Original subtitles

YAKKO WARNER. I WANT TO SHAVE YOU BALD

AND SPRAY-PAINT YOUR HEAD FOR...

SURE, YOU CAN GO ELSEWHERE,

BUT IT CAN COST YOU AS MUCH AS...

BUT HERE AT YAKKO...

WE'LL SHAVE YOU BALD AND SPRAY-PAINT YOUR HEAD FOR...

HAS YOUR HEAD LOST ITS LUSTER?

IS UNSIGHTLY HAIR COVERING THAT BEAUTIFUL CHROME-DOME?

COME TO YAKKO WARNER'S.

WE'LL USE OUR PATENTED BEEZER-CUT ELECTROLYSIS

AND LATEX-BASED POSTER PAINT

GUARANTEED TO RESTORE THAT SHOWROOM SHEEN.

WHY, YOUR FRIENDS WILL NEED SUNGLASSES

JUST TO LOOK AT YOUR GLEAMING CUEBALL.

WE'LL SHAVE YOU BALD.

YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITE COLOR--

PUCE, CORAL, MUSTARD BROWN, SALMON,

MINTY LIME, AND MY OWN PERSONAL FAVORITE, NEW LAVENDER.

FREE WASH AND HOT WAX AT NO EXTRA CHARGE.

AAAAHH!

WHAT'S THAT? DON'T WANT TO BE SHAVED BALD?

TRY OUR NEW CUSTOMIZED HAIR-PLUCKING.

WAKKO WARNER HIMSELF WILL GNAW EVERY HAIR OUT WITH HIS TEETH.

AS LONG AS YOU WIND UP BALD, WE'RE HAPPY.

OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY, SO CALL TODAY.

WE'LL SHAVE YOU BALD AND SPRAY-PAINT YOUR HEAD FOR JUST...

OH, HECK, WHO ARE WE KIDDING?

WE'LL DO IT FOR FREE!

SO, PLEASE, WE BEG YOU, COME ON DOWN!

AND REMEMBER, I'M NOT ONLY THE PRESIDENT

OF YAKKO WARNER'S WORLD OF BALDNESS...

I'M ALSO...

ANNOYING!

* IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS *

* AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX *

* YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS *

* AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT *

* JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND *

* THE WARNER MOVIE LOT

* THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER *

* WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT

* BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE *

* AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* DOT IS CUTE

* AND YAKKO YAKS

* WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS *

* WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN

* WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE *

* GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER *

* SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE *

* BUTTONS CHASES MINDY

* WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE

* THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT *

* WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE?

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS *

* WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS *

* WE'RE ANIMANEE *

* TOTALLY INSANE-Y

* PINKY AND THE BRAIN-Y

* ANIMANIACS

* THOSE ARE THE FACTS *

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

GEE, BRAIN, WHADDYA WANNA DO TONIGHT?

THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY.

TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

* THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN *

* YES, PINKY AND THE BRAIN

* ONE IS A GENIUS

* THE OTHER'S INSANE *

* THEY'RE LABORATORY MICE *

* THEIR GENES HAVE BEEN SPLICED *

* THEY'RE DINKY *

* THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN *

* BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN **

AH-CHOO!

JUST A FEW MORE STEPS,

AND I'LL HAVE THE CURE FOR THE COMMON COLD.

AH-CHOO!

[PINKY GIGGLES]

OH, THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT, BRAIN.

QUIET, PINKY.

AH-CHOO!

THIS SHOULD DO IT.

AH...

AH...

IT WORKED!

I CURED THE COMMON COLD!

NOW, PINKY.

AH-CHOO!

AH-CHOO!

AH-CHOO!

THEN AGAIN...MAYBE NOT.

AH-CHOO!

WELL, BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD.

AH-CHOO!

AH-CHOO!

AH-CHOO!

SUCCESS, PINKY.

EGAD, BRAIN, WHAT IS THIS STUFF?

A NEW STRAIN OF POLLEN I CREATED MYSELF, PINKY.

IT CAUSES A TEMPORARY BUT UNCONTROLLABLE FIT

OF ALLERGIC SNEEZING.

NO HUMAN IS IMMUNE.

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT WE'LL DO WITH THIS POLLEN?

UM...OPEN A BOUTIQUE?

YES, WE'LL OPEN A BOUTIQUE

AND SELL LADIES' CLOTHING AND POLLEN.

EGAD, BRAIN, WHAT FUN!

I LIKE THIS IDEA, I DO!

FOCUS, PINKY, FOCUS!

WE SHALL GO TO FORT KNOX, KENTUCKY,

KEEPER OF THE NATION'S GOLD SUPPLY,

WE WILL EXPOSE THE GUARDS TO OUR POLLEN.

AND WHILE THEY'RE SNEEZING UNCONTROLLABLY,

WE'LL MOVE INTO THE VAULT

AND TAKE THE GOLD!

FOR HE WHO CONTROLS THIS NATION'S CAPITAL

CONTROLS THE NATION.

OFF TO FORT KNOX.

OH, WAIT, BUT ISN'T THE NATION'S CAPITOL IN WASHINGTON, D.C.?

CAPITAL AS IN MONEY, PINKY. COME ON!

HOW ARE WE GONNA GET TO FORT KNOX, BRAIN?

WE'LL SIMPLY BORROW

ONE OF THE LAB'S TECHNOLOGICAL RESOURCES.

THE MINIVAN.

WON'T WE GET IN TROUBLE, BRAIN?

GET IN TROUBLE?

PINKY, WE'RE TAKING OVER THE WORLD.

BESIDES, WE'LL HAVE THE VAN BACK BY 8 A.M.

OH, ALL RIGHT THEN.

OY! NICE THREADS, BRAIN,

BUT, UH, WHY THE DISGUISE?

IF WE ARE TO SUCCEED, PINKY,

I MUST PASS FOR AN AVERAGE, NONDESCRIPT MOTORIST.

SO WHILE WE'RE DRIVING,

CALL ME MR. PERKINS.

SAY NO MORE.

BRILLIANT, BRAIN.

MR. PERKINS!

OOH, RIGHT, RIGHT. NARF!

MR. PERKINS.

PINKY...

START YOUR ENGINE.

NOW DEPRESS THE BRAKE.

YES.

NOW I'LL SHIFT THE TRANSMISSION INTO GEAR,

AND YOU GIVE IT THE GAS.

HUNH!

NOW, PINKY,

LET US,

IN THE VERNACULAR,

TAKE THIS HOG OUT AND SEE WHO'S BOSS!

PINKY, PREPARE TO PASS A SLOW-MOVING VEHICLE.

RIGHTY-O, BRAIN.

CALL ME MR. PERKINS!

ACTIVATE LEFT-TURN INDICATOR NOW!

LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN, PINKY.

NARF! WRONG SWITCH.

EXEMPLARY WORK, PINKY.

BUT WE'RE SLOWING DOWN.

QUICKLY! STEP ON THE GAS.

GAS. CHECK.

MAINTAIN PEDAL PRESSURE, PINKY.

WE'RE HALFWAY AROUND THE FREIGHT VEHICLE.

YEAH, BREAKER, BREAKER, 1-9.

THIS HERE'S BIG RED.

WHAT'S YOUR HANDLE, GOOD BUDDY? OVER.

THE NAME'S PERKINS. MR. PERKINS.

JUST AN AVERAGE, NONDESCRIPT MOTORIST.

I GOTTA QUIT EATING THEM DOUBLE-ONION CHILI DOGS.

[BELCH]

[SNORING]

HUH? OHH.

PINKY, I'M IN NEED OF SOME MUSIC

TO KEEP MYSELF RAPTLY ALERT.

USE THE CRUISE CONTROL,

SO WE DON'T LOSE SPEED.

CRUISE CONTROL ON, BR...

UH, UM, MR. PERKINS.

[YAWN] STELLAR, PINKY.

NOW SEE IF YOU CAN LOCATE

A LOCAL RADIO STATION FREQUENCY.

NARF! WRONG KNOB.

[LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

TURN OFF THE RADIO, PINKY.

HEY, THIS KNOB'S LOOSE.

WHAAAAA!

HOO-HOO, HA HA!

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

THE LIGHTER WORKS.

THE RADIO, PINKY.

OOH, RIGHT. I ALMOST FORGOT.

[CLICK]

WHEW!

SUDDENLY I FEEL DOWNRIGHT FEVERISH,I DO.

