Original subtitles

These stories are inspired by the actual case files

of the Office of Scientific Investigation and Research.

How good of you to join us for this auspicious event.

Truly momentous, wouldn't you agree?

Momentous? I was just saying that.

Or was it monotonous? I always get those things mixed up.

You can dress him up, but you can't take him out.

Hey, I appreciate high culture.

Just not during the playoffs.

Matthew!

What a surprise.

Lindsay, you look exquisite.

What a much-shot liver.

Ladies and gentlemen, gather round.

Please, gather round.

I'm Dr. Jeffrey Tompkins, curator of the Abbott Museum of Art.

And I'd like to introduce Mr. Victor Tsang, Consul General,

and thank him for assisting us in acquiring this extraordinary piece.

I've heard it's exquisite.

Oh, don't say so.

Mr. Tsang, would you please do the honors?

The Abbott Museum has had this exquisite sword in its collection for years.

It is believed to have come from the Emperor's court.

That's remarkable.

May this brave warrior guard over your distinguished museum and its generous patrons.

- Good night, Eddie. - Good night, sir.

Is something wrong, Dr. Tompkins?

I left my glasses in my office. I'll be back in a second, Eddie.

Dr. Tompkins?

God !

The myth and magic of ancient China has become almost as ageless as time itself.

Chinese culture has inspired scholars and poets alike

to create visionary expressions in the fields of art and science.

But where do myths end and facts begin?

One story is that the first emperor, Qin Shi Huangdi,

buried over 400 Confucian scholars alive just to quell a protest.

Was this the political act of a tyrannical dictator or merely an expression of pure evil?

Now if so, can evil live on through time, adopting new forms,

lying in wait to kill again?

In case file 371211, the OSIR was challenged by a horrifying riddle,

which brought the mysteries of the past to a violent collision with the present.

I heard some noise, I rushed over.

Case manager's log.

The police department and the Abbott Museum of Art have requested

that we investigate the decapitation of Dr. Jeffrey Tompkins

and the subsequent theft of a terracotta sculpture.

The cut's so clean, it's as if they used a laser.

But that would mean lugging the equipment as well as the statue.

And it must have weighed at least 300 pounds.

Why go to all the trouble of cutting it off at its base?

Yeah. Not to mention that guy's head.

I truly appreciate your assembling the team and working through the night like this.

I'm still not sure why we're here.

Since when do we investigate robbery and murder?

Since Jeffrey Tompkins was a good friend of mine.

Sorry, Frank.

I am aware that our involvement goes beyond our mandate.

But if the press gets wind of this, Jeffrey's murder, the theft,

an international incident like this could have serious repercussions.

So this is just political damage control?

Politics is the allocation of resources. This is how I choose to allocate mine.

The guard didn't have anything that the police report didn't have.

There's no spray pattern. There's not enough blood for a beheading.

The posit of the body was Tompkins?

There's no indication that it wasn't. It had his wallet and ID on him.

Have rerun the prints.

And have them forward a copy to medical examiners report to Hendricks.

Right.

No sign of breaking and entering? Or an accident?

Maybe this has something to do with the mythology surrounding the Terracotta Army.

The people of the time were highly superstitious.

Magic was part of their everyday lives.

Yeah, and remember what Isaac Asimov said.

Magic is just science we don't yet understand.

That statue didn't just walk out of here.

Case log update.

On the recommendation of Michael Kelly, we're meeting with Hamilton Darwell,

a local professor of ancient Chinese studies for further information on the missing statue.

Hey, pooch.

Stay !

His name was Clifford.

In life he never obeyed a single command.

You'll found he's not much obedient now.

Michael Kelly said I should expecting you.

This is a remarcable collection, Mr. Darwell.

How kind.

****, a delightful fragrance, Miss Donner.

And you, Matt Prager.

Sandalwood, strong, practical, much as I expected, given Kelly's account of you.

I presume from you awkward silence that I neglected to tell you I'm stone blind.

Yes, that's right.

Macular degeneration. Damn nuisance.

Though it is remarcable how much the fingers can see.

Hand me an object.

Anything.

Here you go.

Too light to be gold.

Silver.

Hand tooled. Semi pretious stones.

Egyptian will be my guess.

I bought it at a bazaar in Cairo.

That's some bar trick.

It's no trick.

This is my world.

My things, my memories.

And it's all here in living colour.

Did Kelly tell you about my latest acquisition?

Yeah, that's why we're here.

I'd like you to see if he gets this.

Michael is the only one I trust to authenticate it.

Han dynasty?

Well done. Over 2,000 years old.

Typical TLV pattern.

Shouldn't have been a museum.

That's my point exactly.

Of course, Dr. Tompkins had a different perspective,

or he wouldn't have sold it to me.

Unfortunate his ghastly demise.

Did you know him well?

I met him in Hong Kong briefly in the 80s.

Burish man.

Vile cologne.

Mike says you suspect he was using the museum as a front to sell off antiquities.

Undoubtedly.

Only a fool or a thief would sell a priceless mirror like that.

And Tompkins was no fool.

If he was dealing in artifacts like this, he was not working alone.

That could explain the missing statue.

I've given that some thought since you called.

Ms. Donner, immediately behind you,

a second shelf from the bottom, you'll find a large volume tied to a notebook.

Yeah, I've got it.

That, dearest, is the hand-lettered transcription

of a Dower's manuscript dating back to 200 BC.

I came upon the scrolls in a Tibetan monastery and had it transcribed.

Ah, unfortunately I was unable to complete the translation before the lights went out.

I think you'll find the passage on General Tse and the terracotta army enlightening.

The site was discovered in 1974 by farmers digging a well in the Xi'an province.

8,000 figures of horses, archers, generals and cavalrymen,

all carrying real swords and crossbows and no two are alike.

All that to protect the Emperor and the afterlife. Amazing.

I've been to Xi'an myself.

They didn't see death as the end of life, but the consummation of it.

Spirit World was very real to them. A land of the immortals.

According to Darwell's manuscript,

General Tse was one of the Emperor's most trusted officers,

but that's where the translation ends.

The stolen statue has a long coat and armor plating of a general.

You think our statue could be the same guy?

Why would the Emperor build an entire army and not take his commanding officer with him?

I'll check with Darwell in the morning.

He must know someone who can finish his translation.

Well, the fact that both Tompkins and our statue are missing their heads

seems like more than a wild coincidence, don't you think?

Ray confirmed that the body is Tompkins.

The prints match those of his PRC export license,

but the body has maintained almost its entire volume of blood despite the decapitation.

It's as if the next dump was cauterized somehow.

Looking at those faces, the artists captured more than just their features.

22 centuries later, it's as if they're trying to tell us something.

Do you really think we're dealing with something supernatural here?

Every culture and religion has allusions to the afterlife, the great beyond.

We can't prove it.

We can't disprove it either.

You guys aren't going to believe this.

It won't be the first time.

I was surfing the net trying to find some background information on the terracotta army.

This showed up.

The police department is investigating the decapitation of the curator of the Abbot...

How'd they get this?

I don't know.

This quotes my initial log word for word.

Let's get Ray on this.

We get a security leak.

Yeah.

Mr. Prager, coma.

I believe I have found something that will be of use to you, period.

I've made some calls to my associates in Hong Kong regarding the late Dr. Tompkins, period.

Apparently, at the time I met him, coma,

Tompkins was a buyer for a consortium of high-end dealers of antiquities in Europe.

That's a man of that freedom.

Resuming.

Tompkins was a buyer for a consortium of exclusive antique dealers in Europe, period.

Who's there?

Speak up!

I know you're there.

Mr. Darwell?

Mr. Darwell, it's Lindsay Donner.

Hello!

Hello, Mr. Darwell?

Hi !

Oh no !

Mr. Darwell?

Oh my God !

Tompkins !

Matt !

It's for you. Scottie.

News travel's fast.

Resume file.

Who's there? Question.

Speak up. Period. I know you're there. Period.

What do you? Unintelligible.

The head? Unintelligible.

What? Question. Who are? Question. General? Unintelligible.

No. Period. Please no. Period.

End of file.

Oh, it's you. You must be hungry.

Matt, the window!

You go that way.

Thanks for following up on the translation, Mike.

I can see why you liked him.

Well, aside from you, I have few friends,

and now I have one less.

And I would consider it a personal favor

if you would find out who did this.

You think this was worth killing him for?

Oh, nothing was.

Would you pass me the pepper, please?

You know, values, they're so relative, they're so mutable.

This pepper.

I run out of it.

I can scurry down to the corner store.

Centuries ago, this was as valuable as gold.

Entire trade routes of the Far East were built around it.

Speaking of international transactions,

I checked out Tompkins Financial Affairs.

- He recently purchased a villa in Tuscany. - Woo!

Not bad on a curator's salary.

I assume that you met the gentleman at the Chinese consulate, Victor Sang?

Yeah, at the opening.

I'm still sifting through the details,

but I suspect that Sang and Tompkins

are in league on some extracurricular level.

Then why this head-switching gag?

And why kill Tompkins in the first place?

The statue is so unique, you could never exhibit it.

Some art lovers are purely interested in the prestige

of attaining the unattainable.

Yeah, like the Gardner robbery a few years back.

Vermeer's and Rembrandt's too hot to sell.

A snatch-to-order crime.

Well, enough money or power is involved.

No life is of value.

What? Question.

Who are... Question. General. Unintelligible.

No, period.

Please no, period.

End of file.

You think you can retrieve the text?

Well, I'm working on it.

It's not like this is a tape that we can enhance.

I need to speak with Prager immediately.

- He's, um... - He's out.

Yeah, he's chasing down some leads.

And perhaps you can explain this.

This just happened.

At least this one doesn't quote our case log.

He must have been there before I arrived.

Who?

I don't know.

He was at the window with the camera.

We almost had him, but he got away.

That's most unfortunate.

Tell you one thing, whoever it is,

they try and intercept our communications again, and we'll nail them.

Come on, we'll show you.

There are only two places he can intercept our case logs, from Central Lab...

Impossible.

Or at the point of transmission.

I've installed a bug detector into the communications uplink.

We send out a dummy signal.

If it gets interrupted in any way,

the scanner will track the interceptor.

That's passive, but it's effective if it works.

Now, what about the case in hand?

Who's killing these men? Where is the statue?

We're following up on a number of leads.

It looks like the events at the museum

are connected to Tompkins' dealings with the Chinese consul in general.

We think they've been dealing together.

Well, you better have proof before you make an allegation like that.

Well, we're about to get it.

Matt and I are going undercover.

We're meeting Sang at the consulate tomorrow.

We dropped Tompkins' name as a reference,

and he welcomed us like a family.

If you get into trouble on Chinese property,

you might just as well be in China.

He's right.

You'll be subject to Chinese laws, and we won't be able to help you.

Well, we'll keep on our toes.

Just be sure that you do.

Oh, and have Matthew call me when he returns from visiting with Mr. Kelly.

I guess the robbery's gonna put some pressure on you.

I mean, your government won't be too happy about it.

I have informed my superiors.

Our hope is that the warrior will be recovered.

How may I assist you?

Well, my wife and I are very fond of Chinese art.

Jade carvings in particular, and anything Ming.

I just love Ming.

She's got a Ming thing.

You must appreciate I am simply an emissary of my government.

Have you spoken with art dealers?

Well, that's how we found Dr. Tompkins.

We have very expensive tastes, Mr. Sang.

Then you will appreciate that vase.

