Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:04,570
[GUH GUH GUH]
2
00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,073
[GUH GUH GUH]
3
00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:09,575
[GUH GUH GUH]
4
00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:11,077
[GUH GUH GUH]
5
00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:14,080
Where the hell is that annoying
sound coming from?
6
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:15,081
That.
7
00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:16,082
I don't...
8
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:17,583
Well, what is that?
9
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,586
We don't know.
It was just sitting here.
10
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,087
Who does it belong to?
11
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:24,090
I don't know.
It's some sort of a toy.
12
00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:26,592
Well, look, I really don't
want it in the office, okay?
13
00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,595
Especially if it's a toy.
14
00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,096
Somebody get that thing
out of here.
15
00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:31,597
Okay.
Okay, Dave.
16
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,102
Thanks for not
ratting me out, kids.
17
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:38,104
What is that thing?
18
00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:40,606
Well, it's a Goofy Ball, Joe.
It's a toy for kids.
19
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:43,610
I bought a company that makes
all sorts of crap like this.
20
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:44,611
It's really, really cute.
21
00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:46,613
Can I hold it?
Yeah.
22
00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:48,615
Well, hello,
Goofy Ball.
23
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,116
What's it saying?
24
00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:51,617
Guh, guh, guh.
25
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,621
So, can you make it
say other things?
26
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:57,624
It's a Goofy Ball,
Matthew, not a supercomputer.
27
00:00:57,624 --> 00:01:01,127
Makes me giggle.
28
00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:03,129
Anyway, listen up,
this is how it goes.
29
00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:05,631
It makes this noise
for a while, you know.
30
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,133
Kids throw it around.
31
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:09,635
Then after a certain amount
of time, a voice alarm goes off.
32
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:10,637
And who's ever
holding it loses.
33
00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:11,638
Oh.
34
00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:14,641
So it's like
a hot potato.
35
00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:16,142
Exactly, but much more
expensive.
36
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,149
Matthew.
37
00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:24,650
Yes, sir.
38
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,653
Do I look like
the kind of guy
39
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:28,154
who would enjoy a good game
of Goofy Ball?
40
00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:30,156
No.
No.
41
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:32,658
Anyway, I wanted you guys to
check it out for me,
42
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,661
see how long it takes you
to get bored with it.
43
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:35,662
Oh.
44
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:39,165
[GOOFY BALL ALARM SOUNDS]
Aah!
45
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:48,174
Matthew, what the hell
are you doing?
46
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:50,676
I mean, I thought I told you
to get rid of that thing.
47
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:51,678
Yeah. Don't worry
about it, though.
48
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,680
I'm gonna have
a talk with her.
49
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:56,683
Hi.
50
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:58,685
I'm sorry I was late
this morning.
51
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,187
That's okay.
52
00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:02,188
Okay.
53
00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:04,190
Hey, that looks
good on you.
54
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:05,191
What?
55
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:06,192
My shirt.
56
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:08,194
This is one of yours?
57
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:09,695
Yeah. It's okay, I don't mind.
58
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:12,198
In fact, I kind of
like seeing you in that.
59
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:15,201
Do you think
anybody else noticed?
60
00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:16,702
You know, I don't think people
are scrutinizing us
61
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:18,204
quite as much
as you seem to think.
62
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:19,705
You know, that's what
the Rosenbergs said.
63
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:23,209
Now, you have other shirts
in here, right?
64
00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:25,211
Yeah. Uh...
65
00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:26,712
Here you go.
66
00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:32,218
Dave, this is identical
to the one I have on.
67
00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:33,719
No, it isn't.
68
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:37,223
This one is azure,
and that one is lapis.
69
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:40,226
Could I have
another shirt, please?
70
00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:42,728
All right, uh...
let's see, I've got...
71
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:43,730
indigo...
72
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:47,233
I've got sapphire...
73
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:50,236
I got sky, and...
74
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:51,737
standard blue.
75
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:55,741
Ever see Rainman, Dave?
76
00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,745
I'm sorry.
I have to go change.
77
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,246
Okay, but I think
you're being silly.
78
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:00,746
I'm sorry.
79
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,752
Beth, Matthew.
80
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:09,255
[♪]
81
00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:41,287
Dave.
82
00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:42,288
Yes, Catherine.
83
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:43,789
Just two quick things.
84
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:46,292
Did you get
my friend's resume?
85
00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:48,794
Yes I did, but I haven't had
a chance to look at it.
