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[***]
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00:00:06,501 --> 00:00:10,400
NARRATOR:
And now, Dot's Poetry Corner.
3
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,868
[CLEARS THROAT]
4
00:00:11,868 --> 00:00:13,467
"The Shoe."
5
00:00:13,467 --> 00:00:15,767
There was an old woman
Who lived in a shoe
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00:00:15,767 --> 00:00:17,734
And, boy, did it stink in there
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Thank you.
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00:00:19,033 --> 00:00:21,033
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
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NARRATOR:
This has been another visit
to Dot's Poetry Corner.
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00:00:28,567 --> 00:00:30,167
[***]
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00:00:30,167 --> 00:00:33,868
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *
12
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:36,501
* And we're zany to the max *
13
00:00:36,501 --> 00:00:38,267
* So just sit back and relax *
14
00:00:38,267 --> 00:00:39,934
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *
15
00:00:39,934 --> 00:00:42,334
* We're Animaniacs *
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00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,133
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *
17
00:00:44,133 --> 00:00:45,767
* And the Warner sister, Dot *
18
00:00:45,767 --> 00:00:48,767
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *
19
00:00:48,767 --> 00:00:51,467
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *
20
00:00:51,467 --> 00:00:53,167
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *
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00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:54,367
* And now you know the plot *
22
00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:56,901
* We're Animaniacs *
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00:00:56,901 --> 00:00:59,868
* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *
24
00:00:59,868 --> 00:01:01,200
* Wakko packs away the snacks *
25
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,901
* While Bill Clinton
Plays the sax *
26
00:01:02,901 --> 00:01:04,968
* We're Animaniacs *
27
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,300
* Meet Pinky and the Brain *
28
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:08,801
* Who want to rule
The universe *
29
00:01:08,801 --> 00:01:10,167
* Goodfeathers flock together *
30
00:01:10,167 --> 00:01:11,701
* Slappy whacks 'em
With her purse *
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00:01:11,701 --> 00:01:13,000
* Buttons chases Mindy *
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* While Rita sings a verse *
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* The writers flipped
We have no script *
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00:01:16,267 --> 00:01:17,434
* Why bother to rehearse? *
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00:01:17,434 --> 00:01:20,200
* We're Animaniacs *
36
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,033
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *
37
00:01:23,033 --> 00:01:24,501
* We're zany to the max *
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00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,167
* There's bologna
In our slacks *
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00:01:26,167 --> 00:01:27,734
* We're Animan-y *
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* Totally insane-y *
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* Miss Cellany *
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00:01:30,634 --> 00:01:32,834
* Animaniacs *
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* Those are the facts *
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[***]
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00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:44,567
[***]
46
00:01:44,567 --> 00:01:46,133
It's time to play:
47
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AUDIENCE:
You Risk Your Life!
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00:01:52,067 --> 00:01:56,200
Now, everybody's favorite host,
Yakko.
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00:02:01,701 --> 00:02:03,701
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
50
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:09,100
[APPLAUSE]
51
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,467
Thank you.
52
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:16,934
Oh, Scratchansniff,
53
00:02:16,934 --> 00:02:19,267
why don't we bring out
our first two contestants.
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00:02:19,267 --> 00:02:23,434
Okay. She's a homemaker
from Madison, Wisconsin.
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00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:26,100
He is the world's
greatest philosopher.
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00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:31,234
Please welcome Mrs. Myra
Puntridge und Aristotle.
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[APPLAUSE]
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00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,901
Welcome to
You Risk Your Life.
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00:02:38,901 --> 00:02:40,300
Say the secret word and Wakko
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00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:41,901
will hit you on the head
with a mallet.
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00:02:41,901 --> 00:02:46,133
SCRATCHANSNIFF:
Today's secret word is "Yes."
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00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,734
Now, Myra, you're a homemaker,
is that right?
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00:02:48,734 --> 00:02:50,133
Oh, correct.
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00:02:50,133 --> 00:02:51,601
What kind of homes do you make?
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00:02:51,601 --> 00:02:53,601
[ALL LAUGHING]
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00:02:54,634 --> 00:02:56,100
[GIGGLES]
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00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:58,033
And, Aristotle, let's see here.
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00:02:58,033 --> 00:03:00,367
It says you are a philosopher,
is that correct?
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00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:01,367
Yes.
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00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:03,067
[DINGING]
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00:03:07,267 --> 00:03:09,567
Congratulations.
You said the secret word.
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00:03:11,601 --> 00:03:14,434
Well, are you both ready
to play You Risk Your Life?
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00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:15,434
Yes.
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00:03:15,434 --> 00:03:16,934
[DINGING]
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00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:23,200
You said the secret word again.
Congratulations.
76
00:03:25,234 --> 00:03:29,334
All right, you've chosen
the category "Vocabulary."
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00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,968
Here's your question.
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00:03:30,968 --> 00:03:34,300
"What word is
the opposite of no?"
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00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:36,067
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
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00:03:40,434 --> 00:03:42,000
Yes.
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00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,300
That's correct!
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00:03:49,834 --> 00:03:52,167
Good night, everybody.
See you tomorrow.
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00:03:52,167 --> 00:03:54,000
[APPLAUSE]
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00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,200
SCRATCHANSNIFF:
Mallet furnished by Bashem
and Wallop of Beverly Hills.
85
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,667
Good night.
86
00:04:01,267 --> 00:04:02,934
[***]
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00:04:02,934 --> 00:04:06,133
ALL:
* The crankiest of creatures
In the whole wide world *
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00:04:06,133 --> 00:04:09,667
* Our next cartoon
Features Slappy the squirrel *
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00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:13,434
Enough with the singing already.
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00:04:13,434 --> 00:04:15,367
* That's Slappy *
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00:04:18,534 --> 00:04:20,534
[***]
92
00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:26,667
[***]
93
00:04:36,534 --> 00:04:37,667
Aah...
94
00:04:37,667 --> 00:04:39,667
Diet soda. Heh.
95
00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:41,300
Gotta watch my figure.
96
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:43,968
Hey, somebody's gotta watch it.
97
00:04:43,968 --> 00:04:45,834
[CHUCKLES]
98
00:04:49,901 --> 00:04:52,200
Where you going,
Aunt Slappy?
99
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,734
To the store
to get some buttermilk.
100
00:04:54,734 --> 00:04:57,067
Spew!
101
00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:59,701
Hey, they make it,
somebody's gotta drink it.
102
00:05:12,467 --> 00:05:15,100
[***]
103
00:05:15,767 --> 00:05:16,934
Eww!
104
00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:24,334
Excuse me.
105
00:05:24,334 --> 00:05:26,167
You're excused.
106
00:05:26,167 --> 00:05:28,434
Um, would you mind?
107
00:05:28,434 --> 00:05:29,434
Probably.
108
00:05:29,434 --> 00:05:30,634
Look,
109
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,601
I ain't interested in Amway,
lady, all right?
110
00:05:32,601 --> 00:05:35,467
Would you mind
removing your can
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00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:37,334
from my trash
receptacle?
112
00:05:37,334 --> 00:05:39,267
Allen Funt is a dead man.
113
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,534
That is my trash can.
114
00:05:41,534 --> 00:05:44,601
I'm sure you must have
a trash can of your own.
115
00:05:44,601 --> 00:05:46,133
Let me get this straight.
116
00:05:46,133 --> 00:05:49,067
You want me to take my soda can
out of your trash can,
117
00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:51,300
walk all the way
back over to my tree,
118
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,501
and throw it
in my trash can?
119
00:05:53,501 --> 00:05:54,534
That's right.
120
00:05:54,534 --> 00:05:55,968
Do you have a problem with that?
121
00:05:55,968 --> 00:05:57,767
No, but now you do.
122
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,300
Thank you so much.
Buh-bye.
123
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,200
You're welcome so much.
Buh-bye.
124
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,033
If I were a better person,
125
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:10,033
I'd ignore her
and go on with my life.
126
00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:11,167
But I'm not.
127
00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:13,167
[CACKLES]
128
00:06:16,634 --> 00:06:17,901
[DOORBELL RINGS]
129
00:06:20,267 --> 00:06:21,601
Hey, miss lady.
130
00:06:21,601 --> 00:06:23,400
Would you like to buy
some cookies?
131
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,667
All the proceeds
132
00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:27,467
go to help squirrel scouts
to be more like you.
133
00:06:27,467 --> 00:06:30,634
Isn't that appropriate.
I'll take one box.
134
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,133
I love helping out
children less perfect than I.
135
00:06:43,834 --> 00:06:44,834
[GASPS]
136
00:06:44,834 --> 00:06:46,434
[GROWLS]
137
00:06:46,434 --> 00:06:48,534
[BOTH LAUGHING]
138
00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:49,868
Oof!
139
00:06:51,501 --> 00:06:53,601
Let the games begin.
140
00:06:53,601 --> 00:06:54,868
[***]
141
00:06:54,868 --> 00:06:56,367
[DOORBELL RINGS]
142
00:06:57,534 --> 00:07:00,901
Victoria Sifuentes,
attorney at law. My card.
143
00:07:00,901 --> 00:07:05,234
Ipso facto on this date-o
your late-us Uncle Festoon
144
00:07:05,234 --> 00:07:08,567
has passed on
and left you this.
145
00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:11,300
My, my.
Oh, why, thank you.
146
00:07:18,534 --> 00:07:20,501
I wonder what it could be.
147
00:07:20,501 --> 00:07:21,968
Aha!
148
00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:31,067
[BOTH LAUGHING]
149
00:07:33,834 --> 00:07:37,534
Skippy, in most cases,
revenge is not a good thing.
150
00:07:37,534 --> 00:07:38,701
Oof!
151
00:07:39,968 --> 00:07:42,434
In other cases,
it's the only thing.
152
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,400
[***]
153
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,334
"Dear Candie Chipmunk,
congratulations.
154
00:07:55,334 --> 00:07:56,868
"You have been chosen
to appear
155
00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:59,934
"on the new game show
entitled The New Game Show.
156
00:07:59,934 --> 00:08:02,434
Come to the studio right away."
157
00:08:02,434 --> 00:08:05,734
Imagine me on a game show.
What'll I wear?
158
00:08:07,267 --> 00:08:08,667
All right, Candie.
159
00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:09,901
You've already won
160
00:08:09,901 --> 00:08:12,534
a washer-dryer,
a wet bar, a Lexus,
161
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:16,567
the Love Boat, Cher's house,
and the planet Venus.
162
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:19,100
AUDIENCE:
Ooh. Aah.
163
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,133
Do you want
to keep your prizes,
164
00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:24,000
or trade them for something
possibly even bigger
165
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,534
behind Curtain Number 3?
166
00:08:28,767 --> 00:08:31,734
BOTH [IN UNISON]:
Hello, nurse.
167
00:08:31,734 --> 00:08:34,033
Boys, go fig.
168
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,801
I'll take...
169
00:08:37,801 --> 00:08:38,901
the curtain!
170
00:08:45,167 --> 00:08:47,167
[SIZZLING]
171
00:08:51,267 --> 00:08:52,767
She exploded.
172
00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:53,767
It's a toon thing.
173
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:54,767
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
174
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,267
Shoot me.
175
00:09:01,467 --> 00:09:04,133
Look at that.
She ain't recyclin'.
176
00:09:06,033 --> 00:09:07,834
[***]
177
00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:11,300
CANDIE:
* Hup, two, three, four
No can's getting in my door *
178
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:14,667
* Hup, two, three, four
No can's getting in my door *
179
00:09:14,667 --> 00:09:15,834
[DOORBELL RINGS]
180
00:09:17,701 --> 00:09:18,834
Hello.
181
00:09:18,834 --> 00:09:20,801
We're taking collections
for the homeless.
182
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:22,033
[CANDIE GROWLS]
183
00:09:22,033 --> 00:09:25,300
Prepare to eat it, Slappy.
184
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:26,601
[BOTH SCREAM]
185
00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:27,801
Oh, my goodness!
186
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:28,801
Oh, my goodness!
187
00:09:28,801 --> 00:09:30,701
Ha! Gotcha.
188
00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:38,300
She reminds me of a very young
Wilma Flintstone.
189
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,200
[***]
190
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,067
[KEYS CLICKING]
191
00:09:53,434 --> 00:09:55,434
[SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING]
192
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:02,434
Ho, ho, ho!
193
00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:04,634
Have I got something
for you.
194
00:10:05,701 --> 00:10:09,133
Mm, a present
from Santa Slappy?
195
00:10:09,133 --> 00:10:12,534
Let me guess.
Could it be a can?
196
00:10:12,534 --> 00:10:16,067
Being the jolly representation
of the holidays
197
00:10:16,067 --> 00:10:17,734
isn't what it used to be.
198
00:10:22,834 --> 00:10:24,834
[***]
199
00:10:28,534 --> 00:10:30,434
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
200
00:10:44,968 --> 00:10:47,667
I've been waiting
and waiting and waiting!
201
00:10:47,667 --> 00:10:50,801
I can't take it any longer!
Give it to me!
202
00:10:50,801 --> 00:10:53,868
Give it to me! Give it to me!
203
00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:59,267
What about the plot,
Hemingway?
204
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:01,767
What's an anvil got to do
with this story?
205
00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:04,667
Who cares? Anvils are funny.
206
00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:07,334
Kids, what the heck can you do?
207
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,100
Watch a pro, Skippy.
208
00:11:17,534 --> 00:11:21,267
Congratulations, lady.
You're a mother.
209
00:11:21,267 --> 00:11:22,367
Who knew?
210
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:26,901
[***]
211
00:11:28,501 --> 00:11:32,167
Oh, he looks
just like his father.
212
00:11:32,167 --> 00:11:37,000
Now, you and Mr. Dumpster
have a happy life. Buh-bye.
213
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,934
Burp for Mommy.
214
00:11:38,934 --> 00:11:41,267
Now for that buttermilk.
215
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,834
Spew!
216
00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:46,801
It could be worse.
It could be prune juice.
217
00:11:48,868 --> 00:11:50,167
[***]
218
00:11:53,033 --> 00:11:55,033
[***]
219
00:11:58,767 --> 00:12:01,334
PINKY:
Gee, Brain.
What do you wanna do tonight?
220
00:12:01,334 --> 00:12:03,901
The same thing we do
every night, Pinky.
221
00:12:03,901 --> 00:12:05,734
Try to take over the world.
222
00:12:05,734 --> 00:12:07,634
[***]
223
00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:11,300
ALL:
* They're Pinky and the Brain *
224
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:13,667
* Yes, Pinky and the Brain *
225
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:17,167
* One is a genius
The other's insane *
226
00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:19,567
* They're laboratory mice *
227
00:12:19,567 --> 00:12:21,067
* Their genes
Have been spliced *
228
00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:24,033
* They're dinky
They're Pinky and the Brain *
229
00:12:24,033 --> 00:12:26,400
* Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain *
230
00:12:31,868 --> 00:12:33,868
[***]
231
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,434
[***]
232
00:12:39,434 --> 00:12:41,267
[PINKY PANTING]
233
00:12:41,267 --> 00:12:43,000
Can I stop now, Brain?
234
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,400
Not until I finish
my demonstration.
235
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,601
When I build my reverse
geotropic arrester, Pinky,
236
00:12:49,601 --> 00:12:52,200
and throw it from
the North Pole like this:
237
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,200
[BRAIN GRUNTS]
238
00:12:55,534 --> 00:12:58,367
In a matter of seconds,
the cable will become taut,
239
00:12:58,367 --> 00:13:00,167
gravity will cease,
240
00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:02,434
and everyone will fly off
the face of the Earth--
241
00:13:02,434 --> 00:13:03,434
[SCREAMS]
242
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:04,601
[CRASH]
243
00:13:04,601 --> 00:13:07,901
--leaving us alone
to assume control.
244
00:13:09,033 --> 00:13:10,033
[GRUNTS]
245
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,300
Egad, Brain.
Brilliant.
246
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:16,701
[LAUGHS]
247
00:13:16,701 --> 00:13:18,167
Oh, wait. No, no.
248
00:13:18,167 --> 00:13:21,067
What's going to keep us
from flying off the Earth?
249
00:13:22,534 --> 00:13:25,567
BRAIN:
We will duct-tape ourselves
to a tree.
250
00:13:25,567 --> 00:13:28,033
Unfortunately,
we still need to raise money
251
00:13:28,033 --> 00:13:30,100
to buy a 1 billion-ton magnet.
252
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,501
But I have a solution.
253
00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:37,701
Tomorrow is the running
of the Kentucky Derby.
254
00:13:37,701 --> 00:13:39,467
Do you know what that is?
255
00:13:39,467 --> 00:13:40,834
Um...
256
00:13:40,834 --> 00:13:43,000
Oh, a very large hat?
257
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,000
Promise me something, Pinky.
258
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,033
Never breed.
259
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,400
I'll try.
260
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:51,567
The Kentucky Derby is the
biggest horserace of the year.
261
00:13:51,567 --> 00:13:53,400
There's a $1,000,000 purse
262
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,801
going to the jockey
riding the winning horse,
263
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:58,267
and I am going
to win that purse!
264
00:13:58,267 --> 00:14:00,667
Zort, Brain,
a million-dollar purse?
265
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:02,133
Oh, you're going to need
266
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,968
matching pumps
and earrings for that.
267
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:06,634
Focus, Pinky, focus.
268
00:14:06,634 --> 00:14:07,968
Now, watch.
269
00:14:08,968 --> 00:14:09,968
Voil�!
270
00:14:09,968 --> 00:14:12,834
[***]
271
00:14:12,834 --> 00:14:15,434
Narf!
Oh, Brain, I get it.
272
00:14:15,434 --> 00:14:17,534
You're a beautiful
lawn ornament.
273
00:14:17,534 --> 00:14:20,267
Look at me, narf.
I'm a pink flamingo.
274
00:14:20,267 --> 00:14:21,367
[GIGGLES]
275
00:14:21,367 --> 00:14:22,667
I'm a cement deer.
276
00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:23,767
[GIGGLES]
277
00:14:23,767 --> 00:14:26,567
Oh, I'm one of the seven dwarfs,
Brain.
278
00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:29,133
Stop it, Pinky,
or I shall have to hurt you.
279
00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:31,334
Oh, righto, Brain. Narf.
280
00:14:31,334 --> 00:14:33,167
Now, let us make haste,
281
00:14:33,167 --> 00:14:36,234
for we have much to do
before the race begins.
282
00:14:36,234 --> 00:14:37,400
PINKY:
Poit.
283
00:14:38,934 --> 00:14:41,467
BRAIN:
First, Pinky,
we must visit the stables.
284
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,868
Inside, we will find
the winning horse.
285
00:14:47,868 --> 00:14:50,634
PINKY:
Uh, how are we gonna do that,
Brain?
286
00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:53,300
BRAIN:
The Racing Form, Pinky.
287
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,501
By analyzing
the velocity-based pace line,
288
00:14:57,501 --> 00:15:00,200
mile turf win,
and Beyer Speed Figures,
289
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,834
we'll find
a Grade 1 stakes claimer
290
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:05,367
who'll give us
a key-horse situation.
291
00:15:05,367 --> 00:15:07,534
Uh, can't we just ride
the pretty one?
292
00:15:08,801 --> 00:15:09,868
[WHINNIES]
293
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,567
[LAUGHS]
294
00:15:11,567 --> 00:15:14,334
Heavens, they're multiplying.
295
00:15:14,334 --> 00:15:16,067
[GIGGLES]
296
00:15:20,133 --> 00:15:22,067
This is a business trip, Pinky.
297
00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:24,067
Oh, right. Sorry, Brain.
298
00:15:25,501 --> 00:15:26,834
Here is our horse.
299
00:15:26,834 --> 00:15:28,801
"Daddy's Little Angel."
300
00:15:30,467 --> 00:15:32,033
[SNORTS]
301
00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:33,234
[EXHALES]
302
00:15:33,234 --> 00:15:36,434
Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?
303
00:15:36,434 --> 00:15:37,934
Well, I think so,
Brain,
304
00:15:37,934 --> 00:15:39,968
but isn't Regis Philbin
already married?
305
00:15:40,634 --> 00:15:41,968
The race, Pinky.
306
00:15:41,968 --> 00:15:44,901
By combining the statistics
and my low body weight,
307
00:15:44,901 --> 00:15:46,901
this horse cannot lose.
308
00:15:46,901 --> 00:15:49,067
The prize money will be ours.
309
00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:53,234
Now, I must take the place
of the real jockey.
310
00:15:53,234 --> 00:15:55,234
[***]
311
00:15:57,234 --> 00:15:59,234
[PHONE RINGING]
312
00:16:01,634 --> 00:16:03,267
Hello?
313
00:16:03,267 --> 00:16:06,234
Is this the jockey who's going
to ride Daddy's Little Angel?
314
00:16:06,234 --> 00:16:07,434
Yeah.
315
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:11,033
This is Ed McMahon for
Publishers Smearing House.
316
00:16:11,033 --> 00:16:13,634
You've just won $10,000,000.
317
00:16:13,634 --> 00:16:15,334
I won $10,000,000.
318
00:16:15,334 --> 00:16:17,334
I won $10,000,000!
319
00:16:17,334 --> 00:16:19,567
I am outta here! Later!
320
00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:20,901
Louie! Louie!
321
00:16:20,901 --> 00:16:22,534
Later!
322
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,501
Who's gonna ride my horse?
323
00:16:26,501 --> 00:16:28,000
I mean, Louie is the smallest,
324
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,033
lightest jockey
in the entire world.
325
00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:32,100
BRAIN:
Not anymore.
326
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,400
[ALL GASP]
327
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,100
[***]
328
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:38,901
You're a jockey?
329
00:16:38,901 --> 00:16:41,367
Actually, I am a mouse
in the early stages
330
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:43,934
of an elaborate scheme
to take over the world.
331
00:16:43,934 --> 00:16:45,634
Well, fine.
We all need a hobby,
332
00:16:45,634 --> 00:16:48,133
but will you ride my horse?
333
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:51,634
I shall ride and win.
334
00:16:51,634 --> 00:16:53,467
Oh, thank you. Thank you!
335
00:16:53,467 --> 00:16:54,968
Let's weigh him in.
336
00:16:54,968 --> 00:16:56,534
Saddle, 7 pounds.
337
00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,267
Saddle and rider,
7 pounds, 3 ounces.
338
00:17:00,267 --> 00:17:03,434
A genetically perfect jockey.
This is fantastic.
339
00:17:03,434 --> 00:17:05,834
Let's look
into early retirement.
340
00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:08,100
[***]
341
00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:10,601
Here come the horses,
ladies and gentlemen,
342
00:17:10,601 --> 00:17:13,300
[OVER SPEAKER]
for the running
of the Kentucky Derby.
343
00:17:18,934 --> 00:17:21,534
* Camptown races
Five miles long *
344
00:17:21,534 --> 00:17:24,000
* Doo-da, doo-da *
345
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,901
[***]
346
00:17:27,934 --> 00:17:30,400
Oh, isn't this exciting,
Brain?
347
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,467
Pinky,
what are you doing here?
348
00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:35,200
Your weight will disrupt
my winning calculations.
349
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,167
But, Brain,
it's too exciting. I--
350
00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:40,000
Oh, hello.
351
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000
[GIGGLES]
352
00:17:41,667 --> 00:17:43,167
[SIGHS]
353
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,000
[BUGLING "CHARGE"]
354
00:17:51,701 --> 00:17:53,367
Pinky, the race
is starting.
355
00:17:53,367 --> 00:17:54,434
[GUNSHOT]
356
00:17:54,434 --> 00:17:55,868
ANNOUNCER:
And they're off!
357
00:17:55,868 --> 00:17:59,033
[***]
358
00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:00,467
Wow! Zort. Poit!
359
00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:02,367
[YELLS]
360
00:18:02,367 --> 00:18:06,567
* There's bologna
In our slacks *
361
00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:10,100
ANNOUNCER:
On the inside corner
it's Isle of Yap in the lead,
362
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,667
followed by Flameel and Leggo
My Egoiste on the inside rail.
363
00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:15,167
And coming up strong
on the outside
364
00:18:15,167 --> 00:18:16,734
is Daddy's Little Angel.
365
00:18:16,734 --> 00:18:20,234
And Phar Fignewton
trails far behind.
366
00:18:20,234 --> 00:18:22,334
On the backstretch,
coming into the final turn,
367
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:23,834
it's Isle of Yap, Flameel,
368
00:18:23,834 --> 00:18:25,834
and Daddy's Little Angel
is passing them all.
369
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:27,567
Yah! Yah!
370
00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:29,133
[***]
371
00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:30,133
[RUMBLING]
372
00:18:33,534 --> 00:18:35,501
[SCREAMS]
373
00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:37,501
Zort! Oof!
374
00:18:37,501 --> 00:18:40,434
ANNOUNCER:
And Daddy's Little Angel
takes the lead by two lengths,
375
00:18:40,434 --> 00:18:43,033
followed by Isle of Yap,
Flameel, Leggo My Egoiste,
376
00:18:43,033 --> 00:18:46,467
and way back there,
Phar Fignewton.
377
00:18:46,467 --> 00:18:49,000
* Victory, she waits for me *
378
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,267
* Oh, the doo-da day *
379
00:18:52,801 --> 00:18:53,934
Huh?
380
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,300
[SCREAMS]
381
00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,767
[***]
382
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:05,267
ANNOUNCER:
Phar Fignewton is coming up
like a rocket on the outside.
383
00:19:05,267 --> 00:19:08,467
It's Daddy's Little Angel
and Phar Fignewton.
384
00:19:08,467 --> 00:19:09,501
Oh, no.
385
00:19:09,501 --> 00:19:12,234
Yah! Yah! Yah!
386
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,000
[WHIMPERING]
387
00:19:17,801 --> 00:19:18,801
[YELPS]
388
00:19:20,334 --> 00:19:23,033
And at the wire,
it's Phar Fignewton.
389
00:19:23,033 --> 00:19:26,834
Phar Fignewton
wins it all!
390
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:31,501
In the words of the great
Willie Shoemaker, "Nuts!"
391
00:19:31,501 --> 00:19:33,501
[***]
392
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:40,934
[HAMMERING]
393
00:19:42,634 --> 00:19:44,767
Pinky, will you
please stop that?
394
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:47,501
I'm trying to concentrate
on tomorrow night.
395
00:19:47,501 --> 00:19:48,834
Mwah. Why, Brain?
396
00:19:48,834 --> 00:19:50,501
What are we gonna do
tomorrow night?
397
00:19:50,501 --> 00:19:51,767
Guess.
398
00:19:51,767 --> 00:19:54,501
Oh, yeah. Trying to take over
the world. Right.
399
00:19:54,501 --> 00:19:56,801
*They're dinky
They're Pinky and the Brain *
400
00:19:56,801 --> 00:19:58,734
* Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain *
401
00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:04,000
[***]
402
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,901
NARRATOR:
And now, Dot's Poetry Corner.
403
00:20:07,901 --> 00:20:09,334
[CLEARS THROAT]
404
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:11,400
"Fuzzy Wuzzy."
405
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,901
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
406
00:20:14,901 --> 00:20:16,701
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy
407
00:20:16,701 --> 00:20:18,667
So he changed his name
to Ed Asner
408
00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:20,133
Thank you.
409
00:20:20,133 --> 00:20:22,133
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
410
00:20:24,868 --> 00:20:28,667
NARRATOR:
This has been another visit
to Dot's Poetry Corner.
411
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,400
[***]
412
00:21:06,467 --> 00:21:07,868
Spew!
27375
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