Original subtitles

Here we go, guys.

The man you've all been waiting for.

Mr. Bob hope!

Welcome, everybody, to long binh,

or what I like to call the United States of Vietnam.

I hear you guys have been petitioning the president to let me retire.

If you think you can shake me off that easily,

you need to talk to Raquel Welch.

Come on, now.

Give it to her, Bob!

Uh-huh.

S. Alexander.

Yes.

Well, right now I want you all

to sit back and relax.

It's time to introduce the most beautiful girl in the world.

Of course, that's not my opinion, that's her actual title.

From Vienna, Austria, please welcome 1969 miss world,

Eva roo-er bershty-er.

34-24-36.

There ya go, boys.

This hill just got a lot hotter.

Eva, honey, would you like to say hello to these fellas?

Hello.

The mature student.

Sally Alexander.

Yes.

So, history...

Why have we never had a revolution in britain?

Eva rueber-staier.

Oh, boy. Ooh, I'm telling ya.

If the commies had someone like that to go home to,

we'd be out of here by now.

Oh, yeah.

The civil war was won by the rebels, but even then,

the new order only lasted a generation.

So surely the real question is, why have all our revolutions failed?

It says here you left school at 15.

My school didn't really, uh, foster academic ambition.

It was more about preparing us for marriage and so forth, so...

Uh, w-which is why I would like to get back into education.

Um, I have just completed my diploma in...

At ruskin college.

Yes.

Don't they require a trade union background?

I-I have a trade union background.

I was an equity member.

So you're an actress?

No, uh...

After school, I had to do something and...

And my mother thought that drama school

sounded better than secretarial college, so...

I was never any good.

I don't like people looking at me.

And after drama school?

Uh, I got married and had a baby.

What does your husband think about you

applying for university as a mature student?

Well, we're divorced, so it doesn't really matter what he thinks.

You have a child, miss Alexander.

Studying here is a big commitment.

Yes. Uh...

I managed my diploma whilst looking after my daughter. I got a distinction.

Um, and the man I live with shares the childcare, so...

I would never be late for lectures or... Or miss deadlines.

I-I would be mature.

I would be a... A mature mature student.

Oh, it's awesome!

All right, go, go, go! Come on! Go, go, go!

I seen that!

- Hello. - Sally.

- Oh, uh, we're gonna need more chairs. - Oh, okay.

Here's mummy.

- Hello! - Mummy!

Oh! Hello!

What...

It arrived this morning after you left.

Oh...

Uh...

University college London.

They're offering me a place! I got in!

Of course they bloody did! =-oh!

I'm...

Oh, give me a hug! Give me a hug! Oh! Oh!

"It is my great pleasure to offer you a place to study history

at university college London.” =I can't believe it.

I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

I thought this was a woman's conference, why are there men everywhere?

They don't look that happy about it, do they? Look at that face.

Oh, god. Cheer up, mate.

We're not permanent, we're only here for the weekend.

You can have a party hat.

Don't you worry, mate, we're not gonna leave you out.

Um, excuse me.

Sorry. Do you mind?

Somebody's gonna have to clean that up when you're gone.

What? 'Cause god forbid we should offend the authorities?

Typical Oxford student. Most of them look for a fight.

Well, actually, I'm not an Oxford student.

This is a place for people who are trying to get into university.

Oh, right.

So you don't want to bring down the male establishment,

you just want a seat at the table.

Well, if I'm in it, it won't be the male establishment anymore, will it?

Ooh, there she is. Let's sit down. Go.

What does it mean to be a woman?

That our work will be underpaid and our minds undervalued.

Last year when we proposed a women's conference, men laughed.

And yet here we are, on the road to liberation.

It won't be easy.

We have to recognize the ways in which we've all been conditioned.

Trained to be pleasing, rather than powerful.

Told that our purpose is to enable men, serve them, service them.

We have to find a language to describe injustices

we haven't even been able to name until now.

If the word "racism" describes one tyranny,

doesn't "sexism" describe another?

The belief that women are inferior to men.

We have to learn to look at the world with new eyes.

We have to ask ourselves, if there was no patriarchy,

how would I dress?

Or work?

Or think?

How would I have sex?

And who would I have sex with?

No one.

But if we need to change, so does the world.

Which is why today we are launching the women's liberation movement!

We demand an end to discrimination!

We demand equal pay for equal work,

and the childcare to enable that!

We want control of our own bodies!

Contraception and abortion on demand!

Up until now, working as individuals,

we've just been a ripple on the surface.

But together...

Together, I promise you,

we will be a revolution!

J ooh j

ooh j

ooh j

ooh j

ooh j

ooh j

j is for a little respect j

when you come home j = just a little bit j.

; Hey, baby => just a little bit j

I when you get home j => just a little bit j;

= mister ; => just a little bit j

j I ain't gonna do you wrong

j; While you're gone j

I' ain't gonna do you wrong =; Ooh

ooh j

j all I'm askin'; = ooh

j is for a little respect j

miss Bristol.

Miss Bristol is 34-22-36.

Well, a lovely face, obviously.

Uh, good legs.

No defects, knock knees, wonky teeth, that sort of thing.

Uh, they also have to be unmarried, by which I also mean untouched.

And if they're not pretty much 36-24-36,

it goes without saying the curves won't be in the right places.

But we really do believe that beauty isn't just skin deep.

The girls also get marks on charm and grace, deportment...

Swimsuits.

And who's your money on?

Well, miss totnes is definitely a corker.

Nice eyes.

And, uh, whatever she may be lacking in the boob front,

she more than makes up for it in the derriere department.

Miss nantwich.

And I wouldn't rule out miss, uh, miss nantwich, either.

Lovely blonde hair and a very nice set of curves.

Very nice... miss nantwich.

And for the miss world competition,

what about this year's special guest?

Who have you got lined up for us?

Who indeed, boys, eh?

Who indeed.

Ladies and gentlemen,

a warm round of applause please for our seven lovely finalists.

Who in-bloody-deed?

We have in first place miss nantwich!

Golf?

Oh, I just have a little work to do.

Hiring.

Again?

And you must be Joan.

Wow.

Bob.

Joan billings.

- And right this way. - Thank you.

- How old are you, honey? - Eighteen.

Eighteen. Pretty as springtime.

Good morning, Mr. hope.

Hi.

Welcome to the fort Knox of laughter.

Wow.

Got a whole warehouse full of this stuff.

Fifty years of memorabilia just waiting for the Bob hope museum.

Just gotta get around to building that museum.

We got all my gags, 538,000 of 'em.

Every cabinet is fireproof and earthquake-proof.

Isn't it something?

Wow, Mr. hope. Wow.

"Academy awards, advertising, agriculture, airplanes..."

Yeah, we got every subject under the sun, a to z.

Little group of writers down there toiling 24/7 like worker bees,

just...

Oh, "magicians, Malibu, marriage, massage..."

Bob hope's office.

Go ahead, pick one out.

Sir, it's, uh, mecca calling again.

The miss world people.

All right, you wanna handle this one, miss billings? What do you think?

Show me what you can do.

Hello, this is miss billings,

Mr. hope's personal secretary.

I-I'm sorry to keep badgering you,

but if you could just let us know either way,

we would be so terribly grateful.

Yes, I understand.

Please hold for a moment.

She's asking someone.

Let's hope it's not Mrs. hope,

do I wanna host the miss world competition?

Well, that's a big decision for a boy to make all on his own.

What do you think, miss billings?

Do I wanna host the miss world competition this year?

Sure you do. I've always loved that show.

All right, let 'em know.

Mr. hope has just confirmed that he'd be delighted to join you again.

That is marvelous news! =-oh!

Eric will be so pleased. Thank you. Many thanks.

Goodbye. =yesl!

Onwards and upwards.

Well done, Mrs. morley.

Thank you, Mr. morley.

Well, I think we should celebrate. What do you say?

Oh. Sure, Mr. hope.

What'll it be? Scotch and sofa or gin and platonic?

It's not about context. Some things are universal.

The point is that it isn't true.

Not when you consider historicism as a theory.

- But don't you think... - Historicism isn't a theory.

- It's just some marxist pseudoscience. - But that wasn't the point. The...

Of course you'd say that, you're a bloody imperialist.

- Argumentum ad hominem. - All right, gentlemen.

Thank you. Interesting opinions all around.

I look forward to more of the same next week.

Excuse me? Hello?

Can't talk now.

Look, I-I don't wanna talk, I just wanna tell you that... the police!

=oh, shit! Run! 0i, you two! Come back!

Come on!

Come in here!

Oh, my god! What is the point?

What is the point in getting arrested just for...

Sloganizing?

I like slogans.

Blimey, that looks racy.

So, you enjoying your seat at the table?

Very much. Thank you.

I'm starting a women's group.

Every Wednesday,

29 Grosvenor Avenue, Islington 6:00.

You should come.

I-I'm busy wednesdays.

- Got homework? - Leafleting.

Leafleting?

We're helping women cleaners unionize. You should come along.

Uh...

Thanks, but I don't really do organized.

That's all right, I don't really do illegal.

Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find us.

Just ask for the commune.

Enjoy your leaflets.

And she told me that her daughter, who is also a divorcée,

remarried in the sweetest little frock from marks & Spencer, would you believe?

Clothes from a clothes shop. Who'd have thought?

The frock isn't the point, as you know.

Come on, sweetheart. Let granny do your tangles.

You look tired, darling.

Is it still all essays and reading?

Don't they ever have socials or dances you and gareth could go to?

You know me, Evelyn. I'm not one for dancing.

Veteran comedian Bob hope

has been confirmed as the special guest at this year's miss world competition.

Oh, leave it there.

Last year, a hundred million people tuned in live

to watch miss Austria take the crown,

more viewers than saw either the moon landings

or the world cup final.

Oh, isn't she lovely?

Lovely long legs.

I wish I'd had legs like that.

The miss world win has taken Eva rueber-staier all around the globe.

- Like true royalty... - I'm a miss world lady.

You look beautiful, darling.

Mom, don't.

Oh, you and your sisters used to love playing miss world.

The thrill of being the most beautiful girl...

I don't want Abi watching that. It's degrading and sexist.

For goodness sake, what does that even mean?

Right. I'm gonna put supper on.

Well, I think that's sexist.

Making poor gareth cook dinner.

I wish you'd be careful, darling. Some of your attitudes, they're very...

Emasculating.

Look at you. Give us a twirl.

Hello.

"21st century schizoid man."

Not "court of the crimson king"?

"Schizoid" every time, man. Every time.

Have you bloody seen it? Topless model on page three.

We should go and burn their bloody offices down.

That would put women's liberation on the map.

Well, I've got matches. Anyone got the bus fare to fleet street?

- I'm serious. - Isn't arson a bit male, anyway?

Oh, uh...

Everyone, this is...

What's your name?

Sally.

She's a student.

Hello. Hi.

= =====

- well, come in. - Sorry.

Well, I'm just saying you can talk all you like,

but unless we start taking direct action, nothing's gonna change.

You know, there's a motion to demonstrate outside the miss world contest.

Oh. Who proposed that?

Hazel twort and jan Williams from the peckham rye women's group.

There's a meeting about it next week at the women's liberation workshop.

What is the point in wasting our time on a beauty pageant

when there are serious injustices to worry about?

Uh, sexual objectification is serious.

Yeah, that competition is one big fat celebration of oppression.

What really gets me is they sell it as family entertainment.

My daughter was watching a television report the other day and I...

You got a television?

Yes.

Haven't you?

The media is a mouthpiece for the establishment, which...

This commune doesn't collude with on any level.

So, no, we don't have a television.

But, um, if you won't talk to the media,

then how are you gonna get your message out?

Well, come on, then. Sara, come with me.

Where are we going?

You'll see.

Do you like them? They're good, aren't they?

Is this what you do?

Oh, not for money, if that's what you mean.

How do you live, then?

I do some cleaning. Jo paints scenery.

We share money like we share everything else.

We keep it in a drawer in the kitchen.

Don't Nick it, will ya?

Jo went to art college. She's very creative.

I've seen some of her work.

I went to art college, too, actually.

Come on, then. You write the message.

We'll make sure everyone sees it.

You're an elusive man, Mr. morley.

Peter hain, anti-apartheid movement.

Never get involved in anything political, son.

We're a family entertainment show.

Well, taking only white candidates from a predominantly black country every year

is political, Mr. morley.

In fact, I'd say it's an unequivocal endorsement of a racist regime.

Eighty percent of South Africa's population are black or colored.

And they have no rights. None.

Excuse me.

They tell me 27 million people watch your show in the uk alone.

Jesus, man, that's an endorsement that packs quite a punch.

So you get the south African cricket team banned

and now it's my turn, is it?

Boycott the south African candidate or we picket the show.

Trust me, your sponsors won't thank you for that kind of publicity.

And what would you say if I was to tell you

we've decided to take a white and a colored girl this year?

You're joking, aren't you?

I thought that'd take the wind out of your sails.

See him out, will ya?

Well, you heard the man. This way.

Get on the south African office.

Tell them to find a decent-looking black girl.

Get her on the same flight as the white girl, asap!

South African office, please.

I think you'll find I'm a man not much given to joking, Mr. hain.

Eric, I need a word.

Some group calling themselves the women's liberation movement.

Apparently they're going to overthrow the patriarchy.

Overthrow the what?

The patriarchy.

Male establishment.

Men like you, Eric.

I've been getting calls from journalists. They want to know our response.

Bloody women's liberation.

I told you, by the time I found out, she had already committed me to the show.

It was too late to pull out.

The naughty little intern twist your arm?

Doll, I'm giving a show, that's it. In, out, end of story.

That wasn't how the story ended last time.

You wanna stay home? Is that what you're saying?

Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?

No. I wouldn't. I...

Listen, I wouldn't like that one bit.

Oh, come on. We can go to London, have some fun.

Lord, you've got a sweet tongue when you know you're in the wrong.

I don't know what you want.

An apology.

"Never again.” that's what you said.

"Miss world, never again.”

Ten years ago.

It was still a promise.

Oh, my wife, because you are so good...

Oh, Bob, don't.

Please forgive me for the sins that I have committed.

Oh, stop it, I said!

And by your good grace, I will not sin again.

Everything locked down, sir.

Lifts disabled, second and third floor sealed like fort Knox.

Right. So we've had all kinds of fun and games in the past

with amorous romeos,

but this year our problem's a bunch of antiestablishment mischief-makers.

So, chaperones, stick to your contestants like glue.

Anything untoward, Mrs. morley needs to know about it.

Any time, day or night.

Bus coach arriving.

And you boys on security,

I'm not employing you to stand around looking like James Bond.

Eves and ears open the whole time, please.

- Is that understood? - Yes, sir.

- Is that understood? - Yes, sir!

Philippines.

Yugoslavia. Hi.

Australia.

Ceylon.

Japan. Hello.

That looked like Hong Kong.

Grenada.

Next. Oh.

Ecuador.

Portugal.

Jennifer hosten.

Roger, we cannot have a situation where we have more contestants than chaperones.

Do you think somebody could've gone to the toilet?

- It's possible. - Well, could you check?

- I can do. - Okay. Well, don't go in there, but check.

Oh, my. What a reception.

Which country are you from?

Grenada.

Oh, my.

Oh, my.

First time away from home?

First time away from home.

First time on a plane.

First time being so cold.

I'm the first black south African to take part in miss world.

I'm the first miss Grenada, too.

It must be...

Very different.

Yes.

Very different.

Africa south. I'm your chaperone. I'm going to be looking after you.

No need to look so worried. We're going to take very good care of you.

Everyone has to have a chaperone.

A chaperone? Why do I need a chaperone?

It's a mecca requirement, miss Sweden, as stipulated by the contract you signed.

Mrs. MacKenzie is trained to the highest standards.

Come along now, miss Sweden.

- Up to measurement. - I can walk, thank you.

No sticking out. =I'm not.

Thirty-five.

- Country? - Um, South Africa.

Thirty-three.

Twenty-seven.

- Country? - Grenada.

Thirty-two.

Country? Sweden.

Thirty-three.

Twenty-six.

Thirty-two.

Just a statutory padding check, dear.

Next one, please.

- Country? - United Kingdom.

Thirty-two.

Thirty-five.

Twenty-six.

Thirty-one.

You know, maybe things are different in Sweden,

but you should try starting out in nowhere, Illinois.

I'm telling you, if I hadn't of won a beauty pageant and kept on winning,

my life would have amounted to Jack shit.

The girl who wins this thing is gonna take home $6,000,

maybe even earn 30 more.

Just accept that the female of the species...

- Country? - Grenada.

And the smart girl just has to work at how to wiggle around 'em.

If being smart is all it takes,

then how come no black girl has ever won this competition?

Maybe sometimes wiggling isn't enough.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you couldn't win.

Nice big smiles.

Teeth.

Nice tight bottoms.

So, ladies, a, uh, a big, uh, mecca welcome to you all.

We're delighted to have you with us.

And remember, you're the most beautiful girls in the world.

All right? =-teeth.

Bring 'em in.

Hello, London!

- Miss Sweden! - Miss Sweden! Show us your legs!

Miss Sweden! Come on, show us those blue eyes!

This way. So, we're up over here.

Are you nervous or excited about being the bookies' favorite?

Nervous??

Not particularly.

Miss uk!

Hello.

Yes, thank you.

Here we are.

How about an arm around each other, girls?

So which one are you, love?

Well, I'm miss South Africa and, uh, she's miss...

I think you're miss South Africa and I'm miss Africa south, aren't I?

Uh, anti-apartheid spokesmen are saying South Africa

should be banned from the competition.

Where do you both stand on that?

Back home, you wouldn't be allowed in the same bus,

- let alone the same competition. - All right, gentlemen.

That's quite enough. You know the rules. Let's leave politics to the politicians.

- It's a perfectly... - Thank you.

For Pete's sake.

Show us your legs, Julia.

Oi, oi, oi, oi!

She's the organizing director, you disrespectful little toad.

- It was a perfectly val... - Get him out!

It was a valid question!

Come on. Come on.

"Anti-apartheid campaigners have described the decision

to include both a white and black south African contestant

as a spineless attempt to whitewash a monstrous regime."

That rag, it's only fit for chips.

It's the same in all of them.

Which judges do we have so far?

Oh... Joan Collins, Glen Campbell, the executive from the BBC...

And oh, god, that folksy Danish singer.

What's her name? =nina.

You know, sometimes I think for Eric

it will be forever be the 1950s.

Well, I'm afraid we must either adapt...

Or die.

Right.

Anyone who thinks this isn't a good idea?

No.

Anyone against?

What about trying to find some other women's groups from out of town?

Yes.

The more the merrier. =yeah.

Hazel twort from peckham rye.

We'd like to know which group released this communiqué to the press.

- Don"t think it came from us. - Definitely wasn't us.

Uh... Jo Robinson, Grosvenor Avenue.

We, uh...

Well, we thought we'd get the message out in advance.

Put us on the map.

We agreed at the last meeting

to make the action at miss world a surprise happening.

You people from Grosvenor Avenue,

you can't go around making unilateral decisions.

We have a problem with compliance.

Well, now the BBC want a spokesman to represent our position on television.

Peckham rye doesn't have a spokesman.

And we don't engage with the media, so...

Uh, well, Sally Alexander...

From the association of student leafleters, she'll do it.

Now what the hell are you playing at?

What? You wrote it.

You printed it.

Well, no one else is gonna do it.

You're the one who thinks the media matters.

That doesn't mean that you can volunteer me to go on television.

Ah, don't be so bloody spineless.

It was your idea.

Stand by it.

Well, I'm afraid after all these exciting pastimes,

judging a beauty contest may seem rather tame.

- You have to look at... - Mrs. morley.

Forgive my interruption.

Sir Eric gairy.

The prime minister of Grenada.

Delighted to meet you, Mr. prime minister.

Mm. Gentlemen.

Please.

Since this is the first year my country has taken part in the competition,

I thought it rude not to introduce myself.

Uh, I must confess to some curiosity,

seeing so charming a woman in the commonwealth club.

There's no great mystery, I can assure you.

I have the very pleasant task of briefing our three new judges.

The ambassador of Indonesia,

his excellency, the high commissioner of Malawi,

and his royal highness, the maharaja of baroda.

You prove your critics wrong, Mrs. morley.

Miss world does move with the times.

It does indeed.

And just think, if you were also to appoint me as a judge,

you'd have representatives from Asia, Africa, and the Caribbean.

What could be more progressive?

Indeed.

Uh, this way, please.

Uh, take a seat here, please. Thanks.

Uh, lord bly, Marjorie Jones, Sally Alexander.

I wonder, do you think you might be able to find

a couple of seats for miss world this year?

- Of course. - I took a liking to miss Sweden.

Lord bly.

Robin.

Ladies. Looking rather lovely, if I may say.

We'll be going live in ten seconds.

Well, my dear,

you're certainly kicking up a stink about something.

I simply don't understand the problem.

Our objection isn't to the women involved in miss world.

So what exactly is your objection?

Our objection is not to the women.

You've already said that. Answer the question.

Our objection is to the system which accords value

solely on the basis of a culturally imposed physical standard.

I don't even understand what that means.

Maybe I'm just too pretty.

Beautiful girls have been admired since time immemorial.

Women are not objects. We are not ornaments.

We are not here for the pleasure of others.

Sally is every bit as pretty as her.

You're saying that they should be outlawed.

Well, what possible harm can there be in a pretty girl displaying her charms?

A woman like Marjorie is not forced to take part in these competitions.

She enters of her own free will.

Exactly. I think you women's libbers are just a bunch of killjoys

who want to deny the public a bit of innocent fun.

Ah.

We are not attacking Marjorie or any other contestant.

We are protesting because this competition symbolizes our exploitation.

Why should Marjorie have to earn her place in the world

why should I? Why should any woman?

You don't. He doesn't.

Why should we?

Has, uh, she got a point?

Well, I don't deny her sincerity,

but to demand that miss world be banned?

I mean, it's overemotional, puritanical nonsense.

The only other forum in which participants are weighed, measured,

and publicly examined before being assigned their value...

Is a cattle market.

A cattle market?

Well, that's an unappealing analogy.

- And we're off air. - Oh, very good.

Thank you very much, everyone. That, uh, went very well.

Thank you, Robin.

Lord bly and miss, uh... Jones.

You did very well, young lady.

It was extremely clear. Very well spoken.

I mean, I really enjoyed my time in the pageant.

I don't really know what she's talking about.

I'm sure everyone did,

and enjoyed watching it.

Baffling.

This rehearsal is your chance to get it right,

because if you fall flat on your face down this hole or that hole on the night,

the world and his wife will be watching.

- Isn"t that right, clive? - Uh, that is correct.

Now, what I need you all to do now is to make a line all along here,

all along the hall, from "a" to "2."

Alphabetical order, please. Come on. Hurry. Not on the stage, darling, please.

Get her off the stage.

- A-b-c. Alphabetical order. - Come around the edge of the stage.

Come on, we've got a live show in three days' time.

- Herd them! Herd them! Herd them out! - Keep moving. Keep moving.

- Keep moving. - Herd them, clive.

I'm Grenada. "G." =I should be here.

Clive, have a look at Japan.

Right, Japan, find the right space.

Straight. Straight line. Uh...

Yugoslavia.

What are you doing up here? That's "a." Where does "y" go?

Right at the back. Let's get you down here.

Look at her go. There we go.

F-g-h-i-j-k-l-m-n-0-p-q-r-s-t-u-v-w-x...

Yugoslavia. Thank you very much.

And through the portal.

Through the portal and smiling all the time.

Brazil, Brazil, eyes on me, please.

Stop or there will be accidents.

This is a treacherous stage.

Smile to camera one.

Lovely smile.

The whole world is watching.

And walking.

And walking, and we're walking, and mind the step.

Keep smiling. Looking up, looking up.

There we are.

And we stop here, and we turn to camera two.

Where's... Where's camera two? Clive?

Where's camera two? I'm telling her to turn to camera two.

There's no camera. Clive?

I mean, come on, it's not bloody rocket science.

Right, camera two.

- Where is it? - Right.

- Can someone please find camera two? - Chop, chop.

I-I'll stand in for... She can smile at me.

Clive's gonna stand in. Clive is camera two, everyone.

Clive's standing in. Clive's gonna be...

Don't do that, clive. Don't do the hands thing. Stand there.

Don't do anything a camera wouldn't do.

Maybe hold a two up so the girls know it's a two.

Leave it there, okay?

There we are. So that's camera two.

Clive is camera two.

Give clive a smile. Keep smiling any way you like.

Back and back and back. Mind the step.

Good girl, good girl. This is camera three.

This is camera three's big derriere shot.

I'm going to get some fresh air.

Oh, I'm afraid you can't do that without me.

- Miss Sweden? - My name is maj christel Johansson.

Miss Johansson, please,

just give me two minutes while I get my bag.

This way. Step, step, step, step, step.

Maj, it's Jennifer.

You all right? Come on in.

You're so serene.

I mean, how do you put up with this bullshit?

You are a very lucky person if you think this is being treated badly.

After all, you're the favorite to win.

I don't want to be the favorite if this is what it gets me.

There's no point swimming against the tide.

One just has to rise with it.

What do you do... When you're not being ordered around

by a funny english man with strange hair?

I'm an air hostess.

But my ambition is to work in broadcasting.

For real?

Or just for them to say, "miss Grenada's ambition is..."

For real.

You'd be a good broadcaster.

You speak so nicely.

I was properly raised.

My father's a lawyer, and my mother's a teacher.

"Elocution and deportment matter, Jennifer."

I work as a model, but I'd like to study.

I thought with the prize money, I could maybe come to england and...

But it's all just people pushing you around

and flashbulbs in your face the whole time.

Not so many flashbulbs for me.

Like I said, it's all bullshit.

I mean, doesn't it make you angry?

You know, I think maybe...

It makes me more determined.

Congratulations.

Bloody hell, clive, don't take it so seriously.

Just leave, leave the crown.

- Do you want me to just adjust... - Leave the cloak, leave the cloak.

- Just... - Yeah.

J da-Dee-da j

j da-Dee

da.

Big smile on the face.

Gold crown on the head.

Walking down the catwalk, minding the step, of course.

It's a bloody dream come true.

Who would've believed it? Little me... miss world.

And taking it all in.

Un, deux, trois...

Uno, due...

Crying if you like. You will cry.

Yes, yes, yes, I am she.

I am miss world. I am the one.

The beautiful one.

I am free.

I am she.

Miss miss world.

I like that uniform of yours.

We could dazzle the enemy into submission.

Oh, absolutely.

You are funny, Mr. hope.

I'm serious. This man knows what I'm talking about.

Look at him.

Him, too.

You know, it's the funniest thing, Archie.

The last time Bob guested on this show...

Oh, it must be ten years ago now...

He brought the winning girl home with him.

Got it into his head he was going to make a movie star out of her.

It turned out she didn't have the least aptitude for it.

She's still in California, as a matter of fact.

Though what she lives off, lord alone knows.

I suppose she found herself a sugar daddy somewhere.

I'm sure she was grateful for the break.

I know I am.

How's my script coming, Archie?

We were thinking we could make something of the fact your folks were British.

Uh, you know, as an opener.

Um...

"Of course, I was born here in London.

You can probably tell from the accent.”

Idea is I'm supposed to be funny.

Let's try and keep it that way, huh?

So, topics for the dissertations.

How are you getting on?

No. No, sorry.

Hmm.

The industrial revolution in Scotland.

Good choice. Sally?

Um, I was thinking about looking at it from the point of view of women workers.

Mm, it's a bit niche.

Might want to rethink.

Or at least refocus.

Uh... Sorry, re... re... refocus how?

Uh, perhaps broaden the scope a little.

You know, I saw you on TV.

Sally was on TV?

Yeah. =0oh.

Interesting stuff, but don't let it draw you into a cul-de-sac,

academically speaking.

Your subject needs to have a genuine relevance.

Best to steer clear of more...

Minority interests.

Lawrence, uh, you need to register your topic by next week.

All right, let's load it up. These go inside.

Camera gear needs to go, too.

- Oh, hiya. - Sorry I'm late.

You haven't missed anything.

We've just been smoking and watching, like in 2A heist film.

You all right?

Yes, I'm fine.

Well, there's obviously something wrong.

Why don't you just say?

Turns out my seat at the table is actually a high chair.

What, and you're surprised?

That's Eric morley.

Who?

Mr. miss world.

Is this going to come forward?

The man who invented this competition. That's his wife.

Then the cars will all come in.

- Yeah. - Right.

On the night, all this area will be shut down,

cordoned off, nice and secure.

Making sure we keep on top of every situation.

- We'd infiltrate the theater. - I don't get what she's talking about.

She's talking about a happening.

An unrehearsed happening.

- What does that actually mean? - A planned invasion.

What do you mean, infiltrate?

Do you mean go inside?

Why not? That's where the cameras will be.

Probably against the law, for a start.

They're turning oppression into spectacle.

Let's make a spectacle of our own.

We'd still demonstrate outside.

Of course, we'd just have an action inside as well.

Who'd be prepared to go inside?

Me. Yeah.

Oh, hold on. How do we actually get in without being caught?

We buy tickets.

Unless that's too organized.

And you lot would... You'd have to blend in.

Communal clothes.

Whoo!

Oh, wow!

Oh, I love them.

No, you look like a bag lady.

What? I look like you.

It's what you're wearing.

This is your style.

Well, look, just... would you...

Oh, getting serious. Oh, god, I can't breathe.

Shoes.

Oh.

Ladylike.

I look exactly like my mother.

I look like my mother's sofa.

I look like the kind of women I never, ever want to be.

Perfect.

J I'm alive j

j and I see things mighty clear today »

j I'm alive j

j I'm alive j

j and I'm breathing clean fresh air today 7

>I'm alive... j

- what next? - How about,

"I'm not beautiful, I'm not ugly, I'm angry."

Yes! Yay! Ha ha!

Thank you!

J you better believe me j

j oh I?

J I'm no stone j

j and I'm no rock... j

we're not beautiful, we're not ugly,

w e' re angry!

J and I'm alive, I'm alive, alive j

Make it a little lower, if you like.

This is so nice.

I know.

Sometimes I can't believe it's really happening.

I'm a machinist in a shoe factory,

and when the boss came to say that I was going to London,

everyone on the shop floor was cheering.

Standing up and cheering.

Now I'm... I'm here.

Will it be hard... going back?

I can't talk about that.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry.

The authorities... warned me.

They said if I talk about home...

They won't let me back.

I won't get to see my parents again.

- What? - Before I got on the plane,

they showed me all these photographs

of people I'm supposed to have nothing to do with.

What kind of people?

Certain journalists,

a man called Peter hain,

political people.

I miss home.

I want to see my parents again.

Maybe home will be different

if you're miss world.

We're not going... to be miss world.

Girls, do you want to dance some salsa?

- Yeah! - Girls, we're gonna dance the salsa.

Come on, come on, dance!

And one step forward, one step back.

J ba ba, ba-da-ba-ba j

jba ba, ba-da-ba-ba j

j ba ba, ba-da-ba-ba j

jba ba, ba-da-ba-ba j

jba ba j

uh... huh...

A little...

Cupid bow lip.

Perfect. Now, what do you think?

Oh, my.

Glamorous lady.

Let's get your hair back.

Sorry! Sorry!

I know, I'm really late.

- What are you still doing up? - Look at my face!

She didn't want to go to bed until she'd seen you.

Mum, you've put lipstick on her?

Ohh. Granny says you're very naughty.

I'm really sorry. What if I hadn't been here?

What if I'd had plans?

Mum, I really appreciate everything you do, I...

I am so sorry.

All this whining and complaining about the "patriarchy"...

Other girls are perfectly happy as they are.

Well, I'm not a girl, I'm a woman.

Heaven's sake, Sally, look at yourself.

Divorced, living in chaos,

and spending every spare hour you've got campaigning.

What normal woman would choose to live like you?

Abi, could you go and put your own pajamas on, please,

and wash that off your face? I'll be in in 2A minute.

Thank you.

And while you're off with your fanatics,

gareth and I are looking after your daughter.

Seems to me liberation just means getting someone else

to do your job for you.

So you think it's all right, do you,

that one-half of the world has all the power

and the other half just has to lump it?

Don't be so melodramatic.

Don't be so blind!

You couldn't even get a bank account without dad's permission.

The doctor wouldn't give you birth control!

That was one bank manager and one doctor.

Just because you swallowed it doesn't mean I have to.

Do you know what really makes me laugh about all this?

You fighting for women's rights when you always took your father's side.

"When I grow up, I want to be like daddy."

That's because he did things.

He... he smoked cigarettes and went in taxis and had adventures.

I wanted to have adventures.

I'm sorry that you found me so dull.

I didn't find you dull, you were just trapped.

You were trapped in a restrictive, pokey little domestic world

with no aspiration and no opportunity.

Of course I didn't want to be you.

Nobody should have to be you... That's the point.

And what would have happened to you and your sisters...

If I had thought like you, if I had done what you're doing?

Neglected my pokey little domestic world.

Neglected my marriage. Neglected my children.

You think you can have the same freedoms as a man,

but you can't.

You can't.

- Yeah. - Mr. morley,

we've got a situation, sir.

Anarchists have attacked ohne of the vans outside the venue.

- What's that? - Anarchists.

Mr. morley. Sir?

Well, if the anarchists want to have a pop,

they can join the bloody queue, but they'll have to get through me first!

Anarchists?

She's sleeping.

Sal. Sal.

What?

Something's happened.

There's been a bomb outside the theater.

There's gonna be more security, more police.

I'm so sorry.

About what?

Well, that you're gonna have to call it off.

Well... no.

No, I...

We'll just be more careful.

Careful?

It was a bomb.

Yes, I understand that.

If anything kicks off, the authorities aren't gonna muck about.

What if you get arrested?

The university will just Chuck you out.

- What about Abi? - It's not your decision.

No, but you know bloody well I'm right.

Yeah, comin'.

Oh! Blimey, you're early.

Come in. Do you want a brew?

- I just put the kettle on. - Jo, I...

They're ramping up security at the theater. Somebody planted a...

Bomb. Yeah, we heard.

It was the angry brigade.

Well, it's not gonna change anything for us, though, is it?

We're not gonna let their action scupper ours.

Oh, I see.

What, has it got a bit too risky now. Has it?

A bit too much like the real thing?

I-I-came to warn you,

but seeing as you already know...

Don't worry. Go on, bugger off home.

Leave it to us to make sure your daughter

doesn't have to grow up in the same shitty world we did.

But just remember, right, you get the world you deserve,

and if you don't fight, you deserve the world you fuckin' get.

- It wasn't in the venue itself... - No, no, Julia,

well, hell, I just want to know you people aren't gonna screw this thing up again.

Where's Eric in all this? Where's your husband?

Well, actually...

You know, I read there were protests planned.

Were you gonna mention that,

or did you figure they'd be more fun if they came as a surprise?

We're not beautiful, we're not ugly,

w e' re angry!

We're not beautiful, we're not ugly, we're angry!

We're not beautiful, we're not ugly...

There you go, Andy. I'm gonna give you this.

There you go, Mr. dirty, do you feel better now?

Now I'm gonna bandage you up.

