Original subtitles

* spoke to me

* I can't believe it, but she spoke to me *

I'm Josh.

How are you this evening?

* close to me

* I never thought I'd get her close to me *

Don't be shy. All my friends are...

* now the moon and the sun belong to me *

* all my wildest hopes, my crazy dreams *

They seem more like reality.

* fantasy

* this girl fulfills my every fantasy *

Loving from a man.

* she must be

* specially designed by heaven just for me *

* just for me

* friends that gather, they see mystery *

* I look at her, and I see a masterpiece *

* she spoke to me

* I can't believe it, but she spoke to me *

* spoke to me

* I can't believe it, but she spoke to me *

* if she hurts me

* I'll take it all with open arms, you see *

* 'cause like a track under a subway train *

* she could roll all over me *

* and I'd still feel the same *

* 'cause today is the day she spoke to me *

* I can't believe it, but she spoke to me *

* close to me

* I never thought I'd get her close to me *

I'm stuck in some groovy wet dream.

* ooh ooh

I'm digging the scene.

* yeah, baby

Oh, yeah. That was so nice.

* 1, 2

* 1, 2, 3, unh

O.K., begin.

The only reason I have consented to doing this

Is because I wish to clear to my name.

Not that I care what people think,

But enough is enough.

Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold on a minute.

Yeah, well, can I finish my monologue, please?

We're looking for the latest and the hottest.

O.K.?

You know, we're looking for the beauty of Halle Berry,

The sexiness of jada pinkett,

The... the soaring voice of Whitney.

Can you sing?

Yes, I can.

Don't talk.

Listen.

O.K.

We're looking for the range of Angela bassett.

We're looking for the total game.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

O.K. This thing... this movie is going to be big.

Bigger than big. Huge.

The greatest romantic African-American film ever made,

Directed by me, of course,

Told from the point of view

Of an African-American woman.

We got Denzel, Wesley, fish.

They're all signed up to play supporting roles.

What we need...

What are you looking at?

Because when you said their names as supporting...

Don't talk.

Listen.

O.K.

Now, this total package that I'm looking for,

We know... i know...

She's out there.

And I'll know her when I see her.

Now you can talk.

Thank you.

Ooh, let's see, where do I start?

Um...

I've been studying for several years.

I went to nyu.

Mm-hmm.

Done a little off-Broadway,

A little episodic television.

I can sing, I can dance,

And I can act, so if you pick me,

You can't go wrong.

Let me stop being shy. I just need a break.

A break. That's what I need, a break.

So, if you let me finish my monologue,

Then I can do the sides... Not now.

But I'd read the sides after.

First things first.

Um, stand up.

Okey-dokey.

O.K.

Hug the camera.

I want you to turn around.

Uh, wrong way.

Oops. Sorry.

Yeah. That's it.

Slowly.

And slowly.

Keep it turning.

The person we're looking for needs to ooze sexuality.

Very good. Bravo, bravo.

You may sit right back down.

All right.

O.K., now if you would just, uh, unbutton your blouse

So we can see your breasts.

What?

Could you unbutton your blouse

So we can see your breasts?

Is that required of the role?

I mean, nobody told me

I was going to have to take my top off.

Didn't Murray tell you that?

No, he did not tell me that.

Well, he fuckin' should've.

O.K., look.

This is kind of embarrassing.

O.K., um...

Yes, it's required of the role.

It's a major part of the role.

All right, and, uh...

We're not trying to be weird here,

But we're just professionals.

Hey, you know what?

I have a picture. I can go get it

At the house and bring it back...

This topless little number...

Whoa. Hold it. Whoa, whoa.

We got 75 fuckin' other girls to see here, o.K.?

I'm sorry. I don't mean to be abusive,

But what's it going to be?

Can you do it or not?

Come on, honey. We don't have time.

Just take your clothes off.

All right, all right. It's cool. It's cool. Everything's cool.

* they turn me on

* I don't care where we go *

Yeah.

* I don't care what we do *

Yeah, that's it.

* I don't care

That's great.

* just take me with you

O.K. Now, freeze.

Don't move. Don't talk.

I can't do this.

You can't do this?

You can't do what?

What the hell's going on here?

What is happening?

I'm sorry.

I mean, where do you find these girls?

Hey, look, come here.

Aw, shit!

* I don't care where we go *

* I don't care what we do *

Let her go!

Bring the next actress in here.

She better fucking know what she is getting into.

Then get me a fucking cup of coffee!

What in the fuck is your problem?

Why didn't you tell me?

If I would've told you, you would've never went.

How did it go, knock 'em dead?

I have never been so humiliated in all my life!

Cut the sturm and drang.

You want to be an actress, a star, you showed them your tits!

So what! Big fucking deal, all right?

Sharon stone spread her legs,

And look what happened.

When I saw that, I said to myself, "that's a star."

He didn't ask you to have intercourse with him, did he?

No.

Did you get the part?

I walked out.

You walked out on qt?

The hottest director in Hollywood.

I get you seen by qt,

And you bolt!

You know, maybe you and me should go in another direction.

Maybe somebody could do better by you.

Listen, the money that you owe me, keep it, all right?

This is too much aggravation.

You know, with my asthma and everything like that, it's not working out.

It's not worth it for me, o.K.?

You're absolutely right. It's not working out,

But that money that I owe you, I'm going to pay you back.

You better pay me back. Let me tell you something.

I respect you. You're a beautiful person. You're talented.

I wish you well, o.K.?

Peace. Out. O.K., bye. Talk to you later.

Who's on the phone? Who's on the line?

Qt. Qt! Q! Q!

Free computer seminars!

Learn how to work a computer in just two short hours.

Would you like a computer seminar survey, sir?

Thank you so much,

Ma'am?

Excuse me. Computer seminar?

Computer seminar? Thank you so much.

Learn how to work a computer in just two short hours.

Thank you. Man of the future.

The only reason...

I've consented to doing this...

Is because I wish to clear my name.

Oy, God.

Oy oy oy, oy oy oy oy.

What?

Oh, God.

What?

What do you mean what?

What do you mean what?

Where is the pain?

Come on!

It needs a bottom!

Where's the bottom?

What's this shallow shit?

A bottom!

I can't think.

Aah!

Drop into the pain!

Drop...

Into...

The pain.

Drop into the pain.

I can't think straight.

Acting is about doing and feelings!

Drop into the pain!

Now...

Let's add a sensorial element of shit.

The pain stinks.

Ooh, it stinks. It stinks.

Smell it.

There you go.

Now, right through there...

Right through there, speak.

The only reason...

The only reason.

The only reason, the only reason!

Look.

Look, nothing!

I went to an interview, big Hollywood interview,

And this asshole tells me to take off my shirt.

So what!

So...

What!

Grow up!

Grow up now!

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about you growing up.

I'm talking about you facing the reality of this business!

Which is?

Which is...

Taking off your top, baby.

That has nothing to do with the work.

You've taught me about the work.

It has plenty to do with the work.

That's the business, honeybunch.

Make it art!

Turn it into something special!

Do you get it? Yes, I get it.

You get it? Yes.

So are we going to grow up?

Yes, we are.

Oh, we are?

Well, I'm going to help you grow up.

Now, if you would pay me,

You would show that you have respect for your art form.

I'm working three and four jobs to pay...

Working three and four jobs for what?

To pay you.

Oh, to pay me.

Yes.

I have to tell you,

I can no longer carry you.

That's it. That's all I have to say.

I'm not going to say another word.

That's it.

Finish.

Complete.

Over. Grow up.

O.K.

Respect your art.

O.K.

Learn to respect your art.

O.K. I will.

I hope you do.

Would you like a flyer?

Right now I don't have the time.

Computer seminar?

How you doing?

I'm fine, thank you.

Tired as all hell, but I'm fine.

Computer seminar? Would you...

I'm with them already.

Computer seminar?

Sure, why not?

Thank you, sir.

Talk with the beautiful lady.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Why you give me a different color?

I'm sorry. Would you like yellow?

No. It's o.K.

Excuse me, sir.

Would you be interested in comput...

I'll take it.

All right, people,

It's 90 motherfucking degrees out here!

So please don't act like it's cold.

Now, my director is not happy

With the background action!

That means I'm not motherfucking happy!

So if I see anybody that looks like they cold,

I'm sending your motherfucking monkey ass home!

And you know what that means.

No check!

What's wrong with you, little lady?

May I use the ladies' room, please?

Excuse me?

I have to use it bad.

I really have to go. Please?

No, you can't use the bathroom.

No breaks. We're ready to shoot.

And I don't give a fuck about s.A.G.

Motherfuck the s.A.G. Rep.

You can pee when I say you can pee. Capisce?

Yes, sir.

All right, people, turn your monkey ass around!

* housequake, there's a brand-new groove goin' round *

* housequake

* in your funky town

* and the kick drum is the fault *

* you gotta rock this mother, say uh *

* uh

* you gotta rock this mother, say uh *

* say uh

* we're gonna show you what to do *

* you put your foot down on the two *

* you jump up on the one

* now you're having fun

* you're doin'

* the housequake

* question

* does anybody know about the quake? *

* bullshit

* you can't get on

* until you make the house shake *

* now everybody clap your hands, come on *

* let's jam, y'all

* let's jam

* don't wait for your neighbor *

* green eggs and ham

* doing the housequake

* there's a brand-new groove goin' round *

* in your city, in your town *

* housequake

* and the kick drum is the fault *

* housequake

* housequake

* you gotta rock this mother *

* housequake

* housequake

Hey there, sexy,

You've just reached

The hottest live talk line around...

970-wow!

Where the talk is always hot and cheap.

The cost of this call is $1.95 a minute,

Plus a $5.00 connection fee.

Specialty calls are priced accordingly.

Hi. I'm here for an appointment.

If you don't want to play with me...

That's o.K.

Or you're under the age of 18, please hang up now,

But if you're ready, willing, and able,

Stay on the line

And get your hands on the fantasy girl of your dreams.

Hi. Have you called here before?

Can I have your name?

The next time you call in,

All you need is your phone number and four-digit i.D.

Excuse me. I'm here...

All right. I'm going to hook you up

To one of our lovely ladies now.

O.K. Hold the line.

I'm sorry.

Uh, I have an appointment,

And I don't know which direction to...

Oh, I'll take you.

Come on.

Lil?

Hmm?

Your appointment's here.

Bend over!

Hi. Come on in and sit down, baby.

How you doing?

I'm just fine, thank you.

How you doing?

I'm good.

I hear this is a place

Where a girl can make lots of cash.

You over 18?

Of course I am.

A young voice. That's good.

You're not local.

I'm from queens, born and raised.

And you're an actress?

Yes, ma'am, I'm an actress.

It's good work, when I can find it.

"That falling feeling."

Hmm.

How many letters is it?

Seven.

That falling feeling.

Um...

That's vertigo.

All right.

That works.

You like men?

Yes, I love men.

My luck's for shit with them,

But I love them.

So I said to myself,

If you can't get it in real life,

You might as well get it on the job. Right?

Right.

You're a dominatrix.

Dominatrix?

Dominatrix. Finish it.

Uh...

I would probably have...

Blond hair.

Long blond hair,

Uh...

38 cs...

Yeah, I'd have some nice, healthy jugs

With big, perky nipples.

There.

All right. Come on. That's good.

Very good.

Can't promise you anything,

But I'll put in a good word, o.K.?

Yes.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Thank you.

All right.

Speak into this.

What do you want me to say?

A fantasy chat.

Go ahead. The tape is rolling.

O.K.

Um...

Hi there.

I'm so happy that you called.

Um, what's your name?

Mike! Oh, hi, Mike.

Do you want to play?

That's great. That's great.

Thanks.

Yeah, yeah. We'll give this a listen

And let you know, huh?

Are you interested in any peep show stuff?

Peep show?

You sex them up on the phone.

Here's your coffee.

Yeah, thanks.

Good luck, honey.

They get to watch you jiggle.

I mean, there's no physical contact whatsoever.

Mm-hmm.

There's a little, uh, a little nudity.

But the money's a lot better.

Listen. Believe me when I tell you something.

This is nice, clean work.

No, thank you. No. No.

You ever married?

Yeah, uh, but it's over.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, no, really.

You don't have to be sorry.

See, he was a kleptomaniac.

On top of that, he was weird,

But I don't want to talk about that.

Any experience? No experience, right?

Right.

We have a training session.

We could show you the ropes.

I mean, it's not a problem.

We're going to be seeing a lot of ladies.

I don't think that this is for me,

This kind of stuff. The peep show thing.

All right, all right. Suit yourself.

Something comes up, I'll give you a ring.

O.K. Nice meeting you.

Take care.

So you, um, you own this place?

Yeah. You like it?

Oh, yes, it's... It's lovely.

So, every girl works a shift.

You've got three shifts to choose from.

You choose the one that suits you best.

Some shifts are busier than others.

You get paid by the call.

Bonus if a guy requests you.

Can I hold your puppy. Hi, little pup-pup.

Guys call us up, and they tell us what they want.

You dig?

I dig.

Toilet training, bestiality,

Foot fetishes, butt plugs,

Bisexuality, three-ways, five-ways, six-ways,

Yadda yadda yadda.

Yadda yadda yadda.

The mistress-slave routine.

¿Comprende?

Comprende. You know what? I can do this.

Mm-hmm. I can see myself just working it.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Sure.

Is your clit pierced?

Nope. Nope.

Ah, never mind.

Anyway, shitting's really big right now.

Don't ask me why.

Could be the stock market. I don't know.

They pay by charge card.

They call us, we call you, you call them,

And you chat until...

They come.

It can get a little freaky sometimes.

If a girl's at home,

You know, anything goes.

Not like the office girls.

This is the hot spot.

Could we back up for a minute?

You said at home?

I call from my house?

Collect. Is that a problem?

Currently, i... i share a phone.

It's a hall phone.

But you know what?

I'm thinking... This home stuff,

It's, um...

It'll be too heavy for starting out.

I think I need something a little smoother.

I...

Right... Well, the hall phone would be a problem.

Listen. I'm going to give you one of my cards,

And I want you to give me a call

When you get a private line.

And some cojones.

Listen, you got good pipes.

Cantaloupes.

Pears.

Oranges.

Granny smiths.

What else?

Oh, now. Red delicious.

We haven't had red delicious in a while.

Ain't that pretty? Yeah.

Ain't that pretty?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Stealing is wrong, right?

Shh.

Hey, where'd you get...

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Where you go! Hey!

Stop!

You go stop him!

Stop him!

I got it!

I got it!

Hello.

Uh, yeah. Hold the line, o.K.?

Jimmy.

What?

Telephone!

Hello.

Jimmy no live here.

Jimmy no live here.

So how's business going?

Business is kind of slow,

But see this card right here?

I see it.

In 20 years it'll be worth

A thousand times what it goes for now.

I got 2,000 of them. It's better than stocks.

Really?

All you do is wait 20 years?

I'll be a multimillionaire.

I'll be in a position to lend you money.

And in the meantime?

I'm a broke motherfucker.

Shit. Me and you, both.

So what's happening with your callbacks?

I need you to come over later

And help me do something.

Right, right, right.

Change the subject as usual.

I'm just asking a simple question.

You can say yes or no.

Yes or no.

So, you and him ever thinking about getting back together?

Nope. Hair.

I told you once if I told you a thousand times,

I don't like him.

He didn't do me right, treat me right.

There you go. Hair.

Thank you.

What you've got to do is hold the back

So we get it on right.

Pull it down. There you go.

There it is.

Oh, it's a trip having to pound the pavement again

Getting this job,

But so far everybody's been great.

Somebody's got to hire me, huh?

I hope so.

The money's good, so I figure

I'll be out of here four months, Max.

Are you going to let me tighten you up?

Good money if you're good,

And I'm going to be great.

Eyes.

Eyes.

Thank you.

Can I just tighten you up?

Oh, please, Jimmy.

Know what?

Huh?

You ought to get back with your ex

And let him rob you a bank.

That's not funny.

It's funny to me.

He stole my heart, Jimmy.

Steal it back.

Mouth.

Mouth.

Can I ask you a favor?

Uh-huh.

You must pay rent.

But I don't have the rent.

Who is this?

Dorothy dandridge.

You know what, Jimmy?

What's that?

I'm sorry, but I ain't got it.

Why don't you sell some of your rare autographs?

You can't hook me up?

You don't have the money?

And now, for my first role.

Dorothy dandridge in Carmen Jones.

I'll pay you back.

It's a damn good dandridge, isn't it?

Blow on 'em, sugar.

Makes 'em dry faster.

You can turn off the heat now.

You're some harmonica player.

Where you going now?

You just went for a walk.

I'm not some bird in a cage.

I don't like being cooped up.

Carmen, I don't like it

When you leave me alone.

Hey, there, army boy.

Zip me up.

You ain't going nowhere.

You're staying here where you belong, with me.

Maybe you ain't got the message yet.

Carmen's one gal nobody puts on a leash.

No man's going to tell me when to come and go.

I got to be free, or I don't stay at all.

You'll never get away from me.

I'll follow you down the river and across the sea,

To hell or up to heaven.

'Cause it's not just sex, o.K.?

You're their friend.

They're lonely, they're divorced,

Their wives aren't into what they're into.

They may be giants in the corporate world

Who are cross-dressers.

Ooh.

Cross-dresser. Girl 19.

That's a man who likes women's clothing for himself.

Or vice-versa.

Cross-dressers in their private lives,

Giants in the corporate world.

You are the ones...

Who listen.

Got to listen. Yes?

You're the one who appreciates them.

You're the ones who doesn't judge them.

You want them to like you, ladies,

'Cause if they like you, they call back.

If they call back a lot...

You make lots of cash.

Hey.

Yeah.

Girl 6. Yes.

Who's your transsexual?

My transsexual is, um...

Esmerelda.

Whopper dick.

Uh, always ready to please.

Dark hair.

Light green eyes.

Pre-op.

What's that?

It's before the surgery.

And my mistress...

I don't know who my mistress is going to be yet.

I think I'll call her April, maybe.

Sweet?

And my girl next door...

Well, my girl next door is going to be lovely.

Wait a second. Lovely?

Yes, darling. Lovely brown.

That's cute.

Thank you.

What's lovely like?

Lovely's got dark hair, dark eyes.

She's hot, but she's kind of shy.

Kind of freaky. You know the type.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, yeah. Big freak.

All right, ladies, unless they request,

All of you girls are...

Huh? That's the deal.

Additional characters can include black girls,

Puerto rican girls, Asian girls...

The whole ethnic gamut. Huh?

Also foreign girls. French and English accents,

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Girl 75.

You got a call coming in on line 17.

Monitor tells you it's a domination fantasy.

Yes? All right.

I want you to pick up and listen.

Hello. This is mistress Marlene.

I heard you've been a naughty boy.

Now pull down your pants and bend over my knees.

You're going to get spanked.

Yes. One spank for touching my panties,

Two spanks for putting your fingers near my clitoris,

And three spanks for putting your fingers deep into my love hole.

Oh, yes. One more spank.

The ultra-spank for letting your dick drip.

Didn't I tell you not to let your dick drip?

Now stand up and thank me for punishing you.

Dick drip.

Very good, 75.

I think a dick drip is a good way to end the day.

What do you think?

All right, ladies, listen.

This job can be a lot of fun.

You can make a lot of money,

And you're safe here. Very safe.

All right. See you all tomorrow.

Bye.

Lil, the boss, o.K.?

I'm a telecommunications sales representative.

Pleased to meet you. I'm girl 75.

I'm girl 12.

Hol a. Girl 4.

Telecommunications sales representative.

I'm girl 29.

I'm girl 39,

Better known as black mistress Tina.

Girl 19.

I'm a telecommunications sales representative.

4-2.

Girl 58.

Hi there. 6 is for sex.

Oh, yeah, baby.

Girl 6.

Hello.

It's just me.

Something will come up in a minute.

We're going to start you off slow.

Nothing too wild.

O.K.

First call's like a first date.

Just be yourself.

O.K. I'll keep it simple.

I'll send you someone fabulous. Thank you.

Hello.

Hello there.

Anybody home?

Hi there.

Hi there.

How are you doing this evening?

Horny. Thought I'd lost you.

Ha. No.

I'm right here, baby, um,

Where you calling from this... to-tonight?

Houston. Houston, Texas.

Oh, my God. It's hot down there, huh?

Yes, ma'am, it is. Hot and sticky.

What's your name?

Lovely.

Oh.

What's yours?

Steve. What do you look like?

Oh, um, I've got dark hair...

Uh-huh.

And, uh, dark eyes...

Yeah.

And I have a really great figure.

Oh, you got big ones, don't you?

Oh, yeah. I've got 38 ds...

Double-d.

Don't you be fibbing now.

I was hoping you had 'em, 'cause I like big tits.

Big like Texas. Like hakeem olajuwon.

Well, I've got these big silver-dollar nipples...

Uh-huh.

And they're really sensitive.

I have a 25-inch waist

And, uh, 35-inch hips...

And, oh, yeah, Stephen,

I have a deep throat.

Hot damn, you're perfect.

You know what I did today?

No. What?

I made a million dollars.

How'd you do that?

I bought a little nice old lot.

And you made a million dollars?

Yes, ma'am.

That sounds really complicated.

Well, I will explain it to you.

Say company "a" is a hammer.

And company "b" is a diamond,

Say a big, hard, pricey rock.

Now, I take company "a,"

And I smash company "b."

Ooh.

Oh, and I take all them little diamond chips,

And I sell them at a jacked-up price.

Wow.

And viola, señorita, I got one million dineros.

Ooh, I'm getting excited

Just thinking about it.

I bet I could hump you any time I wanted to, couldn't I?

Ooh, yes, you could, baby,

'Cause I'm always horny.

I would really like that.

Yes, ma'am. I bet you would.

Are you single?

No, ma'am. I'm married.

Mmm, well, uh, does your wife know you're calling me?

No, ma'am. She does not.

Are you single? Yes.

Well, then you can do anything you want to.

On, no. I... I'm jealous.

I'm only here for you, Stephen.

Chow time.

Shh. Get me a flower, Ron.

One of the corsages out of the fridge.

The food's going to get cold.

We'll be there.

I want you to jiggle them big teats for me.

Oh, are you nice and hard for me?

Yes, ma'am, I am.

Are you touching yourself?

Yes, ma'am, I am.

O.K., so now I'll tell you.

I've got, uh, a tight white t-shirt on.

Uh-huh.

And a little white skirt.

Would you jiggle them titties up and down for me?

O.K.

Bounce them up and down for me.

O.K., I'm bouncing, Stephen.

Oh, yeah.

I'm bouncing right now, Stephen.

I'm on your lap,

And I'm bouncing my titties up and down.

These teats are moving up and down, Stephen.

Ohh, ohh!

Oooohh! Ahhhhhh!

Oh, you are a gift on this earth.

Ah-ha, thanks, honey.

Girl 6.

Congratulations.

Thank you. I mean, he just came.

His name was Stephen, and he just... ahh!

He hung up happy. Good job.

Now how you feel?

Fine. My mouth's a little...

All right, here. Have some soda.

All right.

Now, miss girl 6,

We have for you...

Voila.

Ohh.

You broke your cherry.

All right, all right. Come on, y'all. Back to work.

There we go. Congratulations, baby.

He came.

Oh, yes, Dr. farber.

I love it when you put me in those stirrups

And examine me with your speculum.

Oh, yes.

Big girl, big pussy.

Slim girl, all pussy.

Hi there.

Hi there.

I'm so glad you called.

I'm calling from my beach house, housewife.

Let's start in the kitchen.

There's whipped cream in the refrigerator.

I've been on my feet all day,

And now I'm on my hands and knees

Cleaning the kitchen floor.

I sure would like to take a break

So I can talk to you.

You're scrubbing the floor?

Mm-hmm.

Don't stop scrubbing.

If you don't mind, we'll talk while you work.

I'm making slow, soapy circles

On the linoleum with my scrub brush.

What color's the linoleum?

Yellow.

It's yellow with little daisies.

Slow, soapy circles

On my hands and knees.

Where are your kids?

They're taking their naps.

I'm pushing your dress up from behind.

I'm going to mount you

Snoopy-doggy- dog-style, housewife.

Ohh.

Don't stop scrubbing.

Uh-uh.

I'm mounting you now, housewife.

Got a lot of work to do.

Don't stop scrubbing.

Don't stop scrubbing.

A woman's work is never done.

Oh, you're so right. I hate that grimy buildup.

With no bra on, you know?

I go shopping at the a&p like that.

I'd be the stock boy,

And I would grab your p-p-produce.

Mm-hmm.

I went shopping yesterday.

What did you buy?

Soup.

Asparagus...

Oyster crackers, you know?

For the soup.

For the soup.

Did you get lamb chops?

With mint jelly.

Beverages.

Arugula...

Dip...

Instant oatmeal.

Whew, instant oatmeal?

Quick grits.

Quick... quick grits?

Popcorn.

P-p-p-popcorn?

Thank you.

Hello.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Who am I speaking with?

Who am I speaking with?

This is lovely.

Lesley?

Mm-hmm.

Wait. Lesley or lovely.

Lovely.

Hi, lovely. Hi.

My name is Bob. Bob?

Yeah.

Where you calling from, Bob?

I'm calling from Tucson.

Tucson?

You know where that is?

Yeah. Is it, uh... what's it like down there?

Dry heat.

Dry heat. Mmm.

I was just, um, wondering if,

You know, is, uh is... is there a rule,

Like, does it have to be a sex talk?

Oh, no, no, no, Bob.

It's whatever you like.

We can talk about anything.

We can talk... Anything?

Anything. I'm here for you.

Feeling like talking about my mother, actually.

What's your mother's name?

My mom, uh, her name is Ruth.

Ruth?

And, uh, the thing...

My mother's dying of... She's dying of cancer now,

And, uh, I just wanted to hear...

I wanted to say that to hear how that sounded.

Is your mother alive still?

Yes, she is.

Do you tell her that you love her?

Yeah. I tell her I love her.

I never, um, I never use those words with my parents.

That's the thing.

I never said "I love you" to her,

And I'm agonizing now.

What do you think?

Well, you know, Bob, life is about choices,

And I think that whatever choice you decide to make

Will be the right choice.

I'm out here, and I'm thinking,

And I just, uh,

I just really needed to talk,

And I'm glad... I'm really glad that, uh,

That I dialed your number.

I'm glad you dialed my number as well.

You doing all right?

I got my first request tonight.

Yeah? Congratulations.

I'm sure it won't be your last.

You need to give yourself an activity of some sort...

A magazine, a book, something,

Or you're going to get hooked, girl.

No. I'm concentrating.

Concentrating?

Mm-hmm.

Well, you coming with them?

Please.

You sure about that?

I'm positive.

All right. I got to go.

Take it easy, all right?

Later.

How much are grapes?

I'll take a pound of your grapes.

$3.00.

$3.00?

Bet.

One month down, three to go.

How much longer are you going to do this phone bone stuff?

Well, to be perfectly honest, Jimmy, I don't know.

You don't know?

I don't know, 'cause I'm starting to like it.

Like it?

Yeah. My endurance has picked up,

And I've become extremely popular.

You like this stuff, huh?

It's a lot of fun.

My boss lil says she ain't never seen nothing like it.

We had 38 phone calls last night.

17 requests were for moi.

17 guys requested you?

Yeah. That's, like, what, 50%, right?

They wanted me.

I don't know.

Look at you eating your food.

You haven't blessed it.

I'm hungry.

I know, but let's make a toast.

I'm excited about this.

All right.

To phone bone.

Phone bone.

Mmm.

Amen.

He needed me real bad, too.

I was mistress April.

This guy was really into pain.

He wanted me to keep counting

As he plucked his pubic hairs out one by one

With a monkey wrench.

With a monkey wrench?

A monkey wrench.

What happened to tweezers?

I could just picture that.

1, ow!

2, ow! Ow!

3, ouch!

4, it hurts so good.

Come on. That's sick.

That's not sick. It's sick.

The man got off.

It's still sick anyway.

Plus I got my minutes.

Three requests because he had to call back three times.

I'm telling you, he needed it bad.

Ooh, a pilot called...

From a cockpit.

Cockpit fuck fantasy,

33,000 feet in the air

With brigitte, my busty blonde.

A pilot called you from his cockpit?

Mm-hmm.

No wonder planes be falling

Out of the sky left and right.

You want some more wine?

No. That's all right.

Come on, Jimmy. No, come on, baby.

That's all right. That's all right.

Oh, you remember Bob from Tucson?

Bob regular?

Yeah, yeah. Well, we're vibing, right?

He loves to talk to me about his mother.

When was the last time you had an audition?

He likes to talk to me about his mother

Because she's got cancer

And they were never really close.

Now they seem to be torn, you know?

So, what does this have to do with your acting career?

What happened to that?

I'm still an actress, Jimmy.

How are you acting? What?

How are you acting? You're not on stage, not on camera.

You're on the phone. How are you acting, talking on the phone?

It is acting. Some perverts, how's that acting?

They're not perverts, Jimmy, o.K.?

They're normal people, right?

Baby, let me tell you something.

You can continue to live in that little fantasy world

With the baseball cards and the autograph bullshit,

Whatever the fuck it is you do.

But me, I got to eat, and I got to pay my rent.

Phone sex is acting.

Now, if you don't like it,

You can step. Fuck you.

I got Willie mays' and Hank Aaron's autograph

On a baseball card.

They're in the hall of fame.

Is there a phone sex hall of fame?

Is there an equivalent of cooperstown

For the phone sex hall of fame?

You bugging. You drank too much.

You're trippin'.

You wish you had hammerin' Hank's autograph.

That's a goddamn lie. I wouldn't be able to pay my rent.

Phone sex is where I am.

I'm paying my bills. It's an investment.

I'm not going to sell while it's short money.

I'll sell them for more in the long haul.

Get a life, man. I ain't paying your rent.

What the fuck is somebody pulling out pubic hair

With a fucking monkey wrench?

It doesn't matter. It's paying me.

I'll hop my ass on a plane, go to Hollywood, and live out my dreams.

What'll you do? You're going to collect autographs

And take the next person that moves in

And make them pay your rent.

Springtime is usually that time of the year

When children are outdoors enjoying their young lives.

Sometimes, however, joy is not what they get.

Carol.

In Harlem tonight, there is tragedy.

After-school play has turned into a most deadly game.

Nita Hicks is on the scene.

Nita.

Thank you, Carol.

It started out as an after-school game

Between two little girls

In this high-rise apartment building

At 1470 Amsterdam Avenue.

What started out as a game has played itself out

Into a family's worst nightmare.

It all started in this hallway at this door

That the girls' game of tag led to tragedy.

Witnesses are telling us that 8-year-old Angela king

Was running down the sixth-floor hallway

When she leaned against this elevator door.

The elevator, however, was not on the sixth floor.

In fact, it was up on the 18th floor.

And that elevator door should have been secure.

It was not. It gave way.

8-year-old Angela king

Fell through the empty elevator shaft,

Falling six floors down into the basement.

Angela was rushed to Harlem hospital,

But officials are telling me now

That she has been transferred

To Manhattan's mount sinai.

The little girl is suffering

From multiple skull fractures.

She is in intensive care.

She is listed in critical condition.

Right now, I'm in the home of Martha may Jones,

Who is Angela's aunt.

Yes. I'm her mother's sister.

I don't know.

Her mama's at the hospital with her now.

She's a good little girl.

She was good in school.

She did her work.

She always had a nice smile on her face.

O.K., o.K., well...

Christine and Martin, have things been any hotter

Since you guys called last week?

Sheila, it's so good to hear your voice.

Listen, Sheila, I want to live my fantasy one time

Of a menage a trois

With Christine and your friend Rosita.

Rosita?

I can't believe him.

That's my best friend, Sheila.

I don't believe you.

Martin and Christine, we go through this

With you guys every week, o.K.?

Now, tonight, let's try to have

A really hot sexual experience.

Well, why does he have to have another woman?

Right. Right.

He doesn't really love me.

I love you.

No, you don't. That's not love.

Listen. What's wrong? You don't know what love is.

What's wrong for a man wanting his wife and his wife's friend

To lick his dick at the same time?

Oh, that's what you want?

How would you like it if julio was licking me, huh?

Julio? Yeah, julio. And besides, he's my friend,

And I talk to him. And he says that's not normal, all right?

If you do it with me,

I do it with him.

Oh, do you want julio?

Why don't we get julio in on this?

I got rolexes

Coming out my ass, all right?

You make me come, I'll buy you a rolex.

That's worth a rolex.

That's worth me coming.

Now, Martin, I want you to talk to her really gently.

Soothe her, coax her.

She's your wife. You love her.

He doesn't know how to soothe or coax nobody

Because he likes it hard all the time.

That's his problem.

He's always rough with me.

She's so frigid, Sheila.

She's so ice cold.

Don't say that. I am not cold.

Frigid, my ass.

Every time my dick gets next to you, it shrivels up.

Stop it. Don't talk like that.

I go from condoms to earmuffs on my dick.

You know the reason why I have such a hard time?

Because he only likes it from behind.

He never wants to look at me.

I like to look into his eyes.

He always does that.

Baby, the doggy style... That's the thing now.

That's what's in.

In? In, my ass, o.K.?

Hey, you're up, 6.

It's Bob regular.

See ya.

O.K.

Bob?

Hey, baby, how are you?

I'm fine. I miss you.

You're not going to believe where I'm calling you from.

Oh, let's see. Your car?

How do you know that?

'Cause I can tell.

You hear me all right? Yeah, I can.

Hello? Hello.

Hello, lovely.

Yes, Bob.

Hey, baby.

So, um, how's your mom doing?

My mom is not doing so good.

I'm just driving back from the hospital now.

I'll tell you something.

Cancer is a very bad thing.

It is a beast.

How are you holding up?

I'm doing... I'm doing o.K.

I just feel like I'm wasting my time, you know?

Just a big waste of time out here.

No point.

Well, you know, Bob, relationships change.

Not this relationship, honey.

No, ma'am. No, thank you.

Look at you and me.

When we first started out,

It was just for the sex.

Now every time I call you, baby,

All we talk about is my mother.

But the sex is still red hot, baby.

Tell you what, I want you to hang on.

I'm going to pull this car over.

Just hang on for me.

I'm back, baby.

Bob.

Yes, lovely.

Can I share something with you?

Shoot.

Well, I just...

I just want you to know

That the relationship we share...

You know, talking about your mom and everything,

Is really, really special to me.

And I just want you to know

That I'm always here for you,

Day or night. I mean, anytime.

So don't hesitate to call me.

I mean, this much time doesn't have to elapse

Before we connect again, o.K.?

Lovely, I got to go.

I'll talk to you later.

Is that a problem?

Oh, no, no, no, no, that's no problem,

No problem at all.

Lovely, I'll call you soon. O.K.

Remember, lovely is always going to be here.

I'll talk to you later, Bob.

Bye-bye.

And some matches, too.

Tell me.

You like skiing?

Not really.

No.

How about, um, fishing?

It's o.K.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Who is he?

Who, he?

He's a black bastard.

No offense. No offense, please, huh?

I want to ask you something. Shoot.

I'd like to take you fishing.

I have this friend who's got a cabin on a lake.

You, me, cabin, rowboat for two, huh?

How much? You, uh..

Work upstairs?

How much are the cigarettes?

Give me your number. I'll call you.

We'll talk sometimes.

What is the matter with that, huh?

Get your fucking hands off me.

Give me some sex. Come on.

I close the shop, go in the back.

Stop!

O.K., o.K.

Don't do that.

O.K., but you know what?

Hey, I'm a rich man.

You know what I'm saying?

I own this shit. Yeah.

You won't have to do this work.

Now, come on. Fishing. Huh?

Or no fishing?

Listen, you beautiful woman.

Lucky woman.

You could be my wife.

I am talking matrimony over here.

You know what I'm saying?

Why don't you just fuck off? Leave me alone.

Put the cigarettes in the bag with the matches.

Tell me how much they cost.

That's all you can do for me.

* if we cannot make believe *

* maybe we can make some time *

* lots of pity you and me *

* erotic city, come alive *

* we can fuck until the dawn *

* making love to...

We're in the girls' bathroom, right?

And everybody else is in class.

I'm going to push you right into the stall

And put my hand up that catholic-school skirt. Ooh.

That's good. That's good.

I'm so big over here.

I'm, like, deformed.

Oh, Melissa, unbutton that blouse.

O.K.

Come on, come on, missy.

Show them to me.

Yeah. Show them to me, too.

Oh, missy.

Your titties are so big.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to explode.

Yes!

This is when I jump out and say,

"What do you two girls think you're doing?"

Oh, my God, Cindy.

It's Mr. blue, the custodian.

I pull out my big kielbasa, and I say,

"Look at my big old kielbasa.

"We're going to have to work out a bargain,

"Or I'm taking a walk to the principal's office.

"Why don't you little naughty girls get down

"And maybe give Mr. big Jim

And the twins a little kiss?"

Come on, get up there nice and close.

Ooh, yeah, Mr. blue.

Oh, the kielbasa's so big.

Oh, my God. I love kielbasa.

Give me a hit of your cigarette?

Yeah, sure.

Mmm.

Guess what?

Hmm.

Bob from Tucson?

Yeah?

He wants to meet me in person.

I gave him my phone number. You what?

You know you're not supposed to do that.

Look, don't get hooked on this shit.

It's just talk. It's a job.

I know, but he's got a great voice.

Look, I don't care.

Did I ever tell you about...

Yes, you did. And I don't want to hear it again.

Give me my cigarette back. Take it.

I got nothing to say to you.

Better watch it. Oh, shit, Jimmy.

Hanging out, huh?

No, no.

I'm getting some milk. Want something?

No.

Later.

All right.

What are you doing here?

I just wanted to bring you a little something.

No, I didn't steal it.

This old man gave it to me.

He used to dream that once he became a famous actor,

He would get to marry a beautiful movie star.

He'd say, if you want something really bad,

You will get a picture of it, hang it on the wall,

And look at it every day.

And since you're into acting and all,

I figured this could help you out.

I hope you like it. Oh, I love this.

Thank you so much. Thank you. No problem.

Can I come up for a while?

No, you cannot.

But thank you for the magazine, o.K.?

And you take care of yourself.

When a late-breaking story hits the news,

Other stories get pushed aside,

As was the case of a story

That we covered four months ago...

A story about a little girl named Angela,

Who has one birthday wish.

That wish is to spend time with a very special lady.

It was a little story,

But one that made such a big difference

That we decided to come back here today

And follow up on it.

That's exactly what we're doing

With the help of our very special guest here.

This lady is a movie star extraordinaire.

She is caring, compassionate.

She cares about the community.

This is Halle Berry. Thank you.

I really can't think of a better way to spend today.

Little Angela's birthday has touched

Millions of people around the city,

But it inspired 11,000 people

To respond with get-well wishes.

If I can be a part of making her day special,

I'm happy to be here.

Sultan of SWAT?

Yeah, girl.

Do you have me on the speakerphone?

Yeah, I got you on the speakerphone.

Now, I want you to remember,

Approaching a girl

Is just like approaching home plate.

Ha ha ha.

Ha ha.

I hear you, baby.

I'm, uh...

I'm a little nervous.

You know, them night games,

Night games kind of make me kind of nervous.

Oh, baby, come on now,

Don't be nervous.

You have to remember, you're no scrub.

Oh, baby, you said that right.

Do you have your hitter's eye on?

I can see the rotation on the seams of the ball

Like Ted Williams. Ooh.

Well, I'm on the pitcher's mound.

Yeah, baby. I got my pitcher's stance,

And I've got that left leg cocked.

Just like I like it, baby.

Tell you what you do,

And give me that high leg kick like, uh, Juan marichel.

Whoo. Here it comes, baby...

A big, fat, juicy one straight down the middle.

Shoo.

Out of here.

You could kiss that baby goodbye.

Whoo.

I love you, girl.

6 for sex, darling.

Don't I look pretty

With my long blond hair and big blue eyes?

Don't I look pretty?

I'm getting on the bus now.

You can smell my hair as I walk past you.

You're watching my ass

As I walk to the back of the bus.

I'm walking.

I'm walking.

And you want me.

I'm turning around now.

I'm sitting down now.

I'm crossing my legs now,

And you're watching me.

My flower bed is all wet now, lover.

Listen to my flower bed.

Now take my boots off.

Yes, yes.

Now rip my stockings off with your teeth.

Oh, yes!

Don't my feet look pretty?

Now touch them. Tickle them.

Oh, yes, yes.

Oh, yes. Faster, faster, faster.

Yes!

Don't I look pretty?

* eatin' my dinner in a fancy restaurant *

Hi.

Working?

Ooh, what a surprise.

You went in, I figured you'd come out.

I didn't know you had a brain.

Got anybody new?

Yeah. I got this guy named Bob regular.

He's fabulous. You should meet him.

I would like to meet him.

Bob regular. What kind of name is that?

I got to run.

You got to eat.

We can go eat at Sylvia's.

I'm sorry, but I got other plans.

All right, tomorrow.

Hmm?

Friday.

Friday.

Friday's fine.

Good. Friday's good.

Good Friday.

One of my all-time favorite characters

Is foxy brown.

Right on. Power to the people.

Talk to me fast, baby.

I got five heavy-tripping,

Jive turkeys on my tail.

Check it out, mama.

The boss man want us to meet him in Paris.

There's a 4:30 plane. I'm just across town.

I'll pick you up.

I'm here, baby.

Stay black and beautiful, my sister.

Right on. Power to the people.

Put the phone down, lady. You surrounded.

What's wrong? Who's there?

Hold them off until I get there.

I'm on my way.

Come on, mama. Don't make me ask again.

Put the phone down.

You're looking for an ass-kicking now, mama.

Yeah, baby.

Damn, woman. You's a bad...

Shut your mouth!

I'm just talking about my sister.

Can you dig it?

Step aside, little mama.

Don't you know the black woman

Is the mother of civilization?

You didn't have to shoot them, stupid.

Let's go to Paris.

Hello, lovely. It's Bob.

Where you been?

I've been busy.

Thought you'd be glad to hear my voice.

I am.

It's just, um...

It's funny hearing your voice, that's all.

How's your mom doing?

Listen, I'm going to be coming to the big apple

For one day only to close up a big deal.

I got a little free time around 2:00.

Let's do something crazy.

I'm working a double shift tomorrow.

Come on. Let's do something crazy.

Let's go to coney island, have some hot dogs,

Make love under the boardwalk,

Just like the song says.

I'm working, Bob.

Take a vacation, girl.

Please? I really want to see you.

Say yes.

All right.

One hot dog.

One Nathan's hot dog.

And nothing else.

O.K., nothing else.

Tomorrow at 2:00.

Yes, I'll see you at 2:00.

Bye-bye.

All right, baby. Bye-bye.

* oh, yeah

* I keep your picture

* beside my bed

* and I still remember

* everything you said

* I always thought our love *

* was so right

* only those was wrong

* I always thought you'd be by my side, mama *

* now you're gone

* what do I know, baby?

* what we had was good

* how come you don't call me *

* anymore, yeah?

* I still light the fire

* on a rainy night

* I still like it better

* when you're holdin' me tight *

* everybody said

* everybody said that we should never part *

* oh, yeah

* tell me, baby, baby, baby *

* why

* why do you wanna go and break my heart? *

* all I know, baby

* what we had was good

* how... how come you don't call me *

* call me anymore, yeah?

* why don't you call me now? *

Bob regular.

Bob.

* sometimes it feels like

* I'm gonna die

Bob!

* you gotta try

* down on my knees, beggin' you please *

* please

* why can't you call me sometime, baby? *

* it's just one lousy dime, baby *

* why can't you call me sometime, baby? *

* no, no, no

* why on earth

* can't you just pick up the phone? Yeah *

* you know I don't like to be alone *

* why?

6, where you been? You late, honey.

Don't make this a habit.

O.K.?

It is so unprofessional.

Hand me those files over there.

Coming in here late all the time.

I'm tired of this shit.

I'm going to start cracking down.

How are you feeling? All right?

What's wrong with her?

I don't know.

Now, tell me you're a little wet slut.

I'm a little wet slut.

Louder.

I'm a little wet slut.

Then I'm going to tie you up real good.

Have we talked before?

Your voice sounds familiar to me.

No.

What's your name, sweetheart?

Jack spratt. What's your name?

Mrs. spratt.

Bullshit.

No, really. My name is lovely spratt.

Bullshit. Who are you?

I'm whoever you want me to be, baby.

No, you're not.

You're not anybody.

You ain't even nobody.

You ain't even shit, baby doll.

I cut him off, o.K.?

O.K.

Look, you do not have to be polite.

I wasn't being polite.

Yeah, well, whatever. Don't be.

Don't encourage them, o.K.?

Mm-hmm.

Now, why would you do a thing like that to me?

I just want to talk to you. That's all.

You don't have to be shy with me, girl 6.

I'll be good from now on.

I'll be very nice to you, o.K.?

Your daughter looked as if she was making a miraculous recovery.

I mean, all of us were hoping she'd be released,

And released from the hospital very soon.

We sent it up to Jesus.

It's in the lord's hands now.

She used to talk about

Wanting of those, um...

Power ranger dolls for her birthday,

And the pink ranger is the girl.

And she had her eye on the pink one,

But I don't know now.

We're here live right now

At Manhattan's mount sinai hospital

Right outside the emergency room.

We've just been talking with hospital officials

Trying to get an update on the Angela king story.

She's the 8-year-old little girl

Who fell down an elevator shaft,

A story that has riveted this city

And changed some safety policies.

We have just found out that Angela king

Is still listed in critical condition.

We ask our viewers send your prayers.

Hi. Let's go.

Where were you?

Come on, we got to go this way

'Cause I don't want nobody to see me with you.

Damn.

You miss me? No.

I miss you. How are you doing?

I'm doing fine. How are you doing?

My usual criminal activity.

I still haven't used a gun, don't intend to,

And I don't go into people's houses.

I only take from those

Who got more than they need.

That's still my speed.

You know, supermarkets,

The woolworth's, Macy's, Korean delis.

I only take what I can use...

Clothes, food,

Your basic fruits and vegetables,

Meats, chickens, beef,

Porks, cold cuts, rice, cereal, milk.

Damn. You still smell good.

We had some fun, didn't we, huh?

Here you go, enjoy your pie. Thanks, man.

You're welcome. I try to eat balanced.

I still got my sweet tooth, you know,

But I still got my bad habits, too.

Basically good, but...

Bad habits.

How is everybody?

Moms doesn't like me living at home anymore.

I told her I'd seen you.

She says an ex-wife is a sign.

Oh, did she? Mm-hmm.

You're the only true love I got. You know that.

Really? Well, um...

I'm going to be leaving town soon,

As soon as I'm able... For good.

I'm going to California.

But, um...

You do that, uh...

That freelance typing thing.

Temp work, right?

Wrong.

I'm into phone sex.

No shit.

Yeah.

What, you?

Why not me?

Have you ever called one before?

Hell no. I like touch.

Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

Call me.

Ring, ring.

Come on.

Ring.

All right.

Come on, call me.

Ahem.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring, God damn it.

Ring.

Hello.

Hey.

My name is lovely.

What's yours?

Joe schbotnick.

Ooh, Joe.

You have a really sexy voice.

Where are you calling from?

Death row.

Ooh, death row.

That means you are a dangerous man, Joe.

That's right. Fuckin'-a, man.

Would you like to know what I look like?

Sure. Fire away.

I've got blond hair,

Deep, dark, sensuous eyes,

I'm 5'6",

And my best features

Are my big breasts.

They're 40 double-d.

Oh, bitchin'.

40 double-ds! Dude!

Ooh...

I'm a deep throat, Joe.

Oh, you want some of this, baby?

Mmm... Fuckin'-a, man.

God damn.

And I want you so bad, sweet daddy.

You like that, Mr. Joe schbotnick?

Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm- mmm-mmm-mmm.

Damn.

I didn't know you were such a freak.

I always was.

You just never brought it out in me.

I just never brought it out in you.

You heard me.

Let me show you something.

What? A little shortcut.

I know you're playing. You're always playing.

Come on, come on, come on.

What?

Baby girl, what a pretty hand.

Oh, how sweet.

What are you doing?

Would you stop it? Wait a minute.

What do you think you're doing?

Don't put my hands down your pants. What's wrong with you?

What do you expect, talking to me like that?

I was just playing with you.

I don't play like that, all right?

Don't step up on me like that, o.K.?

I should kick my own ass for even going out with you.

You're right. I'm sorry. You're damn straight, you're sorry.

So take your sorry ass home to your mama.

You're right.

Shit.

Aah!

Oh, my God! You see it?

I see it! I see it!

He spared no expense, lil.

He spared no expense.

No expense. Well, show everybody.

Go ahead. Go ahead.

It's gorgeous.

Aah!

Oh, wait... Wait a minute.

Where's miss 6?

Working, working, working.

Hello.

I got this special fantasy.

Can I tell you?

Tell me.

Hey.

* in France there lived a man who died of a big disease *

* with a little name

* by chance, his girlfriend came across a needle *

* and soon she did the same

All right, sexy 6.

It's back to the salt mines.

* is being in a gang called the disciples *

* high on crack, toting a machine gun... *

You're like this hot co-ed.

You know, head cheerleader,

And I am the principal of the school.

Ooh. Yeah.

Yeah, you see, everybody's been worried

Because you're just too, too hot,

And you turn everybody on too much.

Ooh, yeah, because I get them hard,

And it's, like, so distracting.

Are you, uh...

Hard right now?

I sure am, baby.

Now, see, I'm the principal,

And I have to discipline you.

Yes, Mr. principal.

Unzip my pants and take it out.

You just took my hand

And shoved it down your thing.

Tell me how much you need it. Tell me.

I'm so wet. I need it.

That's good.

Beg for it, sweetheart.

Oh, please give it to me, Mr. principal,

Because I'm so...

I'm so...

I'm so bad, Mr. principal.

Yeah, that's good.

Ooh, give it to me, please.

You want some more?

Huh?

You want some more, Mr. principal?

No, no. That's good. That's good.

Thanks a lot. I enjoyed that.

Hey.

6...

You all right?

Do I look all right?

No. You look like shit.

Come on down from that sink.

I'm sending you home, baby.

You're burned out.

75 got you smoking that shit.

Look, lil, I am chill.

I am cool. I am fine.

Look, hey, hey, hey. Come here.

I know what I'm talking about, o.K., baby?

I've been through this.

You need some rest. Yeah?

So, what are you trying to tell me,

I'm on leave?

Yeah, you on leave.

You go somewhere, recharge your batteries.

You come back, you're good as new.

Get some sun, all right?

The islands maybe. Yeah?

Mmm.

I need this job, lil.

I know you need the job, 6,

But I'm not changing my mind, o.K.?

Now, go on home.

Go ahead.

Is that job still available?

Why the change of heart?

I got my own phone.

Still got those pipes?

Yes, I do.

Good. When do you want to start?

As soon as possible.

* hot thing

* hot thing

* barely 21...

If you do decide to accept this mission,

You must realize

That your own private line is essential.

I suggest getting an unlisted phone number

That is inaccessible to caller i.D.

Choose a phone with a lightweight receiver.

I suggest getting a headset.

That way your hands are kept free.

While office-bound fantasy girls are restricted

By what they can say,

A fantasy girl who works out of the home,

A home girl,

Can experience complete and total freedom.

You can invite your caller

To fully experience his deepest,

Darkest...

Strangest...

Wildest desires.

No inhibitions...

No restrictions.

Total freedom.

No taboos.

Yeah.

Are you ready, baby?

Huh?

Are you ready for me now?

I'm ready for you.

Ooh... Explode for me.

Oh...

Do it...

Till you're satisfied.

Oh...

Ooh...

Oh, yeah.

Ooh...

Oh.

I loved watching the jeffersons and good times,

Especially Thelma.

Baby, can I, can I?

But my parents are home.

Weesie!

Give me that phone!

Daddy!

This is the man of the house,

And you better get another girl to wipe your feet with.

Not our daughter.

This is my house!

George!

Look here, honey,

Your mother and I want you to have an active social life,

But when some sicko calls...

Listen here, baby.

You got to listen to your father.

But, ma!

How was I supposed to know he was a sicko?

All he kept saying was, "can I come over?

Can I come in?"

"Can I come over"?

"Can I come..."

Ooh!

Son, you're trying my patience.

Why can't I speak to her?

O.K. She'll be right here.

George.

George, what you going to do, George?

Don't you go in there, George!

George, what are you doing, George?

Don't be throwing that stuff out here, George!

Where is Florence when you need her?

Step back.

Don't shoot him, daddy!

Aah! Aah!

God! You cut me!

He killed him!

Aah ha ha!

George, that's the 10th phone this month!

Oh, he's going into that slide.

Be careful when you do that, baby!

The chicken stew!

Aah! Whoo!

Come on, George. Work it, baby.

Do that lean-back, baby. Do that lean-back.

Aah! Aah!

Whoo!

Shit.

Who is it?

Banging on my door like they've lost their mind.

Oh, sh...

You deaf?

I've been banging on this door for an hour.

I have been busy.

That's what I'm talking about.

What did you do to your ex?

You got that guy crazy.

He wants to get back with you.

I don't go backwards. I only go forwards.

The man's been crazy.

I owe you money. I don't got a job,

But damn you and damn that phone.

We're not even friends anymore. We don't even talk.

It's just like this... I get paid to talk now.

I don't have time to be bullshitting with you.

Me and you talking is bullshit? It's bullshit.

Normal conversation is bullshit?

Normal conversation with you is bullshit.

So what's this, then? It's a letter. Mind your own business.

From who? One of my callers.

"Dear, miss lovely, I'm such a baby,

"And it's hard for me to go to sleep at night.

"I'm hungry.

"Mommy, please squirt some of your warm breast milk

"Into a bowl of frosted flakes. They're great?

Signed... love, Tony the tiger."

Who's this? Put it back, Jimmy.

Who's this? Put it back.

Sexual deviant. This ain't reality.

It is reality. It is my reality.

I know what's real and what's not,

Whether you want to believe it or not.

Do you?

Miss lovely, you get off on this stuff?

Huh? Huh?

* you've always been the first in line *

* nobody will ever love you *

* as much as I do

Hey, behave yourself. Ha ha.

Heh heh heh.

So, um, you still want to take me fishing?

I don't fish.

You going to play me like that?

Play with you?

Yeah. I thought you wanted to get married.

Married? This is my wife.

Sangi, who is this woman?

Who is this woman? I'll tell you.

This woman is a prostitute

With, mind you, stolen cigarettes.

Call the cops. Take them and get out.

Call the cops! You're standing... don't shout at me!

Take your cigarettes. Get out of here.

Come on, you thief.

Get out!

Yeah.

I get sick of this nonsense week after week.

It's always the same with those girls upstairs,

Those bloody phone sex girls.

Phone sex girls? Yes.

Don't you dare come near me again,

You useless donkey!

I'm phoning your bloody mother!

Phone, phone. Ha ha ha.

* got my future all planned out *

* bye, girl

* listen, don't talk to strangers *

* don't forget to say your prayers at night *

* remember, God who made you *

* one day will make everything go right *

Hey. Hey.

Ronnie, I don't know this man.

Homey, can I help you?

No, you can't.

Let's go.

I just thought she was somebody I knew.

Yeah, well, she's not.

Let's go.

Sorry if I caused you any kind of inconvenience, man.

Don't take it personal. She doesn't speak to me, either.

I guess she's working, huh?

Yeah. I hear her sometimes through the door.

I haven't seen her in weeks.

She gave me her number... It's unlisted...

But she told me not to give it to you.

Besides, she screens her calls and don't call back.

I miss her, man.

If you could get her to call me...

I don't know.

I'll give her the message.

* hmm hmm hmm

Hey, honey,

It's me calling from command central.

Can you take three of Niki's regs today?

She's got the flu.

Call me back asap.

Wake up. Call me back.

Ciao.

Yo, yo, yo, this is Jimmy.

You never call me back, girl.

I never see you.

What's up with that?

Hi, baby doll.

This is your lover calling.

I'm surprised you're not home.

I usually don't leave messages,

And I don't really like machines.

I much prefer human beings.

I think whoever invented the answering machine should be shot.

How can we continue this romance

If you're not home waiting for me?

Bye, baby doll.

Hello, love. It's Mr. snuff.

I know.

Uh, listen, I want to ask you a question...

Are you ugly?

No. I'm beautiful.

The reason I ask you that

Is because I was watching Oprah the other day,

And they had the program on phone sex,

And every one of those girls was ugly.

So I'm asking you, are you ugly?

No. I'm absolutely,

Positively gorgeous.

You're beautiful?

Yes, I'm beautiful.

That doesn't make sense.

How can a slut be beautiful?

The Mona Lisa's beautiful.

The statue of liberty's beautiful.

The grand canyon, the first day of spring,

The new-fallen snow, that's beauty,

But a slut...

Is just slutty, right?

You know?

Yes.

Did you miss me?

Kind of.

I missed you.

You know, I really opened up to you.

I've opened my heart up to you.

I trust you.

You do?

I do, absolutely.

And now it's time for the good part.

I'm scared.

I'll be quick,

And you'll be much happier when it's over.

O.K.

You're not happy now, are you?

No. No.

You're not happy because you're a fuck slut, right?

Right.

So say that.

I'm a fuck slut.

No, no. "I'm not happy because..."

Say it.

I'm not happy...

Because I'm a fuck slut.

That's right. There you go.

But you're going to be much happier

When everything is said and done.

Now, this is what we're going to do.

We're going to put your head in the bag.

We're going to tie it nice and tight.

We're going to tie it nice and snug.

And then I'm going to give you the fuck of your life.

I'll do that for you.

And then it's lights out.

Oh, no.

Lights completely out.

Why are you doing this to me?

That's none of your fucking business.

But you have to make it my business

Because I want to love you.

Don't you contradict me.

I don't need anything from you, you understand?

Yes. Are you ready? O.K.

Good. We're going to spice things up, all right? Mm-hmm.

I'm going to come to your apartment,

And we're going to do this for real. How does that sound?

Oh, baby, please, let's do it like this.

Don't you fucking perform. I'm not.

Don't you fucking perform for me.

I don't want that bullshit.

O.K.? I do the performing.

I'm not performing for you.

Then what are you doing?

I just want to... I just want to love you.

No, no, I don't want your love.

I don't need your love. I have enough love.

I have plenty, believe me.

I have a mother. I have friends.

I don't want your love.

Oh, come on, give it to me.

Please. Bullshit.

I live very close to you.

I'm going to come over there,

And I'll be there in a few minutes.

I'll get that bag tied around your head, watch you struggle.

But you don't know where I live.

No?

213 east 5th street, apartment number 5.

* ghettos to the left of us *

* flowers to the right

* there'll be...

Hello?

Hi there, um... This is lovely.

I just got another wild card. Ha ha.

Can you do me a favor

And send me somebody who's, um,

Really sweet right now?

All right, sit tight. I'll call you right back.

O.K.

Bye-bye.

* we all have our own problems *

Hello?

Hey, I'm out on the corner.

I was wondering if you needed anything.

Maybe some haagen-dazs?

Or how about a dozen of those long-stemmed red roses

That you love so much?

Look, why don't you just leave me alone?

Hello?

Well, guess what.

They're out of the green bags, but I got the blue,

And they're the see-through kind,

Is that good?

You know what, um...

That sounds really, really good, baby.

I think you should get those green baggies and come on over

Because I got something for your ass, you sick motherfucker!

I'm going to kill you if you come over here!

That's what I want to hear. I swear to God I'm going to kill you!

Why you been holding out on me like that?

Why'd you hold out on me? Come over!

That's right.

Jimmy!

Jimmy!

What?

Open the door.

Hold on, hold on.

You got to let me in, Jimmy. Look at you.

Please let me spend the night.

Yes. Phone bone stuff?

Come on. You look pitiful. Pitiful.

Jimmy?

Jimmy?

Jimmy?

What?

You asleep?

Yes.

Guess what.

What?

I'm going to go to Los Angeles.

I thought L.A. was falling into the pacific ocean.

No, I just think that it's, um...

You know, it's time that I started

Pursuing my acting thing, you know?

You mean it this time, huh?

Yeah.

Well, if that's what you want to do...

I'm all for it. I'm happy for you.

Thank you.

You know, I've been...

Trying to tell you... If I ever saw you...

That, uh, I finally broke down

And sold off some of my memorabilia collection.

Really?

Yup.

It was hard to do, but, uh...

I can't wait 20 years.

I got to eat now. I got to pay the rent.

Especially since you're moving.

Who am I going to borrow money from?

Ha ha ha.

Some other fool, I guess. Ha ha.

I got something for you, I want to give you.

This is a tops,

Mint condition 1964 baseball card,

Signed by Hank Aaron and Willie mays,

Both hall of famers.

Hank Aaron's hit more home runs

Than anybody in major league baseball,

More than babe Ruth.

It's for you.

Signed by both.

So remember me by that, all right?

Give me a kiss.

All right.

I will.

Don't sell that.

No matter how low you get,

Don't ever sell that one.

Say hey, Willie mays...

The greatest ball player that ever lived.

Asked Jesus,

"Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

It says in the Bible

Jesus called a little child onto him

And set the child in the middle of them.

Hi. Hi.

I decided to bring this to you in person.

Angela, look at that. That's for you.

What you going to say to the lady?

Thank you.

Oh, you're welcome, honey.

Say God bless you. God bless you.

God bless you, too. Can I have a kiss?

Thank you for the money.

God will bless you, miss. Thank you.

Hey.

I heard your girl Angie got out.

Thought we could celebrate.

You been calling my house?

I would, but you're unlisted.

I just wanted a normal conversation.

All right. I'm going to L.A. where it's safe.

How in the hell is L.A. safe?

It's safer than here.

Plus I got to get my acting thing going again.

You can't act in New York?

No. There's too much history.

Oh, Judy.

I'm going to miss you, Judy.

Judy.

I always did like the way you called me that.

* Tracy died

* soon after a long-fought civil war *

* just after hal wiped away his last tear *

Taxi!

About time.

Yes!

Driver, drive. Drive!

Where are you going?

To cali!

Jfk. Make sure she gets there safe.

What time's your flight?

In an hour.

Peace.

Bye, Judy.

* sometimes it snows

* in April

Miss brown.

He's so sorry to keep you waiting.

He and your agents had to work out a few minor details.

This is, of course, not a reading.

It's more like a meeting.

He just wants to go over specifics, catch up.

Yes, of course, darling.

* all good things, they say *

* never last

* springtime was always my favorite *

* time of year

* a time for lovers

* holding hands in the rain *

* now springtime only reminds me of... *

* Tracy's tears

Welcome to Hollywood, lovely.

Glad you could make it.

How have you been, doll?

I've been fine, thank you.

So let's have a look at you.

Mm-hmm. Good enough to eat.

O.K. Here we go.

Rob, you, uh, you going to shoot her the line?

Yeah.

And when you answer him, honey,

I want you to turn your head... Real slow.

Then we're going to kiss.

O.K.

And then...

Well...

O.K., rob.

Delivery.

Come in.

O.K., now we're going to kiss.

Good, good.

Now let your top open up.

Come on, come on.

We need to see your tits, honey.

Keep the kiss going, please.

Rob, help her.

We don't have all year, sweetheart.

Mmm. Mmm.

Please don't do that.

Stop.

Don't do that.

Rob, that's o.K.

Look, I've got other ladies waiting to audition.

I don't have all day, lovely.

O.K. Whenever you're ready,

Let's see what you've got.

The only reason I've consented to doing this

Is because I wish to clear my name,

Not because I care about what people think,

But enough is enough.

And if it helps some people in the end,

That's fine, too.

Some people call me a freak.

I hate that word

Because I don't believe in labels.

I consider myself to be normal,

Whatever normal is.

But... What you going to do, huh?

That was the deal.

Mm-hmm.

Good. Very good.

O.K.

Ooh, ooh, look, there was no offense here, o.K.?

I'm just trying to be free. No restrictions.

That's what the role required.

Hmm.

No offense taken.

Oops.

* but all good things, they say *

* never last

* all good things, they say *

* never last

* and love isn't love

* till it's past

* 1, 2

* 1, 2, 3

* girl 6

Oh, yeah.

* yeah, hey, hey, hey *

* girl 6

Hi there. What's your name?

* girl 6

Oh, yeah.

* girl 6

I've got dark hair.

I have a really great figure.

* girl 6

Oh, yeah.

* ooh, yeah, yeah

* girl 6

* all the way from the ghetto *

* my little butt could sway *

Ah-ah-ah.

* tears you get through the level *

* no price too big to pay *

Yes!

* she keeps her pride in a bucket *

* next to the milky way

* hey, hey

* girl 6

* what do you wanna hear? *

* girl 6

* listen to your fears

* girl 6

Oh, yeah.

* laughing and tears

* girl 6

* I can make it

* as long as you're with me *

* God, you're pathetic

* you can call this day

Ooh, yeah.

* you can talk your sh... *

Shut up, already!

* no matter how lame

Tame.

* the eagle's landing

* on the claim to fame

* she got your number

* you all the same

* you know it's all good *

* with your bucket

* heaven's only a phone call away *

* hey, hey

* girl 6

* what do you want to be, girl? *

* girl 6

* listen to your fears

* girl 6

Oh, yeah.

* laughing and tears

* girl 6

* I can make it

* as long as you are near *

* girl 6

So good.

* girl 6

Oh, yeah.

* what's the end to the way out? *

* way out where?

* how do we get directions *

* to December in surround? *

* what does this stuff do? *

* and do not tease all she dreams about *

* girl 6 in doubt

* hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah *

Jimmy watching the game, and I be uptight.

That boy is a damn fool. Under pressure divas.

* hey, hey, yeah

* girl 6

I've been on my feet all day.

* girl 6

I'm down on my hands and knees.

* girl 6

* girl 6

Aah!

* girl 6

* what do you want to hear? *

* girl 6

* can you listen to my fears? *

* girl 6

* whoo

* come on, baby

* girl 6

* I can make it

* as long as you are near *

* girl 6

* I can make it

* what do you want to hear? *

* girl 6

* I can make it

* what do you want to hear? *

* girl 6

* I can make it

* what do you want to hear? *

* girl 6

* I can make it

* as long as you are near *

* girl 6

* yeah, yeah, yeah

* girl 6

* girl 6

* girl 6

* girl 6