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1
00:00:04,667 --> 00:00:06,667
[***]
2
00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:14,534
Okay, one time,
Randy Beaman's sister,
3
00:00:14,534 --> 00:00:16,834
see, one time, she was making
a really ugly face.
4
00:00:16,834 --> 00:00:18,100
And Randy Beaman's mom said:
5
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:20,734
"Stop it. Your face will
get stuck like that."
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00:00:20,734 --> 00:00:22,000
And it did.
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00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,601
[CHUCKLES]
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00:00:23,601 --> 00:00:24,801
Okay, bye.
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00:00:30,901 --> 00:00:32,467
[***]
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00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:36,167
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *
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00:00:36,167 --> 00:00:38,801
* And we're zany to the max *
12
00:00:38,801 --> 00:00:40,567
* So just sit back and relax *
13
00:00:40,567 --> 00:00:42,234
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *
14
00:00:42,234 --> 00:00:44,634
* We're Animaniacs *
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00:00:44,634 --> 00:00:46,434
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *
16
00:00:46,434 --> 00:00:48,067
* And the Warner sister, Dot *
17
00:00:48,067 --> 00:00:51,067
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *
18
00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:53,734
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *
19
00:00:53,734 --> 00:00:55,467
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *
20
00:00:55,467 --> 00:00:56,667
* And now you know the plot *
21
00:00:56,667 --> 00:00:59,167
* We're Animaniacs *
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00:00:59,167 --> 00:01:02,167
* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *
23
00:01:02,167 --> 00:01:03,667
* Wakko packs away the snacks *
24
00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:05,267
* We've got wisecracks
By the stacks *
25
00:01:05,267 --> 00:01:07,234
* We're Animaniacs *
26
00:01:08,367 --> 00:01:09,567
* Meet Pinky and the Brain *
27
00:01:09,567 --> 00:01:11,067
* Who want to rule
The universe *
28
00:01:11,067 --> 00:01:12,434
* Goodfeathers flock together *
29
00:01:12,434 --> 00:01:13,934
* Slappy whacks 'em
With her purse *
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00:01:13,934 --> 00:01:15,267
* Buttons chases Mindy *
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00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:16,834
* While Rita sings a verse *
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00:01:16,834 --> 00:01:18,534
* The writers flipped
We have no script *
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00:01:18,534 --> 00:01:19,701
* Why bother to rehearse? *
34
00:01:19,701 --> 00:01:22,467
* We're Animaniacs *
35
00:01:22,467 --> 00:01:25,367
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *
36
00:01:25,367 --> 00:01:26,767
* We're zany to the max *
37
00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:28,434
* There's bologna
In our slacks *
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* We're Animan-y *
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00:01:30,033 --> 00:01:31,434
* Totally insane-y *
40
00:01:31,434 --> 00:01:32,901
*Here's the show's name-y*
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00:01:32,901 --> 00:01:35,167
* Animaniacs *
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* Those are the facts *
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[***]
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SQUIT:
As far back as Pesto
could remember,
45
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,767
his mom lived in a retirement
roost in Miami Beach, Florida.
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And when he got word
she was getting remarried,
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00:01:52,801 --> 00:01:55,234
he flipped, and we flapped down
there for the wedding.
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00:01:55,234 --> 00:01:56,367
At Ma's age,
49
00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:58,367
she's got no business
dipsy-doodling around
50
00:01:58,367 --> 00:02:00,000
with some old Miami viceroy.
51
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,901
SQUIT:
Moms shouldn't date
or get married.
52
00:02:01,901 --> 00:02:03,501
They should just stay moms.
53
00:02:03,501 --> 00:02:06,367
Forget about it.
Moms are pigeons too.
54
00:02:06,367 --> 00:02:09,067
Hey, there's Ma's roost. Ma!
55
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:15,234
Pesto! Oh, my precious
little squab.
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00:02:15,234 --> 00:02:17,534
[SMOOCHING]
57
00:02:17,534 --> 00:02:19,367
Yeah, yeah.
Hi, Ma, how you doing?
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00:02:19,367 --> 00:02:20,467
Bobby.
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00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:24,868
[COOS]
60
00:02:24,868 --> 00:02:26,868
Who is this bird?
61
00:02:26,868 --> 00:02:28,100
That's Squit.
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00:02:29,534 --> 00:02:32,100
You are quite
the looker, Squit.
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00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:33,734
[GROWLS]
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00:02:33,734 --> 00:02:35,667
[GRUNTING]
65
00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:38,167
What a beautiful day
for a wedding.
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00:02:38,167 --> 00:02:42,501
Pesto, I want you should meet
Steven Seagull.
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00:02:42,501 --> 00:02:44,300
Steven Seagull?
68
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:45,934
[ALL LAUGH]
69
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,634
Steven's my fianc�.
70
00:02:48,634 --> 00:02:52,067
What?! You are marrying my Ma?
71
00:02:52,067 --> 00:02:53,534
How old are you? Fifteen?
72
00:02:53,534 --> 00:02:55,133
I'm in my mid-20s.
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Abe Vigoda!
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00:02:56,868 --> 00:02:58,033
Don't worry, Pesto.
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00:02:58,033 --> 00:02:59,868
I'll be a good father to ya.
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00:02:59,868 --> 00:03:02,200
[GRUNTING]
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00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,634
[YELLS]
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00:03:03,634 --> 00:03:05,067
Pesto's cranium's cooked!
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00:03:05,067 --> 00:03:06,767
BOBBY:
Let's dunk him!
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00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:12,767
Steven, while I get preened
for the wedding,
81
00:03:12,767 --> 00:03:14,167
why don't you take Pesto
82
00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:16,701
and his friends
on a sightseeing tour?
83
00:03:16,701 --> 00:03:17,701
Love to.
84
00:03:18,868 --> 00:03:20,033
Come on, Pesto!
85
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,234
We're going
on a father-son outing.
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00:03:22,234 --> 00:03:24,234
[***]
87
00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:28,234
My ma is not marrying
no buck-beaked,
88
00:03:28,234 --> 00:03:30,767
prepubescent gull
fresh out of the egg!
89
00:03:30,767 --> 00:03:31,968
[CLAPS]
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00:03:31,968 --> 00:03:33,467
Get over it, Pesto.
91
00:03:33,467 --> 00:03:36,300
Let your ma marry
who she wants.
92
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,734
There's no way
to stop it.
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00:03:37,734 --> 00:03:41,367
Unless Mr. Steven Seagull
has a little accident.
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00:03:41,367 --> 00:03:43,367
[***]
95
00:03:47,701 --> 00:03:49,701
[BIRDS SQUAWKING]
96
00:03:49,701 --> 00:03:52,767
[MONKEYS SCREECHING]
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00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:56,267
STEVEN:
Son, this is the famous
Florida Everglades.
98
00:03:56,267 --> 00:03:58,501
Alligators live in gator holes
like that one.
99
00:03:59,501 --> 00:04:01,901
I don't see no gator, Dad.
100
00:04:01,901 --> 00:04:03,400
Why don't you make
like a father
101
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,634
and go in there
and get one out for me?
102
00:04:05,634 --> 00:04:07,734
Well, it's dangerous,
103
00:04:07,734 --> 00:04:09,667
but I'll do it for you, son.
104
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,267
STEVEN:
Nobody home!
105
00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:16,567
What kind of a father takes
a son to see a gator
106
00:04:16,567 --> 00:04:18,033
and there's no gator, huh?
107
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,000
Uh-oh.
108
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,968
Wha--? What?
What'd I do?
109
00:04:23,701 --> 00:04:24,901
[SCREAMS]
110
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,801
[GULPS]
111
00:04:29,801 --> 00:04:31,868
Let me out of here!
Take that!
112
00:04:31,868 --> 00:04:33,801
And that!
Pastaroni al dente!
113
00:04:33,801 --> 00:04:35,734
Let me out,
you big demented reptile,
114
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,200
or I'll whack you
to a shoe store.
115
00:04:38,734 --> 00:04:41,300
Ptooie!
[YELLING]
116
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:45,934
My son defeated an alligator.
I love that kid.
117
00:04:47,467 --> 00:04:51,434
Son, this is the famous
Joe the Stone Crab Restaurant.
118
00:04:54,968 --> 00:04:57,334
It's a terrific place
to scavenge for food.
119
00:04:57,334 --> 00:05:00,067
Oh, yeah?
I don't see no food, Dad.
120
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:01,534
Why don't you make
like a father
121
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:03,434
and go inside
and get some for me?
122
00:05:03,434 --> 00:05:05,767
Well, it's dangerous,
123
00:05:05,767 --> 00:05:07,300
but I'll do it for you, son.
124
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,200
I hope that gull meets up
with the chef.
125
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,834
Then it's bye-bye, birdie.
126
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,901
[CHUCKLES]
127
00:05:17,634 --> 00:05:19,567
Bada bing.
He bagged a bun.
128
00:05:19,567 --> 00:05:21,801
Way to go,
Steven Seagull.
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00:05:21,801 --> 00:05:24,200
Even a Goodfeather couldn't
have pulled off that stunt.
130
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,200
Know what I'm saying?
131
00:05:27,868 --> 00:05:29,300
I could do better
than that.
132
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:30,601
No need to, son.
133
00:05:30,601 --> 00:05:32,133
There's plenty for all of us.
134
00:05:32,133 --> 00:05:34,267
Oh, yeah? Yeah?
I'll show ya.
135
00:05:37,801 --> 00:05:39,100
[ALL SCREAM]
136
00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:43,467
Stinky bird!
137
00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:45,501
Take that.
138
00:05:45,501 --> 00:05:48,801
And that, and that,
you vile species of stink.
139
00:05:48,801 --> 00:05:50,968
[***]
140
00:05:50,968 --> 00:05:52,667
[FLIES BUZZING]
141
00:05:57,467 --> 00:06:00,467
Boy, Pesto sure
is a great son.
142
00:06:00,467 --> 00:06:02,501
He beaked us two more loaves.
143
00:06:02,501 --> 00:06:04,567
That's it!
Let me out of here.
144
00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:05,934
I get my wings on that human,
145
00:06:05,934 --> 00:06:07,667
I'll whack him
to cooking school.
146
00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:08,667
Fagioli!
147
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:12,033
That's my boy.
148
00:06:12,033 --> 00:06:14,167
From here we should be able
to see dolphins run.
149
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:16,467
I don't see nothing, Dad.
150
00:06:16,467 --> 00:06:18,100
Why don't you make
like a father
151
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:20,667
and dive in the water
and scare some up for me?
152
00:06:20,667 --> 00:06:22,868
Well, it's dangerous,
153
00:06:22,868 --> 00:06:24,734
but I'll do it for you, son.
154
00:06:28,367 --> 00:06:30,367
[***]
155
00:06:32,567 --> 00:06:34,267
Whoo! Hoo, hoo, hoo.
156
00:06:34,267 --> 00:06:37,367
Come on in, guys.
Wow, this is fun.
157
00:06:37,367 --> 00:06:39,167
Your dad sure knows
how to have a good time.
158
00:06:39,167 --> 00:06:40,300
You know what I'm saying?
159
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,767
Yeah, he's great.
160
00:06:41,767 --> 00:06:44,167
Come on, let's make
like the SeaQuest and dive.
161
00:06:46,534 --> 00:06:48,234
[BOTH COO]
162
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,834
I could do that.
Yeah, why not?
163
00:06:55,534 --> 00:06:57,701
[SCREAMING]
164
00:07:01,234 --> 00:07:04,033
I am so proud to have
Pesto for a son.
165
00:07:04,033 --> 00:07:06,234
He's brave, courageous--
166
00:07:06,234 --> 00:07:07,467
And cuckoo in the head.
167
00:07:07,467 --> 00:07:09,534
Yeah, but that's
what makes him lovable.
168
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,167
What's with these weird
cutaway shots
169
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:15,534
in this stupid
cartoon show anyway?
170
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,200
Ptooie!
171
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,634
PESTO:
I'm having a bad day.
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[***]
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00:07:26,234 --> 00:07:27,234
I do.
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00:07:27,234 --> 00:07:28,567
I do too.
175
00:07:28,567 --> 00:07:31,834
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
176
00:07:31,834 --> 00:07:36,200
The Godpigeon says he now
pronounces them peahen and gull.
177
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,334
See you
after the honeymoon, son.
178
00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:40,334
[***]
179
00:07:41,701 --> 00:07:43,667
Ah, she's happy,
he's happy.
180
00:07:43,667 --> 00:07:44,667
So what?
181
00:07:44,667 --> 00:07:46,501
Big deal.
Everybody's happy.
182
00:07:46,501 --> 00:07:48,234
Yeah, forget about it.
183
00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:50,534
Love conquers all,
you know what I'm saying?
184
00:07:50,534 --> 00:07:51,934
Aw, yeah.
185
00:07:51,934 --> 00:07:54,300
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
186
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,200
[SOBBING]
187
00:07:57,501 --> 00:07:59,834
You know, underneath
that tough exterior,
188
00:07:59,834 --> 00:08:01,834
you're a real softie, Pesto.
189
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:02,868
What do you mean by that?
190
00:08:02,868 --> 00:08:05,200
You're sweet,
you know, a softie.
191
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,701
I am a softie?!
192
00:08:06,701 --> 00:08:07,968
What, are you saying
193
00:08:07,968 --> 00:08:10,000
I'm some kind of swirly-topped
ice-cream cone
194
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,167
here for you to smack
your beak lips over?
195
00:08:12,167 --> 00:08:13,934
Is that what you're saying?!
196
00:08:13,934 --> 00:08:15,734
No, I'm not saying that.
197
00:08:15,734 --> 00:08:17,567
You're saying
that I am a softie.
198
00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:19,200
Yeah, yeah,
that's what I'm saying.
199
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,667
That's it!
Ow.
200
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,868
I'll give you a softie
upside the head. That's what.
201
00:08:22,868 --> 00:08:24,667
Pesto, you're whacking
my gullet here.
202
00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:26,234
Take that,
you big stuffed sausage.
203
00:08:26,234 --> 00:08:28,901
You mortadella head.
Hey, you big loser head.
204
00:08:28,901 --> 00:08:30,400
Ha, ha, ha.
Hey, you bologna head.
205
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,734
[***]
206
00:08:34,167 --> 00:08:35,868
ANNOUNCER:
It's Mime Time.
207
00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:40,734
Today on Mime Time:
208
00:08:40,734 --> 00:08:43,133
"Riding an Imaginary Subway."
209
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,300
[***]
210
00:08:48,467 --> 00:08:49,467
[THUDS AND RUMBLING]
211
00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:52,567
Ow, ow, ooh, ooh!
212
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,334
The end.
213
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:58,100
[***]
214
00:09:03,434 --> 00:09:05,667
SQUIT:
As far back as I can remember,
215
00:09:05,667 --> 00:09:08,868
the Goodfeathers had the best
perch in the neighborhood.
216
00:09:08,868 --> 00:09:10,367
Because we perched
on the statue
217
00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:13,067
of the greatest filmmaker
in the world.
218
00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:14,901
Scorsese.
219
00:09:14,901 --> 00:09:17,467
[***]
220
00:09:17,467 --> 00:09:19,801
ALL:
* Scorsese *
221
00:09:19,801 --> 00:09:20,801
* Scorsese *
222
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:22,501
* Cooooooo *
223
00:09:22,501 --> 00:09:23,667
* Scorsese *
224
00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:25,701
* Scorsese *
225
00:09:25,701 --> 00:09:26,701
ALL:
* Scorsese *
226
00:09:26,701 --> 00:09:28,667
* Cooooooo *
227
00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:30,167
* Scorsese *
228
00:09:33,234 --> 00:09:35,501
Without the statue
of Scorsese,
229
00:09:35,501 --> 00:09:38,834
our lives would be
as slippery as--
230
00:09:38,834 --> 00:09:40,133
A pigeon on the roof.
231
00:09:40,133 --> 00:09:42,133
[***]
232
00:09:43,734 --> 00:09:44,767
Whoa!
233
00:09:44,767 --> 00:09:46,000
[CRASH]
234
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,801
Morning, Girlfeathers.
235
00:09:54,801 --> 00:09:57,033
[GROWLS]
236
00:09:57,033 --> 00:09:58,734
ALL:
Morning, Goodfeathers.
237
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,000
You wanna tell 'em, Sasha?
238
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,000
No. Keekee, you do it.
239
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,868
It was your idea, Lana.
240
00:10:05,868 --> 00:10:07,534
Oh, what are we afraid of?
241
00:10:07,534 --> 00:10:09,334
This is the deal,
Goodfeathers.
242
00:10:09,334 --> 00:10:12,534
We decided we wanna get married
and be egg hatchers.
243
00:10:12,534 --> 00:10:13,868
ALL:
Egg hatchers?
244
00:10:13,868 --> 00:10:15,534
You wanna be an egg hatcher?
245
00:10:15,534 --> 00:10:18,234
Uh-huh. An egg hatcher.
246
00:10:18,234 --> 00:10:20,734
[***]
247
00:10:20,734 --> 00:10:23,701
* Egg hatcher, egg hatcher
I wanna be *
248
00:10:23,701 --> 00:10:26,734
* Perched on a nest
So feathery *
249
00:10:26,734 --> 00:10:29,634
* Egg hatcher, egg hatcher
I'm in the mood *
250
00:10:29,634 --> 00:10:32,634
* To sit on my tush and brood *
251
00:10:32,634 --> 00:10:36,100
* Oh, Pesto, ask me to marry *
252
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:38,968
* Oh, Bobby, say the word
And we're wed *
253
00:10:38,968 --> 00:10:42,033
* Oh, Squit, coo
Make a commitment *
254
00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:45,234
* I want to be married
Before I'm dead *
255
00:10:45,234 --> 00:10:48,133
ALL:
* Egg hatcher, egg hatcher
Don't wanna date *
256
00:10:48,133 --> 00:10:51,367
* 'Cause marriage is best
Build us a nest *
257
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:52,667
* Don't make us wait *
258
00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:55,934
* We want eggs to incubate *
259
00:10:55,934 --> 00:10:58,634
[GOODFEATHERS SCREAM]
260
00:10:58,634 --> 00:11:01,167
SQUIT:
I'm outta here!
261
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:03,434
[***]
262
00:11:03,434 --> 00:11:05,234
Can you believe them
girly birds asking us
263
00:11:05,234 --> 00:11:06,467
to get hooked up with them?
264
00:11:06,467 --> 00:11:07,901
Yeah, they got
some kinda nerve
265
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:09,634
trying to disrupt
our bachelortude.
266
00:11:09,634 --> 00:11:12,534
Hatching eggs,
raising little Goodfeathers--
267
00:11:12,534 --> 00:11:13,534
[COOS]
268
00:11:13,534 --> 00:11:15,033
--I don't know if I'm ready.
269
00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:18,434
The Godpigeon.
270
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:21,601
ALL:
Aah!
271
00:11:22,801 --> 00:11:24,100
[ALL MUMBLING]
272
00:11:25,534 --> 00:11:27,133
[CHUCKLES]
273
00:11:27,133 --> 00:11:28,901
[LAUGHS]
274
00:11:30,434 --> 00:11:32,067
[ALL SPITTING]
275
00:11:37,968 --> 00:11:41,968
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
276
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:44,100
The Godpigeon says
that as head of the family
277
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:45,901
he feels obligated
to amuse us
278
00:11:45,901 --> 00:11:47,868
with occasional
teeter-totter pranks.
279
00:11:48,567 --> 00:11:49,734
[LAUGHS]
280
00:11:49,734 --> 00:11:51,567
[ALL LAUGH]
281
00:11:52,868 --> 00:11:54,501
A beak full of sand
is not comical.
282
00:11:54,501 --> 00:11:55,601
Is that comical?
283
00:11:55,601 --> 00:11:57,167
The Godpigeon thinks
it's amusing,
284
00:11:57,167 --> 00:11:59,067
it's amusing.
You know what I'm saying?
285
00:11:59,067 --> 00:12:02,534
That's one of the advantages
of being Godpigeon, Pesto.
286
00:12:04,968 --> 00:12:06,067
[COOS]
287
00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:07,667
I wish I was the Godpigeon.
288
00:12:07,667 --> 00:12:10,167
[***]
289
00:12:10,167 --> 00:12:12,601
* If I were the Godpigeon *
290
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:13,834
* Cooee, cooee, cooee *
291
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:16,834
* Fettuccine, cream sauce
Parmesan *
292
00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:18,100
* All the time I'd... *
293
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:19,601
[IMITATES GODPIGEON MUMBLING]
294
00:12:19,601 --> 00:12:21,734
* If I were the Godpigeon *
295
00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:22,734
Bada bing!
296
00:12:22,734 --> 00:12:24,634
* Birds would kiss my toesies *
297
00:12:24,634 --> 00:12:28,501
* Schmooie, schmooie, schmooie
Mostaccioli, Vito Corleone *
298
00:12:28,501 --> 00:12:31,667
* Lord show them
I wasn't born to lose *
299
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:34,534
* Make me boss
Of all them pidgie-poos *
300
00:12:34,534 --> 00:12:37,968
* I'd make offers
No one can refuse *
301
00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:41,367
* If I were the Godpigeon *
Yeah!
302
00:12:41,367 --> 00:12:43,868
Maybe I'll do
a little coup d'�tat
303
00:12:43,868 --> 00:12:45,701
and take over the flock.
304
00:12:45,701 --> 00:12:47,334
Hiya, Pesto.
305
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,400
Keekee, if you are hovering
around over here
306
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,467
expecting me to ask you
to marry me,
307
00:12:51,467 --> 00:12:52,767
you can forget about it.
308
00:12:52,767 --> 00:12:55,934
Please, Pesto.
I don't wanna marry you.
309
00:12:55,934 --> 00:12:57,033
Oh, yes, you do.
310
00:12:57,033 --> 00:12:58,100
I do not.
311
00:12:58,100 --> 00:12:59,100
That's it!
312
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:00,300
You do wanna marry me
313
00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:01,667
and you will marry me.
314
00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:02,667
Okay.
315
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:05,267
And that's final!
316
00:13:07,701 --> 00:13:08,701
Aah!
317
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,200
Aah!
318
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,968
Are you freaking
'cause you asked Keekee
319
00:13:12,968 --> 00:13:14,601
to marry you by mistake?
320
00:13:14,601 --> 00:13:16,767
No, no, no,
I had a dream.
321
00:13:16,767 --> 00:13:19,100
And you were there.
And you were there.
322
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:22,033
All right, already, Toto.
Tell us the dream.
323
00:13:22,033 --> 00:13:23,601
Okay, okay, okay.
324
00:13:23,601 --> 00:13:25,968
It started with us perched
out in a graveyard.
325
00:13:25,968 --> 00:13:27,968
[***]
326
00:13:31,267 --> 00:13:32,601
[ALL GASP]
327
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,000
ALL:
* A feather on your head
Coo coo quack, coo coo quack *
328
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,100
* We are the grateful dead
Coo coo quack, coo coo quack *
329
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:45,167
* We feathered up a nest
For our distinguished guest *
330
00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:47,400
* Hello, Godpigeon Pesto *
331
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:48,434
ALL:
Godpigeon?
332
00:13:48,434 --> 00:13:50,367
* You got it all wrong
Zombies *
333
00:13:50,367 --> 00:13:51,734
* He's just Pesto *
334
00:13:51,734 --> 00:13:53,167
* He's not Godpigeon
Zombies *
335
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:54,968
* Although someday
I hope to be *
336
00:13:56,601 --> 00:13:57,801
[GODPIGEON COOING]
337
00:13:59,467 --> 00:14:00,601
[YELLING]
338
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,167
[ALL SCREAM]
339
00:14:04,267 --> 00:14:05,834
[SINGS INDISTINCTLY]
340
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:07,133
* He says, "You croaked me" *
341
00:14:07,133 --> 00:14:08,901
[SINGS INDISTINCTLY]
342
00:14:08,901 --> 00:14:10,534
* He says he's angry *
343
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,901
[COOS]
344
00:14:13,968 --> 00:14:15,968
[ALL SCREAM]
345
00:14:24,033 --> 00:14:25,667
ALL:
Aah!
346
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,868
I don't wanna be
the Godpigeon.
347
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,501
I didn't mean what I said
about taking over the flock.
348
00:14:31,501 --> 00:14:32,901
[SOBS]
349
00:14:33,968 --> 00:14:35,701
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
350
00:14:37,133 --> 00:14:40,100
The Godpigeon says,
"All is forgiven."
351
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:42,300
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
352
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:44,434
"Day-poom-pay"?
353
00:14:44,434 --> 00:14:46,968
He adds,
"Pleasant dreams."
354
00:14:49,734 --> 00:14:51,167
[ROARS]
355
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:52,200
Aw.
356
00:14:55,901 --> 00:14:57,901
[***]
357
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:03,067
Coo-coo-ca-choo,
Mrs. Robinson.
358
00:15:03,067 --> 00:15:04,901
What do you mean by that?
359
00:15:04,901 --> 00:15:05,934
Nothing.
360
00:15:05,934 --> 00:15:07,100
[CLEARS THROAT]
361
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:08,667
I wanna tell you something.
362
00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:09,968
* Sasha *
363
00:15:09,968 --> 00:15:10,968
* Squit *
364
00:15:10,968 --> 00:15:12,100
* Sasha *
365
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:13,400
* Squit *
366
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:17,267
* Time to get engaged *
367
00:15:17,267 --> 00:15:19,400
BOTH:
* We'll share a roost *
368
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,200
* And hatch a family *
369
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,501
* Even though
You are middle-aged *
370
00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:27,834
That's it!
371
00:15:27,834 --> 00:15:28,934
Are you saying I'm old?
372
00:15:28,934 --> 00:15:30,634
No, Sasha.
Is that what you're saying?
373
00:15:30,634 --> 00:15:32,200
I'll give you "old"
upside the head.
374
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,367
I'm not saying that. Ow!
Scungilli.
375
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,067
Looks like everybody's getting
hooked up around here.
376
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:38,267
Yeah.
377
00:15:38,267 --> 00:15:39,834
Um...
378
00:15:39,834 --> 00:15:41,334
Oh, Lana.
379
00:15:41,334 --> 00:15:43,834
* Do you want me? *
380
00:15:43,834 --> 00:15:45,567
*Do I, huh? *
381
00:15:45,567 --> 00:15:47,734
* Do you want me? *
382
00:15:47,734 --> 00:15:49,868
* Do I want him? *
383
00:15:49,868 --> 00:15:51,133
* The truth of it is *
384
00:15:51,133 --> 00:15:54,267
* He's mortified
Petrified, terrified *
385
00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:56,000
* To say "I love you
Be my bride *
386
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,968
* I need you by my side" *
387
00:15:57,968 --> 00:15:59,767
* Do you want me? *
388
00:15:59,767 --> 00:16:02,267
* Oh, it's up to you *
389
00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:06,567
* Then bada bing
Bip bip a doo *
390
00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:08,434
BOTH:
* Okay, so we're betrothed *
391
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:10,934
* It's no big coup *
392
00:16:10,934 --> 00:16:13,434
* But the truth of it is *
393
00:16:13,434 --> 00:16:16,901
* I do want you *
394
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,000
The statue.
395
00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:23,634
They're taking it.
396
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:24,634
[BOTH COOING]
397
00:16:24,634 --> 00:16:25,667
[BOTH GASP]
398
00:16:25,667 --> 00:16:27,133
PESTO:
What's going on?
399
00:16:29,767 --> 00:16:31,133
[THUD]
400
00:16:38,334 --> 00:16:40,400
They erected some other guy
up over here.
401
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:45,267
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
402
00:16:45,267 --> 00:16:48,234
The Godpigeon says that it is
a statue of Regis Philbin.
403
00:16:51,634 --> 00:16:55,801
There is no way I am gonna sit
on Regis Philbin's head.
404
00:16:55,801 --> 00:16:57,501
Me neither.
That's right.
No way.
405
00:16:57,501 --> 00:17:00,567
You can't make me do that.
Let's go.
406
00:17:00,567 --> 00:17:03,634
ALL:
* Regis Philbin *
* Regis Philbin *
407
00:17:03,634 --> 00:17:05,334
* On TV with Kathie Lee *
408
00:17:05,334 --> 00:17:07,000
* Regis Philbin *
409
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,434
* We will not perch
On that big goof *
410
00:17:11,434 --> 00:17:12,667
* Regis Philbin *
411
00:17:12,667 --> 00:17:14,501
* Regis Philbin *
412
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:16,000
* That big shot
Screams a lot *
413
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,100
* Regis Philbin *
414
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,601
* I'd rather be a *
415
00:17:20,601 --> 00:17:21,901
* Pigeon on the roof *
416
00:17:21,901 --> 00:17:23,467
[***]
417
00:17:25,334 --> 00:17:27,934
PESTO:
Would someone please explain
what that was all about?
418
00:17:27,934 --> 00:17:29,467
That had to be
the most confusing,
419
00:17:29,467 --> 00:17:31,467
mixed-up, cockamamie script
420
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,267
I've ever read in my entire
beaking life.
421
00:17:33,267 --> 00:17:34,400
Fazoul!
422
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,400
Hey, oh...
423
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,400
[COOS]
424
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,200
...Pesto, oh,
coo down, bird.
425
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,934
* Bird, bird
Crazy bird *
426
00:17:41,934 --> 00:17:43,667
* Stay coo, bird *
427
00:17:44,434 --> 00:17:45,968
* Beak it, buzz it *
428
00:17:45,968 --> 00:17:47,367
* Easy does it *
429
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:50,133
* Turn off the juice, bird *
430
00:17:50,133 --> 00:17:52,467
* Go, bird, go
But not like a dodo *
431
00:17:52,467 --> 00:17:54,434
* Coo, bird *
432
00:17:54,434 --> 00:17:57,067
BOBBY:
* Play it coo, bird *
433
00:17:57,067 --> 00:18:00,367
* Real coo *
434
00:18:01,534 --> 00:18:02,834
Coo.
435
00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:04,434
[CHUCKLES]
436
00:18:08,334 --> 00:18:10,334
[***]
437
00:18:14,534 --> 00:18:15,701
You know what?
438
00:18:15,701 --> 00:18:17,467
One time
Randy Beaman's uncle Roy
439
00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:20,133
blew his nose so hard
his brains came out.
440
00:18:20,734 --> 00:18:21,934
True.
441
00:18:23,267 --> 00:18:24,501
Okay, bye.
442
00:18:31,033 --> 00:18:34,234
ANNOUNCER:
It's time for another
Good Idea, Bad Idea.
443
00:18:35,334 --> 00:18:36,968
Good idea:
444
00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:41,000
Giving a small child
a balloon.
445
00:18:42,334 --> 00:18:44,434
Bad idea:
446
00:18:44,434 --> 00:18:45,467
Giving a small child
447
00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:47,300
a bunch of balloons.
448
00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:51,701
Good idea:
449
00:18:52,701 --> 00:18:53,801
Taking up a new hobby
450
00:18:53,801 --> 00:18:54,801
like bird calling.
451
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,167
[WHISTLES]
452
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,200
Bad idea:
453
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,200
Taking up a new hobby
454
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,467
like buffalo calling.
455
00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:03,467
[HONKS]
456
00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:11,801
Good idea:
457
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,834
Ordering a chilidog to go.
458
00:19:20,968 --> 00:19:22,100
Bad idea:
459
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,067
Ordering a chilidog
460
00:19:24,067 --> 00:19:25,100
that makes you go.
461
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,300
Good idea:
462
00:19:30,767 --> 00:19:33,567
Visiting picturesque
McLean, Virginia.
463
00:19:35,701 --> 00:19:36,901
Bad idea:
464
00:19:37,667 --> 00:19:38,767
Visiting picturesque
465
00:19:38,767 --> 00:19:41,100
McLean Stevenson.
466
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:46,400
The end.
467
00:19:47,968 --> 00:19:49,968
[***]
468
00:19:52,033 --> 00:19:53,200
It's that time again.
469
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,601
To watch Don Knotts videos?
470
00:19:55,601 --> 00:19:57,534
Like The Incredible Mr. Limpet?
471
00:19:57,534 --> 00:20:00,100
No, it's time to learn
the day's lesson.
472
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:01,767
And to find out what it is,
473
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:05,234
we turn to the Wheel
of Morality.
474
00:20:05,234 --> 00:20:07,601
Wheel of Morality,
turn, turn, turn.
475
00:20:07,601 --> 00:20:09,901
Tell us the lesson
that we should learn.
476
00:20:09,901 --> 00:20:11,033
Moral number three.
477
00:20:11,033 --> 00:20:13,767
And the moral
of today's story is:
478
00:20:13,767 --> 00:20:15,434
"People who live
in glass houses
479
00:20:15,434 --> 00:20:17,200
should get dressed
with the lights out."
480
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,634
Whoa, the mind boggles.
481
00:20:19,634 --> 00:20:21,067
How profound.
482
00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:22,334
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
483
00:20:22,334 --> 00:20:24,200
ALL:
Yikes!
484
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,200
[***]
485
00:20:31,701 --> 00:20:33,701
[***]
486
00:21:02,367 --> 00:21:04,534
Wanna see me make bubbles
with my spit?
487
00:21:04,534 --> 00:21:05,801
Sure do.
488
00:21:05,801 --> 00:21:07,968
In fact, that's the theme
of our next show.
489
00:21:07,968 --> 00:21:09,701
So don't miss it.
31845
Can't find what you're looking for?
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