All language subtitles for The Franchise S01E02 - Scene 36 The Invisible Jackhammer (Awafim.tv)

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MEDITATION GUIDE: (OVER SPEAKER)
Now allow your mind and body

to be still as we take
a purifying breath in...

- (INHALES)
- GUIDE: ....and out.

♪ (TRANQUIL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

GUIDE:
And again, calming breath in...

releasing out.

- One more breath in...
- (CELL PHONE BUZZING)

GUIDE: ...and out.

Allow any tensions
in your body to--

- ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
- What?

JAZ: Dan, the new producer

just called
an emergency meeting.

Emergency meeting
is in 25 minutes.

Great! Fuck. Terrible. Bye.

- ♪ (TRANQUIL MUSIC RESUMES) ♪
- GUIDE: ...to gently float away

as we go again, in and out.

- Can you feel the tension
just melting away?
- ♪ (INTENSE MUSIC OVERLAPPING) ♪

- (CAR HORN HONKING)
- (SCREAMS)

God, these scripts are heavy.

Probably because
they're so great.

Emergency all-hands.
I hope it's not a firing squad.

Are you worried
it's a firing squad?

Literally never crossed my mind.

Smart. Don't overthink it.

Like the script.
If anything, underthink it.

I've seen it
a million times, Dag.

Speed up, spend less, yada.
It's just the biz.

The biz.
Like short for business.

Did you coin that?

I've literally
never heard that before.

Pre-dawn emergency meeting?

Am I to be stripped and flogged

in front of my fucking props
department?

And if it's a spanking,
in a breakout room, please.

- Breakout spanking.
- Look, Eric, this is good.

It shows she's invested
in the movie. In your vision.

JAZ: Meeting's cancelled.

New producer just cancelled it.

DANIEL: Sorry, what?

DAG: Mind games. Bravo.

ERIC: What is happening, Daniel?

Guys, it's called ghosting.

Game recognize game?

(CONFUSED CHATTER)

All right, listen up.

(CHATTER STOPS)

DANIEL: Do not panic.

It's a stunt day,
big technical day,

and we're gonna execute this
and show her how good we are.

We're craftspeople,
our director's a visionary.

Forward cinema!

- (SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
- Thank you.

Should we be clapping?

Stephanie,
bring my buggy around.

And arrange me
a rapid response haircut.

This is serious.

Dan, would now be a good time

to talk about
career progressions?

Everything's exploding
at a million miles an hour

and the movie is a scrotum
resting on a razor's edge.

Got it. So maybe like
in an hour?

Daniel. (CHUCKLES)
Hey, what's happening?

It's all good, mate.
It's all good.

Great, mate, great.
What's happening?

Yeah, no, it's all great.
We're just forwards.

Yeah, but what is happening?

Like literally,
what is happening?

New producer,
are we being X-rayed?

Absolutely not.

Because X-ray shows up
something weird,

you cut out the tumor,

and you replace it
with Kit Harington.

- Or one of the Skarsgårds.
- Which one?

- I don't mind.
- DANIEL: Adam, mate,
this is not about you.

It has nothing to do
with my body shape?

I know I Dorito-ed myself.

Dorito-ed myself, bigger on top,

tapering down to a skinnier leg.

But please tell our new producer

that I am prioritizing
squats and lunges.

Dude, the studio
loves your legs.

Oh, high fives
for that guy's thighs.

Great, 'cause don't believe
everything you read online,

especially WikiLegs.

- Do not look up that site.
- Morning, cunts.

- Hello.
- Headlamps on,

ready for another day
down the gold mine.

Yes, Peter.
All right, let's go. Okay.

Poor pathetic little prick.
Holding it together,

but he knows.

New producer airdrops in.

He's auditioning for his job.
You all are.

But obviously not me.
I'm just number two.

Call sheet and my mother agree.

I'm second best.
See you out there, number one.

Just so you're hearing it
so that you've heard it,

new producer is cancelling
80 of our Moss Men for today.

DAG: Mind games part two. Boom.

Uh, okay.
She's sending a message.

How much can we take
before we squeal?

Scrooge McFuck.

So how many extras do we have
for the big crowd shot now?

- Five.
- (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

Eric's not gonna like that.

I'm not gonna like that.
I don't like that.

Great. I'll let the trades know.

Rude.

♪ (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC
MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

(BELL RINGING)

Stunt day! All eyeballs on me.
Will he make it? Will he cave?

Will an actual man die?

Yes, no, and no.

Everyone's freaking out, Dag.

Watch as I neutralize
the mass panic.

Xanax Man.

I'm being asked to remind you,
Peter's spine.

He's only good for
three launches, contractually.

Okay, three goes!

Peter's spine is good
for three goes.

Peter's spinal X-rays,
if that helps.

It doesn't. Back in your box,
please, Bryson.

Eric, sir.

Loving the haircut.
A sharp cut for a sharp mind.

Daniel, I stayed up
till 5:00 a.m.

redrawing storyboards
for the Jackhammer escape.

Eric, don't panic.
We're going to hold the course.

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

"A crowd of Moss People
stretch to the horizon."

Daniel, I have five.

- And it's bullshit.
- I'll make it work, okay?

I'm going to make a crowd
of five look like 5,000.

Loaves and fishes,
but for people.

- Loaves and people.
- Very nice.

"The director's cut."

It's funnier every time.
Thank you, Stephanie.

Hello. Number two
checking in for business.

So how are you
up on the wires, number one?

(GROANS)
Wonderful. Thank you, Peter.

Because one can look flaccid
if one's not careful,

bobbing around
like astronaut cock.

Well, my movement coach
is from Zagreb's

- foremost ballet, so...
- How many ballets do they have?

Uh...

Ready?

Uh, question on Mollusk Man.

It's five minutes
each time he needs the bathroom.

So we could fit him with a bag
or we do the diaper.

- Diaper?
- JAKY: Nappy. The adult nappy.

We've checked and they do come
in his size from Belgium.

- Big, big diaper.
- Sounds like my kind of diaper.

- (CHUCKLES)
- Less comfortable
and it will limit

his range of movement,
especially when sodden.

Plus only a 300-dollar saving.

Less pleasant for
all involved, the diaper, no?

It's a saving in terms
of playing ball.

Shows we're not afraid
to make the tough decisions.

For labor reasons,

Shane can't know about
the diaper but off the record...

Okay, let's have him diapered.

Happy to nappy.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

"I'm ready for my diaper,
Mr. DeMille."

(LAUGHS) Very good.

- Okay, stunt rehearsal.
- Yeah.

Stunt rehearsal,
everyone on their A-game.

Remember we are top-drawer
professionals, thank you.

- ADAM: Let's do it!
- Eric, sir.

Okay. And so...

"The Jackhammer Escape."
Moss Men swarm.

Tecto produces
his Invisible Jackhammer

and both of you
blast off to freedom.

Running in the
Invisible Jackhammer.

(GASPS SOFTLY)
Two words, no words.

Third word, wow.

- (EXHALES SHARPLY)
- (KNOCKING)

ADAM: Great. (EXHALES SHARPLY)

My God, I am so blessed.

Front row seats
for the Invisible Jackhammer.

Standing here,
watching you jacking off.

Yeah. Uh, do-- do you have
the concept art?

Absolutely.

Great, and how...
how invisible is this thing?

It's totally invisible.
Obviously, you will see it.

Okay, I got it.

I'm sorry, I don't got it. Um...

It's like an air wobble.

It would be nothing,
but solid, yes?

Okay, no, no.

It's the outline, like glass.

Yes, but is glass invisible?

My dog once walked into
a patio door, if that helps.

Is it okay?

PETER: Shh, quiet, please.

Number one is pretending
to be on a drill,

which is invisible.

Hey, props.

Props, can I have my
Tecto Sonic Blockers?

JAZ: Locating Sonic Blockers.

CREW: Locating Sonic Blockers!

Are you sure about this?

- The Invisible Jackhammer?
- (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

I thought it would look cool,
but it doesn't.

Well, that's invaluable input,
Mr. Spielberg. Thank you.

Running in Sonic Blockers.

Thanks.

I'm going to say something.
Excuse me?

I will genuinely
incapacitate you.

Yeah, just need
a second with it.

- ERIC: Yeah, the hair.
- Hair.

- ERIC: Fix the hair.
- Hair. Fix the hair.

JAZ: Fixing the hair.

If they're doing
something wrong,

surely we have to say.

No, Dag, we don't have
an opinion, okay?

We just keep the trains running.
Who cares what's on them?

Potatoes, Christmas presents.

Dissidents, trafficked children.

That's not what it is though,
is it?

Ours is not to reason why, Dag.

Can I at least have
some headphones

- so that I can hear?
- Headphones?

- Are you for fucking real?
- JAZ: Still fixing the hair.

I didn't get my first pair
of headphones for six years.

Okay.

DANIEL: You see Mike,
the gaffer?

He worked on
Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Hasn't heard a single word
of dialogue his entire career.

Well, that's sad.

- Poor Mike.
- Yeah, well,

it's heartbreaking,
but it's the biz.

- JAZ: Hair's fixed.
- CREW: Hair's fixed.

DANIEL: Okay, stunt rehearsal!

"Surrounded on all sides,

Tecto activates
his Invisible Jackhammer,

drilling down into the earth."

- ♪ (HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
- (GRUNTS)

(IMITATES JACKHAMMER)

"Tecto grabs Eye,

and the force shoots them
into the air like a rocket."

Cue Moss Men and action stunt!

ADAM: It's hammer time!

- ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
- (MACHINE WHIRRING)

ADAM: Warp speed, baby!

- PETER: What are you doing?
- ADAM: No one called "cut."

Not for me to say,
but shouldn't that be faster?

- Shane is expecting warp speed.
- ERIC: Okay, cut!

JAZ: The winch
has to roll itself out,

15 meters to go.

PETER: I've been
in motorized bath chairs

faster than this.

ADAM: Eric! Hey, Eric!
Any notes for me?

So, I've been talking to Chris.

Did I tell you
that I've been talking to Chris?

Couple of times, yeah, yeah.

It's very cool
how you're friends with him now.

He writes me
these beautiful letters.

Longhand.

Chris, always Chris,
never Christopher.

- Chris Nolan.
- Wow, that's great for you.

So great, anyway.

Yeah, well, my point is...

how would Chris make sense
of the Invisible Jackhammer?

So yes. I want this. This here.

Talk to our new producer,

get me my 80 extras,
or I will not shoot, yeah?

(SIGHS) So tough,
isn't it? The biz.

Dag, I'm going to get
this stunt if it kills me

and everyone involved
in this production.

Dan, I've got
Health and Safety for you.

Welcome!
Thank you, Health and Safety.

Onwards, with caution.
(CLEARS THROAT)

JAZ:
Adam's gone back to his trailer.

DANIEL: Course he has.
Send in Xanax Man.

Adam, sir.

- Hey.
- DANIEL: We need you
back on set, mate.

What's up?
Just give me a second.

Yeah.

Um, will you
just be straight with me?

Do you buy me as a guy who can
make earthquakes happen?

Earthquakes, yes.

Absolutely.

Absolutely, 100 percent, okay?

All right?

We done? Cool.

It's just so wild, you know,
I gave up my dog to be here.

- Like a top-of-the-line dog.
- Oh, really? Top-of-the-line?

Yeah. I just... (SIGHS)

I need you to be real with me.

Like, as a... as a friend.

One of my closest friends, actually.

Oh, Adam, I'm... I'm flattered.

What do you think?
Like, really, really think

about the Invisible Jackhammer?

Honestly, I think

the Invisible Jackhammer
is fucking badass.

DANIEL: Mm. Mm-hmm.

I'm not gonna look
like an asshole up there?

DANIEL: No, look.

I feel fucking excellent. Okay?

Anyone can do fucking... Ibsen.

When you're flying
through the air

on a jackhammer made
of sound waves,

- you look awesome.
- Really?

You look brilliant.
You're a genius.

In my opinion, the greatest
actor who ever lived.

- (CLEARS THROAT)
- Uh...

No, I'm not. Like-- (SCOFFS)

Don't make me repeat myself
because I won't.

It's just Peter.
He's fucking with me.

He's fucking with my head.
It's like...

He's trying to undermine me
in front of the new producer.

It's, like, maybe
the call sheet thing,

or 'cause I'm number one
and he doesn't like it?

You know, he's making faces,
unscripted faces, and like--

DANIEL: Okay,
I'm gonna talk to him. I will.

- Thank you. Thank you.
- Yeah.

You're so good at your job.

You know,
I might have lost a dog,

but I think I gained one too.

Oh, me? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Woof, woof.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Yeah. All right.

Daniel the Spaniel! (CHUCKLES)

Thanks.

Oh, don't mind me. I'm just
poking through your stuff.

If that's cool.

Movies, movies, movies.

Someone's a movie buff.

Shrink wrap?

Yeah, well, one day
when all this is done,

maybe I'll get to listen
to the director's commentary

on Eraserhead.

DAG: My God, dare to dream.

Okay,
I've got a question for you.

Have you ever thought,
"Am I killing cinema?"

Genuinely never
thought about it.

DAG: Because the, uh,
Invisible Jackhammer

got me thinking,
what if you are?

What if this isn't
a dream factory?

What if it's an abattoir,
you know?

And we've all got blood
on our hands

and fatty tissue on our faces

and we're sat here,
you know, eating sandwiches?

Dag, can you just stop talking?
Peck, peck, pecking away

like a fucking
question chicken, okay?

I'm happy to share my valuable
industry insights

and years of accumulated wisdom,
but I just...

Sorry for shouting.
I just need to figure out

how I'm going
to execute this stunt

before I lose my job.

Sorry. Thank you, I'm sorry.

I filled up your water bottle.

Well, that's really nice.

And you've made me look
like a prick.

Sorry.

Look, you seem really smart.

You're here now.

We're going to be
working together. That's great.

I just need you to
use your initiative, yeah?

Anita's got everyone panicked.
Like dogs in a washing machine.

Mm. Crazy idea. Why don't you
go and talk to her?

(CHUCKLES)

(SMACKS LIPS) Oh.

Bit of fun.

Yeah, that was Jim.
Third AD before you.

He threw that up there
before he killed himself.

(LAUGHS)

DANIEL: You know what? Fuck it.

ANITA: Enter.

Dan, hi. Good to see you.

Um...

Um...

- Eric wants his Moss--
- I'm so sorry
about this morning.

The emergency meeting,
the no-show.

Hope it didn't bump.

Nah, nah. Barely noticed really.

- Cool beans.
- ANITA: Great. Uh,

and I just wanted to make sure
things aren't gonna be

- weird between us.
- Anita, why would they be weird?

Because we were fucking
pretty successfully

for about six months
and then I started fucking

a very famous Australian actor
behind your back

and now I'm your boss?

I mean, I don't... I don't even
think about that stuff anymore.

Phew! (LAUGHS)
What a relief, because, um,

I may need to ream you out
in front of everyone.

Well, you can't shout
at the director,

so hit this bitch, right?

- Yeah, a hanging
in the town square.
- A hanging. A hanging?

A beating. A flogging. A...

- forensic crucifixion.
- Could we settle on a metaphor?

It serves two purposes.
One, spreads fear. Yum.

- Two, it buries the lede
about you and me.
- Okay, sure.

Because it would be very bad
if people knew we were...

Yeah, it's all right.
You can burn me.

I'm a human sacrifice.
I'm the Wicker Man!

Wicker Dan!

Is that shitty?
Is that bad friending?

(CLICKS TONGUE) Um...

- (CHUCKLES)
- Okay, look.

I need something in return.

Spread your fear, but
I need to sprinkle some hope.

Eric is demanding
his Moss Men back.

Hm. Can't do it, Daniel.
Need to show strength.

But I will grab you
for the hanging.

Yeah? Cool beans?

- Yes. The coolest of beans.
- ANITA: Hm.

DANIEL: Very fucking
uncool beans, Dag.

I'm about to get
hung out to dry.

Peter, sir? Do me a favor.

Um, can you go easy on Adam?

Oh my God. Have I done
something to upset him?

Christ, what a mess.

If there's anything I can do
in terms of the call sheet?

Call sheet? Please.

Not on my account.
I'm very low maintenance.

Now get that through your thick
fucking skull, Daniel.

Dan, new producer's asking
if this could be a good time

- to tear you a new one?
- Um...

Could she maybe not
in front of the crewmen?

Because they once
saw me applying hand lotion.

and, um, it didn't end well.

ANITA: Okay,
where's my first AD?

DANIEL: Happening anyway.

Hi, Daniel, nice to meet you.

Uh, can I just ask
why the fuck aren't we rolling?

- DANIEL: Um...
- ANITA: Oh, Eric!
Maestro, come on over!

I'm just trying to figure out
why your first AD here

is not taking care of you.

Ah. (CLICKS TONGUE)
Please go ahead.

ANITA: So, your director
is talking to the actors

for 52 minutes on average
before take one.

- ERIC: Yes, I am.
- ANITA: No disrespect to Eric,
who we love,

but you should not be allowing
him to do that much talking.

I need boundaries, Daniel.

Boundaries so he can
knock them down.

- Thank you, Steph.
- If this is a pile-on,
I should dial Shane.

Eleven setups per day,
which he will ask for

- because he's a visionary.
- No, please.

I'm sorry, but what the fuck
are you thinking?

BRYSON: Shane, hi.
Shellacking the first AD.

ANITA: You need to start
running things, Daniel.

It can feel
a little sloppy here sometimes.

DAG: It does sound like
a lot of setups

- when you hear it out loud.
- DANIEL: Yeah, cheers, Dag.

ANITA:
What the fuck are you doing?

BRYSON: Pat, sir?
We're apportioning blame
over here.

DAG: Oh no,
now the angry man's coming.

Dinner and a show,
don't mind if I do.

- You fucked up, son,
and now you gotta eat it.
- PAT: Oh-ho-ho!

ANITA: You need to be riding
this man like a stallion.

- Like a stallion.
- DAG: Ride him like a stallion.

But ride gently, okay?

And when you beat him,
carrot, not stick.

- (FORCED LAUGH)
- Hey, this isn't a witch hunt.

Well, I want to know why
it's not a witch hunt,

- and who can we blame?
- DANIEL: Funny.

ANITA: But hey, big stunt today.

Excited to see what you got.

- Right, Pat?
- PAT: That's right.

Yeah. Tick-tock.
Clock is ticking.

BRYSON: Yes, sir.
Daniel Kumar, first AD.

Possible subject
of a witch hunt.

K-U-M-A-R.

So sorry for weighing in.

It was just
a very infectious energy.

Well, I'm glad you had fun.

Now I just have to execute
with everyone watching me

or I could lose my job
or someone might die.

Okay, folks, game faces!
Positions, positions, positions!

- Keep saying positions. Show me.
- Positions, positions.

Heels up in three, two, one.

- DAG: Positions. Positions.
- DANIEL: Go.

No. Shit. That has to work.
Okay, two goes.

Peter's spine can only do
two more goes.

Sam. Do me a favor.
Peter's feeling quite frisky.

Let's keep him
on a tight leash. Thank you.

Daniel, I found Jamie VFX.

Jamie, pixel wizard,
how are you holding up?

I'm in the tunnel.

My wife said it's like I've been
dead for three months.

(LAUGHS) Yeah, listen.
Can we VFX 80 Moss Men?

Insanely expensive,
it'll look shit,

and the additional workload
might actually kill me.

But you could actually do it?

- I mean--
- Yes! Thank you, Jamie.

- JAZ: This way, Jamie.
- DANIEL: Good to see you.

Eric, VFX can tile
your Moss Men,

you'll get your crowd,
pinky promise,

- can we just shoot?
- DAG: Positions, positions...

Okay. Thank you!
Positions, positions.

- Almost ready, folks.
- (FILM CREW CLAMORING)

Almost ready.

PETER: You go telling tales,

and so I'm now
the fucking petty one.

(DANIEL CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY)

PETER:
Why are you jerking me back?

What are you doing?

Just gonna go ten-one.
Quick bathroom break.

JAZ: Mollusk Man going ten-one
behind a rock.

Had a large coffee.
Rookie error.

No, that's working.
Oh, fabulous.

(GROANS)
That is completely absorbed.

Headphones.
Who wants headphones?

(CHUCKLES) I know I do.

Lovely. Lovely.

Dag, what the fuck
are you doing?

I'm using my initiative.

Maybe if we can all hear,
we'll all be better at our jobs.

Okay. None of these people
can have headphones, okay?

It looks like I'm not
in control of my fucking set.

Sorry, folks.
Dan said no headphones.

I think maybe they're
a symbol of authority.

- Sorry, Mike.
- Sorry, Mike. Not the bad guy.

Positions! Can we just roll?

Hey, Dan. Ready? Excited to see.

DANIEL:
Excited to see you seeing.

- (BELL RINGING)
- (FILM CREW CHATTERING)

And action!

ADAM: One second, Eric. I--
One second, I gotta sneeze.

(SHUDDERS, EXHALES)

Okay, it's gone.

- Okay, I'm ready.
- CREW: We're rolling!

(EXHALES)

Invisible. Jacking it.

- (JACKHAMMER PROP KNOCKING)
- There.

Got it. Got it.

Okay, and...

Action!

- ♪ (HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
- (GRUNTS)

DANIEL: Cue Moss Men.

ADAM: It's hammer time!
(SNEEZES)

♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪

ADAM: Ah, shit. Sneezed.

- Sorry, sorry.
- And cut.

ADAM: Fucking allergies.
Fucking allergies.

- Cut there, thank you.
- (CREW CHATTERING)

- (CLAPBOARD CLAPS)
- ADAM: Er-- Eric,
can we use any of that?

Can we use any of that?

ERIC: No, Adam. Your face
was sneezy and unusable.

PETER: Poor number one. Gosh!
Maybe he's allergic to acting.

BRYSON: Letting Shane know
we still don't have the stunt.

- Okay, thank you.
- Thank you.

Not a good look, Dan.

Maybe I should
ream you out again?

Anita, look,
if I could speak freely?

- Friend level.
- Yeah.

DANIEL: If you want to turn
this movie around,

stop shouting.
Focus on the creative.

The studio has lost its way.

These movies are not hitting
the way they used to.

And I need your help.

Yeah, well, Shane's pulled
in all directions,

like an octopus
at a square dance.

DANIEL: Exactly.
The Invisible Jackhammer

is the perfect example.
I hated it in the comics.

I hated it in the cartoons.
It's totally ludicrous.

What is it even made of?

Oh, we've got
a science advisor from MIT,

but we broke his spirit

and now he just nods
everything through.

If Shane had the headspace,
if he was on it,

if he was here,
he'd say this is fucking dumb

and we should cut it.
Lose it from the movie.

He needs boots on the ground.
He needs us.

I can call him. Direct report.

I can talk to Shane
whenever I want.

Yes, that would be amazing.

- Just yank the emergency cord.
- Yank that fucking puppy.

- Save the movie.
- Save the day.

DANIEL: Save the universe.

We should, uh,
loop in Eric, though.

- Eric?
- Eric.

- Oh, Eric. Director Eric. Yes.
- Yeah.

Eric!

ERIC: Fuck the Jackhammer.

It was an albatross
from the start.

A giant invisible sea bird.

STEPH: It is not now, nor shall
it ever be, hammer time.

Hey, Anita. Heard you were
hoping to connect with Shane.

Thank you, Bryson. I'd like
to speak with him direct.

Okay.

Hey, Shane. Shane?

BRYSON: (OVER PHONE)
Hello, Anita. This is Bryson.

Shane is not available,

but Pat would like
to see you on C stage.

Thank you, of course.
That'd be a delight.

DANIEL: Okay, signal me
if you need backup. I'm here.

- (PIGEONS COOING)
- ANITA: Pat.

PAT: New soundstages
for Centurios 2,

our summer tentpole,

and we have an infestation
of fucking pigeons.

Lasers. Just to scare them.

We can't laser the birds
in half, nor do we wish to.

- (CLEARS THROAT)
Three o'clock, fire.
- (WINGS FLAPPING)

- ANITA: Pat. Pat, here. Um...
- PAT: What?

Do you think I might be able
to talk to Shane direct?

It's about
the Invisible Jackhammer.

Shane's just made
the incredibly painful decision

- to mothball The Sister Squad.
- PAT: Production was in chaos.

Writers were being hired
to do pre-writes on rewrites

- that hadn't even come in yet.
- It's canned? The whole movie?

It's like when you have
a beautiful dog,

but you have to smash its head
in with a hammer due to, uh...

- Circumstances?
- PAT: Exactly, circumstances.

Strategic pivot from way,
way upstairs.

Fewer releases.

Seems we gave the fans
too much content,

they choked on it. (CHUCKLES)

BRYSON: Hey, Todd,
let's aim for the eyes.

We really need
to send a message here.

- ANITA: But I'm okay, right?
- (WINGS FLAPPING)

ANITA: I mean, you know,
in terms of my position?

Well, Anita,
you should probably know

Shane's never been
a hundred percent on Tecto.

Excuse me?

Yeah, he got addicted
to announcing stuff.

He went on a hot streak
at Comic-Con

and nobody told him no.

- Now, here you are.
- ANITA: But, wait--

Todd? Super important that
we get this cleared. If I may?

ANITA: This is on Deadline,
okay? My name is attached.

I turned down Sofia fucking
Coppola to be here.

PAT: Okay. But then
we offered you a salary
you couldn't refuse. You know?

Listen to me.
Look at me. Look at me.

We have the utmost
confidence in you.

Your movie
will be released, okay?

If it's a fucking disaster,

and I strongly feel
it will not be,

I want to tell you, on my honor
as a Hollywood producer,

there's no way we'd pin this
on you, okay? No way.

Not how I operate.

- Incredibly reassuring, Pat.
- PAT: Glad to hear it.

(WINGS FLAPPING)

- PAT: Thanks, Anita.
- ANITA: Thanks, Pat.

BRYSON: Boom.
That is a direct and humane hit.

- PAT: Nice.
- BRYSON: (GASPS) The nest.

PAT: Bryson, light it up.
Blind those fucking birdies.

- So, can we lose the Jackhammer?
- The what?

ADAM: It's hammer time!

Whoo! We got it!

- ERIC: Cut!
- ADAM: Fuck you, Ipsen!

- Actually, once the CG is in...
- Yeah, I was gonna say,
once it's graded...

- ...and you're in the story...
- ...and you've got
all the sound effects...

- ...and you'll have
the color correct, and...
- ...and all the VFX, and...

Yeah, I don't mind it.

- Okay. Happiness, Eric?
- Happiness.

- Happiness.
- Happiness.

Pending Shane's happiness.

Still couldn't hear.

Okay, everyone,
we are moving on.

(FILM CREW CHATTERING)

Imagine plummeting
to our deaths. Big news story.

Then we'd see
whose fucking name comes first.

Guys!

Can we go down? My balls are...
I can't feel my balls.

I can't feel my balls.

♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

ANITA: Well, it's done now.
Onwards.

I just want this
to be a good film.

Smart people working hard.

- Yeah, I think we all want that.
- But like a really good one.

Because when you make
movies like this, but good,

there's nothing better.

Plus, decent gig.
Baby needs shoes.

Are we good?

(CLICKS TONGUE) Dan,
as your producer, we are great.

We are in great shape.

- DANIEL: Okay.
- As your friend,

Rome is burning.

Walls are tumbling down
and careers are being destroyed.

Daniel, if you care too much
about this job it will kill you.

We are not at war...
but we're at war.

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(LAUGHS) Fucking with you.

Yeah. Everything's great.

Nothing to worry about.
Night, Dan.

JAZ: Mollusk Man traveling.
Can someone de-rig his diaper?
Over.

Ooh, well, that's a wrappy
on the nappy.

"I am big. It's the nappies
that got small."

Actually, I've got quite
a long car journey home.

I'll just leave it on.

♪ (TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

INTERVIEWER: What's it like
working with Adam?

(CHUCKLES) Adam?

Adam, he's instinctual,
like a bear or a hog.

And I say this with,
you know, respect.

It's like working
with a chimpanzee,

which I've done twice, actually,
once with tragic consequences.

Awful story.
Bong-Bong was his name.

They caught him one day
stealing donuts

from the craft services,
which one must never do.

And so his owner,
in an attempt to chide him,

ended up beating him
to death with an axe handle.

Terrible, terrible,
and very messy.

Obviously, there was no chance
of the chimp doing any press

or publicity to promote
the movie after that.

How could he? He was dead.

So in the end, they brought in
a second chimp to do Carson.

Rum-Tum, I think it was.

Anyway, the whole press campaign

was a bit of a washout
after that.

I often think that's why

the movie never found
an audience.

Screenplay was terrific.

"Do You Take This Chimp?,"
it was called.

David Mamet did
an uncredited polish.

Bong-Bong.

Oh, I haven't thought about
poor little bugger for 30 years.

(SIGHS) Oh...

Or David Mamet, for that matter.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

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