Original subtitles

[***]

ALL: * It's time for Animaniacs *

* And we're zany to the max *

* So just sit back and relax *

* You'll laugh Till you collapse *

* We're Animaniacs *

BOTH: * Come join The Warner brothers *

* And the Warner sister, Dot *

ALL: * Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot *

* They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught *

* But we break loose And then vamoose *

* And now you know the plot *

* We're Animaniacs *

* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *

* Wakko packs away the snacks *

* While Bill Clinton Plays the sax *

* We're Animaniacs *

* Meet Pinky and the Brain *

* Who want to rule The universe *

* Goodfeathers flock together *

* Slappy whacks 'em With her purse *

* Buttons chases Mindy *

* While Rita sings a verse *

* The writers flipped We have no script *

* Why bother to rehearse? *

* We're Animaniacs *

* We have pay-or-play Contracts *

* We're zany to the max *

* There's bologna In our slacks *

* We're Animan-y *

* Totally insane-y *

How urbane-y.

* Animaniacs *

* Those are the facts *

[***]

[***]

* Oh, hear the crickets And the froggies *

* Get along You little dogies *

* A kip-I-O A kip-I-ay *

* I love a-riding On the ranges *

* Hear the crickets And the froggies *

* Out here where Nothing ever changes *

* Get along You little dogies *

* A kip-I-O A kip-I-ay *

* It's peaceful and pretty You can keep the city *

* Just give me lots of land And fresh air *

* Don't want a lot of faces Just wide open spaces *

* Where nobody's rich But who cares? *

* Oh, hear the crickets And the froggies *

* Get along You little dogies *

* Look, I found A piece of gold *

BOTH: * Yep, he found A piece of gold *

* Yep I found A piece of-- *

ALL: Gold!

[CROWD SHOUTING]

[***]

[PANTING]

I's been picking away at this hill for two weeks,

and I ain't found nothin'.

[LAUGHTER]

Ooh, that's a good one.

Kind of tiny.

Go put it with the other little ones.

Hm.

[GASPS]

Gold. They's found gold.

How do there, cute little children?

Oh, look,

a crotchety old miner.

You know, I couldn't help but hear

that you're looking for really big chunks of gold.

You know where we can find any?

As a matter of fact, I does.

There's big chunks of gold where I was diggin'.

I'll trade places with you, okay?

Gee, thanks.

WARNERS: Mwah!

[LAUGHING]

Dumb kids. They fell for it.

Oh, I'm a smarty. A rich old smarty.

WARNERS: Yeah! Huh?

[GASPS]

DOT: That's a pretty one.

Now, that's a gold nugget.

Ooh-oh!

Now, wait just a dad-burned minute.

I'm taking all this here gold for me.

Now get off this mountain and don't come back.

[ALL YELLING]

[CHUCKLES]

I think we just met

today's special friend.

[SIGHS] Phew!

Ooh-eee, it's hot.

[PANTING]

DOT: Lemonade! Get your ice-cold lemonade!

Ooh. Let me have one of those, little lady.

That'll be one gold nugget, please.

A gold nugget? That's steep.

No. It's expensive. That's steep.

[SCREAMING]

Phew. Thanks, boys.

Rescue service. That'll be one gold nugget.

One gold nugget?

That's ridiculous. I won't pay.

Okay.

Whoa! O-okay. I'll pay. I'll pay.

[SCREAMS]

[GROWLING]

YAKKO AND WAKKO: Yoo-hoo, Mr. Cranky Claim Jumper.

Toll bridge. That'll be five gold nuggets, please.

Thank you. Have a pleasant stay.

[WHISTLE] Huh?

[GROWLING]

Six gold nuggets, please.

[GROWLING]

It's a running gag.

Hey, mister.

We know how you can get to the gold inside the mountain.

You do?

WAKKO: Dynamite. Wait a minute.

How much?

Free.

I'll take all of it.

Would you like some fuses?

What? No fuses?!

They only cost 10 gold nuggets.

But that's all I got left.

Oh, all right.

'Cause once I blowed up that mountain,

all that gold will be mine.

So long, suckers.

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING MENACINGLY]

That ought to do it.

Look out, gold. Here I come.

[***]

I's rich. I's rich!

Gold! Gold!

Gold!

[ALL YELLING EXCITEDLY]

I's rich. Hee-hee. I's rich. Ho-ho.

Ho-ho. Hee-hee.

Hot dang! Heh-hee.

[LAUGHTER FADING SLOWLY]

Huh?

[CRYING]

My gold's all gone.

We'll buy the land from you for a gold nugget.

Ha-ha! I can't believe it.

The land's worthless.

Can't you see the gold's all gone?

That's okay. We just wanted the oil.

Oil?

[RUMBLING]

[***]

[GROANS]

[***]

[***]

[***]

Look, Mom.

NARRATOR: Every day in department stores

and toy stores and shops all over the world,

beautiful gifts are sold.

I want that one.

Perfect.

And, of course, all these gifts need to be wrapped.

Uh, wrap this, please. My pleasure.

But this is not a story about shopping.

It's a story about wrapping paper.

And which color paper do you wish, sir?

Hm.

A very special wrapping paper.

In fact...she was the most beautiful wrapping paper

in the whole world.

Or at least, so she thought.

Of course, the other wrapping papers

didn't want anything to do with her.

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

I'll take that gold-colored paper.

None of them could believe it.

Just imagine their jealousy.

[***]

There you are, sir.

Oh, thank you. It looks lovely.

Happy birthday, Mindy.

Thank you, Mr. Man.

Please don't call me that.

Call me Dad, Daddy or-- Or Pop.

Okay, Mr. Man.

[SIGHS]

[GROWLING]

Pretty.

NARRATOR: And now comes the big moment.

[***]

Oh, the violence.

The viciousness. The horror.

Now, that could be the end of the story.

But it's not.

[VACUUM HUMMING]

In fact, for this piece of wrapping paper,

the adventure is just beginning.

Yes...

our lovely gold paper is heading for the dump.

That's right, goldie,

it's off to the wasteland with you,

like so many worn-out dreams

and tattered promises.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Ah, but wait.

She's free.

Free.

[***]

Poor, poor goldie.

Just when it seemed like things couldn't get any worse,

in steps fate and--

Well, you get the picture.

Uh-oh. Don't you know wrapping paper can't swim?

Oh, dear.

There's that fate thing again.

And so the gold wrapping paper

is nearing the end of her journey.

Yesterday, she was the most beautiful

piece of wrapping paper in the store.

And today, nothing more than litter.

[SPITS]

Too bad.

'Tis a sad, sad fate that makes beauty fade.

Oh. Yet so it goes,

as all things must go

to face the cold, cold end.

[***]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Happy birthday, son.

Thanks, Pop.

[***]

In a world where so much is disposable,

it's truly a thing of wonder

when the little things are appreciated.

[***]

I love cheap romance- horror-thriller novels.

[EXPLOSION]

[PLAYING "CHARGE"]

[SCREAMS]

BOTH: Fire!

[BOTH GROANING]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Quiet!

Thanks.

[SWORDS CLANKING]

[CLATTERING]

* All I want is quiet No reason to deny it *

* I can't take that riot Quiet, quiet, quiet! *

* Let me clarify it The noise, I can't defy it *

* I simply will not buy it Give me quiet, quiet, quiet! *

* Now to nullify it I just won't stand by it *

* It's time now to bye-bye it I want quiet, quiet, quiet! *

[***]

[SIGHS]

[COW MOOS]

[LOUD MUNCHING]

[LOUD MUNCHING]

[OWL HOOTING]

[CRICKET CHIRPING]

* I want quiet, quiet, quiet! *

* This urge I can't deny it To find some peace and quiet *

* I'll search both Low and high *

* It must be Quiet, quiet, quiet! *

[***]

[BAGPIPES PLAYING]

Quiet!

[***]

Ah. Such peace, such joy.

[BELLS RINGING]

DOT: Quiet!

[***]

[SIGHS]

[TRUMPETING]

* I said quiet, quiet, quiet! *

[***]

[SIGHS]

[RUMBLING]

[***]

Yoo-hoo!

[VOICE ECHOING]

[SIGHS]

Hm.

Gee, it's so quiet.

Too quiet.

Terribly quiet.

Awfully quiet.

[SCREAMING]

* I thought I wanted quiet I thought I could apply it *

* But now that I have tried it *

* I'm sick and tired of quiet *

[LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHING]

[***]

YAKKO: Good night, Wakko.

WAKKO: Good night, Yakko. Good night, Dot.

DOT: Good night, Wakko. Good night, Yakko.

YAKKO: Good night, Dot. Good night, John-Boy.

JOHN-BOY: Let me out of this tower!