86
00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:50,296
I'm sorry. What was
the other thing?
87
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,798
Bill thinks someone's
trying to kill him.
88
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,302
Okay, send him in.
89
00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:59,305
Bill, Dave would like
to see you.
90
00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:05,311
So, Bill, I hear someone's
trying to kill you.
91
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:07,313
I don't expect you
to believe me...
92
00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:08,814
until it's too late.
93
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,818
Where did Bill go?
I thought he was just--
94
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,821
and who are you?
95
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,823
Very funny, Dave.
96
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,324
Okay, who's trying
to kill you, Bill?
97
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:20,326
There's a guy
in front of the building
98
00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:21,827
every morning
when I come in
99
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:22,829
and every night
when I'm leaving.
100
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,831
Hold it. Is this the guy
with the eye patch?
101
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:28,334
He wears it on a different
eye every day. That's the guy.
102
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:31,837
He's not down there right now.
Uh-huh.
103
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,840
When he knows
I'm in the office,
104
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,842
he goes into the coffee shop
across the street
105
00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:37,343
and waits for me
to get off.
106
00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:38,844
He probably just wants
an autograph.
107
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:41,848
Right, an autograph...
in blood.
108
00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,850
We're on in 30 seconds.
109
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:46,853
Bill, come on, you can use me
as a human shield.
110
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:49,355
Wish I could laugh
at that, Catherine.
111
00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:50,356
I really do.
112
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,861
Dave! Come here, man, I gotta
show you something.
113
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,362
Joe, not right now,
I'm kind of busy.
114
00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:57,863
No, no, you gotta
come right now.
115
00:04:57,864 --> 00:04:58,865
No, I'm really--
116
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:01,868
Trust me.
It'll be worth it.
117
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,369
Ah!
118
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:04,370
GOOFY BALL:
Goofy ball!
119
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:05,871
[SHRIEKS]
120
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:08,374
Beth, I'm getting pretty sick
of hearing you shriek--
121
00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:10,376
Sorry, Dave.
That was me. Sorry.
122
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:15,381
Joe, if you're
taking me downstairs
123
00:05:15,381 --> 00:05:18,384
to show me the world's
greatest parking spot again...
124
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,386
No, no, no, you don't have
to go anywhere for this.
125
00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:22,388
That's the beauty of it.
126
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,394
Are you guys going up?
127
00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:33,399
My name is Joe.
128
00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:38,404
Sorry, ladies. No, we were just
pushing the button.
129
00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:42,408
Didn't realize it was actually
hooked up to anything.
130
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,910
Look at that.
131
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,913
What did we just see?
132
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:48,414
Models, man.
Fashion models.
133
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:49,415
They're doing
a catalog shoot
134
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:51,417
in the photography
studio upstairs.
135
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:52,918
Come on, let's go up there.
136
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:53,920
No. No.
137
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,922
Come on, man,
what are you scared of?
138
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:56,923
I'm not scared.
139
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:58,925
Hey,
it's you guys again.
140
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,928
Are there any good places
to eat around here?
141
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,930
We usually
just order in.
142
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,932
Uh...
143
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:10,436
"We usually
just order in."
144
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:12,438
Like "My name is Joe"
is any better.
145
00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:14,940
Dave, buddy, I'm doing this
for you, man.
146
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,943
Don't do this.
Come on, how long's it been?
147
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,445
Dude, you've been
in New York for six months.
148
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:21,947
I haven't seen you
go out on date one.
149
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:22,949
I've been on dates.
Right.
150
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:25,451
With who? Quick.
Too late. Nice bluff.
151
00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:27,453
Case closed. Upstairs.
Don't argue. Come on.
152
00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:29,955
Look, Joe, I've got the whole
dating thing well in hand.
153
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,457
But thank you anyway,
all right?
154
00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:32,458
We decided
to eat in too.
155
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:35,461
Well, I highly
recommend it.
156
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:40,967
What's your name?
157
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:41,968
Dave, actually.
158
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:42,969
ALL:
Bye, Dave.
159
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:43,970
Bye.
160
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:44,971
BILL:
The Dow dipped slightly,
161
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:47,473
finishing 20 points below
yesterday's high
162
00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:51,477
with winners outnumbering
losers 2 to 1.
163
00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:52,478
In Chicago,
164
00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:53,979
commodity prices soared...
165
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:02,488
"Dave, actually."
166
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:08,494
Please... don't tell me
you're jealous.
167
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:11,997
Oh, I am hardly
a jealous person, Dave.
168
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:14,000
Uh, did you get the chance
to see the changes
169
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,502
to the national update
schedule?
170
00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:18,504
Which one
did you like the best--
171
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:20,506
the tall one
with the big breasts
172
00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:23,509
or the slightly taller one
with the even bigger breasts?
173
00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:24,510
Okay, look...
174
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:27,513
this might be hard
for you to believe,
175
00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:30,015
but this isn't a pleasant
situation for me.
176
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:34,020
It's Joe's goal to,
as he puts it, "Get me some."
177
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:38,024
Why don't you just tell Joe
that you don't need...
178
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,025
Some?
179
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,527
Well, that would be
a whole lot easier
180
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:44,530
if I could just tell him
I had a girlfriend.
181
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,031
We've been through this.
182
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:49,035
I know, but there's...
183
00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:50,536
it's getting ridiculous.
184
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,538
We spend
half of our time
185
00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:54,540
sneaking around here
like, uh...
186
00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:56,041
Like the Rosenbergs.
187
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,044
What's your obsession
with the Rosenbergs?
188
00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,546
I don't know.
I was a poli-sci major.
189
00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:04,550
My point is that this isn't
the sort of behavior
190
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:07,052
one normally associates
with a professional atmosphere
191
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:08,554
of a news station.
192
00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,556
Get it off my head!
193
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,558
Look, you get the gist
of what I'm saying.
194
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:15,060
Dave, what do you think
people would say
195
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,563
if they found out
I was sleeping with you?
196
00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:18,564
Way to go, Dave?
197
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,566
No, they would not.
They would say,
198
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:21,567
"Ooh, sleeping
with the boss.
199
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,569
Very ambitious.
Nice career move."
200
00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:25,070
They'd be wrong.
201
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:27,073
I know that,
and you know that,
202
00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:29,575
but look what people think
about Yoko Ono.
203
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:33,579
A lot of people happen to think
her work on Double Fantasy
204
00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:36,081
wasn't...
completely disruptive.
205
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:42,588
Lisa!
206
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:44,089
Go. Go, go, go.
207
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,092
Bill, Goofy Ball.
208
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,094
Joe.
209
00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:51,096
Check this out.
210
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:58,104
Whoa! You're Bill McNeal,
aren't you?
211
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:01,607
Yes, I am. Thanks
for listening. Bye, now.
212
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:04,109
I understand
you're a man
213
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:06,612
who can procure
certain materials.
214
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:08,614
Need a gun?
215
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:10,115
Of course not.
216
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,617
Why? Can you
get me one?
217
00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:14,119
Of course not.
Why? You want one?
218
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,621
Bill.
219
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:18,624
Matthew, I'm in the middle of an
important conversation.
220
00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:20,626
I just want
the Goofy Ball back.
221
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:21,627
The what?
222
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:23,629
That thing.
223
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:25,631
Goofy Ball!
224
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:27,132
[GOOFY BALL ALARM SOUNDS]
225
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:30,136
Oh, man,
You're good.
226
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:31,637
Actually, I was thinking
more along the lines
227
00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:34,139
of an electric stun gun.
228
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,641
Legally speaking,
those things--
229
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:38,644
Hey, hey, I don't need
to know about it.
230
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,145
Ignorance of the law--
231
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,648
Blah blah blah.
How much will it cost me?
232
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:44,650
3 big boys.
233
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:48,654
Okay, assuming
a big boy is $100,
234
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:50,656
I'd like to proceed
with this transaction.
235
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:53,659
Goofy Ball!
236
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,661
[GOOFY BALL ALARM SOUNDS]
237
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:57,162
Man, he is good.
238
00:09:58,664 --> 00:09:59,665
Go on.
239
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:03,669
Excuse me.
Is that guy Dave around?
240
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:06,171
Dave? Um...
241
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:10,176
Uh, no, you know,
Dave is not here right now,
242
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,677
but if you'd like,
243
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:16,181
you could, um,
just, um, leave.
244
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:17,683
Wait. There he is.
245
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:20,185
Hi, Dave!
Hi, Dave!
246
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:21,187
Hi.
247
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:24,190
I was just, uh...
I was just, uh...
248
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:24,690
Urinating?
249
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,194
Washing my hands,
actually.
250
00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:30,196
[GIGGLING]
251
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:33,198
Well, thank you.
252
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:38,704
Oh, thanks, Joe.
253
00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:41,206
No, problem. I think
he really likes you.
