)
47
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:35,057
Patrick Sherman,
October 22nd, 9:59 a.m.
48
00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:42,369
First interview
with Patrick Ableman.
49
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,939
Okay, Trick...
50
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:50,725
how are you feeling?
51
00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:53,510
Fine.
52
00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:57,514
How are you feeling?
53
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:09,134
I can do this all on my own, but it'll
go much faster if you help me out.
54
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,313
So, how are you feeling?
55
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:15,880
Nervous.
56
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:17,490
Hey.
57
00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:18,927
Progress.
58
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,408
No need to be nervous.
59
00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:23,105
How do you know my parents?
60
00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,194
(snickers) I don't.
61
00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:27,022
Not socially.
62
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:31,331
They called me because I have
some experience in this area.
63
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:33,681
Fixing people?
64
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,816
I don't think
you need fixing, Trick.
65
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:43,125
I think you were fine
just the way you are.
66
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:52,917
Look... (sighs)
if you don't want to be here,
67
00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:55,113
you just say the word, and
I'll take you home right now.
68
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:57,574
Okay, I would like
to go home now, please.
69
00:05:57,748 --> 00:06:01,404
But I think you should know that
your parents are really concerned.
70
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,754
- And if you continue acting out...
- Right.
71
00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:06,235
- I'm sure I don't have to tell you...
- No.
72
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:08,193
That I am the nice version
of this.
73
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,370
- I get that.
- Yeah.
74
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,981
(breath trembles)
75
00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:15,462
Okay.
76
00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:17,855
Okay.
77
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:21,990
Just one question.
78
00:06:23,774 --> 00:06:25,080
Are you happy?
79
00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:27,864
No.
80
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,566
Why is that?
81
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,709
(sighs) Your mom says
a lot of your friends are girls.
82
00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:50,148
I guess.
83
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,587
Do you think
that's healthy for a young man?
84
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,025
I don't know.
85
00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:00,245
They're nice to me.
86
00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,031
Sure.
87
00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:05,686
Life isn't always about
doing what's easy, Trick.
88
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:14,042
Your parents love you so much.
89
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:16,697
They just want you to be happy.
90
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:20,831
Don't you want that too?
91
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:24,052
I want to be happy.
92
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:25,662
Yeah, and to be
part of a family.
93
00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:27,621
(sobs) Yeah.
94
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:29,797
- And the community of the church.
-(sobs)
95
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,236
You know, um, I talked to
everybody over there...
96
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:39,894
and you are just
the absolute golden boy.
97
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:42,287
(chuckles) Everybody loves you.
98
00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:50,382
And love in this world
is precious.
99
00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:52,776
It is limited.
100
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,041
You cannot waste it.
101
00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:02,830
I have seen some people
walk the road you're walking,
102
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:06,921
and... there's not
a lot of love there.
103
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:12,361
(tuts)
104
00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:21,109
If there were a pill
that could magically fix this,
105
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:23,154
would you take it?
106
00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:28,159
There isn't.
107
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:31,641
But if there was, wouldn't it
make things easier? (snickers)
108
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:34,078
But there isn't.
109
00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:36,341
Being gay
is a lonely life, Trick.
110
00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:39,997
My heart goes out
to young homosexuals everywhere.
111
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:43,653
The violence and the bullying
that they experience
112
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,873
is inexcusable.
113
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:48,876
But it is avoidable.
114
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,531
You're what, 17?
115
00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:56,623
Scientifically speaking,
your sexuality hasn't set yet.
116
00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:58,146
You're still developing.
117
00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:04,500
And that is good news
if you want a normal life.
118
00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:07,242
And not just a normal life.
119
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:15,598
Look, I'm not a big hell kind of
guy, but, you know, gay folk...
120
00:09:16,904 --> 00:09:19,036
they just don't go to heaven.
They just don't.
121
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,473
Leviticus. Genesis.
122
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:23,432
Can I have my phone back now?
123
00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:27,478
(scoffs)
124
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,351
Well...
125
00:09:30,961 --> 00:09:31,961
Okay.
126
00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:34,486
Okay.
127
00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:40,797
You're lucky
I'm such a nice guy. (chuckles)
128
00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:42,973
(pensive music)
129
00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:25,755
(muted)
130
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:03,793
(birds chirping)
131
00:11:12,236 --> 00:11:14,586
And done.
132
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:17,372
Amazing job, dude. High five.
133
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,853
(Trick panting)
134
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,638
Oh, okay. Here's what you do.
135
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,249
Stand up straight.
Hands behind your head.
136
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:27,861
Really open up your lungs.
137
00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,514
(Trick panting)
138
00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:32,866
You'll recover faster.
139
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,652
(Trick exhales)
140
00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:38,480
Learned that playing D1 at Yale.
141
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,309
(Trick playing guitar)
142
00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:51,711
(Trick)
♪ What a fellowship ♪
143
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:56,106
♪ What a joy divine ♪
144
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,066
♪ Leaning on ♪
145
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:05,289
♪ The everlasting arms ♪
146
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:10,425
♪ What a blessedness ♪
147
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:14,559
♪ What a peace is mine ♪
148
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:17,911
♪ Leaning on ♪
149
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:24,961
♪ The everlasting arms ♪
150
00:12:25,135 --> 00:12:27,007
(water running)
151
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:31,489
♪ Leaning, leaning ♪
152
00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:33,535
♪ Leaning... ♪
153
00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:35,624
(Pat) ♪ Leaning on
the everlasting arms ♪
154
00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:38,932
♪ Safe and secure... ♪
155
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:42,674
(Trick continues indistinctly)
156
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,851
(insects chirping)
157
00:12:54,817 --> 00:13:01,302
♪ Oh, how sweet to walk
in this pilgrim way ♪
158
00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:06,916
♪ Leaning on
the everlasting arms ♪
159
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:13,488
♪ Oh, how bright the path
grows from day to day ♪
160
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:18,710
♪ Leaning on
the everlasting arms ♪
161
00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:21,191
♪ Leaning ♪
162
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,767
♪ Leaning ♪
163
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:37,817
♪ Safe and secure
from all alarms ♪
164
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:46,434
♪ Leaning on
the everlasting arms ♪
165
00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:51,613
♪ Leaning, leaning ♪
166
00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:55,965
♪ Safe and secure from... ♪
167
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,093
(ominous music)
168
00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:15,697
(sighs) Today, we're going
to talk about honesty.
169
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:22,356
You remember I asked you
if you had any sexual encounters
170
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:25,620
with other boys,
and you said no.
171
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:33,497
Were you telling the truth?
172
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:48,643
"I want to take your cock down
my throat until I can't breathe."
173
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:51,820
"Daddy."
174
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:55,171
It's not a big deal.
175
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,958
Okay, cool. I'll just send
these to your mom, then.
176
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:03,092
Relax. I'm not going to do that.
We have confidentiality here.
177
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,269
What do you want me to do?
178
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:12,101
I want you to say
as honestly as you can...
179
00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:14,843
that you are lost.
180
00:16:19,369 --> 00:16:20,457
I'm lost.
181
00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:23,155
Again.
182
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,289
I'm lost.
183
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,163
Say that you don't
know yourself.
184
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:32,208
I don't know myself.
185
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:33,818
Say that you're a liar.
186
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:36,299
I'm a liar.
187
00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:37,692
Who'd you lie to?
188
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:39,955
I lied to you.
189
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:41,609
Yeah. Who else?
190
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,046
Myself.
191
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,442
Why did you lie?
192
00:16:48,616 --> 00:16:49,834
I don't know.
193
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:54,274
You lied because you were trying
to justify your sin.
194
00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:59,018
- (tearfully) Okay.
- Say it.
195
00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:04,327
I lied to justify my sin.
(breath trembling)
196
00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:06,025
What did you do?
197
00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:10,116
(crying) I told Derek
I wanted to suck his penis.
198
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:13,336
- Say you need help.
- (crying) I need help.
199
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,077
There you go.
Beg me to help you.
200
00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:17,297
- (crying)
- On your knees!
201
00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:25,957
(serene music)
202
00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:04,692
Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
203
00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:06,520
(panting) Stop.
204
00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:10,393
I need to stop.
205
00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:14,919
We're still a good mile short.
206
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:18,314
I can't carry this anymore.
207
00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:21,665
(panting)
208
00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,379
Why am I making you do this?
209
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,645
Because the weight of the rocks
210
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,995
is like the weight
of a life of sin.
211
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:52,957
And that weight
doesn't get any lighter,
212
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:55,134
does it?
213
00:18:57,962 --> 00:18:59,703
In fact... (clears throat)
214
00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:03,751
oh, boy, it gets heavier.
215
00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:10,540
(Pat grunts)
216
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:23,771
- (ominous music)
- (thunder rumbling)
217
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:27,775
(pen rasping)
218
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:39,178
(ominous music)
219
00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:45,749
(voices whispering indistinctly)
220
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,874
(ominous music)
221
00:20:41,414 --> 00:20:42,850
(somber music)
222
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:44,243
(Pat)
Mm-mm.
223
00:20:58,126 --> 00:20:59,519
There are pages ripped out.
224
00:21:08,571 --> 00:21:10,573
(clock ticking)
225
00:21:30,811 --> 00:21:33,683
Come on, bud,
I'm starving here. (sighs)
226
00:21:38,471 --> 00:21:40,821
All right, that, that's enough.
That's enough.
227
00:21:56,053 --> 00:21:57,403
- You know...
- What?
228
00:21:58,229 --> 00:22:02,103
You know, there are many churches
that just don't care anymore.
229
00:22:04,018 --> 00:22:05,454
There are gay pastors.
230
00:22:08,152 --> 00:22:09,552
Do you think
we should be like that?
231
00:22:12,722 --> 00:22:13,810
Maybe.
232
00:22:15,029 --> 00:22:18,598
Sure, we could... (swallows)
233
00:22:18,772 --> 00:22:19,990
make concessions.
234
00:22:21,122 --> 00:22:24,778
A lot more people into the
whole Joel Osteen thing.
235
00:22:25,779 --> 00:22:28,042
Hey, we could
put in carnival rides.
236
00:22:28,999 --> 00:22:30,349
That's not what I'm saying.
237
00:22:35,092 --> 00:22:38,444
I know how badly you want to be
accepted for who you think you are.
238
00:22:38,922 --> 00:22:40,576
And nothing
would make me happier
239
00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:42,361
than to throw open
the doors and say,
240
00:22:42,535 --> 00:22:46,277
"Come on in, be gay, whatever."
241
00:22:47,235 --> 00:22:50,194
But every concession
to the outside world
242
00:22:50,804 --> 00:22:53,894
costs a little bit of our souls.
243
00:22:54,068 --> 00:22:56,157
Makes us a little less distinct.
244
00:22:57,854 --> 00:23:00,204
Makes it mean less
to be one of us.
245
00:23:01,989 --> 00:23:05,601
And the easiest concessions
cost most of all.
246
00:23:08,343 --> 00:23:10,301
But why is it wrong?
247
00:23:12,478 --> 00:23:13,827
It's in the book.
248
00:23:15,568 --> 00:23:19,049
- Well, why does the book say it's wrong?
- I don't know, bud.
249
00:23:23,532 --> 00:23:24,794
I don't need to know.
250
00:23:34,891 --> 00:23:36,632
(clock ticking)
251
00:23:43,857 --> 00:23:46,033
(rustling)
252
00:23:53,780 --> 00:23:55,651
(suspenseful music)
253
00:23:55,825 --> 00:23:59,220
(door opens and closes)
254
00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:21,721
(door opens and closes)
255
00:24:27,335 --> 00:24:29,337
(suspenseful music)
256
00:24:51,968 --> 00:24:53,753
(breath trembling)
257
00:24:56,799 --> 00:24:57,844
(Alana sniffles)
258
00:24:58,932 --> 00:25:00,542
(breath trembling)
259
00:25:00,716 --> 00:25:01,804
(sniffles)
260
00:25:04,677 --> 00:25:06,156
Do you know what this is?
261
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,988
Does this look
like Tylenol to you?
262
00:25:14,251 --> 00:25:15,949
(sighs, gulps)
263
00:25:18,168 --> 00:25:19,822
(sniffling) Forty-four...
264
00:25:22,042 --> 00:25:24,218
(crying)
265
00:25:24,392 --> 00:25:25,436
forty-five...
266
00:25:26,133 --> 00:25:27,264
(gulps)
267
00:25:30,398 --> 00:25:31,486
Forty-six.
268
00:25:32,095 --> 00:25:34,794
- (suspenseful music)
- (Trick gasping)
269
00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:41,757
That was really stupid.
270
00:25:43,803 --> 00:25:45,935
(sighs)
Where were you even going to go?
271
00:25:46,109 --> 00:25:47,109
(locks door)
272
00:25:49,417 --> 00:25:50,418
Huh?
273
00:25:53,769 --> 00:25:55,728
And what am I
going to tell your parents?
274
00:25:58,992 --> 00:26:00,994
- Tell them what you want...
- Hey!
275
00:26:02,125 --> 00:26:04,998
That attitude doesn't cut
any fucking ice with me, okay?
276
00:26:08,697 --> 00:26:10,699
(somber music)
277
00:26:15,748 --> 00:26:17,184
(strumming)
278
00:26:37,944 --> 00:26:39,859
(leaves rustling, crunching)
279
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,704
"I'm so scared of hell."
280
00:27:44,793 --> 00:27:46,360
The only reason
I don't kill myself
281
00:27:46,534 --> 00:27:48,318
"is because
I'm so scared of hell."
282
00:27:55,195 --> 00:27:56,718
(inhales deeply)
283
00:28:01,331 --> 00:28:02,681
Do you think I'm an idiot?
284
00:28:04,117 --> 00:28:05,596
- (sucks teeth)
- No.
285
00:28:07,381 --> 00:28:09,688
So, what, I find these pages
conveniently sticking,
286
00:28:10,645 --> 00:28:12,473
sticking out
from under a rock...
287
00:28:14,257 --> 00:28:16,129
and I rush you home.
That was the plan?
288
00:28:17,304 --> 00:28:19,262
- There was no plan.
- Bullshit!
289
00:28:32,319 --> 00:28:33,319
Get up.
290
00:28:34,930 --> 00:28:38,325
-(Trick grunting) -(Pat) Men do not
use cheap schemes or manipulation.
291
00:28:38,499 --> 00:28:40,457
- Men fight. Come on.
- (Trick grunting)
292
00:28:40,631 --> 00:28:42,329
Combat. Survival.
293
00:28:42,503 --> 00:28:44,505
- Tap into it. Come on, Trick!
- (groans)
294
00:28:44,679 --> 00:28:46,550
We're in the arena.
Here come the lions!
295
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:48,727
(Trick panting)
296
00:28:55,951 --> 00:28:59,172
(clears throat) Man, those lions
would eat you up real quick, huh?
297
00:29:02,175 --> 00:29:03,654
What's wrong with you?
298
00:29:05,613 --> 00:29:06,657
Nothing.
299
00:29:08,007 --> 00:29:09,225
Do you like this?
300
00:29:11,010 --> 00:29:12,751
Do you like hurting people?
301
00:29:15,492 --> 00:29:19,105
If Jesus were alive,
he would never forgive you.
302
00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:23,849
Trick...
303
00:29:25,285 --> 00:29:28,244
- I have not lied to you...
- (breathing heavily)
304
00:29:28,418 --> 00:29:31,204
nor misrepresented
my faith once.
305
00:29:32,335 --> 00:29:33,467
Not once.
306
00:29:36,165 --> 00:29:39,516
I am here
because I genuinely believe
307
00:29:39,690 --> 00:29:43,042
that I am saving your soul
from an eternity of torment.
308
00:29:45,609 --> 00:29:48,177
I really believe that, okay?
I promise.
309
00:29:54,967 --> 00:29:56,620
Now, I think
you owe me an apology.
310
00:30:03,410 --> 00:30:06,630
Trick... apologize.
311
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,242
(Trick shudders)
312
00:30:12,245 --> 00:30:13,333
Stand up.
313
00:30:16,423 --> 00:30:18,381
(sighs)
Maybe you don't need therapy.
314
00:30:18,555 --> 00:30:20,688
Maybe you need
some outside stimulus.
315
00:30:24,605 --> 00:30:26,409
-(Trick grunts softly) - What
are you going to do about it?
316
00:30:26,433 --> 00:30:27,608
- Stop.
- Come on.
317
00:30:27,782 --> 00:30:29,142
- Stop.
- What are you going to do?
318
00:30:29,175 --> 00:30:30,654
- Stop.
- I'm not hitting you.
319
00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:32,482
We're fighting.
Come on. Come on!
320
00:30:33,614 --> 00:30:35,534
What are you going to do about it?
Come on, Trick!
321
00:30:35,572 --> 00:30:37,139
- S...
- Come on!
322
00:30:39,620 --> 00:30:40,620
(exhales)
323
00:30:44,233 --> 00:30:45,321
Where's your fight?
324
00:30:46,540 --> 00:30:48,237
- Come on.
- Go ahead.
325
00:30:50,413 --> 00:30:51,806
Do whatever you want.
326
00:30:57,333 --> 00:30:58,378
(Trick thuds)
327
00:31:04,558 --> 00:31:06,516
What am I going to do
with you, Patrick?
328
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:08,866
(sighs)
329
00:31:12,522 --> 00:31:15,525
(somber music)
330
00:31:50,821 --> 00:31:52,432
(Pat)
I just don't know what to do.
331
00:31:52,606 --> 00:31:54,434
He's fighting me on everything.
332
00:31:55,304 --> 00:31:58,220
(man over phone)
Have you tried aversion?
333
00:32:00,744 --> 00:32:05,488
(Pat) I thought we weren't, uh...
allowed to do that anymore.
334
00:32:06,881 --> 00:32:09,231
(man)
Well, I guess that's true,
335
00:32:09,405 --> 00:32:13,105
but...(chuckles) ...we are
on a razor's edge out here.
336
00:32:14,062 --> 00:32:16,499
If this goes south, I don't
think you're gonna have a job.
337
00:32:17,761 --> 00:32:20,808
But, you know,
do what you think is right.
338
00:32:42,438 --> 00:32:43,570
(tape rips)
339
00:32:56,235 --> 00:32:57,323
(Pat)
Where have you been?
340
00:33:04,286 --> 00:33:05,374
(Trick hesitates)
Nowhere.
341
00:33:11,554 --> 00:33:12,554
Okay.
342
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:18,561
Well...
343
00:33:22,087 --> 00:33:24,089
I know I've been
a little hard on you lately.
344
00:33:25,090 --> 00:33:26,961
I figured you deserve
something special.
345
00:33:35,491 --> 00:33:38,016
So, uh, tell me something.
346
00:33:39,669 --> 00:33:40,669
(Trick)
Hm.
347
00:33:41,802 --> 00:33:43,978
Something different.
Nothing about sex.
348
00:33:45,066 --> 00:33:46,546
Nothing about God.
349
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,765
Just, um, uh...
350
00:33:52,334 --> 00:33:53,894
What do you want to be
when you grow up?
351
00:33:56,512 --> 00:33:58,340
So, um...
352
00:34:00,777 --> 00:34:03,867
I always thought it would be
kind of cool to work, like...
353
00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:08,394
- in, like art conservation
and restoration. -(snickers)
354
00:34:10,178 --> 00:34:11,484
Oh, what's that entail?
355
00:34:12,572 --> 00:34:14,878
So, um...
356
00:34:16,271 --> 00:34:19,274
this guy from the MET came
to our class to talk about how
357
00:34:20,232 --> 00:34:23,061
-complicated it was to do art exhibits.
- Mm.
358
00:34:23,235 --> 00:34:27,674
Like, you have to conceive it,
find money,
359
00:34:27,848 --> 00:34:30,633
ask other museums
to donate their stuff,
360
00:34:31,460 --> 00:34:36,726
transport it, inspect it from
both ends, like, get insurance.
361
00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:41,383
Like, the whole thing
is really complicated.
362
00:34:43,124 --> 00:34:47,085
Transportation is really hard.
You have to be really gentle.
363
00:34:52,002 --> 00:34:53,874
Uh, you know, I know, um,
364
00:34:54,048 --> 00:34:56,572
a couple of guys
at the county museum. (snickers)
365
00:34:56,746 --> 00:34:59,488
It's not the MET, but, uh,
maybe we could get you
366
00:34:59,662 --> 00:35:03,405
- an internship or something.
- Oh, I don't want an internship.
367
00:35:03,579 --> 00:35:04,928
- Or...
- Why do you do that?
368
00:35:06,756 --> 00:35:08,193
You kind of turtle up.
369
00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:12,675
Do you get bullied?
370
00:35:15,417 --> 00:35:16,592
Oh, yeah.
371
00:35:19,029 --> 00:35:21,162
- Everyone does.
- Mm-mm.
372
00:35:21,858 --> 00:35:23,121
I never did.
373
00:35:25,297 --> 00:35:26,298
What happens?
374
00:35:28,691 --> 00:35:29,692
So, um...
375
00:35:32,521 --> 00:35:36,221
there's like these, these main
group of dudes who are all like, uh...
376
00:35:36,395 --> 00:35:38,179
(breath trembling)
377
00:35:38,353 --> 00:35:39,920
really intense.
378
00:35:40,094 --> 00:35:41,226
And, uh...
379
00:35:42,966 --> 00:35:45,099
they do things
that are like, um...
380
00:35:46,405 --> 00:35:49,451
- It's all right. -(crying)
really intense, and, like...
381
00:35:50,017 --> 00:35:51,758
(sniffles) And I don't think
382
00:35:51,932 --> 00:35:54,326
that I come off as gay
or anything, but...
383
00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:57,503
(crying)
384
00:35:58,678 --> 00:35:59,896
I can't help it.
385
00:36:02,029 --> 00:36:04,597
And I try to avoid them
at school.
386
00:36:06,599 --> 00:36:10,211
And you probably don't know this
about Saint Mark's.
387
00:36:10,385 --> 00:36:14,955
It's actually a really...
(crying) ...fascinating school.
388
00:36:15,129 --> 00:36:18,176
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. It's okay,
it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
389
00:36:18,350 --> 00:36:20,003
- Don't worry about it.
- (sobbing)
390
00:36:35,671 --> 00:36:36,890
Hey.
391
00:36:37,064 --> 00:36:38,370
Hey, can we, um...
392
00:36:38,892 --> 00:36:40,198
Can we not talk about it?
393
00:36:41,329 --> 00:36:42,635
I wasn't gonna.
394
00:36:42,809 --> 00:36:45,115
Okay. 'Cause, y... you know,
395
00:36:45,290 --> 00:36:47,030
I'm actually feeling
much better now.
396
00:36:48,075 --> 00:36:49,468
- You are?
- Yeah.
397
00:36:49,642 --> 00:36:52,079
I mean, about the gay stuff.
398
00:36:52,253 --> 00:36:56,736
Like, I, I was just thinking
that maybe this kind of worked.
399
00:36:56,910 --> 00:37:00,479
Like, I was just thinking
that maybe this kind of worked.
400
00:37:03,351 --> 00:37:04,657
Okay.
401
00:37:04,831 --> 00:37:06,572
Yeah, I mean, genuinely, like,
402
00:37:07,399 --> 00:37:09,401
I don't... I think about guys,
403
00:37:09,575 --> 00:37:13,013
and I don't feel
or want anything, so,
404
00:37:13,970 --> 00:37:17,235
yeah, may, maybe we can
go back home now?
405
00:37:22,196 --> 00:37:24,154
Are you being honest, Patrick?
406
00:37:26,113 --> 00:37:27,375
Okay, we can...
407
00:37:29,769 --> 00:37:32,162
we can stay here for another
day, if that's what you want.
408
00:37:32,337 --> 00:37:33,338
(Pat sighs)
409
00:37:35,165 --> 00:37:39,344
Actually... I want to try
something a little different.
410
00:37:40,083 --> 00:37:41,955
Are you familiar
with aversion therapy?
411
00:37:44,087 --> 00:37:45,087
No worries.
412
00:37:46,351 --> 00:37:47,787
Drink this, please.
413
00:37:48,483 --> 00:37:49,483
What is it?
414
00:37:51,617 --> 00:37:55,316
If you drink this,
I will take you home tonight.
415
00:37:57,231 --> 00:37:58,231
(exhales)
416
00:38:11,332 --> 00:38:12,333
(exhales)
417
00:38:14,727 --> 00:38:16,032
It's called ipecac.
418
00:38:16,729 --> 00:38:17,904
It's an emetic.
419
00:38:24,432 --> 00:38:25,607
What are you doing?
420
00:38:26,216 --> 00:38:27,217
(Pat sighs)
421
00:38:28,131 --> 00:38:30,612
I really value what you were
sharing with me earlier.
422
00:38:33,441 --> 00:38:38,577
Your job now is to not let what's about
to happen jeopardize our closeness.
423
00:38:39,142 --> 00:38:40,230
Okay?
424
00:38:41,971 --> 00:38:43,190
How are you feeling?
425
00:38:43,843 --> 00:38:45,366
My tongue feels numb.
426
00:38:46,062 --> 00:38:48,064
(Trick panting)
427
00:38:56,421 --> 00:38:58,379
(Pat) Into the tub, please.
There you go.
428
00:39:00,250 --> 00:39:01,250
There you go.
429
00:39:03,297 --> 00:39:04,472
(Trick groans)
430
00:39:04,646 --> 00:39:06,039
(panting)
431
00:39:07,693 --> 00:39:08,781
What's an emetic?
432
00:39:10,739 --> 00:39:13,786
It is a gastric irritant.
433
00:39:16,484 --> 00:39:18,138
How are we doing?
You feeling it?
434
00:39:18,312 --> 00:39:19,966
- (panting)
- Yeah.
435
00:39:27,887 --> 00:39:29,105
(coughs)
436
00:39:32,935 --> 00:39:35,373
(moaning on video)
437
00:39:42,728 --> 00:39:44,294
(indistinct talking on video)
438
00:39:49,822 --> 00:39:50,866
Eyes up, kiddo.
439
00:39:51,867 --> 00:39:54,566
Yeah. Eyes up. Eyes open.
Come on. Come on.
440
00:39:55,218 --> 00:39:56,437
- Come on. Open...
- I can't.
441
00:39:56,611 --> 00:39:58,439
Yes, you can.
There you go. That's it.
442
00:39:58,613 --> 00:40:00,093
- That's good. Look.
- It hurts.
443
00:40:02,225 --> 00:40:04,184
- Is this what you want?
- (men moaning on video)
444
00:40:06,491 --> 00:40:07,883
Good, good. You're doing good.
445
00:40:08,057 --> 00:40:09,494
Is this what you want?
446
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:11,409
Is this what you want?
447
00:40:11,583 --> 00:40:12,584
(crying) Stop!
448
00:40:12,758 --> 00:40:15,195
Don't ask me, Trick. Ask God.
449
00:40:15,369 --> 00:40:17,284
- Please!
- Ask him, Trick.
450
00:40:17,458 --> 00:40:19,417
- I'm sorry!
- Is this what you want?
451
00:40:19,591 --> 00:40:23,159
- (Trick crying)
- (men moaning on video)
452
00:40:23,333 --> 00:40:24,944
Open your eyes, Patrick.
453
00:40:25,118 --> 00:40:27,207
Open your eyes. Open your eyes.
454
00:40:27,947 --> 00:40:30,776
- Eyes open, Patrick!
- (Trick sobbing)
455
00:40:30,950 --> 00:40:34,519
Hell is not a game. This is a
spa treatment compared to hell.
456
00:40:34,693 --> 00:40:37,260
- I'm so sorry!
- Are you planning on lying to me again?
457
00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:40,394
- I'm so sorry!
- Are you planning on lying to me again?
458
00:40:40,568 --> 00:40:42,614
- (sobbing)
- (moaning continues)
459
00:40:42,788 --> 00:40:44,529
I'm sorry!
460
00:40:45,181 --> 00:40:46,181
Are you?
461
00:40:46,226 --> 00:40:48,228
I'm sorry!
462
00:40:48,402 --> 00:40:52,711
- (moaning, grunting on video)
- (Trick sobbing) I'm so sorry!
463
00:40:53,886 --> 00:40:55,409
I won't lie!
464
00:40:55,583 --> 00:40:57,933
Oh, Jesus! God!
465
00:40:58,107 --> 00:41:00,675
- I'm sorry!
- (grunting)
466
00:41:00,849 --> 00:41:02,982
(sobbing, retching)
467
00:41:07,552 --> 00:41:10,206
(sobbing) Please!
468
00:41:11,947 --> 00:41:13,558
(retching)
469
00:41:18,084 --> 00:41:20,478
(retching, groaning)
470
00:41:22,871 --> 00:41:25,221
(whimpering)
471
00:41:25,395 --> 00:41:28,311
(heavy breathing on video)
472
00:41:42,325 --> 00:41:43,979
There's nothing
I can do now, Trick.
473
00:41:45,677 --> 00:41:47,461
Some things
you just have to endure.
474
00:41:47,635 --> 00:41:49,811
- (Trick retching)
- (moaning on video)
475
00:41:57,036 --> 00:41:58,907
(Trick panting)
476
00:42:35,509 --> 00:42:37,555
(somber music)
477
00:42:45,388 --> 00:42:47,434
(heavy breathing)
478
00:43:01,361 --> 00:43:02,492
(shudders)
479
00:43:07,323 --> 00:43:09,325
(somber music)
480
00:43:55,981 --> 00:43:57,547
You still don't feel
like talking?
481
00:44:02,901 --> 00:44:04,729
It hurts me
when you do this, Trick.
482
00:44:06,295 --> 00:44:07,296
(snickers)
483
00:44:12,475 --> 00:44:13,520
All right.
484
00:44:14,173 --> 00:44:15,522
(door creaks)
485
00:44:51,732 --> 00:44:55,910
(male voice)
One of us.
486
00:44:57,912 --> 00:45:00,872
- Forever.
- Forever.
487
00:45:01,046 --> 00:45:03,701
Forever. Forever.
488
00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:06,965
Forever. Forever.
489
00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:10,142
Forever. Forever.
490
00:45:10,316 --> 00:45:11,883
(man talking indistinctly on TV)
491
00:45:12,057 --> 00:45:13,667
My wife since...
492
00:45:15,538 --> 00:45:17,584
served Jesus today.
493
00:45:19,499 --> 00:45:22,589
"How did you serve Jesus
today?" I said, "Say what?"
494
00:45:22,763 --> 00:45:26,158
And she just said it again. She said,
"How did you serve Jesus today?"
495
00:45:26,332 --> 00:45:30,466
I said, "Well, Pastor, I serve
Jesus every day with all my heart."
496
00:45:31,598 --> 00:45:33,818
A gentle approach
is usually better.
497
00:45:34,644 --> 00:45:36,777
We, uh, feel the same.
498
00:45:37,343 --> 00:45:38,431
But firm.
499
00:45:40,650 --> 00:45:43,262
Sure, sure. Gentle but firm.
500
00:45:43,436 --> 00:45:45,394
That's really the trick,
isn't it?
501
00:45:45,568 --> 00:45:47,657
(Kai)
Do you, uh, need a water?
502
00:45:48,223 --> 00:45:50,269
You were at redemption
with Alan, right?
503
00:45:50,835 --> 00:45:52,837
Oh. You know Alan.
504
00:45:53,011 --> 00:45:56,318
(Deb) We think what happened
to him was just criminal.
505
00:45:58,451 --> 00:46:02,498
Well, there will always be those
who don't understand.
506
00:46:03,282 --> 00:46:06,372
It's just a shame so many of them
are federal regulators. (chuckles)
507
00:46:08,896 --> 00:46:10,158
I'm serious.
508
00:46:10,855 --> 00:46:12,552
Christians are
more persecuted now
509
00:46:12,726 --> 00:46:14,467
than they were
during the Roman Empire.
510
00:46:15,598 --> 00:46:16,991
It's definitely alarming.
511
00:46:18,253 --> 00:46:20,342
(man on TV
continues indistinctly)
512
00:46:22,214 --> 00:46:23,868
Do you do exorcisms?
513
00:46:25,652 --> 00:46:27,349
(man on TV)
He is a mighty God.
514
00:46:28,307 --> 00:46:29,308
(chuckles softly)
515
00:46:30,483 --> 00:46:33,747
Uh, well, no. Not technically.
516
00:46:34,356 --> 00:46:35,749
I am not empowered to do that.
517
00:46:35,923 --> 00:46:38,752
Uh, Deb thinks it's a demon.
518
00:46:39,492 --> 00:46:42,234
- You don't have to say it like that.
- Sorry.
519
00:46:43,409 --> 00:46:45,280
(Deb)
I don't think it's a demon.
520
00:46:45,454 --> 00:46:48,109
I strongly suspect
demonic influence.
521
00:46:48,283 --> 00:46:50,720
Not uncommon
in a case like this.
522
00:46:52,287 --> 00:46:55,725
But I don't,
I don't deal in demons.
523
00:46:55,900 --> 00:47:00,295
After all, a demon can only take
root in a willing host. (snickers)
524
00:47:00,469 --> 00:47:03,777
So you treat the patient, and the
demons will go away on their own.
525
00:47:03,951 --> 00:47:06,519
(Deb) There's a camp,
you know, in New Mexico.
526
00:47:06,693 --> 00:47:08,129
They have
a water recreation area.
527
00:47:08,303 --> 00:47:11,219
- And you do cost more.
- Sure.
528
00:47:11,916 --> 00:47:14,701
And if money is a concern,
Jubilee is your best bet.
529
00:47:14,875 --> 00:47:16,355
They're great folk.
530
00:47:17,660 --> 00:47:20,359
- But your kid, what's his name?
- (Deb) Patrick.
531
00:47:22,317 --> 00:47:23,753
Funny. (chuckles)
532
00:47:24,450 --> 00:47:27,888
At Jubilee, Patrick will be
around 50 other kids
533
00:47:28,062 --> 00:47:30,717
looked after
by four or five counselors.
534
00:47:31,892 --> 00:47:34,547
If you go with me, your son
will be my only priority.
535
00:47:34,721 --> 00:47:38,551
- Money's no object.
- Money's... (chuckles)... a small object.
536
00:47:39,813 --> 00:47:42,468
How much
is the week-long retreat?
537
00:47:44,426 --> 00:47:45,732
He's our son!
538
00:47:45,906 --> 00:47:49,214
You fucker! You fucker!
539
00:47:49,910 --> 00:47:51,129
(Kai sighs)
540
00:47:51,303 --> 00:47:52,608
I am trying to save
541
00:47:52,782 --> 00:47:54,195
our son's soul...
(continues hitting Kai)
542
00:47:54,219 --> 00:47:56,134
and all you can think about
is money!
543
00:47:58,527 --> 00:48:01,095
(Pat breathing heavily)
544
00:48:18,504 --> 00:48:19,635
(grunts)
545
00:48:21,376 --> 00:48:23,248
(sighing)
546
00:48:42,528 --> 00:48:43,703
(sighs)
547
00:48:46,271 --> 00:48:47,271
(grunts)
548
00:48:49,404 --> 00:48:50,579
Up, up, up.
549
00:48:50,753 --> 00:48:52,146
Time to get up.
550
00:48:52,886 --> 00:48:56,063
I am really pleased
with our progress yesterday.
551
00:48:56,977 --> 00:48:59,849
We are through the hard stuff.
We're on the road to Damascus.
552
00:49:01,634 --> 00:49:07,074
You know... (clears throat) Paul reported
intense pain when Jesus visited him,
553
00:49:07,248 --> 00:49:09,033
and he was struck blind.
554
00:49:09,207 --> 00:49:10,599
The presence will do that.
555
00:49:13,863 --> 00:49:14,952
(sighs)
556
00:49:18,216 --> 00:49:19,758
Are we going to have
another day of sulking, Trick?
557
00:49:19,782 --> 00:49:21,784
I really don't need you
ruining another day.
558
00:49:31,011 --> 00:49:33,013
(suspenseful music)
559
00:49:38,497 --> 00:49:40,151
(Trick)
To whoever reads this...
560
00:49:43,676 --> 00:49:47,506
I'm sorry for all the pain
that I've caused.
561
00:49:49,334 --> 00:49:51,423
Damn it! (sighs)
562
00:49:51,597 --> 00:49:55,079
(Trick) I'm sorry for being a
disappointment to everybody.
563
00:49:58,821 --> 00:50:00,562
I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.
564
00:50:04,044 --> 00:50:05,872
I'm sorry, Mr. Sherman.
565
00:50:08,788 --> 00:50:11,356
I'm sorry that it took me
so long to do the thing
566
00:50:11,530 --> 00:50:14,663
that I know will make
everybody's lives easier.
567
00:50:14,837 --> 00:50:17,318
(Pat grunting)
568
00:50:17,492 --> 00:50:19,581
(Trick)
I'm just so scared of hell.
569
00:50:22,106 --> 00:50:23,803
I'm so scared of hell.
570
00:50:23,977 --> 00:50:25,979
(breathing heavily)
571
00:50:26,153 --> 00:50:28,199
I'm so scared of hell.
572
00:50:30,375 --> 00:50:32,420
I'm so scared of hell.
573
00:50:34,379 --> 00:50:36,946
I'm so scared of hell.
574
00:50:41,734 --> 00:50:42,865
(exhales)
575
00:50:43,605 --> 00:50:45,346
(insects chirping)
576
00:50:59,534 --> 00:51:00,666
(gasps softly)
577
00:51:13,113 --> 00:51:14,158
(sighs)
578
00:51:16,595 --> 00:51:17,596
(snickers)
579
00:51:20,425 --> 00:51:21,425
I...
580
00:51:21,948 --> 00:51:23,732
I don't know. (snickers)
581
00:51:25,517 --> 00:51:27,258
(smacks lips)
I don't know what happened.
582
00:51:27,432 --> 00:51:28,824
No, I... (sighs)
583
00:51:30,087 --> 00:51:31,305
I... (sighs)
584
00:51:32,915 --> 00:51:34,134
I don't know what happened.
585
00:51:34,787 --> 00:51:36,136
He must've snuck out.
586
00:51:38,834 --> 00:51:40,923
No. No signs.
587
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,060
You let me inform the parents.
I'm a preacher.
588
00:51:47,669 --> 00:51:49,323
Look, let me inform...
589
00:51:49,497 --> 00:51:51,325
Will you let me in... Damn it.
590
00:51:54,372 --> 00:51:55,372
(exhales)
591
00:51:56,548 --> 00:51:58,202
Let me inform the parents.
592
00:51:58,376 --> 00:51:59,376
I'm a preacher.
593
00:51:59,507 --> 00:52:00,508
(snickers)
594
00:52:03,381 --> 00:52:07,341
No, of course not. No, I have,
I have no idea where he went.
595
00:52:07,907 --> 00:52:10,301
I just hope we find him
before it's too late.
596
00:52:14,392 --> 00:52:15,654
Thank you, Officer.
597
00:52:17,351 --> 00:52:18,961
(breathes deeply)
598
00:52:21,921 --> 00:52:23,575
If there's anything I...
599
00:52:23,749 --> 00:52:26,534
If there's anything I...
(exhales in frustration)
600
00:52:29,276 --> 00:52:31,148
If there's anything I can do...
601
00:52:42,246 --> 00:52:43,769
(exhales forcefully)
602
00:52:43,943 --> 00:52:45,988
(ominous music)
603
00:52:56,042 --> 00:52:57,130
(stone clatters)
604
00:52:59,393 --> 00:53:01,743
(breathing heavily)
605
00:53:11,623 --> 00:53:13,494
This is private property!
606
00:53:15,931 --> 00:53:17,933
Don't think
I won't call the cops!
607
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,200
- (stones clattering)
- (yells in pain)
608
00:53:22,938 --> 00:53:23,983
God!
609
00:53:25,506 --> 00:53:26,506
(groans)
610
00:53:38,519 --> 00:53:40,260
(pants)
611
00:53:42,871 --> 00:53:45,265
(groaning)
612
00:54:23,564 --> 00:54:24,826
(sighs)
613
00:54:32,399 --> 00:54:33,531
(sighs)
614
00:54:41,974 --> 00:54:43,149
(sniffs)
615
00:54:49,242 --> 00:54:50,896
(sighs, opens drawer)
616
00:54:56,510 --> 00:54:57,598
(sighs)
617
00:55:04,475 --> 00:55:05,475
(stone thuds)
618
00:55:07,260 --> 00:55:09,262
(panting)
619
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:17,270
(breath trembling)
620
00:55:18,053 --> 00:55:19,359
- (woman) Excuse me!
- (gasps)
621
00:55:26,671 --> 00:55:28,629
(stifles sob)
622
00:55:29,761 --> 00:55:31,763
(breathing heavily))
623
00:55:40,598 --> 00:55:42,774
I know you're in there.
I can see your car.
624
00:55:44,993 --> 00:55:46,125
Excuse me.
625
00:55:46,691 --> 00:55:48,040
I'd like to talk to you.
626
00:55:50,651 --> 00:55:52,566
(man)
Babe, come on.
627
00:55:54,916 --> 00:55:56,048
Hey. Sorry.
628
00:55:56,222 --> 00:55:57,571
Couldn't hear you over the sink.
629
00:55:58,180 --> 00:55:59,399
Who are you?
630
00:55:59,573 --> 00:56:01,270
Uh, I'm Pat.
631
00:56:02,533 --> 00:56:03,751
You're not Alan.
632
00:56:03,925 --> 00:56:05,013
Uh, no, ma'am.
633
00:56:06,319 --> 00:56:07,799
And you're a pastor?
634
00:56:07,973 --> 00:56:08,973
Yes, ma'am.
635
00:56:16,503 --> 00:56:18,418
- Uh...
- (man) Babe,
636
00:56:19,463 --> 00:56:20,681
- come on.
- (woman) Shh.
637
00:56:22,291 --> 00:56:23,467
Is the kid in there?
638
00:56:25,425 --> 00:56:26,600
What kid?
639
00:56:27,514 --> 00:56:28,514
Oh.
640
00:56:28,559 --> 00:56:30,648
Uh, yes. Um...
641
00:56:31,997 --> 00:56:33,607
He, uh...
642
00:56:35,435 --> 00:56:38,395
I don't really think of him
as a kid. He's asleep.
643
00:56:39,265 --> 00:56:40,266
Asleep?
644
00:56:41,310 --> 00:56:43,574
He was up late in prayer.
645
00:56:46,098 --> 00:56:48,274
So, how do you know Alan?
646
00:56:48,448 --> 00:56:50,929
Um, I'm a pastor.
647
00:56:51,669 --> 00:56:52,757
(chuckles) Uh, I know.
648
00:56:52,931 --> 00:56:54,454
Um, are you from around here?
649
00:56:56,978 --> 00:56:59,459
Me and Alan, we, we go way back.
650
00:56:59,633 --> 00:57:00,982
(snickers)
651
00:57:01,156 --> 00:57:03,289
So, Alan knows
you're here, right?
652
00:57:03,463 --> 00:57:04,682
Sure hope so.
653
00:57:07,162 --> 00:57:09,121
- Yes, he does.
- And the kid.
654
00:57:10,296 --> 00:57:11,515
What about him?
655
00:57:13,342 --> 00:57:14,605
Hey, are you in there?
656
00:57:14,779 --> 00:57:16,215
Is everything okay?
657
00:57:17,390 --> 00:57:18,696
(smacks lips)
658
00:57:19,479 --> 00:57:20,785
He's a deep sleeper.
659
00:57:22,264 --> 00:57:24,310
How about I just come in
for a second and check?
660
00:57:24,963 --> 00:57:28,270
That's so sweet of you, but I
think we better let him rest.
661
00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:30,490
I am responsible
for his welfare, after all.
662
00:57:30,664 --> 00:57:33,232
And as far as I can tell,
you're just some trespasser.
663
00:57:42,589 --> 00:57:43,589
(horn honks)
664
00:57:44,199 --> 00:57:46,898
Honey, the range closes
in, like, an hour.
665
00:57:47,072 --> 00:57:48,160
(woman)
All right.
666
00:57:51,816 --> 00:57:52,817
Well...
667
00:57:54,601 --> 00:57:56,473
- take care.
- (Pat) You as well.
668
00:58:06,744 --> 00:58:09,790
Take the car to the end of the driveway,
block the exit, and call the cops.
669
00:58:11,662 --> 00:58:12,663
(man sighs)
670
00:58:13,402 --> 00:58:15,448
(car drives away)
671
00:58:22,281 --> 00:58:24,631
(ominous music)
672
00:58:36,295 --> 00:58:38,471
(light shuffling)
673
01:00:10,607 --> 01:00:12,609
(ominous music)
674
01:00:20,399 --> 01:00:21,530
(yells)
675
01:00:24,751 --> 01:00:26,710
(high-pitched ringing)
676
01:00:28,537 --> 01:00:30,583
(squelching)
677
01:00:40,767 --> 01:00:42,639
(breathing heavily)
678
01:00:47,121 --> 01:00:48,340
(gasps)
679
01:00:51,778 --> 01:00:52,953
(inhales sharply)
680
01:00:55,260 --> 01:00:56,653
(creaking)
681
01:01:05,270 --> 01:01:06,314
(gasps)
682
01:01:31,992 --> 01:01:34,995
(sirens wailing, approaching)
683
01:01:36,736 --> 01:01:38,869
(breathing heavily)
684
01:01:41,610 --> 01:01:43,743
(distant indistinct chatter)
685
01:01:43,917 --> 01:01:45,614
(phone ringing)
686
01:01:48,443 --> 01:01:50,532
(officer) All right, now,
why don't you just tell me
687
01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:53,753
-a little about what happened over there?
-(softly) I don't know.
688
01:01:54,711 --> 01:01:56,277
(officer)
Listen, Alan's a friend,
689
01:01:56,451 --> 01:01:58,932
and we really don't want
to have to embarrass the church
690
01:01:59,106 --> 01:02:02,153
or anything like that.
So, if you just tell me, uh...
691
01:02:05,243 --> 01:02:06,331
(sniffs)
692
01:02:09,073 --> 01:02:10,204
(sighs)
693
01:02:22,434 --> 01:02:24,566
(footsteps approaching)
694
01:02:28,266 --> 01:02:30,529
Well, here's the lay of it.
695
01:02:31,573 --> 01:02:33,837
We can keep you out of jail.
(chuckles)
696
01:02:34,011 --> 01:02:36,274
Lucky for you,
Judge Blatt, he's a friend.
697
01:02:36,927 --> 01:02:39,059
But you're going to have
to disappear in a hurry.
698
01:02:41,061 --> 01:02:42,106
Where do I go?
699
01:02:42,933 --> 01:02:44,282
I could go to Rexburg.
700
01:02:45,152 --> 01:02:47,024
Now, I know
you didn't just say that.
701
01:02:48,677 --> 01:02:51,028
I feel like I've done
everything I can for you.
702
01:02:52,464 --> 01:02:54,292
You ain't going to prison.
703
01:02:54,901 --> 01:02:55,989
Be thankful.
704
01:03:00,341 --> 01:03:02,082
Alan, I was working for you.
705
01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:08,785
I told you to scare the kid,
not kill him.
706
01:03:11,048 --> 01:03:12,701
That's not how I remember it.
707
01:03:17,097 --> 01:03:18,098
What?
708
01:03:20,709 --> 01:03:24,931
I remember you calling me and, and
telling me to give the kid ipecac.
709
01:03:28,326 --> 01:03:32,286
You already gave your testimony,
you absolute son of a bitch.
710
01:03:33,418 --> 01:03:35,202
Maybe I remembered
something new.
711
01:03:38,945 --> 01:03:40,773
Just give me a place to live.
712
01:03:44,211 --> 01:03:45,256
God damn it.
713
01:03:47,736 --> 01:03:51,740
Well... there's one place
I can put you.
714
01:03:59,836 --> 01:04:01,838
(somber music)
715
01:04:18,419 --> 01:04:20,769
(door unlocks, creaks)
716
01:04:46,534 --> 01:04:47,579
(spray can hisses)
717
01:05:13,474 --> 01:05:15,476
(insects chirping)
718
01:05:28,185 --> 01:05:29,229
(sighs)
719
01:05:35,148 --> 01:05:36,671
(sighs)
720
01:05:59,999 --> 01:06:01,044
(exhales)
721
01:06:08,268 --> 01:06:09,313
(sighs)
722
01:06:41,780 --> 01:06:43,477
(breathes heavily)
723
01:07:09,155 --> 01:07:11,157
(gasping)
724
01:07:34,311 --> 01:07:36,139
(rustling)
725
01:07:51,110 --> 01:07:52,329
(woman)
Heard you got off.
726
01:08:01,251 --> 01:08:02,904
This is church property.
727
01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:06,212
That's right.
728
01:08:07,039 --> 01:08:08,736
Right up to that
line of trees over there.
729
01:08:09,998 --> 01:08:11,304
And it's my property.
730
01:08:17,005 --> 01:08:19,660
And if you so much as breathe
on my land,
731
01:08:20,618 --> 01:08:22,924
I will do to you
what the state should have done.
732
01:08:26,363 --> 01:08:28,495
I guess that'd be
about what I deserve. (sniffs)
733
01:08:35,067 --> 01:08:36,329
Do you feel bad?
734
01:08:38,592 --> 01:08:40,420
Do you think
about that poor boy?
735
01:08:43,989 --> 01:08:45,208
Most days.
736
01:08:46,383 --> 01:08:47,427
Most days?
737
01:08:47,993 --> 01:08:49,255
Jesus Christ.
738
01:08:50,865 --> 01:08:53,607
Somebody really should
put you out of your misery.
739
01:08:53,781 --> 01:08:55,218
I'm sure somebody will.
740
01:09:06,185 --> 01:09:09,449
(Pat on recording) I don't
think you need fixing, Trick.
741
01:09:09,623 --> 01:09:11,582
I think you're fine
just the way you are.
742
01:09:18,023 --> 01:09:19,807
Look, if you don't want
to be here,
743
01:09:19,981 --> 01:09:21,861
just say the word,
I'll take you home right now.
744
01:09:22,027 --> 01:09:25,509
(Trick) Okay. Um, I would
like to go home, please.
745
01:09:25,683 --> 01:09:27,424
(Pat)
But I think you should know
746
01:09:27,989 --> 01:09:30,905
that your parents
are really concerned.
747
01:09:32,037 --> 01:09:35,040
And if you continue acting out,
they may try other things.
748
01:09:36,694 --> 01:09:37,738
(Trick)
Right.
749
01:09:40,001 --> 01:09:41,762
(Pat) I'm sure I don't
have to tell you that I'm,
750
01:09:41,786 --> 01:09:43,309
I'm the nice version of this.
751
01:09:43,483 --> 01:09:45,137
(Trick)
I, I get that.
752
01:09:47,835 --> 01:09:48,880
(Pat)
Okay.
753
01:09:50,403 --> 01:09:51,403
Okay.
754
01:09:54,277 --> 01:09:55,408
Just one question.
755
01:09:57,149 --> 01:09:58,716
Are you happy?
756
01:10:00,326 --> 01:10:01,414
(Trick)
I'm not.
757
01:10:04,287 --> 01:10:06,071
(Pat)
Why is that?
758
01:10:12,817 --> 01:10:14,079
(exhales)
759
01:10:20,216 --> 01:10:21,826
(girl sobbing)
760
01:10:26,047 --> 01:10:27,353
(exhales heavily)
761
01:10:28,441 --> 01:10:30,138
(girl crying)
762
01:10:30,313 --> 01:10:32,315
(thunder rumbling)
763
01:10:33,881 --> 01:10:35,056
(exhales heavily)
764
01:10:35,231 --> 01:10:37,233
(ominous music)
765
01:10:46,242 --> 01:10:49,288
(breathes heavily)
766
01:11:06,349 --> 01:11:07,741
(thunder rumbles)
767
01:11:24,671 --> 01:11:25,933
(door opens)
768
01:11:29,633 --> 01:11:30,721
(door closes)
769
01:11:30,895 --> 01:11:32,897
(thunder rumbling)
770
01:11:34,986 --> 01:11:37,031
(rain pattering)
771
01:11:46,911 --> 01:11:49,392
(Alana)
Do you remember me, Patrick?
772
01:11:56,573 --> 01:11:58,096
Of course I remember you.
773
01:11:59,750 --> 01:12:01,186
How old are you now?
774
01:12:02,622 --> 01:12:03,667
(Alana)
Twenty-two.
775
01:12:06,713 --> 01:12:07,714
Wow.
776
01:12:11,065 --> 01:12:13,633
- Last time I saw you...
- You don't remember me.
777
01:12:17,637 --> 01:12:18,725
(Pat)
I'm sorry.
778
01:12:20,292 --> 01:12:22,033
My name is Alana Conan.
779
01:12:31,347 --> 01:12:33,174
What can I do for you,
Alana Conan?
780
01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:35,612
It's so hard to focus.
781
01:12:36,439 --> 01:12:39,224
(sighs) It's so hard
to know what's real.
782
01:12:44,534 --> 01:12:47,145
(Pat) Did you have something
that you wanted to say to me?
783
01:12:47,319 --> 01:12:48,364
Yes.
784
01:12:49,887 --> 01:12:50,887
That's right.
785
01:12:53,673 --> 01:12:54,892
You told me...
786
01:12:56,807 --> 01:13:00,550
if I wanted to be a lesbian,
I should look like one.
787
01:13:05,511 --> 01:13:06,991
I know that I was lucky.
788
01:13:09,994 --> 01:13:15,913
There were rumors about what the
counselors did to the other kids.
789
01:13:22,789 --> 01:13:23,877
For a while,
790
01:13:24,443 --> 01:13:25,575
I thought I was pretty lucky
791
01:13:25,749 --> 01:13:27,577
that I just had my head shaved.
792
01:13:32,669 --> 01:13:34,627
But I don't feel
that way anymore.
793
01:13:40,546 --> 01:13:42,635
I need you to apologize.
794
01:13:47,118 --> 01:13:49,599
Alana, from the bottom
of my heart...
795
01:13:52,253 --> 01:13:53,864
I am so sorry.
796
01:13:59,609 --> 01:14:00,609
Okay.
797
01:14:01,959 --> 01:14:02,959
But...
798
01:14:06,354 --> 01:14:09,096
at the time, we thought we
were doing the right thing.
799
01:14:12,273 --> 01:14:17,235
I just think it's important
to look at the larger context.
800
01:14:17,409 --> 01:14:20,586
"The larger context."
801
01:14:21,718 --> 01:14:24,024
The cultural context.
802
01:14:25,417 --> 01:14:27,245
The older I get,
the more I feel it's...
803
01:14:28,551 --> 01:14:31,336
- We're all just products of our culture.
- I had, um...
804
01:14:37,908 --> 01:14:38,952
I had, um...
805
01:14:40,911 --> 01:14:43,261
Tylenol, I think...
806
01:14:44,741 --> 01:14:46,264
in my medicine cabinet.
807
01:14:50,181 --> 01:14:52,270
I didn't know
how much to take, so...
808
01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:55,621
I just took it all.
809
01:15:00,060 --> 01:15:01,584
And now my stomach is...
810
01:15:03,107 --> 01:15:06,458
full of nails,
and chalk, and...
811
01:15:10,027 --> 01:15:14,640
After the paramedics left,
I started walking.
812
01:15:18,644 --> 01:15:22,126
Sometimes I felt... hungry.
813
01:15:22,300 --> 01:15:25,608
Um... sometimes I felt sad.
814
01:15:27,610 --> 01:15:29,046
And sometimes...
815
01:15:30,656 --> 01:15:34,094
my feet would leave the earth
for an hour at a time.
816
01:15:37,663 --> 01:15:39,230
The others walk with me.
817
01:15:42,276 --> 01:15:45,932
When they fade away...
I'll carry them.
818
01:15:46,890 --> 01:15:49,762
And, and when I fade away...
819
01:15:51,677 --> 01:15:52,852
they'll carry me.
820
01:15:58,902 --> 01:16:01,513
Who will carry you, Patrick?
821
01:16:09,521 --> 01:16:12,393
You know, I really shouldn't
be having visitors this late.
822
01:16:14,918 --> 01:16:19,749
Say you had, um... a baby.
823
01:16:21,489 --> 01:16:24,623
A newborn baby... your son...
824
01:16:27,539 --> 01:16:29,280
and a rabid dog...
825
01:16:30,586 --> 01:16:33,632
broke into your house
and killed him.
826
01:16:36,113 --> 01:16:40,552
Clawed out his eyeballs and tore
through his soft little neck.
827
01:16:43,250 --> 01:16:45,165
How would you kill a dog
that did that?
828
01:16:45,339 --> 01:16:49,387
You have every right
to be angry with me.
829
01:16:49,561 --> 01:16:50,736
Would you trap it?
830
01:16:52,520 --> 01:16:54,479
Keep it in a little cage?
831
01:16:55,872 --> 01:16:57,656
What would you do then?
832
01:16:58,701 --> 01:16:59,789
Would you kick it?
833
01:17:00,746 --> 01:17:02,008
Hit it with a stick?
834
01:17:02,182 --> 01:17:05,142
Break its jaw?
Crush its bones? Uh...
835
01:17:06,447 --> 01:17:08,232
Pull its teeth out one by one?
836
01:17:11,017 --> 01:17:15,456
What do you do to something that took
away what was most precious to you?
837
01:17:19,460 --> 01:17:20,984
What do I do?
838
01:17:21,941 --> 01:17:22,681
Trick.
839
01:17:22,855 --> 01:17:24,857
(ominous music)
840
01:17:54,626 --> 01:17:56,933
(ominous music)
841
01:18:01,459 --> 01:18:03,287
(Trick)
Lord have mercy.
842
01:18:03,940 --> 01:18:06,246
Christ have mercy.
843
01:18:06,986 --> 01:18:10,555
God, son, the Redeemer
of the world...
844
01:18:10,729 --> 01:18:12,383
(others)
Have mercy on us.
845
01:18:12,557 --> 01:18:14,646
God, the Holy Spirit...
846
01:18:14,820 --> 01:18:16,430
(others)
Have mercy on us.
847
01:18:16,604 --> 01:18:19,085
(Trick)
Holy Trinity, one God...
848
01:18:19,259 --> 01:18:20,608
(others)
Have mercy on us.
849
01:18:20,783 --> 01:18:22,306
Holy Mary, pray for us.
850
01:18:22,480 --> 01:18:23,916
(others)
Pray for us.
851
01:18:34,100 --> 01:18:35,406
(grunting)
852
01:18:39,889 --> 01:18:41,542
(groans)
853
01:18:44,894 --> 01:18:46,896
(spluttering)
854
01:18:48,027 --> 01:18:50,029
(choking)
855
01:18:52,162 --> 01:18:54,468
(Trick) Hold not thy
peace of God of my praise,
856
01:18:54,642 --> 01:18:58,821
for the mouth of the wicked and the mouth
of the deceitful are open against me.
857
01:18:58,995 --> 01:19:01,475
- They have spoken against me
with lying tongues... -(coughing)
858
01:19:01,649 --> 01:19:05,479
and have rewarded me evil
for good and hatred for my love.
859
01:19:05,653 --> 01:19:10,006
When he shall be judged, let him be
condemned. Let his prayer become sin,
860
01:19:10,180 --> 01:19:13,531
-let his days be few, and let
another take his office. -(coughing)
861
01:19:13,705 --> 01:19:16,795
Let his children be fatherless,
and wife a widow.
862
01:19:16,969 --> 01:19:19,885
Let his children be
continually vagabonds in death.
863
01:19:20,059 --> 01:19:21,820
- (others speaking indistinctly)
- Let them seek out their bread
864
01:19:21,844 --> 01:19:23,889
also out of
their desolate place.
865
01:19:24,063 --> 01:19:26,283
Let there be none
to extend mercy unto him...
866
01:19:26,457 --> 01:19:28,000
- Let not the sin of his mother be blotted out.
-...neither let there be any
867
01:19:28,024 --> 01:19:29,808
to father
his favorless children.
868
01:19:29,982 --> 01:19:31,201
(retches, spits)
869
01:19:32,463 --> 01:19:33,725
(coughs)
870
01:19:40,297 --> 01:19:44,170
In the name of the children
who you murdered,
871
01:19:44,649 --> 01:19:47,043
and the ones who survived,
872
01:19:47,695 --> 01:19:52,091
the ones who clawed
their lives back from you,
873
01:19:53,179 --> 01:19:56,487
who cut you out
like the cancer you are.
874
01:19:56,661 --> 01:19:59,142
(pensive music)
875
01:20:20,990 --> 01:20:22,992
(birds chirping)
876
01:20:28,301 --> 01:20:29,607
I'm not surprised.
877
01:20:30,608 --> 01:20:31,652
That's all I'm saying.
878
01:20:32,740 --> 01:20:34,612
Not surprised somebody did it.
879
01:20:36,483 --> 01:20:37,571
I didn't do it. (chuckles)
880
01:20:37,745 --> 01:20:38,745
But...
881
01:20:39,835 --> 01:20:41,314
not surprised somebody did.
882
01:20:45,623 --> 01:20:46,929
Is he in there?
883
01:20:47,625 --> 01:20:50,976
(man) Yeah, but it's not
something really that you...
884
01:20:57,678 --> 01:20:58,679
You okay, miss?
885
01:21:00,638 --> 01:21:02,596
Well, now I don't know
how to feel.
886
01:21:11,997 --> 01:21:12,997
(camera shutter clicking)
887
01:21:21,615 --> 01:21:22,790
(camera shutter clicking)
888
01:21:24,967 --> 01:21:27,099
(somber music)
889
01:23:39,231 --> 01:23:41,581
(indistinct, muffled chatter)
890
01:24:43,469 --> 01:24:45,471
(muffled laughter)
891
01:24:54,698 --> 01:24:56,700
(somber music)
892
01:25:43,007 --> 01:25:45,009
(melancholic piano music)
60876
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