Original subtitles

[***]

ALL: * It's time for Animaniacs *

* And we're zany to the max *

* So just sit back and relax *

* You'll laugh Till you collapse *

* We're Animaniacs *

BOTH: * Come join The Warner brothers *

* And the Warner sister, Dot *

ALL: * Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot *

* They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught *

* But we break loose And then vamoose *

* And now you know the plot *

* We're Animaniacs *

* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *

* Wakko packs away the snacks *

* While Bill Clinton Plays the sax *

* We're Animaniacs *

* Meet Pinky and the Brain *

* Who want to rule The universe *

* Goodfeathers flock together *

* Slappy whacks 'em With her purse *

* Buttons chases Mindy *

* While Rita sings a verse *

* The writers flipped We have no script *

* Why bother to rehearse? *

* We're Animaniacs *

* We have pay-or-play Contracts *

* We're zany to the max *

* There's bologna In our slacks *

* We're Animan-y *

* Totally insane-y *

* Pinky and the Brain-y *

* Animaniacs *

* Those are the facts *

[***]

[***]

Candy, candy.

Candy, candy, candy.

How come Mr. Plotz wants to see me?

You ate his conference table, Wakko.

I was hungry.

[CLEARS THROAT] [CLEARS THROAT]

[SNIFFS]

[SNIFFS]

Mm, my, my, my, my.

Mm, my, my, my, my.

Stop doing everything I dos!

[CRASH] [GASPS]

[ALARM BUZZING]

What happened? We stopped.

Oh, no.

I think we're stucks.

[GASPS] But our meeting with Mr. Plotz.

I bet it's just for a second.

Yeah, yeah, you're probably right.

Heh. We wait.

Okay, see, o-one time-- O-okay,

one time Randy Beaman's grandparents

got stuck in an elevator.

And they were in there so long they became skeleton people.

[GULPS] Okay.

Come on, Mr. Elevator.

Time to move. Let's go. Come on.

Maybe we should call for help.

Yah. Good idea. Help!

Help!

Help!

What? I meant on the intercom.

I knew that. Let's see, now. Um...

[CLEARS THROAT]

Hello? I'm in an elevator not going anywhere.

Is--? Is someone there?

Hello? Anyone?

MAN: Warner Bros. Maintenance Depart-- Hold on a sec.

Hit it with the hammer, Big Ed. No, the hammer.

That's a wrench. That long thingy's a hammer.

Ahem. Sorry about that.

This is Goyt Ferman, what can I do you for?

Y-yeah, hello.

We are stuck in an elevator,

and we are late for an appointment with Mr. Plotz.

Ooh, that's bad. Okay,

you sit tight, and we'll get you out in a minute.

[SIGHS TWICE]

Now, let's just sit quietly

and wait for them to come, yah?

[SIGHS]

Wanna sing songs?

No. No songs.

Absolutely no songs.

BOTH: * Old MacDonald had a farm *

* E-I-E-I-O *

* With a quack-quack here And a quack-quack there *

* Here a quack, there a quack Everywhere a quack, quack *

* Old MacDonald had a farm *

* E-I-E-I-O *

* Camptown races Sing this song *

* Doodah, doodah *

* Camptown races Three miles long *

* Oh da-doodah-day *

* Chopsticks and chopsticks And chopsticks and chopsticks *

* And chopsticks and chopsticks And chopsticks, chop, chop *

* Chopsticks and chopsticks And chopsticks and chopsticks *

* And chopsticks and chopsticks And chopsticks, chop, chop *

Enough with the "Chopsticks"!

No more "Chopsticks"!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Please, Wakko, l beg you.

Just sit down.

Okay.

Hello? Anyone?!

GOYT: Ed, drop the saw and get the hammer.

That's a plunger.

Ahem. Warner Bros. Maintenance.

Yeah, hello? We are still in here.

Yes, sir. We're working on it. Hold on.

[SIGHS]

Hey, you wanna hear a joke?

No. I don't like the jokes, Wakko.

Not even a knock-knock joke?

No.

It's really funny.

Oh, all right. Fine.

One joke.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Max.

Max who?

Max wants to come in and go crazy.

Wait. Okay, now, that's not really a joke, is it?

You see, because it makes no sense.

It does if you know Max.

But I don't know Max!

If you did, you'd be laughing.

[GROWLING]

Get me out of here!

GOYT: You still in there?

It was our indication that you got out.

Oh. Really? Heh!

What gave you that indication?

That's just an indication we had.

Now, you listen to me, you little corporate lackey.

I've been stuck in an elevator for 10 hours

with a little boy telling me jokes,

and I am nauseous as well.

Now, do something!

Okay, first thing: Don't panic.

Second thing: Don't throw up.

Come on, Ed. Bring the hammer.

That's my leg!

We are doomed.

Wakko. You has got to get us out of here.

Do something silly and weird.

One of your big, silly, weird things.

Huh?

You know, something big and silly

from your gaggy bag.

I didn't bring it.

But you always has your gaggy bag.

Where is it?

Give me your gaggy bag.

[BANGING] Huh?

Hello?!

There's a banging in here.

That's Big Ed jumping up and down on the elevator.

BIG ED: I think it's stuck.

GOYT: Yeah, tell you what. We're gonna raise the elevator

up to the 18th floor

and drop it real quick.

Is that safe?

Don't know. Never tried it.

Ed likes the idea though. Don't you, Big Ed?

BIG ED: Oooh, howdy!

GOYT: Hold on in there and don't throw up.

Wheee!

Faster! Faster!

No!

[METAL SCRAPING]

I wanna do that again. Hey, in the elevator.

We're gonna go up and down a couple times super quick.

Go, Ed.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Hey, in the elevator.

Ed wants to jump up and down on it again. Go, Ed.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Hey, in the elevator. Guess what?

Big Ed's girth got it unstuck.

We're gonna lower you gently to the first floor. Go, Ed.

[BOTH SCREAM, GRUNT]

[CRASH, BOTH SCREAM]

Wasn't that neat?

I want to go home.

Hey, in the elevator. The doors are stuck,

so we're gonna have to use the Jaws of Life.

[BANG]

GOYT: You must be the people stuck in the elevator.

Uh-oh. That wasn't very smart of us, was it?

Well, looks like we're stuck till the next shift.

[DR. SCRATCHANSNIFF YELPS] GOYT: You wanna hear a joke?

Knock, knock. WAKKO: Who's there?

MAN: Max. DR. SCRATCHANSNIFF: Help!

Help!

Get me out of here! Help!

[***]

NARRATOR: And now the story

of The Brave Little Trailer.

[THUNDER CRASHING]

There was a little trailer

who lived in a court...

that got trashed by tornadoes

whose tempers were short.

Whoa!

The losers got fed to the monster next door:

a steam shovel who loved to eat trailers galore.

But the Brave Little Trailer

ducked out of the way.

And lived to fight twisters on some other day.

And so this is what the Brave Little Trailer would say:

Those cyclones may think that I'm weaker and frailer,

but they'll never smoosh me.

I'm a smart little trailer.

[GASPS]

For no matter how big

or how long or how scary,

no twister could touch him.

I'm simply too wary.

So the years came and went,

and with them, much thunder.

But where tornadoes failed,

time had stepped in to plunder.

The Brave Little Trailer

was older and dusty.

My wheels are worn out,

and my axle is rusty.

The new trailers had high-tech features and polish.

Which you know the next twister is gonna demolish.

His neighbors, all newer,

more modern and sleeker, said:

This guy's making our neighborhood weaker.

Why, he's driving down values

and looks totally spent.

The scrap heap is where he ought to be sent.

So for the Brave Little Trailer,

that was a wrap.

He was sent to the junkyard

and there sold for scrap.

The steam shovel licked

its steel chops with glee

at the sight of its dinner.

The main course is me. [THUNDER CRASHES]

When all of a sudden,

ripping down from the sky,

came the mother of cyclones.

Stopping by to say hi.

The high-tech trailers

shut their windows all tight

and stood there unmoving,

an arrogant sight.

With our new weather radar, there is no delay

ascertaining that doom is now heading this way.

Indeed, this was our hero's

big moment of truth.

Too bad that I'm here

and not in Duluth.

But now the Brave Little Trailer

had his craftiest plot. [GROWLING]

Frankly, I was thinking of just crying a lot.

But instead, he slapped the shovel

square in the face

which sent the two rivals

into a chase.

Our hero moved swiftly,

avoiding the clench...

Of the shovel, who angrily dug a deep trench.

Soon the steam shovel's trench

became a big crater.

Pay attention to this.

There's a quiz on it later.

And now our small hero

led the chase underground,

where all you could hear

was a fierce crunching sound.

[ALL GASP]

Then suddenly, up into view from below,

popped our own Little Trailer.

That shovel's a schmo.

[GROWLS]

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

Huh?

He leapt in the air to taunt the big bruiser,

and the thug took the bait

to wind up the loser

in a square-off that pulled him into the funnel.

BRAVE LITTLE TRAILER: And there was no light at the end of that tunnel.

The steam shovel flew,

then fell all apart,

and everyone knew...

Now, that's gotta smart.

Now half of the twister's foul work was all done.

But what's this?

That little guy spoiled all his fun.

Hold it, pipsqueak.

The cyclone did bellow.

And things sure looked bleak for our poor little fellow.

But the trailer worked quickly, and without delay,

he pushed all his neighbors

right out of harm's way.

Then our hero called up

from his simple dirt dome:

Ah, go chase your tail.

There's no place like home.

The big twister pounded,

as all cyclones do.

But underground's the one place

those guys can't get to.

The new high-tech trailers

were now safe from the wrath

of the twister,

who dropped all it had in its path,

till it played out its rage

and wore down to a level

where our hero stomped out

the annoying dust devil.

You can call me a wise guy,

a cranky old grump,

but when it comes to tornadoes,

heh! I'm nobody's chump.

[ALL CHEERING]

And that's a story

all little trailers should know.

ALL: Good night, Gramps. [SQUEAKING]

Good night, kids. Now, I gotta go.

Up to the roof. It's a quarter to 9.

Time for an old pal

to turn on my sign.

[***]

We two are old friends now.

We share in the work.

But I don't pay him much

'cause he's still a big jerk.

[***]

[***]

Gee, Brain. What do you wanna do tonight?

The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world.

* They're Pinky And the Brain *

* They're Pinky And the Brain *

* One is a genius *

* The other's insane *

* To prove their mousy worth *

* They'll overthrow The Earth *

* They're dinky They're Pinky *

* And the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain *

[***]

ANNOUNCER: And now we visit the Warner Bros. animation studio

for another segment in our almost nonexistent series

on the making of cartoons.

Today, voice recording.

Here in a recording studio,

actors must occasionally replace lines

and add new ones while they watch the action on a screen.

In this case, the Brain has been brought back

to replace some dialogue.

PINKY: We're here. Narf! Ha-ha-ha!

Brain, you're here. Great.

And only 45 minutes late today.

You, leave.

But, Brain, I-- I'm the producer.

Then leave very quickly.

You as well. Go.

Come on, Brain.

I write all your best material.

Shakespeare wrote my best material.

You write drivel unfit for a light-bulb commercial.

You too, leave.

Go. Out.

Brain, I am the director.

You were the director.

Pinky will direct this session.

But-- I take direction from one person

under protest.

But from two I don't sit still.

Now go.

I can't believe that guy.

I Taft-Hartley'd him on his first job.

I heard that.

PINKY: Hi, Harry. Hi.

Ready to go, Brain? Yes.

PINKY: Okay. We're going to run the picture,

and you read the copy.

Animaniacs 406-859, take one.

"We know a remote farm in Lincolnshire

"where Mrs. Buckley lives.

Every July, peas grow there."

Do you really mean that?

Uh, yeah. But if you could start a half second later...

Don't you think you really wanna say "July" over the snow?

Isn't that the fun of it?

I think it's so nice that you see

a snow-covered field

and say, "Every July, peas grow there." PINKY: Um--

We're talking about 'em growing, and she's picked 'em.

Well, we want to be out of that snowy field.

But I was out. We were on to a can of peas,

a big...dish of peas,

when I said "in July."

PINKY: Oh, sorry. Yes, always.

I'm always p-past that. PINKY: Y-you are.

Yes. Um...

can you emphasize a bit "in," "in July"?

Why? That doesn't make any sense.

Sorry. There's no known way of saying an English sentence

in which you begin a sentence with "in" and emphasize it.

Get me a jury and show me how you can say, "in July,"

and I'll make cheese for you.

That's just idiotic, if you'll forgive my saying so.

That's just stupid. "In July."

Impossible, meaningless.

I was just thinking that-- You aren't thinking.

Brain, it was my fault. I said, "in July."

If you could leave "every July."

You didn't say it. He said it.

You're a friend.

Too much directing around here.

Right, why don't we move on?

Um, Animaniacs406-859,

take two.

"We know a certain fjord in Norway,

near where the cod gather in great shoals."

"There, Jan St--

St-- Staguland--" Shoot.

Um, a fraction more on that "shoals" thing, Brain.

Because you rolled it round there very nicely.

Yes, roll it round and I have no more time.

You don't know what I'm up against.

This is a very wearying one.

It's unpleasant to read.

Unrewarding.

Let's just move on. Next cue.

Here, under protest, is "Beef Burgers."

"We know a little place in the American Far West

"where Charlie Briggs chops up the finest prairie-fed beef

and tastes--"

This is a lot of tripe, you know that?

You want one more? We do, actually.

And you missed the first "beef", actually, completely.

What do you mean, missed it?

You're emphasizing "prairie-fed."

But you can't emphasize "beef."

That's like wanting me to emphasize "in" before "July."

Come on, fellas, you're losing your heads. PINKY: Sorry.

I wouldn't direct a living actor like this in Shakespeare,

the way you do this. It's impossible.

PINKY: Well, you did the first six lines and--

The right reading for this is the one I'm giving it.

At the moment.

I heard that.

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

You are such pests.

Now, what is it you want?

In your depths of your ignorance,

what is it you want?

Whatever it is you want, I can't deliver it,

'cause I just don't see it.

That was absolutely fine. It really was.

Now, could we just have one more go, please, sorry?

Why? I just did it right.

I'm not used to having more than one person in there.

One more word out of you, and you go, is that clear?

Yes, sir.

Who the heck are you, anyway?

HARRY: I'm the engineer.

Well, why are you asking me for another one?

Well, I thought there was a slight gonk.

Jiminy.

What is a gonk? Do you mind telling me what that is, please?

Well, it's like a "narf," but from outside.

"Like a narf but from outside."

So can we just have one more go, Brain?

No. Absolutely not.

There's no money in the world worth this kind of aggravation.

If you want this done,

you'll just have to find some actor

who does...impressions.

Good luck and good day.

WOMAN: All right, are you all here to audition

for the part of the Brain?

ALL: Yes, always.

[***]

[CLEARS THROAT]

On second thought, fellas,

let's...try it again, shall we?

Right-o, Brain.

But, Pinky...

remember, we must be finished by 6.

Why, Brain? What are we gonna do tonight?

The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world.

* They're dinky They're Pinky *

* And the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain *

[***]

ALL: Ciao-a-bunga.