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NARRATOR:
And now Dot's Poetry Corner.
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00:00:10,467 --> 00:00:11,901
[CLEARS THROAT]
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00:00:11,901 --> 00:00:14,267
"Ode to Jack"
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00:00:14,267 --> 00:00:16,767
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
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00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,968
Jack jumped over
The candlestick
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00:00:18,968 --> 00:00:20,634
And burnt his butt
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00:00:20,634 --> 00:00:21,901
Thank you.
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00:00:21,901 --> 00:00:23,400
[PEOPLE
SNAPPING]
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00:00:26,634 --> 00:00:28,334
NARRATOR:
This has been another visit
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00:00:28,334 --> 00:00:30,133
to Dot's Poetry Corner.
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00:00:32,234 --> 00:00:33,501
[***]
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00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:36,601
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *
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00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:39,267
* And we're zany to the max *
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00:00:39,267 --> 00:00:41,000
* So just sit back and relax *
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00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,667
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *
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00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:45,067
* We're Animaniacs *
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00:00:45,067 --> 00:00:46,868
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *
18
00:00:46,868 --> 00:00:48,501
* And the Warner sister, Dot *
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00:00:48,501 --> 00:00:51,567
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *
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00:00:51,567 --> 00:00:54,200
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *
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00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:55,901
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *
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00:00:55,901 --> 00:00:57,100
* And now you know the plot *
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00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,634
* We're Animaniacs *
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00:00:59,634 --> 00:01:02,634
* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *
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00:01:02,634 --> 00:01:03,934
* Wakko packs away the snacks *
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00:01:03,934 --> 00:01:05,634
* While Bill Clinton
Plays the sax *
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00:01:05,634 --> 00:01:07,701
* We're Animaniacs *
28
00:01:08,834 --> 00:01:10,033
* Meet Pinky and the Brain *
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00:01:10,033 --> 00:01:11,534
* Who want to rule
The universe *
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* Goodfeathers flock together *
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00:01:12,901 --> 00:01:14,434
* Slappy whacks 'em
With her purse *
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00:01:14,434 --> 00:01:15,734
* Buttons chases Mindy *
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* While Rita sings a verse *
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* The writers flipped
We have no script *
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* Why bother to rehearse? *
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00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:22,934
* We're Animaniacs *
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00:01:22,934 --> 00:01:25,801
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *
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* We're zany to the max *
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* There's bologna
In our slacks *
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* We're Animan-y *
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* Totally insane-y *
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* The rain in Spain-y
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* Animaniacs *
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* Those are the facts *
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NARRATOR:
It's time for another
Good Idea, Bad Idea.
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Good idea:
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cleaning up litter.
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Bad idea:
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00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,667
cleaning up kitty litter.
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The end.
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00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,534
* Like Abbott and Costello
Like Sonny and Cher *
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00:02:09,534 --> 00:02:12,501
* Like Martin and Lewis
They're a perfect pair *
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00:02:12,501 --> 00:02:15,501
* Like Laurel and Hardy
Like Fontanne and Lunt *
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* They're perfectly mismatched
They're Rita and Runt *
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[CRACK]
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[***]
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[YELPS]
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00:02:44,567 --> 00:02:47,167
Sacre bleu.
Cheesy, mon dieu.
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00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,033
Put a little Blistex
on it, La Poot.
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00:02:50,033 --> 00:02:53,667
Ho-ho-ho. He'd pitch a fit
if he saw you in here.
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00:02:53,667 --> 00:02:55,067
But I don't care.
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I like company
for dinner.
Hoo.
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Here's a little
sausage for you.
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00:03:01,901 --> 00:03:05,434
Runt. You ever hear
the word "share"?
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00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:06,434
Oh, sure, Rita.
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She's a pretty lady
with tattoos.
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I won't even bother.
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00:03:26,434 --> 00:03:27,434
Hey.
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00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,501
Wah!
[GROWLING]
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Let go, you big mongrel.
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00:03:38,033 --> 00:03:39,434
Whoa!
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Be kind to animals,
everybody.
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00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:47,300
They're reincarnated
relatives.
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[SCREAMS]
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[GRUNTING]
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Runt. Gimme that.
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00:04:05,901 --> 00:04:07,067
[GRUNTING]
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00:04:10,534 --> 00:04:11,667
RITA:
So much for dinner.
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00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:13,300
Get up, lazy
loafer boy.
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00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:14,434
They are
getting away.
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00:04:19,367 --> 00:04:21,601
Alley cat.
Mongrel dog.
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00:04:21,601 --> 00:04:23,767
I am pitching a fit
all over you.
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You blew it, Runt.
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00:04:38,434 --> 00:04:41,701
We had a one-way meal ticket
to Feed-me-ville.
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00:04:41,701 --> 00:04:44,734
And you threw it all away
for a lousy game of chew-tug.
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00:04:50,734 --> 00:04:51,734
Uh-oh.
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00:04:51,734 --> 00:04:53,734
Definitely
"uh-oh."
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00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:03,234
[GASPS]
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00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:07,567
[ALL MEOWING]
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[BACK CRACKING]
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00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:19,834
Look. I had puppies.
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Puh!
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They're not puppies.
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00:05:27,934 --> 00:05:30,033
W-- what else
could I have?
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00:05:30,033 --> 00:05:31,934
My head hurts.
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00:05:31,934 --> 00:05:33,934
[KITTENS MEOWING]
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00:05:36,734 --> 00:05:38,234
[PURRING]
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00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:44,000
Poor little things.
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Abandoned, huh?
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Oh. Get used to it.
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00:05:48,267 --> 00:05:50,100
KITTENS:
Mama.
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* Milk, milk, milk, milk *
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* Milk, please, Mama
'Scuse our 'tude *
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00:05:55,734 --> 00:05:58,467
* But we're gonna faint
If we don't get food *
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00:05:58,467 --> 00:06:01,400
* Milk, please, Mama
Mama, please *
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00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,133
Yup. You're a mama
with a family, Rita.
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00:06:04,133 --> 00:06:06,734
Like Vicki Lawrence.
Definitely Vicki.
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00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,334
ALL:
Mama, Mama, Mama.
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00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:10,934
Or Meredith Baxter
Birney.
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00:06:10,934 --> 00:06:14,868
Definitely. Definitely
a mom like Meredith Baxter.
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00:06:14,868 --> 00:06:16,968
I'm nobody's mama.
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00:06:16,968 --> 00:06:18,767
Back off!
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Mama.
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You got the wrong cat.
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* I'm nobody's mama *
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* Got no family *
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* I'm a career cat *
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* And my career
Is all about me *
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* No one can tie me down
I'm going places *
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00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,601
* Straighten up *
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00:06:43,601 --> 00:06:45,934
* Don't make those silly
Sad faces *
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* It's rude *
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00:06:46,934 --> 00:06:47,968
KITTENS:
* Mew? *
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* All right, I'll get food *
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00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,267
But that's it.
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00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:54,267
After that,
you're on your own.
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00:06:54,267 --> 00:06:57,767
* I'm too independent *
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00:06:57,767 --> 00:07:00,234
* They're so small *
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00:07:00,234 --> 00:07:02,200
* How could I care for them? *
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00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,234
* Do I care at all? *
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00:07:05,234 --> 00:07:08,868
* I could never stand
"Help me, Mama. Feed me, Mama" *
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00:07:08,868 --> 00:07:11,367
* "Need me, Mama
Don't leave me, Mama" *
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00:07:11,367 --> 00:07:15,133
* I'd never tolerate that *
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00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:16,133
* On the other hand *
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00:07:16,133 --> 00:07:19,968
"Oh, my, Mama
I love you, Mama" *
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00:07:19,968 --> 00:07:23,067
* "I will never
Leave you, Mama" *
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* No *
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00:07:25,868 --> 00:07:28,701
* You've got the wrong cat *
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00:07:28,701 --> 00:07:31,100
* And did I mention *
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00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,901
* They'll want
Too much attention? *
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00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:36,868
* I'll worry about 'em each day
Every minute *
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00:07:36,868 --> 00:07:39,067
* I gotta tell you
My head isn't in it *
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00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:41,801
* I won't let my heart talk *
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00:07:41,801 --> 00:07:44,601
* 'Cause it's ruled
By my biological clock *
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00:07:44,601 --> 00:07:46,868
* Which is ticking away *
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00:07:46,868 --> 00:07:49,467
* No way *
147
00:07:49,467 --> 00:07:52,701
* I mean what I say *
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00:07:52,701 --> 00:07:56,701
* I'm a single cat stray *
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00:07:56,701 --> 00:08:01,934
* I'm nobody's mama *
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00:08:06,567 --> 00:08:10,534
That is that.
Au revoir, kitty cat.
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00:08:10,534 --> 00:08:12,501
Ehh!
152
00:08:12,501 --> 00:08:13,734
[GIGGLES]
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00:08:15,801 --> 00:08:17,801
[SNORING]
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00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:25,167
[GROWLING]
155
00:08:25,167 --> 00:08:26,300
Oh.
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00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:35,701
[ALL SNIFFING]
157
00:08:35,701 --> 00:08:37,868
[WHINING]
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00:08:37,868 --> 00:08:39,868
Eat it, or I'll drop
your sweet little tushies
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00:08:39,868 --> 00:08:40,968
in the pound.
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00:08:40,968 --> 00:08:41,968
Roseanne.
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00:08:41,968 --> 00:08:43,834
Definitely a mom
like Roseanne.
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00:08:43,834 --> 00:08:46,167
[KITTENS MEOWING]
163
00:08:46,167 --> 00:08:48,067
Oh, I love calicos.
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00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:50,200
Little rainbows.
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00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,701
Huh? Rita?
166
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:56,367
Psst.
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00:08:59,868 --> 00:09:01,634
What about
the puppies, Rita?
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00:09:01,634 --> 00:09:03,868
Now they're hers.
What?
169
00:09:03,868 --> 00:09:06,100
Oh. I see.
170
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:08,367
Where'd my friends go?
171
00:09:08,367 --> 00:09:09,901
Oh. I get it.
172
00:09:09,901 --> 00:09:10,901
They don't know you,
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00:09:10,901 --> 00:09:12,667
you don't know them.
174
00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:15,334
I'll take you to
a mama cat downtown
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00:09:15,334 --> 00:09:17,667
with oodles of milk.
176
00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:19,133
Ah, who am I kidding?
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00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:21,367
It's me.
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00:09:21,367 --> 00:09:23,367
[MEWING]
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00:09:24,701 --> 00:09:25,701
Bye, bye-bye.
180
00:09:25,701 --> 00:09:27,334
Bye.
181
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,534
[SADLY]
Bye.
182
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:29,968
[SOBBING]
183
00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:35,868
Bye.
184
00:09:39,467 --> 00:09:40,467
[SNIFF]
185
00:09:40,467 --> 00:09:42,167
It's, uh...
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00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:44,033
starting to rain.
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00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:54,434
You gotta admit it,
Rita,
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00:09:54,434 --> 00:09:56,067
those were
cute puppies.
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00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:57,834
I hate to break it
to you, Runt,
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00:09:57,834 --> 00:09:59,501
but they're cats.
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00:09:59,501 --> 00:10:01,067
RUNT:
Cats? Where?
192
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,934
Where are the cats?
Why, I'll chase 'em.
193
00:10:02,934 --> 00:10:05,234
I'll nip 'em. I'll munch 'em.
I'll tear 'em apart.
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00:10:05,234 --> 00:10:06,234
[GROWLING]
195
00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:09,567
Dogs.
196
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:10,901
[GROWLING]
197
00:10:16,567 --> 00:10:20,367
NARRATOR:
And now Dot's Poetry Corner.
198
00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:21,834
[CLEARS THROAT]
199
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:24,334
"This Little Piggy"
200
00:10:24,334 --> 00:10:26,167
This little piggy
Went to market
201
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,968
This little piggy stayed home
202
00:10:27,968 --> 00:10:30,334
This little piggy
Got her own prime-time sitcom
203
00:10:30,334 --> 00:10:31,634
And it really kills me
204
00:10:31,634 --> 00:10:33,534
'Cause I'm so much more
Talented than she is.
205
00:10:33,534 --> 00:10:35,334
Thank you.
206
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:38,467
NARRATOR:
This has been another visit
to Dot's Poetry Corner.
207
00:10:40,767 --> 00:10:42,067
And now the Warner brothers
208
00:10:42,067 --> 00:10:44,601
in a scene from
Shakespeare's Hamlet.
209
00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:47,434
Translated for those viewers
who, like Yakko,
210
00:10:47,434 --> 00:10:50,400
have no idea
what he's talking about.
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00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,868
[GIGGLES]
212
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:59,167
Alas, poor Yorick!
213
00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:01,400
Whoa, check out
skull head.
214
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,534
I knew him, Horatio,
a fellow of infinite jest,
215
00:11:04,534 --> 00:11:06,701
of most excellent fancy.
216
00:11:06,701 --> 00:11:08,000
He was funny.
217
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,400
He hath bore me on his back
a thousand times.
218
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,200
He gave me
piggyback rides.
219
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,734
And now how abhorred
in my imagination it is!
220
00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:19,067
My gorge rises at it.
221
00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:21,868
I'm going to
blow chunks.
222
00:11:21,868 --> 00:11:22,934
Gah!
223
00:11:30,534 --> 00:11:31,634
Here hung those lips
224
00:11:31,634 --> 00:11:34,801
that I have kissed
I know not how oft.
225
00:11:34,801 --> 00:11:37,334
We kissed
a lot. Not.
226
00:11:37,334 --> 00:11:38,968
Where be your gibes now?
227
00:11:38,968 --> 00:11:41,067
Your gambols, your songs,
228
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,501
your flashes of merriment
229
00:11:42,501 --> 00:11:45,367
that were wont to set
the table on a roar?
230
00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:47,534
How come you're
not funny now?
231
00:11:47,534 --> 00:11:49,534
Not one now to mock
your own grinning?
232
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,300
Quite chapfall'n?
233
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:53,267
No one's laughing now.
And, by the way,
234
00:11:53,267 --> 00:11:55,634
your lower jaw
is missing.
235
00:11:57,367 --> 00:11:58,901
[SCREAMS]
236
00:12:04,067 --> 00:12:06,067
Now get you to
my lady's chamber.
237
00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:08,434
And tell her,
let her paint an inch thick,
238
00:12:08,434 --> 00:12:10,434
to this favor she must come.
239
00:12:10,434 --> 00:12:12,133
Make her laugh at that.
240
00:12:12,133 --> 00:12:13,434
Follow that woman
and tell her
241
00:12:13,434 --> 00:12:15,767
no matter how much
makeup she wears,
242
00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:16,767
she's still gonna croak
243
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:18,167
and end up looking
just like you.
244
00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:19,701
And see if
she laughs.
245
00:12:19,701 --> 00:12:23,534
Prithee, Horatio,
tell me one thing.
246
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,167
What did you find
in the hole?
247
00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:27,601
Our next cartoon.
248
00:12:36,634 --> 00:12:38,634
[PIANO PLAYING]
249
00:13:39,834 --> 00:13:41,934
[CLAPPING]
250
00:13:41,934 --> 00:13:44,667
[WITH LIVERPOOL ACCENT]
I taught 'em everything I know.
251
00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:46,334
Huh?
252
00:13:46,334 --> 00:13:48,000
Hey.
253
00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:50,801
Come back.
254
00:14:08,467 --> 00:14:10,834
I lose more gloves
that way.
255
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:27,634
[APPLAUDING]
256
00:14:40,834 --> 00:14:42,467
[BIG BAND
MUSIC PLAYING]
257
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,434
[APPLAUSE]
258
00:16:13,734 --> 00:16:15,234
[SHIVERING]
259
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:34,567
[TRAIN WHISTLES]
260
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,300
[ROOSTER CROWS]
261
00:17:26,234 --> 00:17:28,734
[WHISTLE
BLOWING]
262
00:17:45,734 --> 00:17:47,367
[RIPPING]
263
00:18:34,701 --> 00:18:36,701
[PIANO PLAYING]
264
00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:01,067
Ah!
265
00:19:13,801 --> 00:19:16,400
Tomorrow I'll play
the xylophone...
266
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,267
with my butt.
267
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:25,901
NARRATOR:
It's time for another
Good Idea, Bad Idea.
268
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,734
Good idea:
269
00:19:30,067 --> 00:19:33,300
playing the accordion
at a polka festival.
270
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,767
Bad idea:
271
00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,834
playing the accordion
anywhere else.
272
00:19:40,834 --> 00:19:42,667
[ALL YELLING]
273
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:47,501
The end.
274
00:19:52,501 --> 00:19:53,667
It's that time
again.
275
00:19:53,667 --> 00:19:55,167
To pretend to throw up?
276
00:19:55,167 --> 00:19:56,167
To floss?
277
00:19:56,167 --> 00:19:57,767
No. It's time to learn
278
00:19:57,767 --> 00:19:58,767
the day's lesson.
279
00:19:58,767 --> 00:20:00,100
And to find out
what it is,
280
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:02,901
we turn to
the Wheel of Morality.
281
00:20:04,467 --> 00:20:06,267
Wheel of Morality,
turn, turn, turn.
282
00:20:06,267 --> 00:20:08,067
Tell us the lesson
that we should learn.
283
00:20:08,067 --> 00:20:10,000
Moral number five.
284
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,767
And the moral
of today's story is:
285
00:20:12,767 --> 00:20:14,834
Early to rise
And early to bed
286
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:16,934
Makes a man healthy
But socially dead
287
00:20:16,934 --> 00:20:19,367
Whoa. The mind boggles.
288
00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:21,200
I don't know about you,
but I'm touched.
289
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,200
In the head.
290
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,767
[WHISTLE
BLOWS]
291
00:20:23,767 --> 00:20:25,033
ALL:
Yikes!
292
00:20:32,467 --> 00:20:34,667
[***]
293
00:21:02,334 --> 00:21:04,667
I can't think of the ending
of this show.
294
00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:06,167
I can't think
of anything else.
18930
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