WHOO-WAAAAH!

WHOO-HOO-HOO! OOH, NARF! EEE! ZORT! OW!

NO NEED TO ENTERTAIN ME PERSONALLY.

I'M QUITE AWAKE NOW.

KENTUCKY, PINKY.

WE MADE IT!

ALL RIGHT, BRAIN!

MR. PERKINS.

FORT KNOX IS MERE MILES AWAY.

NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW.

[SIREN]

GOOD EVENING, OFFICER.

WAS I EXCEEDING THE SPEED LIMIT?

BY 100 MILES AN HOUR.

I'M SORRY.

YOU SEE, I'M MR. PERKINS, AN AVERAGE, NONDESCRIPT--

YOUR LICENSE AND REGISTRATION, PLEASE.

WE DON'T HAVE ANY. ZORT!

IF YOU MUST KNOW,

WE'RE TWO LAB MICE OUT TO CONTROL THE WORLD

BY SEIZING ITS GOLD.

WHEN WE ASSUME POWER, REST ASSURED OUR BUDGET

WILL RESULT IN SUBSTANTIAL NEW FUNDING FOR LAW ENFORCEMENT.

OH.

WELL, YOU B-BEST BE ON YOUR WAY THEN.

THANK YOU, OFFICER.

OH, MAN, I DO MISS THEM WITLESS TEENAGE SPEED DEMONS.

IT'S TIME TO MAKE OUR MOVE, PINKY.

NOW, PINKY.

AH-AH...

AH-CHOO!

AH-CHOO!

AH-CHOO! AH-CHOO!

AH-CHOO! AH-CHOO!

AH-CHOO! AH-CHOO!

AH-CHOO!

AH-CHOO!

AH-CHOO! AH-CHOO!

EGAD, THIS IS EVEN BETTER

THAN A DUCK TALES EPISODE, BRAIN.

PINKY, ARE YOU PONDERING

WHAT I'M PONDERING?

I THINK SO, BRAIN,

BUT BALANCING FAMILY AND A CAREER?

IT'S ALL TOO MUCH FOR ME.

THE GOLD, PINKY.

IT'S ALL OURS.

LET'S MOVE IT OUT.

1...

2...

3...

AND LIFT.

HUNNNH... HUNNNH...

UYYY! UYYY!

AAARGHH! AAARGHH!

I BELIEVE MY PLAN HAS A FATAL FLAW.

I'M IN INTENSE PAIN, PINKY.

DITTO, BRAIN.

ZORT!

FEAR NOT, PINKY.

GOLD'S UNWIELDY ATOMIC WEIGHT

WILL NOT THWART US TOMORROW.

WHAT ARE WE DOING TOMORROW, BRAIN?

THE SAME AS ALWAYS, PINKY--

TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

* THEY'RE DINKY *

* THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN *

* BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN **

IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER...

STOPPING TO SMELL THE ROSES.

STOPPING TO FEEL THE ROSES.

[SNORING]

[YAWNING]

[DINGING]

[DINGING]

[GULPING]

[SPLAT]

[HORN HONKING]

[MOTORCYCLE PUTTING]

[CRASHING]

[CHIRPING]

[YAWNING]

[CHIRPING]

[SNIFFING]

[HISSING]

[WHIRLING]

[SQUEAKING]

[CRYING]

[SMOOCHING]

[SLAPPING]

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN.

TO PUT CUCUMBERS IN OUR EARS?

TO MAKE FUN OF THE DISNEY CHANNEL?

NO. IT'S TIME TO LEARN THE DAYS LESSON.

AND TO FIND OUT WHAT IT IS...

WE TURN TO THE WHEEL OF MORALITY.

WHEEL OF MORALITY, TURN, TURN, TURN.

TELL US THE LESSON WE SHOULD LEARN.

MORAL NUMBER FIVE.

AND THE MORAL OF TODAY'S STORY IS...

IF YOU CAN'T SAY SOMETHING NICE

YOU ARE PROBABLY AT THE ICESCAPADES.

THAT IS SO, TRUE.

[BELCHING]

EXCUSE, ME.

[WHISTLE BLOWING]

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1993 WARNER BROS. ANIMATION, A DIVISION OF TIME-WARNER ENTERTAINMENT OC., L.P.

ZORT!

PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE