Original subtitles

* JUST LISTEN UP

* AND YOU'LL HEAR A TALE *

* A TALE OF THE WARNER THREE *

* WHEN ON THE WATER TOWER

* THEY DID TRY TO FLEE

* THEY SHOT INTO THE PUFFY CLOUDS *

* SOME SEEDS TO MAKE IT RAIN *

* AND RAIN IT DID, SO MUCH IN FACT *

* THAT TOWER FLOATED AWAY

* ALL AROUND L.A.

* WHEN THE RAIN DRIED UP, THE TOWER WAS AGROUND *

* ON THE BURBANK LOT

* THE WARNER BROTHERS THEN ESCAPED *

* WITH THEIR SISTER DOT

* AND THEY TOOK OFF LIKE A SHOT *

* NOW THEY'RE BEING CHASED AROUND *

* THE WARNER STUDIO

* BY SCRATCHANSNIFF

* AND HELLO NURSE

* THE CEO

* RALPH THE GUARD

* SOME MOVIE STARS

* THE PROFESSOR AND MARIANNE *

* ON THE WARNERS LOT *

* IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS *

* AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX *

* YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS *

* AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT *

* JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND *

* THE WARNER MOVIE LOT

* THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER *

* WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT

* BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE *

* AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* DOT IS CUTE

* AND YAKKO YAKS

* WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS *

* WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN

* WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE *

* GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER *

* SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE *

* BUTTONS CHASES MINDY

* WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE

* THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT *

* WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE?

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS *

* WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS *

* WE'RE ANIMANEE *

* TOTALLY INSANE-Y

* HERE'S A SHOW THAT'S MAINLY *

* ANIMANIACS

* THOSE ARE THE FACTS *

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

ONE TIME, O.K., SEE,

ONE TIME RANDY BEEMAN'S MOM HAD A DREAM

THAT SHE ATE A BIG MARSHMALLOW,

AND IT WAS REALLY GOOD.

WHEN SHE WOKE UP HER PILLOW WAS GONE,

'CAUSE SHE ATE IT.

O.K. BYE.

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

AHEM.

BEGGING YOUR PARDON, SIR.

YES, YES, WHAT, WHAT!

I'M SISTER MARGARET MARY ANN JUNE JULY,

AND I WAS WONDERING, MR. FLAXSEED--

OUR ORPHANAGE HASN'T MUCH MONEY--

WOULD YOU CONSIDER DONATING SOME OF YOUR FINE CANDIES

TO OUR SWEET BOYS AND GIRLS

FOR OUR EASTER CELEBRATION?

YOU MEAN...FOR FREE?

YES, EXACTLY.

NO!

OOF!

PFFFFT!

DEADBEATS! WHERE DO THEY COME FROM?

HOW'S THAT FOR AN ENTRANCE?

[SNIFFING]

LOOK!

[CHOIR SINGS]

SOMEDAY I'LL FIND THOSE SINGERS.

HMM? OH!

WHAT HORRIFYING LITTLE CHILDREN!

I SHALL BE FRIGHTENED FOR HOURS.

GO AWAY! SHOO! SHOO!

YOU FRIGHTEN ME.

LOOK! HE'S WAVING AT US.

WHAT A NICE MAN. HE WANTS US TO COME IN.

* THE CANDYMAN'S SWELL *

* ONE LOOK AND YOU CAN TELL *

* THAT THIS NICE MAN WEARS A TOUPEE *

* PLEASE DON'T MIND WHAT I WILL NOW SAY *

* I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD WEAR...A BERET **

HEY!

WE ARE THE WARNER BROTHERS...

AND THE WARNER SISTER.

BUY SOMETHING OR LEAVE.

I LIKE HIM, DON'T YOU?

THIS IS A GREAT STORE, MR. CANDYMAN.

I'M NOT THE CANDYMAN.

YOU SELL CANDY, DON'T YOU, KID?

I'M NOT A KID.

RELAX, MY GOOD MAN.

I'M NOT YOUR GOOD MAN!

WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF OPTIONS HERE.

WHAT...DO YOU WANT?

WORLD PEACE WOULD BE NICE,

A CHEVROLET IN EVERY DRIVEWAY,

AN END TO PESTILENCE AND FAMINE.

UNTIL THEN, WE'RE JUST BROWSING.

STOP, STOP, STOP TOUCHING EVERYTHING!

IF YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING, ASK!

ALL RIGHT.

WE'D LIKE TO SEE THE JELLYBEANS.