Oh, it is lovely, but it's hardly Ming, Mr. sang.

The blue, it's all wrong.

That underglaze is far too indistinct.

Oh, of course. How careless of me.

Well, when Dr. Tompkins' office told us he was, well... deceased,

we thought it best to consult you directly.

Unfortunately, Jeffrey did not have the opportunity to pass along your message.

Well, he did mention that you may have access to certain items already in the country.

Items that may be of interest to private collectors.

I would be pleased to make some inquiries for you.

We'd sure appreciate that. Thank you. Cheers.

Not exactly a man's side of fortune, but...

I trust your meeting with Mr. Sang was a success?

He bought our cover story.

All we can do now is wait for him to contact us.

The Darwell manuscript.

Seems to recount a legend.

The emperor orders General Tzu to command his Terracotta army in the land of the immortals.

To accomplish this, General Tzu curls himself onto the flames that fired his own clay replica...

in order that his pole, his earthly soul, could be fused with his counterpart.

So it is possible that the statue was missing, is him?

The manuscript indicates that his seal was on the base of the statue.

The serpent and the tortoise, battling to the death.

The symbol of the dark warrior.

You got it, baby.

I missed it on the first victim.

But when I found it on Darwell's remains,

I went back and found it on Tompkins' wound as well.

You're right. It's definitely chromium salt.

Translation for the science impaired.

About 2,000 years ago, the Chinese used to treat their weapons with chromium salt

so that the bronze wouldn't corrode or rust.

We didn't get around to discovering it until the 1930s.

So these guys were beheaded with the missing sword?

So it seems, but that still doesn't explain the cauterizing effect.

Matt, we've got something.

This is our main objective right now.

What have you discovered ?

***

Mr. Prager, nice to meet you at last.

Didn't your momma teach you it's impolite to eavesdrop.

Mom ? No, no, she was a terrible gossip.

Listen, if you're not calling the police, I really must be going.

Are you ready to tell us what you were doing at Darwell's office?

I picked up the call on my police scanner, and I got there first.

The old man was already chopped up,

so I grabbed a few shots at the corpse

while you were waiting outside.

Sensitive, respectful,

that's what I like about tabloid hacks.

You didn't happen to redecorate while you were there, did you?

Like put Tompkins' head on Darwell's body.

Make a better picture for the paper, wouldn't it?

No.

I barely made it out of there before the police came in, along with you.

Either that, or I'm a crazed, head-swapping serial killer,

but that seems entirely unlikely, doesn't it?

We haven't ruled that out.

And you call yourself a journalist, Mr....?

Tucker. Jonathan Tucker.

Look, the only difference between what I do and what you do

is I document for public consumption

what you bury in super-top-secret OSIR archives.

We're on the same team, guys.

We should be working together.

Oh, yeah, definitely.

Then tell us something we don't know.

First morning after Tompkins was decapitated,

a man answering to his description

slashed a mugger with a sword not six blocks from the museum.

No sale. We checked that lead already.

See the victim was a junkie.

A little unreliable.

What about yesterday afternoon?

A vandal who looked a lot like Darwell was seen in a shop,

messing with the heads in the hat department.

And that proves he's got a thing for heads, right?

Precisely.

You didn't know that, did you?

Darwell is dead. So is Tompkins.

That's just your point, isn't it?

I believe the statue is searching for his head.

And he's stealing heads in order to find it.

I know this sounds preposterous,

but it's the only conclusion we can arrive at, logical or not.

And it certainly fits with the legend in the manuscript.

Time out, guys.

Let's save this discussion for later, okay?

Here's the deal.

You ever use a single syllable from one of our case files again,

your next paper will be published from cell block five.

Got it?

Works for me.

Take care of yourself.

You believe that guy?

I'm starting to.

Resume file.

Who's there? Question.

Speak up. Period.

I know you're there. Period.

What do you? Unintelligible.

The head... Unintelligible.

What? Question.

Who are? Question.

General... Unintelligible.

No. Period.

Please no. Period.

End of file.

I almost had it.

This software is designed to recognize the voice of the user.

Darwell must have been too far away from the microphone.

Why would Darwell be asking the killer about General Tse?

I don't know.

What's this look like to you?

Here.

Uh...

Snake and a turtle.

You're right. It's a serpent and a tortoise.

The symbol of General Tzu.

The missing statue is him.

Better get ready. We don't want to keep Mr. Sang waiting.

We still got a lot of loose ends to tie up before we settle on the Ichabod Crane theory.

Wait a minute.

That's it!

The computer garbled the text because there was more than one voice.

Hang on a second.

Let's try this.

Resume file.

Who's there? Question.

Speak up. Period.

I know you're there. Period.

What do you want? Question.

The head of General Tzu. Period.

What do you want? Question.

Who are you? Question.

The head of General Tzu. Period.

No. Period. Please no. Period.

End of file.

The head of General Tzu? Someone was after it?

That's why it was killed.

It was an answer, not a question.

This is truly a remarkable collection.

We had no idea.

However, did you get these things out of China?

Diplomatic transport. Indonesian freighter.

Imported through Tompkins and the museum.

Unfortunately, both ends of that conduit are no longer available.

Well, I guess you've seen a lot of changes over the years.

From the Cultural Revolution to the reunification of Hong Kong.

But it is still the same China.

I still have my little red book.

Mao gave it to my mother personally.

She said he smelled of mothballs.

Is this the head from the stolen statue?

We removed it before delivery to the museum.

So many of the figures are missing pieces.

Tompkins felt it would not raise any suspicions.

Better to make a very rare item for a personal collection, wouldn't it?

Most certainly.

When can we see the genuine articles?

If you're serious about buying, we can make arrangements to view the items here.

After hours, of course.

All this is right here in the consulate?

We find it is very secure.

So, shall we do business?

Oh, I think so.

Honey.

Apparently art smuggling pays better than rubber-stamping visas.

We already have them hooked, Frank. I think we should go for it.

It's too risky. There are too many ways for it to go wrong.

Just showing Interpol the pictures isn't enough to bring in the big guns.

That thing's a Chinese official.

What's to stop him pleading diplomatic immunity?

For all we know, he could be behind these killings.

We won't be turning him over to our government.

We'll be turning him over to his own.

When were you planning on telling us that?

This isn't only about exposing Sang.

What about the statue?

You can't disregard the paranormal aspects of this investigation.

It's a little late to be chasing shadows, isn't it, Lindsay?

I think I need to get some air.

Come on, Frank, if you don't want us to follow up,

why are we wasting our time?

You may not like it, but your friend Tompkins

was an art smuggler and a thief.

Maybe we should let the facts decide that.

Or would you like to check with Michael Kelly first?

I'll use Michael Kelly whenever I see fit.

He is not a member of this organization.

It would be better in future

if Michael Kelly no longer interfered in OSIR business.

Understood?

Look, Frank, from day one,

I told you, I'll run my team my way.

When Kelly does interfere,

I'll be the first one to tell him to take a hike,

but until then, I'd appreciate it if you'd just back off.

Okay?

Is it better be good.

I've been doing some thinking about our killer statue, General Tzu.

Somehow he's been able to target the men who could know where his head is.

Almost like he's been using the memories of the men he kills to track it down.

The sword is part of the legend too.

Maybe there's some connection there with how he's reincarnated.

The entire Terracotta army was outfitted with real weapons,

but you already know that, I'm sure.

Welcome to Tucker's Bagelrama.

Ever had a Montreal bagel?

Look, Mr. Tucker, I came for information, not lunch.

Please, take a seat.

Please.

Okay.

The trick is,

they're blanched in honey water before they're baked in a wood-burning oven.

Tell me, what does any of this have to do with the Chinese legend?

Fat-free cream cheese.

Guilt-free.

Just like me.

You know,

as a journalist, you've become numb to all the usual horrors of the world.

You know, wars, natural disasters, death.

Just to think I've seen it all.

Is that when you quit Clarion?

Yeah.

I knew I'd heard your name before.

I used to read your bar line when I studied in London.

You were good.

Well, I still am.

But now I call my own shots a paranormal beat.

That picture of me you put in your paper.

Why did you do that?

Oh, it's a first rule of photojournalism.

In case the headline doesn't sell a story, throw in a picture of a beautiful woman.

You are good.

I'm stunned. I can't believe you met with that joker. He's a total slime.

He's a Soros mat.

It's no different than you and Kelly.

Besides, he has some interesting theories.

I'm sure he does.

I mean about the missing sword, Anton.

The sign of the Dark Warrior appears just below the hill.

Now that confirms that it belonged to General Tse.

A legend claims that the General slew a dragon with it, and since that time,

the blade was cured with the dragon's fire.

Which ties in with the cauterization of his wounds.

I thought dragons were supposed to be good luck to the Chinese.

Exactly. So to kill a dragon is an act of evil incarnate.

It's hard enough to accept a living statue could be responsible for all this,

but you're still talking about a magic sword?

Well, the natural law can't answer strange questions.

There's nowhere left to turn but the supernatural.

Yeah...

I gotta get ready for the Sang surprise party.

You've reached Tucker's cell.

Leave your hot tip after the tone.

Cheers.

John, it's Lindsay.

You were right about the connection between the sword and the General's power.

Call me later, but then I might have located what he's been missing.

TAPS TAPS

This is why I always wear sweaters.

Okay, this conceals a digital camera.

That'll broadcast still frames back to us on half-second intervals.

And this has a condenser mic in it.

And that'll give us audio to go along with the stills.

You guys, good luck. And watch yourself.

Thanks Peter.

Be careful with this.

There's $100,000 in there. I signed for it myself.

Drain the office coffee fund?

Relax, Frank.

We'll just flash the cash to prove we're serious buyers

and then we'll hand the pictures over to the Chinese government.

Rest is up to them.

Impressive, Mr. Donagon.

Not as impressive as your merchandise.

Where do you want to start, sugarplum?

Anything Ming.

What about that?

This is like watching an infomotion. Is that the best you could do?

Any bigger camera that might have been detected.

Let's see what else you've got.

That's all you get for $25,000 these days?

This item is very rare.

Its companion piece is on display in the People's Museum in Beijing.

Very rare.

Oh, we hate break up the set.

Oh, I don't know.

It all looks so much more impressive in the photos, don't you think?

What about that head from the statue?

Of course.

He's so handsome.

There's the man of the hour.

He's so much more handsome in person.

How much do you want for him?

Sixty thousand.

That's a little stiff. I don't know if...

Perhaps we'd like some time to consider what you're interested in.

We've lost the signal.

Look, we gotta do something.

We can't.

What's happening?

Please remain where you are.

Oh boy !

John ?

Oh my God !

General !

Final case log.

Consul General Victor Sang survived his wounds

and was deported to China to face the justice of his government.

Chinese officials sealed the consulate,

denied access to local authorities,

and rejected our efforts to recover any pertinent evidence.

Officially, the murders of Tompkins,

Darwell, and Tucker remain unsolved.

Prager out.

The actual tomb itself of the great Qin Shi Wang Di

remains unopened to this day.

According to ancient legend,

his resting place beneath a man-made mountain

contains untold riches and a topographical recreation of his kingdom,

including rivers of pure mercury.

Yet his tomb has remained untouched for over 2,000 years.

Is it just a lattice of deadly snares and traps

which still guard the emperor 22 centuries later?

Or is it also the legion of clay soldiers

who continue to protect him on the plains of Shen and beyond?

For PsI Factor, I'm Dan Aykroyd.

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