Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

* IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS *

* AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX *

* YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS *

* AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT *

* JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND *

* THE WARNER MOVIE LOT

* THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT *

* BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE *

* AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* DOT IS CUTE

* AND YAKKO YAKS

* WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS *

* WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN

* WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE *

* GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER *

* SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE *

* BUTTON CHASES MINDY

* WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE

* THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT *

* WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE?

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* WE HAD PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS *

* WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS *

* WE'RE ANIMANEE *

* TOTALLY INSANE-Y

* HERE'S THE SHOW'S NAMEY *

* ANIMANIACS

* THOSE ARE THE FACTS *

HERE AMONG THE DRAMATIC TIBURRANAM MOUNTAINS

IN THE HENKLE RIVER VALLEY

LIES THE TINY KINGDOM OF ANVILANIA,

THE WORLD'S LARGEST PRODUCER AND EXPORTER OF ONE THING...ANVILS.

ON THIS VERY DAY, THE CITIZENS OF ANVILANIA

ARE AWAITING THE ARRIVAL OF THE HEIR TO THE THRONE,

THE MAN WHO'S BEEN CHOSEN AS THE NEW KING.

THE KING APPROACHES!

THE KING APPROACHES!

THE KING APPROACHES!

I HEARD.

UH, EXCUSE ME, PRIME MINISTER.

* THE KING *

* GOOD FOLK OF ANVILANIA

* WE WELCOME OUR NEW KING *

* SO RAISE YOUR HAMMERS HIGH *

* AND LET THE ANVILS RING *

* WE LET THE ANVILS RING *

* TO WELCOME OUR NEW KING *

* THE KING *

[TIRES SCREECH]

HELLO, MY NAME'S YAKKO.

I'LL BE YOUR KING THIS EVENING.

IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, JUST ASK.

MAY I PRESENT MYSELF? I AM THE PRIME MINISTER.

HELLO, PRIME MINISTER NURSE!

BOYS, DO THEY GET BETTER WHEN THEY GET OLDER?

[FANFARE]

WE WELCOME YOU WITH THE NATIONAL ANTHEM OF ANVILANIA,

AS SUNG BY ONE OF OUR NATIONAL TREASURES, MR. PERRY COMA.

* ANVILANIA

[SNORE]

* ANVILANIA

[YAWN]

* ANVILANIA *

[SNORING]

THAT'S THE NATIONAL ANTHEM?

IT'S NOT SO BAD.

AAH!

GOOD ANVILANIANS,

I PRESENT THE HEIR TO THE THRONE...

* LET US INTRODUCE OURSELVES *

* TO PEOPLE OF THIS LAND

* WE ARE THE WARNER BROTHERS *

* WITH SISTER CLOSE AT HAND *

* I BET YOU ALL ARE WONDERING *

* WHO IS THIS YOUNG UNKNOWN *

* AND WHY AM I INHERITING THE ANVILANIAN THRONE *

* YES, WHY? * YES, WHY?

* YES, WHY? * YES, WHY?

* OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, TELL US WHY *

* THE BOTTOM OF THE FAMILY TREE *

* STARTS WITH YAKKO, THAT IS ME *

* I'M THE COUSIN TO THE SISTER *

* OF THE SON'S NIECE'S BROTHER *

* OF THE UNCLE'S DAUGHTER'S FATHER *

* OF THE NEPHEW'S SISTER'S MOTHER *

* AND MY GRANDPA'S ONLY COUSIN *

* WAS THE KING'S DAUGHTER'S SIBLING *

* BUT THEY'RE ALL GONE *

* SO THAT IS WHY

* I AM NOW YOUR KING

* HE IS NOW OUR KING

* YES, I AM NOW YOUR KING *

* REPEAT WHAT I JUST SAID *

* REPEAT WHAT I JUST SAID *

* AND LET THE ANVILS RING *

* OLD KING YAKKO'S MANIA *

* WAS FOR ANVILANIA

* SO GOOD CITIZENS, I PLEDGE TO YOU *

* I'LL DO THE BEST THAT I CAN DO *

* FOR HONOR, COUNTRY, AND THE KING *

* LET THE ANVIL'S RING *

* LET THE ANVIL'S RING *

* LET THE ANVIL'S RING *

* LET THE ANVIL'S RING *

COME, YOUR MAJESTY, IT IS TIME FOR YOUR CORONATION.

I CROWN THEE, YAKKO, KING OF ANVILANIA,

HOLDER OF THE SCEPTER, WEARER OF THE MEDALS,

AND DEFENDER OF THE ANVILS.

HAVE ANYTHING IN A ZANDERBELT WITH A SKOSH MORE ROOM?

AND, NOW, THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.

NOT AGAIN! NOT AGAIN!

* ANVILANIA

* ANVILANIA

* ANVILANIA *

[POP]

HUH? HUH?

KING YAKKO, YOUR THRONE.

HOW DO YOU LIFT THE LID?

SINCE WHEN DO YOU LIFT THE LID?

YOUR HIGHNESS! YOUR HIGHNESS!

MY HIGHNESS? DID I SIT IN SOMETHING?

MAY I INTRODUCE THE COURT JESTER?

I WANT TO TELL YOU, THIS ANVIL WAS SO BIG...

HOW BIG WAS IT?

I DON'T KNOW.

I CAN'T SEE THE CUE CARD.

NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO GREET THE PEOPLE WITH YOUR ADDRESS.

DRESSES WOULD BE DOT'S DEPARTMENT.

I'M INTRODUCING A NEW FALL LINE.

POLKA DOT?

IF YOU INSIST.

[POLKA MUSIC PLAYS]

I MEANT FOR THE KING TO GIVE HIS ADDRESS TO THE PEOPLE.

HOORAY! HOORAY!

[WHISTLING]

CITIZENS OF ANVILANIA, I STAND BEFORE YOU

BECAUSE IF I WAS BEHIND YOU, YOU COULDN'T SEE ME.

THANK YOU, AND NOW FOR MY ADDRESS...

KING YAKKO, CARE OF THE CASTLE, ANVILANIA 90210.

I PROMISE NOT TO ABUSE MY TOTAL, UNYIELDING,

SUPREME, AND ABSOLUTE POWER OVER YOU,

BUT I MUST ASK YOU ONE THING--

CAN YOU DO THIS... BLAAOO-BLAAOO-BLAAOO!

BLAAOO-BLAAOO-BLAAOO!

OH, VERY GOOD. HOW ABOUT THIS...

WAAHOO-WAAHOO!

WAAHOO-WAAHOO!

MY PEOPLE.

NOW, HERE'S AN OLD FAVORITE... NEEE-EEEH!

NEEE-EEEH!

GOOD! NOW, HOW ABOUT THIS... BRUUUH!

BRUUUH!

VERY NICE! O.K., NOW THIS...

WEEH-YO-WHOA!

WEEH-YO-WHOA!

SO, THE NEW KING OF ANVILANIA IS A CHILD,

A KID, A PUSHOVER.

A KID, A PUSHOVER.

ANVILANIA HAS ALWAYS MADE A FORTUNE OFF THOSE ANVILS,

BUT SOON THAT FORTUNE WILL BE MINE, DO YOU HEAR?

I HEAR, BUT HOW WILL YOU TAKE OVER THE COUNTRY?

I WILL GO THERE AND DEMAND THEY SURRENDER.

THE KING IS A CHILD. HE WILL CRUMBLE BEFORE ME.

IT WILL BE LIKE TAKING ANVILS FROM A BABY.

HA HA HA HA HA!

GET THE CAMERA OUT OF MY MOUTH.

* IN DEAR OLD ANVILANIA

* EVERYONE'S OUR FRIEND *

* WE WANT TO MEET YOU ALL *

* AND SHAKE YOU BY THE HEND **

HEND! HEND! IT RHYMES!

DICTATOR OF DUNLIKUS, UMLATT.

THE CLOWN IS HERE! OH, BOY!

YAY!

ARE YOU HERE TO ENTERTAIN US, MR. CLOWN?

WHERE ARE YOUR MAGIC TRICKS?

I WANT A BALLOON THAT LOOKS LIKE A WOODCHUCK.

PLEASE, GET OFF ME. I AM THE DICTATOR!

O.K., DIC, OR IS IT MR. TATOR?

I KNOW! LET'S PLAY MUSICAL CHAIRS!

* YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN WE'RE GONNA STOP *

* WE MIGHT GO ON FOREVER *

* YOU COULD GET SICK WAITING FOR US *

* OR WE COULD STOP *

DARN! A TIE!

I KNOW! WE'LL HAVE A TIEBREAKER.

PIN THE TAIL ON MR. TATOR!

STOP, YOU OBNOXIOUS CREATURES!

I AM NOT MR. TATOR. I'M NOT THE ENTERTAINMENT!

THAT'S YOUR ENTERTAINMENT...

HEY, TAKE MY ANVIL...

PLEASE.

IF YOU'RE NOT THE ENTERTAINMENT,

YOU SHOULDN'T BE WEARING A COSTUME.

LET'S HELP HIM OUT.

POLKA DOT?

AGAIN? OH, ALL RIGHT.

[POLKA MUSIC PLAYS]

NO, NO! THIS IS THE UNIFORM OF A GREAT MAN.

HE KNOW YOU'RE WEARING IT?

I AM UMLATT OF DULIKIS.

I'M HERE TO DEMAND YOU SURRENDER ANVILANIA TO ME.

I GIVE YOU 24 HOURS TO VACATE.

VACATION ALREADY? IT'S MY FIRST DAY ON THE JOB!

I DEMAND YOUR SURRENDER!

I WILL NOT SURRENDER. YOU SURRENDER.

ME, SURRENDER?

I ACCEPT. HAND OVER THE CASTLE KEYS.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. I'LL GO TO WAR FIRST.

THEN GO AHEAD. AND DON'T COME BACK

UNTIL YOU'VE LEARNED SOME MANNERS, YOUNG MAN.

VERY WELL, YOU SILLY CHILD.

THIS MEANS WAR!

I THOUGHT THAT MEANT TOUCHDOWN.

YAY!

PUSH 'EM BACK.

SHOVE 'EM BACK. WAY BACK!

I'LL SEE YOU ON THE BATTLEFIELD!

WAIT! YOU FORGOT TO GET YOUR PARKING VALIDATED!

[CASTLE DOOR CLOSES]

OH, POOH. A WAR.

* AND SO I STAND CORRECTED *

* NOT EVERYONE'S OUR FRIEND *

* THAT DICTATOR

* HE WANTS A WAR

* SO OUR COUNTRY WE'LL DEFEND *

* THIS MEANS WAR

* THIS MEANS WAR

* THIS MEANS WAR

* OF COURSE YOU KNOW THIS MEANS WAR *

* YES *

HURRY, YOUR MAJESTY. THESE ARE DESPERATE TIMES.

YOU MUST MEET THE CABINET.

HELLO.

I'M YAKKO. NICE TO MEET YOU.

SIRE?

WAIT TILL WE'RE ALONE.

GENTLEMEN, PLEASE BE SEATED.

AH-AH-AH-AH. I DIDN'T SAY SIMON SAYS.

SIMON SAYS PLEASE BE SEATED.

SO, WHAT'S THE PLAN?

OUR ARMY HASN'T BEEN TO WAR IN 200 YEARS.

THEY SHOULD BE WELL-RESTED.

WE MUST PREPARE THE TROOPS.

FIRST WE MUST GET NEW WEAPONS.

NO, FIRST WE MUST HAVE A NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM.

HIT IT.

* OH, THE ANVILS SHINE

* IN MY OLD ANVILANIAN HOME **

THANK YOU. PLEASE BE SEATED.

A-HA. VERY GOOD.

SIMON SAYS PLEASE BE SEATED.

YOUR MAJESTY, IF I MAY...

I WISH YOU WOULD.

IF WE POSITION OUR ARMY ON THE NORTHERN BORDER,

AND A BATTALION OF TANKS ON THE LEFT FLANK,

WE'LL FORCE THE ATTACKERS INTO THIS NARROW VALLEY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

SORRY, I DOZED OFF THERE FOR A SECOND.

I ASKED WHAT YOU THINK.

I THINK WE SHOULD CHOOSE TEAMS AND PLAY SHUFFLEBOARD.

I'LL TAKE YOU, YOU...AND YOU,

IF YOU'LL HAVE ME.

BUT YOUR HIGHNESS--

IT'LL BE YOUR HIGHNESS IF YOU DEFY ME.

WE MUST PREPARE.

VERY WELL. DOT, WAKKO...

AS KING OF ANVILANIA,

I APPOINT YOU GENERAL OF THE ARMED FORCES.

PREPARE THE TROOPS.

YOU'RE APPOINTED MINSTER OF GIRLIE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THAT COVERS A LOT.

I KNOW! WE NEED UNIFORMS!

HOW ABOUT THESE?

POLKA DOT? POLKA DOT?

NOT AGAIN. OHH.

NOW, ON WITH THE PLAN.

THE MEETING IS ADJOURNED. YOU'RE ALL DISMISSED.

AH-AH. SIMON DIDN'T SAY.

I THINK THIS UNIFORM NEEDS SOMETHING--

SOMETHING THAT SAYS I'M HERE TO DESTROY YOU,

BUT WITH A SENSE OF FUN.

I GOT IT! WEAR YOUR UNDERWEAR OUTSIDE YOUR PANTS.

HEY, IT WORKED FOR MADONNA.

YOU'RE ABOUT TO HEAD INTO WAR.

I WON'T LIE. SOME OF YOU MAY NOT RETURN,

AND THE REST OF YOU DEFINITELY WON'T.

ALTHOUGH WAR IS A CRUEL AND BRUTAL AFFAIR,

IT IS ALSO DANGEROUS AND STUPID.

YOU MAY GET SQUASHED LIKE A BUG

OR CRUNCHED LIKE SHREDDED WHEAT INTO DUST

OR RIPPED APART.

AAH! AAH! AAH!

MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE LIED A LITTLE.

WE'LL GO TO WAR OURSELVES.

HOW HARD COULD IT BE?

THIS HARD.

OOH.

WE'LL NEED A FEW COMMERCIALS TO FIGURE THIS OUT.

HEY, I NEED THAT!

YOU THINK THIS PLAN WILL WORK?

IT BETTER. WE DON'T HAVE ANY MORE COMMERCIALS.

NO SIGN OF THE ANVILANIAN ARMY OR DICTATORSHIP.

WHAT?

THERE'S NO SIGN OF THE ANVILANIANS!

THANK YOU.

[ROLLING]

WAIT. WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S A PRESENT FOR THE DICTATOR.

IT'S A PRESENT FOR YOU.

WHAT?

A PRESENT FOR YOU!

THANK YOU. BRING IT IN.

HIT IT!

* ANVILANIAAA

* ANVILANIAAA

* ANVILLAAAAAAAA

* AAANIAAAA *

IT'S THEIR SECRET WEAPON.

[YAWN]

WHAT?

[SNORING]

AHHH.

IT WORKED. COME, MY SIBLINGS,

WE MUST CAPTURE THE FLAG.

NOW THAT YOU'VE WON THE WAR,

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

I'M GOING TO DIS--

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

WHY AREN'T YOU ASLEEP?

WHAT?

ENOUGH WITH THE WHAT JOKES.

WE WIN. WAR'S OVER.

GO HOME. YOU HAVE NO ARMY. NO HARD FEELINGS.

HA! I DON'T NEED AN ARMY NOW

BECAUSE I'VE GOT YOU.

AND ONCE YOU'RE GONE,

I'LL HAVE YOUR COUNTRY AS WELL.

WAIT. YOU'RE FORGETTING SOMETHING.

WHAT?

BEING AN EVIL VILLAIN,

YOU ARE CONTRACTUALLY REQUIRED

TO EXPLAIN YOUR PLAN BEFORE DISPOSING OF US.

OH, RIGHT.

AFTER I'VE DISPOSED OF YOU,

I WILL CONTROL ANVILANIA

AND THEN FINALLY, THE ANVILS WILL ALL BE MINE!

ANVILS? ANVILS? ANVILS?

YES. I WILL HAVE ALL THE ANVILS.

EXSQUEEZE ME. THIS IS ABOUT ANVILS?

WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

YOU CAN HAVE MY ANVIL.

I DON'T WANT THIS TINY THING.

THEN HAVE THIS ONE.

NO!

NOT ME. I'M KEEPING MINE.

NO, NO! I WANT BIG ANVILS AND LOTS OF THEM.

NO PROBLEM. WAIT RIGHT HERE.

ACTUALLY... WAIT RIGHT HERE.

[CLUNK]

THOSE KIND OF ANVILS?

YES!

O.K.

[THUD]

[CLANG]

FACTORY DIRECT TO YOU. NO MIDDLE MAN!

I AM THE KING!

[GASP]

FIRE!

YOU LITTLE--

WHERE DID THEY GO?

I...

BLEE...

WO...

POOR LITTLE EVIL FELLOW WHO ASKED FOR IT.

HERE. YOU CAN HAVE MY ANVIL AFTER ALL.

AAH.

THAT COMPLETES THE DELIVERY.

JUST SIGN HERE.

OHH, YOU WIN.

I GIVE UP. I SURRENDER.

DO WITH ME WHAT YOU WILL.

MR. TATOR, I'VE GOT A PUNISHMENT

THAT'S FAIR, JUST, AND CLEVER--

OR MAYBE JUST FAIRLY CLEVER.

WHATEVER.

* WE THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT *

* AND OF THE WAR WE NOW REPORT *

* OUR COUNTRY HAD BEEN THREATENED *

* BY A MEAN AND CRAFTY MAN *

* HE WANTED ALL OUR ANVILS *

* AND OUR COUNTRY IN THE CAN *

* WE GATHERED UP THE BRAVEST MEN *

* BUT THEY ALL RAN AWAY *

* SO WAKKO, DOT, AND I THE KING *

* WENT OFF TO EARN OUR PAY *

* THE BATTLE, IT WAS FIERCE *

* BUT WE ROLLED WITH THE PUNCH *

* THE ODDS, THEY WERE AGAINST US *

* SIX HOURS WITHOUT LUNCH *

* WE FOOLED THE OLD DICTATOR *

* AND HIS CASTLE WAS DESTROYED *

* BUT WE'RE NOT MEAN *

* AND NOW WITH US HE'S GAINFULLY EMPLOYED *

THIS ANVIL WAS SO BIG...

HOW BIG WAS IT?

THIS BIG.

* SO NOW WON'T YOU JOIN US *

* FOR COUNTRY AND THE KING? *

* RAISE YOUR HAMMERS HIGH *

* AND LET THE ANVILS RING *

* LET THE ANVILS RING

* LET THE ANVILS RING *

[DING DONG]

[DING]

[DONG]

POLKA DOT? POLKA DOT?

WHY NOT?

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1993 WARNER BROS. ANIMATION GOODBYE, NURSE!

PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE