Original subtitles

* IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS *

* AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX *

* YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* COME JOIN THE WARNER BROS. *

* AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT *

* JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND *

* THE WARNER MOVIE LOT

* THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER *

* WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT

* BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE *

* AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* DOT IS CUTE

* AND YAKKO YAKS

* WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS *

* WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN

* WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE *

* GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER *

* SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE *

* BUTTONS CHASES MINDY

* WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE

* THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT *

* WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE?

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS *

* WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS *

* WE'RE ANIMANEE *

* TOTALLY INSANE-Y

* HERE'S THE SHOW'S NAMEY *

* ANIMANIACS

* THOSE ARE THE FACTS *

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

* THE HILLS ARE QUITE FULL *

* OF BIG ROCKS AND BOULDERS *

* WITH IGNEOUS ROCK

* SEDIMENTARY, TOO

* THE HILLS ARE QUITE FULL *

* OF BIG ROCKS AND BOULDERS **

HELLO, NURSE!

NICE SINGING!

HEY, WANT TO WATCH ME PRETEND TO THROW UP?

[GAGGING]

UH, HAVE YOU SEEN

ANY THREE LITTLE KIDS AROUND HERE ANYWHERES?

THEY WENT THAT WAY.

OH, THANKS.

HEY, BY THE WAY, I REALLY LIKES YOUR SINGINGS.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

TAKE THE WORD ANIMAL,

TRANSPOSE THE LETTERS "N" AND "M," AND IT'S AMINAL.

IN A NUTSHELL, THAT'S COMEDY.

WHO ARE YOU?

WE'RE THE WARNER BROS.

AND THE WARNER SISTER.

KIDS, LOOK. LET'S NOT WASTE TIME.

I'M A BUSY MAN.

I GOT A MOVIE TO DIRECT

AND COMEDY TO PLAN AND PLOT.

I'M A COMEDY GENIUS.

LOUIE'S A GENIUS, TOO.

GIVE HIM YOUR MUSIC.

MUSIC?

FOR THE AUDITION,

YOU SWEET WEIRD-LOOKING KID.

YOU WANT TO AUDITION OR TALK ALL DAY?

GIVEN THE OPTIONS, WE'LL AUDITION.

WAKKO, THE MUSIC, PLEASE.

* THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL ARE WE *

* PERT AS A SCHOOLGIRL WELL CAN BE *

* FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH GIRLISH GLEE *

* THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL *

* EVERYTHING IS A SOURCE OF FUN *

* NOBODY'S SAFE 'CAUSE WE CARE FOR NONE *

* LIFE IS A JOKE THAT HAS JUST BEGUN *

* THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL **

I'M BOWLED OVER. THAT IS GOOD STUFF.

YOU KIDS GOT IT. YOU GOT THAT SOMETHING,

THAT SPECIAL ZINGY THING THAT COMES FROM HERE.

THAT'S A SPAGHETTI STAIN.

YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?

THAT'S CLEVER. YOU'RE WAKKO.

NO, THIS IS WAKKO.

YOU'RE FUNNY.

NO. I'M YAKKO, AND THAT'S DOT.

HAVEN'T WE MET BEFORE?

OH, I LOVE THESE KIDS. THEY'RE SO FUNNY.

NICE KIDS THAT LOOK LIKE PUPPIES. FLAMEEL!

WHERE YOU NUTTY FUNSTERS GOING?

JAN MURRAY'S HOUSE?

YOU'RE GONNA BE IN MY MOVIE.

MOVIE?

WHO WERE YOU LOOKING AT?

THE PEOPLE WATCHING ON TV.

PEOPLES? WHAT PEOPLES?

HELLO, NICE PEOPLE IN THE TV!

I DON'T SEE ANY.

WHERE'D YOU GO? THERE YOU ARE.

NICE KIDS, WE'RE WITH A MOVIE, GONNA DO A THING!

AAAAH!

DUH, WHERE ARE THEY?

O.K., MR. PENZOIL HEAD, WE'RE CONVINCED.

WE'LL DO YOUR MOVIE.

OH, YOU'LL DO-- THE MOV--YOU'LL DO THE--

HAPPY--I AM-- SO MUCH. OYL!

BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID.

HERE'S THE FIRST SCENE.

A LADY'S GOING TO WANT SHOES THAT ARE TOO SMALL.

SO?

SO THAT'S FUNNY, MY LITTLE KID WITH THE CHEEKS.

LET'S DO IT. MORTY, ROLL IT.

ACTION!

HELLO, LARGE NURSE!

I SHOULD LIKE TO SEE SOME SHOES, PLEASE.

WHAT A BIG FEET YOU HAVE.

WAKKO, GET HER A SIZE 16.

NO. I WANT A SIZE 6.

HEH HEH HEH. COURTESY LAUGH.

WAKKO, GET THIS WOMAN A SIZE 6.

CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT!

SWEETHEARTS, WHAT'S WITH THE SHOE STRETCHING?

THAT'S FUNNY HO HO. I WANT FUNNY HA HA.

YEAH, BUT--

PLEASE DON'T SPEAK. I'M DIRECTING.

I'VE BEEN DOING COMEDY FOR YEARS.

THE KEY IS THE PROPENSITY OF THE KNOWN

AGAINST THE BACKDROP OF UNIVERSAL TRUTHS.

HERE'S HOW I'D DO THAT SCENE. GO SIT.

NICE LADY! A SIZE 6 IS TOO SMALL FOR YOUR FAT FOOT.

DON'T WITH THE HITTING! I'LL MAKE IT SHOULD FIT!

[BABBLING]

SEE? NOW, THAT'S FUNNY.

YOU KIDS DO IT LIKE THAT.

MORTY, ROLL IT.

ACTION!

OH, LADY! OH, LADY!

OH, LADY! OH, LADY!

OH, LADY! OH, LADY!

NICE LADY!

OH, LADY! OH, LADY! OH, LADY!

AAAAH!

NICE LADY!

CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT!

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

YOU KIDS ARE TERRIBLE.

WE HAVE A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION.

IF YOU CAN DO IT BETTER, THEN YOU DIRECT.

O.K.!

SWEETHEART, IN THIS SCENE,

WE DON'T WANT FUNNY HA HA, WE WANT FUNNY UH-OH.

WHAT'S FUNNY UH-OH?

UH-OH?

ALL RIGHT, IN THIS SCENE...

OY! TOO LOUD. MAKE WITH A WHISPER.

DON'T WITH THE LOUD MAKER TALK.

SWEETHEART, WE'RE GOING TO DO THE TRAGIC ENDING

TO THE MOVIE OLD SCREAMER,

ABOUT A BOY'S LOVE FOR HIS SICK, OLD DOG.

I'M THE BOY?

NO. YOU'RE THE DOG.

AND...ACTION!

OH! OH! OLD SCREAMER, YOU'RE SO VERY SICK.

BARK. WOOF. BARK. FROYNLAVEN.

OH, MY CHILD WAKKO BOY.

IT'S BEST THAT WE PUT OLD SCREAMER OUT OF HIS MISERY.

NO, BARK. WOOF. NO!

BUT, MA, HOW WILL I EVER LIVE WITHOUT OLD SCREAMER?

YEAH, BARK!

BECAUSE I BOUGHT YOU THIS NEW CUDDLY PUPPY.

[ARF ARF]

OH, A CUTE LITTLE PUPPY.

GOODBYE, OLD SCREAMER.

OW...BARK. HURT.

I SHOULD GO HOME.

PLEASE DON'T SPEAK. I'M DIRECTING.

WHOA. NO MORE WITH THE THING OF LOUD.

NOW, IN THIS NEXT SCENE,

YOU'RE THE FAMOUS ARCHEOLOGIST ILLINOIS SMITH.

YOU'RE ABOUT TO GRAB THE ANCIENT BOWL OF SURPRISE.

AND...ACTION!

HURRY, ILLY. THE MONSTER'S COMING.

MONSTER?

WITH TEETH AND PAWS?

GRRRR!

GRRRR!

OH, MONSTER!

PROTECT ME, ILLY!

I'M FRIGHTENED!

YOU'RE FRIGHTENED? I HAVE TO POTTY!

ILLY, USE YOUR WHIP!

I THINK IT'S A NOT-WORKING WHIP!

HOYL!

GRRRR.

HOYL!

CUT, CUT, CUT.

THE ROCKS FALL DOWN, GO BOOM.

THAT WAS GOOD, BUT...AHHHH, I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN.

MORE AGAIN? TO DO OVER WITH THE HURTING?

I HAVE TO GO. I GOT TO LEAVE.

SHOULDN'T--YES-- TO GO. MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T WORK TOGETHER.

YOU'RE GOOD, BUT NOT FOR ME TO WORK.

LEAVE I SHOULD. BYE, I GO.

ARE YOU SURE?

YEAH. GOING IS GOOD. STAYING IS BAD.

BYE.

[CRASHING]

THAT MAN IS A GENIUS.

* THE JUNGLE WAS NICE BUT WAY BEHIND THE TIMES *

* FOR TWO ENDANGERED HIPPOS WITH HIP AND TRENDY MINDS *

* SO THEY FLEW THEIR RANCH ROOVER *

* TO THE CITY'S NEON GLOW *

* FAVIO AND MARITA, THE HIP HIPPOS **

SIR?

I'M HUNGRY. I MUST MEAL.

APPLE ME.

HMM. UM. MM-MMM.

GRAPE ME.

BANANA ME.

CAN'T YOU CLEAN WITHOUT BEING SEEN?

MUM?

YOU ARE SKINNY, VERY SKINNY,

AND IT IS CONFUSING TO MY PULSE RATE.

WHOOAAA!

OOH! AAAH!

MUM, SIR...

I QUIT!

* FLAVIO, FLAVIO, FLAVIO *

* MARITA, MARITA, MARITA

* AAH

* WHAT SHALL WE DO?

* WHAT WILL BECOME OF US TWO? *

* THE HELP IS GONE

* THE MAID IS THROUGH

* WHAT WILL BECOME OF US TWO? *

UH-OH. NOW WHO'LL CLEAN OUR CAGES?

* I'M CALLING UP THE AGENCY *

* TO FIND A NEW HOUSEKEEPER *

* SHE'S CALLING UP THE AGENCY *

* TO FIND A NEW HOUSEKEEPER *

* A CHAMBERMAID, A GOURMET CHEF *

* A TRENDY CARPET SWEEPER *

* A CHAMBERMAID, A GOURMET CHEF *

* A TRENDY CARPET SWEEPER *

WHY ARE YOU REPEATING EVERYTHING I AM SINGING?

* WHY AM I REPEATING EVERYTHING THAT YOU-- *

I DO NOT KNOW.

[MAN ON TELEPHONE HUMMING]

* HELLO, HELLO, MARITA HIPPO HERE *

* I'M HAVING AN EMERGENCY *

* MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH URGENCY *

* WE NEED TO HIRE A SERVANT, SEE! *

* WE NEED A NEW HOUSEKEEPER *

[MAN HUMMING]

BUT--BUT...

OH...VERY WELL.

MARITA, MY POOR WILTING LILY. WHAT IS THE MATTER?

THEY CANNOT SEND US A NEW MAID UNTIL...

MONDAY MORNING.

MONDAY MORNING?

* WHAT SHALL WE DO?

* WHAT WILL BECOME OF US TWO? *

HAVE NO FEAR, MARITA DEAR. I HAVE A PLAN.

PRAY TELL, FLAVIO!

* I'LL DO THE WINDOWS *

* AND PUSH THE VACUUM

* POLISH THE PARLOR

* SCRUB OUT THE BATHROOM

OH, THIS IS HARD.

* I WILL NOT WORRY, I WILL NOT FEAR *

* I'LL DO LAUNDRY UNTIL HELP IS HERE *

* FOLD THE TOWELS AND STARCH THE SHIRTS *

* AND I'LL DO LAUNDRY UNTIL IT HURTS *

�AY!

