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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:05,572 Beth. 2 00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:06,573 Bill. 3 00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:09,075 What are you doing for lunch today? 4 00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:11,077 Same thing I'm doing right now, 5 00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:12,578 except with yogurt. 6 00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:16,082 Well, as you may or may not know, 7 00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:17,583 I'll be going to the annual 8 00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,586 broadcaster's luncheon at the Waldorf. 9 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:20,587 Whoo-whoo! 10 00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:21,588 Thank you. 11 00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:24,090 Anyway, it'll be a very posh affair-- 12 00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:26,092 black tie, catered food, the whole nine yards. 13 00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:28,094 Look, Bill, I can barely afford two meals a day, 14 00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,595 and that's counting the yogurt, 15 00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:31,598 so could you please not rub it in my face? 16 00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:34,100 You are a sassy one, aren't you? 17 00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:37,103 Seriously, Beth, 18 00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:40,106 I was wondering if you would like to join me as my guest. 19 00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:43,109 Really? 20 00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:44,610 This isn't one of those tit-for-tat things 21 00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:46,613 where I'm going to have to wax your car 22 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:50,116 or take your senile aunt to the movies, is it? 23 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:53,119 No. Your gracious acceptance would be reward enough. 24 00:00:53,119 --> 00:00:54,120 Really? Okay, Bill. 25 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,621 I would be honored to go with you. 26 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,123 Then it's a date. 27 00:00:57,123 --> 00:00:58,124 I'll pick you up 28 00:00:58,124 --> 00:01:00,126 after my Dow Jones update at 12:27. 29 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:02,128 Cool. Oh, you know what, Bill, you'd better make it 12:28. 30 00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:03,629 I want to do my nails. 31 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,131 Beth... 32 00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:07,133 Do you have any nail polish I can borrow? 33 00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:08,634 Top drawer. What's going on? 34 00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:11,638 I'm going to a big, free lunch at the Waldorf. 35 00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:14,140 Beth, why are you going on a date with Bill? 36 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,641 It's not a date, Lisa. 37 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:16,643 I don't think he meant it like that. 38 00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,645 Who didn't mean what like what? 39 00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:21,648 Bill just asked Beth to go to a luncheon with him. 40 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:24,651 Uh-huh. Bill's finally making his move, huh? 41 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:25,652 What move? 42 00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,654 Oh, get off it, Beth. 43 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:30,657 Bill has been eyeballing you since the Christmas party. 44 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:33,660 Remember when you were wearing that blue dress? 45 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,161 Oh, my God. 46 00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:38,164 I forgot about the blue dress. 47 00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:39,665 What blue dress? 48 00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,668 It's that low-cut, sort of... 49 00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:43,169 Mini... 50 00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:45,171 Shows off my bosoms. 51 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,172 That is a great dress. 52 00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:47,673 Thank you very much. 53 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,175 Where did you get that dress? 54 00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:50,676 Loehmann's. Guess how much? $75. 55 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:53,179 No way. No lie. Yes way. 56 00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,180 It's Italian. 57 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,681 Italian-made or Italian-designed? 58 00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:56,683 Ladies. 59 00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:58,184 Sorry. 60 00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:00,186 Beth, I just don't think that you should let Bill pressure you 61 00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:01,187 into doing anything 62 00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:03,689 that you do not want to do. 63 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:06,192 What is this, an episode of Blossom? 64 00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:07,693 Look, I'm going to the luncheon. 65 00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,195 I can take care of myself, 66 00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:11,697 and Bill is basically just a harmless guy. 67 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,710 Can you guys just pretend to work when I walk by? 68 00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:29,715 [♪] 69 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,751 Really? I thought that was against the law. 70 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,253 Yeah. No. He's here right now. 71 00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:09,755 Yeah, well, I've got to go. 72 00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:14,761 Uh-huh. Okay. 73 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:17,764 All right. I'll see you. Bye-bye. 74 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,265 Delightful lady. 75 00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:20,266 Oh, who? 76 00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:21,267 Your mother. 77 00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:22,768 I accidentally hit your speed-dial. 78 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,271 Thanks, Dave. 79 00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:27,773 What was it you wanted to see me about? 