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1
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[***]
2
00:00:07,267 --> 00:00:11,033
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *
3
00:00:11,033 --> 00:00:13,667
* And we're zany to the max *
4
00:00:13,667 --> 00:00:15,434
* So just sit back and relax *
5
00:00:15,434 --> 00:00:17,133
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *
6
00:00:17,133 --> 00:00:19,534
* We're Animaniacs *
7
00:00:19,534 --> 00:00:21,334
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *
8
00:00:21,334 --> 00:00:22,968
* And the Warner sister, Dot *
9
00:00:22,968 --> 00:00:25,968
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *
10
00:00:25,968 --> 00:00:28,634
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *
11
00:00:28,634 --> 00:00:30,334
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *
12
00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:31,534
* And now you know the plot *
13
00:00:31,534 --> 00:00:34,067
* We're Animaniacs *
14
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:37,033
* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *
15
00:00:37,033 --> 00:00:38,367
* Wakko packs away the snacks *
16
00:00:38,367 --> 00:00:40,067
* While Bill Clinton
Plays the sax *
17
00:00:40,067 --> 00:00:42,133
* We're Animaniacs *
18
00:00:43,234 --> 00:00:44,467
* Meet Pinky and the Brain *
19
00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:45,968
* Who want to rule
The universe *
20
00:00:45,968 --> 00:00:47,334
* Goodfeathers flock together *
21
00:00:47,334 --> 00:00:48,868
* Slappy whacks 'em
With her purse *
22
00:00:48,868 --> 00:00:50,167
* Buttons chases Mindy *
23
00:00:50,167 --> 00:00:51,734
* While Rita sings a verse *
24
00:00:51,734 --> 00:00:53,467
* The writers flipped
We have no script *
25
00:00:53,467 --> 00:00:54,634
* Why bother to rehearse? *
26
00:00:54,634 --> 00:00:57,400
* We're Animaniacs *
27
00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,234
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *
28
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,667
* We're zany to the max *
29
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:03,334
* There's bologna
In our slacks *
30
00:01:03,334 --> 00:01:04,901
* We're Animan-y *
31
00:01:04,901 --> 00:01:06,234
* Totally insane-y *
32
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,767
* Come back, Shane-y *
33
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:10,000
* Animaniacs *
34
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,467
* Those are the facts *
35
00:01:13,634 --> 00:01:16,067
[***]
36
00:01:16,067 --> 00:01:20,968
* Who can turn the stove on
With her smile? *
37
00:01:22,801 --> 00:01:25,501
* Who can take a bubble bath *
38
00:01:25,501 --> 00:01:28,767
* And suddenly fill it
With crocodiles? *
39
00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:32,133
* 'Cause it's you, Dot
And you should know it *
40
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:35,767
* Put nitro on a bridge
Go ahead and blow it *
41
00:01:35,767 --> 00:01:38,667
* Mud is all around
I guess it's spring *
42
00:01:38,667 --> 00:01:42,434
* Name another crooner
Other than Bing *
43
00:01:42,434 --> 00:01:47,767
* Don't throw your hat
Up in the air *
44
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:53,300
* 'Cause what might land
Is a Frigidaire *
45
00:01:54,701 --> 00:01:56,033
* Dot *
46
00:02:02,901 --> 00:02:05,534
The building behind me
is Windsor Castle,
47
00:02:05,534 --> 00:02:08,767
one of the royal family's
most magnificent dwellings.
48
00:02:08,767 --> 00:02:13,100
Sadly, a fire in 1992 destroyed
much of the castle's interior.
49
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:16,033
Queen Elizabeth herself
is personally supervising
50
00:02:16,033 --> 00:02:18,467
the restoration
of the grand banquet room,
51
00:02:18,467 --> 00:02:21,167
the showpiece
of this remarkable structure.
52
00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:25,267
For the next three hours,
we'll examine this restoration.
53
00:02:25,267 --> 00:02:27,501
We'll find out how it was done.
We'll explore--
54
00:02:27,501 --> 00:02:28,901
We want to see
a cartoon!
55
00:02:28,901 --> 00:02:30,234
We wanted cartoons!
56
00:02:31,267 --> 00:02:32,434
All right, fine.
57
00:02:32,434 --> 00:02:34,167
We'll just see
a silly little cartoon
58
00:02:34,167 --> 00:02:35,300
about the whole thing.
59
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:37,267
CHILDREN:
Yay!
60
00:02:37,267 --> 00:02:39,234
Wretched, snotty, little
children.
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00:02:40,834 --> 00:02:43,234
ANNOUNCER:
And now, the cartoon.
62
00:02:49,033 --> 00:02:51,033
[***]
63
00:02:54,567 --> 00:02:56,400
Put some elbow into it!
64
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,634
We must have this room finished
in time for the banquet tonight.
65
00:02:59,634 --> 00:03:00,701
Chop, chop!
66
00:03:00,701 --> 00:03:02,667
[***]
67
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:06,400
[BOTH BLOW RASPBERRIES]
68
00:03:08,901 --> 00:03:12,901
Really, Mummy, why do we have
to redecorate the banquet room?
69
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,667
Because we used up the budget
on the rest of the castle.
70
00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:16,901
Now, back to work!
71
00:03:16,901 --> 00:03:18,834
[SOBBING]
I'll never be queen!
72
00:03:18,834 --> 00:03:21,734
[TEARFULLY]
My paintbrush doesn't work!
73
00:03:23,167 --> 00:03:24,367
Twit.
74
00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:28,367
I don't wanna do
this poop anymore.
75
00:03:28,367 --> 00:03:30,000
I want some tea.
76
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,000
[ALL COMPLAINING INDISTINCTLY]
77
00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:34,400
Silence!
78
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,100
All day long,
whine, whine, whine!
79
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:39,434
What kind of family
have we raised?
80
00:03:39,434 --> 00:03:41,267
QUEEN MUM:
Just look at you.
81
00:03:41,267 --> 00:03:43,501
Well, if you don't want to help,
then leave.
82
00:03:44,701 --> 00:03:47,000
ROYAL FAMILY:
Hooray!
83
00:03:50,501 --> 00:03:51,501
Hmph!
84
00:03:51,501 --> 00:03:54,167
We'll just do it ourselves.
85
00:04:00,033 --> 00:04:02,868
We'll never have it finished
for tonight's banquet.
86
00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:04,133
YAKKO:
Hey, move over.
87
00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:05,534
WAKKO:
You move over.
88
00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:09,534
[IN UNISON]
Hello, queen!
89
00:04:09,534 --> 00:04:11,467
[IN UNISON]
Mwah!
90
00:04:11,467 --> 00:04:12,467
Ew.
91
00:04:14,501 --> 00:04:16,467
You know, you really oughta
clean that purse.
92
00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:17,467
[COUGHING]
93
00:04:17,467 --> 00:04:18,901
Who are you?
94
00:04:18,901 --> 00:04:21,801
BOTH:
We're the Warner brothers!
95
00:04:21,801 --> 00:04:23,601
And we proudly present...
96
00:04:23,601 --> 00:04:24,601
[HORNS PLAY LOUDLY]
97
00:04:26,868 --> 00:04:28,434
Her Decorating Highness,
98
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:30,934
Princess Angelina
Contessa Louisa Francesca
99
00:04:30,934 --> 00:04:33,200
Banana Fanna Bo Besca III.
100
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,200
[***]
101
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:38,767
Ta-da!
102
00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:42,300
Decorator Dot, at your service.
103
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:45,400
You, a decorator?
What are your credentials?
104
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,734
Well, I'm cheap.
105
00:04:47,734 --> 00:04:49,234
[CASH REGISTER RINGS]
106
00:04:49,234 --> 00:04:50,801
You're hired!
107
00:04:50,801 --> 00:04:53,334
She might even let us fix
London Bridge.
108
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:54,334
Why's that?
109
00:04:54,334 --> 00:04:55,901
Keeps falling down.
110
00:04:55,901 --> 00:04:58,434
Now, we would like you
to begin work immediately.
111
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,634
Who'd like us to begin?
112
00:05:02,634 --> 00:05:05,300
We would. Us. Ourselves.
113
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,367
How many people you got
in there?
114
00:05:07,367 --> 00:05:09,634
[ECHOING]
Hello? Hello?
115
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:11,467
Get away from us!
116
00:05:11,467 --> 00:05:12,701
She needs therapy.
117
00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:20,000
All right, Sybil,
who am I speaking to now?
118
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,200
We insist that you stop this.
119
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,000
You people are crazy.
120
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,434
Look who's talkin'.
121
00:05:25,434 --> 00:05:27,367
[ALL BABBLING]
122
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:28,968
We are not amused.
123
00:05:28,968 --> 00:05:30,868
Well, we certainly are.
124
00:05:30,868 --> 00:05:32,434
[ALL LAUGHING]
125
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:35,801
Stop this foolishness!
126
00:05:35,801 --> 00:05:37,434
All right,
but if you freak out again,
127
00:05:37,434 --> 00:05:39,267
we're using
the elephant tranquilizer.
128
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,300
Listen, lady,
we've got a lot of work to do,
129
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,734
so why don't you just go do
your little queen things?
130
00:05:44,734 --> 00:05:46,133
Well!
131
00:05:46,133 --> 00:05:47,968
[PASSES GAS LOUDLY]
132
00:05:47,968 --> 00:05:49,567
Oh, my.
133
00:05:52,334 --> 00:05:55,167
You found it! Thanks.
134
00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:56,267
[GROWLS]
135
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,701
That's gotta go.
136
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,801
And that.
137
00:06:02,934 --> 00:06:04,534
And that.
138
00:06:04,534 --> 00:06:05,667
[QUEEN MUM SCREAMING]
139
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,868
Mummy, look at me!
140
00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:12,767
I'm Papageno in The Magic Flute.
141
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,534
[GRUNTING]
142
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,634
Knock, knock.
WAKKO:Who's there?
143
00:06:22,634 --> 00:06:24,834
The queen.
The queen, who?
144
00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:27,901
The queen of England!
145
00:06:27,901 --> 00:06:30,367
That's not a very funny
knock-knock joke.
146
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,434
[QUEEN SCREAMS]
147
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,667
What have you done?
148
00:06:37,367 --> 00:06:38,734
A dinette set?
149
00:06:38,734 --> 00:06:41,734
The royal banquet room
has a dinette set?
150
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,033
You like?
151
00:06:43,033 --> 00:06:44,033
No!
152
00:06:44,033 --> 00:06:45,501
Well,
what does Sybil think?
153
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,100
I want some tea.
154
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:50,868
Oh, not now, Mummy.
155
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:53,701
That's not a mummy.
156
00:06:54,834 --> 00:06:56,734
Now, that's a mummy.
157
00:06:56,734 --> 00:06:59,300
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
158
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:02,100
You people have ruined
everything.
159
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:05,033
The royal banquet's tonight
and look at this room.
160
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,801
It's all wrong!
161
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,400
Well, how should it look?
162
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:09,901
Like that.
163
00:07:09,901 --> 00:07:12,334
That's how it was
before the fire.
164
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:14,801
We can do that.
165
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:16,000
Yeah, no prob.
166
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,701
It's just gonna cost
a little more.
167
00:07:17,701 --> 00:07:19,501
More? More money?
168
00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:21,334
But there's no more
in the budget.
169
00:07:21,334 --> 00:07:22,734
It's all gone! Gone!
170
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:23,767
[SOBS]
171
00:07:23,767 --> 00:07:26,067
All right, sibs,
let's get to work.
172
00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:27,701
But how's she gonna pay for it?
173
00:07:27,701 --> 00:07:29,834
I have an idea.
174
00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:33,934
That's right,
Yakko had a brilliant idea.
175
00:07:33,934 --> 00:07:35,601
An idea that would pay
for the cost
176
00:07:35,601 --> 00:07:36,868
of the redecorating.
177
00:07:36,868 --> 00:07:38,367
[CHATTERING]
178
00:07:40,234 --> 00:07:41,534
It's gorgeous.
179
00:07:41,534 --> 00:07:43,534
You'd never know
there'd been a fire.
180
00:07:58,100 --> 00:08:00,767
You're a smarty every day.
181
00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:05,901
Let's see.
182
00:08:05,901 --> 00:08:08,901
That's fruit cup,
mashed potatoes--
183
00:08:08,901 --> 00:08:10,400
Move your hand!
184
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,868
Two pats of butter.
That's extra.
185
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,334
Oh, goody, goody.
186
00:08:14,334 --> 00:08:16,634
[CASH REGISTER DINGING]
187
00:08:16,634 --> 00:08:18,767
We should open up
a whole chain.
188
00:08:20,434 --> 00:08:22,434
[***]
189
00:08:24,501 --> 00:08:26,367
And that's just
what the queen did.
190
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:28,801
She opened up
a whole chain of cafeterias.
191
00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:30,000
How did she do it?
192
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,534
What was the process?
193
00:08:31,534 --> 00:08:34,567
For the next three hours--
194
00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:38,467
[BRITISH ACCENT]
We declare this cartoon
officially over.
195
00:08:38,467 --> 00:08:39,934
Be free.
196
00:08:39,934 --> 00:08:41,434
[CHILDREN CHEER]
197
00:08:43,868 --> 00:08:45,934
I still want my tea!
198
00:08:49,767 --> 00:08:52,834
The building behind me
is Windsor Castle,
199
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:56,300
one of the royal family's
most magnificent dwellings.
200
00:09:00,767 --> 00:09:04,100
* The crankiest of creatures
In the whole wide world *
201
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:07,634
* Our next cartoon
Features Slappy the squirrel *
202
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:11,467
Enough with the singin' already.
203
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,334
*That's Slappy *
204
00:09:21,868 --> 00:09:23,868
[***]
205
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:29,901
BAILIFF:
Court is in session.
206
00:09:29,901 --> 00:09:32,467
Honorable Judge Lupine
presiding.
207
00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:34,167
Let's get this thing rolling.
208
00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:36,033
State v. Slappy Squirrel.
209
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:38,801
Charge is assault
with intent to squash.
210
00:09:38,801 --> 00:09:40,434
How does
the defendant plead?
211
00:09:40,434 --> 00:09:42,234
This is an outrage!
212
00:09:42,234 --> 00:09:44,400
I can't believe
they're givin' this Urkel kid
213
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,434
a Golden Wombat Award.
214
00:09:46,434 --> 00:09:48,567
He's never even done
a spit take.
215
00:09:48,567 --> 00:09:51,567
Uh, not guilty as charged,
there.
216
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:53,000
Is prosecution ready?
217
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,200
Ready to see justice done,
Your Honor.
218
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:00,567
[GRUNTING]
219
00:10:02,467 --> 00:10:04,501
[CHUCKLES]
220
00:10:05,467 --> 00:10:06,734
Aunt Slappy,
221
00:10:06,734 --> 00:10:09,701
I don't think you can get
a fair trial here.
222
00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:12,033
Whatever gave you that idea?
223
00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:14,334
[***]
224
00:10:14,334 --> 00:10:15,901
Listen, don't worry
about the whole
225
00:10:15,901 --> 00:10:17,400
jurisprudence,
change of venue,
226
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,167
e pluribus unum thing here.
227
00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,934
I got a dynamite case.
228
00:10:20,934 --> 00:10:23,567
Very well,
prosecution may proceed.
229
00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:27,100
And hurry up. I've got
a clog-dancing lesson at 2.
230
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:30,100
I call Walter Wolf to the stand.
231
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:33,534
You've had a horrible
experience, haven't you?
232
00:10:33,534 --> 00:10:34,934
Oh, yes.
233
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,767
I just want this to be over
234
00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:39,934
so I can go back to helping
people in need.
235
00:10:39,934 --> 00:10:42,434
ALL:
Aww.
236
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:43,567
Oh, please, Walter.
237
00:10:43,567 --> 00:10:45,300
If you acted that good
in your cartoons,
238
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:46,567
you'd be swimmin' in Oscars.
239
00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:49,701
Walter, in your own words,
240
00:10:49,701 --> 00:10:52,334
describe the events of June 4th.
241
00:10:52,334 --> 00:10:55,367
Well,
what really happened was this:
242
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:59,033
I was taking
my morning constitutional
243
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,334
through the forest,
244
00:11:00,334 --> 00:11:04,000
trying, in my small way,
to make the woods
245
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,534
a better place to live.
246
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:07,734
Good morning,
brother birdie.
247
00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,634
[CHIRPING]
248
00:11:14,434 --> 00:11:16,234
[KISSES]
[SIGHS]
249
00:11:17,934 --> 00:11:20,434
[BOY CRYING]
250
00:11:20,434 --> 00:11:22,701
WALTER:
Then, to my surprise,
251
00:11:22,701 --> 00:11:26,300
I heard young Skippy Squirrel
crying.
252
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:29,300
Why, Skippy, my young friend,
whatever happened to you?
253
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:32,968
Aunt Slappy yelled at me
for no reason.
254
00:11:32,968 --> 00:11:35,200
Oh, now,
you mustn't be too harsh
255
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,300
on your old aunt.
256
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,567
Her brain hasn't gotten
any oxygen
257
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,033
since the early '70s.
258
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,467
It's not her fault.
259
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:45,267
I've brought her a wagon
full of yummy cakes.
260
00:11:45,267 --> 00:11:48,334
I'll bet they make
everything better.
261
00:11:48,334 --> 00:11:51,067
WALTER:
I waved a cheerful goodbye
to Skippy.
262
00:11:51,067 --> 00:11:53,868
Then I merrily pranced
to Slappy's house.
263
00:11:56,267 --> 00:11:58,300
[***]
264
00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:02,367
[DOORBELL RINGS]
265
00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:06,834
[SCOFFS]
Walter Wolf,
you miserable do-gooder.
266
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:08,601
Good morning, Slappy.
267
00:12:08,601 --> 00:12:09,868
I've brought you
yummy cakes
268
00:12:09,868 --> 00:12:12,667
that will snap you out
of your foul mood.
269
00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:14,367
Look at your feet.
270
00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:16,634
What's the meaning of this,
271
00:12:16,634 --> 00:12:18,501
my old friend and associate?
272
00:12:18,501 --> 00:12:21,901
I'm gonna get ya, Walter.
You know why?
273
00:12:21,901 --> 00:12:23,868
For no good reason at all.
274
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,267
Hoo! Let me go.
I've done nothing.
275
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:33,267
[***]
276
00:12:34,767 --> 00:12:37,267
WALTER:
And so, to my dismay,
277
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:40,267
what had begun as
a day of good works
278
00:12:40,267 --> 00:12:43,434
was fast becoming
a carnival of terror.
279
00:12:45,434 --> 00:12:46,934
[ALL SOBBING]
280
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,334
[SOBBING]
281
00:12:52,334 --> 00:12:53,968
I only wanted to help.
282
00:12:53,968 --> 00:12:55,767
Was that such a crime?
283
00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:58,100
[TEARFULLY]
Of course not, Walter.
284
00:12:58,100 --> 00:12:59,934
[QUIETLY]
By the way,
golf this Sunday?
285
00:12:59,934 --> 00:13:03,667
[QUIETLY]
Sure, Ed. Let's tee off at 9.
My best to the missus.
286
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:05,567
No further questions.
287
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,434
Your witness.
288
00:13:10,634 --> 00:13:12,767
Walter, do you know
that you're under oath?
289
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:14,167
Yes.
Do you know
290
00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:15,801
that perjury is against
the law?
291
00:13:15,801 --> 00:13:17,033
[GULPS]
Yes.
292
00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:18,834
Do you know if pita bread
and hot root beer
293
00:13:18,834 --> 00:13:19,868
will give ya gas?
294
00:13:19,868 --> 00:13:21,767
Uh, I don't know.
295
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:23,701
No further questions.
296
00:13:23,701 --> 00:13:27,033
Aunt Slappy,
why'd you ask that question?
297
00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:28,667
I was just curious.
298
00:13:38,367 --> 00:13:39,934
State your name.
299
00:13:39,934 --> 00:13:41,400
Skippy Squirrel.
300
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,234
Occupation?
301
00:13:43,234 --> 00:13:46,100
Uh, I'm a squirrel.
302
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,968
Ooh, riveting questioning,
don't ya think?
303
00:13:48,968 --> 00:13:50,400
Now, then,
304
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,234
describe for the court
what you claim to have seen
305
00:13:53,234 --> 00:13:54,834
on the morning of June 4th.
306
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:58,467
Okay, what really happened
was this:
307
00:13:58,467 --> 00:14:01,234
I was on my way
to visit aunt Slappy
308
00:14:01,234 --> 00:14:04,334
when Walter Wolf drove by
in a huge catapult.
309
00:14:04,334 --> 00:14:05,334
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
310
00:14:05,334 --> 00:14:07,834
[***]
311
00:14:07,834 --> 00:14:10,501
He looked so scary
that my fur hurt.
312
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,133
And so I hid.
313
00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:13,167
And then he said:
314
00:14:13,167 --> 00:14:14,901
Only Slappy Squirrel
315
00:14:14,901 --> 00:14:17,334
stands between me
and total control
316
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:18,434
of the woodland.
317
00:14:18,434 --> 00:14:19,667
Once she's gone,
318
00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:22,734
I'll bend this forest
to my fiendish will.
319
00:14:22,734 --> 00:14:24,434
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
320
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:30,300
Who says you have to be
a coyote to set traps?
321
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:32,901
I'm gonna whop Slappy so hard,
322
00:14:32,901 --> 00:14:35,467
her IQ will go up 20 points.
323
00:14:36,734 --> 00:14:39,200
Bees.
I'll toss bees into her home.
324
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,868
Nobody likes that.
325
00:14:40,868 --> 00:14:42,868
[***]
326
00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:58,601
My final act of vengeance
on Slappy Squirrel.
327
00:14:58,601 --> 00:15:01,000
Ooh, wrongdoing is good.
328
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,000
SKIPPY:
Walter was gonna throw bees
329
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,667
at Aunt Slappy.
I couldn't believe it.
330
00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:08,434
Aunt Slappy is
the most nicest squirrel
331
00:15:08,434 --> 00:15:09,634
in the whole wide world.
332
00:15:13,667 --> 00:15:15,334
I had to warn her.
333
00:15:15,334 --> 00:15:17,033
It's a trap, Aunt Slappy!
334
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:21,701
Get lost, ya overgrown rat.
335
00:15:21,701 --> 00:15:24,834
SKIPPY:
And Walter booted me,
and I rolled a lot.
336
00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:27,033
And then there was
all these explosions,
337
00:15:27,033 --> 00:15:29,901
and I didn't see what happened.
338
00:15:31,334 --> 00:15:35,033
But later, Aunt Slappy came
and got me, and we ate a pear.
339
00:15:35,033 --> 00:15:36,934
That's the truth.
340
00:15:36,934 --> 00:15:38,701
[JURY SNORING]
341
00:15:43,834 --> 00:15:45,834
[WHISPERS]
Did you tell him
it had jelly in it?
342
00:15:45,834 --> 00:15:48,334
[YAWNS]
Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.
343
00:15:48,334 --> 00:15:50,534
Oh, sorry, are you done?
344
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,767
Your witness.
345
00:15:55,934 --> 00:15:58,601
Hi, Skippy.
Hi,
Aunt Slappy.
346
00:15:58,601 --> 00:16:01,400
Answer this question
to the best of your knowledge:
347
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,834
Do you know if Mr. Magoo
is in jail in Mexico?
348
00:16:05,534 --> 00:16:06,534
Yes.
349
00:16:06,534 --> 00:16:07,734
Oh, that's too bad.
350
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,434
I always wondered
what happened to him.
351
00:16:09,434 --> 00:16:11,767
No further questions here.
352
00:16:13,801 --> 00:16:16,901
Aunt Slappy,
ya gotta ask better questions.
353
00:16:16,901 --> 00:16:18,868
They're gonna railroad you.
354
00:16:18,868 --> 00:16:21,133
All aboard!
355
00:16:21,133 --> 00:16:23,767
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
356
00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:26,634
Relax.
I'm just warmin' up here.
357
00:16:26,634 --> 00:16:28,634
I now call to the stand
358
00:16:28,634 --> 00:16:31,467
Slappy Squirrel.
359
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:37,234
[***]
360
00:16:37,234 --> 00:16:39,534
JUDGE:
Slappy Squirrel, take the stand.
361
00:16:39,534 --> 00:16:43,167
Ms. Squirrel, tell the court
what you claim happened
362
00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:44,634
on the morning of June 4th.
363
00:16:44,634 --> 00:16:45,701
Just the high points.
364
00:16:45,701 --> 00:16:47,467
I have to pick up my kid
from Gymboree.
365
00:16:47,467 --> 00:16:49,434
This is what really happened:
366
00:16:49,434 --> 00:16:51,501
I was sweepin' out some old junk
from my house
367
00:16:51,501 --> 00:16:52,801
when I heard my nephew.
368
00:16:52,801 --> 00:16:54,501
SKIPPY:
It's a trap, Aunt Slappy!
369
00:16:54,501 --> 00:16:56,467
SLAPPY:
When you get to be my age,
370
00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:58,067
you've seen every trap
in the book.
371
00:16:58,067 --> 00:17:00,000
And sure enough,
there was Walter
372
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,067
usin' rope-snare trap
number 435.
373
00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:07,601
This is too embarrassin'
to watch.
374
00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:10,467
[***]
375
00:17:10,467 --> 00:17:11,968
[BUZZING]
376
00:17:13,801 --> 00:17:15,300
[CHUCKLES]
377
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,334
[***]
378
00:17:25,334 --> 00:17:28,133
Looks like fourth down
and long here.
379
00:17:32,901 --> 00:17:35,067
Yow! Ooch! Ow!
380
00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:36,067
Oh, I don't like bees.
381
00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:37,200
Ouch! Ooh!
382
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,534
But who does?
Are you kiddin'?
383
00:17:38,534 --> 00:17:40,501
Hoo. Hyah! Hoo. Oh.
384
00:17:40,501 --> 00:17:41,501
Hoo-ah!
Hey, Walter,
385
00:17:41,501 --> 00:17:43,267
you look good in a beehive.
Ooh! Ah!
386
00:17:43,267 --> 00:17:44,467
[LAUGHS]
387
00:17:44,467 --> 00:17:46,000
Ah, somebody stop me.
388
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,100
SLAPPY:
Like the old sayin' goes:
389
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,534
"Give someone enough rope...
390
00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:51,000
and they'll tie it
to a catapult."
391
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,234
Eh, somethin' like that.
392
00:17:52,234 --> 00:17:54,534
What do you want from me?
I'm old.
393
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:05,367
For Walter,
394
00:18:05,367 --> 00:18:06,634
it wasn't a bad trap,
395
00:18:06,634 --> 00:18:08,367
but it needed
a pinch of something extra
396
00:18:08,367 --> 00:18:09,701
to make it special.
397
00:18:09,701 --> 00:18:11,234
Call me old-fashioned,
398
00:18:11,234 --> 00:18:13,901
but I've always been a believer
in the big bang theory.
399
00:18:13,901 --> 00:18:16,734
So I added enough explosives
to blow up Greenland.
400
00:18:16,734 --> 00:18:19,234
As a professional,
I take my work seriously.
401
00:18:20,734 --> 00:18:22,734
[***]
402
00:18:49,434 --> 00:18:50,701
As you can see,
403
00:18:50,701 --> 00:18:53,267
the way Walter and Skippy told,
it was way off.
404
00:18:53,267 --> 00:18:54,734
I didn't just squash him.
405
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,834
I blasted him
into little pieces of lint
406
00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:58,634
like you find
at the bottom of your purse.
407
00:18:58,634 --> 00:19:01,100
Prosecution rests.
408
00:19:02,634 --> 00:19:04,400
All finished here.
409
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:05,501
Very well, Slappy.
410
00:19:05,501 --> 00:19:07,701
The jury's decision
will be final.
411
00:19:07,701 --> 00:19:09,133
Has the jury reached a verdict?
412
00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:10,968
Uh, we have, Your Honor.
413
00:19:10,968 --> 00:19:13,534
Uh, we, the jury,
find the defendant,
414
00:19:13,534 --> 00:19:15,667
uh, Slappy Squirrel, uh,
415
00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:16,667
not guilty.
416
00:19:16,667 --> 00:19:18,667
What?
[IN UNISON]
No!
417
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:21,033
[TEETH CHATTERING]
418
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:23,767
Good choice.
419
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,834
Hoo. You said
I couldn't lose!
420
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,634
You said everything was
taken care of!
421
00:19:30,634 --> 00:19:31,934
If you weren't my grandson,
422
00:19:31,934 --> 00:19:34,601
I'd really clobber you,
you meshuggener.
423
00:19:34,601 --> 00:19:36,267
Ow. Cut it out, Grandpa.
424
00:19:36,267 --> 00:19:39,133
I'm an attorney. I'm bonded.
425
00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:42,133
Wow, Aunt Slappy,
that was really neat.
426
00:19:42,133 --> 00:19:43,801
But how did you win?
427
00:19:43,801 --> 00:19:45,267
I told ya, Skippy,
428
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,834
I had a dynamite case.
429
00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:50,834
[EXPLOSION]
430
00:19:53,868 --> 00:19:55,000
Ha!
431
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,968
Now, that's comedy.
432
00:20:00,501 --> 00:20:02,501
[***]
433
00:20:04,501 --> 00:20:05,734
It's that time again.
434
00:20:05,734 --> 00:20:07,234
To chew up airtime?
435
00:20:07,234 --> 00:20:08,734
To waste our lives?
436
00:20:08,734 --> 00:20:11,300
No, it's time to learn
the day's lesson.
437
00:20:11,300 --> 00:20:13,033
And to find out what it is,
438
00:20:13,033 --> 00:20:15,334
we turn
to the Wheel of Morality.
439
00:20:16,834 --> 00:20:18,834
Wheel of Morality,
turn, turn, turn.
440
00:20:18,834 --> 00:20:21,033
YAKKO:
Tell us the lesson
that weshould learn.
441
00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:22,434
Moral number six.
442
00:20:22,434 --> 00:20:25,167
And the moral
of today's story is:
443
00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:28,167
"Possums have pouches
like kangaroos."
444
00:20:29,434 --> 00:20:30,767
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
445
00:20:30,767 --> 00:20:32,267
ALL:
Yipe!
446
00:20:32,267 --> 00:20:34,267
[***]
447
00:20:37,701 --> 00:20:39,701
[***]
448
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:11,133
Spew.
30211
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