NOT THOSE, THOSE.

[BAA-AA-AA-AA]

[CRACKLE]

COME IN, HOUSTON.

DON'T LOOK DOWN!

YOU MIGHT FALL AND DIE,

AND YOUR BRAINS WOULD LEAK OUT ALL OVER.

[GULP]

WHOA! DUMBER THAN ADVERTISED.

[PANTING]

THERE! NOW, HOW MANY DO YOU WANT?

NONE. WE JUST WANTED TO SEE THEM.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ME.

NO. THIS IS MAKING FUN OF YOU.

WE SELL CANDY! WE SELL CANDY!

SEE THE DIFFERENCE?

I LOVE A TAFFY PULL.

GIVE THAT TO ME!

AAAHH!

CHOO-CHOO CHOO-CHOO, CHOO-CHOO CHOO-CHOO,

CHOO-CHOO CHOO-CHOO, CHOO-CHOO CHOO-CHOO,

WHOO-WHOO!

SSSSSSS.

YOU DROPPED YOUR HAIR.

NOW THIS REALLY TAKES THE CAKE.

WHERE DO YOU WANT US TO TAKE THEM?

EITHER BUY SOMETHING RIGHT NOW,

OR I SHALL DELIGHT IN THROWING YOU OUT OF HERE!

WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.

CAN WE HAVE SOMETHING FOR FREE?

FOR FREE?

OOF!

HEY! HE CAN'T DO THAT TO US!

OOF!

ON SECOND THOUGHT, AH...

MAYBE HE CAN.

TELEGRAM FOR FERMAN FLAXSEED.

HOW ABOUT A TIP?

DON'T EAT LEAD.

DID YOU MISS US?

GIVE US A KISS, KID.

LOOK!

MALTED MILK BALLS!

I'M OUT.

NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY CHILDREN.

STOP RIGHT THERE!

YOU PUT THOSE CHILDREN DOWN, YOU BEAST!

BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THEY WERE--

WAAH! WAAH!

COME ON, GIRLS!

THAT'S THE ONE!

GET HIM!

WAIT! YOU'RE NUNS!

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO RESORT TO PHYSICAL VIOLENCE!

HE'S RIGHT.

LET US PRAY.

[PRAYING]

OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!

[TWEET]

[MARCHING BAND PLAYS]

CLOBBER FLAXSEED! CLOBBER FLAXSEED!

SIS, BOOM, BAH!

FIGHTING IRISH! FIGHTING IRISH!

RAH, RAH, RAH!

GO FLAXSEED!

JUST KIDDING.

YOU SHOULD GO HIT THE SHOWER.

MAKE SURE TO WASH BEHIND YOUR EARS.

HE'S SO CUTE.

[APPLAUSE]

I KNOW ALL OF US HERE AT THE ORPHANAGE

WANT TO THANK THE WARNER BROTHERS...

AND SISTER...

FOR DONATING THIS LOVELY CHOCOLATE EASTER BUNNY

TO THE CHILDREN.

[CHILDREN CHEERING]

WAIT'LL THEY GET TO THE CREAMY FILLING.

ONE TIME, O.K., SEE,

ONE TIME RANDY BEEMAN'S AUNT WAS SITTING ON THE FRONT PORCH,

AND SHE WAS IN HER BARE FEET.

SHE FELT A LICK, AND SHE THOUGHT IT WAS HER DOG,

BUT IT WAS THIS CRAZY GUY THAT DID THAT A LOT.

O.K. BYE.

* THE CRANKIEST OF CREATURES IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD *

* OUR NEXT CARTOON FEATURES SLAPPY THE SQUIRREL *

ENOUGH WITH THE SINGING ALREADY!

* THAT'S SLAPPY **

* BUMBIE, THE DEAREST DEER *

* DEEP IN THE DARKEST FOREST HE GREW *

* BUMBIE, THE DEAREST DEER *

* HIS MOTHER, THE ONLY FRIEND HE KNEW **

LIFE IS GOOD.

I'M BUMPING.

THAT'S WHY THEY CALL ME BUMPER.

HIS BIOGRAPHY SAID HE BUMPED HIS BUTT

'CAUSE HE ATE TOO MUCH SUGAR.

SHH!

O.K., MR. GENE SHALIT.

YOU MUST BE CAREFUL.

THERE'S NO COVER HERE FROM THE HUNTERS.

I WILL, MOMMY.

[YAWNS]

MOMMY, MOMMY! WHERE ARE YOU?

[GUNSHOT]

MOMMY?

BUMBIE'S MOMMY.

WAAH!

PAT, I'D LIKE TO BUY A VOWEL!

WAAH!

BUMBIE'S MOMMY!

IT'S JUST A MOVIE.

SHE'S NOT REALLY--

DEAD! SHE'S DEAD!

BUMBIE'S AN ORPHAN!

WAAH!

WHAT IS THAT CHILD'S PROBLEM?

ME, AND IN ABOUT TWO SECONDS,

YOU'RE GOING TO SHARE THAT PROBLEM.

WELL, I NEVER!

WELL, YOU SHOULD. IT'S FUN.

[GASPS]

WAAH!

WAAH!

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GET SOME AIR?

WAAH!

MOMMY?

WAAH!

WAAH!

SAY ONE WORD, AND I'LL THROW DYNAMITE DOWN YOUR PANTS!

OH! USE A TISSUE.

[HONK]

NO ONE EVER REALLY GETS HURT IN CARTOONS.

LOOK!

YOU'RE ALL RIGHT, RIGHT?

NEVER FELT BETTER.

SEE?

BUT BUMBIE WASN'T A CARTOON.

IT WAS A MOVIE.

BUMBIE'S MOTHER IS... WAAH!

IS IT ME?

THAT MAMA DEER WAS JUST AN ACTRESS-- VINA WALLEEN.

WE WERE PALS.

SHE USED TO DATE GEORGE JETSON.

HAVE I EVER LIED TO YOU?

YOU SAID KENO'S LEGAL IN BURBANK.

YOU SAID MAGILLA GORILLA WAS A WOMAN.

CAN IT!

LET ME PROVE IT.

OH, WHERE'D I PUT THAT THING?

AH, HERE IT IS.

I'M TAKING YOU TO MEET BUMBIE'S MOM.

BUMBIE'S MOM?

SHE'S...WAAH!

OH, JOY.

WE'RE GOING TO TUMCUMCARI, NEW MEXICO.

WHY?

TO MEET BUMBIE'S MOM.

BUMBIE'S MOM?

SHE'S...WAAH!

PAVLOV WOULD LOVE THIS KID.

WAAH!

[SOBBING]

WOULD YOU LIKE ANYTHING?

PERHAPS A SEDATIVE?

HUH? I DON'T GET IT.

GO AWAY.

HELLO, NURSE!

THAT WAS POINTLESS.

HOW YOU DOING?

I FEEL AIRSICK.

URP!

DISSOLVE TO THE NEXT SCENE! QUICK!

BETTER?

YEAH.

BEEP! BEEP!

BEEP! BEEP!

ENOUGH WITH THE GRATUITOUS CAMEOS.

HERE WE GO.

YOU MEET VINA, AND I AVOID PAYING HUGE THERAPY BILLS.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

WHAT!

VINA, IT'S ME.

SLAPPY?

SLAPPY, DARLING, IS THAT YOU?

IF IT AIN'T, YOU BETTER CALL MY AGENT.

THIS IS MY NEPHEW SKIPPY.

SAY HELLO, SKIPPY.

HELLO.

WELL, COME ON IN!

I GOT SOME WIENER BEANER MIX-UP ON THE STOVE

AND FRESCA IN THE FRIDGE.

SO THEN PEBBLES SAYS,

"HEY! GET YOUR OWN BAM-BAM LADY!"

[LAUGHING]

AHH--HUH?

WHAT'S WITH YOU?

THAT'S NOT BUMBIE'S MOM.

SHE'S OLD!

TACTLESS YET RUDE.

HEY, COULD YOU DO A PIECE

OF THE OLD BUMBIE BIT FOR MY NEPHEW?

YOU MUST BE CAREFUL.

THERE'S NO COVER HERE FROM THE HUNTERS.

IT IS HER!

BUMBIE'S MOM!

BOY, THEM FLASHBACKS

DON'T LAST AS LONG AS THEY USED TO.

NOTHING DOES, BABY.

FEEL BETTER?

YEP!

LET'S WATCH THE IN-FLIGHT MOVIE, EH?

O.K.

HERE, BOY! COME ON!

[RUFF RUFF]

OLD YELLOW! OLD YELLOW!

[GUNSHOT]

OLD YELLOW.

UH-OH.

WAAH!

WAAH!

FADE OUT, ALREADY! WE GOT THE JOKE.

WAAH!

GOODBYE, NURSE!