80 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:30,276 Um... Sir, I've been going over these-- 81 00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:31,777 Can you make it fast, Dave? 82 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,279 I got to get home, feed the dogs. 83 00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:34,780 You know, I can't believe it, 84 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,282 I forgot to feed them this morning. 85 00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:37,783 Well, sir, it's about the budget. 86 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:40,286 Budget? Don't I pay someone else to think about that? 87 00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:42,288 That would be me. 88 00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,290 Well, then why am I thinking about it? 89 00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,792 You know, you're not giving me much bang for my buck here, Dave. 90 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,795 Well, sir, I really wouldn't really bring it up 91 00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:51,297 unless I thought it was important. 92 00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:53,799 You know, the station is $6000 over budget. 93 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:54,801 Wow. $6000. 94 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,302 Yeah. You see? 95 00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,804 Yeah. That takes me back to a time 96 00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,306 when $6000 was a lot of money to me. 97 00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,810 Well, sir, it still is a lot of money to me, 98 00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:06,312 and I think it's important we figure out where it's going. 99 00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:07,813 Yeah, it's important, but I think I'm going to 100 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,816 let you fly solo on this one, Dave. 101 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:10,817 You think you can handle it? 102 00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,318 I'll give it my best. 103 00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:14,320 Good, because I don't like to micromanage, 104 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,322 and as I said before... 105 00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:17,323 my dogs are hungry. 106 00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:18,824 All right, sir, I'll tell you what, 107 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,326 once I figure out where the money went, 108 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:21,827 I'll give you a call, and we can discuss it then. 109 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,830 I'll be waiting by the phone. I'll see you. 110 00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:26,833 Where are you off to, Jimmy? 111 00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:28,835 Got to feed the dogs. 112 00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,336 I hear that. 113 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:36,342 Ready for the ball, Cinderella? 114 00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:37,343 Beth's not so sure 115 00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:39,345 she wants to go anymore, Bill. 116 00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:40,846 Hi, Lisa. Anyway... 117 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,348 Actually, I'm running home to change. 118 00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:44,350 I've got a really cool pantsuit that I got 119 00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:45,351 at the Salvation Army 120 00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:46,852 for guess how much. 121 00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,855 Eight bucks. Seven. 122 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,857 And all for a good cause. Bless your heart. 123 00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:54,360 Hey, I was just thinking... 124 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,362 What about that blue dress? 125 00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:00,366 Uh-huh. 126 00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:05,371 Blue dress? I don't think I own a blue dress, Bill. 127 00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:06,372 I think he means 128 00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:08,374 the one you wore at the Christmas party. 129 00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:09,875 Thank you, Matthew. I remember now. 130 00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:10,877 Fantastic. 131 00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:13,379 Devil with a blue dress on? 132 00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:14,880 More like an angel. 133 00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,385 Is he gone yet? 134 00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:20,386 Yeah. Good. 135 00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:24,890 Well, I just think it's disgusting 136 00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,392 the way he's hitting on her, that's all. 137 00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:28,394 Oh, come on, Lisa, they're just going to lunch. 138 00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:29,895 Everybody goes to lunch. 139 00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:31,898 You and I go to lunch. 140 00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:35,902 Yeah, at my apartment... 141 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:39,405 and we don't eat. 142 00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:41,907 True enough, but at least we're staying trim. 143 00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:44,910 Okay. Let's see. 144 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:48,414 What's 17% of 4300? 145 00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:49,915 731. 146 00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:53,419 Wow. 147 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:56,422 27% of 539. 148 00:05:56,422 --> 00:05:58,424 145.5 something. 149 00:05:58,424 --> 00:05:59,925 Man. 150 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:02,428 Yeah, I'm a big hit at parties. 151 00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:03,929 What are you doing? 152 00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:04,931 Huh? What are you doing? 153 00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:07,433 Oh, I'm trying to figure out 154 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:09,435 how we went $6000 over budget. 155 00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:11,937 Oh, Dave, don't ask me to snitch on my co-workers, okay? 156 00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,940 Lisa, I never asked you to snitch, 157 00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,942 but a name just popped into your head, didn't it? 158 00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:17,443 Oh, come on, who is it? 159 00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:18,444 Come on, come on, help me out. 160 00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:19,945 Dave, I can't do this. 161 00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:21,447 Please, Lisa, give me something, anything. 162 00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:22,448 All right. 163 00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,452 Check the phone bill. 164 00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:28,954 What? 165 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,456 Check the phone bill. 166 00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:31,957 Check it for what? 167 00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:33,960 That's all I can give you. 168 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:34,961 You've got to understand. 169 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:37,463 But, Lisa, please, help me out. 170 00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:38,464 His initial is "M." 171 00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:40,466 First or last name? First. 172 00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:41,967 Matthew. I'd rather not say. 173 00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:42,468 Thank you. 174 00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:52,979 Dave. Dave! 175 00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,981 Matthew, can I talk to you for a second? 176 00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,983 Sure. What is it? 177 00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:58,484 Matthew, you make a lot 178 00:06:58,484 --> 00:07:00,986 of long-distance phone calls, don't you? 179 00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:03,489 Yeah. Uh-huh. 180 00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,491 Well, I've got to research things 181 00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:06,992 and do phone interviews. 182 00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:07,994 Oh, yeah. 183 00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:09,495 You know, research things. Why? 184 00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:10,996 Yeah, yeah. No, no, it's just-- 185 00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,999 Why don't you tell whoever you're talking to 186 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:16,002 that you'll call them back in a little while? 187 00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:17,503 Okay. Your office? Five minutes? 188 00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:21,006 No, no, no. Right here, right now. 189 00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,509 Okay. 190 00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:26,011 [SPEAKS FRENCH] 191 00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:32,518 ...supervisor... 192 00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:40,526 Look, I am not the only one 193 00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:42,528 that abuses office privileges around here-- 194 00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:44,029 I know that. 195 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,532 But I'm not going to snitch on anyone, okay? 196 00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:48,534 I'm not a snitch. No one's asking you to snitch. 197 00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:50,536 No one thinks that you are, Matthew, but who is it? 198 00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,538 Catherine, hair salon, corporate account. 199 00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:54,039 Thank you, Matthew. 200 00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:02,047 So, how fantastic do I look? 201 00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:04,550 Very spiffy, Bill. 202 00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:05,551 Thank you. 203 00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:08,053 In a sleazy sort of way. 204 00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,564 Now, Bill, do you think that Beth 205 00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,566 is the best person for you to be taking 206 00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:22,067 to this little luncheon? 207 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:24,570 So the claws come out. 208 00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,071 Meow! 209 00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:29,575 What are you talking about, Bill? 210 00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,577 I'm sorry, Lisa, I only had one extra ticket, 211 00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:34,580 but if it'll make you feel any better, 212 00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:36,582 you were my third choice. 213 00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:40,085 Okay, okay. Why don't we all just settle down? 214 00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,587 It's okay, chief. 215 00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:44,590 Show me a woman who isn't jealous of another woman, 216 00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:46,091 and I'll show you a man. 217 00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:48,594 All right, Bill. 218 00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,596 You want to get into it? 219 00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:52,097 We can get into it. 220 00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,600 Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, before you get into it, 221 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,602 which I assume involves punching Bill in the head, 222 00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,103 why don't you just go over there, 223 00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,605 take a moment, count to 2000, 224 00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:01,106 maybe calculate a square root? 225 00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:03,109 44.722. 226 00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:07,613 College girls. 227 00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:09,114 Look, she's just a little concerned 228 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,616 because you and Beth-- it looks-- 229 00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:18,123 I'm not so sure I want to do this anymore. 230 00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,125 Well... 231 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,626 It doesn't get any lower. 232 00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:22,127 Well, then just tell him 233 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,130 you don't want to go. 234 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,631 I already said yes. I can't-- 235 00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:27,132 Okay, stop it. This is silly, right? 236 00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,135 It's just a business luncheon, okay? 237 00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:31,637 Here we are. 238 00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:34,640 A lovely corsage for my lady. 239 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,143 Thank you, Bill, but I can pin it on myself. 240 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,145 Very well. 241 00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:40,146 Shall we? 242 00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:43,649 Oh, I guess we, um, shall. 243 00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:44,650 After you. 244 00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,652 No, after you, Bill. 245 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:57,162 Uh...so you want to go for lunch? 246 00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:00,166 No. I'm not in the mood today. 247 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:02,668 You want to get something to eat then? 248 00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:03,669 Sure. 249 00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,677 Dave, it's 3:00. 250 00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:12,678 So? 251 00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:15,681 So they're still not back yet. 252 00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:17,182 Uh-huh. What's 53 x 46? 253 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,185 Don't change the subject. 254 00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,187 2438. 255 00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:24,190 I have every right to be concerned about this. 256 00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,691 All right, Ma. 257 00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:27,693 I guess I'd better go out on the front porch 258 00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:28,694 and wait with my shotgun. 259 00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:31,697 Catherine, can I talk to you for a second? 260 00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:33,699 Sure, sweetie. 261 00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:37,202 Great. I've noticed a lot of charges in your name 262 00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:39,705 to an account for Cerise. 263 00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:40,706 Cerise? 264 00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:41,707 Yeah. 265 00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,709 No, that doesn't ring a bell, sorry. 266 00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:45,210 Are you sure? 267 00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:47,213 Look. It's right here. 268 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:49,215 Oh. Sherizay. 269 00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:52,218 That's the salon that does my hair. 270 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,220 Oh, um... 271 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:57,223 okay, maybe this is a stupid question, 272 00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,725 but why is the station 273 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:02,728 paying $200 a visit 274 00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:04,730 for Shezihersay's-- 275 00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:05,731 Sherizay. 276 00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:08,233 Thank you-- to do your hair? 277 00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:10,236 Sherizay doesn't do my hair. 278 00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:13,239 Sherizay's assistant does my hair... 279 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,241 Shavonolooge. 280 00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:19,244 Okay, you're making these names up, right? 281 00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:21,747 Well, regardless. 282 00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:24,750 if you really need to have your hair done 283 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:25,751 by Shavellaloo... 284 00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:26,752 Shavonolooge. 285 00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:28,253 Zzz... 286 00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:30,756 I'm afraid you're just going to have to pay for it 287 00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:32,257 out of your own pocket. 288 00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,260 Oh, please. 289 00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:36,762 Beth. 290 00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:39,264 Dave, can I use your office for a while? 291 00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:40,266 Yeah, sure. 292 00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,267 Are you okay? 293 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,768 I don't want to talk about it. 294 00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:43,769 Beth? 295 00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:45,771 I don't want to talk about it. 296 00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:49,775 Bill, what happened? 297 00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:50,776 Huh? 298 00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:51,777 What happened? 299 00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,779 Oh, nothing. 300 00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:56,782 We had a very nice time. 301 00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:58,784 Well, then why did Beth just walk in here 302 00:11:58,784 --> 00:11:59,785 on the verge of tears? 303 00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:04,289 Maybe it was Rush Limbaugh's keynote speech. 304 00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:06,792 Women, 305 00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,794 they'll cry at anything, right, fellas? 306 00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:10,796 Don't look at me, man. 307 00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:13,298 Boo, Bill. Boo. 308 00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:16,302 Bill, I want to know what you did to Beth, 309 00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:18,304 and I want to know right now. 310 00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,306 What exactly are you implying, Lisa? 311 00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:21,807 Well, I am implying-- 312 00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:23,809 Okay, stop it, Lisa. 313 00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:25,811 Bill didn't do anything. 