254
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,708
You really think so?
255
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:45,210
Yeah, maybe we can go on
a double date, you know?
256
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:48,214
You and Dave and me
and your friend Emily.
257
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,716
I'm starting to feel
a connection with her.
258
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:51,717
Emily's married.
259
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:54,219
What about
the other one?
260
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,221
No?
261
00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,725
Well done, chief.
262
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:01,226
Well done what, Joe?
263
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,229
That girl Sheila, man.
She loves you.
264
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:06,232
She wants to go out
with you tonight, huh.
265
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:08,234
Who's your buddy?
Who's your pal?
266
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:09,735
I guess you are, Joe,
267
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:12,237
but I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to say no.
268
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:13,739
Come on, man,
she's really into you.
269
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:16,742
She says she thinks
you're sexy.
270
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:17,743
That's obviously not true,
271
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:19,244
so she must really
like you.
272
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:22,748
Thanks, Joe, but still I don't
think it's a very good idea.
273
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:24,249
What's the deal,
man? Fear?
274
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,251
No.
275
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,252
Impotence?
276
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:27,253
No.
277
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:28,254
Gay?
278
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:29,255
No.
279
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:31,257
You do realize
by "gay"
280
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:34,760
I mean a man who has sex
with other men.
281
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,261
Give it a chance, Dave.
282
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,764
It's not like you're
going to do any better.
283
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:41,266
Okay, if you guys are done
with your "matchmaking,"
284
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,268
I've got
three stories
285
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:44,270
that I need to be
approved by you, Dave.
286
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,272
I've got three things to--
I'll get you!
287
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:49,775
Just give me
one good reason
288
00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:51,276
why you won't just
go to dinner.
289
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:52,778
You're a dead man!
290
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:56,281
What if I was to say that
I'm already seeing someone,
291
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,284
and I just don't want
to talk about it?
292
00:11:58,284 --> 00:11:59,785
Are you?
No.
293
00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:01,286
Of course not.
294
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,289
You're going out
with her. Who's with me?
295
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:06,292
Why not?
Guys?
296
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:07,793
Yeah.
Go for it.
297
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:08,794
Lisa.
298
00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:13,298
Oh, yeah. Sure,
Dave, go get them.
299
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:15,301
Fine, maybe I'll
give her a call sometime.
300
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:18,804
I'll take care of it.
8:00? Uptown? Excellent.
301
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:20,305
[JOE DIALING]
302
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,308
Hello. Is Sheila there?
Hey, it's Joe from downstairs.
303
00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:33,318
Here you go, dude.
304
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:35,821
Stun gun 2000.
305
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:39,825
I thought you were
going to buy me a stun gun.
306
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:42,828
Naw, I made it myself,
I saved you a few bucks.
307
00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:44,329
Looks like
a garage door opener.
308
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,832
That's what it used to be,
an old garage door opener,
309
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:49,835
some diodes and resistors
from a busted mixing board,
310
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:52,337
one reconditioned
doorbell button,
311
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,340
and one big-ass battery.
312
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:56,842
Are there instructions?
313
00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:58,343
Yeah, don't push that button
314
00:12:58,344 --> 00:12:59,845
unless you want
to incapacitate someone
315
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:01,847
for a good half-hour.
316
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:03,348
Incapacitate?
317
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:06,352
It sends, 3-400 volts
through their system
318
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:07,853
at 4 amps.
319
00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:09,354
Instant temporary
paralysis.
320
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:12,858
I call it
"the stalker shocker."
321
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:15,861
Yes. I can see you've
written it here in Magic Marker.
322
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:18,363
So how do I know it works?
323
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:19,865
You can test it.
324
00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:21,867
Good idea.
Matthew!
325
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:25,370
No, no, no, I'm kidding.
Trust me, it works.
326
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:27,373
Joe, this doesn't look
like a stun gun.
327
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:30,876
Yeah, well, this doesn't look
like a megaphone either,
328
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,377
but check this out.
329
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:33,879
[AMPLIFIED]
Red Sox suck.
330
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:36,882
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
331
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:43,388
Either of you ladies
ever seen a stun gun before?
332
00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:45,891
That's very
impressive, Bill.
333
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,392
No, I'm actually asking.
334
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:48,894
Do they usually
look like this?
335
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,897
I don't think that's something
you want to be fiddling with.
336
00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:53,398
I'm not fiddling
with it.
337
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:04,410
Hi.
338
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,911
Hi.
339
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:08,914
I thought you might
want to check this update
340
00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:11,917
on that bridge
repair story.
341
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,919
Hope you're happy
with this little charade.
342
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:17,923
Thanks to you, I now have
a dinner date
343
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,424
with Miss Australia 1993.
344
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:22,928
[MOCK CRYING]
Whoo, whoo, whoo.
345
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:24,429
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
346
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,932
I didn't think
it would go that far.
347
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:29,434
I didn't mean to put you in
an uncomfortable position.
348
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:31,937
Anything for you,
honey.
349
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:34,439
What excuse
are you going to give her?
350
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,442
What?
351
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:43,449
Well, when you,
um... cancel.
352
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:44,950
I'm not going to.
353
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:48,454
That would be rude
and insensitive.
354
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:50,956
What?
355
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:53,458
Houston,
we have a problem.
356
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,462
You know what?
Okay, I see.
357
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,465
You want to tell
everyone about us?
358
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:01,467
Let's get it over with.
359
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:02,468
No.
360
00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:04,970
I mean, I want to,
obviously, yes,
361
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:07,472
but not because
you're jealous of me
362
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:09,475
and some tall,
leggy blond.
363
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:10,976
Dye job.
Check the roots.
364
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:11,977
I am not jealous.
Oh?
365
00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:13,478
No, I am not.
366
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:15,981
You, however, are trying
to make me jealous.
367
00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:18,483
I'm not in the mood
for silly games.
368
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,985
Fine. Great. Okay,
see you later.
369
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:23,488
I'm sorry, Dave.
Did you two want to be alone?
370
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:35,000
For the last time,
stop fiddling with that.
371
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,002
You're going to hurt
yourself.
372
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:40,005
I think Joe
ripped me off.
373
00:15:40,005 --> 00:15:43,008
Should I inform
your stalker
374
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:47,512
that you're now armed with
a $300 garage door opener?
375
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:50,015
Catherine, do not speak
to that man.
376
00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:51,516
Please, for my sake.
Do you understand?
377
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:55,521
Whatever, Bill.
Good night.
378
00:15:57,022 --> 00:16:00,025
Seems like
it should be heavier.
379
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:06,532
[CLICK]
380
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:20,045
BILL:
Aah!
381
00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:21,546
What was that?
382
00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:23,549
It sounded like somebody
screaming.
383
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:26,051
That Goofy Ball's
completely disruptive.
384
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:31,056
Are you actually going
to go out on this stupid date?
385
00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:33,558
I really don't have much
of a choice at this point, do I?
386
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:36,562
Dave, I want to tell people
about us, I really do.
387
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:37,563
Okay. When?
388
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,064
When the time's right.
389
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:41,066
Just in case
my date is curious,
390
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:43,068
how will we know
when the time's right?
391
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:44,069
Because we'll know.
392
00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:45,070
How?
393
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:46,571
Because...
394
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:48,073
it will feel right.
395
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:51,576
I'm sure that's what
Julius Rosenberg thought.
396
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,078
What is that
supposed to mean?
397
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:57,582
I have no idea, but I wasn't
the poli-sci major.
398
00:16:57,583 --> 00:17:00,085
Hi, kids.
How goes it?
399
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:01,086
Good, sir.
400
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:02,087
Glad to hear it.
401
00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:04,589
What's new
in the world o' news?
402
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:07,092
Not much, sir. Kind of
a slow news day today.
403
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:11,096
As a matter of fact,
I'm just heading out.
404
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:14,599
Dave and I
are having an affair.
405
00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:21,607
I thought we said we were going
to wait till the time was right.
406
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,609
I guess
it just became right.
407
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,111
Was that really
your decision to make?
408
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:27,612
You make
the next decision.
409
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,114
Yo, yo.
410
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:32,117
Let's step in the old
way-back machine,
411
00:17:32,117 --> 00:17:35,120
travel back in time
about 30 seconds.
412
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:38,123
Hi, kids.
How goes it?
413
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:40,626
Good.
414
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,628
So, you two
having an affair?
415
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:46,131
Apparently so,
sir.
416
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:49,634
I don't quite know
what to say.
417
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:50,636
Well, we--
418
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:52,638
Hang on. It's coming.
419
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:54,640
I think
that's just great.
420
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,141
Wait a minute.
421
00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:59,144
Am I the last one
to know about this?
422
00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:02,647
We haven't told anyone
else yet, but we will.
423
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,149
Before you do that,
424
00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:08,153
tell me, which one of you
am I going to have to fire?
425
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:10,656
Pardon?
426
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:11,657
Fire, dismiss.
427
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:13,659
You're sleeping
with the boss now.
428
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:16,662
What do you think the staff
will feel about that?
429
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,664
You know what people think
about Yoko Ono.
430
00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:21,166
Yes, I do, sir.
431
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,667
What about you, Dave?
432
00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:24,169
You know what people think
about Paul McCartney.
433
00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:25,670
You mean John Lennon.
434
00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:27,172
No. People liked him.
435
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:31,176
Back in the service,
we used to have a saying--
436
00:18:31,176 --> 00:18:34,179
you can't expect the troops
to salute you
437
00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:36,181
if you're sleeping
with the sergeant.
438
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:40,685
What branch of the service
were you in, sir?
439
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:46,692
All right, Mr. James,
440
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:49,695
what if we just decided
to keep this a secret?
441
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:52,698
Let's jump back
in the way-back machine
442
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:54,199
one more time.
443
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:56,701
Hi, kids.
How goes it?
444
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:58,704
So, you two
having an affair?
445
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,706
No.
Good!
446
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:03,709
You two scoot. I have
to make some phone calls.
447
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:05,210
I love that free
long-distance.
448
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:09,214
You own the company,
so, technically, it isn't free.
449
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:12,217
Don't mess with the man
with a way-back machine.
450
00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:14,719
I could make it
so you were never born.
451
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,221
We'll be outside.
452
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:17,722
Good day, sunshines.
453
00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:21,726
Good night, Bill.
454
00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:25,730
Good night, Bill.
455
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:28,734
Bill, seriously,
be careful with that stun gun.
456
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:29,735
Don't fiddle with it.
457
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:33,238
[MOANING]
458
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:41,746
Ahem.
459
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:45,250
So, Dave, who you going
to send up to New Hampshire
460
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:46,251
for the primaries?
461
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,253
Oh, I've assigned
that to...
462
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,757
Lisa.
463
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,258
Uh-huh.
464
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,760
Because she really
is the best--
465
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:57,763
Uh-uh-uh.
466
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:00,765
It's really not--
467
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,267
Please, please.
468
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,272
Hey, Dave.
469
00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:08,273
Oh, my.
470
00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:10,275
Are you ready to go?
471
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,777
I've been meaning
to call you.
472
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,279
Lisa and I...
473
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:15,780
What are you girls,
models?
474
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:25,290
So, Mr. McNeal.
475
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:28,793
You're a hard man
to get a hold of.
476
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:33,799
Looks like
it's just you and me now.
477
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,801
[GROANS]
478
00:20:41,306 --> 00:20:43,308
So that's when I discovered
479
00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:46,311
if I wore the eye patch
on this eye,
480
00:20:46,311 --> 00:20:48,813
it would make this eye
stronger and vice versa.
481
00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:51,316
But I digress.
What were we talking about?
482
00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:52,317
[GROANS]
483
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:54,819
That's right.
That's right.
484
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:57,322
The note in Vince Foster's
briefcase.
485
00:20:57,322 --> 00:21:00,325
Intentional misdirect,
covert ops written all over it,
486
00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:03,828
courtesy of the B.C.C.I.,
thank you.
487
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:05,330
[GROANS]
488
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:08,833
11:30. Can you believe
I've been here
489
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,335
for over three hours?
490
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:13,338
I almost forgot why I
came here in the first place.
491
00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:16,341
I work at the coffee shop
across the street.
492
00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:18,343
We were wondering if
we could get a picture of you
493
00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:22,847
for above the counter.
494
00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:26,351
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
495
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:29,354
Listen and you remember what
the whole key to that story was,
496
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:30,355
don't you?
497
00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:33,859
[GRUNTING A REPLY]
498
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:39,364
"Hillary's mutual fund."
You got it, babe.
499
00:21:39,364 --> 00:21:42,367
Thanks for the glossy.
Stop in anytime.
500
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:44,369
A cup of joe on me.
501
00:21:46,872 --> 00:21:48,373
Wait, wait, wait.
502
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:51,876
Bill, you want to play?
503
00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:53,879
Come on, it's more fun
with three people.
504
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:54,880
[GROANING]
505
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:55,881
Yeah, that's
the spirit, Bill.
506
00:21:55,881 --> 00:21:57,883
Think fast!
507
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:00,885
Do over!
508
00:22:08,393 --> 00:22:09,894
[♪]
35062
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof