All language subtitles for 131231231231321323

My grandma and your grandma

Sittin' by the fire

My grandma said to your grandma

I'm gonna set your flag on fire

Talkin' 'bout hey, now, hey, now

Iko, iko, unday

Jockamo feeno ai nane

Jockamo fee nane

Look at my king all dressed in red

Iko, iko, unday

Betcha $5.00 he'll kill you dead

Jockamo fee nane

Talkin' 'bout hey, now, hey, now

Iko, iko, un day

Jockamo feeno ai nane

Jockamo fee nane

My flag boy and your flag boy

Sittin' by the fire

My flag boy said to your flag boy

I'm gonna set your flag on fire

Talkin' 'bout hey, now, hey, now

Iko, iko, un day

Jockamo feeno ai nane

Jockamo fee nane

Hey, now

Hey, now

Jockamo fee nane

Iko

I spoke to Mr. Babbitt on
that just this morning.

I'm still sitting on
four Lamborghinis

that can't make the smog
emission standards.

Now, how many times you
wash out with EPA?

Yes, they're finally clearing EPA.
Just one or two more days.

Three times? We're really
on a roll here, my friend.

Four cars, three times each.
That's zip for 12.

What are you? A mechanic
or a NASA engineer?

Now, listen. I told you I've never
dealt with these Lamborghinis before,

and yet you assured me that you could
deliver these cars within that time frame.

Don't tell me that, 'cause
I'm not even listening.

Well, sir, I hardly
think that's necessary.

Well, I'll explain that to my swing loan.
I'm sure he'll be very sympathetic.

I'm into him for 200,000. That's
thousand, my friend, three zeros.

I got all my money
tied up in these cars,

and if I don't get my money out,

I am over, I am finished.
Do you understand that?

You have to understand
our situation here.

I don't give a shit about your problems.
I got a shark snapping at my heels here.

They could've taken the car
and my business 11 days ago.

They're collateral,
for Christ's sake.

Got to hold 'em off with
a whip and a chair here.

I understand that, I know
delivery is way overdue.

Fuckin' EPA...

Whole world is choking on smog,

and they're gonna
correct the situation

by keeping my four
cars off the road?

Babbitt Collectibles.

Have you tried cash? How much can
one of these EPA guys earn in a week?

Charlie, it's Wyatt.

- Wyatt?
- Yeah.

About the swing loan.

If he doesn't get
the money by 5:30,

he's gonna come and
seize all the cars.

I'm gonna have to call you back.

I really think you should
talk to Mr. Babbitt on this.

Tell him that you don't understand.
I signed a check on Tuesday,

you personally watched me sign it, and
then you gave it to the mail girl.

Come on! I need this!

Come on!

I wouldn't do that, sir, until you
talk to Mr. Babbitt personally.

A number for him? No,
he's on the road just now.

- He wants you to call him immediately.
- Charlie.

Just tell him I'm
connecting to Barbados,

arriving 1:30 a.m.,
can he leave a number?

- Charlie!
- What, Lenny?

I'm standing here.
Talk to me, talk to me.

Mr. Bateman wants to back out on his car
and he wants to take Mr. Webb with him.

They want their down payments back.

They found two cars at Valley Motors,
and they want to go that way.

Tell him that was me
on the other line,

that the cars just
passed emissions,

that the EPA paperwork will
be in here momentarily...

- You paying attention, Lenny?
- Yeah, I am, I'm listening.

Tell them also that I'm knocking
off five grand on both their deals

because I appreciate
their patience.

- Now, do you understand that?
- I understand that, I've got it.

- Are you sure that you've got that?
- I got it.

Mr. Bateman, that was
Mr. Babbitt on the other line.

As it happens, the cars
are passing emissions...

What am I saying? The cars
have passed emissions.

We're just waiting for the EPA paperwork.
We'll have that momentarily.

And because of your
incredible patience,

we're going to knock off
$5,000 on each car.

Well, yes, you've
been most patient.

We really appreciate your patience.

Well, thank you.

Thank you.

Ready for Palm Springs?

Charlie, you still want to
go with all these problems?

We're seconds away from closing
this deal, clearing 75 grand.

Not bad for a couple
of phone calls, huh?

No, not bad at all.

You know where to find
us, right, Lenny?

Right. I got it under control.

Listen, I don't want
to be demanding here,

but do you think, could you possibly
say, I don't know, 10 or 12 words

before we get to the hotel?

Consider it foreplay.

Can you include me in
some of your thoughts?

I'm just thinking.

You know, nothing special.
I'm just thinking.

Maybe there's something that you're
thinking about that we can talk.

You know, make a
little conversation.

If there's something to talk about,
Susanna, we'd be talking about it.

I'm just thinking. What's the big
to-do about me thinking here?

I don't know, Charlie.
I just feel like

I'm going away for a
few days with someone.

Call me crazy.

Okay, you wanna talk, let's talk.

- How was your day?
- I don't want to talk! I feel like...

- you're excluding me from what's going on.
- No, let's talk!

It's not that I want to talk.

One of these again, Susanna. How
did we get back to one of these?

I don't know why I put
up with all this.

You wanted to go to Palm Springs,
and we're going to Palm Springs.

Yes, but I didn't want to go alone.

I've been sitting in this car for
more than an hour and a half...

You want to talk,
let's talk! Let's talk!

This is not talking, this
is you going like...

Yeah.

Charlie, this is Lenny.

I've been trying to
contact you for a while.

I got a long-distance
call from a Mr. Mooney,

your father's lawyer.
He's been trying to reach you.

Your father has died, Charlie.

- Charlie?
- Uh-huh.

I'm sorry. The funeral's
tomorrow in Cincinnati.

He said you'd know where.

I've got his number.

That's not necessary.
Anything else?

No, that's it. Listen, Charlie,
if there's anything I can do...

- All right.
- ...just call...

Sorry about the weekend, hon.

Charlie, the weekend?

Look, I told you before, we had
a falling out a long time ago.

My mother died when I was two.
It was just him and me.

We just didn't get along.

You're going to the funeral, no?

Yeah.

I'm coming with you.

That's really sweet, but there's
really no point, you know?

I want to. That's the point.

All right. Sorry, I forgot
who I was talking to.

...for our memory, admiration

and respect for him

will live beyond the years
of his life on Earth.

Let us consecrate ourselves
to follow his example

of zest for life,

dedication to family,

and charity to all.

And now, with sure and certain
hope of resurrection, life,

we commend to you the soul
of our departed friend.

Just have to go over the details
of the will with him tonight,

then we're outta here.

Sure, I can wait in
the car if you like.

Somebody should be watering
those roses, they're all dying.

I knew this car my whole
life. Only drove it once.

It's a 1949 Buick
Roadmaster convertible.

Only 8,000 production models
made. Straight-8. Fireball-8.

It was the first full year of
the Dynaflow transmission.

I know it by rote.

You were his only child.

You came along when he was,
what, 45 or something?

Probably thought he was
never going to have a son.

So he had to love you.

I think you're exaggerating.

You were his child,
his son, his blood.

Anyway, in these pictures here,
he doesn't look like a man

- who doesn't love his child.
- What are you doing looking at this?

- Put that away.
- No.

Put that away. You
wanna hear a story?

- I'll tell you one story.
- But don't get mad.

I'm just saying. You know the
convertible in the garage? His baby.

- That and the goddamn roses.
- Buick.

The car was off-limits to me.
"That's a classic," he'd say.

"It commands respect.
It's not for children."

Tenth grade, I'm 16 years
old, and for once,

I bring home a report card
and it's almost all A's.

I go to my old man,
"Can I take the car out?"

Take the guys out in the Buick,
sort of a victory drive.

He says no.

I take it anyway. I steal
the keys, I sneak it out.

You took the car
with no permission?

- Yes.
- Why? Why then?

Because I deserved it.

Nothing I did was good
enough for this guy.

Don't you understand that?

We're on Columbia
Parkway, four kids.

- We get pulled over.
- An accident?

Pulled over.

- What is pulled over? Police?
- Yes, police.

- Can I finish?
- Yes.

He called in a report
of a stolen car,

not his son took the car
without permission,

just stolen. Central station, the other
guys' dads bail them out in an hour,

- he left me there two days.
- He left you in prison for two days?

Two days.

Were you scared?

Yeah, I was scared.

Left home. I never saw him again.

Charlie, after a year
we've been together,

this is the first time
I've heard this story.

It's strange, no?

I mean, how can you keep all this
inside you and not say anything?

When I was a kid and I got scared,

the Rain Man would
come and sing to me.

Rain what?

You know, one of those
imaginary childhood friends.

What happened to him?

Nothing. I just grew up.

Not so much.

"And I remember, too,
the day you left home,

"so full of bitterness
and grandiose ideas,

"so full of yourself.

"And being raised without a mother,

"the hardness of your heart
is understandable, as well.

"Your refusal to even pretend
that you loved or respected me,

"all these I forgive.

"But your failure to
write, to telephone,

"to reenter my life in any way,

"has left me without a son.

"I wish you all I
ever wanted for you.

"I wish you the best."

"I hereby bequeath to my son,
Charles Sanford Babbitt,

"that certain Buick convertible,

"the very car that, unfortunately,
brought our relationship to an end.

"Also, outright title to my
prize-winning hybrid rosebushes.

"May they remind him of
the value of excellence

"and the possibility of perfection.

"As for my home and all other
property, real and personal,

"these shall be placed in trust

"in accordance with the terms
of that certain instrument

"executed concurrently herewith."

The last part, what does that mean?

It means that the estate,

in excess of $3 million
after expenses and taxes,

will go into a trust fund

for a beneficiary to be
named in this document.

Who is that?

I'm afraid I can't tell you that.

Who controls the money?
You? You control the money?

No, it's called a trustee.

What is that? How does that work?
How does that work?

Forgive me, but there's
nothing more I can say.

Now, I'm sorry, son. I can see
that you're disappointed.

Disappointed? Why should
I be disappointed?

I got rosebushes, didn't I?
I got a used car, didn't I?

What's-his-name got...
What'd you call him?

- Beneficiary.
- Right, beneficiary. He got $3 million.

But he didn't get the rosebushes.
I got the rosebushes.

I definitely got the rosebushes.

- Charles...
- I definitely got the rosebushes.

- I mean, those are rosebushes.
- There is no need...

To what?

To be upset?

To be upset?

If there is a hell, sir,

my father is in it, and he
is looking up right now

and he is laughing his
ass off. Sanford Babbitt,

you want to be that guy's son for five
minutes? Did you hear that letter?

- Were you listening?
- Yes, sir, I was. Were you?

No. Could you repeat it?
I can't believe my fuckin' ears.

I was looking for you.

How did it go?

I got what I expected.

Susanna, this could
take a few minutes.

Can I help you?

Yes, I think you can.

I have a problem with
a private trust...

- That's a terrific suit.
- Thank you.

My father was Sanford Babbitt...

Is this Wallbrook?

Excuse me. Is this Wallbrook?

Excuse me.

Dr. Bruner is still in conference.

Would you like to wait
in his outer office?

No, we'll stay here. Thank you.

Maybe we're not supposed to
be looking around here, no?

Good to have you here. Good
luck to all three of you.

$20 starts you all off on a very
important match, starts with this.

In what 1980 comedy film did Goldie
Hawn get away from it all? Lisa?

- Lisa?
- Private Benjamin.

Excuse me, please. I want
to watch the TV, please.

For whose grandson

was the presidential retreat
Camp David named? Lisa?

- Eisenhower.
- That's right. For David Eisenhower.

You've got another five.
$10 lead for Lisa.

In days of yore, what would a
swashbuckler keep in his sheath?

Whatever this is, I don't
understand the point of secrecy.

This patient is an old
girlfriend of my father's?

Mr. Babbitt, I knew your father
since you were two years old.

The year my mother died.

Look, I'm trustee of the fund,

but this hospital receives
nothing from that.

That hardly seems fair. Maybe that's
something that we could discuss.

I took on this burden out
of loyalty to your father.

That's where my loyalty ends.

And you think I should feel
a little of that loyalty?

I think you feel cheated
out of your birthright

by a man who had
difficulty showing love.

And I think if I were in your
shoes, I'd probably feel the same.

I was hoping that we could talk,

that you would explain
my father's side of it,

help me understand the
right in what he's done,

because, failing that, I have
responsibilities of my own,

and they have to be met,
even if that means a fight.

Sorry, this is not your car.
It's my boyfriend's.

Yeah, my dad lets me drive
slow on the driveway.

I'm an excellent driver.

Are you sure that
you drive this car?

There's only 28 miles on the odometer since
I drove it a week ago, last Saturday.

Should be more than 28 miles.

Look, my boyfriend is coming.

Course, today's Monday.

I always drive the car on
Saturday, never drive on Monday.

What is this? Who is this guy?

I don't know, he
jumped into the car.

Well, he can jump out.

I'm an excellent driver.

That's good. Come on, come on.

Why did you let him get in
this car? It's not a toy.

He says he... He says
he drives this car.

Dad lets me drive slow on the
driveway every Saturday.

Course, the seats were originally brown
leather, now they're pitiful red.

You know, these seats
were brown leather.

You know this car?

I know this car.

How do you know this car?

Definitely know this car.
It's a 1949 Buick Roadmaster.

Straight-S, Fireball-8.
Only 8,095 production models.

Dad lets me drive slow on the
driveway, but not on Monday.

Definitely not on Monday.

- Who's your dad?
- Sanford Babbitt.

Sanford Babbitt?

10961 Beechcrest Street,
Cincinnati, Ohio.

That's my address.
What is it with this guy?

Hey, who's your mother?

Eleanor Babbitt.

Eleanor?

Died January 5, 1965, after
a short and sudden illness.

Who the hell are you?

- Uh-oh.
- Huh?

Wait a second, where are you going?

Thirteen minutes to Judge
Wapner and The People's Court.

Hold it, wait a second here,
I want to ask you a question.

"What you are witnessing is real.
The participants are not..."

Hey, I'm talking to you!

Bruner, who is this guy?

Raymond is your brother.

"...have their dispute
settled here in our forum,

"The People's Court."

My brother? I don't have a brother.

"...court cases, and have their
dispute settled here in our forum,

"The People's Court."

"The People's Court."

"The People's Court."

The People's Court.

Hello, I'm Doug Llewelyn,

and welcome to The People's Court.

- What, is he crazy?
- No.

- Is he retarded?
- Not exactly.

Well, he's not crazy, he's
not retarded, but he's here.

He's an autistic savant.

I don't know what that means.

Some people like him used
to be called idiot savants.

They have certain deficiencies,
certain abilities.

Yeah, but he's retarded.

Autistic. Actually,
high-functioning.

What does that mean?

It means that there's a disability

that impairs the sensory input
and how it's processed.

English here. You're
talking over my head.

Raymond has a problem
communicating and learning.

He can't even express himself,

or probably even

understand his own emotions
in a traditional way.

...and after that, the dog bit him.

I yelled at my dog,
the dog laid down...

There are dangers
everywhere for Raymond.

Routines, rituals, it's all
he has to protect himself.

Rituals. That's a good one.

It's the way he acts,

sleeps, eats,

uses the bathroom, walks,
talks, everything.

Any break from the routines,
and it's terrifying.

How long has he been here?

Well, let's see.
I came here in 1960.

No, how old is he?

He was 18 or 20 then. I'd
have to check the records...

- You've been here that long?
- That's when I actually started.

So that's '65, '75, '85.

I was almost three years old
and you knew he had a brother,

you knew I was his brother.

Yes, but what's the point?

What's the point? What's
the fuckin' point is

why didn't anybody tell
me I had a brother?

What would you have done about it?

I don't know.

Does he know how much
money he's been left?

No, he doesn't understand
the concept of money.

He doesn't understand
the concept of money.

He's just inherited $3 million,

and he doesn't understand
the concept of money?

That is fucking poetic,

don't you think?

Good old Dad.

...name's yes. Then
who's playing first? Yes.

I mean the fellow's name
on first base. Who.

The fellow playing first
base for St. Louis. Who.

- What are you asking me for?
- What is this? Why is he doing that?

Whenever he gets nervous,
he does "Who's on First?"

- You know, from Abbott and Costello.
- Yeah. Why?

Why? It's his way of dealing with you
touching things, his books and stuff.

So he memorized "Who's on First?"

Yeah, that among other things.

Raymond, Ted Klus-zesski.

- Kluszewski.
- Kluszewski.

Kluszewski, Ted Kluszewski,
Big Klew, first base.

He played for Cincinnati?

Course, he was traded
for Dee Fondy, 1957.

- Lifetime batting average .298.
- All these great books. He reads, huh?

Reads and remembers whatever
he gets his hands on.

Oh, Vern. V-E-R-N!

Course, these people are
gonna be here all day, Vern.

This is an unannounced visit, Vern.

This is definitely not
a weekend visit, Vern.

- He's getting anxious. It's okay, Ray!
- Oh, Vern!

This is an unannounced visit, Vern.

Put it back. He said not
to touch the books.

Not to touch books.

- You like Shakespeare, Ray?
- I don't know.

- Did you read all this?
- I don't know.

- You don't know?
- Vern.

- Did you read Macbeth?
- I don't know. Vern.

- You read Hamlet?
- I don't know. Vern!

- Read the Twelfth Night?
- Stop it!

- Yes.
- Yes?

Yes.

You read all these stories
that are in this book,

and you don't know if
you read the book?

I don't know. V-E-R-N.

You don't know?

Maybe you better put it back.

You don't know, okay. No, Ray,
take it easy, I'm not going to...

I won't touch anything else, Ray.

It's okay, Ray. It's okay. Come on.

My main man.

Yeah, Vern, my main man.

My main man, Vern.

- It's okay, Ray.
- Yeah.

- My main man.
- Yeah, my main man.

Here.

Here are your cards.

I'm sorry, I didn't know where
you want me to put them.

Are you taking any
prescription medication?

He likes you. That's just
his way of showing it.

Uh-oh.

When I touched him
before, he pulled away.

Don't take it personal.

He never touched me.

I'm closer to him than
anybody in the world.

Known him for nine years.

It's not in him.

If I left town tomorrow
and didn't say goodbye...

- Uh-oh.
- ...he'd never notice.

He wouldn't notice if you left?

I'm not sure, but I don't think
people are his first priority.

Hey, Ray, you want
to go take a walk?

Hmm? Ray?

Ray?

Can he hear us when he's like that?

Hey, man. You wanna show
your brother your ducks?

Course, it's 27
minutes to Jeopardy!

Don't worry, Ray, we'll
bring you right back.

Practically 26 minutes to Jeopardy!

We'll bring him right back.

26 minutes to Jeopardy!

I won't do it.

I can't do it.

First of all because of your tone
of voice, this commanding...

You're upset. Just calm down.

And second thing is because
you didn't tell me why.

- Raymond, I'm gonna talk to Susanna alone.
- Bye, Raymond.

Susanna, just hold on.
Okay? I'll be right back.

No. Just stay.

Just stay there.

No, Raymond. Raymond.
Raymond. Raymond!

Just stay there. Just stand
still, okay? That's good.

Okay, I'll do it if you tell
me why. Why do I do, uh...

What?

Why do I have to take the
car and go down there

and wait for you again at the gate?

- I've been waiting for you for days.
- No.

- Why?
- It's for Raymond.

The car disturbs him.

- That's why?
- That's why.

Okay, Raymond.

What are you looking at, Ray?

Ray, the ducks are over here,
what are you looking at?

I don't know.

Listen, our father died.

Did you know that he died last
week, did they tell you that?

I don't know.

You don't know if they told you,
or you don't know what dead is?

That means he's gone. He's not with
us anymore. He's at the cemetery.

You want to go see him
at the cemetery, Ray?

I don't know.

Does that mean maybe? Does
that mean maybe you wanna go?

I don't know.

You know, I live in Los Angeles.

I thought maybe you'd go to Los
Angeles, like to see a Dodger game.

Go see the Dodgers play.

Today's an off day.

We don't have to go today.

Monday. No games scheduled.

Just thought maybe you'd like
to go to Los Angeles with me,

you know, go see Fernando
Valenzuela pitch.

Fernando Valenzuela pitched Saturday.
Not scheduled to pitch till Wednesday.

- He's gonna pitch on Wednesday?
- Wednesday.

I'm not doing anything
on Wednesday.

Yeah, Wednesday.

- Let's go to L.A.
- Yeah.

Come on, Ray.

Course, it's a long
way to California.

I'm definitely not supposed to be off
the grounds for more than two hours.

Definitely have to be
back in two hours.

Wait till you get there. The people,
crowds cheering. You'll love it.

Have to be back in two hours.

- Here's the Presidential Suite.
- Dinner's at 6:30 p.m.

And to the left is Raymond's room.

Look at this big,
beautiful room, huh, Ray?

This is not my room, this
is definitely not my room.

It's just for tonight, Ray.

Have to go back to
Wallbrook for dinner.

Little guy, little guy!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

This is gonna be terrific.

We're brothers. Dr. Bruner wants
us to spend time together.

We're gonna have some fun.

- When did he say that?
- He said that.

Course, I don't have
my tapioca pudding.

We have tapioca
pudding for dessert.

Yeah, well, we can do that. We can work
tapioca pudding, I'm gonna call Lenny.

Course, this is definitely not my room,
and I don't have my tapioca pudding,

and the bed's in the wrong place.

That's definitely not my bed.

You don't like it
there, you can move it.

- Where do you want the bed, Raymond?
- Should be near the window.

Course, I don't have my books.

Course, there are no bookshelves.

I'm definitely out of books.
I'm gonna be bookless.

Here's a book.

Big telephone book, huh?
Lot of words.

Lenny, pick up, will you?

I got $200,000 about to
go in the shit house,

and he doesn't wanna
answer the phone.

What is it, 6:00 here? That means
it's 9:00 there, huh, Susanna?

- No, it's 3:00 there.
- 6:30 p.m. is dinner.

It's 3:00 there.

It's 3:00, he doesn't
want to answer the phone?

Orange soda.

Has to be in a can with a straw.
Room temperature.

Bruner told you that
you should do this?

- Huh?
- It doesn't make sense to me.

I know what's good for him.

Uh-oh!

Uh-oh! V-E-R-N!

Oh, God. Go see what
he's doing, will you?

Ray?

- V-E-R-N! Home... Home...
- What is it, Ray? Huh?

What's happening, homes?

- Uh-oh.
- It's fine, everything is fine.

Charlie, let's take
him home. Come on.

No, he's okay.

We'll just get him some
dinner, he'll be all right.

What'd you say you
wanted? Hamburger?

Hamburger, Ray? Huh?

Course, we have pepperoni pizza
Monday night for dinner.

Pizza? You get pizza
in the institution?

Course, Monday night's
Italian Night.

Hello, offices of
Mitchell & Mitchell.

Yeah, get me Stu. This is
Charlie Babbitt calling.

I'm sorry, he's not here.

Where is he? I got a bit
of a legal problem here.

He's out of town until
tomorrow afternoon.

All right, I'll call him tomorrow.

No TV during dinnertime.
Definitely not.

Yes, but we can watch TV here.

- We can. We're allowed.
- Yeah. Yeah.

"Wheel of Fortune!

"Look at this studio filled
with glamorous merchandise,

"fabulous and exciting
bonus prizes.

"A pair of cars for
today's busy couple.

"Thousands of dollars in cash.

"Over $150,000 just
waiting to be won

"as we present our
big bonanza of cash

"on Wheel of Fortune."

Yeah, room service, Suite 21.
I'd like to order a large pizza.

Pepperoni, right?

No, I don't want pepperoni.

That's right. A large pepperoni.

- How long's that going to take?
- 20 minutes.

Bring some beer up for
two, and orange soda.

Tapioca pudding, you
got tapioca pudding?

No, sir, we don't have any.

Well, just bring the closest
thing. All right, great.

- Here, Ray.
- Yeah.

- Take this, and food is coming shortly.
- Yeah. Yeah.

- And I'll be right back.
- Yeah.

Course, I'm going to be here for
a long time. A very long time.

I'm gone for good, gone
for good from my home.

If I had said anything,
or did anything...

Get out of here!

It's all right, Susan.

J.J., it's lucky I came right
over after I got your message.

I got here as quickly
as I could, but...

What message?

What message?

Well, be that as it may,
someone called me...

- Oh, si, si.
- Si.

It's just lucky I got your message
and came over here in time.

Why?

J. J., Susie was so depressed
she tried to kill herself.

- Ah.
- Uh.

- Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh.

What is that?

- I think Raymond is in the room.
- What?

Raymond, are you in here?

Charlie, Charlie Babbitt.

Well, get out.

Get out!

- Go!
- Stop it!

Uh-oh.

- Jesus Christ!
- Stop it.

Go in there with him.

- Come on, Charlie, go in there.
- What?

- He's your brother.
- Why?

He's afraid. He doesn't
understand this.

Come on, go in there!

Raymond, what were you doing in
my room? Raymond. Raymond!

- What were you doing in my room?
- I don't know.

You don't know what you
were doing in my room.

- Course, there were noises.
- There were noises.

Well, those noises are none of your
business, you understand that? Huh?

Put the phone book down, stop acting
like an idiot, and go to sleep.

Hey, did you hear what
I said? Go to sleep!

Go to sleep!

Course, it's nine minutes to
11:00. Lights out at 11:00.

Yeah, well, new rules.

You don't listen to me.
You don't listen to me.

What? What are you talking about?

I asked you to go there and apologize.
You went there and insulted him again!

What am I supposed to do,
tuck him in? I'm not his mother.

Charlie, you're his brother. His brother!
They tell you today for the first time

that you have a brother, and
I don't see in your face

- one little reaction.
- Take it easy. Take it easy.

I'm not saying joy,
I'm saying something.

Take it easy, you don't know
what I'm going through here.

No, I don't know what
you're going through.

What are you going through?
Because I don't know.

Because you don't tell me anything.

- You just give me lies, lies, lies.
- Lies, lies? What lies?

The thing that Dr. Bruner asked you
to bring him here, this is bullshit.

I know it's not true. So why don't
you tell me, why is he here?

'Cause I'm pissed at him.

- At who?
- At my father.

You're pissed at your father,
and you bring Raymond here why?

I don't know why. 'Cause I
got him and they want him.

- This makes no sense!
- Raymond was left all the money,

- and I got nothing.
- How much?

$3 million. The inheritance,
every penny of it.

- So?
- So I'm gonna keep him till I get my half!

I deserve that!

What is this? Huh? Susanna?

- Just take it easy here.
- I've had enough.

What? You've had enough? What does
that mean, you've had enough?

I've just had enough, I'm leaving.

- You're leaving?
- Yes.

You're leaving me now? I need you.

- I need you now.
- What? You need nobody.

What does that mean?

What? Just take it easy.
What is my crime here?

- What is my goddamn crime?
- Your crime is that you use people!

You're using Raymond!
You're using me!

You use everybody.

I'm using Raymond? Raymond!

Raymond, am I using you?
Am I using you, Raymond?

- Yeah.
- Shut up!

He is answering a question
from a half-hour ago!

What good is $3 million to him?

That money is only just gonna sit
there for the rest of his life.

And I need that money, you
know I need that money!

Yeah, you need them, so it's
hardly like stealing, no?

And when it's over, what
happens to Raymond?

He'll go back to Wallbrook,
or a better place.

With the money, I will put
him in a better place.

What difference does it make?
He is gonna be just the same!

Only you have his money, yeah!

His money? That man
was my father, too.

What about my fuckin' half?
Where's my fuckin' half?

I'm entitled to that money!

You've kidnapped this man!

- I did not take him.
- Yes, you did.

I did not take him, I took my half.

Which half? You're crazy!

Yeah, it runs in the family.

You're wet, soaking wet and you're gonna
leave in the middle of the night.

Would you just... Just wait!

My father has stuck
it to me all my life.

- What do you want from me?
- I want out.

Out.

Stop it.

Good morning. Coffee?

Yes. That'd be good.

Sally Dibbs. Dibbs, Sally.

461-0192.

How did you know my phone number?

How'd you know that?

You said read the telephone
book last night. Dibbs, Sally.

461-0192.

He remembers things,
little things sometimes.

Very clever, boys.
I'll be right back.

How'd you do that?

- I don't know.
- You memorized the whole book?

No.

- You start from the beginning?
- Yeah.

- How far did you get?
- "G."

- "G"?
- "G." Gottsaken.

William Marshall Gottsaken.

- You memorized to "G"?
- Yeah, "G."

A, B, C, D, E, F, G?

"G." Half Of "G."

- That's good, Ray.
- Yeah.

- I like that.
- Yeah.

We hungry?

- Yeah, Tuesday we have pancakes.
- Pancakes.

- That sounds good. We'll get some pancakes.
- Yeah, with maple syrup.

- Hey, bet your butt.
- Bet your butt.

Uh-oh.

- They got pancakes.
- Uh-oh.

What is this, Ray?

Course, I don't have
my tooth picks.

No, you don't need toothpicks.

That was okay in the hotel
last night with the pizza,

but in a restaurant,
you eat with a fork.

Course, I don't have
my tooth picks.

You don't need toothpicks, Ray.

Pancakes keep sliding off.
You're gonna eat with a fork.

I don't have my maple
syrup, either.

I'm gonna be without my maple
syrup and my toothpicks.

You don't see any
pancakes, do you, Ray?

Course, your promised
maple syrup is not here.

Ray? When we order the pancakes,
they're gonna bring the maple syrup.

Maple syrup is supposed to be on
the table before the pancakes.

We haven't ordered yet, Ray.

Course, when they bring the
maple syrup after the pancakes,

it'll definitely be too late.

How is that gonna be
too late? Huh, Ray?

We haven't ordered the pancakes
yet. How is that gonna be...

We're gonna be here
the entire morning

with no maple syrup
and no toothpicks,

I'm definitely, definitely not
gonna have my pancakes with...

- Ow!
- Ray.

- Don't make a scene.
- Ow!

Stop acting like a fuckin' retard.

Uh-oh.

What is this, what are you writing?

What the fuck is this?

"Serious... Serious injury list"?

"Charlie Babbitt.
Serious injury list"?

What, are you fuckin' kidding me?

"Number 18 in 1988.

"Squeezed and pulled and
hurt my neck in 1988."

Squeezed and pulled and
hurt your neck in 1988?

- Dr. Bruner, it's Charlie Babbitt.
- Where are you, son?

It's not important. What
matters is who I'm with.

You have to bring him back, Mr.
Babbitt. Do you understand me?

No problem whatsoever.
That'll be $1.5 million.

- I'm not greedy, I just want my half.
- Uh-oh.

Raymond, don't touch
that. That's dirty.

I can't do that, Mr.
Babbitt. You know I can't.

Just bring him back, and
bring him back now.

This is where he belongs.

I'm his brother. It's not
like kidnapping, is it?

He's always been a
voluntary patient here,

but that's beside the point.

The fact of the matter is, this is
where he can get the best care.

We're talking about his well-being.

Yeah, let's just cut through
the bullshit, okay?

Now, I am entitled to part
of my father's estate.

If you don't want to cut a deal with
me, I'll fly him back to Los Angeles,

stick him in an
institution out there,

and we can have a custody
battle over him.

Miss, he needs toothpicks.

Could you help him, get him some
toothpicks? Thank you very much.

You want to battle
me in the courts?

Think about that,

Dr. Bruner, think about that.

Or we can cut a deal right now.

I don't think you have any idea of
the severity of Raymond's condition.

Toothpicks. He needs some
toothpicks. Can we just get him...

- some toothpicks over here?
- Yeah.

And I cannot, under any circumstances,
make any money deals with you.

Then I'll see you in court.

Can I have the check?
Sorry about the toothpicks.

82, 82, 82.

82 what, Ray?

- How much is this?
- Toothpicks.

It's a lot more than
82 toothpicks, Ray.

Course, 246 total.

Keep the change.

Ray. How many
toothpicks are in there?

250.

Pretty close. Come on.
Let's go, Ray.

246.

There's four left in the box.

Course, I have to get my backpack.

Forgot my backpack.

97X. The future of rock and roll.

97X. Bam. The future
of rock and roll.

97X. Bam. The future
of rock and roll.

97X. Bam. The future
of rock and roll.

Ray. Ray.

Enough already. Change the channel.

97X. Bam. The future
of rock and roll.

97X. Bam. The future
of rock and roll.

Lenny, I don't care what you
think. Did they say that?

You're gonna have to be a lot
more forceful with them.

Lenny, are you... Lenny, listen.

Lenny, Lenny, shut
up a moment here.

I am in serious trouble here. I can't get
to these cars. I can't get the money.

Do you understand that?
My loan is past due.

Look, I'll call the loan office...

Lenny...

...tell them we have
a little problem.

Charlie, let me talk...

Lenny, just listen to me. I'll
be in LAX in three hours, okay?

Now, remember the Buick is in A3, main
terminal. Make sure they pick it up.

All right, well, right.
We'll see you in a few.

Raymond, let's go. Raymond.

Ray! Ray, let's go. Come on.

- What are you watching, Ray?
- I don't know.

You don't know?

Final call for Flight 1569,

service to Salt Lake
City and Los Angeles.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Course, there's
an airplane out there.

Yeah, that's right, and
everybody's boarding. Let's go.

Airline travel's very dangerous.

Don't be silly. It's the
safest travel in the world.

- You're gonna love this. Trust me.
- Yeah.

- Now, come on.
- Oh, no.

- Ray.
- Yeah.

We're in an airport.
People fly out of airports.

What did you think we were
doing here this whole time?

Flying's very dangerous. 1987,
there were 30 airline accidents.

211 were fatalities, 231
were definitely passengers.

This plane is very safe.
Believe me.

I gotta get to L.A. I don't have
time for this shit. Come on.

- I don't know, I don't know.
- Ray, Ray...

- You don't know?
- No.

- What is it? This airline?
- Yeah.

- Is it this airline?
- Yeah.

Okay, fine. We can...

There's an American plane...

American Flight 625
crashed April 27, 1976.

We don't have to take American,
there's a lot of flights.

Yeah. Pick another airline.

Continental.

Continental crashed
November 15, 1987.

Flight 1713. 28 casualties.

- This is very serious, Ray.
- Very serious.

You see, I have to
get to Los Angeles.

All right? So you're gonna get on
that plane, do you understand me?

- Yeah.
- You're gonna have to get on a plane.

Yeah, get on a plane.

Now, there's a Delta.

It leaves at midnight,
Ray, but how's Delta?

Delta crashed August 2,
1985. Lockheed L-1011.

- Dallas/Fort Worth.
- All right, Ray.

- Terrible wind shear. 135 passengers.
- All airlines!

All airlines have crashed
at one time or another.

That doesn't mean that
they are not safe.

- Qantas.
- Qantas?

Qantas never crashed.

- Qantas?
- Never crashed.

Well, that's... That's going
to do me a lot of good, Ray.

You see, Qantas doesn't fly
to L.A. out of Cincinnati.

- You have gotta get to Melbourne.
- Australia.

Melbourne, Australia in order to get
the plane that flies to Los Angeles!

- Do you hear me?
- Canberra's the capital.

16.2 million population.
Very lovely beaches.

You and I are gonna get
on this fucking plane!

No.

Ray, Ray, Ray!

We're not going to take the plane.
He's okay, he's okay!

He's okay. We're not
going to take the plane.

Ray. Ray, just...

Just relax. He was...

He was upset. We were
gonna take the plane.

We're not gonna take the plane now.
We're not gonna take the plane.

- We're not gonna fly, okay?
- No flying.

- We're not gonna fly.
- No flying.

- You tire me, Ray.
- Yeah.

We're going to drive to Los Angeles.
We're gonna drive to L.A.

Okay? Come on, Ray.

- Ray, come on.
- Yeah.

- Come on. Here.
- No flying.

Take the bag. We're not gonna take the
plane, Ray. Just grab the fucking bag, man.

No flying.

You're killing me, Ray. I just want
you to know you are killing me, man.

- No flying.
- I got to be in L.A. in three hours,

it's gonna take me three days.

Come on. Come on.

No flying.

- No flying.
- No flying.

Course, I got Jeopardy! at 5:00.

I watch Jeopardy! at 5:00.

- Don't start with that.
- I've got Jeopardy! at 5:00.

- Dispatch, this is 1-0-9.
- Go ahead, 1-0-9.

See if you can get another unit
up here for point control.

Two more over to you. 10-40.

Come on. Let's go!

- Bring some more up.
- What's your E.T.A.?

Uh-oh.

Ray.

- Ray, get in the car.
- Driving is dangerous.

Just get in the car.
Are you crazy? Huh?

We'll be outta this in a second.

- Yeah.
- That's good.

It's okay. That's right.

Yeah. We'll be outta here in
a few seconds. That's good.

That's good. That's good.

There's definitely a fatal
accident over there.

Ray. Ray.

Hey! We don't need your help
up here. Go on back to your car.

Just a minute!

Ray. Ray. Ray.

Ray.

Excuse... Hey!

- Just wait...
- There's nothing to see here.

Go back and get in your car.

Yes, sir.

- Wrecks just make him nervous.
- Fine. Go back and get in your car.

Yes, sir. Just stay there by
the side, okay, Raymond?

- Ray! Listen, Ray. Just stay there.
- A lot of traffic.

Yeah. Definitely a lot of traffic.

Hell of a lot of
work for $3 million.

Just leave him on the goddamn highway
and just get the hell outta here.

Yeah. What? I hear ya! I hear ya!

Stay in your car!

What's it gonna be, Ray?
What's it gonna be?

This is a very dangerous highway.

How am I gonna get to L.A.?

Course, driving a car on this
interstate is very dangerous.

You wanna get off the highway?
Will that make you happy?

- Yeah.
- Yeah? Well, you gotta get in the car

in order to get off the highway!

Course, in 1986, 46,400 male drivers were
definitely involved in fatal accidents.

All right, I got an idea.
I got a great idea.

You'll stay in front of the car
until we get off the exit.

You'll get in, and we'll take
the not-so-dangerous road.

Whatever that might be.

- Is that an idea?
- Yeah.

Come on. Give me five,
Ray. That's a great idea.

- Yeah.
- Give me five. Yeah. Yeah.

This guy's a fuckin' fruitcake.

I'm asking you. Who's on first?
That's the man's name.

That's whose name? Yes.
Go ahead and tell me.

Who? The guy on first.
Who? The first baseman.

Who is on first.

Whose wife? Yes.

After all, the man
earns it. Who does?

Absolutely.

All I'm tryin' to find out is what
the guy's name on first base.

No. What is on second base.

I'm not asking you who's on
second base. Who's on first?

That's what I'm tryin' to find out.

Get the hell in the car!

Don't change the players.
Yeah, get in the car.

Get in the car.

Course, I have to
be in bed by 11:00.

Lights out at 11:00.
Have to watch TV.

Course, now it's almost
19 minutes to 11:00.

I have to be in bed
at 11:00. Lights out.

Don't start with this. We're not flying.
We're not on the interstate.

I'm on some shit secondary road.
I gotta make up some time.

I gotta get to Los Angeles.

I should have been there this
afternoon. My business needs me.

I gotta make up some time.

Definitely watch TV,

but you have to be in
bed at 11:00. Lights out.

Forget it.

Uh-oh, 19 minutes to 11:00.

This is a good one.

"We don't go out when it rains."

This is a real good one, Ray.
I hope you appreciate this,

because my business is going
down the fuckin' toilet.

I should be in L.A.

Instead, I'm in the Honeymoon Haven
Motel in Bumblefuck, Missouri,

because you won't go
out when it rains.

It's mystifying. I mean,
it's fucking mystifying.

What is this?

Good news, bad news?

We passed DOT, but failed EPA.

It all ends up the same.
I can't get my money.

Yes, sir, I'm just stuck in
Cincinnati since the funeral.

So many leftover details.

My family is, needless to say,

quite overwhelmed.

Thank you. I appreciate it.

Well, it is a shock,
to say the least.

Thank you. Is there any way I can
get an extension on that loan?

Just a couple of days.

It would make a world
of difference.

"We don't go out
when it's raining."

What? Speak up, Lenny.

Lenny, I bought time,
I didn't buy that kind of time.

What I want you to do is you're
gonna have to... How much?

- Course, it's 12:30.
- What?

Lunch is 12:30.

- Hold on. What do you want for lunch?
- Wednesday's fish sticks.

- Fish sticks?
- Green lime JELL-O for dessert.

Green lime JELL-O.
Want another apple juice?

I want orange soda. Oh, it's 12:31.

I gotta go. He's starting
to rock and moan.

- Yeah, it's definitely 12:32.
- It's okay. No.

Course, there's four fish sticks.

There's supposed to
be eight fish sticks.

Eight? There's eight.

You take a shower, Ray? Hmm? Ray?

- Ray, you take a shower, right?
- Yeah.

- Right?
- Yeah.

It's the same as the rain.
You get a little wet.

What do you say, Ray?
What do you say? Huh?

Course, the shower's
in the bathroom.

That's the end of
that conversation.

- Go again.
- British Poetry for 200, please.

The answer at the top
of the category.

"Shakespeare wrote over 150
poems in this 14-line form."

- What is a sonnet?
- What is a sonnet?

- You got it.
- Let's try Double Letters for 200.

The top of that one.

"The last word in the
Pledge of Allegiance." Mark.

- What is "stands"?
- No.

Stu, legally, Bruner never established
a conservatorship of Raymond?

He didn't figure anyone would
show up to contest his authority.

If that's the case,
I definitely will get custody

- and the $3 million, right?
- Possibly.

Then you set up a date
for the custody hearing.

Stu, I want a firm date,
and I want it early.

I found that it was
an original record,

because the original
song had two verses...

Lenny, she hasn't come
in, she hasn't called?

If you see her or hear from her,

tell her to call me at this number.

The Air Alpha Force, from Nike.

Would you look at that? 1957
Studebaker Golden Hawk.

Zero to 60 in under eight seconds.

275 supercharged horsepower
under that hood.

- That's beautiful.
- Course, I'm an excellent driver.

- You know how to drive?
- Yeah.

When did you drive?

Course, I drove the
Buick on the driveway

when my dad came to Wallbrook.

Was Dad in the car?
Was Dad in the car, Ray?

Yeah.

And he let you drive the Buick?

Yeah, slow on the driveway.

I'll have to let you
drive sometime.

Raymond! Raymond! Raymond!

You never, never touch the
steering wheel when I'm driving!

- Do you hear me?
- Yeah.

Course, I don't have my underwear.

- What?
- I'm definitely not wearing my underwear.

What are you talking about?

I gave you a fresh pair
of mine this morning.

Not my underwear.

I told you to go in the bathroom
and put them on. Where are they?

Course, they're in the
pocket of my jacket.

- Where?
- Here.

These are too tight.

- I don't want them back, Ray.
- These are not boxer shorts.

Mine are boxer shorts.

- What's the difference?
- These are Hanes 32.

My boxer shorts have my name.

- It says "Raymond."
- All right.

When we pass a store, we'll pick
you up a pair of boxer shorts.

I get my boxer shorts
at Kmart in Cincinnati.

We're not going back to Cincinnati,
Ray, so don't even start with that.

400 Oak Street.

You're not going
back to Cincinnati.

You don't have to go to Cincinnati
to pick up boxer shorts.

- It's Oak and Burnett, in Cincinnati.
- What did I say, Ray?

It's Kmart.

You hear me. I know you hear me.

You don't fool me with
this shit for a second.

Yours are too tight.

Ray, did you fuckin'
hear what I said?

- Shut up!
- Yeah.

Cincinnati's a long way off.

We're getting further
away from Kmart.

You don't have to go to Cincinnati
to get a pair of underwear at Kmart.

You have to go to Kmart.
400 Oak Street.

What'd I tell you, Ray? We're not
going to Cincinnati. That's final.

I get my boxer shorts at Kmart.

Raymond, that is final!
Do you hear me?

I'm gonna be short-less.

What difference does it make...

What difference does it make
where you buy underwear?

What difference does it make?

Underwear is underwear!

It is underwear
wherever you buy it!

In Cincinnati or wherever!

Kmart.

- You know what I think, Ray?
- Kmart.

I think this autism
is a bunch of shit!

'Cause you can't tell me
you're not in there somewhere!

Boxer shorts.

Boxer shorts at Kmart.

These are... These are Hanes 32.

- You're driving me crazy.
- Mine are boxer shorts.

We're gonna have to make a little
stop and find a psychiatrist.

You're driving me crazy.

Oak and Burnett, that's
where the shorts are.

'Cause you are driving me crazy.

We have to buy them at
Kmart, Oak and Burnett.

We have to buy them
back in... Uh-oh.

Course, your shorts
are on the highway.

Let's go back to Cincinnati. Kmart.

Good luck trying to find
a shrink in this town.

Raymond?

Hey, you. Hey, dipshit, move it!

If you ain't gonna
move, I'll move you.

Hey, buddy. Hey, you!

- You're gonna get run over out here.
- Hey! Hey!

- You're gonna get hurt. Come on.
- It said, "Don't walk."

- Hey! Do you hear me?
- Yeah. It said, "Don't walk."

Move it. Move it.

Hey, it's all right, sir.

I'm sorry. He's from
out of town. Raymond?

- Come on.
- Yeah.

- It's all right.
- Gotta get to Kmart.

Raymond, Raymond, come on.

Kmart, 400 Oak Street.

It said, "Don't walk."

Yes, it's broken.

It said, "Don't walk."

- This way.
- Have to get to Kmart.

400 Oak and Burnett.

Oak and Burnett.

He said, "Young man, go west,"

and this is the way
our country developed

from the East Coast
to the West Coast.

During that period of
time there was initiated

what was known as the Pony Express.

I'm sure all of you have
read something about it

in the history of
the United States.

I may not have the days
exactly right or the years,

but I'm more or less familiar with
the history of the United States.

He's "artistic"?

No, he's autistic.

I'm not familiar with that.

What is the exact
nature of the problem?

He lives in a world of his own.

I'm sorry, but what's
wrong with him?

It was a problem gettin'
mail from the East Coast...

Raymond, do a little of your
"What's On First?" for her.

Who's on first. What's on second.

Huh?

They set up an initial program

where the Pony Express

would ride for
approximately 20 miles...

What am I supposed to do?

There's gotta be something
that I can do here.

I'm not a psychiatrist,

but I do know that his brain
doesn't work like other people.

What he does isn't
intended to be annoying.

If he's getting on your nerves,
you just take a break.

Spend time away from him.

Sure, I'll just send him back.

- Sorry?
- Nothing,

just kidding, it's an inside joke.

You're telling me I just have to
deal with this stuff, is that it?

I just gotta deal with this stuff.

Yeah, that's about it.

Out of curiosity, does he
have any special abilities?

Well, he's got a
pretty good memory.

He counts toothpicks.

He spilled a box of
toothpicks on the floor.

He took one look at them and he
knew exactly how many there were.

He counted them in seconds.

Ray?

- Raymond?
- Yeah.

Are you good with numbers?

Yeah.

I read about this. I want
to try something here.

Kmart. 400 Oak Street.

What did I tell you? After
this, Raymond. After this.

- Ray, can we try something?
- Yeah.

Do you know how much
312 times 123 is?

38,376.

He's right.

- What?
- He's right.

- He's right?
- Yeah.

Ray, how much is 4,343

times 1,234?

5,359,262.

- He's a genius.
- That's right.

He's a genius.

Ray, do you know how much the
square root of 2,130 is?

46.15192304.

2304.

That's amazing.

That is amazing. He should work
for NASA or something like that.

If you had a dollar, and
you spent 50 cents,

how much money would you have left?

About 70.

- 70 cents?
- 70 cents.

So much for the NASA idea.

Kmart. We should go to Kmart.

What'd I tell ya? After this, Ray.

400 Oak Street.

Ray, do you know how
much a candy bar costs?

About $100.

- $100, huh?
- Yeah.

Do you know how much one of
those new compact cars cost?

About $100.

In his particular case, he's pretty
well-off, he's very high-functioning.

Most autistics, they can't speak
or they can't communicate.

- Ray?
- Yeah.

- Do you know what autistic is?
- Yeah.

- You know that word?
- Yeah.

Are you autistic?

I don't think so.

No, definitely not.

...problem with the
Lamborghinis, Charlie.

Just shut up a second. Let
me see if I understood this.

Very small. Yeah.

It's gonna cost me $10,000
additional for each car.

- Course, it's very crowded in here.
- Is that...

- It's very crowded in here.
- Ray, please, just one second, okay?

Huh? What?

They wanna take out the
manifold and the carburetors

in order to put in a fuel
injection system now?

I mean, that is nonsense.

- I know that you're upset.
- What are you doing?

- Too crowded in here for a backpack.
- Just leave this on.

Yeah. It's gonna cost me
$40,000 just to meet EPA now.

What? No. No. No.

You give me the number. I'm gonna
call the conversion shop myself.

That's my pen. That's
definitely my book.

Taking your book is
not a serious injury.

For serious injury, look at the
red book. That book is blue.

Forgive me. I've lost my
secret decoder ring. 4-5-4-5.

- You're already number 18. In 1988.
- Got it. 1988, I know.

It's my book. That's my pen.

Uh-oh. 12 minutes to Wapner.

It's definitely very small in here.

Small... and safe.

You don't wanna miss the party.

What you're witnessing is real.

Do you know that? There's a
party in your honor, Ray.

When we get to L.A., a custody hearing.
My lawyer's setting it up right now.

You know why there's a party for you?
Because you're the 3-million-dollar man.

What you are witnessing is real.

Ken Aldorf.

- The participants are not actors.
- Charlie Babbitt.

Uh-oh. Fart.

Yeah, Charlie Babbitt. I'll hold.

Uh-oh. Fart.

- Did you fart, Raymond?
- Fart.

- Did you fuckin' fart?
- Fart.

Oh, man. Get the smell out.

- How can you stand that?
- I don't mind it.

How can you stand that?

- Yeah, Ken.
- Ten minutes to Wapner.

Ken? How are you?
This is Charlie Babbitt.

We're definitely locked
in this box with no TV.

I just heard about this
$10,000 charge for every car.

- They're definitely gonna start...
- How can this be?

- How can this possibly happen right now?
- The People's Court starts...

- I don't know.
- You're telling me another $40,000.

They start on the button. They
definitely start on the button.

I've got a problem. I'm gonna have
to call you back from my next stop.

- We're not gonna make it to the program.
- Okay, my next stop.

- Definitely have to go now.
- Yes, we're going, Ray.

- Just take it easy. Just take it easy.
- Eight minutes to Wapner.

Where am I gonna find a
television around here?

- Eight minutes to Wapner.
- We got eight minutes to Wapner.

Come on. Come on.

You wanna get in there and see
the show? Huh? Huh, Raymond?

Wanna get in there and see
the show? Then listen up.

There's not another farmhouse
in sight. This is it, man.

You act weird, we don't get in.
You listening to me?

Yeah.

I want you to look normal. As
normal as possible, all right?

Just put your hands down.
Don't rock and moan.

- Four minutes to Wapner.
- Just shut up and stand there.

Yeah. Uh...

Raymond, don't rock and moan.
Put your hands down.

Good afternoon, ma'am. I'm Donald
Clemons from the A.C. Nielsen Company.

You're familiar with our work?

Nielsen... I... You
mean the TV ratings?

Yes, ma'am. That's exactly it. You've
been selected as a preliminary candidate

to become our next Nielsen
family in the tri-county area.

- My husband's not home.
- If selected...

you'll share the responsibility for
shaping television programming

viewed by our entire nation

in return for which you'll receive a
check in the amount of $286 each month.

Who's he?

That would be my partner,
Mr. Bainbridge, who does sample...

- Oh, boy.
- That's it.

You blew it. You don't
get to see your program.

- It's finished.
- One minute to Wapner.

One minute to Wapner. One minute
to Wapner. One minute to Wapner.

I had you in there, Ray!
You were in there.

Defendants! Plaintiffs!
You had it all!

- Uh-oh.
- They're in there making legal history, Ray.

- Legal history.
- Oh! Oh, boy!

Oh, boy.

What is going on out here?

- I'm sorry, ma'am. I lied to you.
- It's gonna be on.

I am very sorry about that. That
man right there is my brother.

If he doesn't watch People's
Court in about 30 seconds

he's gonna throw a fit
right here on your porch.

Now, you can help me, or you can
stand there and watch it happen.

We like to watch cartoons.
You think he'd settle for that?

...and she sees an identical twin.

True, he didn't have his
shirt on, the other one did,

but they sure look alike to me.

If it got on his chest, even if
it didn't burn or got real cold

- I put my hand on the dry ice.
- Daddy's not here now.

I wanted to take it off quickly
because it got very cold.

I also confess, I was afraid
I might burn my hand.

If I take it and put it up
against a bare chest...

Gary, work with me on this one. Believe
me, I'm gonna take care of you.

- You know that song?
- My judgment is for the...

We'll be back for the
audience reaction

to Judge Wapner's decision
right after these messages.

The head bone connected
from the neck bone

The neck bone connected
from the shoulder bone

The shoulder bone connected
from the back bone

The back bone connected
from the hip bone

The hip bone connected
from the thigh bone

Thigh bone connected
from the knee bone

The knee bone connected
from the leg bone

The leg bone connected
from the ankle bone

The ankle bone connected
from the heel bone

- My credit card's been rejected?
- Yes, sir.

Must be some accounting error.

- How much is this gonna cost?
- $20, sir.

Hear the word of the Lord

Oh, dem bones, dem bones

Thank you.

Dem bones, dem bones

Now hear the word of the Lord

Hear the word of the Lord

Course, I'm never going back.
It's gonna be a long time.

It's definitely going
to be a long journey.

Just a couple of more days, Ray.

Yeah... You know the fella's name?
Then who's playing first?

You mean the fellow playing
first base for St. Louis?

We're gonna start with this again,
Ray? It's just another motel.

You gotta do this every time?

That's the man's name.
That's whose name?

What are you asking me for?
I'm not asking you. I'm telling you.

Who's on first.

I'm asking you who's on first.

Yo, Ray.

Ray, this is not...
It's not a riddle.

Yeah. You know the fellow's name?
Then who's playing first?

You're never gonna figure out who's on
first base, because Who is on first base.

That's a joke, Ray. It's comedy.

Sometimes his wife comes down
and collects it. Whose wife?

- It's comedy, man.
- Every dollar of it.

You got a first baseman
on first? Yeah.

It's a routine between
Abbott and Costello.

When you do it, you're not funny.

You're the comedy team
of Abbott and Abbott.

You understand what I'm saying?

Sometimes his wife comes
down and collects it.

Whose wife? Yeah.

Ray, you are never
going to solve it.

You know why you're never gonna
solve it? 'Cause it's not a riddle, man.

If you understood that, if you
understood that it's funny,

you might get better.

All I'm trying to find out is,
what's the guy's name on first base?

What's the guy's
name on first base?

No. What's the guy's
name on second base.

Have you got a first
baseman on first? Yeah.

Then who's playing first? Yeah.

Who's... You know the
fellow's name? Yeah.

Then who's playing first?

The fella playing for St. Louis?

Who. The guy on first.

The first baseman. Who's on first.

What are you asking me for?

Have you got a first
baseman on first? Yeah.

All right, Ray. Come on.

We're gonna put the bed by
the window the way you like.

We got your apple juice.

We're gonna take the pens and paper out,
we're gonna put 'em on the table...

What's the matter, Ray,
did I forget something?

Cheese balls.

- Yes, I forgot the cheese balls.
- Definitely have cheese balls.

But we got them.

I have to have 12 cheese balls.

I have to get my tartar
control toothpaste.

We got that. I got that for
you a couple of days ago.

Where's my tartar
control toothpaste?

Raymond.

Raymond, remember when that doctor
asked you those questions today?

- The number questions?
- Yeah.

How did you do that?

- I see it.
- Huh?

I see it.

What's that?

- Will you stop that for a second?
- I see it.

Just put that down, will you?

I'm trying to talk to you.

When I say stop it, why
don't you stop it?

Why do you always have
to act like an idiot?

- You think that's funny?
- Yeah.

Funny Rain Man. Funny teeth.

What did you say?

- Funny teeth.
- Rinse.

Why did you say...

Why did you say funny teeth?

You said funny teeth,
funny Rain Man.

Rain Man? I said Rain Man?

Yeah, funny Rain Man.

Was I trying to say Raymond,
and it came out Rain Man?

Yeah, funny Rain Man.

You? You're the Rain Man?

Who took this picture?

D-A-D.

And you lived with us?

10961 Beechcrest Street,
Cincinnati, Ohio.

When... When did you leave?

January 21, 1965.

- You remember that?
- It was Thursday.

Very snowy out.

7.2 inches of snow that day.

That's just after mom
died, New Year's.

Mom died January 5, 1965.

And you remember that day? You
remember that day that you left?

After short and sudden illness.

- You remember that day you left?
- Yeah.

Was I there? Where was I?

You were in the window.

You waved to me.
"Bye-bye, Rain Man."

"Bye-bye, Rain Man."

So you were the one
that sang to me?

Yeah.

What did you sing?

What was that song?

What did you sing?

Well, she was just 17

And you know what I mean

And the way she looked
was way beyond compare

So how could I dance with another

When I saw her standing there?

Did I like it when you sang to me?

Yeah.

Did we sing any other songs?
You like The Beatles?

Yeah.

Scary! Scary bad!

Scary bad!

It's scary!

- Scary bad!
- What's scary bad?

What's scary bad?

Hot water burn baby!

Water!

"Hot water burn baby"?

- What baby? Me? Me?
- Yeah.

Easy. Easy. Ray, Ray.

Hot water burn baby.

I'm not burned. Look at me. Please.

- Hot water burn baby!
- Ray, please. Please!

Please! I'm not burned.

- I'm not burned.
- Tub burn baby.

- I'm not burned, man.
- Tub burn baby.

- I'm not burned.
- Yeah.

I'm not burned. It's okay.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

It's okay.

Gotta go to Wallbrook now.

That's why they put you away.

They thought you'd hurt me.

Never hurt Charlie Babbitt.

What?

Never hurt Charlie Babbitt.

What, Ray?

Never hurt Charlie Babbitt.

What?

Come on, it's 11:00, Ray.

- Lights out.
- Yeah.

Never hurt Charlie Babbitt.

Never, never hurt Charlie Babbitt.

There you go. Right where you
like it, at the end of the bed.

Come on, Ray.

Hi, it's me.

Well, you didn't hang up.
Does that mean we're engaged?

Listen, I...

I just wanna hear
it's not over. I mean...

I'm scared it's over.

Don't ask me tonight, Charlie.

I don't know what
to say. Let it sit.

That's something I'm
not real good at.

There's a lot of things
you're not good at.

I'll call you when
I get back, okay?

Uh-huh.

I'll see you.

Ciao.

What are you looking
at that for, Ray?

I just spent a couple of hundred
dollars on a little TV,

and now you're watching a dryer.

I don't know.

'Cause believe me, Ray, at the shrink
hearing, we're gonna have to prove

you prefer to watch this little TV,

as opposed to the clothes dryer.

- You understand that?
- Yeah.

- You listening to me?
- Yeah.

Turn this off, will you,
when you're not watching it?

Yeah.

If you run down the batteries, then where
are you gonna be at 3:00 when Wapner's on?

Yeah, the red one
always falls the same.

Why aren't you listening to me?

You just don't want to
listen to me, do you?

You want to go back to
Wallbrook, is that it?

I gotta make a phone call.

Yeah, Lenny, it's me, listen...

Charlie, where have you been?

I've been sitting by this
phone for three hours, man.

I had some things to do. I had
to buy some clothes and stuff.

Clothes? Charlie, we are in
serious trouble. Serious trouble!

What are you doing buying clothes?

Just take it easy. Take it easy.

I'm in Tucumcari.
I'll be there in a few...

They repossessed the cars
to pay off the loan.

The cars are gone,
Charlie. Gone.

Bateman wants his down
payment back. They all do.

That's 80 thou, Charlie.

$80,000.

I don't have it.

Look, you gotta pay these
people back, or it's all over,

we're out of business.

What am I gonna tell them?

I don't know.

Son of a bitch!

Son of a bitch!

Beyond the blue horizon

Lies the rising sun

Beyond the blue horizon

Waits a beautiful day

This would be a lot easier, Ray,
if you just let me put the top up.

You wouldn't have to fry.

Put this lotion on you so
you don't burn. All right?

- Oh. Oh.
- Ray.

Don't start with that. You
want me to put the top up?

I definitely like the top down.

Yes, I know that. Now,
I don't want you to burn.

Yeah. Definitely like it
when the top's... Ow. Ooh.

It's all right. Just take
it easy. Take it easy.

- Oh, no.
- It's almost over.

Uh-huh. All right.
How does that feel?

Very slippery.

Maldonado swings and hits
a hot shot through the box

into center field for a base hit.

One run is in.

Here's Brenly going to third.

The throw by Davis...

Not in time!

Brenly in safely at third
base on Maldonado's single.

Looks like he held that ball

out in center field a little bit
too long, don't you think so, Ed?

Take a look at it once again.

Treadwell played it way over
towards the right side.

Shading him to pull.

Okay, here's Davis.

Yeah, he seems to hold it
there just a bit, Tom.

Sort of double-pumped
it, didn't he?

Watch it here on the replay again.

He loses all chance
at a play on Brenly,

even though Brenly doesn't exactly
pick 'em up and lay 'em down.

And the throw into third base
finally is a little bit long...

Will you give me a break with this?

Can't.

Ray, stop it.

But there is something
every woman needs

And a friendly smile
will do it every time

Lonely women make good lovers

J-7.

K-7? What's that?

J-7.

What's J-7?

What's J-7? The song?
The song's J-7?

Yeah.

Lonely women make good lovers

So if you've got a woman...

Look out there, Raymond.

- No, Raymond, out here.
- Yeah.

"Eighteen Wheels
and a Dozen Roses."

What's the number?

E-5.

"Cheating Heart, Hank Williams."

Your Cheating Heart. Course,
that's Hank Williams, Jr.

D-1. D-1.

"Blue Moon of
Kentucky, Bill Monroe."

And the Blue Grass Boys. T-5.

How many toothpicks came
out of that box, Raymond?

246.

- Yeah.
- 246.

- You paying attention?
- Yeah.

- You watching that?
- Yeah.

You seeing that, Ray,
you catching that?

Yeah, falling on the ground.

Okay. Now what...

What do I have left?

Two jacks, one 8, one king, one 6,

two aces, one 10, one 9, one 5.

- One 5.
- Yeah.

You are beautiful, man.

I'm an excellent driver.

You can't drive now, Ray.

Are you listening to me?
This is very important.

When there's lots of 10s left, 10s and
picture cards left, it's good for us.

Now, come on, say it.
"10s are good."

10s are good.

Okay, if you're going to bet one...

One if it's bad, two if it's good.

That's right.
Two if it's good, Ray.

Now, listen, casinos
have house rules.

The first one is, they
don't like to lose.

So you never, never show
that you are counting cards.

That is the cardinal sin, Ray.

Are you listening to me?
That's very, very important.

Yeah. Counting is bad.

Yes, counting is bad.

I like to drive slow
on the driveway.

You get this right, Ray,

you can drive wherever you
want as slow as you like.

I'm an excellent driver.

Miss Sue Morgan, please pick
up the hotel courtesy phone.

Miss Sue Morgan, please pick
up the hotel courtesy phone.

Raymond.

- Rain Man?
- Yeah.

- Let's play some cards.
- Yeah.

You want a hit?

No. You don't want a hit.
You've got 18.

I want a hit.

Sir, you have 18.

You don't want to hit. He
doesn't want to hit. Hit me.

- Definitely want a hit.
- Hitting 18.

He doesn't want to hit.

- Hit me, hit me, hit me.
- No, don't!

You took my queen, Ray.

I've got a 10, I needed that queen.

I can't take your queen!

Sir, please don't touch the cards.

I need my own queen, Ray.

There's lots of them.

- There's lots of them?
- Lots and lots of them.

Hold on here for a second.

I'm gonna double down.

Queen, queen.

Yes!

Yes, sir. You gotta love this town.

I'm going for it, Nick.

It looks like it.

It certainly looks like it.

Wanna bet one chip
or two chips, Ray?

Bet two.

Bet two.

What's your secret, guys?

We cheat.

This is Sam. Tape table 47.

About $85,000.

$85,000? Did you call
the Eye in the Sky?

Sam did.

Sam did? Okay, I'll
take over from here.

All right.

All right!

You're doing well.
I'm happy for you, sir.

What do you see?

Well, he's not catching the hole
card and he's not past posting us.

I don't see him using a computer.

No, he's not, but
something's not right.

You know there's no one in the world
can count into a six-deck shoe.

Hold it. Hold it here.

Watch my chips. I'm
gonna be back in second.

Go right ahead, sir.

Ray, what are you doing?
We're in the middle of a hand.

You don't leave in the middle
of a hand. Ray, Ray, Ray!

We're hot. We are red hot! The Babbitt
brothers, kickin' ass in Vegas!

- Wheel of Fortune.
- We got Cleopatra...

and Caesar over there waiting
for you. Come on, Ray.

"Look at all this
glamorous merchandise."

- One for bad, two for good.
- 20.

20? Yeah.

It's going to hit on 20?

Yeah, 20, definitely 20.

$3,000 On 20.

Definitely 20.

- Definitely 20?
- Yeah.

Uh-oh.

- It's not your game, Ray.
- Yeah.

- I just lost $3,000.
- Yeah.

That's $3,000 I lost.

Come on, Ray, come on, a little...

No? Easy, don't start
banging yourself, all right?

- Maybe we'll play a little bit later.
- Yeah.

- I'm gonna cash in.
- Yeah, cash in.

You make me sad, Ray.

20.

We won $86,000 and some
change, right, Ray?

$86,500.

$80,000.

Refund on the car payments,

and I owe...

What did I say I owe
to get the Rolex back?

$3,500.

Six months to pay.

$3,500. We don't have to pay
for the room, that's comped.

I'm free and clear. I'm gonna
go take a celebration piss.

Don't go anywhere. Until I get
back, the sign says "Don't walk."

- Don't walk.
- Don't walk.

Hey.

You looking for a date?

- Are you?
- I don't know.

- What's your name?
- Raymond.

My name is Iris.

Raymond, you like me?

I don't know.

You don't know?

I think if you gave me
a chance, you would.

Why don't we try to get
to know each other?

Yeah, get to know each other.

He doesn't have any money, honey.

That's all right, sugar,
'cause we are just talking.

Yeah, we're just talking.

Let's go upstairs, Ray.
What are you doing, man?

Getting to know each other.

- Just talking.
- What room? I'll bring him up.

That's all right.

Is that what you want to do?

You want to stay here and get
to know each other, Ray?

Yeah. Get to know
each other. Just talking.

- This will be interesting.
- Yeah.

- I'll be over here just in case.
- Yeah.

He doesn't seem to
like me. Who is he?

He's my brother.
I'm living in his room.

He seems young to be your brother.

He was born August 12, 1962.

It was a Sunday.

What exactly do you guys do here?

We're counting cards.

You're counting cards?

We're counting cards.

- Uh-huh.
- We're counting cards.

What else do you do?

We're counting cards.

I know that you're counting cards.
What else do you do?

Are you taking any
prescription medication?

Whoa. Look, I'm out of here.

Course, what time is the date?

- Later.
- What time is the date?

- It's 10:00!
- Course, I have to be in bed at 11:00.

Lights out at 11:00. 10:00
daylight-saving time.

- 10:00 daylight-saving time.
- 10:00?

You like her, Ray?
You think she's pretty?

Yeah. She's very sparkly.

- Definitely very sparkly.
- Very sparkly.

He did a great job on that suit.

You don't realize
how good you look.

- Do you like it?
- It's not Kmart.

How could you not like that suit?

You look fantastic, Ray.

- How can you not like that suit?
- It's not a Kmart suit.

- I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
- Yeah.

- Kmart sucks. Okay?
- Yeah.

- There you go, Ray.
- Yeah.

It's the high rollers' suite.

This is for you.

Ever seen a room like this before?

What's up there?

What's up there?

You're not even looking, man.

Yeah. Bed.

That's a bed. That's your bed.

I had them put it up there
especially for you,

right by the window, just
the way you like it.

- Bed by the window.
- That's right. Go on up.

- Just the way you like it, isn't it?
- Yeah.

Look at you with all
those lights, Ray.

Mr. Vegas. You are
Mr. Las Vegas now, man.

What do you think?

There's a lot of lights out there.
Very sparkly. Very twinkly.

We made a lot of money today.

We made a lot of money!

Forgetting the $3,000 that we tossed
away at that wheel of fortune.

Yeah, wheel of fortune.

I'm sorry about that.

I'm sorry, you know, I got
a little carried away.

- I got a little hot, okay, Ray?
- Yeah.

I'm saying that I'm sorry, and I just
want you to know that I am sorry.

I'm apologizing.

I got a little carried away.

The money... I got a little greedy.

Want to say something?

I have to be at the bar
at 10:00 with Iris.

I mean, 'cause, you know,
I've got to thank you, man.

You...

You did it. You did it.

I was just there.

You saved my ass.

I was just along for the ride.

Have to be at the bar at 10:00.

Have to go to the date with Iris.

Yeah, Iris. That's her name.

Big date. Going to go dancing.

Yeah, dancing.

Have to go to the date with
Iris at the bar, dancing.

Know how to dance?

I don't know.

You don't know how to dance?
You ought to learn sometime.

Have to learn to dance with a date.

I was just kidding, Ray. You're not
gonna have to dance on this date.

Have to go to the date.
Learn to dance.

Definitely. Now.

Ray, you don't have to dance now,

but, listen, I'll teach you
how to dance sometime.

Definitely have to.

No, you're not gonna
have to dance on this.

Definitely have to learn
to dance now for the date.

Sorry I even brought
this up. All right, Ray.

- You're right. My mistake.
- 10:00.

You got the only famous
dancing hooker in Vegas.

All right. Stand over there.

My lonely days are over

- Come over here.
- Yeah.

- Now, you hear the music?
- Yeah.

Just watch my feet.

Raymond, watch my feet.

- Yeah.
- Just do what I'm doing.

Okay, you see? You feel
the rhythm of the music?

We're just moving
our feet like that.

Okay? Now, you're the guy,
so you're gonna have to lead.

All right, and I'm the
date, so you want to...

The skies above are blue

You want to...

Put your left hand up like this.

Raymond, don't stop moving.

- Raymond, paying attention?
- Yeah.

Don't stop moving. Put
your left hand up like this.

- Yeah.
- Left hand up. That's good.

Don't stop moving.
Just keep moving.

That's good. Just like that.

Now you wanna take this other hand, you
wanna put it around behind my back.

- Want to learn how to dance?
- Yeah.

Okay, 'cause you gotta touch
someone when you dance.

- I'm not going to hurt you, all right?
- Yeah.

Just put it right there.

I take my hand, I put it up here.

Watch my feet, Ray.

Watch my feet. The
rhythm, the rhythm.

All right?

Now, when you dance you can't
watch my feet the whole time,

- so you're gonna have to look up.
- Yeah.

When I tell you to, I want you
to just look up, real slow.

Just keep moving.

- Okay, you ready?
- Yeah.

- All right, start looking up.
- Yeah.

A little more. Keep moving.

- Just a little more.
- Yeah.

A little more, Ray.

All the way up.

You smile

- There you go, Ray.
- Yeah.

You're dancing. This is it.

Yeah, dancing.

You want to close your
hand here. Just...

You wanna pull like that.

You're gonna turn
me like this, okay?

Here we are in heaven

Just turn. That's good.

- This is dancing.
- This is dancing.

Don't know about you, but I'm
starting to feel a little silly.

For you are mine

At last

- That's it.
- Yeah.

All right! All right!

- Beautiful! You are a good dancer!
- Yeah.

- You wanna give me a hug?
- Yeah.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I just wanted to
give you a hug, Ray.

Just felt like giving you a hug.

What are you doing here?

I'm unemployed.

What do you mean?

- You don't know about the business?
- I know about the business.

Come on in. It's okay.

I'm glad to see you.

Ray, look who's here.

It's not right, what
you're doing to Raymond.

He's fine.

I know he's fine. He's in Las
Vegas in a suit, in a big room.

It makes me sad.

Six minutes to my date.

Six minutes to Iris.

He has a date?

Raymond, it'd be nice

if you didn't carry that
television everywhere we go.

What do you gotta bring a
Watchman for on your date?

The man's dancing.

But what does your date
look like, Raymond?

She's very sparkly.

She looks like a holiday.

I don't think I've
heard that one before.

Mr. Babbitt.

Mr. Kelso would like to see you.

- I don't know Mr. Kelso.
- He's director of security.

Would you come with me, please?

Sure. Listen, Susanna, why
don't you stay with Raymond?

Right this way, sir.

10:01. She's not here.

She'll come. She will.

Congratulations, Mr. Babbitt.

Counting into a six-deck
shoe is quite a feat.

I'm afraid I don't understand
what you're talking about.

We make videotapes, Mr. Babbitt,

and we analyze the tapes,

and we even share some of the
information with the other casinos.

These tapes suggest that you
should take your winnings

and leave the state.

Mr. Kelso, someone has
a good day at the tables

and you accuse them of
illegal activities?

Is this how you treat
all your guests?

All you have to do is close
your mouth and go home.

And those are the best odds
you're gonna see for a while.

I'd take 'em.

Did you want to dance
on your date, Ray?

- Yeah.
- There'll be other chances, Ray.

Many pretty girls would
love to dance with you.

Yeah.

- It's gonna be okay.
- Yeah.

Uh-oh.

I like this music, Ray.

Elevator stopped.

It's okay.

You think you could show me the way
you were going to dance with Iris?

- Yeah.
- Yes?

Would you like to dance with me?

Elevator's on hold.

- It's okay. Give me this.
- Yeah.

Show me. Show me how.

Yeah. Charlie Babbitt taught me.

- Charlie Babbitt?
- Yeah.

Dancing in the elevator.

It's nice.

You're very good.

Iris missed a beautiful dance.

Yeah.

- And a kiss.
- Yeah, and a kiss.

Have you ever kissed a girl?

I don't know.

You don't know?

Open your mouth. Open.

Like this.

Like you are tasting
something very good

and very soft.

Like this.

Close your eyes.

- It's okay, Ray.
- Yeah.

How was that?

Wet.

Then we did it right.

Elevator's definitely stuck.

No, it's not stuck.

Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.

- Like us.
- Yeah, like us.

What did I tell you, Ray?

I promised you could
drive, this is it.

At Wallbrook, I drive
slow on the driveway.

Charlie, this is okay?
He can drive?

Course, I'm an excellent driver.

He's very good in the driveway.

Ray, why don't you get
in the front seat?

So I'll wait to hear from you
after Raymond's meeting?

- Yeah.
- Don't worry.

- It's gonna be fine, okay?
- Oh, yeah.

- I'm nervous.
- I know.

Listen, I'm glad... Happy. I'm
happy that you came to Vegas.

I know.

Ciao.

Ray, thank you for the
date in the elevator.

- It was really nice.
- Yeah.

- Ciao.
- Yeah.

Thank you for the what? What?

Nothing. Something between us.

- Between us?
- Mmm-hmm, us.

Us, Ray?

Here we go, Ray.

This is your bedroom up here.

Course, there's no bed there.
Definitely no bed there.

Oh, no, this is a magic bed, Ray.

You just watch and see.

We got the table over here.
We got the television, Ray.

Went to the video store, I got a
little surprise for you, Ray.

I picked up a video for you.

Don't start with that, Ray.

This is...

It's not just another place, Ray.

This is... This is my place.

That's the man's name.
That's whose name? Yes.

Who? The first baseman.
Who's on first.

You got a first baseman?

Who's playing first? Absolutely.

When you pay off the first
baseman, who gets the money?

Every dollar of it. Why not?

- The man's entitled to it.
- Who is?

Yes.

- So who gets it?
- Why shouldn't he?

Sometimes his wife comes
down and collects it.

- Whose wife?
- Yes.

- After all, the man earns it.
- Who does?

Absolutely.

All I'm tryin' to find out is what's
the guy's name on first base?

No. What is on second base.

This is funny, Ray. Don't
you think this is funny?

Yeah, this is funny.

I'm not changing nobody.

Where'd you see this first?

Dad gave me a book
of baseball trivia.

- Dad, huh?
- I'm not asking you who's on second.

- Guess it didn't read as funny.
- Definitely not.

We're not talking about him.

Hello, this is Dr. Bruner.

I'd like you to call me...

Yeah, what is it?

Oh, I thought I got the machine.

No.

I just got into town,
and, as you know,

the psychological interview
is tomorrow, Charlie.

Yes, sir, I know that.

I thought we should get
together and talk.

I really think it might be in
your best interest to meet me.

All right.

When?

I'm at the Bonaventure.

How about tonight at 8:30?

Tomorrow morning you'll meet Dr.
Marston who's in charge of Raymond's

- psychiatric evaluation.
- Yeah, I know.

I gave him boxes of files
on Raymond. Boxes.

Well, good luck.

Look, this isn't a close
call, son. It's a formality.

Your brother's a very
disabled individual.

You trying to tell me that
Marston's gonna rule against me?

Is that why you called me up here?

No, I'm telling you it's always
been a lost cause, Charlie.

Then what is this about?
Why'd you call me?

Let me tell you something. Your father put
me in charge of all the money, all right?

Yeah.

And it doesn't matter whether or
not you win custody of Raymond.

I won't have to pay you a dime.

It's at my discretion,
not the court's.

What, so you can't lose?

I can lose.

I can lose Raymond.

I happen to care about your brother's
life and the treatment he receives.

I made a commitment to your
father some 20 years ago,

and I'm not willing
to gamble with that.

What is this?

It's a very big check.

$250,000.

And no strings attached.

You just walk away, Charlie.

You know, this isn't
about you and me.

It's not about winning or losing.

I asked you a week ago, why didn't
anyone ever tell me I had a brother?

You didn't have an answer.

I don't know.

It's funny, I just realized

I'm not pissed off anymore my
father cut me out of his will.

You were his friend, you
probably knew he tried

to contact me a few
times over the years.

I never called him back.
I was a prick.

If he was my son,
didn't return my calls,

I'd have written him out. Fuck him.

But it's not about
the money anymore.

It's about... I just
don't understand

why didn't he tell
me I had a brother?

Why didn't you tell
me I had a brother?

Why didn't anyone ever tell
me that I had a brother?

I mean...

Because it'd have been nice to know him
for more than just the past six days.

Ray! Ray! Ray! Ray!

Ray! Ray! Ray! Ray!

Ray!

Come on.

It stopped. It's all right.

V-E-R-N.

Vern. Vern.

Main man. My main man, Vern.

V-E-R-N.

Uh-oh.

My main man, Vern.

V-E-R-N. Vern. My main man.

All right, Ray, they got
raspberry, strawberry, blueberry,

Pink Caddie, whole-wheat,
Peachy Keen, beer nut,

Rocky Road, buckwheat,
Belly Buster, blueberry.

What kind of pancakes
you want, Ray?

- Pancakes.
- Yeah. What kind?

- Pancakes.
- Of course.

Course, maple syrup is supposed to
be on the table before the pancakes.

- Ray.
- Yeah.

Ta-da.

Charlie Babbitt made a joke.

- I made a joke, Ray.
- Yeah.

Step back a little bit, Ray.

Hello?

Why don't you go sit
down over there?

Hello?

This is not a legal
proceeding, Mr. Babbitt,

so there's no lawyers,
no judge present,

just the people who
care about Raymond.

Raymond, why don't you
have a seat over there?

Mr. Babbitt, why don't you go
to that side of the table?

Raymond, right here. Have a seat.

Raymond, right here.
Take this seat, okay?

Ray, you can put your
knapsack on the floor.

I think this is a good opportunity
to be honest with one another.

- And the TV. Ray, the TV.
- Yeah.

- On the floor. I'm sorry.
- Yeah.

I don't know any easy way
to say this, Mr. Babbitt...

To say what?

- Have I lost already?
- No, you haven't lost.

I'm not the judge and jury. I'm just a
doctor making a recommendation to a court.

Now, I must tell you
that Dr. Bruner

is a very respected professional.

Raymond's case has been meticulously
documented over the years,

and, of course, Wallbrook is one of the
finest institutions we have in this country.

Boy, you guys have already made
up your mind. I'll see you in court.

Hold on, son. No one's your enemy.

My brother came further
with me in a week

than he did with you in 20 years.
And that's the truth.

- I don't think...
- You don't know anything about us!

I don't think it's necessary
to challenge Dr. Bruner.

- I'm sorry.
- All right.

Exactly what happened
this past week, Raymond?

- Well, we got...
- I was asking Raymond.

Raymond, what happened
this past week?

- What did you do, Raymond?
- Counted cards.

- Counted cards?
- Counted cards in Las Vegas.

Your brother took you to Las Vegas?

$3,000 on the wheel of fortune.

He gave you $3,000 to gamble with?

Lost $3,000 on pitiful 20.

- What else did you do?
- Bet on number 20.

What else did you do?

Danced with Charlie Babbitt.

- Danced with your brother?
- He wanted to learn how to dance

- so I taught him.
- Danced in the elevator with Susanna.

Kissed Susanna.

- Kissed Susanna?
- Yeah. In the elevator.

Did you enjoy kissing a woman?

I don't know.

How did it feel?

It felt wet.

- Wet?
- Yeah.

- Quite a trip, huh?
- Yeah.

You enjoy being on the road?

I'm an excellent driver.

- You drove?
- Yeah.

Your brother let you drive on
the highway? The interstate?

Yeah, slow on the driveway.

He didn't drive on the highway.

Did he have any emotional
outbursts this past week?

What do you mean?

Well, things they tend to do.

Inflicting bodily
harm on themselves...

- Okay, yeah, a couple of times.
- A couple of times?

Okay, he had what you call
an outburst at the airport

because he didn't want to
fly, so we didn't fly.

When was the last
outburst that he had?

- This morning.
- This morning?

This is bullshit. Because I could tell
you anything, I could tell you nothing,

and you'd never know
the difference.

This morning the smoke
alarm went off.

He got a little
nervous, but he's fine.

Don't feel as though
I'm placing any blame.

We went out for pancakes.

- Look at him, he's fine.
- You don't have to be defensive.

- I'm not challenging you.
- I'm just being honest with you.

- You're missing the point.
- You're missing the point.

I'm being truthful about this.

The point I was trying to make
is I'm not placing any blame...

I had a father I hardly knew,
a mother I didn't know at all,

I find out a few days ago
that I have a brother,

and I wanna be with him and
I'm supposed to give him up?

No one is saying anything...

I didn't hurt him,
he's not hurting me,

we're not hurting you. Now, why are
you interfering? This is my family.

- I'm not interfering.
- This is my family.

- Do you understand that?
- I understand that.

Yes, you do have a brother,

but the point is he's not capable
of having a relationship with you.

That's your opinion. Did you spend 24
hours a day, seven days a week with him?

Have you ever done that?

Look, you cannot take
on the responsibility

of your brother without
professional guidance.

- That's your opinion, Dr. Bruner.
- Yes, it's my opinion.

There's a couple of things I'd
like to go over in this file.

Dr. Bruner states a week ago you
stole Raymond out of the institution

and you're willing to trade him for
$1.5 million. Is that correct?

My father died. I was upset.

- Okay? That was wrong.
- Okay.

So last week you were upset,

and then this week you suddenly
found some devotion to your brother

and you want to take care of
him the rest of your life?

Yes.

So in the beginning, it
was like a kidnapping.

Kidnapping... That's very strong.

I didn't kidnap my brother.

But in the course of the week, you came
to have an understanding with him.

Yes.

Look, that...

- Yes?
- When we...

I understand that this
sounds irrational to you.

Yes, when it started out, it had...

Don't feel compelled to
be defensive about that.

- Can I talk?
- Yes, you can.

- I'd like to talk. Thank you.
- Yes, you can.

There's no accusations.

Go ahead.

There's no accusations?

See, you have to understand that
when we started out together,

that he was only my brother

in name.

And as...

Then this morning we had pancakes.

Maple syrup.

Maple syrup on the...

- Maple syrup on the table.
- And pancakes.

And Charlie Babbitt made a joke.

You see, we...

I made a connection.

I think that's very admirable
that you made a connection,

but I think the purpose of
this meeting is to determine

what is best for Raymond.

Whether or not he's capable of
functioning in the community,

and what, in fact, he wants,

if that's possible to determine.

I'm all for that.

Raymond's unable to make
those kind of decisions.

You're wrong.

Charlie, you know he
can't decide for himself.

He's capable of a lot
more than you know.

Why don't we ask Raymond?
Maybe we can find a few answers.

Raymond, can I ask
you a few questions?

- Ray, the doctor's talking to you.
- Yeah?

- Raymond, can I ask you a few questions?
- Yeah.

Do you want to stay with
your brother Charlie?

Raymond, would you like to stay with
your brother Charlie in Los Angeles?

Ray, the doctor's
asking you a question,

- so you listen, okay, Ray?
- Yeah.

Raymond, do you want to stay
with your brother Charlie?

Raymond, do you want to stay...

- with your brother Charlie?
- Yeah.

- You do?
- Yeah.

- You want to stay with your brother?
- Yeah.

Stay with my brother,
Charlie Babbitt.

- That's what you want?
- Yeah.

- You want to stay with your brother?
- Yeah.

- Can I ask you something else, Raymond?
- Yeah.

- Do you want to go back to Wallbrook?
- Yeah.

Raymond, can you make a distinction
between your brother and Wallbrook?

Yeah.

Do you want to stay with
your brother Charlie

- here in Los Angeles?
- Yeah.

- Or do you wanna go back to Wallbrook?
- Yeah.

Two separate things, stay with your
brother or go back to Wallbrook?

It's not one thing, Raymond.

This is your brother.
You make a choice.

Back to Wallbrook,
stay with Charlie Babbitt.

Okay.

Back to Wallbrook, stay with
my brother Charlie Babbitt.

No, no, no. Two separate things.
Can you make that choice?

- One or the other.
- Yeah, go back to Wallbrook...

All right.

- Stay back at Wallbrook.
- Hold on. Just hold on!

- Stay back at Wallbrook.
- All right.

You made your point. Okay?
You don't have to humiliate him.

Ray, it's okay. It's over.

Yeah.

Stay back at Wallbrook
with Charlie Babbitt.

Stay back at Wallbrook.

It's over.

- Raymond?
- Yeah.

Dr. Bruner, can I talk
to you for a minute?

- Of course.
- Excuse me.

- You okay, Ray?
- Yeah.

You don't want any more
questions, do you?

- No.
- No.

I don't know.

You don't want any more questions,
do you? No more questions.

No.

Don't worry. There's not gonna
be any more questions, okay?

- Yeah.
- No more questions.

- I'll make sure of that, okay, Ray?
- Yeah. Main man.

- What?
- My main man.

Listen...

Ray, I don't know if I'm gonna have
a chance to talk to you again.

Because you see, these...

Dr. Bruner really likes you a lot,

and he's probably gonna want
to take you back with him.

- You know?
- Yeah.

But I just want you to know

that what I said about being
on the road with you, I meant.

Connecting.

I like having you for my brother.

I'm an excellent driver.

Yes, you are.

I like having you
for my big brother.

Yeah.

C-H-A-R-L-I-E.

C-H-A-R-L-I-E.

Main man.

May I have your attention, please?

Amtrak train number 36,
the Desert Wind, eastbound,

now boarding, track number three.

Fullerton, San Bernardino. ..

Ray.

...Las Vegas, Salt Lake City,
Denver, Omaha, Chicago.

- Hello, Charlie. Hello, Raymond.
- Dr. Bruner.

Wouldn't you feel a little more relaxed
in your favorite Kmart clothes?

- Tell him, Ray.
- Kmart sucks.

I see.

I have the tickets, and I'll be on
this car right here to the right.

Why don't you take a
couple of minutes?

See you, Charlie.

- You made a joke, Ray.
- Yeah.

I guess I better give this to you.

You're gonna have to
carry this now, it's...

It's got your cheese
balls, your apple juice,

notebooks, pens and...

"Who's on First"
video that you like.

"Who's on First." Very funny.

I told you it's funny.

Board!

Better get going.

Yeah. Very shiny train.

Yeah, it sure is.

Listen, Ray, Dr. Bruner
only has custody of you.

That doesn't mean I can't visit.

Now, I'm coming to see
you in two weeks.

How many days is that before
we're gonna be together?

14 days from today.
Today's Wednesday.

Hours?

336 hours.

Mystifying.

Course, that's 20,160 minutes.

1,209,600..

600 seconds.

Ray?

Ray?

Ray?

Yeah.

I'll see you soon.

Yeah. One for bad, two for good.

- Bet two for good.
- Yeah.

Course, three minutes to Wapner.

You'll make it.

Yeah.