314 00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:27,813 Well, then what happened, Beth? 315 00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:29,815 Bill did not make a pass at me, 316 00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:31,316 Bill did not say anything bad to me. 317 00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:34,820 Bill was a perfect gentleman, so just leave him alone, okay? 318 00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:38,324 I'm sorry, Lisa. We were interrupted. 319 00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,326 You were saying? 320 00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:44,330 I think we all misjudged you, Bill. 321 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:47,833 Yay, Bill. Yay. 322 00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:50,335 Well, Lisa, if you and the rest of the vultures 323 00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:52,338 are through feasting on my entrails, 324 00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:55,341 I have a job to do. 325 00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:56,342 Boo, Lisa. 326 00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:57,343 Boo. 327 00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:59,345 LISA: Matthew, shut up. 328 00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:00,846 Ooh. 329 00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:10,856 Go away. I don't want to talk about it. 330 00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:11,857 Come on, Beth. 331 00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:13,859 Don't you at least want to tell us what happened? 332 00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:14,860 Look, Lisa, 333 00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,862 if Beth doesn't want to talk about it, 334 00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,363 we should just respect that, all right? 335 00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:18,864 All right. 336 00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,370 BETH: Very funny, Dave. 337 00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:26,872 Come on, Beth. 338 00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:29,374 You can't lie on my couch forever. 339 00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:30,876 Okay, I'll talk about it. 340 00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,377 All right. 341 00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:33,879 Okay, the luncheon was really wonderful, 342 00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:35,380 Bill was very nice, 343 00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,883 and then on the way back here in the limo-- 344 00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:39,885 Wait a minute. Bill had a limo? Dave? 345 00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:40,886 Yeah. He takes them all the time. 346 00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:41,887 Anyway, on the way back-- 347 00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:44,389 Okay, hold on a second. 348 00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:49,895 Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay. Great. 349 00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:51,396 Okay, all right. All right. 350 00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:53,399 So, you're driving in the limo... 351 00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,901 And I leaned over and grabbed Bill's head 352 00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:57,903 and shoved my tongue down his throat. 353 00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,410 Why in the world would you do a thing like that? 354 00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:08,414 Well, I don't know, Dave. It just happened. 355 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:09,415 Oh, my God. 356 00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:10,416 Did he kiss you back? 357 00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:11,417 No. 358 00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:12,918 Are you sure? 359 00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:16,922 Lisa, it was like his tongue disappeared, okay? 360 00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:19,424 I got nothing but air. 361 00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:25,431 Maybe he slipped me some Spanish fly. 362 00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:27,933 No, actually, that doesn't actually exist... 363 00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:29,434 Or does it? 364 00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:31,937 You know, I've never really been clear on that. 365 00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:32,938 What happened? 366 00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,940 I kissed Bill. 367 00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:35,941 On purpose? 368 00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:37,442 What's going on? 369 00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:39,445 She kissed Bill. On purpose? 370 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:40,946 Maybe he slipped you 371 00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:43,949 some Spanish fly or something. 372 00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:45,450 Actually, while you are all here, 373 00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:47,453 I want to discuss some of these charges 374 00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:48,954 to various company accounts. 375 00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:51,456 Um... 376 00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:52,958 Okay, well, listen. Hey. 377 00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:54,960 Can you at least tell me who's been charging 378 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,462 magazine subscriptions to the station? 379 00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:58,964 That was me, Dave. 380 00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:00,465 Okay, who else? 381 00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:01,967 Come on, I've had, like, 382 00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:02,968 93 subscriptions last month alone. 383 00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:03,969 Those are all mine, Dave. 384 00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:07,473 Thank you, everybody. 385 00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:09,475 What? 386 00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:10,476 I'm trying to win 387 00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:12,478 the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, okay? 388 00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:15,481 I'd like to be the first psychotic nymphomaniac 389 00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:19,485 to get a big check from Ed McMahon. 390 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,487 All right, look, Beth, I know you've had a rough day. 391 00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,989 I know this has been very hard on you, 392 00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:25,991 and I know you've heard this before, 393 00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:27,492 but I'm going to say it again 394 00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,995 because it's important, all right? 395 00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:32,497 You do not have to subscribe in order to be eligible 396 00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:33,999 for the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. 397 00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:40,505 You are so naive, Dave. 398 00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:47,513 Hello, Lisa. 399 00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,515 Hello, Bill. 400 00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:52,017 Listen, Bill, I, um... 401 00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:55,020 I guess I owe you-- I owe you an apology. 402 00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,522 I guess you do. 403 00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,525 Yeah. 404 00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:06,031 So? 405 00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:09,534 Oh! I'm sorry. I thought that was it. 406 00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,537 Okay, um... okay. 407 00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,539 Bill, I apologize. 408 00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:16,041 No apology necessary, Lisa. 409 00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:19,544 Are you okay? 410 00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:22,548 I've never felt so deeply and hurtfully violated 411 00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,550 in all my life. 412 00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:26,552 Well, what exactly happened? 413 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:31,056 She Frenched me, Lisa. 414 00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:34,059 She was being a perfect young lady, 415 00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:37,062 then...wham, she's all over me. 416 00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:38,563 Well, I'm sorry. 417 00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:41,066 That must have been very awkward for you. 418 00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:42,567 You know what it's like? 419 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,570 It's like taking your daughter to the fair 420 00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:46,071 and buying her cotton candy 421 00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:47,572 and winning prizes for her, 422 00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:50,075 then you get on the Ferris wheel, 423 00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:51,576 and she wants to make out. 424 00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:55,580 Okay. 425 00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:59,084 Well, how could she do that to me, Lisa? 426 00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:01,086 How could she... 427 00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:03,088 French her Daddy? 428 00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,590 You know what, Bill? 429 00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:07,593 I'm getting very uncomfortable with that particular metaphor, 430 00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:10,095 so, um... 431 00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:11,096 Bill, Beth would like 432 00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:13,098 to speak to you in here if that's all right. 433 00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:15,600 If I'm not out in 10 minutes-- 434 00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:18,103 Oh, just get in there. 435 00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:19,604 Great, Bill. 436 00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:25,110 Here. Have a seat, Bill. 437 00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:27,112 I think I'll... 438 00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:29,114 All right. 439 00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:32,117 Well... 440 00:17:32,117 --> 00:17:33,118 [KNOCKING] 441 00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:34,119 Hi. 442 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,621 Oh, I'm sorry. Do you mind if I... 443 00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:38,123 Well, Lisa, I think maybe you shouldn't-- 444 00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:39,624 I would really like it 445 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,627 is Lisa were here for this. 446 00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:42,628 All right. Um... 447 00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:43,629 Sorry. 448 00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:48,133 All right. Now, Beth... 449 00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:51,136 You had something that you wanted to say... 450 00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:54,139 to Bill. 451 00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:55,640 Yes, I did, Dave. 452 00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,142 Bill... 453 00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:00,645 I just want to say... 454 00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:04,149 I am so very sorry. 455 00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:08,153 I am completely responsible for what happened... 456 00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:10,155 Good. 457 00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:12,657 But it is not my fault. 458 00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,660 Okay, Beth, some might argue 459 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:17,162 that those were contradictory statements. 460 00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:19,664 It was just something about the moment. 461 00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:22,668 It was such a perfect moment-- 462 00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:24,670 the amazing luncheon, 463 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,171 and you in your tuxedo, 464 00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,173 and the limo. 465 00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:30,175 Oh, for God's sake, Bill, in a situation like that, 466 00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:32,677 I might be tempted to give you a peck on the cheek. 467 00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:35,180 Anyway, you know, 468 00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:37,182 it was just the moment, you know, Bill, 469 00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:39,184 it wasn't you. 470 00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:41,186 It was just the moment. 471 00:18:41,186 --> 00:18:44,189 Well... 472 00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,690 There we go. 473 00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:48,193 I think we've really worked this whole thing out now, huh? 474 00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:51,196 All right, well, I guess we can get on with our lives. 475 00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:52,697 Not so fast, Dave. 476 00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:55,701 Or we could talk about it some more. 477 00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,703 This all sounds well and good, 478 00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:59,705 but what happens, say, next week, 479 00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:04,710 when Beth and I are alone at the office late one evening. 480 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:08,213 I don't know if I'll feel... 481 00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:09,714 safe. 482 00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:15,721 You know what, Bill, it was just the moment, you know? 483 00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:16,722 I think you're going to be safe. 484 00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:18,223 I think you're going to be safe. 485 00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:19,724 I think I can promise you 486 00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:21,226 in the future, 487 00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:23,228 Beth will be able to control herself. 488 00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:30,736 Can you, Dave? 489 00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:32,237 Can you? 490 00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:50,755 It was the moment, Bill. 491 00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,758 It was just the moment, you know? 492 00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:56,762 Whatever gets you through the night, Beth. 493 00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:59,765 In a way, this is all my fault. 494 00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:02,267 I guess I'm just guilty 495 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,768 of being me, 496 00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,270 which isn't a crime. 497 00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:07,272 Maybe it should be, huh? 498 00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:13,779 Good night, you guys. 499 00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:15,280 BETH: Good night, Dave. 500 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,783 You know, I think it would probably be safer 501 00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,786 if I took the stairs. 502 00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,287 Ciao. 503 00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:27,793 Why am I so angry right now, Dave? 504 00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:29,294 I don't know. 505 00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:30,795 Could it be because you forfeited your right 506 00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,297 to dispute his little thesis 507 00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:34,799 when you rammed your tongue down his throat? 508 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,802 What do you think? Maybe? You think? 509 00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:39,304 Come on. There's something there. 510 00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:46,311 Um, well, about this budget, sir... 511 00:20:46,311 --> 00:20:51,316 Yes, so, sir, we had some long-distance abuse, 512 00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:53,318 some photocopier abuse, 513 00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:56,321 people charging visits to the hair salon. 514 00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:57,322 Matthew? 515 00:20:57,322 --> 00:20:59,824 Catherine. 516 00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:00,826 Oh. 517 00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,327 Well, I'm just glad you were able 518 00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:03,328 to get to the bottom of it. 519 00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:04,829 Good work, Dave. 520 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,832 Oh, Mr. James, there is one other glitch, though. 521 00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:09,835 We are way, way over budget 522 00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:11,837 on fuel for the traffic helicopter. 523 00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,840 Uh-huh. Well, it sounds like we've got a leaky copter, Dave. 524 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,341 Well, sir, I talked to the pilot, 525 00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:17,842 and he chalks it up 526 00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:20,846 to an increase in the number of round trips 527 00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:22,347 from the roof of this building 528 00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:24,349 to a private residence in Litchfield, Connecticut. 529 00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:29,854 Litchfield? Hey, that's where I live! 530 00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:32,357 Okay, you got me, Columbo. 531 00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:33,858 Look, I like to go to lunch. 532 00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:35,360 I like to play with my dogs. 533 00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:36,861 Is that a crime? 534 00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:38,363 Well, sir, this fuel expenditure 535 00:21:38,363 --> 00:21:40,365 is 90% of our budget problem. 536 00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:41,866 90%? Well, that's a lot. 537 00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:44,870 Yes, yes, and I do have a solution. 538 00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:46,872 So do I. 539 00:21:46,872 --> 00:21:48,373 Okay, let's hear yours first. 540 00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:50,875 Good idea, since that's the one 541 00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:51,877 we're going to be using. 542 00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:53,378 So? 543 00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:55,380 Increase the helicopter fuel budget. 544 00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:56,881 Sounds great to me. 545 00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:59,384 Yeah. Oh, good job on that phone bill, Dave. 546 00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:01,886 Glad you were able to block those 976 numbers. 547 00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:03,388 How did you know I did that? 548 00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:06,391 I'll see you tomorrow, Dave. 549 00:22:09,895 --> 00:22:12,898 [♪] 37012

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