Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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♪♪

[gunfire]

[cars approaching]

[distant gunfire]

[tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

[crashing]

[wheezing]

You want my spot, Devon?

All you have to do is ask.

[coughing]

[gunfire]

[explosion]

[roaring]

Woman: [sobbing] My baby!

I hate you.

You're not my son.

You're a devil!

[hip-hop beat playing]

♪♪

Oh, no, man. I'm tripping, man.

Hell, no, man.

It couldn't have been my gun

that shot my sister, man.

No, man, I'm tripping. Was that me, man?

[laughing]

What are you?

Everything you can imagine...

and more.

[growling]

Consider yourself lucky, Devon.

You're still of some use to me.

Man, go fuck yourself, nigga.

It doesn't have to be that way.

I can bring your sister back to life.

So, what's it going to be?

I want back the bullet that killed my sister.

[knife twirling]

And what's this for?

Administering a clean cut from ear to ear.

A life for a life.

Girl: Mommy! Mommy, wake up!

It's me!

Just as you had a choice,

so do so many others.

Help them to reveal their true selves.

With every soul you broker into the next life,

you will gain knowledge and strength.

Oh, yeah-- whatever you do,

do it with style.

How long do I have to do this?

That's up to you.

It's always up to you.

I once asked the same question

when I was called to serve.

The answer given to me is the same one

I'll give to you.

And no matter what circumstance you are facing,

your fate is always up to you.

[door closing]

♪ I'm the crypt keeper ♪

♪ Yeah, the grim reaper ♪

♪ You won't even see me when I creep up ♪

♪ Welcome to the place where all the creatures meet ♪

Are y'all ready for some crazy shit?

Like the hood has snitches, dope fiends, and bitches,

the Hood of Horrors is haunted with freaks, demons, and devils.

The freaks I know come in all shapes and sizes,

like my main man, Charlie.

We call him Half Pint.

Now, why you always trying to get on my bad side, man?

I'm trying to tell the homies some stories,

and here you go fucking up my flow.

God damn!

One nasty little dude right here.

This place is covered with a whole bunch of 'em,

and most of them are hoping for redemption.

But they don't get it unless they listen to my stories.

'Cause I am the gate keeper to the afterparty.

Where's my legless homeboy Footloose at?

Man, you know how much them sneakers cost my mama?

She gonna kill me, man.

[chuckling] Look here, man.

You got to keep your feet out of the street,

or you're gonna end up on your ass.

But don't worry about it, though,

'cause we're gonna sew you back up so tough,

you're gonna get your own shoe endorsement deal.

But let me chill for a second,

'cause not even the most vicious O .G. would want

to walk through the streets of the Hood of Horrors.

This shit is crazier than any reality.

So, who's gangster enough to hang out with me?

Or are y'all just full of shit?

So, gather around. 'Cause me and my little freaks,

we want y'all to listen and learn.

And, no, this ain't one of your father's campfire tales,

or one of your mama's sweet bedtime stories.

And just like I ran the hood,

nigga, I run the Hood of Horrors.

[bell ringing]

[birds flapping]

[crow calling]

I just want you to know how much I miss you, Mommy.

And every chance I get to send those

gang banging bastards like Papi to hell,

I'm gonna do it.

Whatever I do...

I do it for you.

Devon: Now, let me tell you about my homegirl, Posie.

She's made death an art form.

Now, just pray that she doesn't paint your picture,

or you might end up on display in an open casket.

♪ Super gangster, accurately cruising for bangers ♪

♪ Y'all in-the-womb rappers ♪

♪ Happily remove you with hangers ♪

♪ We move like a federation of terror ♪

♪ Put you under the dirt ♪

♪ 'Cause there ain't no room in this equation for error ♪

♪ Now, just give me that ♪

♪ Don't make me take that ♪

♪ The minute I'm finished with it ♪

♪ I go straight back ♪

♪ Re-up and reload ♪

♪ Keep up my workload, homeboy ♪

♪ This block is mine 'cause I say so ♪

♪ So, just gimme that ♪

♪ Don't make me take that ♪

♪ The minute I'm finished with it ♪

♪ I go straight back ♪

Oh, man, this corner right here is doggin', look.

Man, "Posie"?

Man, what the fuck is this shit, huh?

Which one of you little bitches did this?

Flowers? Come on, Fat, you know me better than that.

Don't look at me, I ain't no pansy-ass bitch.

That's the third one of these I've seen in a week, man.

You guys better start keeping your eyes peeled

for whatever the fuck goes on in the hood,

'cause this shit right here? It don't work, homie.

Man, give me that can, man.

Let's cross this out already, dawg.

Shit.

Man, its' gotta be some girl shit, man.

Some pink shit on our walls?

Hell, no. I'm putting Fatcap up on this bitch.

Yo! What the fuck are you lame dicks doing?

Don't go crossing out my shit.

You paint on that, that's like painting on me.

You must have a set of bowling balls

in between your legs, bitch,

coming around here, pissing on our block.

[scoffing] Your block?

Yeah, my block, bitch.

That's right. Oh, Fatcap?

Oh, she can read, dawg. You saw that?

And you must be "Streako"?

That's me.

As in streak of shit running out your ass?

Bitch, you crazy or just fucking stupid?

I'm gonna go with stupid, homie.

Yeah, stupid.

Hey, yo, man, cut her loose.

She's just a shorty.

She ain't got nothing to do with--

Shut your hood rat ass up, bitch,

and get your ass back in line. You big tag bangers,

you think you're so tough pushing girls around, huh?

Get ready to protect your shit!

Not the balls! Oh!

Forget it. I'd need a GPS in my boot

to find that chocolate chip you call a dick.

Ooh! [chuckling]

[all chuckling]

She got jokes, homie. Yeah, I know.

Hey, speaking of what's cracking, homie--

I know what's up. That's right.

We got jokes too, huh?

Yeah.[gasping]

You want to get smoked?

Huh? Is that what you want?

I've been this close before.

So do what you gotta do to prove your manhood.

I will knock out your fucking teeth, bitch,

and watch you eat applesauce

the rest of your life, you understand?

Someone should show you what's what.

Only wish it could be me! Bitch!

Better shut your fucking hole.

Open yours, prick! Aah, my eyes!

Shit! Fuck.

Get this bitch, man, come on!

♪ We clownin' out ♪

♪ I'll show you how to heel to the toe with it ♪

♪ Wilding out with the child about ♪

♪ You hear the sound ♪ Come on, get that bitch!

♪ The beat is in my body and I roll with it ♪

♪ Drop, pop, squawk it ♪ ♪ We clownin' out ♪

♪ I'll show you how to heel to the toe with it ♪

Get back here, now!

♪ Wilding out with the child about ♪

♪ You hear the sound ♪

♪ I feel it in my body so I roll with it ♪

♪ Drop, pop, squawk and roll with it ♪

♪ I wave my hands in the air ♪

♪ Don't watch, get yourself out of here ♪

[indistinct shouting]

This way, come on!

♪ Really don't know me Stop cruisin' ♪

♪ Everybody getting juiced when they see me ♪

♪ Unh, they put my face up on the TV ♪

Aah! Hush.

[groaning] Hush.

It looks like I caught myself a pretty little flower.

Whoa.

You gonna kill me, or let your breath do it?

If you'd rather be with your gangster friends,

I'll happily throw you back.

Crazy man, I mean it. Let me go-- Unh!

[chuckling]

[laughing]

Cut me loose, and I'll make-- I'll make your day.

I'll let you cop a feel.

[laughing]

I can take anything I want.

But there's only one little

part of you that I need.

The streets, young lady, cry out for a woman's touch.

[whimpering] Hey, what the hell?

Perhaps, by your soft, little hand.

[echoing distorted laughter, screaming]

Woman: Get your filthy, crack ass out of here!

Man: I told you, man! I told you, man!

[gunshot] [girl screaming]

[screaming]

Mommy!

See, life ain't fair.

Bye-bye, baby.

[gunshot]

Posie.

[crying]

Awake, and behold the beauty

of the power that you now carry.

[laughing]

Tattooist: The power to give life is a great responsibility.

But the power to take it is even greater.

Without compassion, you become no better

than those whose fates you seal.

Damn, that's tight.

♪♪

♪ Why don't ya pop it on the floor? ♪

♪ Girl, shake that shit ♪

♪ Turn around, dip it low ♪

♪ Girl, shake that shit ♪

♪ Let your knees touch your chest ♪

♪ While you shake that shit ♪

♪ Shake it, shake it ♪ ♪ Shake that shit ♪

♪ Shake that shit ♪

There you go, girl. Don't be shy.

Hell, no, that don't look shy to me. Shit.

Man, why this motherfucker gettin' action and shit,

we right here with our dick

in our motherfucking hands, huh?

♪ Might break this shit ♪

Hell, no! I'm getting mine.

Fuck that.

I'm about to go mess with this lick over here.

♪ From the arch of my back ♪

Hell, yeah. What's up, girl?

Let a homeboy get a lick,

you know what I'm saying? I go full contact

for top dollar.

Check that shit out. What's up?

♪ Now all the ladies in the place ♪

♪ With style and grace ♪ A-ha!

♪ Small waist, big booties, with the pretty face ♪

♪ I love it how you wizzork ♪

♪ Tight mini-skizzort ♪

♪ Do it till it hizzurt ♪

♪ Invited to the chizzurch ♪

♪ Tell all your frizzeinds ♪

♪ That Dogg's in the movie ♪

♪ I bet $100 that they all want to do me ♪

♪ Foxx is a cutie, better yet, a beauty ♪

♪ Rolling with the house, yours truly ♪

♪ Can I get a shot for the whistle ♪

[muted shrieking ♪ Before the bar clizzoses ♪

That's right, girl. Doin' all right, girl.

You know what I mean? [muted shrieking]

♪ Two for the money and one for the shizzow ♪

♪ Keep it on the low, here we go ♪

♪ Here we gizzow ♪

♪ Why don't ya pop it on the floor? ♪

♪ Girl, shake that shit. Turn around ♪

The fuck you trying to do, huh?

Ah! Unh!

Wanted to fuck with me, huh?

No.

I like that your mouth is all wet and slippery,

'cause now daddy's gonna slip something in real nice.

[chuckling] Think I'm fucking around?

That's right.

Fucking swap meet shit!

Fuck!

[gunshot] Unh.

[screaming]

[grunting] Oh, fuck.

[whimpering]

[gurgling]

[gun clatters to floor]

[screaming]

[church bell ringing]

[church bell ringing]

Woman: Child, come on in here.

Pastor Charlie wants to see you.

Ooh, where you get that nasty thing from?

Oh, you like it, Miss Willows?

It was a gift. From Satan.

He gave it to me for finger flicking my private parts

during last week's sermon. [gasping]

[woman crying]

At times like these, we need to be strong for the living.

Pray, you'll find that strength, I promise.

I'll see you both tomorrow. Come on.

I noticed the mural that

you promised me on the outside wall

hasn't been started.

I've been busy trying to stay alive out there.

Tell me why I should risk

my behind letting you bunk here

if I can't trust you to honor a simple agreement.

You're a talented artist, Posie.

I have all the faith

in the world that you'll make us proud.

I'm trying.

Seriously, those streets are filled

with freaks and assholes.

Then stay here and be safe with us.

Work on the mural.

We just want what's best for you.

What were those folks crying about

out there, anyway?

Their son, Francis, died yesterday.

And only 20.

Horrible.

What happened?

Apparently, the young man had a handgun

stuffed in his pants, and had a terrible accident.

He unloaded on his own load?

[chuckling] Ain't that a bitch?

Posie, please.

What was his name?

Francis.

His nickname was, um... [snapping]

Fatcap. Fatcap.

Fatcap?

[ominous music]

♪♪

An accident, huh?

[screaming]

[gunshot]

You see, baby girl?

It's just like your finger paints.

[gun cocking] [gunshot]

♪ Hey ♪

♪ You gotta get up out of here, man ♪

♪ What, it's my way or the highway ♪

♪ Hey. Look ♪

Sister too, actually.

Yeah? [sighing]

Come on, that's like three days from now.

Don't worry. This is cool.

♪ Sprint like a running back ♪

♪ Or you can act bad ♪

♪ But you ain't wanting that ♪

♪ Make like a tree and leave ♪ ♪ Get ghost ♪

♪ Make like a chip, man ♪

You want to come?

No, I'm gonna finish this and go get a 40.

All right, I'll just come with you, then.

No, why don't you go get us next down at the court, man.

I'll be there in a minute.

You sure? Yeah.

Go work on your shot.

All right. ♪ 'Cause we in here ♪

♪ You have outstayed your welcome ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ He ain't got to say it, you're welcome ♪

♪ He roll with a clique but they hardly help him ♪

♪ Come on ♪ ♪ Must be the pain ♪

♪ That his father choked him ♪

♪ Look, Jack, hit the road ♪

♪ He ain't coming back ♪ ♪ No more ♪

[gun cocking] ♪ Look, Jack, hit the road ♪

♪ He ain't coming back ♪ ♪ No more, no more ♪

♪ It's time for you to sprint like a running back ♪

♪ Or you can act bad, but you ain't wanting that ♪

Ah. ♪ Make like a tree and leave ♪

♪ Get ghost ♪ ♪ Make like a chip, man, dip ♪

Streak of shit.

[muted shrieking]

[muted shrieking]

[gunshots]

[woman screaming]

[woman screaming]

Yo, was that shooting I heard?

Next time, that bitch'll reach for the cash quicker.

Look what I got right here, man.

I don't want that money.

Do you want to end up like Fat, huh?

I mean, why didn't you tell me?

I could have looked out for you or something.

No, I look out for you!

You're too smart

to be caught up in this bullshit, man.

Worry about yourself.

Fuck!

[zipper unzipping]

Yo, Fatcap.

This is for you, homie.

I miss you, dawg.

Hey, yo, the heat. Let's bust.

[distant siren wailing]

What a waste...

of beer.

Ah, Streako.

All right, bitches. Who's next?

♪ Hey, hey. Okay, yeah ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ These chumps underestimate my style ♪

Here, Nibby, Nibby.

♪ Oh, my God, I think I'ma have to act wild ♪

♪ Brothers underestimate my profile ♪

♪ Now I got to show them why I'm locked out ♪

♪ Way too punk, and the party's for you ♪

♪ But you're in your crew, man, ready to duel ♪

♪ Brothers get slain it's you or you ♪

♪ Or him, or her, I'm gonna do my due ♪

♪ Set, crunk, crunk, crunk ♪

♪ Watch my body get crazy ♪

♪ Everybody knows that what you do just don't amaze me ♪

♪ Baby, look at me, people think I'm crazy ♪

[neck cracking]

♪ And if you ever test ♪

♪ I'll leave you laying with the daisies ♪

♪ Hey ♪ ♪ We go a little high ♪

[line ringing] ♪ Go with the high now ♪

[echoing wailing]

[line ringing] ♪♪

[muted shrieking]

[line ringing]

[grunting]

Ow. Man.

[muted shrieking]

[line ringing] [gurgling]

[beeping] Recording: We're sorry.

Your call cannot be completed as dialed.

Please hang--

[beeping] Recording: We're sorry.

Your call cannot be completed as dialed.

Please check the number and dial again.

♪ Now he's waiting for you ♪

♪ There goes the neighborhood ♪

♪ There-- there-- there goes the-- ♪

♪♪

♪ There goes the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the place where all the creatures meet ♪

♪ The last building on the left ♪

♪ On the dead end street ♪

♪ You'll find skeleton bones ♪

♪ Abandoned homes ♪

♪ It's the Hood of Horrors, nigga, it's on ♪

♪ Ring around the rosie ♪

♪ Walls full of Posie ♪

♪ She had the power for the hour ♪

♪ But she chose the wrong way ♪

♪ Would you say, hey, she didn't do it right ♪

♪ Now tonight's tonight ♪

♪ And death is in sight ♪

♪ And you just might, 'cause this light ♪

♪ Fright night, with a little more bite ♪

♪ I'm kicking back, sitting on my phone ♪

♪ Fire behind me, murder, murder, blind me ♪

♪ Half Pint beside me ♪ What up?

♪ My comrade, my homie ♪

♪ With two slanks that'll take and gank anybody for me ♪

♪ I'm the crypt keeper, yeah, the grim reaper ♪

♪ You won't even see me-- ♪

Ah! Unh.

A half-dozen vandals, wiped off the map.

And here you are, carrying on their legacy.

What am I to do with you?

Then why did you give me the power?

I thought you needed help cleaning up the streets.

Look at this perfect canvas.

What more could an artist want

than to make flowers grow

in this forsaken place.

You could have broken the cycle,

but instead, you made the wheel spin even faster.

Time to join the gang, Miss Posie.

[sizzling]

[growling]

Night of the living shitbags.

[growling]

Oh, shit! [laughing]

Time's up. [growling]

Where you going, huh?

[grunting]

Posie: No!

[screaming] Get back there!

[screaming] No!

Ow! Help! Somebody help!

Tap this bitch. [screaming]

[laughing]

My, my, my.

Now that's life imitating art.

Thank you all for your presence here today.

Since we've had so much loss

in our community recently,

it truly touches my heart

to have such a turnout.

Life, indeed, does go on!

[applause]

Recently, I had the pleasure of working with a young lady--

many of you know her-- Posie Santana.

Now, it seems,

she's gone off to start

a new chapter, somewhere.

But Posie will be with us forever...

in spirit...

and through her art.

[applause]

♪ I got to move on ♪

♪ Move on ♪

♪ Move on ♪

♪ Moving on ♪

♪ I've got to move on ♪

♪ I've got to move on ♪

♪ This is best for me ♪ [mural squishing]

♪ I tried so hard ♪

♪ But it just cannot be ♪

Well, well, well.

Look at Posie now.

Pretty as a picture.

In fact, bitch is a picture.

You know, my mama says,

it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

[squishing, tearing]

Damn!

[rock music]

♪♪

♪ I'm a good ol' boy from the good ol' days ♪

♪ Whiskey in my glass ♪

♪ If you don't like my rebel ways ♪

♪ You can kiss my redneck ass ♪

[dog yipping]

[dog yipping]

God damn it.

Did you sign us up

for some sort of home makeover reality show, baby?

You see me laughing, sweet pea?

[dog yipping]

Just don't make eye contact.

They sense fear. [gunshot]

Devon: Well, ain't that some shit.

If the scumlords come to town,

then urban renewal can't be far behind.

So spark 'em if you got 'em.

And lock up your sheep.

'Cause, brothers and sisters...

there goes the motherfuckin' neighborhood.

[chatter, laughter]

Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Howdy! [door closing]

My name's Tex.

Tex Woods, Jr.

Uh, as y'all know, my daddy,

Colonel Tex Woods, Sr.,

y'all's former commanding officer,

recently found his place...

with the Lord. [dog whimpering]

So... how much do we get?

Well, it's not quite that simple, Miss.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You mean, he actually expects us

to live in some ghetto rat trap with a bunch of...

colored folks? [dog growling]

These are decorated war heroes.

And, yes, your father was quite adamant

about your spending one year with them

before you received your inheritance.

He thought that it might help you fill in some of your...

character gaps.

[chuckling]

And what if I say no?

Well, then he's left instructions for me

to deed the property, and all of your money,

to the soldiers that he served with.

Well, shit, son!

That's over my dead body.

Well, son,

after these gentlemen pass on,

the property will be your possession solely.

Anyway...

[spitting]

it was my daddy's dying wish that I should spend some

quality time learning honor and integrity

from this decorated group of Vietnam vets.

So...

looks like Tiffany and me'll

be bunking with y'all for a while.

And from the looks of this place,

it could use some freshening up.

[slapping] Oh!

Gee whiz, the things a young couple

will do for money.

Well... hello, sir.

I'm Roscoe Lee.

[dog growling]

It's a pleasure to have you come to our home.

I was your daddy's First Lieutenant.

On behalf of Sergeant Jackson,

Corporal Stevens, Corporal Vance,

and the Fighting 88, it's an honor.

Tex, Sr. was a great man.

He made it his charge to look after the men

who never had time for families of their own.

Yep. [spitting]

He was a God damn saint, wasn't he?

Yee-ha!

Think I'm a loser?

You think you can shut me out,

but you got another think coming.

Fuck you, Daddy!

Fuck you!

Unh!

[groaning]

Damn.

Now, seems like there's a place up top

where we can stay. I saw it outside.

Tha-- that room with the double windows there,

Ro-- Ro-- uh, Rochester?

Is that right? Roscoe.

Right, "Rothco." Tell you what,

why don't you have one of your boys

take our bags up for us, huh?

[clicking tongue] [sighing]

Actually, that's my room.

Yeah, well, hate to pull rank

on you there, Lieutenant,

but, um, the son of a Colonel

needs his privacy, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, you understand.

Y'all can bunk together for a while.

It'll be like old times.

For the lady's sake, yes, sir.

[slapping] Oh!

Get up there. Daddy.

[squealing, laughing] [growling]

Tiffany: Whoo-hoo!

Well, haven't Bullet here in spirit

will almost make this place bearable.

Chop, chop.

Well, I guess that's it.

Hey. [coin jingling]

Don't spend it all in one place, all right?

[glass breaking] [gasping] Holy--

Forget about it.

You know, um, seeing those sad old men

being put out for ourconvenience,

it just-- it really makes me feel so...

hot, baby!

Do me, Elvis-style!

What you want?

Young Elvis? Or the King?

I want the Hound Doggy Special, baby!

You got it.Whoo!

You gonna brand me, honey?

Oh, you know it.

[whip cracking]

There you go. Yeah!

What-- what, now he-- he--

he giving me quarters.

Flipping it. Like I'm a, what?

A bellhop or something.

[muffled slapping] Tiffany: Whoo!

[Tex laughing] Tiffany: Bring it on, big Daddy.

Tex: Get it, girl!

Come on, you big stallion. [laughter]

[slapping] Show Mama what you're made of.

Oh, come on, man. The-- there's no way he's--

that boy is Tex Woods's son.

Tiffany: Whoo-hoo! Yeah, baby!

Well, one thing is certain.

Without Tex Woods, Sr., none of us would even be here.

He saved our lives, and we owe him.

Now, he wants us to teach his son honor

and integrity. That's our mission.

Tex: Lay down.

And we will lead by example.

[loud thudding]

Boom, boom, boom! Crown me! [laughing]

Uh, who says old men ain't got skills, huh?

Oh, Lord. [radio playing, laughter]

Whoo! Oh!

♪ You know that nothing feels like the real thing ♪

Whoo!

[all joking, laughing]

Whoo! [laughter]

Oh!

Since when did y'all turn this place into a disco?

[laughing]

Let me help you with that coat.

Thank you, Vance. There you go.

Very good.

And these. [bags rustling]

♪ Miss Wanda's in the house ♪

None of y'all gonna ask a lady to dance?

Damn! Where's our man?

I must be losing my touch!

Aw. ♪ Wonderful Wanda ♪

Boy, you ain't lost nothing

but the ability to run away from me.

[laughing] [radio playing]

♪ Oh, baby ♪ Here we go!

♪ Oh, baby ♪ Ah? Yeah!

♪ Words are unspoken ♪

♪ Leads to promises broken instead ♪

Shake it, don't break it, baby.

All right.

[laughing]

♪ You said that someday, someway ♪

Ooh, ooh!

[dog whimpering]

Ooh, ooh! Check that out. Huh?

Roger Arcadia.

♪ I don't need nobody ♪ How about that? [laughing]

Y'all are having a good old spiritual.

♪ I love you more than you love yourself ♪

Hey...

you must be Wanda.

♪ Baby ♪

Wanda, this is Colonel Woods's son, Tex, Jr.

He and Miss Tiffany will be staying

with us for a while. Oh.

Pleased to meet you.

I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

[hissing] Ooh.

Mmm.

[kissing]

Hmm. [chuckling]

That's a beautiful ring.

[music stops]

Well, you know what they say--

One man's loss is another woman's gain.

[giggling] [dog yipping]

All right, well, uh...

we should have some lunch ready in just a moment.

Mr. Woods.

Mm! Brown sugar, huh?

All right, I've had my accountant

do a detailed analysis of y'all's household budget.

And despite the paltry size of y'all's monthly pension checks,

it looks like you boys have been living quite high on the hog.

Mm-hmm. "High on the hog"?

We've been spending the same amount

each month since we retired.

Now, now, now.

You're making my point for me, "Rodney."

Adjusting for inflation and various other factors,

including utility costs, it appears as though

my daddy was over-subsidizing this place

without his accountant knowing it.

In fact, as I see it, each one of y'all owes me...

$3,400.22.

[cash register dinging] [dog yipping]

That's right. That's outrageous.

My point exactly, "Dexter."

So, in order to make what y'all

would refer to as restitution,

we'll not only be cutting back on your groceries,

but I will be creating a household impound account

into which y'all will be signing over your pension checks

until I am made whole.

You already are whole.

You are an asshole. [gasping]

Well, if you don't like it,

you can just roll right along

and find another place, how about that?

[giggling]

But, lucky for y'all, Tiffany has come up with

a brilliant idea. Tell 'em, hush puppy.

Y'all good at construction stuff?

Miss, you're talking to a room

full of former carpenters.

[gasping] Peachy!

We are going to expand the upstairs,

just a scooch, 'cause your room

is just a little too crampy now, "Rolo."

I'd like to take down a couple walls

and brighten the place up a bit.

[baby voice] You know, 'cause it is always good

to upgrade, huh, Pootie?

Mwah. Oh, yes.

[regular voice] So, we are going to turn the entire top floor

into a suite. [laughing]

Ain't that a great idea, huh?

[slapping]Oh!

A suite, for both of us.

Those are our rooms!

Well, now, I'm sure that my daddy,

God rest his soul,

would appreciate you pitching in a little bit.

And, the good news is, you'll all be getting

$5/hour taken off your debt.

That's not even minimum wage.

Well, now, considering that you're retired,

you will be moving at about

half the pace you used to. Mm-hmm.

Shit for brains! I'm gonna tear you a--

[all shouting]

[coughing]

Take it easy. Take it easy.

You better lay off those menthols, old boy.

Huh? Besides...

Do y'all good to get a little work under your belt

instead of sitting around, wasting away.

What y'all think you're gonna do

when the terrorists come, huh?

Ever thought about that? Or...

if y'all aren't happy with the terms

of our agreement, we could always consider

letting Miss Wanda and all her

tasty little treats go bye-bye.

I don't even believe this.

We'll do it.

Yee-haw!

♪ We be rolling and riding ♪

♪ Hustling and striving ♪

♪ Struggling, surviving ♪

♪ Just trying to stay up ♪

♪ No sleep, gotta stay up ♪

♪ Can't sleep, gotta stay up ♪

♪ No sleep, gotta wake up ♪

♪ My players, we gotta stay up ♪

♪ We be rolling and riding ♪

♪ Hustling and striving ♪

♪ Struggling, surviving ♪

♪ Just trying to stay up ♪

♪ No sleep, gotta stay up ♪

♪ Can't sleep, gotta stay up ♪

♪ Won't sleep, gotta wake up ♪

♪ My players, we gotta stay up ♪

♪♪

I mean, I feel like a pussy, painting our walls pink.

If I go nose-to-nose with that bastard,

or file a complaint with the V.A.,

we'd all be split up.

And I'd rather die, Jackson, in it

than to lose us.

Now, we always said we'd go out as men.

As a unit.

Besides, where would we end up if we weren't here?

[exhaling]

I won't last five minutes out there.

None of us would.

Roscoe: Then we've just got to toughen up.

Now, they're testing us.

But we've been through a lot of rough waters

in the years.

We've just got to wait 'em out.

Then we'll be rid of them for good.

Hey!

Get the hell out of here, before I call the sheriff.

Go! Get!

Oh, hey, and you left your hat, whi--

which is mine now. So, get the hell outta--

oh, yeah, put that right there, boy.

All right.

It is finally...

starting to feel a little bit like home.

[laughing]

Yeah.

Raah!

I made this for y'all.

Ooh. Oh, look at that.

Oh! Look at that.

♪ For beautiful ♪

all: ♪ For spacious skies ♪

♪ For amber waves of grain ♪

♪ For purple mountain majesties ♪

[Tex burping]

♪ Above the fruited plain ♪

[laughing] Oh, boys.

I have got some outstanding news.

You're moving?

[laughing]

No, but that was a good one.

Y'all got a lot of jokes in the hood, huh?

And look at that. Oh, what a cake.

Man...

nothing like a little Fourth of July celebration

so our war heroes can pat themselves on the back.

[slapping]

We were simply serving our country, young man.

You would have done the same thing.

[laughing] Hell, no!

No, Daddy wanted to send me off

to the Marines in time for the Gulf War...

[mouth full] but, I bribed my way

into the Texas National Guard.

Figures.

I'd like to propose a toast.

To the best C.O. the sole survivors

of Charlie Company, 2nd Platoon--

the fighting 88-- ever had.

Tex Woods. [all agreeing]

Hey...

believe me when I say, "Rolfstein,"

the pleasure's all mine.

I was referring to your father.

Son, I will skull fuck you.

I beg your pardon?

I need to have words with Miss Wanda.

About what?

No, hey. Uh, it's okay.

Snap, doggies.

I can handle this.

[sighing]

That dress...

that's da-- [burping]

dated, in a sexy kind of way.

[burping]

It's old school, but the men like it.

Well, at least we agree on something.

Mr. Woods, this place is going to hell--

leaky faucets, the heating is out,

and Stevens needs to see a doctor,

not do more construction.

Okay, Nurse. I'll just run along

right now and just take care of that.

And, you need to go back to the old food budget.

The new one simply does not provide enough nutrition

for the men. They are starving to death.

Hmm, well, I'll tell you what.

Idea.

Maybe you and I should go upstairs

and discuss this whole food budget thing.

I think Tiffany should be in on the conversation.

She handles the books.

That ain't happening.

All right. I guess we'll just

have to reconsider this whole food budget thing.

[crunching]

All right?

Look who came to talk to us, honey.

Oh.

Well, you're much prettier when you're smiling.

[door closing]

None of y'all are gonna be smiling,

because I'm gonna call V.A. services

and tell them the shit you're trying to pull!

What are you talking about?

Stevens is dying!

I told you that I'd get a doctor

as long as you play nice.

Now, why don't you just come on over here

and get comfy with us?

And we'll discuss this like adults.

Yeah.Mm-hmm.

Ah! Oh!

Tiffany: Yes! [giggling] Tex: Ah.

[slapping]Whoo!

Oh!Yeah!

Keep it up!

You'll do time for attempted rape!

And give these guys their place back.

You heard her?

Oh!

You want me to go to jail?

Hell, no!

Better get used to it.

Ain't no manicures in jail, bitch!

Oh, no, you didn't!

Oh, yes, she did. [grunting]

[struggling]

Thank-- thank you for the cake!

Hey, you all right?

Obviously, she's not.

That son of a-- [coughing]

Good girl, baby.

Now it's time for a poopie from my Pootie.

Come on. Come on, let's go.

[horns honking] Come on.

[horns honking, passing]

Stevens: I ain't going back to that V.A.

[wet coughing]

[muffled music playing] [Stevens coughing]

Yo. He's getting worse, man.

I'll be back.

If Wanda couldn't get help, damn it, I will.

[muffled music playing]

[country music playing] Good girl.

Nothing's too good for my Pootie.

[knocking at door] What?

Look, we need to talk about--

Hey, "Rhonda," which one do you like?

The white one, or...

the black?

What?

I don't know, man. That one.

Why, 'cause it's black?

[scoffing]

Are you the meanest motherfucker

that ever lived, or just the dumbest?

We have a serious problem.

Stevens is bad, and he's getting worse.

[dog yipping]

[giggling] So silly.

Is that caviar? [dog yipping]

Oh, you like it?

It's Pootie's favorite.

Are you two out of your mind?

You're up here feeding your dog caviar,

and you're starving us?

Now, you've got money saved.

Go get yourself some ribs.

You cheap piece of shit! [dog yipping]

Look, if anything happens to Stevens,

I swear to God, I-- You'll what?

Huh? [dog yipping, growling]

Don't go trying to be the big man.

Or you'll end up just like my daddy-- uh...

What I meant to say was that--

Damn it!

I'm the one in charge here!

All right?

You keep giving me lip and you'll all be sorry.

You hear me?

[grunting]

That's what I thought.

Your day will come.

[mocking] Well-- well-- well, okay, boss!

[clapping] Mammy!

[chuckling]

Bitch is eating caviar and we're starving to death.

I know you got some decent food here somewhere.

Ah. I knew it!

Oh.

[gasping]

He's dead.

Men...

it's time for battle.

[dog yipping, growling]

♪ Where did you come from? Where did you go? ♪

♪ Where did you come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? ♪

♪ If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe ♪

♪ I'd been married a long time ago ♪

♪ Where did you come from? Where did you go? ♪

I know you were upset when Daddy made us live here,

hush puppy, but...

I'm sure he did us a favor.

The way you got this place fixed up,

whew, it is looking real crisp.

Thanks. As soon as we run those boys off,

we'll flip this place and make a killing.

[grunting]

[knocking at door]

Come back later!

[knocking at door] Roscoe: I need a word with you.

God damn it, can't you come back later?

I'm close to... something here.

Hey, Junior!

Damn it! [dog yipping]

What are y'all--

This is for Stevens.

[grunting]

[gasping]

This is for Wanda.

Unh!

[whimpering]

This... is for your dad.

Unh! Ah!

This... Ah.

Oh, my God!

Is 'cause you're a prick.

Aah! [groaning]

Unh!

[dog whimpering] Stop it!

[distorted echoes]

[distorted growling]

[distorted growling]

[groaning]

What the--

What the hell's going on?

Roscoe: We learned about water torture in 'Nam, baby.

See ya in a couple days.

Jackson: See ya. Vance: Bye-bye.

[panting] No!

Roscoe: ♪ I don't know, but it's been said ♪

Men: ♪ I don't know but it's been said ♪

Roscoe: ♪ Redneck prick is gonna end up dead ♪

Men: ♪ Redneck prick is gonna end up dead ♪

All: ♪ Sound off, one, two, three, four-- one, two!

[dog yipping] [farting]

Tiffy?

[groaning] Aw.

Poor little Pootie

hasn't eaten in days on account of

we've been feeding Miss Tiffany all that

fancy caviar he likes. [farting]

Nasty, salty little fish eggs you deemed

more valuable than Wanda and Stevens's lives.

Baby... untie me. [farting]

[dog yipping]

Sorry.

The salt is very bloating.

Son, your daddy wanted us

to teach you honor and integrity.

Life is full of choices, Junior.

Time for yours.

Which one of y'all

ain't gonna ship out of this room alive?

You, or Miss Scarlett here?

Baby.

[farting]

Uh... Christ's sakes, you wimp.

I mean, they're just a bunch of old coons.

Well, baby, you've kind of let yourself go

a little bit, all right?

[farting]

Ugh. [dog yipping]

H-- her. Her.

Ah! [farting]

Ugh. Just what I would expect

from a true Southern gentleman like yourself.

Well, you heard the man.

She still looks hungry.

♪ Back in Dixie ♪

Well, now.

♪ They are better known ♪

[groaning] Ma'am...

I'm sorry, but your man didn't turn out

to be your knight in shining armor.

[struggling, farting]

[muffled shouting]

[farting] [muffled] No. Oh, no!

Bon appetit. [muffled] No, no.

[pump whirring]

♪ You think you're better than ♪

♪ Any other man ♪

♪ Death coming back ♪

♪ I guess it's something ♪

♪ You don't understand ♪ [dog yipping]

♪ Look at your life It ain't worth fixing ♪

♪ There ain't no way in hell that you're going back ♪

♪ And this'll happen to you ♪

♪ Yeah, sucker, you gonna meet your maker ♪

[groaning] ♪ Get your red neck cut ♪

Ooh. ♪ Then I'll beat your face up ♪

[groaning] ♪ Even after I kill you ♪

[groaning] ♪ I'll be whipping your ass ♪

[farting, rumbling]

Roscoe: Oh!

Ugh.

Anybody for some "Tiffy Pop"?

It's salty.

It's real salty. [dog yipping]

[dog whining]

Come and get it.

Dinner time.

That's what I call irony

and gluttony all rolled into one messy package.

Okay. All right, so-- so that's it.

You're gonna let me go now, right?

Oh, yes. You will leave this room alive.

I gave you my word. That's honor.

[chuckling] The room?

It is time to end you.

Oh, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait, wait, hold on!

Hold-- wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Wait!

Hold on!

[sobbing] Don't kill me.

Wait, stop. Stop, hold on. Okay.

All right, now, I'm gonna--

I'm gonna change. I swear to God, I will.

I-- I-- I'm gonna turn on-- over a new leaf,

and I'm-- I'm gonna change, "Remus."

The name's Roscoe.

Aah!

Bon voyage.

Aah!

Yeah.

That's my kind of redneck.

And they were almost...

paid off.

[groaning]

[doors sliding open]

[footsteps approaching]

[grunting]

Ow, ow, ow. Hey, hey.

Hey, stop that!

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Where you taking me?

[squishing]

Half Pint: Is that it?

Devon: We've got room for one more.

[hip-hop beat playing]

[Jackson laughing]

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year.

Isn't it, Pootie? [dog growling]

[knocking at door]

What the heck's her problem?

Must be the new super. Pootie doesn't like him.

[dog yipping] Hmm?

This is beautiful, man.

Flatscreen TV, CD players.

[dog yipping]

Oh, what a nice doggy.

[kissing noises] [dog growling]

Doggy want a biscuit, huh? [dog yipping, growling]

[demonic voice] Have a biscuit.

[gunshot]

This is lovely, Roscoe.

Y'all got it going on up in here.

Now that you done upgraded the crib,

you got to abide by our rules.

Absolutely no dogs allowed.

Present company excluded, of course.

How about a little punch?

Nah, I don't smoke that brand.

Gotta go.

Gotta go! Hold on, little homie.

You gotta go right now?

Right now!

Go ahead.

[retching] Yeah.

Now that's what I'm talkin' about.

That ought to whack you old grunts

back to the psychedelic shack.

Talk about your "Apocalypse Now,"

check this shit out.

Put your hands in the air!

Money out of the register, now!

[gunshot]

[heart beating]

[music crescendoing]

[glass breaking]

[gunshot]

Man: G-O-D, you remember me?

I've been praying to you as long as I can remember.

So, I need you to listen up...

'cause I think I found my calling.

[distant bell ringing]

I promise you, I'll live to serve,

and serve to live.

But I'm down for whatever.

And I'll do more than just try.

This is SOD talking to you, baby--

succeed or die.

And that's how bad I want it.

Amen.

Yo, man, my bad.

That's my ball. Can I get that?

Are you crazy?

Yo, this is a sign from God.

I'm gonna be a huge rap star someday.

What, you an MC? [chuckling]

Today's your lucky day, man.

I got the bangin' beats.

Big man like you got some big flow?

Come on, man.

About time I caught a break.

You just did!

You know, I think this was God's plan

for us to meet, for real.

So, I want to hear your stuff.

What do you-- what do you go by?

Quon, dawg. You?

I'm SOD!

♪ The magic touch, Starsky and Hutch ♪

♪♪

Hmm.

♪ The place with the mic and I'm nice with the hands ♪

♪ Like he said, the magic man ♪

♪ We're spitting the truth up in the booth ♪

♪ That's how we do it. We a two-team ♪

♪ Like Dre and Snoop ♪

Oh!

It's gonna happen.

The streets are leading to speak the truth,

and them record labels... they're gonna follow.

We're the real motherfucking thing.

♪ Guarantee when I'm done ♪

♪ You're gonna put the crown down ♪

♪ I'm gonna take it back and I'm gonna serve it on mine ♪

♪ Guaranteed when you see me ♪

♪ It's like pressing rewind ♪

♪ I could say it one time but you won't get it ♪

♪ It's too slick ♪

♪ And if you don't, well, then fuck it ♪

♪ You can get nicked ♪

♪ That's how I do it, I keep it rugged ♪

♪ If you don't like it, I give you the finger ♪

♪ Then I say, well, then fuck it ♪

You know, the streets is feeling y'all.

So, succeed right now, motherfuckers.

♪♪

Rap and R&B's hottest night is in full effect.

This is the place where stars are born,

where the "Haves" mix it up

with the "Have It Alls,"

and try to avoid the "Have Nots."

Method Man is in the building!

[Method Man laughing]

What's going on? Meth, Meth, you was

a struggling rapper once upon a time.

Now, answer me this-- who do you think has

the inside track on winning it all tonight?

To go with one, I'd have to pick your boy, SOD.

Oh, please, believe it. The kid's fearless, man.

Whew.

He definitely gonna be on the first single,

and then the first video off the new album.

The boy... Wow.

Just ain't as tight as me.

Now, that's a lot of praise

coming from a G like yourself.

I mean, what you really got poppin', Meth?

Well, you know, I got the album...

Mm-hmm.

Which will be followed by the DVD.

You heard that.

Which will be followed by the album/DVD combo,

"When Baby Mamas Attack." That's gangsta.

Hey, look here, I'm getting all your shit.

I'll see you on the inside.

That's cool. One love.

Church, is that my main man, SOD, over there?

Cameras on me, then we'll just pull it up.

So fresh and so clean. SOD and his entourage stepping

out of a black limousine.

What up, what up? SOD, SOD.

Come on, holler at me, nephew.

Holler at me. Let me get that interview from you.

Holler at you when I win it.

[softly hissing]

I've been peeping this kid out for a long while.

He had a meteoric rise this year.

So blinding, makes you wonder

if some sort of higher power had his back.

Now, take it from a brother like me

that's been around the block,

kings and roosters who crow too loudly

have one thing in common--

someone's gonna...

[laughing]

[flaring]

[chuckling]

Come on, ladies. That's our cue.

You ladies work the front

while I work the back. You cool?

Yeah, I can work with that.

Lamar Odom: L.A., what's popping?

[cheering and applause]

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, yo, my man, Lam--

It's--Damn.

So, what you doing?

Oh, you-- oh, you're bugging. [laughter and applause]

You're bugging.

That's better. Anyway...

we're here to celebrate

the freshest young baller in rap today.

[zipper unzipping]

With stardom, it's no joke.

It's hard to age gracefully in this game

and still have game. Listen up.

Lamar on radio: My man, Dre.

This here's one cautionary tale.

One for the hard heads.

Lamar: And my man, S-O-D.

Showtime.

And the, uh, Breakthrough Solo Rap Artist of the Year...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is...

Let's see. Let's see, what's up?

S... To the O!

[cheering and applause] Yes.

To the D! SOD!

Come up here and get your jolly walk, son, yeah!

♪ It's the only time you seen this pride ♪

♪ I know you don't know ♪ [hissing]

♪ But your spirit, your soul ♪

First of all,

I'd like to thank G-O-D.

And I'd like to thank, uh...

I'd like to thank my mom.

I'd like to thank my old partner, Quon.

Rest in peace.

'Cause without y'all, I would not be here today!

[knocking] Ladies, time to get your

raggedy asses back out on the street.

You can only enjoy the high life for so long.

You got to know when to hold 'em,

and when to fold 'em.

SOD: Yeah, yeah!

You know how we do, fellas.

It's all good. Hey, yo, SOD!

Yo, you won on the sympathy vote!

Man, back the fuck up, man!

Yo, you ain't nothing without Quon!

What? Yo, get off me!

Yo, man, I'm right!

You're the one who should've died!

Boom, boom! Forget him, forget him!

Forget him, all right? Come on.

It's been a wild ride this year, baby.

It's time to blow off some steam.

Man, what was that guy talkin' about my boy, man?

I loved Quon!

No doubt, brother. No doubt, no doubt.

I need a drink. Bad!

You see that right there?

Yeah, get a good look. A year ago, today,

my man was taken from me.

God spared me.

He gave me Quon...

then he took him away.

I don't know how it works.

Shit. [chuckling]

Get over here. [knocking at door]

Yo, who's that?

Security.

What's up, Jersey? What you want, man?

My supervisor asked me to remind you that smoking

inside a public facility in the state of California

is prohibited by order of statute number 371.

What the hell are you, a robot?

Yo, you and your statutes can eat a dick!

Those rules don't apply to me or my people!

And if your supervisor got a problem with it,

he know where to find me.

Good luck with her.

[all muttering]

"Good luck with her." Jersey, see how I handled him?

I had that motherfucker shook, man.

Forget about that knucklehead.

Yeah!

Everybody, get up. Get up!

Get up, y'all. Come on.

I want to drink a toast out here.

Yeah! To my man, my main man--

No, no, no. To Quon.

[crowd agreeing] Yes, sir.

Quon! Drink up!

[crowd agreeing] Yo!

Ah!

[crowd reacting]

That's how I do things!

Yo, shorty, take your shirt off.

[all muttering]

[knocking at door]

Damn!

Now what? Yo, hey, you guys go back to partying.

I'm gonna handle this. It's what I do.

What, Miss Daisy? Can I help you?

Do we have a problem here?

[scoffing, chuckling]

Yo, where are my boys at?

Oh, they went out the back door

to the post-award show party, Martin.

Where's the back door?

[door slamming, locking]

[distorted echoes]

What-- what is this, some "Punk'd," MTV,

hip-hop "Fear Factor" bullshit?

'Cause if it is, I didn't sign a waiver!

As a matter of fact, you did.

You promised that if God answered your prayers,

you were gonna try to be a better person.

A role model, even.

Oh!

Lady, you read that in a "Player" magazine article.

I mean, I was talking crazy

on account of all the chronic I was smoking!

This is not an article.

Come on, sit down. Take a load off.

I'm not sitting down!

Sit! Oh, damn!

Oh, damn, lady.

Now, let's see. Where were we?

We were, uh...

Oh. The demos!

The demos! I love 'em!

I love-- I fucking love 'em.

We fucking fell out over the demos.

You know what? I blew us up.

I blew us up! Not him!

Let's make a deal, huh? Yeah.

You tell me what you need,

and, uh-- what do you want to call yourselves?

What I want from you guys right now

is a shopping spree for some jewelry.

I need to have some ice.

And a Benz.

500 LS Coupe, black.

Ooh. [laughing] With 22s on it.

It's expensive to be black, man.

Wha-- what can we say? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm hip to that. I'm hip to that, but, um...

ah, you see what you did there?

[laughing] That's funny.

You, eh... you stepped into the wayback machine there, son,

and you took a ride back to 1970.

[laughing]

You didn't get the memo.

See, we're living-- we're living in a--

in a corporate, post-merger world now.

Yo, Q, dawg, these cats is on some bullshit.

I thought you said they want to play ball.

Y'all don't want to fuck with us.

Yo, come on, baby. We out.

Listen, man-- Q!

[snapping] Let's go, man.

[sighing]

Just a second. [grunting]

Listen, man, if it's all the same to you,

I'm gonna stick around a minute,

see if they can work with us, you know?

Man, I-- man, I'm gonna tell you, man.

He's-- the boy is buggin', man.

You know, he's working

on his acting thing, you know?

Uh, who knows, man?

We might even be able to change the name

of the group to-- you know, like, uh...

"Good Cop, Bad Cop" or something, you know?

[laughing]

Yeah, I like that.

I like that. "Good Cop, Bad Cop."

Yeah, that could work.

But the thing is, I don't need that kind of

fucking brain damage on my roster.

Have you ever thought about going solo?

No, man. Why not?

Quon saved your ass there.

He could've sold you out.

He could've gotten his own deal

when they got a taste of your ego.

But, he didn't.

He held firm, and he kept the team together.

Look, lady...

okay, wh-- what do you want?

Let's-- let's-- look, look, look...

let's make a deal, okay?

I got like 10 grand on me, right here, cash.

I'll pay you! All right, look,

I just want to get out of here.

All right? Here, take it.

It's yours. Just let me go.

Yeah, that's right.

You paid before to get out of trouble, didn't you?

What? [moaning on TV]

I'm a big star, huh?

Mm, you're a star.

Say it.

Mm, you're a star.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Say, "big star."

You're a big star.

Yeah.

[both moaning]

Woman: But you didn't stop there, did you?

Dawg, stop sweating it!

That's the best publicity we ever had.

We?

"Statutory rape"?

Yo, you on your own with this one, homie.

What are you, fucking nuts?

Dawg, she said she was 18.

There was grass on the field.

Anybody would've played.

I'll tell you, feel me, that bitch was tight.

I even peed on her.

Nigga, get the fuck off me!

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Chill!

You, calm the fuck down!

What's wrong with you, nigga?

Dawg, what are we doing if it's not

for the bitches and the fame?

Man, just forget that!

I thought we was supposed to be making music!

Get off me, man.

Music? Dawg, we're making it big!

Yeah? Then why is my friend

shrinking before my very eyes?

Why are you acting like we're married, man?

You ain't my bitch!

Nigga, I'll see you onstage. What the fuck?

I got him. I got him.

Jersey, talk to him!

I got him, I got him. Yeah, talk to me!

I'm right here.

Woman: He loved you.

That was why he put up with you.

You know, and-- and-- and then he died, you know?

Okay? He died. It's been hard.

That's obvious.

The publicity about the shooting was so enormous,

you barely had time to mourn him.

Look at me.

What?

But you are a convincing victim.

Quon on TV: Hey, yo, man. Something need to change, dawg.

SOD: Can't believe I lost sight of the team, man.

That-- that's my bad. Whatever, man.

Check it, check it. It's 11:30,

and we're gonna go in here and get our buzz on

like we used to do back in the day

before we'd go to work.

Yo, man, don't you think we should be going to the studio?

Come on, man, it's always time for a cold one.

No, man, I'm cool.

SOD on TV: Q, come on, man.

Man, we gotta celebrate.

Now, would that be for the past, or the future?

We're a team, man.

Friends.

Yeah, friends, man.

That's what I'm talking about.

It's on me. You bet it's on you.

SOD on TV: Hey!

Yo, man, I'm gonna buy a hat, man.

You might as well go ahead and buy a jim hat

while you at it, dawg. Yeah, those, too.

Shit, they gotta be here, man.

Put your hands in the air!

All of you! What the fuck,

am I talking to myself?

Put your hands up! Higher!

Money, out of the register, now!

Okay.

Move!

What the hell are you looking at?

Huh? Huh?

Take your money and your bling,

and put it on the counter!

Fuck that!

I'm not giving you my tags!

Sorry, wrong answer.

Ooh!

[gunshot] Oh!

[echoing gunshot]

It's just like-- you know, I just can't believe

we showed up at that spot right when it got hit.

It's-- it--

I don't know.

Yeah. Just imagine the odds of that.

All right, look, lady, enough games, okay?

Enough!

What is it that you want from me, huh?

[knocking at door]

Ha, the door! Finally.

Come in.

Heard you guys were bootlegging some hot new videos.

I brought one of my favorites.

Can we watch? [laughing]

Somebody must've laced my weed.

[laughing]

No! Just wait.

You'll be tripping soon enough.

[sobbing] Oh, God.

Well, you two have some catching up to do.

Enjoy. [door closing]

Put your hands in the air!

[beeping]

Quon: I notice you...

had your bulletproof vest on that night.

Nice fashion accessory.

Why'd you have it on?

And why should I tell you?

You're just a dream!

Hey! This ain't no fucking dream!

You had it on because you knew.

Where was Jersey that night?

[screaming]

Man, I don't know!

Sorry, wrong answer.

[gunshot]

Why don't we just ask him?

'Cause he's not here!

That bullet hit you in the eyes?

Shh. Unh.

Close... but my hearing's still good.

[cackling] [knocking at door]

Jersey: Yo, SOD! It's me, open up!

[laughing]

Damn! [cackling]

[pounding at door]

Jersey: Yo, SOD, it's me!

Come on, open up, bro.

Get in here. What? [laughing]

You all right?

As you can see... [chuckling]

I brought you a late night snack,

and one of them is actually over 18.

[chuckling]

SOD: Y'all two chill out there.

Jersey, close the door.

Close the door! Right back, guys.

What the hell's with you, man?

Come on, tonight's your night.

It's time to go.

Let's go, it's party time!

Don't you see him?

Quon's standing right there!

He's right-- what? What?

What?

[mocking Indian accent] Look at my nut when I'm talking to you.

[laughing]

Little brother, someone must have

laced your dro and spiked your Criss.

[grunting]

I thought you'd be feeling better by now.

Yeah. Maybe I'm just--

I'm just-- I'm just twisted.

Yeah. [scoffing]

No, I'm not!

Both: He's standing right there!

You put a bullet in his head!

He's gonna kill me, man!

He's gonna kill me!

Fucking pussy. [laughing]

No shit?

He's right there.

No! No one is right there!

[Quon laughing]

Don't you two make a pretty pair?

The hit man and the hit maker.

Jersey, your aim was pretty solid that night.

[laughing]

Jersey, he knows.

Who cares?

I do!

Ah! Aah!

[chuckling]

Uh-oh. [chuckling]

You know, there's too many award shows nowadays.

I couldn't even tell you who won this shit last year.

Oh, yeah. I talked to God.

He told me to tell all you guys, quit thanking him.

He doesn't give a shit. [laughing]

What is happening to me?

[grunting]

[both shouting] Yeah, deeper!

Give it to me! You're almost there.

Die!

Oh! Ah! Die!

[grunting]

Damn! How many times they gonna kill a nigga?

[grunting, laughing]

[both screaming]

Oh. [chuckling]

So, that's the setup.

[grunting]

Cops'll be here soon.

If you're lucky... [chuckling]

you'll go platinum on death row.

Is that right?

'Cause I gotta tell you, Quon...

I'll do it again.

Because you're dead...

and I'm on top of the world.

And no one's ever gonna forget SOD.

Double murder?

They tend not to forget that.

[gun cocking]

Go out in a blaze of glory!

[laughing]

That nigga's dead.

I ain't going where you want to take me!

Oh, you boys want to be famous?

[gunshots]

[screaming]

[screaming]

Unh! Ah!

[echoing gunshot]

Devon: Well, SOD...

at least you went out like an O.G.

What in the hell is this?

[chuckling] Exactly.

[rock music playing]

[all screaming]

♪♪

[maw growling, snapping]

[elevator dinging]

As you can see, my job is to make sure

everybody gets to where they needs to get in their time

when their time comes.

When I get it right,

that's when I get to delegate the work

to my main man, Pint, right here.

Just go on and kick back, you dig?

Homie, I ain't doing your work for you.

I quit.

Oh, come on, Pint. You can't quit.

You know you're here to stay forever, baby.

We were meant to be.

Give me some.

♪♪

♪ There goes the neighborhood ♪

♪ There-- there goes the neighborhood ♪

[roaring]

♪ There goes the neighborhood ♪ [crying]

Eww, it's all pain to me. ♪ There-- there-- ♪

♪ There goes the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the place where all the creatures meet ♪

♪ The last building on the left ♪

♪ On the dead end street ♪

♪ You'll find skeleton bones ♪

♪ Abandoned homes ♪

♪ It's the Hood of Horrors, nigga, it's on ♪

♪ Ring around the rosie ♪

♪ Walls full of Posie ♪

♪ She had the power for the hour ♪

♪ But she chose the wrong way ♪

♪ Would you say, hey, she didn't do it right ♪

♪ Now tonight's tonight ♪

♪ And death is in sight ♪

♪ And you just might, 'cause this light ♪

♪ Fright night, with a little more bite ♪

♪ I'm kicking back, sitting on my phone ♪

♪ Fire behind me, murder, murder, blind me ♪

♪ Half Pint beside me ♪ What up?

♪ My comrade, my homie ♪

♪ With two slanks that'll take and gank anybody for me ♪

♪ I'm the crypt keeper, yeah, the grim reaper ♪

♪ You won't even see me when I creep up ♪

♪ Welcome to the Hood of Horrors ♪

♪ Welcome to the place where all the creatures meet ♪

♪ The last building on the left ♪

♪ On the dead end street ♪

♪ You'll find skeleton bones ♪

♪ Abandoned homes ♪

♪ It's the Hood of Horrors, nigga, it's on ♪

♪ Murder, murder ♪

♪ There's no justice ♪

♪ 'Cause justice ain't justice ♪

♪ Life is so precious ♪

I hate you.

♪ I'll be your judge to justice ♪

♪ Bust this, a couple of vetaranos ♪

♪ From the Vietnam War ♪

♪ Really didn't know what they was in store for ♪

♪ Let's just say they ran across a scumlord ♪

♪ He tried to pull a fast one, mentally harass them ♪

♪ But you know me, I had to physically harass 'em ♪

♪ What happened to him and his girl? ♪

♪ Don't, just ask 'em ♪

♪ They had it coming ♪

♪ That was a trip to see ♪

♪ That bitch when I blew up her stomach ♪

[demonic laughter] ♪ That shit was funny ♪

♪ Now give me the rent money ♪

♪ You won't be pulling no fast one ♪

♪ On my peoples, you motherfucking dummy ♪

♪ Dummy ♪ ♪ So, you'd best to be ♪

♪ Acting righty right ♪

♪ 'Cause I can take you to the afterlife ♪

♪ Then they crap on this and I'm the optimist ♪

♪ To fuck up your shit ♪

♪ Another tale from the crypt. Trip ♪

♪ Welcome to the place where all the creatures meet ♪

♪ The last building on the left ♪

♪ On the dead end street ♪

♪ You'll find skeleton bones ♪

♪ Abandoned homes ♪

♪ It's the Hood of Horrors, nigga, it's on ♪

♪ What the game won't do for you ♪

♪ What you won't do to be on top ♪

Put your hands in the air! ♪ Sell out your home crew ♪

All of you! ♪ Better yet ♪

♪ Treat your homie like he brand new ♪

Nigga, get the fuck off me!

♪ Let me tell you about this particular fool ♪

♪ Thought he was hard ♪

♪ Motherfucker named SOD ♪

♪ But I'm gonna let him meet God ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm the head nigga in charge ♪

♪ That boy did get too large ♪ ♪ And now he in trouble ♪

♪ Now it's time to pop his bubble ♪

♪ But before I do ♪

♪ Gave him a chance, tell him, "Repent" ♪

♪ He say, "Fuck that shit, I'd do it again" ♪

♪ Right then I knew I had to do him in ♪

♪ Put the grenade in his hand ♪

♪ Then let him pull the pin ♪

♪ That's cold how he did his friend ♪

♪ For 15 minutes of fame ♪

♪ Yeah, rap is a dirty game ♪

♪ It's getting darker too ♪

♪ I know you think that I can do it ♪

♪ Talkin' to him. Come on, man ♪

♪ Let me walk you through it ♪

♪ Welcome to the place where all the creatures meet ♪

♪ The last building on the left ♪

♪ On the dead end street ♪

♪ You'll find skeleton bones ♪

♪ Abandoned homes ♪

♪ It's the Hood of Horrors, nigga, it's on ♪

♪ Murder, murder ♪

♪ Welcome to the place where all the creatures meet ♪

♪ The last building on the left ♪

♪ On the dead end street ♪

♪ You'll find skeleton bones ♪

♪ Holes in domes ♪

♪ It's the Hood of Horrors, nigga, it's on ♪

♪ It's on ♪

♪ There goes the neighborhood ♪

♪ There-- there goes the neighborhood ♪

♪ There goes the neighborhood ♪

♪ There-- there goes the neighborhood ♪

♪ [beatboxing] There goes the neighborhood ♪

♪ There-- there-- there goes the-- ♪

♪ [beatboxing] There goes the neighborhood ♪

♪♪