THIS IS REALLY NOT SO AMUSING.

* DINNER IS EASY, SIMPLE LIKE A DREAM *

* CLEANING THE CHICKEN

* SCRUBBING THE BEANS

* ADD-A TWO TABLESPOONS INTO A POT *

* STIR-FRY UNTIL HOT

PERHAPS NEXT TIME, WE TAKE OUT CHINESE.

[GONG]

* POOR LITTLE HIPPOS, HUSBAND AND WIFE *

* THEY HAVEN'T A CLUE, THEY HAVEN'T A LIFE *

* A TRAGIC CONCLUSION, SEE HOW THEY CRY *

* POOR HIPPOPOTAMI

* WHAT WILL WE DO?

* WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME AND YOU? *

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

I FORGOT MY FEATHER DUSTER.

* WE REALIZE WE'VE BEEN WRONG *

* WE'VE TREATED YOU UNFAIR *

* HOW CAN WE MAKE IT UP *

* AND SHOW YOU HOW WE CARE? *

* COME CLEAN FOR US, COME CLEAN FOR US *

* COME BACK AND CLEAN FOR US *

* WE'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU ASK *

* JUST SAY YOU'LL CLEAN FOR US *

OH, ALL RIGHT.

* SHE'LL CLEAN FOR US, SHE'LL CLEAN FOR US *

* SHE SAID SHE REALLY WILL

* A HAPPY ENDING, EVERYONE

* SHE SAID SHE'LL CLEAN *

* FOR US *

THERE'S A TWIST--

AN OPERA WITH A HAPPY ENDING.

* THE CRANKIEST OF CREATURES *

* IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD

* OUR NEXT CARTOON FEATURES SLAPPY THE SQUIRREL *

AH, ENOUGH WITH THE SINGING ALREADY.

* THAT'S SLAPPY **

* IT'S THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA *

* THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA *

* GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO *

* HAS A PRETTY LITTLE FLOWER BED OF WHITE GARDENIAS *

* GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO *

* BUT PARKED IN A RICKETY OLD GARAGE *

* THERE'S A BRAND-NEW SHINY RED SUPERSTOCKED DODGE *

* AND EVERYBODY'S SAYIN' THAT THERE'S NOBODY MEANER *

* THAN THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA *

* SHE DRIVES REAL FAST

* AND SHE DRIVES REAL HARD *

* SHE'S THE TERROR OF COLORADO BOULEVARD *

* IT'S THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA *

* IF YOU SEE HER ON THE STREET *

* DON'T TRY TO CHASE HER *

* GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO *

* YOU MIGHT DRIVE A GOER

* BUT YOU'LL NEVER LOSE HER *

* GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO *

* SHE'S GONNA GET A TICKET NOW *

* SOONER OR LATER

* 'CAUSE SHE CAN'T KEEP HER FOOT *

* OFF THE ACCELERATOR

[VROOM VROOM]

* AND EVERYBODY'S SAYIN' THAT THERE'S NOBODY MEANER *

* THAN THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA *

* SHE DRIVES REAL FAST

* AND SHE DRIVES REAL HARD *

* SHE'S THE TERROR OF COLORADO BOULEVARD *

* IT'S THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA *

* GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO *

* GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO *

* THE GUYS COME TO RACE HER FROM MILES AROUND *

* BUT SHE'LL GIVE 'EM A LENGTH *

* THEN SHE'LL SHUT 'EM DOWN *

* AND EVERYBODY'S SAYIN' THAT THERE'S NOBODY MEANER *

* THAN THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA *

* SHE DRIVES REAL FAST

* AND SHE DRIVES REAL HARD *

* SHE'S THE TERROR OF COLORADO BOULEVARD *

* IT'S THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA *

* GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO *

* GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO *

* GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO *

AND I NEVER TOOK A LESSON IN MY LIFE.

[SIRENS]

* GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO... **

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1993 WARNER BROS. ANIMATION, A DIVISION OF TIME-WARNER CO., L.P.

FLAMEEL!

PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE