All language subtitles for Divine.Secrets.Of.The.Ya-Ya.Sisterhood.2002.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]-eng

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[ ♪♪♪ ]

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[WHISPERING]
Come on.

Hurry up.

Shh.

These are the headdresses

of the queens
that have gone before us.

They come
from Indian holy ground,

the jungles of the ancients,

prairies of the Norwegians,

and the forests
of the mighty Amazons.

The royal crowns
of our people...

This is the blood
of our people--

the wolf people,

the alligator people,

and the moon women,

from which we gain our strengths
to rule all worlds.

It's okay. It's just chocolate.

Teensy Melissa Whitman,

I declare you
Princess Naked As A Jaybird.

Ha-cha-cha!

Caro Eliza Bennett,

I crown you
Duchess Soaring Hawk.

Necie Rose Kelleher,

I crown you
Countess Singing Cloud,

and I, Viviane Joan Abbott,

am hereby and forever
Queen Dancing Creek.

Now, wait just
one second, y'all.

I don't think we should
be cutting ourselves.

Silence!

We are the flames of the fires,
the whirling of the winds.

We are the waters of the rains
and the rivers and the oceans.

We are the rocks and the stones.

And now,
by the power invested in me,

I declare

we are the mighty
Ya-Ya priestesses.

Let no man put us under.

Now our blood flows
through each other

as it has done for all eternity.

Loyal forever.

We raise our voices
in the words of mumbo gumbo.

Ya-Ya!

Ya-Ya!

Whoo!

[DRUMBEATS]

Ya-Ya!

Whoo!

[ ♪♪♪ ]

WOMAN:
My mother.

What can I say about my mother?

There's nobody in this world
like Vivi Abbott Walker,

and she'll be
the first one

to tell you that.

Mom was loaded with charm,
looks, the whole package.

But damaged.

Wounded.

The most charming wounded person
you've ever met.

Wounded? How?

By the times
as much as anything.

She had star quality,

and she wanted a life bigger
than she was gonna find

being a cotton farmer's wife
with four kids.

I don't know.

She's just too
complex.

She can be
alarmingly simple,

and then suddenly
dark and complicated.

Sidda, is that it?

[SHRIEKS]

Sorry.

Well, we don't want
to burn the place down,

but otherwise,
is that it?

That's exactly it.

But she danced her way
through it.

Everybody smoked too much,

drank too much,
fought too much.

The women manipulated

and the men hid out,
huddled in their duck camps,

clutching their bottles
of Maker's Mark,

waiting
for the storm to pass.

And yet, it seems like
they were mostly having fun.

When you say "dark,"

you mean angry?
Violent?

No, no,

even though she knew
how to handle a switch...

or a belt.

Oh, no!

They came from "spare the rod,
spoil the child" philosophy.

Oh yeah.

What?

In a lot of ways,
I owe all my creativity to her.

If I'd had an easy childhood,

I'd have absolutely nothing
to write about.

[SCREAMS IN RAGE]

"The daughter
of a tap-dancing,

"child-abuser
of a mother,

and a distant,
emotionally absent fath--"

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit, Connor! Shit.
This is a disaster.

It's a little harsh.

Oh, God, I didn't
mean it that way!

Calm down.

You don't understand.
Give me a Xanax.

No, no, no, no.

Please.

Opening nights only,
babe,

and that's
your rule, hmm?

Well, all I can say is,

I hope this is not
a real emergency,

because I only brought
one bottle of vodka.

Vivi? We're here!

Vivi?

I got it.

That ungrateful bitch.

Who would have thought
she'd be the one

to try and do me in?

Here, bébé,
take a swallow.

It needs Tabasco.

Oh, my God. How?

How could she do it?

She was supposed to be
the good one!

Do you know how long
I was in labor with her?

Oh, two hours, not even.

Well, it felt longer!

Remind me never
to speak to Time Magazine.

That writer probably
trumped all that up.

You know how those Yankees
like to make us all out

to be swamp water,
alligator-wrestling bigots.

Yes. You ought to give Sidda
the benefit of the doubt.

Just call her.

Teensy,
ever since you quit drinking,

you've stopped
thinking clearly.

How can I possibly call somebody
who no longer exists?

Get me the phone.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Oh, my God, that's her.
Do not pick up the phone.

Connor, Connor,
don't pick up the phone.

Connor, don't!
Don't do it.

Hello?

Don't do that!

Hello, Connor.

Oh, hello, Vivi.
How are you?

Well, just lovely.
Thank you for asking.

Is she there?

[WHISPERING]
Why did you do that?

She's fine.
Talk to her.

Mama?

[SCREAMS]

Give it to me! Give it to me!

Sidda, she'll have
to call you back.

Tell her she's dead!

She's dead to me!

[SHOUTING CONTINUES]

Well, what did she say?

I am sick and tired
of her tantrums

and drunken rages and--

I heard
the ice in the glass clinking,

Mama!

Sounds of my happy childhood!

Why did you let her get to you?

What's wrong with a nice simple,

"Hi, Mom. How are you?

"Uh-huh...uh-huh...
Love you too.

Got to fly. See you later"?

What's wrong with that?

In the real world
of normal people,

you would be right!

But Vivi Abbott Walker--

Who is a grown woman--

Has never gotten over anything

in her privileged, booze-soaked,
self-centered, godforsaken life!

Shep!

Shep, come here!

Oh, my God,
she's gonna do it.

What?

Look, she's going
to marry that boy.

I mean, that man.

One, does that mean
you two are speaking?

And two, how much
is it gonna cost me?

Well...when is it?

And where is it?

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Don't answer it. It's her.
Don't!

Hello, Vivi.

Well, hello, Connor.

Did you call to talk to Sidda
or to hang up?

I just called to tell her
that I received the invitation,

and all I'll be sending

is my condolences to you.

Vivi, I'll say to you
what I'd say to my own mother.

Grow up.

[WHISPERING]
Thank you.

What are you
excited about?

Same thing goes for you.

Both of you are acting
like children.

Did she just hang up on me?

She hung up on me.

Mm-hmm.

How has your old man
hung in there

for, what, 40-odd years?

Yeah, well,
for one thing,

she moved out
of the bedroom

sometime
in the early '60s,

so he's had a lot of time
to himself.

What, he snores?

Uh-uh. He breathes.

All I'm saying is that
there are some things

that are just
none of our business

and we should
stay out of it.

But I didn't mean this.

We have an extreme
situation here.

And that requires
extreme measures.

We can't be afraid to do
what we know we have to do.

Ya-Ya.
Ya-Ya.

Ya-Ya, Ya-Ya, Ya-Ya.

Ya-Ya!

Surprise, surprise.

Mama's henchmen.

Hey, Connor.

Come here
and meet the Ya-Yas.

You don't seem very
surprised to see us.

Of course not.

Whenever
Mama can't handle something,

it's only a matter of time
before y'all come swooping in.

Hi. I'm Connor McGill.

I, for one, am very
pleased to meet you.

I'm Caro.

This is Teensy.

Hello.

And I am Necie,

and you are...a very
nice-looking young man.

Of course,

I'm just talking
about looks here,

but you look just fine.

Thank you. Please...

Now, before y'all start,
I have just one thing to say.

It's not gonna work.

Listen, petite bébé,

no one on earth,
and I mean no one,

understands better than us

how crazy your mama is.

We're not here
to dispute that.

She's mad as a hatter.

That's never
going to change.

Preaching to the choir.

She's been like that
all week.

Sidda, the very fact

that your mama is
the way she is...

if you really knew...

it's nothing less
than a triumph of the will.

I'm sorry,
did you say "will" or "pill"?

Don't you take that tone
with her.

You want to get all scrappy,
you deal with me.

That is just it!

I don't want
to get all scrappy.

I am sick of fighting,

and I am sick to death

of this center-of-the-universe,
holier-than-thou,

nothing-is-ever-enough,

"Oh, how I've suffered,

"nobody understands me,

somebody fix me a drink
and hand me a Nembutal,"

worn-out
Scarlett O'Hara thing!

Oh, she's got her pegged
all right.

I am finished. Done.

That is "gone"
with a "D."

Wait a minute.
Did Mama send you?

Are you out
of your mind?

She'd skin us alive
if she knew we were here.

We told her

we were going to a spa
where there's no alcohol.

Teensy joined
the triple-A.

Hmm.

Well, the point is,
Sidda...

I'm starving.

We know when
we're licked, okay?

How about you let us
just take you to dinner?

We'll get on the first plane
in the morning,

no questions asked.

[COUGHS]

[LOUD CLUB MUSIC PLAYING]

Broadway!

I just can't
get over it.

Your mama
is so proud.

For God's sake,
Teens,

we said we wouldn't
talk about Vivi.

We took a solemn oath,
and there you go.

It was an accident.

Why doesn't somebody
go to the bathroom?

It always makes the food come.

Ah.

I'll go.

I need to call Connor anyway.

What is it?

I got it from a caddy
at the club.

It's a "Rupey" or "Roofie"
or something.

He said
it would knock her on her ass.

No! Rupeys!
That's the date rape drug.

We can't do that!

She's practically a teetotaler
with these skinny little drinks!

Then what?
We can't conk her on the head!

Well, give her half.

She's a Walker. She can take it!

Here she comes!

I had to taste it.

It's delish.

Didn't work.

The food. It didn't come.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, it didn't, did it?

Guess not.

Well...here's to Mama.

Long may she rave.

Ya-Ya!
Ya-Ya!

[ ♪♪♪ ]

No!

No!

What is wrong with you women?

Sleeping Beauty's up.

Sleeping tiger.

I'll make her
some coffee.

I'll get the whip.

I have a play in rehearsal.

I have a fiance.

I have
a headache.

We flew you first class.

Doesn't that count
for anything?

What?

No!

I do not
understand

having those underwear
up your ass crack.

They don't cover
a thing.

I know.
I don't get it either.

Listen up this minute.

I am not a child.

I am a grown woman with a life
a thousand miles away,

and I'm going
back to it right now.

I'm making you coffee.
Good old Louisiana chicory.

What the hell do y'all think
you're doing?

A Ya-Ya mission
of mercy, pal.

An intervention.

Why me?

I've been in therapy
for 15 years,

with a professional!

She's the one that needs help.

Yes, you're right,

but bébé, she's getting up there
like the rest of us.

She is what she is,

but you, you have a long life
ahead of you.

You shouldn't have to spend
any more of it

tangled up in anger
and resentment.

I'm not angry,

and the only resentment I feel

is y'all thinking
to disrupt my life

because Mama
has a hissy fit

when essentially all I did
was tell the truth!

Oh, hold on. I'm spinning.

What's that doing here?

More will be revealed.

Don't you dare tell her
we have it.

They're not talking,
Necie.

That's why
we're all out here.

Siddo, kiddo,

she doesn't know
you're here.

She doesn't know
we have the book,

and that's the way
it ought to stay,

but there are some things
in there

that might...
make a small difference

in how you feel about
Ms. Viviane Joan Abbott Walker.

I don't care

if she was abducted
by leprechauns

and whacked over the head
with their shillelagh sticks.

I just want to
get out of here!

You want out?

That book minus
the chip on your shoulder

is your ticket
back to New York.

Thief.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

♪ I found true love
in one wild place... ♪

Cheers, darling.

Cheers.

All right.

Who wants to drown?

You, Sidda.

You show 'em how it's done!

Trouble?

Oh!

[CHEERING]

Flail, darling.
Make it look good.

Say a prayer.

Dear Jesus,

we ask that you help
Miss Sidda.

She's gonna die!

Petite, darling,
you were almost a goner,

but I think
you're going to make it!

[CHEERING]

That was stellar.

You had me believing there
for a minute.

I knew I hadn't lost my touch.

You look good, Willetta.

You look like
your old self again.

Old? Don't you be
talking about old.

You're the one

with the birthday
around the corner here.

Don't you be talking
about birthdays.

You gonna tell me
what's wrong?

Or do I have to use
what brain cells I got left

trying
to figure it out?

There's nothing wrong.

Really.

Except...

well, Sidda.

I wasn't
a horrible mother,

was I?

Is this about
that Time Magazine thing?

How'd you know about that?

Oh, Mr. Shep tell
Chaney everything,

and Chaney tell me
everything,

and I don't tell nobody
nothing,

but I'm gonna tell you
something right now.

Sooner or later,

everybody's bill comes due.

You've just got
to let the child feel

the way she feel.

There ain't
nothing else to do.

Shit.

Clubs are trump.

It's all trumps.

Oh, my God.

Look at how young y'all are.

Oh, my God.

I would give anything

to know then
what I know now.

And to still have
those thighs.

I'm sure they're still
buried in there somewhere.

What in the hell?

Oh.

That was when
we went to Atlanta

for the premiere
of Gone With the Wind.

You're joking.

No. My Uncle James
invited us.

Aunt Louise

was a big society
hoity-toity in Atlanta.

Oh, Necie.

Oh, my. Atlanta.

Necie, where were you?

My parents didn't think Willetta
was a suitable chaperone,

so I missed the big scene,

but your mama,
the budding journalist,

wrote to me
every single day.

All two of them.

"Dearest
Countess Singing Cloud..."

We arrived in Atlanta

after an eternity
on the Southern Crescent.

They made Willetta ride
in the colored car,

so we were on our own
almost the whole way."

Girls, get yourselves
on upstairs now,

and for heaven's sake,

get that Louisiana maid
in a uniform right away.

I never...

And get that ugly luggage
into the house

before somebody thinks
we've got a bunch of hobos

coming to stay.

[SNARLS]

Know what Mama says?

What?

Uncle James and Aunt Lou
are nouveau riche.

What's that?

I don't know,
but it's not good.

But, sugaroo,

from the looks of this place,

nouveau riche
is better than no riche at all.

You never saw
so many beautiful things

in all your life.

It's like a museum,
or even a palace.

Just think.

All this...

and I'm going to meet
Miss Margaret Mitchell

and Clark Gable too.

[SHRIEKS OF DELIGHT]

I feel like a Paris princess.

What y'all doing?

How are y'all supposed
to get clean,

all soaking together like that?

Get on out of there.

Look at you,
Willetta,

all done up
in that fancy uniform.

I'm going
to take a picture.

You can show everybody
at home.

No, you ain't.

Now, get your clothes on
for a fancy dinner.

They've got it all done up
like they's the king of England.

Isn't this
the most magnificent thing

that could ever happen?

I suppose that's what
I'd be thinking if I was you.

Come on.

[GIRLS GIGGLING]

Lord, I done died
and gone to hell.

When we went upstairs,
our beds were turned down,

just like in a fancy hotel,

but even though

it was the most exciting night
of my life,

I had a feeling

things weren't going so well
for Willetta.

[SOBBING]

Willetta?

What you doing
down here?

Get yourself
back up in that bed.

Willetta,
why are you crying?

I'm crying because
I misses my family.

You miss Maman Delia?

Child, your gran
ain't my family.

I got my own gran,

and my own
mama and daddy too.

You want to play cards?
Like at home?

No, child, I don't want
to play no cards.

Then how about
some hot chocolate?

Will you make me some,
Willetta?

Child, if you want
hot chocolate,

go fix it yourself.

James,
why in the world

are you wearing that hat
in the house?

Will Miss Mitchell
be at the premiere?

Who knows what that woman
would or would not do?

After she was denied membership
to the Junior League,

she's been utterly
unpredictable.

Of course,
she left us no choice,

and she's still
steaming.

She brought it on herself
with that awful Apache dance.

WILLETTA: Here
you go, baby girl.

Here's your hot chocolate,
just like you likes it.

Who told you

you could walk
your black Louisiana ass

into our dining room?

You got ears, nigger?

[GASPS]

Get on out of here.

Did I hear you right?

What, are y'all deaf?

I heard him loud and clear.

Me too.

Shut your mouth,

you prissy-ass
little mama's boy!

You apologize
this instant--

Aunt Lou!

You'd better let go of her,

or I'll let that ugly halfwit
you call Junior

have it again!

Don't you dare!

Oops. Slipped.

I'm sorry,
Mrs. Whitman.

I'm sorry your son's
a baboon's ass.

Ya-Ya!

Ugh, what a wretched woman!

She's dead now,
I'm happy to say.

Ding-dong!

I don't think I ever
saw my mama so proud

as when we stepped off
that train.

Yeah, Buggy,
on the other hand,

made Vivi do penance
for a month.

She thought
for sure

she'd lost her place
in heaven.

God, that Buggy
was so--

Don't even...

Worrying about the afterlife

is no way to live
through this one.

Oh, honey,

your Grandma Buggy

was about the unhappiest person
I think I have ever seen,

and there was something
in Vivi's very nature

that just--

Scared the shit
out of her.

She was overwhelmed
by Vivi's life force.

Nothing's changed,
darlin'.

Ever since your mama
came into this world,

she took up all the space
in the room.

Wow.

That's my brother, Jack.

I didn't know you had a brother,
Teensy.

That's why you're here, bébé,

to know what
you didn't know.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[SINGING IN FRENCH]

May I tell you
a secret?

In my prayers,
I thank God

for granting my son
his true love

at an early age.

[SINGING IN FRENCH]

Sunflower, will you come
and take a walk with me?

Of course.

You're lying.

You don't want
to be a pilot.

You just want
to impress your father.

Come on, Vivi.

I ain't doing this
just for him.

There's a war on.

It'd be wrong
not to go.

It'd be wrong
to leave me here.

You said--

I'm sorry, bébé.

It's already done.

Besides, I've got to do
something right

for the old man.

Will you come back?

Are you kidding?
Of course I will.

Swear on the Virgin.

I swear.

Swear on your mother's life.

I swear.

Now, I want you
to make me a promise.

Promise me
that when I come home

from fighting this war,

you'll be the one
I come home to,

you understand?

What if I'm away

being a big city
newspaper woman?

Vivi, you can do anything
you set your mind to.

You know that,
don't you?

I'm going to miss you.

He made me swear not to
till he told you himself.

Well, you should have warned me.

What did Geneviève say?

Oh, she cried,

begged him
to change his mind,

and then
Daddy called her unpatriotic.

He gave a speech
and made a toast.

Mama swore she'd never drink
to a son going to war,

so now Daddy's
in the doghouse.

Amen.

There's not
a goddamn breeze

in the entire state
of Louisiana.

Will someone please
wring me out?

We cannot just sit here
and puddle.

We're going to have to make
our own goddamn breeze.

[♪♪♪]

♪ You don't have to have
a hanker ♪

♪ To be a broker
or a banker ♪

♪ No siree, just got to be
my mother's son-in-law... ♪

No!

Don't you do that.

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, my God.

Do not pull over, Teensy.
I mean it!

[SIREN WAILS]

If you can't talk your way
out of this one,

then I don't know what!

We are going straight to hell.

Ha-cha-cha!

Yeah,
we went to jail.

I was so proud.

Your mama
was a bad influence.

If it weren't
for you,

our moral fiber
would've been shredded

to tattered rags.

Teensy,
smack her for me.

Hey, kids,

am I going to have
to give you a time-out?

[KNOCK]

Vivi?

Yes?

Are you
all right?

I'm fine.

You need anything?

No.

All right, then.

"I owe all my creativity to her.

"If I'd had an easy childhood,

I'd have nothing
to write about."

Well, that is the truth, honey.

[SIDDALEE]:
Why isn't Grandma Buggy's name

on this invitation?

Well, that birthday business
was ugly.

Your granddaddy had just settled
a big case,

and he wanted
to strut his money.

Buggy didn't want
to have that dance.

She didn't believe in parties.

And sure as hell didn't believe
in celebrating your mama.

He did it just to spite her.

Taylor Abbott treated his horses
better than he treated his wife.

And your mama got caught
in the crossfire.

Boy, did she ever.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

Whoo!

[GASP]

Daddy, is it real?

Of course it's real.

It is?

It's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in my life.

Mama, it's gorgeous.

Did you pick it out?

Mr. Abbott,

that is not a proper gift
for a girl.

That's right,

but it's a perfect gift
for a young woman,

a beautiful
young woman.

Aren't you just
the luckiest little girl

God ever made?

Why don't you
come with me, bébé?

Hey, good-looking.

This ring is nothing

compared to the one
I'm going to get you.

Jack, everybody saw.

The only thing anybody saw
is how beautiful you are.

And we're not going
to be like them.

All right?

I swear, honey.

Don't you worry.

Don't you worry.

♪ ...You're the only one
for me ♪

♪ I have told them in advance ♪

♪ They can't break up
our romance ♪

♪ Oh, livin' up to every vow ♪

♪ I'm keeping out of mischief
now ♪

[GIGGLING]

[WHISPERING]

[WHISPERING AND QUIET CHATTER]

He's cute...

No.

Whatever you did

to make your father
give you this ring

is a mortal sin.

May God forgive you.

I didn't do anything!

He just gave it to me.

I didn't do anything!

No, no, no.
She is sick.

Don't let her
get to you.

Don't worry, Vivi.

I'll steal it back
if I have to.

[SHOUTING]

Now, do it, Buggy!
Do it!

You give the girl
the goddamn ring,

you pathetic Catholic idiot.

Pick it up.

Daddy!

You bend down,

and you pick up
that goddamn ring.

Give me your hand.

Viviane,

I gave this ring to you.

It's yours.

It's from me to you.

You understand?

Now, what do you have
to say,

making a fool
of yourself

in front
of Viviane's friends?

Huh?

You go to sleep, girls.

[CRYING]

You okay?

Yeah,
but wow.

How horrible to be so hated
by your own mother.

Mama's jealous,
competitive, and judgmental,

but she doesn't hate me.

Not like that.

Oh, wait a minute.

Yes, she does.

Forgot.

She's trying
to hate you, honey.

You just delivered her
a swift kick in the ego.

She's just
smarting.

Mm. I have dreams
about this.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Could be
Chick.

It's her.

Could be Chick,
but it's her.

Don't answer it.

Right.

[RINGING CONTINUES]

Hello?

Caught you.

Now, why on earth do y'all think
you can get away with this?

You think I don't know
what you're up to?

What do you mean, "up to"?
What's that mean?

You don't fool me
for a second.

Oh, well--

We're not up to
a goddamn thing,

and if we were,

it would be
none of your business,

so don't go
poking around

or you'll spoil
everything.

I just don't want a big fuss.
That's all I ask.

And I don't want candles
on my cake.

It'll look like
the burning of Atlanta.

Pal, when we want
your advice,

we'll ask for it.

Got it?

Big kiss.

[KISSES]

She thinks this
is about her birthday.

Can you believe it?

It's coming up soon too.
Real soon.

Couple of days.

No numbers, everybody.

That's one thing
that Mom always did real well,

the birthday thing.

She'd come into our room
in the morning.

and we'd have a party,
just with us.

When Daddy got home,
we'd do it again.

He could never know
about that morning cake,

so she always got two.

It was our secret.

I'm so glad I had you.

I'm going to call Connor.

You go right ahead.

We'll leave you alone.

But we'll be listening
from the kitchen,

so talk loud.

[RINGS]

Hi.

How did you know it was me?

Ah, who else?

How are you feeling?

Oh, a little
disoriented.

Oh, well, horse tranquilizers
will do that for you.

I can't believe
you let them do this.

They didn't ask.

They called
on the way to the airport.

They informed me
of their plan.

I saw you off.

From where?

The airport.

Helped get you
on the plane.

They're organized.

They even had a note
from a doctor.

By the way,
your pills are in your bag.

I have a bag?

Yeah. In the closet.

Tell Connor
we say hello.

Did you hear that?

Yeah.

I tell you, meeting them
explains a lot about you.

Such as?

Well, let me put it this way.

You're a hell of a lot
more normal

than you have any right
to be.

[SPLASH]

Why'd you do that?

They'll explain it all
to you at the Betty.

Listen, I'm going to try
and bust out of here tomorrow.

I've got to get back
for work.

Don't rush back on my account.

I just said it was for work.

I just meant

maybe you ought to try to stay

and fix this thing
with your mother

once and for all.

Why are you so worried
about this?

Because I'm afraid

that one day our kids
may feel that way about you.

Ow.

These women
may be nuts,

but I have a feeling

they might know something
that you don't.

I don't think it's fair

you're bringing kids
we don't have

into this.

That was just a really low blow.

That's the way
I feel.

Stay there. Deal with it.

You deal with it.

Ow.

Don't New York people
say goodbye?

SIDDALEE: Not when they're on
their high horse

thinking they know so much.

Oh, I hate that.

I especially hate it
when they're right.

Whenever Charlie's right,
I just ignore him.

It seems like y'all
ignored him, right or wrong.

Not really.

Like hell
we didn't.

Took me 25 years
to notice my husband was gay.

I think they just
couldn't keep up with us.

I think we created
our own little world

where we still
all live happily

to this day.

Ya-Ya.
Ya-Ya.
Ya-ya.

I wonder if Mama
would have ignored Jack

the way
that she's ignored Daddy.

No way, pal.

Jack was the love
of her life,

the kind
you only get once.

Well, then,
what happened?

How did Daddy wind up
in the hot seat?

[LAUGHING]

Viv.

Vivo.

Come on,
we have to go to Teensy's house.

No.

Come on.

I knowed something bad
was coming.

Just yesterday,

I done heard
that screech owl.

[CRYING]

[FRENCH ACCENT]
You killed my baby!

You killed my baby!

You drink champagne
to his death.

You killed him,
sure enough.

You killed my baby!

SIDDALEE: I don't think
I can take any more.

Me neither.

I think I need to go home.

Are you all right to drive?

Of course I am.

Habit.

See y'all tomorrow.

Wasn't all just fun and games.

So I see.

Shall I make a long story short?

They never found his body,

not a dog tag, no shoe,
nothing.

Geneviève got herself believing
for a while...

that it was all
a mistake,

he was still alive
somewhere.

Then she stopped believing,

and then...

the good French lady
took her leave.

I knew I should have stopped
while I was behind.

Poor Teens.

Your mama rallied for her,

but the two of them...

neither of them
was ever the same.

I wish you could have known

what your mother was like
when she was a girl.

You would've loved her.

Necie, me not loving Mama
was never the problem.

Her not loving you
was never the problem either.

What about Daddy?

Was she ever
in love with him?

Or was he just around
to do the heavy lifting?

Your daddy knew Jack.

He knew
he could never replace him,

but he said
he'd rather play second fiddle

than not play in the band
at all.

He thought he loved her enough
for both of them.

Maybe he did.

Does.

Well...

I got some work to do
at the woodpile, honey.

'Night.

Let's call it a night,
shall we?

'Night.

Smells good.

Now what's wrong, Vivi?

I'm still not Jack?

Shut up, Shep.

How long are you going
to make us suffer

for something
we can't change?

Fine.

Going to feed your children?

I don't care
if you starve to death.

Hey, kid.

I'll make dinner,
Daddy, okay?

Thank you.

I'll get the skillet.
Don't touch it.

SHEP: There isn't
any room for me!

VIVIANE: What are you
talking about?

You go out there

and drink yourself
to sleep!

You don't lift one finger
to help this family.

SHEP: I don't lift
a finger?

Look at my hands!

I don't want to look

at your ugly
cotton-farming hands,

and I sure as hell don't want
you putting them on me!

Don't worry!

Drunk as you are
all the time,

I don't even want to be
in the house with you.

You're disgusting!

God, I hate you, Shep!

I hate you!

Is Daddy
going to kill her?

She'll kill him
first.

[RINGS]

Hi.

Why do you answer the phone
like that?

Like what?

Like you know it's me.

But it is you.

I've been awake all night
thinking about what you said,

and I think I know
what you're getting at.

Your tone makes me think
that you don't.

Think about it.

Why would my kids
feel that way

if I wasn't unfit?

Our kids.

If I wasn't
in some way damaged?

That's what
you're saying.

Uh, not even close.

Then there's no logic,
you simply said it to hurt me?

You're right.

How can I know?
So why risk it?

Know what I mean?
Uh, no.

Why risk doing
to my children

what Mama did to me,

and why risk doing to you
what she did to Daddy?

Why don't you ask him what
a bed of roses his life was

while you're at it?

At what?

Figuring out
if I'll ruin

the lives
of our hypothetical children!

Okay, Sidda?

No shit,
you're really scaring me now.

We should calm down.

Do not, do not start

that patronizing
"You're crazy right now,

"so I'll just stay still

and not make any sudden moves
till you're finished" thing.

Okay? Do not.

See? You're doing it.

Okay, okay. Uncle.

You've got me painted
into a corner

where nothing I say
could be right.

That's how you want
to live your life,

painted into a corner
by an unfit mother?

No, no, no.
I never said I wanted that.

Fine.

I'll make this easy.

Why don't you just
put this whole thing on hold

while you figure out how badly
I'll fuck up everybody's life?

Okay?

Do not send out
those invitations. Do not!

Siddalee Walker?

You are on the verge
of making a very big mistake

right now.

Well, so are you,
only I'm not going to let you.

Did she just call off our god--

I don't have the number.

I don't have the goddamn number!

Oh...Okay. Vivi.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Hello?

Vivi?

Yeah.

This is Connor--

I don't...

[SCREAMS]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

What?

Emergency, Vivi!
Do not hang up!

Oh, my God. Oh, no!

No, no, no, no. Not that.

I--I just need
a phone number from you.

My God!

Don't you ever, ever, ever
do that to me again!

Sorry.

It's just that I think
she just called off

our goddamn life,

and I don't have
the number.

What are you talking about, boy?

She's with those friends
of yours,

the Yo-Yos, or Yee-Haws,

or whatever
the hell--

The Ya-Yas?

Why in hell
would she run off with them?

She didn't run off.

They came here
and took her!

Oh, for Pete's sake.

I've got to go.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Yes?

I don't know if you really
ruined Sidda's life,

but I do know
that now you're ruining mine!

And your phone etiquette sucks,
you--

He hung up on me.

Oh, what a surprise!

Look what the backstabbing,
traitorous cats dragged in.

Oh, look who it is--
all my old ex-friends!

And the biological fruit
of my womb...that rotted.

[HONKING]

Oh, shit.

What?

Hi, honey.

Hi.

Pull over.

I can't hear you.

Pull over!

Pull over, Vivi.

No!

Pull over, Vivi!

Fuck off.

Oh!

Go ahead. Warn them.

Give them time to scatter
like rats.

Oh, my God!

You are so lucky.

If you put one scratch
on my baby,

I would have your ass.

Teensy, I demand

that you move this piece of shit
out of my way

this very instant!

Who do you think
you're talking to?

I know she's there.

Now, what is going on? Huh?

Is betrayal
absolutely everywhere?

Yes.

Your lifelong friends

are programming your daughter
to destroy you.

Well, somebody better tell me
what's going on.

Vivi, calm down.

You're just gonna
have to trust us.

If you go there now,

you're gonna ruin
everybody's life.

What is it with me
ruining everybody's life?

Everybody, Teensy?

Strangers are saying it now.

What strangers?

Connor.

He yelled at me.

She's walked out
on their entire life,

whatever that means.

Go. Go home. Now.

Don't you talk to me like that.

I'll knock you
into the middle of next week.

Then I will kick your sorry ass
on Thursday.

Now, get in the goddamn car
and go home.

Piece of shit...

Well, that's ridiculous.

I don't think that's
what he meant at all.

Listen, kids,

we've got to slow down
or I'll pop a lung.

Listen, Siddo,

I know you come by your flair
for drama honestly,

but you don't call off a wedding

and a seven-year
goddamn relationship

on the basis
of one phone call,

especially after the goofballs
we had you hopped up on.

Oh, stop.
I've got to rest.

I didn't.
That wasn't why.

Don't you think
it's fishy

that we're not
married yet?

He started asking me
the first year.

I always resisted.

Don't you think
that's fishy?

Why is that fishy?

Because.

Something must be wrong.

I've been hitting
the snooze button

on my biological clock

for a long time.

I mean,
on paper it all works out.

You saw him. Who wouldn't want
to have babies with him?

But every time
I get right down to it,

something just stops me,

just...just stops.

And you don't have any idea why?

Well, I have an idea why.

What if I'm like her,
and I get into it, and just...

What?

Beat the living daylights
out of everybody

and then run away.

That's what you think happened?

What do you mean,
"think", Teensy?

I was there. This isn't some
goddamn recovered memory.

I wish I could forget it.

Y'all have
your little Ya-Ya scars,

but that is nothing
compared to what she left on me,

and if there's even
one drop of that in me,

I am better off alone.

No child should find that out
the hard way,

and neither should Connor.

You know, fine,
she didn't want us. Fine.

She should have just
stayed gone,

but then
y'all dragged her ass back here,

and all she did was drink
until we all went away,

but, I mean,
y'all should know,

since you were the ones
mixing the drinks!

My God,

she doesn't know anything,
does she?

VIVIANE: Sidda!
Sidda, go get Lulu.

Baylor, get in the car.
We are leaving.

I can't stay in this house
one more second.

I can't stand it. I can't!

[CRYING]

♪ I see the moon
and the moon sees me ♪

♪ And the moon
sees the world ♪

♪ That I want to see ♪

♪ So God bless
the moon ♪

♪ And God bless me ♪

♪ And God bless the world
that I want to see ♪♪

Mary...

Mother of the motherless?

Can you see me?

I'm here!

It's me again.

I need divine intervention
once again,

quelle grande surprise.

And here it is.

My oldest daughter, Siddalee,

the one
I've been complaining about?

The loudmouth?

She may be walking away
from true love.

Please stop her.

Don't let her run away.

This is because of me.

She never said it, but I know.

She's only seen me holding back.

I take full responsibility,

but I'd appreciate you
keeping that to yourself.

Please pass this on
to your Son and his Father.

I will only smoke
once...a day,

and I'll only have a drink
once a week--

I mean, a day.

I'll do the best I can.

If you will just help her out
with this one thing,

I'll make it up to you somehow.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

♪ This old house
is falling down ♪

♪ Around my ears ♪

♪ I'm drowning in a river
of my tears ♪

♪ When all my will is gone
You hold me sway ♪

[TURNS DOORKNOB
BUT DOOR IS LOCKED]

♪ I need you
at the dimming of the day ♪

♪ You pull me ♪

♪ Like the moon
pulls on the tide ♪

♪ You know just where
I keep my better side ♪

[ ♪♪♪ ]

♪ Know I love ya, babe? ♪

♪ Know I love ya, babe? ♪

♪ Know I love ya, baby? ♪

♪ But you don't even know
my name ♪

♪ Let me tell ya, baby ♪

♪ Tell ya what I would do ♪

♪ I would rob,
steal, kill somebody ♪

♪ Just to get back home
to you ♪♪

[HONKING]

Daddy.

Hey, butterbean.

Look at you.

You look pretty good
for a hostage.

Yeah, well,
my captors are humane.

You look like

you're holding up
pretty well yourself.

Well,
another fine mess.

Yeah.

Daddy, the best lesson
I ever learned from you

was to lay low.

What happened?

Oh, security has been breached.

Backups have been called in.

Full-scale Ya-Ya alert.

Ah,

but the prisoner's been left
unattended.

You could bust me out.

I could,

but then, wherever we go,

we'd still
be there.

Mm. No escape.

More like Stockholm syndrome.

That is you.

What about me?

You'll end up as the leader.

The inmate
takes over the asylum.

Mm...

What?

Never mind. Never mind.

What?

Why am I being hauled
into court?

I'm not the one engaging
in acts of treachery.

Well, that's a matter
for some debate.

The jury's
still out, pal.

Your kids
aren't writers.

They're not exposing
all your darkest secrets

as entertainment
for the masses.

I swear to God,

if I'd known she was
going to be a writer,

I never would have--

Never
would have what?

Goddamn it, Vivi.

Will you stop thinking
about how it'll make you look?

Will you think
about what you're saying?

She has no idea.

I can't believe y'all
are doing this to me.

She knows too much
as it is.

Frankly,
she doesn't know shit,

and what
she does know,

she's made
the worst of it.

It's like this, pal.

If you don't tell her, we will.
Case closed.

This is not
the Ya-Ya way.

Well, it is now.

Ya-Ya.
Ya-Ya.
Ya-Ya.

Now, let's eat.

We were ill-equipped.

I think it can be summed up in

"The road to hell
is paved with good intentions."

What about the road back?
What's that paved with?

Humility.

Really, Daddy?

I mean, does she even have that
in her repertoire?

Not that she'd care
to admit.

Pride covers
a multitude of sins.

But you live with someone
long enough,

you can see
what they're trying to hide

by the way they try to hide it.

She's hurting too,
baby girl.

Daddy?

Did you get loved enough?

What's enough?

My question is,

did you?

It's never too late.

SIDDALEE'S VOICE: Hi.

You've reached
Connor and Sidda.

Please leave a message
and we will call you back.

Thanks.

Hi.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING CONTINUES]

I'm very sorry to bother you
so late.

Are you Mr. Walker?

Depends.

I'm Connor McGill.

I'm supposed to be
marrying Sidda?

But she was abducted
the other day

by some friends
of yours--

Son, save your breath.
It's not my department.

Come on in.

Vivi Walker, Connor McGill.

She'll take over from here.

Good luck.

Night-night.

Why am I just
meeting you now, Connor?

Is that her doing
or yours?

You know the answer
to that.

Did she actually say

she was calling
the whole thing off?

Did she use those exact words?
No.

She said, "Don't mail out
the invitations."

Yeah, but she didn't say
burn them or throw them out.

That's hopeful.

Vivi, it's taken years
to nail down a date.

She's always said,
"What's the rush?"

or "Things are so good.
Why screw it up?"

I don't know what the hell
she's so afraid of.

It's like she's always waiting
for the bottom to drop out.

Well, you know why
she thinks that,

don't you, honey?

Because it did.

It always did.

[COUGHING]

What? What is it?

Put your arms up.

Take a sip.

Ugh.

I'm sorry.
I thought it was water.

Lulu and Baylor are sick.

Baylor pooped in the bed.

Oh, Baylor, God!

Come on. Get in the bathtub.

Get out of those pants.

I didn't mean to.

[COUGHING]

Sidda, stop that coughing,
come help me with your brother!

Come on, Baylor.

We have to be a good boy.

My tummy hurts.

We have to take
your temperature.

Oh! God, Lulu!

I'm sorry, Mommy.

Throw up in the toilet!

Where's your goddamn father?

Why do I have to do everything
myself?

Stop!

Uh-oh.

Oh, God!

Mama.

[VOMITING]

[CRYING]

Pick me up.

Mama!

Shut up!

[CRYING AND SCREAMING]

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Mama!

Mama!

Mama!

Mama!

Willetta,

do you have
any money?

No, ma'am, I don't.

Make sure Little Shep
eats his oatmeal,

or he'll be
in the cookies.

I will.

Where are you going
in your fancy coat?

Confession.

I'm going
to get absolution.

You watch out
for them cat-eyed priests.

I'll be back in an hour.

Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.

My last confession
was two weeks ago.

Go ahead.

Father,

I accuse myself of bad thoughts
toward my family.

Have you borne hatred
toward your husband?

Yes, and toward my children.

How many times

have you borne
these thoughts of hatred

toward loved ones?

Too many to count.

What are these
bad thoughts?

In my thoughts,
I want to abandon my children.

I want to injure my husband.

I want to run away.

I want to be unattached.

I want to be famous.

You must banish
these bad thoughts.

What if I can't
make the thoughts stop?

Well, then,

ask Mary, the mother
of our blessed Lord

to teach you
to bear your cross silently,

patiently,

and in perfect submission
to the will of God.

[DIALS PHONE]

Good morning.

May I have some coffee, please?

Yes. Thank-- Wait.

Is--is today Thursday?

Friday?

[DIALS PHONE]

Hi, darling.

You okay?

I'm fine, honey.

Sidda, honey, don't cry.

How is everybody?

All by yourself?

I'm very proud of you, honey.

That's good.

I'm coming home.

Today.

How about we have shrimp
for supper?

I love you too.

Bye-bye.

Does she know about all this?

Well, she knew I was gone.

Wasn't the first time.

I know she blames me.

Of course she does,
just like I blame my mother.

I didn't screw up
her life

any more than my mother
screwed up mine.

Well, she almost did,

but all the real,
long-term damage...

I did to myself.

Vivi,

I just want the woman
to marry me.

Vivi?

Did you knock?

What is it, honey?

I had a question.

Well...

Well, what's
the question, honey?

Did I ruin your life?

I always thought
the story was

I'd ruined yours.

I think that may be another

of the many lies
I've told myself

along the way.

Vivi, you made it
interesting.

I tried to keep up.

Then I tried to stay
out of your way,

but I knew the first time
I laid eyes on you

there was no one like you
in the whole world.

When I said
"for better or worse,"

I knew it was a coin toss.

Shep?

Heads or tails?

Your call.

Is that Connor?

I believe it is.

Let's stick
to the plan.

Hi. You're just
in time.

I made beignets.

Look who's here.

Hello, Connor.

Good morning, ladies.

Connor, what are you
doing here?

I've come to reclaim my bride.

Oh, she'll hate it
if you call her that.

It'll be
our secret.

Secrets are the Ya-Ya forte,
from what I understand.

That's kind of what
we came to talk about.

Vivi, honey,

I think you know
what we're here for.

I believe we've had
this discussion.

I think I was perfectly clear.

You were perfectly clear
and perfectly wrong.

This is violently unfair.

I have not ceded control
of my private life to you

or to anyone else.

Honey.

There is no shame
in what happened.

That was a different time,
and you were a different person.

They're right.

You can trust Sidda,
honey.

Oh, come on,
honey.

Come with us.

I can't.

I can't be the one.

I don't even remember
most of it.

I don't want to be the one.

Okay, darling.

You'll be glad, honey.

You'll be glad
when this is over.

I'm coming with you.

Wait a minute.
You can't all go.

I'll stay with you, Vivi.

Once, a long time ago...

I dropped my basket.

Hey, butterbean.

What's the problem?

Nothing.
Connor's just not picking up.

What?

Get comfortable, bébé.

I got a full tank.

When I got back,
I quit drinking,

and I tried to be
the best mother I could.

How'd that go?

Not so hot.

Willetta,
get this monster off of me!

I can't stand the sight of him.

Don't look at me
in that tone of voice.

I wasn't.

Well, don't!

Hurry up. Get in there!

VIVIANE: I saw a priest,
who sent me to a doctor,

who was supposed to cure me
of the demon alcohol.

CONNOR:
Did it work?

[ LOUD TV,
KIDS CHATTERING ]

Dad?

Shut up!

Quit making
all that goddamn noise.

Monday...
Wednesday, beggar man, thief.

How many doctors will it--

I'm sure there are
things you remember

that you'd rather
forget.

We know you bore
the brunt of it.

Bear the brunt.

I done a bad thing.

Heathcliff,
I got a surprise for you.

A surprise, Louie?

Yeah. Close your eyes.

Come on.

Ooh! Ow! Oh!

I didn't do anything.

Outside, everybody.

Get out of those filthy rags!

We can't, Mama. It's raining.

Come on! I'll clean you up
before he has to go.

I didn't do anything!

I have to save my babies!

Oh, my God, Mama!

Oh, God, help me!

[SHOUTING AND SCREAMING]

No!

No!

Let me find Daddy!

Stop it!

♪ I see the moon
and the moon sees me ♪

Mama, no!

Lulu, get away
from her!

I'm sorry, Mommy.

Come on, Lulu! Run!

No, Mama!

Please, stop it, Mama!

Hail Mary, full of...

No, no, Miss Vivi!

They need cleaning!

They are clean,
clean as angels.

Get them in the truck,
Willetta.

Chaney, come on!

We gotta try to find Mr. Shep!

She done lost her mind!

Oh, my God, you're bleeding.

Get in the truck.

Vivi, can you hear me?
Come on.

Do you know
what she took?

How many?

No idea,

but she eats them
like they're goddamn M&Ms.

Doctor Lowell.

That man ought to be
run out of town on a rail.

I'm gonna give her
a mild tranquilizer.

Shep, Vivi is sick.

She has cracked up.

We have to get her
some real help.

I can tell you
what the problem is.

The woman doesn't eat.

Um, Shep?
She ain't gonna eat now.

She doesn't know where she is.

It's not gonna hurt to have
something in her stomach, is it?

Hey, baby.

Okay, it's a BLT.

You got to
take a bite, honey.

Good, good.

Chew, baby. Yeah.

Beau,

why don't you go on over
and see about the kids?

Oh, baby.

Vivi?

Baby.

Come on.

Come here. Come here.

Come here.

[DOOR OPENS]

Yeah? So?

She didn't
leave you, Siddo.

Well, she was sure as hell gone.

She sure as hell was.

SIDDALEE: Dear Mama,

I hope you're having
a nice time, wherever you are.

We are being very good,

and I can even make Baylor
be quiet now,

so he won't get
on your nerves.

I promise.

So you can come home any time.

I'm sorry if we made you mad.

I pray for you every night,
and every morning too.

I miss you so very much,
and Daddy does too.

Maybe I could come see you,

and we could go swimming,
just like old times.

Lulu, don't bite.

I love you, Mama,

and I will write again
tomorrow.

Sit down, Daddy.

Yours truly, Siddalee.

It was six months'
involuntary commitment,

Sidda,

and when
she got back,

we tried to get her to talk
about her breakdown.

She refused,

and refuses
to this day.

Only once,

she made me tell her
how I found you and the kids--

every single mark
on your bodies.

She was twisted
with guilt.

Honey, I think the reason
she stayed distant

is she never
trusted herself again.

She didn't think
she deserved you.

Everything else
is an act, bébé.

And those pills.

Dexamyl.

Half Dexedrine,
half Miltown.

It was supposed
to cure drinking.

Nobody knew shit
back then.

The thing I regret most

is that we didn't talk to you,
or Baylor, or Lulu, or Shep.

I guess it was based
on some arcane belief

that you don't interfere
with other people's kids.

I wanted to tell you, honey,
a million times.

She made me swear.

She made me swear
I would never tell a soul.

Speak, bébé.

Oh, I'm just adding up
in my head

the thousands and thousands
of dollars

I spent on therapy

trying to figure out
what the hell I had done wrong.

Shep?

Write her a check.

We'll be cooking
if you need us.

We have your mother's
birthday party

to throw.

Bye, now, bébé.

Bye, honey.

Bye-bye,
y'all.

Bye.

You okay?

Yeah.

It wasn't always bad,
honey.

Do what I do.

Think about
the good times.

Let that be
what sticks with you.

What are you,
some kind of saint?

That's me.

Saint Shep
of the fields.

Patron saint
of sunflowers.

Bye.

[AIRPLANE APPROACHES]

Sit down!

Sit down!

All right, Sidda, honey,
we're going to need tickets.

Go be a doll
and stand in line.

Get enough for 12 children
and two adults.

I need a strong man!

Necie, you're not
going up, right?

No, I'm not.

Teensy, you're high enough
as it is, sister.

We've got room
for one more.

This little one is staying,
and this one is going.

This is safe, right?

Safe as a baby carriage.

Don't get saucy.
These are my precious angels.

Don't worry.

It's your turn.

Come on, bébé,
let's go.

I can't.

Are you scared?

Why don't you hop in?

You go if I go?

All right, then.
Keep your eye on Baylor.

Don't try my patience.

Either tell me what's wrong
or forget it.

I want to ride
in the airplane.

Well, why didn't you
when you had your turn?

I don't know.

Sidda,

I understand what it is
to be afraid,

but nobody ever got anywhere

by being frightened
all the time.

When I think
of all the stuff I never...

You want to ride
in that airplane?

And you just won't be able
to live with yourself

if you can't?

That's exactly it.

Well, all right, then.

[HONKS HORN]

Who's honking
that horn?

Sidda and I

are going to see a man
about an airplane.

Hi there.

Yoo-hoo!

I know you must be utterly
exhausted

after such a long day,

but could you possibly consider
giving just one more ride,

for my daughter?

No. Sorry.

Please?

She panicked
when it was her turn,

and now she's just dying
to go up.

I'll pay you.

Ma'am, I've got to go
to Baton Rouge,

and then fly to Macon, Georgia,
in the morning.

and I've been here
since 7 a.m.

But I can pay you a whole $1.18.

Lady, $1.18 won't cover the gas
to get us off the ground.

We'll be back. With money.

You just stay right there, okay?

Please don't go yet.

Christ.

I need some cash, Lyle.

Charge $15 to Shep's account,
okay?

Actually, make it 20.

Nope. Sorry,
I can't do that.

Why in the world not?

You've done it 84,000 times
before.

Shep come in here

and told me I can give you all
the gas and service you want,

but no more cash

on account of
all the times before.

It's not what you think.

Now, come on. Be a sweetheart,
and it'll stay between us.

He said just gas.
No cash.

He pays the bills.

It's okay, Mama. Never mind.

Let's just give up
and go on home.

Siddalee Walker.

Don't you ever let me hear you
utter those words again!

Do you understand?

Come on, get out of the car.

Darling, I have a little
proposition for you.

How much gas are you buying
this afternoon?

I'm filling up.

Why don't you let me put it

on my husband's
charge account,

you pay me cash?

What do you say?

Okay. I see what you're saying.

I'm married to a tight-fisted
son of a bitch myself.

Have a wonderful day.

Lyle!

You've been outsmarted
once again!

Now, come hoist your homely ass
out of that chair

and pump this lovely
gentlewoman a tankful.

Come on, darling.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

Which way is your house?

Thataway.

There it is, darling.
See it?

Hi!

Isn't it just like
a fairyland?

Don't we live
in the most magical place?

We're like two angels
up in the sky,

smiling down
on all our friends.

Hi.

You say that
like you know it's me.

It is you.

Maybe it's good that
there's a lot of people here.

Stick with me, kiddo.

She's putty in my hands.

Watch where
you're driving.

Chaney.

Siddalee Walker,
free at last.

Thank God almighty.

Connor.

Willetta.

You know Connor.

Hi, Connor.

Come on, son, come with me.
We'll meet the Walker men.

Mama, that reporter--

Nope.

Truth hurts, kiddo.

That's all.

I'm sure I had it coming.

Mama, I--

Baby, there are some things

for which I don't expect
to be forgiven,

not by my children,

not even by God.

There are some things

for which it would be ludicrous
to say I'm sorry.

It'd be so....

So pale.

I guess I owe you an apology--

No, no, no,
you don't.

Don't say it.

I've been thinking
about what I would say to you

should we ever speak again.

I went through all the mean
things I could think of

to make you feel guilty.

You know how I am.

Mm-hmm.

I take a problem
and chew on it

until all the flavor's gone,

and then I stick it in my hair.

And then it dawned on me.

All those years...

that I prayed,

that I begged
on my hands and knees

for God
to make me more,

give me more,

make me better,

make me stronger,

make me saner,

make all my dreams come true.

I finally got an answer.

What?

You.

Right there
in one person,

all I've ever wanted
to be or do,

and there you are.

You came
right through me,

and I never even
realized.

I hate it when it's right
in front of your face

and you miss it, don't you?

You goddamn marry
that boy.

Oh, I will.

I know I've got

the "worst mother in the world"
prize

sewed up and in the bag,

but I'd still like to be there.

Well, maybe
we could have it here?

Oh!

That would just be...

convenient.
I could walk to it.

You could.

Here.

I've been waiting
to give you that.

I almost lost it once,
but I got it back.

Mm...

It's so beautiful, Mama.
Thank you.

Now, there's just one more thing
that I want to ask you,

and then I want you to go dance
till your socks melt.

Okay.

But I want you to be
totally honest.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Okay.

Do I look like
I've gained weight?

No.

Actually, I think you may be
too thin.

God love you, darling.

Okay, now you can go
have some fun.

Okay.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Make a wish.

This way.

Put your game face on.

You are now in the inner sanctum
of the temple of the Ya-Ya.

Enter.

Bring forth
the petite.

As you have seen
the secret Ya-Ya documents

and heard
secret Ya-Ya secrets,

it is now time for you
to give yourself to nature

and heed
the Ya-Ya call.

[GIGGLES]

Silence.

Sorry.

You are about to be
initiated

as a full-fledged intimate
of the secret order.

We wear headdresses

of the queens
who have gone before us,

who ask us
to carry on their magic.

They come
from Indian holy grounds,

the jungles
of the ancients,

the prairies
of the Norwegians,

and the shores
of Gitche Gumee.

Gitche Gumee.

Gitche Gumee.

Countess Singing Cloud,
bring forth the chalice.

[SPEAKS
IN A MAKE-BELIEVE LANGUAGE]

Okay, what the hell is this?

This is the blood
of our people.

Oh. Okay.

The wolf people,

the alligator people,

and the crazy people

from whom
we gain our strength

to rule all worlds.

Oh, now,

are we gonna do that again?

Hell, yes.

Ow!

Of course we are.

Guys,
that's how disease is spread.

Oh, honey, the only disease

that could survive
our bloodstream

is alcoholism.

Is that it? I can't tell
if that's a scar or wrinkle.

Yeah, that's a wrinkle, pal.

There's some scars
behind your ears, though.

Shut up, Caro.

Can't believe y'all are opening
your old Ya-Ya wounds for me.

Old wounds heal, pal.

There are people
in the world

who are here
to save you

when you need saving,

cover your ass
when it needs covering,

and are always there

when you need someone
to lean on.

We are the mighty
Ya-Ya priestesses.

Let no man put us under.

Now our blood flows
through each other

as it has
for all eternity.

Loyal forever,
we raise our voices

in the words of mumbo gumbo.

Ya-Ya!

Nice here on the porch,
isn't it?

Love it.

I love you, Mama.

I love you too, sunflower.

[ ♪♪♪ ]