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[***]
2
00:00:12,901 --> 00:00:16,067
Okay, see, one time
in the cafeteria,
3
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Randy Beaman was eating
a bologna sandwich,
4
00:00:18,968 --> 00:00:21,000
then Jason made
this gross noise:
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00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,367
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
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And Randy Beaman laughed so hard
bologna came out his nose.
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Really.
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'Kay, bye.
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[***]
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[***]
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ANNOUNCER:
Newsreel of the Stars.
12
00:00:40,767 --> 00:00:43,000
Dateline: Hollywood, 1930.
13
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,501
The Warner Brothers studio,
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00:00:44,501 --> 00:00:47,501
home of the biggest stars
in Tinseltown.
15
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Here at the studio's
new Animation Department,
16
00:00:49,901 --> 00:00:53,267
the artists toil endlessly
to come up with cartoon stars,
17
00:00:53,267 --> 00:00:55,601
ultimately creating
three new characters:
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00:00:55,601 --> 00:00:58,601
The Warner brothers
and their sister, Dot.
19
00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:01,267
WARNERS:
Hello, Nurse!
20
00:01:01,267 --> 00:01:06,000
ANNOUNCER:
Unfortunately, the Warner kids
were totally out of control...
21
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,767
and sent the animators
running to the hills.
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ALL:
Bye.
23
00:01:12,067 --> 00:01:14,701
Boingie! Boingie! Boingie!
Boingie!
24
00:01:14,701 --> 00:01:17,701
ANNOUNCER:
The trio ran amok
throughout the studio,
25
00:01:17,701 --> 00:01:19,934
creating utter chaos.
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00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,167
[SCREAMING]
27
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ANNOUNCER:
Finally, they were captured.
28
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,901
The Warners' films,
which made absolutely no sense,
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00:01:32,901 --> 00:01:34,734
were locked away
in the studio vault,
30
00:01:34,734 --> 00:01:36,067
never to be released.
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00:01:37,567 --> 00:01:41,167
As for the Warners themselves,
who made even less sense,
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00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,734
they were locked away
in the studio water tower,
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00:01:43,734 --> 00:01:45,367
also never to be released.
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00:01:47,234 --> 00:01:49,367
Publicly, the studio
has disavowed
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00:01:49,367 --> 00:01:51,267
any knowledge
of the Warners' existence
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00:01:51,267 --> 00:01:55,033
to this very day,
when the Warners escaped.
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[***]
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ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *
39
00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:04,701
* And we're zany to the max *
40
00:02:04,701 --> 00:02:06,501
* So just sit back and relax *
41
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,167
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *
42
00:02:08,167 --> 00:02:10,567
* We're Animaniacs *
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00:02:10,567 --> 00:02:12,367
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *
44
00:02:12,367 --> 00:02:14,000
* And the Warner sister, Dot *
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ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *
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00:02:16,968 --> 00:02:19,634
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *
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00:02:19,634 --> 00:02:21,367
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *
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00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:22,567
* And now you know the plot *
49
00:02:22,567 --> 00:02:25,100
* We're Animaniacs *
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00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:28,033
* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *
51
00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,400
* Wakko packs away the snacks *
52
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,133
* While Bill Clinton
Plays the sax *
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00:02:31,133 --> 00:02:33,167
* We're Animaniacs *
54
00:02:34,267 --> 00:02:35,534
* Meet Pinky and the Brain *
55
00:02:35,534 --> 00:02:37,000
* Who want to rule
The universe *
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* Goodfeathers flock together *
57
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,901
* Slappy whacks 'em
With her purse *
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00:02:39,901 --> 00:02:41,200
* Buttons chases Mindy *
59
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:42,734
* While Rita sings a verse *
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00:02:42,734 --> 00:02:44,467
* The writers flipped
We have no script *
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* Why bother to rehearse? *
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00:02:45,634 --> 00:02:48,400
* We're Animaniacs *
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00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,234
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *
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00:02:51,234 --> 00:02:52,667
* We're zany to the max *
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00:02:52,667 --> 00:02:54,334
* There's bologna
In our slacks *
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00:02:54,334 --> 00:02:55,901
* We're Animan-y *
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00:02:55,901 --> 00:02:57,234
* Totally insane-y *
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00:02:57,234 --> 00:02:58,767
* Shirley MacLaine-y *
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* Animaniacs *
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* Those are the facts *
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00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:07,834
[***]
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Huh?
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Giddyap!
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00:03:25,934 --> 00:03:27,567
[HORSE WHINNIES]
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00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:38,701
[***]
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00:03:42,534 --> 00:03:44,534
[***]
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DR. SCRATCHANSNIFF:
Today, my little Warner friends,
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00:03:49,767 --> 00:03:52,734
I don't want to ask you
any boring questions.
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00:03:52,734 --> 00:03:53,734
So can we go then?
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00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:54,968
Wait, wait, wait.
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00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,234
Wouldn't you like to hear
my fun new idea?
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00:03:57,234 --> 00:04:00,667
I thought you said
no boring questions.
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00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:02,267
[LAUGHS]
84
00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:04,901
Today, I want to try
a little group session,
85
00:04:04,901 --> 00:04:08,501
and so I've invited one of
my other patients to join us.
86
00:04:08,501 --> 00:04:11,033
Who is it? One of those cute
little Olsen twins?
87
00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:15,534
No, but it is a fellow
Warner Brothers employee.
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00:04:15,534 --> 00:04:17,200
Your other patient
is here, doctor.
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00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,100
Very well. Send her in.
90
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:21,434
Now, she may be shy
and bashful,
91
00:04:21,434 --> 00:04:22,834
and unwilling to chitchat,
92
00:04:22,834 --> 00:04:25,067
so please be polite,
okey-dokeys?
93
00:04:25,067 --> 00:04:26,467
ALL:
Okey-dokeys.
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00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:27,901
[***]
95
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:32,601
* Oh, where, oh, where
Has my little dog gone, baby? *
96
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ALL:
Elmyra!
97
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,567
Hiya, Mr. Doctor Man.
98
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:39,734
Do you wanna look
inside my little head?
99
00:04:39,734 --> 00:04:42,033
Well, heh-heh, yes, perhaps.
100
00:04:42,033 --> 00:04:45,567
But first, I want you to meet
some other patients of mine.
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00:04:45,567 --> 00:04:47,067
Oohh!
102
00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:49,634
Look at the cute fuzzy heads!
103
00:04:49,634 --> 00:04:55,501
What are you? Puppies?
Kitties? Big fuzzy buggies?
104
00:04:55,501 --> 00:04:57,167
BOTH:
We're the Warner brothers.
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00:04:57,167 --> 00:04:59,467
And the Warner sister.
106
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,567
Well, I'm the Warner hugger
and kisser,
107
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:04,100
and squeezer
into itty-bitty pieces.
108
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:05,767
Nice to meet you.
109
00:05:05,767 --> 00:05:08,200
Okay, now, everyone,
let's settle down,
110
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:12,701
and let's all have fun
with Mr. Puppet Head.
111
00:05:12,701 --> 00:05:14,334
Oohh!
112
00:05:14,334 --> 00:05:17,267
I love Mr. Puppet Head!
113
00:05:17,267 --> 00:05:19,267
ALL:
Figures.
114
00:05:19,267 --> 00:05:20,834
[SQUEAKY VOICE]
Hello, everybody.
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00:05:20,834 --> 00:05:23,400
Hello, Mr. Puppet Head.
116
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,267
[GIGGLES]
117
00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:27,267
[NORMAL VOICE]
Is there something you kiddies
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00:05:27,267 --> 00:05:29,067
would like to share
with Mr. Puppet Head?
119
00:05:31,901 --> 00:05:32,901
Nope.
120
00:05:32,901 --> 00:05:34,667
Not me.
121
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,234
I'd like to share.
122
00:05:36,234 --> 00:05:38,400
Good. What?
123
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,067
This.
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00:05:40,067 --> 00:05:42,801
Naughty puppet.
125
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,467
Yi-yi-yi! I mean:
126
00:05:44,467 --> 00:05:45,801
[SQUEAKY VOICE]
Yi-yi-yi!
127
00:05:45,801 --> 00:05:48,133
[NORMAL VOICE]
Are you all right,
Mr. Puppet Head?
128
00:05:48,133 --> 00:05:50,934
[SQUEAKY VOICE]
No, I got a woogie on my noggin.
129
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,901
Oh, don't worry,
Mr. Puppet Head.
130
00:05:53,901 --> 00:05:57,968
I'll take care of you
with a great big huggy-poo!
131
00:05:57,968 --> 00:06:01,267
I'm gonna make you all better,
and love you and kiss you,
132
00:06:01,267 --> 00:06:05,300
and be nursey-nurse for the sick
little woogie noggin.
133
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:06,934
[ELMYRA KISSING PUPPET]
134
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,534
Oh, the humanity.
135
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:12,200
Mwah. There. All better.
136
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:16,834
Mr. Puppet Head, what happened?
137
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,634
Nobody's home.
138
00:06:18,634 --> 00:06:20,300
There's an understatement.
139
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:21,667
I know.
140
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:23,267
Let's engage
in some parallel play
141
00:06:23,267 --> 00:06:26,667
with a little
non-competitive gaming. Yeah?
142
00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:27,901
ALL:
Say what?
143
00:06:27,901 --> 00:06:31,200
He means, let's play
hug the puppy heads!
144
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:32,701
I'm gonna hug you
and squeeze you,
145
00:06:32,701 --> 00:06:34,167
and take you home,
146
00:06:34,167 --> 00:06:36,968
and dress you up
like little ponies.
147
00:06:36,968 --> 00:06:39,767
And we'll play rodeo cowgirl!
148
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:41,901
I got another idea.
149
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,868
Let's play
What Happened to the Warners?
150
00:06:43,868 --> 00:06:47,367
BOTH:
What happened to the...Warners?
151
00:06:47,367 --> 00:06:50,501
Don't you worry,
Mr. Doctor Man Wrinkle Head.
152
00:06:50,501 --> 00:06:51,501
I'll find 'em!
153
00:06:52,901 --> 00:06:56,167
Oh, Warners!
154
00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:58,200
[***]
155
00:07:03,801 --> 00:07:05,067
[ALL PANTING]
156
00:07:05,067 --> 00:07:07,200
That was a close one.
157
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,801
That was a weird one.
158
00:07:08,801 --> 00:07:10,000
[WHISTLE TOOTING]
159
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,934
All aboard. Woo, woo!
160
00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:14,701
[GIGGLES]
161
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:17,501
We're gonna play
Petticoat Junction.
162
00:07:17,501 --> 00:07:18,901
[ALL SCREAM]
163
00:07:18,901 --> 00:07:21,901
* Oh, I'm Uncle Joe
And I'm moving kinda slow *
164
00:07:21,901 --> 00:07:23,701
* Woo, woo! *
165
00:07:26,734 --> 00:07:29,801
Come back! I got some taffy.
166
00:07:31,467 --> 00:07:34,434
Excuse me, Mr. Guardman Face,
167
00:07:34,434 --> 00:07:37,534
have you seen
the little Warner heads?
168
00:07:37,534 --> 00:07:39,868
Uh, the Warner heads?
169
00:07:39,868 --> 00:07:43,534
Um. Well, I...
The Warners?
170
00:07:43,534 --> 00:07:45,200
There you are.
171
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,734
Some hiding place.
172
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,167
It was warm.
173
00:07:49,567 --> 00:07:51,934
Hey! Come back!
174
00:07:51,934 --> 00:07:54,601
[***]
175
00:07:54,601 --> 00:07:57,868
ELMYRA:
Here I come
to love you to pieces.
176
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:08,534
[ROARS]
177
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,601
Have you seen
three cute fuzzy heads?
178
00:08:25,734 --> 00:08:29,167
Ooh! Look at the big dino head.
179
00:08:29,167 --> 00:08:30,934
You're cute.
180
00:08:30,934 --> 00:08:33,567
I'm gonna bathe you,
and powder you
181
00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:35,567
and teach you how to go
on the paper.
182
00:08:36,133 --> 00:08:37,234
Oops.
183
00:08:37,234 --> 00:08:38,968
[ALL GASP]
184
00:08:40,267 --> 00:08:43,868
[ECHOING]
There you are.
185
00:08:43,868 --> 00:08:46,701
[***]
186
00:08:46,701 --> 00:08:48,968
Wait. We've gotta
fight fire with fire.
187
00:08:48,968 --> 00:08:50,434
[WHISPERING INAUDIBLY]
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00:08:52,868 --> 00:08:54,267
Follow me.
189
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:58,167
Oh, Warners. Wait for me.
190
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,501
Voil�,
the answer to our prayers.
191
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,200
[GIGGLING]
192
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:16,634
Oh, Warner-adle-adle-ooo!
193
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,601
[BARKING SOFTLY]
194
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,067
Puppy toy.
195
00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:35,067
[LAUGHS]
196
00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:36,501
[GRUNTS]
197
00:09:46,567 --> 00:09:49,100
Rowr?
198
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:51,767
Relax, pal.
It's taken care of.
199
00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:54,868
Where are you,
Warner-a-licious?
200
00:09:54,868 --> 00:09:58,434
I'm gonna fold you
and spindle you, and--
201
00:09:58,434 --> 00:09:59,434
[GASPS]
202
00:09:59,434 --> 00:10:03,167
Look at that cute little
girl head.
203
00:10:05,834 --> 00:10:08,300
Wait for me,
little girly-girl.
204
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:10,801
Look out, girly head!
205
00:10:10,801 --> 00:10:11,834
[CRASH]
206
00:10:12,801 --> 00:10:13,801
[GURGLING]
207
00:10:15,501 --> 00:10:19,868
Hey, come back here,
you little missy-miss.
208
00:10:25,467 --> 00:10:26,467
Unh!
209
00:10:26,467 --> 00:10:27,901
[SAW BUZZES]
210
00:10:27,901 --> 00:10:29,100
Unh!
211
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:31,200
All clear!
212
00:10:33,267 --> 00:10:36,033
[CLAPPING]
213
00:10:36,033 --> 00:10:38,200
I love a happy ending.
214
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,767
Sometimes I just love
when it ends.
215
00:10:44,501 --> 00:10:47,234
[***]
216
00:10:47,234 --> 00:10:49,901
ANNOUNCER:
And now, Dot's Poetry Corner.
217
00:10:49,901 --> 00:10:51,701
[CLEARS THROAT]
218
00:10:51,701 --> 00:10:54,000
"Old King Cole."
219
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,200
Old King Cole
was a merry old soul
220
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,834
And a merry old soul was he
221
00:10:57,834 --> 00:11:00,534
He called for his pipe
And he called for his bowl
222
00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:01,868
And he called Information
223
00:11:01,868 --> 00:11:03,267
For numbers
He could have easily
224
00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:04,934
Looked up in the phone book
225
00:11:04,934 --> 00:11:06,400
Thank you.
226
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,701
[FINGERS SNAPPING]
227
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,400
ANNOUNCER:
This has been another visit
228
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,767
to Dot's Poetry Corner.
229
00:11:10,767 --> 00:11:12,601
[***]
230
00:11:12,601 --> 00:11:15,901
* The crankiest of creatures
In the whole wide world *
231
00:11:15,901 --> 00:11:19,667
* Our next cartoon features
Slappy the Squirrel *
232
00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:23,200
Enough with the singing already.
233
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,167
* That's Slappy *
234
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,400
[***]
235
00:11:33,667 --> 00:11:35,667
[***]
236
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,234
[GLASS BREAKING]
237
00:11:51,534 --> 00:11:53,601
Excuse me.
238
00:11:53,601 --> 00:11:55,901
Are you here
for plastic surgery, or golf?
239
00:11:55,901 --> 00:11:57,467
There's a wait on golf.
240
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,667
Wow! Your skin's so tight
241
00:11:59,667 --> 00:12:01,400
you could bounce quarters
off it.
242
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,567
I'm pretty.
Now, what do you want?
243
00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:06,367
I was wondering what room
my Aunt Slappy was in.
244
00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:07,367
[MAN SCREAMING]
245
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:10,968
Never mind.
246
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,901
Hi, Aunt Slappy.
Resting quietly?
247
00:12:17,901 --> 00:12:22,400
Eh, Skippy, they don't make
orderlies like they used to.
248
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,567
Come out from under there,
sweetie.
249
00:12:24,567 --> 00:12:25,701
[SCREAMS]
250
00:12:26,834 --> 00:12:28,534
Why are you doing this?
251
00:12:28,534 --> 00:12:31,267
Hey, I can't help it.
I'm attracted to men in uniform.
252
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:35,033
No. I mean, why are you having
plastic surgery?
253
00:12:35,033 --> 00:12:37,000
To get ready
for my big cartoon comeback.
254
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,267
The business needs me.
255
00:12:38,267 --> 00:12:40,234
They're in trouble.
Just watch this.
256
00:12:42,434 --> 00:12:43,701
Oh!
257
00:12:43,701 --> 00:12:48,701
Ha-ha! I love chopping down
virgin timber.
258
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:49,801
[SAW BUZZING]
259
00:12:49,801 --> 00:12:50,901
[GASPS]
260
00:12:52,767 --> 00:12:55,133
Gee-hee! Hey, Wolverine Lou.
261
00:12:55,133 --> 00:12:57,868
Hurting trees is wrong.
Gee-hee.
262
00:12:57,868 --> 00:13:02,234
Gosh, Robin Robin.
No one ever told me.
263
00:13:02,234 --> 00:13:05,934
I will stop now,
and go help someone in need.
264
00:13:11,968 --> 00:13:14,667
No gags, no bulldozers,
no dynamite.
265
00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:16,100
What a rotten cartoon.
266
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:18,734
What's that got to do
with plastic surgery?
267
00:13:18,734 --> 00:13:21,667
Nowadays, nobody hires you
unless you're good-looking.
268
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,467
I gotta compete
with these young yutzes.
269
00:13:23,467 --> 00:13:26,567
Does that hammer the plot
home for ya?
270
00:13:26,567 --> 00:13:28,067
I'm gonna have a total
face-lift,
271
00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:30,801
a tummy tuck and my tail
liposuctioned.
272
00:13:30,801 --> 00:13:33,434
I'll be back on top again
in no time.
273
00:13:33,434 --> 00:13:37,734
But you look fine now,
Aunt Slappy. See?
274
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,234
Thanks for the boost.
275
00:13:41,501 --> 00:13:44,267
These bedpans are so cold
my tail has frostbite.
276
00:13:44,267 --> 00:13:45,767
Sorry, Ms. Squirrel.
277
00:13:45,767 --> 00:13:48,534
Dr. Roma has finished
parring the back nine.
278
00:13:48,534 --> 00:13:49,934
He's ready for you now.
279
00:13:49,934 --> 00:13:51,267
About time.
280
00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:53,267
I'm gonna transform
into a butterfly.
281
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,767
Or Wilford Brimley.
282
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,400
Whichever comes out of a cocoon.
283
00:14:01,701 --> 00:14:03,334
Take this to my locker,
284
00:14:03,334 --> 00:14:04,801
then call the clubhouse
285
00:14:04,801 --> 00:14:06,801
and reserve me a teeoff time
for 1 p.m.
286
00:14:08,133 --> 00:14:10,067
Make that 4 p.m.
287
00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:11,501
Hey, Arnold Palmer.
288
00:14:11,501 --> 00:14:13,701
Nice of you to squeeze in
time to operate.
289
00:14:13,701 --> 00:14:16,501
[HUMMING]
290
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,467
When I'm done
with Slappy Squirrel,
291
00:14:31,467 --> 00:14:34,300
her face will make
a hedgehog's rump look pretty.
292
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:37,934
All right, Ms. Squirrel,
293
00:14:37,934 --> 00:14:39,701
just relax
and watch the monitor.
294
00:14:39,701 --> 00:14:42,200
I'm going to show you scenes
from Alan Alda movies.
295
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:43,667
You'll be out in no time.
296
00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,801
Couldn't you just hit me
on the head with a hammer?
297
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:46,801
[LAUGHS]
298
00:14:46,801 --> 00:14:47,834
Now, now.
299
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:50,167
You just watch
Mr. Alda while I go wash up.
300
00:14:52,367 --> 00:14:54,534
I mean, what do we really know
about people?
301
00:14:54,534 --> 00:14:56,367
About men? Women?
302
00:14:56,367 --> 00:14:57,367
I'm puzzled.
303
00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:59,133
Being in a relationship
304
00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:00,968
is like walking
the tightrope of life.
305
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:02,467
Bleah!
306
00:15:02,467 --> 00:15:04,234
[SNORING]
307
00:15:08,801 --> 00:15:09,801
Finally.
308
00:15:09,801 --> 00:15:11,934
The chance to mangle my old foe,
309
00:15:11,934 --> 00:15:13,801
Slappy Squirrel,
once and for all.
310
00:15:14,634 --> 00:15:15,634
[SNICKERS]
311
00:15:15,634 --> 00:15:18,601
I mustn't forget to wash up.
312
00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:20,367
With Acme Sudsing Germs.
313
00:15:25,734 --> 00:15:28,067
[LAUGHING]
314
00:15:28,067 --> 00:15:31,567
The doctor will see you now,
Slappy Squirrel.
315
00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:41,968
First, I'll mush your face in
like this.
316
00:15:41,968 --> 00:15:45,467
Then I'll puff up your cheeks
and scrunch your nose.
317
00:15:45,467 --> 00:15:48,934
Then I'll stretch your chin
like Jay Leno.
318
00:15:48,934 --> 00:15:52,601
You'll never make
another cartoon again!
319
00:15:52,601 --> 00:15:54,734
[LAUGHS]
320
00:15:54,734 --> 00:15:56,567
Is this sad or what?
321
00:15:56,567 --> 00:15:58,534
Now, let us begin.
322
00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:08,434
Ahh! Oof.
323
00:16:15,567 --> 00:16:16,567
[GROWLING]
324
00:16:28,334 --> 00:16:30,901
Jerry Lewis, eat your heart out.
325
00:16:36,334 --> 00:16:37,334
Ah!
326
00:16:43,133 --> 00:16:45,434
Fore!
327
00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:50,834
That's it.
No more Mr. Nice Wolf.
328
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,601
[LAUGHS]
329
00:16:53,601 --> 00:16:54,968
Perfect.
330
00:16:57,634 --> 00:16:58,767
[SNORTS]
331
00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:01,868
Give me those.
332
00:17:01,868 --> 00:17:03,067
What you can get away with
333
00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:04,868
in cartoons these days
is shocking.
334
00:17:07,334 --> 00:17:09,667
DOCTOR:
Fore!
335
00:17:11,033 --> 00:17:13,067
There's my ball.
336
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:18,701
I'll play it from here.
I don't wanna lose a stroke.
337
00:17:18,701 --> 00:17:20,467
[WALTER YELLING]
338
00:17:20,467 --> 00:17:22,801
What? Who? Where?
339
00:17:22,801 --> 00:17:24,067
What happened?
340
00:17:24,067 --> 00:17:25,300
As if I cared.
341
00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:27,367
Good shot.
342
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:32,801
Why, Walter,
what are you doing here?
343
00:17:34,601 --> 00:17:36,868
Oh! Ow!
344
00:17:36,868 --> 00:17:39,133
Ooh. Looks like
you could use
345
00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:41,067
a little plastic surgery
of your own.
346
00:17:43,968 --> 00:17:45,734
Your next patient, boys.
347
00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:50,701
Here's a picture to work from.
It came with the wallet.
348
00:17:52,934 --> 00:17:56,200
So you're skipping your
plastic surgery, Aunt Slappy?
349
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,767
Eh, I'll keep my wrinkles.
I earned every one of 'em.
350
00:17:59,767 --> 00:18:01,434
But what about your comeback?
351
00:18:01,434 --> 00:18:02,467
Forget it.
352
00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:03,934
If I have to change
my appearance,
353
00:18:03,934 --> 00:18:05,334
it's not worth doing.
354
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,901
Skippy, I've learned
that looks aren't everything.
355
00:18:07,901 --> 00:18:11,000
It's the beauty in your heart
that's really important.
356
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,133
Gee, Aunt Slappy, you sound
like an after-school special.
357
00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:15,801
You're right.
I take it all back.
358
00:18:15,801 --> 00:18:18,234
WALTER:
My face! I'm ruined!
359
00:18:18,234 --> 00:18:21,067
What will the other
villains say?
360
00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:24,400
Now, that's edutainment.
361
00:18:28,033 --> 00:18:31,300
[***]
362
00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:33,968
ANNOUNCER:
And now, Dot's Poetry Corner.
363
00:18:33,968 --> 00:18:35,601
[CLEARS THROAT]
364
00:18:35,601 --> 00:18:37,834
"Ode to a Veggie."
365
00:18:37,834 --> 00:18:39,834
Beans, beans, the musical fruit
366
00:18:39,834 --> 00:18:41,000
The more you eat
367
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,400
The more they kick you
Off the air
368
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,801
If you finish this poem
369
00:18:43,801 --> 00:18:45,567
Thank you.
370
00:18:45,567 --> 00:18:46,734
[FINGERS SNAPPING]
371
00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:48,434
ANNOUNCER:
This has been another visit
372
00:18:48,434 --> 00:18:49,701
to Dot's Poetry Corner.
373
00:18:50,434 --> 00:18:52,434
[***]
374
00:18:58,567 --> 00:18:59,734
One time, okay, see--
375
00:18:59,734 --> 00:19:01,267
One time, Randy Beaman's family
376
00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:02,801
had this party
with food and stuff,
377
00:19:02,801 --> 00:19:04,834
and they had, like,
this bean dip for the chips,
378
00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:06,901
and everybody ate it
and said it was really good,
379
00:19:06,901 --> 00:19:08,100
only it wasn't bean dip.
380
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:11,067
It was a mistake.
It was really dog food.
381
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:13,901
'Kay, bye.
382
00:19:13,901 --> 00:19:15,901
[***]
383
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:21,300
[***]
384
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,634
Whoa, Wakko, Dot, hold up.
385
00:19:26,634 --> 00:19:27,634
Why?
386
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:28,968
It's that time again.
387
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,133
Oh, no,
not the Wheel of Morality.
388
00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:34,801
Afraid so. It's time to learn
the moral of today's story.
389
00:19:34,801 --> 00:19:38,067
BOTH:
No! No!
390
00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:39,434
Hey, come on.
391
00:19:39,434 --> 00:19:42,334
The Wheel of Morality
adds boring educational value
392
00:19:42,334 --> 00:19:43,567
to what would otherwise be
393
00:19:43,567 --> 00:19:45,834
an almost entirely
entertaining program.
394
00:19:45,834 --> 00:19:48,133
But the morals make no sense.
395
00:19:48,133 --> 00:19:50,534
It's totally bogus.
396
00:19:50,534 --> 00:19:54,934
Who came up with this stupid
Wheel of Morality idea anyway?
397
00:19:54,934 --> 00:19:57,167
The execs
at the Fox Kids' Network.
398
00:19:57,167 --> 00:20:01,868
Oh! Heh, heh. They did?
What a great idea.
399
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:05,133
Yeah.
I love the Wheel of Morality.
400
00:20:05,868 --> 00:20:07,100
Mwah.
401
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:09,734
So...
402
00:20:10,934 --> 00:20:12,834
Wheel of Morality,
turn, turn, turn.
403
00:20:12,834 --> 00:20:14,868
Tell us the lesson
that we should learn.
404
00:20:14,868 --> 00:20:16,434
Moral number six.
405
00:20:16,434 --> 00:20:19,200
And the moral
of today's story is:
406
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,033
"Lather, rinse, repeat."
407
00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:22,534
This is a moral?
408
00:20:22,534 --> 00:20:24,868
Hey, it's the best we could do
on such short notice.
409
00:20:24,868 --> 00:20:26,067
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
410
00:20:26,067 --> 00:20:27,067
ALL:
Yipe!
411
00:20:27,067 --> 00:20:29,067
[***]
412
00:20:32,934 --> 00:20:34,934
[***]
413
00:20:58,901 --> 00:21:00,501
Spew!
27785
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