Original subtitles

* IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS *

* AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX *

* YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS *

* AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT *

* JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND *

* THE WARNER MOVIE LOT *

* THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER *

* WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT *

* BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE *

* AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* DOT IS CUTE *

* AND YAKKO YAKS *

* WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS *

* WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN *

* WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE *

* GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER *

* SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE *

* BUTTONS CHASES MINDY *

* WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE *

* THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT *

* WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE? *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS *

* WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS *

* WE'RE ANIMANEE *

* TOTALLY INSANE-Y *

* CITIZEN KANE-Y *

* ANIMANIACS *

* THOSE ARE THE FACTS **

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

[POPPING]

700 BIG ONES.

HEE HEE HEE HEE.

HEE HEE HEE.

EXCUSE ME.

HI, NEIGHBOR. WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?

WHAT IS THIS?

WELL, THIS, UH, THING--

IT'S A--A GRIBBLE REFINER.

VERY VALUABLE. ONE OF A KIND.

WHAT'S A GRIBBLE REFINER?

WHAT'S A--YOU REFINE GRIBBLE WITH IT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY IT. MAKE YOUR OWN.

ENOUGH GRIBBLE FOR EVERYONE.

WOW! I'LL TAKE IT.

GOOD MAN.

THAT'S $19.95 PLUS TAX, LICENSE,

DESTINATION FEE,

SHIPPING AND HANDLING--

WHOOPS! I FORGOT RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT.

NICE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU.

BYE-BYE!

EXCUSE ME.

WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?

I BOUGHT THIS FROM YOUR GARAGE SALE.

WHEN I GOT IT HOME, IT FELL APART.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.

OH, NO. IT'S BROKEN,

AND I'D LIKE MY MONEY BACK.

TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO. LET'S COMPROMISE.

NO REFUNDS!

THAT WAS RUDE.

"GARAGE SALE."

MUST BE THIS WAY.

HELLO, LADY IN THE TREE.

WHAT A CHARMING LAD.

WELL, SIBS, THERE IT IS.

THE GARAGE SALE.

THAT'S THE BEST GARAGE I'VE EVER SEEN.

IT'S WONDERFUL.

WOW! ARE WE REALLY GOING TO BUY IT, YAKKO?

IT'S A GARAGE SALE, ISN'T IT? COME ON.

22 FEET LONG.

10 FEET TALL.

IT'S THE PERFECT SIZE, YAKKO.

LOOK. IT FITS RIGHT ON TOP OF THE TOWER.

HEY, THE OWNER'S COMING.

REMEMBER, SIBS,

DON'T LET HIM KNOW WE'RE INTERESTED,

OR WE WON'T GET A GOOD DEAL.

[WHISTLING ANIMANIACS THEME]

WHAT ARE YOU KIDS DOING?

NAH. IT'S NOT WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR.

IT'S--IT'S ALL WRONG.

YOU'D HAVE TO PAY US TO TAKE IT AWAY.

BUT WE COULD SEE OUR WAY CLEAR

TO PAY...UM, WHAT'S FAIR, 26 CENTS?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WE'RE NOT HERE TO HAGGLE.

26 CENTS IS OUR FINAL OFFER.

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

TAKE IT. OH, TAKE IT. PLEASE.

OR NOT.

I DON'T CARE.

YOU KIDS ARE CRAZY.

GET OFF OF MY PROPERTY.

27 CENTS. THAT'S OUR FINAL OFFER FOR THIS GARAGE.

YOU'LL HAVE TO SELL

YOUR DON KNOTTS VIDEOS.

BOO HOO.

THE GARAGE IS NOT FOR SALE.

OOH! CAN I PRESS THE BUTTON?

NO!

OH, PLEASE? PLEASE?

NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

DON'T WORRY, MISTER. I'LL FIX IT LIKE NEW.

GIVE ME THAT BACK.

I'LL FIX IT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

HOW ABOUT IT? 27 CENTS?

MY GARAGE ISN'T FOR SALE.

IT'S WORTH AT LEAST $20,000.

FINE. LET'S MEET IN THE MIDDLE.

28 CENTS.

WHY, YOU LITTLE...

GET OUT OF HERE!

NOT UNTIL YOU SELL US THE GARAGE.

FABOO!

ALMOST GOT IT FIXED.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO, YAKKO?

I DON'T THINK HE WANTS TO SELL.

WE'LL HAVE TO TRY A DIFFERENT APPROACH.

THAT'LL BE ENOUGH OF THAT.

EVERY BOY NEEDS A HOBBY.

IT'S BROKEN. I WANT MY MONEY BACK.

NICE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU.

MAY I HELP YOU?

WARNER'S THE NAME. AUCTIONS ARE MY GAME.

THIS IS A NICE GARAGE. I CAN GET TOP DOLLAR.

WHAT?

WE'LL AUCTION IT OFF TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER.

OOH! YOU'LL BE RICH.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

I DON'T THINK--

GOOD MAN.

I'LL START THE BIDDING AT 25 CENTS.

25 CENTS.

25. DO I HEAR 26?

26 CENTS.

26. DO I HEAR 27?

27 CENTS.

27 CENTS.

27 CENTS GOING ONCE, TWICE...

SOLD!

HOO! YOU'RE A LUCKY MAN.

YOU!

WHO?

GET OUT OF HERE!

THAT'S HIM, OFFICER.

THESE PEOPLE TELL ME YOU WON'T GIVE REFUNDS.

BUT, OFFICER, I'VE GIVEN ALL MY PROFITS TO CHARITY.

I HAVE NO MONEY.

[LAUGHING]

GET THE MONEY!

PLFFTT!

[SOBBING]

I'M PENNILESS,

BROKE, NOTHING!

SAY, HOW'D YOU LIKE TO MAKE 26 CENTS?

OUR VERY OWN GARAGE.

GUESS WHAT?

TOMORROW SOME GUY'S HAVING A YARD SALE.

LET'S READ OUR FORTUNES.

THE HOTEL OF YOUR MIND HAS MANY VACANCIES.

YOU ARE CUTE AND CAN'T HELP IT.

WHAT'S YOURS SAY, WAKKO?

I DIDN'T GET A FORTUNE.

WHAT'D YOU GET?

SOMETHING BETTER.

THE NEXT CARTOON.

[SNAP]

[SNAP]

[SNAP]

[SQUIT] AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER,

I ALWAYS WANTED TO FALL IN LOVE,

BUT WE WERE ALWAYS TOO BUSY

FIGHTING TO PROTECT OUR TERRITORY

FROM THE SPARROWS,

ESPECIALLY THE STATUE OF MARTIN SCORSESE.

NO BIRD COULD PERCH ON SCORSESE'S HEAD

UNLESS HE WAS A GOODFEATHER,

AND AS LONG AS THE SPARROWS

KEPT TRYING TO TAKE THE STATUE,

LOVE WOULD HAVE TO WAIT.

BEAT IT! BEAT IT!

THE STATUE IS ALL YOURS FOR NOW, PIGEONS.

ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN.

[SNAP SNAP]

[MEOW]

KRUPKITTY!

[MEOW]

[GRRR]

GO EAT THE SPARROWS, YOU CREEP!

THEM SPARROWS DON'T GIVE US NO RESPECT, BOBBY.

BOTTA BANG. NO RESPECT.

YOU'RE SAYING IT.

WHAT AM I SAYING?

YOU'RE SAYING WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

I'M SAYING AT THE BIRD DANCE,

WE ASK THE SPARROWS TO RUMBLE.

I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT.

I WANT TO DANCE, FALL IN LOVE.

SQUIT, YOU'RE A CHICKEN.

[BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK]

ARE YOU CLUCKING AT ME?

ARE YOU CLUCKING AT ME?

NO, I'M CLUCKING AT SQUIT.

HE WANTS TO FALL IN LOVE.

NOT TONIGHT, SQUIT. TONIGHT WE RUMBLE.

BEAT IT!

* HERE COME THE GOODFEATHERS *

* COOING AT YOU *

* THAT NO SPARROW CAN PERCH *

* ON SCORSESE'S STATUE *

* ON OUR EVERLOVIN' *

* BEAKIN', BUGGIN' *

* STATUE *

* GOODFEATHERS **

OW! OW!

OH! LET ME OUT OF HERE!

[PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC]

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU BACK.

SOME DAY, I WANT YOU TO MIGRATE WITH ME.

O.K.

HEY, STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER, SQUIT.

CHICKIEBUTT, TAKE CARLOOTA HOME.

CARLOOTA.

OH.

[COOING]

NOODLES, YOU WANT TO RUMBLE?

YEAH. WE WILL RUMBLE WITH YOU.

THEN WE RUMBLE.

UNDER THE STATUE AROUND 10:15.

NO WEAPONS. CAPISCE?

WHAT WEAPONS?

AY, YO, HUH?

NO WEAPONS.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

NO WEAPONS.

HEY, WE RUMBLE. GET THE WEAPONS.

HELLO DOWN THERE, SQUIT.

CARLOOTA, MEET ME AT THE SCORSESE STATUE

AROUND 10:43.

WHY WAIT? WE'LL MIGRATE TONIGHT.

O.K.

OH, CARLOOTA.

* CARLOOTA *

* I JUST MET A BIRD NAMED CARLOOTA *

* AND PLEASE DON'T THINK ME RUDE *

* BUT I THINK I'D LIKE TO BROOD *

* WITH CARLOOTA *

* CARLOOTA *

* CARLOOTA *

* CARLOOTA **

I GOT TO CUT DOWN ON ME COLORATURA.

CAN'T WAIT TO INTRODUCE THEM PIGEONS

TO MY MEGA-BEAK.

WHY DO YOU FIGHT ALL THE TIME?

'CAUSE THOSE PIGEONS THINK THEY GOT IT ALL.

THEY DO GOT THE STATUE.

WHEN WE TAKE THE STATUE,

WE'LL RULE THE ROOST.

WE WANT TO STAY ON THE ROOFTOP.

WE DON'T.

* WE'D LIKE TO PERCH ON SCORSESE'S HEAD *

* WHY CAN'T WE PERCH ON SCORSESE'S HEAD? *

* GOODFEATHERS PERCH ON SCORSESE'S HEAD *

* SPARROWS SHOULD PERCH ON SCORSESE'S HEAD *

* ON THE ROOFTOP WE GET LOTS OF SUNSHINE *

* WE DON'T WANT TO PERCH ON A CLOTHESLINE *

* UP HERE WE HAVE A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW *

* HUMANS DROP FOOD BY THE STATUE *

* WE'D LIKE TO PERCH ON SCORSESE'S HEAD *

* WHY CAN'T WE PERCH ON SCORSESE'S HEAD? *

* GOODFEATHERS PERCH ON SCORSESE'S HEAD *

* WE WANT TO PERCH ON SCORSESE'S HEAD **

[CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP]

AI! AI! AI!

LOOK AT MR. WHAT-A-DIFFERENCE A-DAY-MAKES.

SPIFFING UP FOR THE RUMBLE, SQUIT?

NO. I HAVE A DATE WITH CARLOOTA.

THERE'S NO BIRD IN THE CITY LIKE CARLOOTA.

AROUND HER...

* I FEEL FEATHERY *

* OH, SO FEATHERY *

* ALL MY PLUMAGE IS STANDING UP TALL *

* I'M NO PEACOCK *

* BUT IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME AT ALL *

* WHO'S THAT HANDSOME SQUAB IN THE MIRROR THERE? *

* WHAT SQUAB? WHERE? WHO? *

* WHO CAN THAT ATTRACTIVE BIRD BE? *

* WHICH ONE? WHERE? WHO? *

* CHIRP QUACK *

* CAW CLUCK *

* IT'S ME *

* I FEEL FEATHERY *

* OH, SO FEATHERY *

* LIKE A FLEDGLING *

* A SOFT, DOWNY DOVE *

* OH, THIS PIGEON *

* HANDSOME PIGEON'S ALL PUFFED UP WITH LOVE **

[COO COO]

[COO]

[CHIRP CHIRP]

AAH!

OH, MAN! OH, MAN!

HE'S WEARING THE ACME MEGA-BEAK OVER HERE.

COME OUT, COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE.

SQUIT BEAKED NOODLES.

[ROWRR]

IT'S KRUPKITTY!

FLY FOR YOUR LIVES!

* NO, NO *

* KRUPKITTY, NO **

THAT'S IT.

I'M STICKING TO A CRESCENDO-FREE DIET OF MUTE MICE.

GODPIGEON.

WHAT? I DON'T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE.

UH, CAR. CARLOOTA?

BEAKED?

CARLOOTA GOT BEAKED?

IT WAS CHICKIEBUTT, WASN'T IT?

HE THINKS I BEAKED NOODLES,

AND HE BEAKED THE ONE I LOVE FOR REVENGE.

[MUMBLING]

SQUIT?

CARLOOTA.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEAKED.

SILLY PIGEON.

COME, LET US MIGRATE AND--

[SPARROWS CHIRP]

HUH?

JOHNNY!

MY JOHNNY FLEW THE COOP THREE DAYS AGO,

BUT HE'S BACK.

SORRY, SQUIT.

IT WOULDN'T HAVE WORKED OUT ANYWAYS

'CAUSE YOU'RE A PIGEON,

BUT WE HAD A FEW COOS TOGETHER, HUH?

COME. I HAVE FOUND LUXURIOUS NESTING GROUNDS

IN CLEVELAND.

CARLOOTA DUMPED ME.

SHE AND THE SPARROWS FLEW TO CLEVELAND.

FORGET ABOUT IT, SQUIT.

YOU'RE A GOODFEATHER, SEE?

* AND THERE'S A PERCH FOR YOU *

* ON DIS STATUE FOR YOU *

* FORGET THE CHICK 'CAUSE SHE DONE YOU WRONG *

* SCORSESE'S HEAD IS WHERE YOU BELONG *

* COO COO *

* COO COO *

* COO COO **

AAH!

THERE'S A STATUE OF COPPOLA DOWN THE STREET.

WHEN YOU'RE A GOODFEATHER,

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,

YOU STAY A GOODFEATHER.

WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE,

YOU MIGHT NOT STAY THERE.

LOVE? NOT FOR ME.

NO, THANKS.

THEN AGAIN...

[WOLF WHISTLE]

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

GOOD-BYE, NURSE!

CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1993 WARNER BROS. ANIMATION,

A DIVISION OF TIME-WARNER ENTERTAINMENT CO., L.P.

PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE