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1
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,508
-(farts)
-MALORY: Oh, for the...
2
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:09,977
-That's disgusting.
-(chuckles): Me?
3
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,979
You're the one
that's covered in farts.
4
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,847
And why couldn't you
put on some clothes
5
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:16,684
-before we left the village?
-What, seriously?
6
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,952
You think I'd be caught dead
dressed like a Nazi?
7
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:21,655
Those old cannibal women
had washed and folded
8
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:22,990
your regular clothes.
9
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,825
Well, it's also hard to go back
10
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,960
after you taste
the freedom of the coconut.
11
00:00:26,994 --> 00:00:29,730
-PAM: Master coconut!
-Nobody gets that!
12
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,132
You know what I don't get?
13
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,933
The fact that you're not
really a goddess?
14
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:34,335
I was gonna say fractions.
15
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,003
I was gonna say
fractions.
16
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,172
I don't get why
she's even with us.
17
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:40,208
-I'm here because...
-Because I say so.
18
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,410
So end of story.
19
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,011
In return for which...
20
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,547
(quietly): I split the idol
with you 50/50.
21
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:47,881
I... wait, no.
22
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:50,218
I-I'd split it with you 50/50.
23
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:53,053
-It comes out the same.
-Yeah, but-- what, wait, what?
24
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,055
You, me and the idol
makes three.
25
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:56,624
What do you say?
26
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:59,193
-Wait, what are they saying?
-ARCHER: Nothing.
27
00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:01,162
No, what are you talking about?
28
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:02,796
-Nothing!
-Okay!
29
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,498
-God!
-There are no gods!
30
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,033
Will you idiots hold it down?
31
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,069
-(creature snarling)
-(gasps)
-Mon dieu.
32
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:10,504
Jesus, loud much?
33
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,840
Are you trying to attract
apex predators?
34
00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:14,642
Oh, please.
I just wiped out
35
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:17,411
a literal goddamn boatload
of Nazi stormtroopers.
36
00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:20,013
Doesn't get much more apex
than that.
37
00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:24,485
(chuckles menacingly)
38
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,420
All right, Mr. Tough Guy.
39
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,055
You don't have
to chuckle menacingly.
40
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,390
What? I wasn't.
41
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,025
Holy shit, look! There it is.
42
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,061
(all gasping, muttering)
43
00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:38,932
Okay, so, just so we're
all on the same page,
44
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:41,835
we're walking
into an active volcano.
45
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,404
(all mutter agreement)
46
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,506
NOAH: Well, that's where
the idol is, so...
47
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,608
I was double-checking, Noah!
48
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,243
(chuckles, sighs)
49
00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:51,812
I don't know why
you make me so furious.
50
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,114
For me, it's his face.
51
00:01:56,184 --> 00:01:58,619
♪
52
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:37,157
(straining, grunting)
53
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,962
(sighs) Oh, come on.
54
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,531
-Put your backs into it.
-(grunts)
55
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,766
If I put my back in any more,
56
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,801
it's gonna come
gooshin' out my front.
57
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,571
Oui, c'est impossible.
I give up.
58
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:52,406
-How French.
-You know...
59
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,841
So what? We just sit here
60
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,076
and wait for a clue
from a goddamn thrush?
61
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,679
-(scoffs) Thrushes.
-Uh, what are you talking about?
62
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:01,782
-Like at the portal of Erebor.
-Uh...
63
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,951
Jesus, dummy, in The Hobbit.
64
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,453
-The what?
-Wait, what?
-Seriously?
65
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:06,954
Holy shit, that's right.
66
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,756
He's been on this crummy island
four years,
67
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,324
so he's never heard
of The Hobbit.
68
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,692
Which, as we all know,
69
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,962
was published
just last year in 1937.
70
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,798
So, what is it?
A motion picture or...?
71
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:19,667
-(groans loudly)
-Damn it, bird!
72
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,669
-It's a book.
-It's the book.
73
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,704
It's got dwarves.
It's got goblins.
74
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,639
It's got wizards.
It's got, um...
75
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,308
-Hobbits?
-Hobbits!
76
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,410
Huh. You guys don't really
strike me as readers,
77
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,445
especially of fantasy.
78
00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:32,846
That's because
you're an asshole.
79
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,515
Might I make a suggestion?
80
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,116
I know what you're
gonna say, Mother,
81
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,686
but even if we had enough people
to act out the book,
82
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,220
we don't have time.
83
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,223
-Yeah, it's long as shit.
-I don't see that as a negative.
84
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,192
-I don't know. All those songs.
-Eh.
85
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,960
Well, as stupid as this is,
86
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:50,063
I was going to suggest
pulling on the door.
87
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:52,400
Goddamn it.
88
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:57,505
-Mm-hmm. -Whoa! -Goddamn.
89
00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:59,573
Lucky guess.
Okay, let's see here.
90
00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:02,009
(wings fluttering)
91
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,577
Um...
92
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:06,880
-(screaming)
-Jesus Christ!
93
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,249
-Noah!
-Yeah?
94
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:12,219
(chuckles)
You're on point, buddy.
95
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,590
Wunderbar.
96
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:19,327
Those damn fools are going
to lead me straight to the idol.
97
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:23,030
(sniffs) And themselves
straight to hell.
98
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,698
(cackles)
99
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,841
NOAH:
Are you crazy?
100
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,643
It's pitch black down there.
101
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,578
Noah, if I have
to ask you again,
102
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,113
-it's gonna be in the form
of a shove.
-But... (grunts)
103
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,950
What the...?
104
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:46,887
No, no, no, no, no!
105
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,089
Noah, go open the door.
106
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,959
NOAH: How? I can't even see
my hand in front of my face.
107
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:54,728
ARCHER: Well, then I guess
you can't see my fists
108
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,464
swinging around
like a goddamn windmill
109
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,699
-as I walk toward you, so...
-(arms swinging)
110
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,267
-(punch lands)
-PAM: Ow!
111
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,603
-ARCHER: Oh.
-PAM: Goddamn it!
112
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,672
-ARCHER: Did I get you?
-PAM: What do you think?
113
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,239
-RAY: Seriously?
-KRIEGER: God, moron.
-(Cheryl laughs)
114
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:08,108
ARCHER: Oh, come on.
I was trying to hit Noah.
115
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,443
MALORY: For the love
of God, will...!
116
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,211
-CHERYL: There is no-- Ow!
-(punch lands)
117
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,914
MALORY: Now will someone
open the door?
118
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:16,249
CHERYL:
Okay! God!
119
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,318
-(footsteps)
-(rock grinds)
120
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,557
(oohing, gasping)
121
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,726
I think the floor did that.
122
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,596
Well, it should make this
a lot easier.
123
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:31,965
What, a floor that when you step
on it random shit happens?
124
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,301
Yeah, so I guess,
everybody, watch your step.
125
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,803
Uh, that's it?
126
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,805
Um... watch your step
and shut up?
127
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,573
-Yeah. Thanks.
-Okay.
-Real mature.
128
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:42,576
Oh, and I guess
try not to bunch up.
129
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:46,480
Sauf toi Doudou,
reste à côté de moi.
130
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,482
Doudou? (gasps)
131
00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:50,083
-(all exclaiming)
-What's happening?
-Doudou!
132
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,519
Oh, it's just like the ponies.
133
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:55,889
(laughs): Oh, man!
That's hobbit as balls!
134
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,330
RAY: We must go back.
We cannot just leave Doudou.
135
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,634
ARCHER: Well, not to split
hairs, but he left us, so...
136
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:08,702
-(rumbling)
-Jesus Christ!
-Oh, no. What?
137
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,838
Noah, what the shit was that?
138
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:15,543
Well, I'm not a volcanologist,
and glad of it, am I right?
139
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:18,211
But the Mua Mua were always
talking about how Tarako
140
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,747
was way overdue to erupt.
141
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,381
-(sighs)
-Bad news.
-Great.
142
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,617
Oh, how would a bunch
of cannibals know?
143
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,986
-Oral tradition?
-And, you know, technically,
144
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:29,389
-now you're all cannibals, so...
-I had one little kebab.
145
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,258
What were we supposed to do,
insult them?
146
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:34,995
-Plus, I was pretty hungry.
-Can we just pick a direction?
147
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:41,569
Well, they're both
pretty well lit.
148
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,671
-I say we turn back.
-Quel choc.
149
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:46,907
-Then go. Nobody's stopping you.
-Fine.
150
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,544
Quoi?
151
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,082
(sighs)
152
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:58,051
-(speaks French)
-So left?
153
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,753
(overlapping chatter)
154
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:02,490
Okay, and was it just me,
or when that big rumble happened
155
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:05,859
was everybody for a second like,
"Oh, my God, Smaug"?
156
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:07,394
-Yes! Right?
-Who?
157
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,697
-Oh, my God.
-KRIEGER: It's like...
158
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:11,364
CHERYL:
He's got no frame of reference.
159
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:12,866
ARCHER:
Smaug, dickhead!
160
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:16,704
The fire-breathing dragon
who lives under the mountain.
161
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,305
(laughs)
162
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,111
(rumbling)
163
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,646
(gulps, chuckles)
164
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,417
(sniffs, sighs)
165
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,786
(heavy footsteps)
166
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,087
-(rumbling)
-Whoa.
167
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,956
-Goddamn it.
-(gasping)
168
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,926
So, when you say
"way overdue..."
169
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:41,829
I don't know, ten years? 10,000?
170
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,331
So, either way,
probably not great.
171
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,099
Ugh, look.
172
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,868
PAM:
It's a dead end.
173
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,737
Damn it, I said
we should go right.
174
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:50,938
No, you didn't.
175
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:54,407
Well? Okay, so let's
double back.
176
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,844
No, look,
I think there's a door here.
177
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,045
ALL:
Where?
178
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,047
MALORY: And some crazy
cannibal cartoons.
179
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,414
(gasps) Petroglyphs.
180
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:05,619
-(gasps) What do they say?
-Um... uh...
181
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,420
-Noah!
-Okay.
182
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:11,024
It says, "This is the temple
of the fire god Tarako,
183
00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:12,459
"guarded by the tupua.
184
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,762
There's a powerful curse,"
185
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:18,599
which the Mua Mua already
told me about, so, uh...
186
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,968
(laughs) That's pretty good.
187
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,770
-What?!
-What does it say?!
188
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:25,839
Well, it's a pun; it makes
a play on the word for "curse,"
189
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,507
but also the word for "soup,"
190
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:29,276
but it's more like
a stew, I guess.
191
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:30,944
Like, uh-- Oh.
192
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:34,114
We don't really have a word
for it in Engl-- Ow!
193
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,849
We do have a word for it!
"Stew"!
194
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,517
Does it say
how to open the door?
195
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:40,854
-Yeah, it says push.
-Idiot.
196
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,455
KRIEGER:
Wait, so...
197
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:46,293
do we want to talk about
this curse, or-- What?!
198
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:49,029
(all oohing, gasping)
199
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:52,666
-Huh.
-Well? Where's the damn idol?
200
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:56,203
-Um, Noah?
-I don't kn-- Ow!
201
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,871
Then what the hell
good are you?!
202
00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,840
I got us in the door, didn't I?
203
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,643
I think it's safe to assume
we would've tried pushing on it.
204
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,678
Maybe eventually, but...
205
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:07,715
No, no, it's got to be here.
Come on, help me look.
206
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:10,050
-Okay.
-Okay, yeah.
-All right.
207
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,619
Well, if you find a bar,
208
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,687
I'll take a Mai Tai,
hold the fruit juice.
209
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,522
-What the...?!
-What?!
-Uh...
210
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,558
Whoa! Look! Check it out!
211
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,861
-Is it a bar?
-Why would it be a bar?
212
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,162
Why wouldn't it?
213
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:25,398
This whole place is like
a prehistoric Trader Vic's.
214
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,467
Ooh, I think her
totem pole did it.
215
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,903
Uh, actually, totem poles
are indige-- Ow!
216
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,405
Holy shit! Pam, sit on that one.
217
00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:37,911
Reynaud, sit on yours!
218
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,080
Okay, uh,
lady whose life I ruined.
219
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:43,550
Oh, my God, I forgot about that.
(chuckles)
220
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,252
-It's working.
-Look at that.
-Voila!
221
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,087
Noah, Princess,
come on, go, go, go!
222
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:54,561
ARCHER: Holy shit.
It's a giant emerald.
223
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,330
-(gasping)
-(overlapping exclamations)
224
00:09:57,364 --> 00:10:00,267
Wait a minute,
do emeralds glow in the dark?
225
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,670
No, but uranium does.
226
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,738
-What?
-Uranium?
-Seriously?
227
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,207
I bet uranium's worth a jillion
times more than emeralds.
228
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,377
-Sterling, wait!
-What?!
229
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,212
It's radioactive.
230
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,081
Oh, of course.
231
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,249
That's what the whole
"death soup" thing was about.
232
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,584
-Goddamn it, Noah.
-Jesus, Noah!
233
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,587
The Mua Mua legend says
anybody who touches the idol
234
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,857
starts puking and shitting blood
and then, uh, melts.
235
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:25,558
Now you tell us?
236
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:28,495
-Also, ew.
-Come to think of it,
237
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,764
I don't know how anybody
could've carved it.
238
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,533
Why would those cannibals
let us come all this way
239
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:36,403
to find the damn thing
if they knew it would kill us?
240
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:39,606
I really can't stress how much
they hate white people.
241
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,775
Even after we ate
Nazis together?
242
00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:44,845
Oh, yeah. I bet they're laughing
their well-toned asses off.
243
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:51,118
(hysterical laughter)
244
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,887
Well, then they're
not really our friends.
245
00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,455
-Wow.
-Had to be said.
246
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,490
Okay, so how do we
get it out of here
247
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,126
without shitting
ourselves to death?
248
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,928
-We can roll it.
-I don't know.
249
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,462
-Lead!
-Uh, lead?
-Um...
250
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,732
-So stupid.
-Like when you get an X-ray.
251
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,867
Hey that's right, lead's
a natural radiation shield.
252
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,501
Hey, he's right.
253
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,337
-He's right?
-Yeah, you heard the man.
254
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,805
Ugh!
255
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,673
So where are we going
to find enough lead
256
00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:15,275
in this place to wrap it up?
257
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:16,543
-(gun cocks)
-(all gasp)
-What?
258
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:19,679
Perhaps I can help.
259
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,218
No, thank you.
260
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,626
-Merde!
-(screams)
-(squawks)
261
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,328
-(grunts)
-Ugh.
262
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:38,598
(laughs)
263
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:42,102
We got company! Late. Stupid.
264
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:44,137
-(grunts)
-Hey, Fritz!
265
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,306
You got company.
266
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,475
(sighs) Goddamn it.
267
00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:51,178
(laughs)
268
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:55,048
You are powerless
against uber-Fuchs!
269
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:57,650
So, hey, after we
get out of here...
270
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,152
You think we're gonna
live through this?
271
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,420
(chuckles) Why wouldn't we?
272
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,625
-Reloading.
-Firing!
273
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:08,128
What the...?
274
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,130
(laughing)
275
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,702
Goddamn it!
276
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,704
It's not often
you find a primitive people
277
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,539
who understand the callback.
278
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,675
(gasps) Oh, crap,
I got to rewrite my thesis.
279
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,344
Son of a... (grunts)
280
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,880
(laughs)
281
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:29,817
-(trigger clicking)
-PAM: Ha-ha!
282
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,618
How do you like them apples?!
283
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,926
-(all gasping)
-Shit!
284
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,895
Ow! I don't like
those apples at all!
285
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,097
Right?
Could things get any worse?
286
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,433
-(rumbling)
-(gasping)
287
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,101
Maybe I am a goddess.
288
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:50,437
-Ow!
-MALORY: Thank you!
289
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,273
Was ist los?!
290
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,042
Holy shit, look!
291
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,281
-(all gasping)
-PAM: Well, shit!
292
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,217
Check it out, lava.
293
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,619
Oh, I wonder if that's
what the petroglyphs meant
294
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,221
by "death soup."
295
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:10,523
Oh, yeah, kinda makes sense.
296
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,225
I mean, if you think ab-- Ow!
297
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,761
Guys, come on.
That's dangerous. (gasps)
298
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:19,933
(laughs) Yes, fools,
cower before me.
299
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:24,204
Just like the world will cower
before the German Reich
300
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:27,007
-once we have the idol!
-Says who?
301
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,910
Says mein Fuhrer, Adolf Hitler!
302
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:32,712
The idol is pure uranium!
303
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:35,648
And with it, we will construct
a Wunderwaffe
304
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:38,585
with the power to destroy
entire cities!
305
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,653
-Oh, typical.
-Of what?
306
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,189
I don't know, Nazis?
307
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,224
Oh, for the--
Will you do something?
308
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,826
Like what, play
"Dem Bones" at him?
309
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:49,262
Oh, great, now that's
stuck in my head.
310
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:50,697
(both gasp)
311
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:52,399
-(maniacal laugh)
-(trigger clicking)
312
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:55,702
Was ist...? Ugh!
Verdammt Scheidreck...
313
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:59,006
-Look, he's empty, too!
-Well, yeah, but...
314
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,540
(panting)
315
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,477
-(gasping)
-(alarmed cries)
316
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,613
He's still a giant robot.
317
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,781
-Seriously?
-Yeah. Look at him.
318
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:10,383
So, you're not gonna
do anything?
319
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,019
Well, I'm no good to us dead.
320
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,554
-What good are you alive?
-(gasps)
321
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,124
(laughs maniacally)
322
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:19,692
Ja!
323
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,635
(laughs)
324
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,703
And what do you think
you're doing?
325
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:33,540
I have company.
326
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:36,743
-Goddamn it!
-Well...
327
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,913
-(screams)
-(all gasping, exclaiming)
328
00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:41,648
Pam!
329
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:44,651
(laughs maniacally)
Hyah!
330
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:46,386
-(Archer screams)
-OTHERS: No!
331
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,388
Sterling!
332
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,092
(steady metallic banging)
333
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,832
PAM:
That was your plan?!
334
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:02,002
-It worked, didn't it?
-I mean...
335
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,403
Get off me, you fool!
336
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,172
-Shut up!
-(grunts)
337
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:08,075
Somebody do something.
338
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,110
I will go for help!
339
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:13,546
Merci, asshole!
340
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,847
REYNAUD:
Not a problem.
341
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,584
(gasps)
Archer, it's too heavy.
342
00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:19,052
I cant hang on!
343
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,021
-(all gasp)
-ARCHER: Hang on!
344
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,922
No, that's what I'm saying.
345
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,891
I'm saying it like
"give me a second."
346
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,027
-Yeah, I get that, but...
-Jesus Christ,
347
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,962
-will you shut up?
-Nein, nein, nein!
348
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,663
What are you doing?!
349
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,565
ARCHER:
Sending you...
350
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,334
Sterling!
351
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,804
-...to hell! (grunts)
-(Cyril screaming)
352
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:38,871
-Sterling!
-(all gasp)
353
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:44,344
Oh, for the love of God!
354
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:47,380
(grunts)
This actually weighs the same.
355
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,549
I... realize that, idiot.
356
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,918
Oh, I'm the idiot?
357
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,022
-I mean...
-What? Wait. No, no, no.
358
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,956
Archer, no! Hang on.
359
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,725
Oh, hey, princess.
360
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:01,061
Listen... listen,
if we ever meet again...
361
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:03,463
-Sterling, no!
-(all shouting)
-Please!
362
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,498
...just remember this.
363
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:08,768
We were this close to banging.
364
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,072
No, we weren't.
365
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:15,108
Yes, we-- Whoa!
366
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:18,445
-Sterling!
-Archer!
367
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,646
(screaming)
368
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:25,352
(chuckles)
369
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,420
This close.
370
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,426
♪
371
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,458
♪
372
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,893
(light crackling softly)
373
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,479
♪
374
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,895
(computer beeping)
375
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,106
(clanking, hissing)
376
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,896
(light buzzing)
377
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:53,700
(clicking dry tongue)
Ah. Ah, ah.
378
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:58,505
Oh, for the--
Come on, seriously?
379
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,440
What, you couldn't find
a snow globe?
380
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,875
MALORY:
Oh, quit your bitching.
381
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:05,912
Good morning... Mother!
382
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,880
Shut up.
383
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:40,480
Made in Georgia.
384
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:47,119
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