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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,508 -(farts) -MALORY: Oh, for the... 2 00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:09,977 -That's disgusting. -(chuckles): Me? 3 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,979 You're the one that's covered in farts. 4 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,847 And why couldn't you put on some clothes 5 00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:16,684 -before we left the village? -What, seriously? 6 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,952 You think I'd be caught dead dressed like a Nazi? 7 00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:21,655 Those old cannibal women had washed and folded 8 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:22,990 your regular clothes. 9 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,825 Well, it's also hard to go back 10 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,960 after you taste the freedom of the coconut. 11 00:00:26,994 --> 00:00:29,730 -PAM: Master coconut! -Nobody gets that! 12 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,132 You know what I don't get? 13 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,933 The fact that you're not really a goddess? 14 00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:34,335 I was gonna say fractions. 15 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,003 I was gonna say fractions. 16 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,172 I don't get why she's even with us. 17 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:40,208 -I'm here because... -Because I say so. 18 00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,410 So end of story. 19 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,011 In return for which... 20 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,547 (quietly): I split the idol with you 50/50. 21 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:47,881 I... wait, no. 22 00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:50,218 I-I'd split it with you 50/50. 23 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:53,053 -It comes out the same. -Yeah, but-- what, wait, what? 24 00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,055 You, me and the idol makes three. 25 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:56,624 What do you say? 26 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:59,193 -Wait, what are they saying? -ARCHER: Nothing. 27 00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:01,162 No, what are you talking about? 28 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:02,796 -Nothing! -Okay! 29 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,498 -God! -There are no gods! 30 00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,033 Will you idiots hold it down? 31 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,069 -(creature snarling) -(gasps) -Mon dieu. 32 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:10,504 Jesus, loud much? 33 00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,840 Are you trying to attract apex predators? 34 00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:14,642 Oh, please. I just wiped out 35 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:17,411 a literal goddamn boatload of Nazi stormtroopers. 36 00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:20,013 Doesn't get much more apex than that. 37 00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:24,485 (chuckles menacingly) 38 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,420 All right, Mr. Tough Guy. 39 00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,055 You don't have to chuckle menacingly. 40 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,390 What? I wasn't. 41 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,025 Holy shit, look! There it is. 42 00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,061 (all gasping, muttering) 43 00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:38,932 Okay, so, just so we're all on the same page, 44 00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:41,835 we're walking into an active volcano. 45 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,404 (all mutter agreement) 46 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,506 NOAH: Well, that's where the idol is, so... 47 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,608 I was double-checking, Noah! 48 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,243 (chuckles, sighs) 49 00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:51,812 I don't know why you make me so furious. 50 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,114 For me, it's his face. 51 00:01:56,184 --> 00:01:58,619 ♪ 52 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:37,157 (straining, grunting) 53 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,962 (sighs) Oh, come on. 54 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,531 -Put your backs into it. -(grunts) 55 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,766 If I put my back in any more, 56 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,801 it's gonna come gooshin' out my front. 57 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,571 Oui, c'est impossible. I give up. 58 00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:52,406 -How French. -You know... 59 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,841 So what? We just sit here 60 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,076 and wait for a clue from a goddamn thrush? 61 00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,679 -(scoffs) Thrushes. -Uh, what are you talking about? 62 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:01,782 -Like at the portal of Erebor. -Uh... 63 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,951 Jesus, dummy, in The Hobbit. 64 00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,453 -The what? -Wait, what? -Seriously? 65 00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:06,954 Holy shit, that's right. 66 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,756 He's been on this crummy island four years, 67 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,324 so he's never heard of The Hobbit. 68 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,692 Which, as we all know, 69 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,962 was published just last year in 1937. 70 00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,798 So, what is it? A motion picture or...? 71 00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:19,667 -(groans loudly) -Damn it, bird! 72 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,669 -It's a book. -It's the book. 73 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,704 It's got dwarves. It's got goblins. 74 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,639 It's got wizards. It's got, um... 75 00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,308 -Hobbits? -Hobbits! 76 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,410 Huh. You guys don't really strike me as readers, 77 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,445 especially of fantasy. 78 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:32,846 That's because you're an asshole. 79 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,515 Might I make a suggestion? 80 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,116 I know what you're gonna say, Mother, 81 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,686 but even if we had enough people to act out the book, 82 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,220 we don't have time. 83 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,223 -Yeah, it's long as shit. -I don't see that as a negative. 84 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,192 -I don't know. All those songs. -Eh. 85 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,960 Well, as stupid as this is, 86 00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:50,063 I was going to suggest pulling on the door. 87 00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:52,400 Goddamn it. 88 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:57,505 -Mm-hmm. -Whoa! -Goddamn. 89 00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:59,573 Lucky guess. Okay, let's see here. 90 00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:02,009 (wings fluttering) 91 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,577 Um... 92 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:06,880 -(screaming) -Jesus Christ! 93 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,249 -Noah! -Yeah? 94 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:12,219 (chuckles) You're on point, buddy. 95 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,590 Wunderbar. 96 00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:19,327 Those damn fools are going to lead me straight to the idol. 97 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:23,030 (sniffs) And themselves straight to hell. 98 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,698 (cackles) 99 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,841 NOAH: Are you crazy? 100 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,643 It's pitch black down there. 101 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,578 Noah, if I have to ask you again, 102 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,113 -it's gonna be in the form of a shove. -But... (grunts) 103 00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,950 What the...? 104 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:46,887 No, no, no, no, no! 105 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,089 Noah, go open the door. 106 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,959 NOAH: How? I can't even see my hand in front of my face. 107 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:54,728 ARCHER: Well, then I guess you can't see my fists 108 00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,464 swinging around like a goddamn windmill 109 00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,699 -as I walk toward you, so... -(arms swinging) 110 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,267 -(punch lands) -PAM: Ow! 111 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,603 -ARCHER: Oh. -PAM: Goddamn it! 112 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,672 -ARCHER: Did I get you? -PAM: What do you think? 113 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,239 -RAY: Seriously? -KRIEGER: God, moron. -(Cheryl laughs) 114 00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:08,108 ARCHER: Oh, come on. I was trying to hit Noah. 115 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,443 MALORY: For the love of God, will...! 116 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,211 -CHERYL: There is no-- Ow! -(punch lands) 117 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,914 MALORY: Now will someone open the door? 118 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:16,249 CHERYL: Okay! God! 119 00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,318 -(footsteps) -(rock grinds) 120 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,557 (oohing, gasping) 121 00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,726 I think the floor did that. 122 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,596 Well, it should make this a lot easier. 123 00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:31,965 What, a floor that when you step on it random shit happens? 124 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,301 Yeah, so I guess, everybody, watch your step. 125 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,803 Uh, that's it? 126 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,805 Um... watch your step and shut up? 127 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,573 -Yeah. Thanks. -Okay. -Real mature. 128 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:42,576 Oh, and I guess try not to bunch up. 129 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:46,480 Sauf toi Doudou, reste à côté de moi. 130 00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,482 Doudou? (gasps) 131 00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:50,083 -(all exclaiming) -What's happening? -Doudou! 132 00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,519 Oh, it's just like the ponies. 133 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:55,889 (laughs): Oh, man! That's hobbit as balls! 134 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,330 RAY: We must go back. We cannot just leave Doudou. 135 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,634 ARCHER: Well, not to split hairs, but he left us, so... 136 00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:08,702 -(rumbling) -Jesus Christ! -Oh, no. What? 137 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,838 Noah, what the shit was that? 138 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:15,543 Well, I'm not a volcanologist, and glad of it, am I right? 139 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:18,211 But the Mua Mua were always talking about how Tarako 140 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,747 was way overdue to erupt. 141 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,381 -(sighs) -Bad news. -Great. 142 00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,617 Oh, how would a bunch of cannibals know? 143 00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,986 -Oral tradition? -And, you know, technically, 144 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:29,389 -now you're all cannibals, so... -I had one little kebab. 145 00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,258 What were we supposed to do, insult them? 146 00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:34,995 -Plus, I was pretty hungry. -Can we just pick a direction? 147 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:41,569 Well, they're both pretty well lit. 148 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,671 -I say we turn back. -Quel choc. 149 00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:46,907 -Then go. Nobody's stopping you. -Fine. 150 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,544 Quoi? 151 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,082 (sighs) 152 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:58,051 -(speaks French) -So left? 153 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,753 (overlapping chatter) 154 00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:02,490 Okay, and was it just me, or when that big rumble happened 155 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:05,859 was everybody for a second like, "Oh, my God, Smaug"? 156 00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:07,394 -Yes! Right? -Who? 157 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,697 -Oh, my God. -KRIEGER: It's like... 158 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:11,364 CHERYL: He's got no frame of reference. 159 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:12,866 ARCHER: Smaug, dickhead! 160 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:16,704 The fire-breathing dragon who lives under the mountain. 161 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,305 (laughs) 162 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,111 (rumbling) 163 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,646 (gulps, chuckles) 164 00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,417 (sniffs, sighs) 165 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,786 (heavy footsteps) 166 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,087 -(rumbling) -Whoa. 167 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,956 -Goddamn it. -(gasping) 168 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,926 So, when you say "way overdue..." 169 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:41,829 I don't know, ten years? 10,000? 170 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,331 So, either way, probably not great. 171 00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,099 Ugh, look. 172 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,868 PAM: It's a dead end. 173 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,737 Damn it, I said we should go right. 174 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:50,938 No, you didn't. 175 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:54,407 Well? Okay, so let's double back. 176 00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,844 No, look, I think there's a door here. 177 00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,045 ALL: Where? 178 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,047 MALORY: And some crazy cannibal cartoons. 179 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,414 (gasps) Petroglyphs. 180 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:05,619 -(gasps) What do they say? -Um... uh... 181 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,420 -Noah! -Okay. 182 00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:11,024 It says, "This is the temple of the fire god Tarako, 183 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:12,459 "guarded by the tupua. 184 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,762 There's a powerful curse," 185 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:18,599 which the Mua Mua already told me about, so, uh... 186 00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,968 (laughs) That's pretty good. 187 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,770 -What?! -What does it say?! 188 00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:25,839 Well, it's a pun; it makes a play on the word for "curse," 189 00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,507 but also the word for "soup," 190 00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:29,276 but it's more like a stew, I guess. 191 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:30,944 Like, uh-- Oh. 192 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:34,114 We don't really have a word for it in Engl-- Ow! 193 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,849 We do have a word for it! "Stew"! 194 00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,517 Does it say how to open the door? 195 00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:40,854 -Yeah, it says push. -Idiot. 196 00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,455 KRIEGER: Wait, so... 197 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:46,293 do we want to talk about this curse, or-- What?! 198 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:49,029 (all oohing, gasping) 199 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:52,666 -Huh. -Well? Where's the damn idol? 200 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:56,203 -Um, Noah? -I don't kn-- Ow! 201 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,871 Then what the hell good are you?! 202 00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,840 I got us in the door, didn't I? 203 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,643 I think it's safe to assume we would've tried pushing on it. 204 00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,678 Maybe eventually, but... 205 00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:07,715 No, no, it's got to be here. Come on, help me look. 206 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:10,050 -Okay. -Okay, yeah. -All right. 207 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,619 Well, if you find a bar, 208 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,687 I'll take a Mai Tai, hold the fruit juice. 209 00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,522 -What the...?! -What?! -Uh... 210 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,558 Whoa! Look! Check it out! 211 00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,861 -Is it a bar? -Why would it be a bar? 212 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,162 Why wouldn't it? 213 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:25,398 This whole place is like a prehistoric Trader Vic's. 214 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,467 Ooh, I think her totem pole did it. 215 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,903 Uh, actually, totem poles are indige-- Ow! 216 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,405 Holy shit! Pam, sit on that one. 217 00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:37,911 Reynaud, sit on yours! 218 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,080 Okay, uh, lady whose life I ruined. 219 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:43,550 Oh, my God, I forgot about that. (chuckles) 220 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,252 -It's working. -Look at that. -Voila! 221 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,087 Noah, Princess, come on, go, go, go! 222 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:54,561 ARCHER: Holy shit. It's a giant emerald. 223 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,330 -(gasping) -(overlapping exclamations) 224 00:09:57,364 --> 00:10:00,267 Wait a minute, do emeralds glow in the dark? 225 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,670 No, but uranium does. 226 00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,738 -What? -Uranium? -Seriously? 227 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,207 I bet uranium's worth a jillion times more than emeralds. 228 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,377 -Sterling, wait! -What?! 229 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,212 It's radioactive. 230 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,081 Oh, of course. 231 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,249 That's what the whole "death soup" thing was about. 232 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,584 -Goddamn it, Noah. -Jesus, Noah! 233 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,587 The Mua Mua legend says anybody who touches the idol 234 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,857 starts puking and shitting blood and then, uh, melts. 235 00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:25,558 Now you tell us? 236 00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:28,495 -Also, ew. -Come to think of it, 237 00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,764 I don't know how anybody could've carved it. 238 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,533 Why would those cannibals let us come all this way 239 00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:36,403 to find the damn thing if they knew it would kill us? 240 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:39,606 I really can't stress how much they hate white people. 241 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,775 Even after we ate Nazis together? 242 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:44,845 Oh, yeah. I bet they're laughing their well-toned asses off. 243 00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:51,118 (hysterical laughter) 244 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,887 Well, then they're not really our friends. 245 00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,455 -Wow. -Had to be said. 246 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,490 Okay, so how do we get it out of here 247 00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,126 without shitting ourselves to death? 248 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,928 -We can roll it. -I don't know. 249 00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,462 -Lead! -Uh, lead? -Um... 250 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,732 -So stupid. -Like when you get an X-ray. 251 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,867 Hey that's right, lead's a natural radiation shield. 252 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,501 Hey, he's right. 253 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,337 -He's right? -Yeah, you heard the man. 254 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,805 Ugh! 255 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,673 So where are we going to find enough lead 256 00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:15,275 in this place to wrap it up? 257 00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:16,543 -(gun cocks) -(all gasp) -What? 258 00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:19,679 Perhaps I can help. 259 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,218 No, thank you. 260 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,626 -Merde! -(screams) -(squawks) 261 00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,328 -(grunts) -Ugh. 262 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:38,598 (laughs) 263 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:42,102 We got company! Late. Stupid. 264 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:44,137 -(grunts) -Hey, Fritz! 265 00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,306 You got company. 266 00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,475 (sighs) Goddamn it. 267 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:51,178 (laughs) 268 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:55,048 You are powerless against uber-Fuchs! 269 00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:57,650 So, hey, after we get out of here... 270 00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,152 You think we're gonna live through this? 271 00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,420 (chuckles) Why wouldn't we? 272 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,625 -Reloading. -Firing! 273 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:08,128 What the...? 274 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,130 (laughing) 275 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,702 Goddamn it! 276 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,704 It's not often you find a primitive people 277 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,539 who understand the callback. 278 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,675 (gasps) Oh, crap, I got to rewrite my thesis. 279 00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,344 Son of a... (grunts) 280 00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,880 (laughs) 281 00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:29,817 -(trigger clicking) -PAM: Ha-ha! 282 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,618 How do you like them apples?! 283 00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,926 -(all gasping) -Shit! 284 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,895 Ow! I don't like those apples at all! 285 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,097 Right? Could things get any worse? 286 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,433 -(rumbling) -(gasping) 287 00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,101 Maybe I am a goddess. 288 00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:50,437 -Ow! -MALORY: Thank you! 289 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,273 Was ist los?! 290 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,042 Holy shit, look! 291 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,281 -(all gasping) -PAM: Well, shit! 292 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,217 Check it out, lava. 293 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,619 Oh, I wonder if that's what the petroglyphs meant 294 00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,221 by "death soup." 295 00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:10,523 Oh, yeah, kinda makes sense. 296 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,225 I mean, if you think ab-- Ow! 297 00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,761 Guys, come on. That's dangerous. (gasps) 298 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:19,933 (laughs) Yes, fools, cower before me. 299 00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:24,204 Just like the world will cower before the German Reich 300 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:27,007 -once we have the idol! -Says who? 301 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,910 Says mein Fuhrer, Adolf Hitler! 302 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:32,712 The idol is pure uranium! 303 00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:35,648 And with it, we will construct a Wunderwaffe 304 00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:38,585 with the power to destroy entire cities! 305 00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,653 -Oh, typical. -Of what? 306 00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,189 I don't know, Nazis? 307 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,224 Oh, for the-- Will you do something? 308 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,826 Like what, play "Dem Bones" at him? 309 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:49,262 Oh, great, now that's stuck in my head. 310 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:50,697 (both gasp) 311 00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:52,399 -(maniacal laugh) -(trigger clicking) 312 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:55,702 Was ist...? Ugh! Verdammt Scheidreck... 313 00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:59,006 -Look, he's empty, too! -Well, yeah, but... 314 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,540 (panting) 315 00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,477 -(gasping) -(alarmed cries) 316 00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,613 He's still a giant robot. 317 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,781 -Seriously? -Yeah. Look at him. 318 00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:10,383 So, you're not gonna do anything? 319 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,019 Well, I'm no good to us dead. 320 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,554 -What good are you alive? -(gasps) 321 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,124 (laughs maniacally) 322 00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:19,692 Ja! 323 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,635 (laughs) 324 00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,703 And what do you think you're doing? 325 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:33,540 I have company. 326 00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:36,743 -Goddamn it! -Well... 327 00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,913 -(screams) -(all gasping, exclaiming) 328 00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:41,648 Pam! 329 00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:44,651 (laughs maniacally) Hyah! 330 00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:46,386 -(Archer screams) -OTHERS: No! 331 00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,388 Sterling! 332 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,092 (steady metallic banging) 333 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,832 PAM: That was your plan?! 334 00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:02,002 -It worked, didn't it? -I mean... 335 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,403 Get off me, you fool! 336 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,172 -Shut up! -(grunts) 337 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:08,075 Somebody do something. 338 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,110 I will go for help! 339 00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:13,546 Merci, asshole! 340 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,847 REYNAUD: Not a problem. 341 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,584 (gasps) Archer, it's too heavy. 342 00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:19,052 I cant hang on! 343 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,021 -(all gasp) -ARCHER: Hang on! 344 00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,922 No, that's what I'm saying. 345 00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,891 I'm saying it like "give me a second." 346 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,027 -Yeah, I get that, but... -Jesus Christ, 347 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,962 -will you shut up? -Nein, nein, nein! 348 00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,663 What are you doing?! 349 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,565 ARCHER: Sending you... 350 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,334 Sterling! 351 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,804 -...to hell! (grunts) -(Cyril screaming) 352 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:38,871 -Sterling! -(all gasp) 353 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:44,344 Oh, for the love of God! 354 00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:47,380 (grunts) This actually weighs the same. 355 00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,549 I... realize that, idiot. 356 00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,918 Oh, I'm the idiot? 357 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,022 -I mean... -What? Wait. No, no, no. 358 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,956 Archer, no! Hang on. 359 00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,725 Oh, hey, princess. 360 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:01,061 Listen... listen, if we ever meet again... 361 00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:03,463 -Sterling, no! -(all shouting) -Please! 362 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,498 ...just remember this. 363 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:08,768 We were this close to banging. 364 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,072 No, we weren't. 365 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:15,108 Yes, we-- Whoa! 366 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:18,445 -Sterling! -Archer! 367 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,646 (screaming) 368 00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:25,352 (chuckles) 369 00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,420 This close. 370 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,426 ♪ 371 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,458 ♪ 372 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,893 (light crackling softly) 373 00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,479 ♪ 374 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,895 (computer beeping) 375 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,106 (clanking, hissing) 376 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,896 (light buzzing) 377 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:53,700 (clicking dry tongue) Ah. Ah, ah. 378 00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:58,505 Oh, for the-- Come on, seriously? 379 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,440 What, you couldn't find a snow globe? 380 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,875 MALORY: Oh, quit your bitching. 381 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:05,912 Good morning... Mother! 382 00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,880 Shut up. 383 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:40,480 Made in Georgia. 384 00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:47,119 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 27097

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