Does your arm hurt a little bit? It's a very long bandage.

I just want you to be safe.

I know. =-sal...

I know.

Equality for women!

We're not beautiful, we're not ugly...

Shame on youl!

We want equality now! We want equality now!

So this is the eye of revolution, huh?

My god.

Up close, it sure is revolting.

We want liberation!

Over here, miss

open your bag, please.

Good evening.

- Is everything all right? - Everything running like clockwork, sir.

Hello there.

Thank you.

Miss? Miss? I need to check your bag, please.

Here's my bag.

- Before anyone sees. - Hold this one.

Miss?

Sorry. Sorry. Excuse me.

Quick, give me my ticket.

- No. - What?

Why should I? You already let us down once.

I- I told the Usher that you've got it.

So, tell him you lost it, and then sod off.

We can't risk you ballsing this up.

You are the one ballsing this up.

Look, he's coming, and if he gets here,

he's gonna search you, and he's gonna search me.

Oh, so sorry!

Thank you. Have a good evening.

Thank you very much.

=ldiot. =-individualist.

Almost thirty years after the coronation,

the eyes of the world are once more focused on London

and the dream of a crown.

Fifty of the most beautiful girls from across the globe

are arriving here tonight

knowing that one of them will go home as miss world 1970.

North, south, east, west,

who's the girl we love the best?

Whatever the outcome, one thing is certain...

One of these beauties is going to become

the luckiest girl in the world.

I think I'm supposed to be britannia.

I wonder if britannia's a goddess.

Or maybe she's just a symbol, like the British bulldog.

At least they didn't dress me up as Churchill.

Maybe if I just have it over the eye,

like Veronica lake.

Oh, why?

I think it looks cute.

Hear that?

Someone always wants to rain on your parade.

What are you meant to be?

- A nutmeg Princess. - Oh, I thought you were a tree.

Bob hope is coming!

This way, Mr. hope. Can I just say what an honor it is

- to have you with us? - Hello, ladies. How are ya?

Hi.

What is this, the waiting room?

- Mr. hope! - How are ya, girls?

How are ya? =-pleasure.

Usa. =yes.

Okay, everyone.

Standing by to go live...

In ten...

Eight, seven,

six, five...

Good evening!

Or good morning, depending on which part of the planet you are tuning in from.

And welcome to miss world 1970!

That's it, come here, honey. Come on.

Shh, shh, shh.

This parade of international female perfection

is even more of a male pulse-racer than ever before.

Astronauts can go to the moon and fetch back prime lumps of rock,

but they won't find anything to equal these treasures of good old earth.

And there's no need to look any further than here tonight

for heavenly forms.

Who, from this stunning lineup, will be named

miss magnificent?

It may not be rocket science,

but it's certainly going to be a difficult decision for our judges...

And for all of you watching at home.

Holland! Japan! Japan... Japan...

Japan... where's...

Come on, Mexico! Arriba, arriba!

I think we know the audience's favorite.

Listen to that applause!

Tonight, planet earth

has just one thing on its mind...

Girls, girls, girls, girls...

Girls.

Bloody yugoslavia.

Yugoslavia, please!

Please, darling, we haven't got time for this.

Come on. Come on, come on.

And as we were enjoying the national costume parade,

the judges were busy making =first ballot selection.

Their selection for the final fifteen.

Usa, Australia, ceylon, Ecuador... Please give a round of applause...

Ecuador!

Ecuador. Where's Ecuador?

Try Malta!

We'll be seeing the girls in evening gowns,

and then it's a quick change into swimwear.

So any ladies having to lock their husbands in the cellar

before the bathing suits make an appearance,

hold off just a little longer.

- We made it! - Shh!

We started the evening with more than fifty girls

hoping to become miss world,

we how have fifteen.

And, ladies and gentlemen,

if your favorite isn't among them, time to get a new favorite.

First, number one: Miss Africa south, Pearl janssen.

Pah!

This is your five-minute call, Mr. hope,

we're about to go to swimwear.

My favorite destination.

Sandra is a Hazel-eyed blonde

and works as a model.

Her measurements are 36-22-36.

Oh, good, an english speaker.

You do speak english, don't you?

I certainly hope so.

Well, I'm sure the audience will agree

you do it very charmingly.

Next, number 21, miss Grenada, Jennifer hosten.

Miss Grenada is 22 and works as an air hostess.

She has brown eyes and black hair,

and her measurements are 34-25-36.

Well, I'm sure it's a wonderful life being an air hostess,

but do you have any other ambitions?

Actually, I've always wanted

to work in broadcasting.

Sounds as if you're after my job.

Perhaps you should be the one interviewing me.

- I'd love to. - On second thoughts,

you look like the sort of person who might get my secrets out of me.

So before I give away too much,

perhaps it's time for you to join the others.

- Quite a girl, wouldn't you say? - Ladies and gentlemen,

our final fifteen contestants.

Arriba! Arriba!

Feeding through...

That's it, line up here so they can see you.

I think we're all here,

and a lovely lineup it is, too.

Well, as you all know, there are two sides to every question,

and this is your chance to see both of them.

Girls, if you could please turn.

Wait till the girls are offstage.

Lovely though that view is, please turn back.

And now, ladies, if you don't mind, it's time to lead off.

Now, we've seen a lot of hope

in this auditorium here tonight,

and we're about to see some more,

because while the judges select their final seven,

here is the man you've all been waiting for.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Bob hope!

Thank you.

Thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen, thank you.

It is so nice to be here.

I don't know about you,

but I think I've had just about enough of these women libbers

claiming that this is nothing more than a cattle market.

Oh, moo!

No, really,

far as I'm concerned, it goes in one ear and out the udder.

- [Laughter - The real reason that I'm here is,

we take miss world down to our Christmas show in Vietnam

every single year, it's a great morale booster...

And at my age, I need it.

Do love the girls we have here tonight, beautiful girls,

they're all so lovely.

I love these ladies, in fact.

I don't want you to think I'm some kind of brute

that doesn't consider the feelings of women, of course...

I consider feeling women all the time.

Fuck this.

No, but I would say that-

shame on you, Bob hope!

Shame on you! Shame on you!

Ladies...

=-shh!

Shame on youl!

Shame on youl!

- This is out of control. - Stay where you are.

Please... ladies, please...

Hey you! What the hell do you think you're doing?!

Bloody...

Shame on youl!

Where's Neville? Neville?

Where's Neville?

Liberation for women!

I'm in a bloody war here, Roger!

Neville!

Neville! Running around...

Like a bloody headless chicken!

Tell 'em to pull the plug!

We can't broadcast! It's a bloody shambles!

- Get off of her! Get off! - Let her go!

Get her out of here!

Okay.

Make an announcement. We're going off air.

We do apologize, ladies and gentlemen,

proceedings here have been temporarily interrupted,

but we'll be back with you very shortly.

Fascist pig. Doing mecca's dirty work.

Haven't you got a thought of your own?

What are you doing? Why are you doing this?!

Think your mum would be proud of you, the way you're treatin' women?

Get off! It's our bodies! Our right to protest!

Oh, it's a mess.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I am pleased to announce

that everything is now under control...

It's still on! It's still on.

And normal service will resume.

Please give a warm hand

to a very brave man.

That's you, Mr. hope.

Very brave man.

Ladies and gentlemen, I just want to say

that any type of person that would try to destroy

such a joyous occasion as this one,

upset all of these young ladies back here,

well, as far as I'm concerned, they just gotta be sick in the head.

And the finalists tonight are,

in alphabetical order, ladies and gentlemen...

Miss Africa south, Pearl janssen.

Also joining her on the stage,

miss Brazil, Sonia yara guerra. Whoo!

Number three, miss Grenada,

Jennifer hosten.

Miss Israel, irith lavi.

Miss South Africa will be with us tonight,

Jillian Elizabeth Jessup.

Miss Sweden, Marjorie christel Johansson.

And finally, you'll be very happy to know,

from the United Kingdom here,

Yvonne Anne ormes will be with us.

Oh, shit.

If your nerves are suffering... I know mine are...

Spare a thought for our seven lovely finalists,

waiting now with the eyes of the world upon them.

As is customary, we shall reveal the results

in reverse order.

In third place, miss Israel, irith lavi.

In second place, miss Africa south...

=pearl janssen.

Miss world 1970...

Is miss Grenada.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

And if anyone's got any bright ideas

about what I should say to the BBC's director general when he calls,

then feel free to share them!

If you girls think this is the way forward,

then god help us all!

Excuse Mel!

I'm really sorry, I really need to use the ladies'.

Oh, sorry. I...

Oh. Uh...

You won.

I thought if I could get a moment alone,

it might just sink in.

Wow.

Um, congratulations.

I don't think you mean that.

It's not you we're angry at.

It really isn't.

I saw you.

You were on the television.

You know...

There will be little girls watching tonight...

Who'll see themselves differently

because I won.

Who might just start to believe that you don't have to be white

to have a place in the world.

I'm glad.

I... I really hope that the world

opens up for them, and for you.

But making us compete with each other over the way we look...

Doesn't that make the world narrower for all of us in the end?

What's your name?

Sally.

Well, Sally...

All I can say is...

I look forward to having your choices in life.

Come on, better open up!

Look, I'm... I'm really sorry

if you're offended in any... Come on.

- Come on. Move! Move! - Please! Be careful!

Move!

Don't hurt her!

I only came down "cause I heard it on the radio.

I left the baby with a neighbor.

Christ, you saw what happened. Whole world saw what happened. It...

If you're looking for someone to kiss it better,

try calling miss world 1961.

Three P.M. California time,

- she should be up and about by now. - Not now, doll.

Just...

I don't... I don't know what I did wrong.

Is anyone dead?

Hmm?

Did we lose a war?

No.

Well, then.

Tonight may be the start of something, Bob,

but it isn't the end of anything, certainly not you.

People love you.

Nothing's gonna change that.

Hmm?

Doll?

Doll, where ya goin'?

I'm gonna find myself a quiet little club somewhere

and get a drink.

Maybe even sing a little. Who knows?

Don't worry, Bob, I'll be back.

I always come back.

Those crazy women, huh?

They keep asking about the bomb.

They think we're part of the angry brigade.

- It's just scare tactics, that's all. - They're talking about charges.

Affray, assault.

Sally, they're just trying to rattle us.

Listen, nothin's changed.

We were havin' a shit time because of the patriarchy,

and we're still havin' a shit time because of the patriarchy.

It's just a bit more obvious in here.

They went easy on me 'cause I told 'em I was pregnant.

Are you?

As a matter of fact, yes.

Three months.

Are you all right?

Are you?

When I was tryin' to get away,

this copper, he just threw himself at me.

And I, uh, hit the ground really hard.

Are you in pain?

Any bleeding?

I've got bruised knees.

About six months, you'll be dreaming of bruised knees.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

Who's the father?

Sally, you're hilarious.

Even in a prison cell, you're the most bourgeois person I've ever met.

Every front page in the world.

Clever girls.

Come on.

Oh, she looks exhausted, poor girl.

Hiya, Jo.

- You all right? - Yeah, are you all right?

Here she is.

You're okay.

Mum.

Is there going to be a court case?

Well. We'll have to see about getting you a nice, smart suit.

It's all right, you know. I...

I never listened to my mother, either.

Oh, my god.

Oh, hi! Thank you.

J; With that lovey smile j

j; Oh, how we love cousin Jennifer j

j I know we are all very proud of her;

j it's the most beautiful j

j it's the most wonderful j

I the most beautiful girl in the world j

Women, join us!

Women, join us!

Women, join us!

Women, come and join us!

Women's liberation is people's liberation!

J Dee Dee Dee

very slowly walking,

always slowly walking.

J da Dee... j

J ooh j

j ooh ooh ooh j

j ooh j

j ooh ooh ooh j

J ooh j

j ooh ooh ooh j

j ooh j

j ooh ooh ooh j

J ooh j

j ooh ooh ooh j