Original subtitles

[NARRATOR] DATELINE--HOLLYWOOD. 1930.

THE WARNER BROTHERS STUDIO.

HERE AT THE STUDIO'S ANIMATION DEPARTMENT,

THE ARTISTS TOILED ENDLESSLY

TO COME UP WITH CARTOON STARS

ULTIMATELY CREATING THREE NEW CHARACTERS--

THE WARNER BROTHERS AND THEIR SISTER DOT.

HELLO, NURSE! HELLO, NURSE! HELLO, NURSE!

UNFORTUNATELY, THE WARNER KIDS

WERE TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL.

BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY!

BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY!

THE TRIO RAN AMUCK THROUGHOUT THE STUDIO

UNTIL THEIR CAPTURE.

THE WARNERS' FILMS, WHICH MADE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE,

WERE LOCKED AWAY, NEVER TO BE RELEASED.

AS FOR THE WARNERS THEMSELVES,

THEY WERE LOCKED AWAY IN THE STUDIO WATER TOWER,

ALSO NEVER TO BE RELEASED.

PUBLICLY THE STUDIO HAS DISAVOWED ANY KNOWLEDGE

OF THE WARNERS' EXISTENCE TO THIS VERY DAY

WHEN THE WARNERS ESCAPED.

* IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS *

* AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX *

* YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS *

* AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT *

* JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND *

* THE WARNER MOVIE LOT

* THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER *

* WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT

* BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE *

* AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* DOT IS CUTE

* AND YAKKO YAKS

* WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS *

* WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN

* WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE *

* GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER *

* SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE *

* BUTTONS CHASES MINDY

* WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE

* THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT *

* WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE?

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS *

* WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS *

* WE'RE ANIMANEE *

* TOTALLY INSANE-Y

* HERE'S THE SHOW'S NAMEY *

* ANIMANIACS

* THOSE ARE THE FACTS *

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

[WATER FLUSHES]

THE WARNERS HAVE ESCAPED!

CATCH THEM!

* LALLY-DALLY-LOO

* LALLY-DALLY-LEE

* YOU CAN'T CATCH US *

* WE'RE THE WARNERS THREE **

SHUSH.

TAG. YOU'RE IT.

[RASPBERRY]

I-I CAUGHT 'EM, DOC.

I-I GOT 'EM.

GOOD FOR YOU.

GOOD FOR ME.

YOU GOT ME, YOU BIG DUMMY!

UM...THERE THEY ARE.

GET THEM!

RALPH, YOU TAKE THE BACK.

MISS NURSE, YOU TAKE--

MY BREATH AWAY.

YOU TAKE THE SIDE.

I'LL GO IN THE FRONT.

OHHH!

GOODBYE, NURSE!

I-I...

GOTCHA!

UH...NOT.

WE'LL HIDE HERE UNTIL THE COAST IS CLEAR.

[APPLAUSE]

OOH, A MAGIC SHOW. THIS OUGHT TO BE FUN.

FRANZ SHUBERT INTENDED THIS SCHERZO

TO REFLECT THE STRUGGLE

BETWEEN INTELLECT AND THE CREATIVE PROCESS.

AHH.

I DON'T THINK HE'S A MAGICIAN.

THIS IS JUST A SETUP.

MISTER, PULL A RABBIT OUT OF YOUR PANTS.

SHH! SHH!

WHAT ARE YOU, LEAKY TIRES?

HOWEVER,

SHUBERT WAS SIMPLY INCAPABLE

OF EXPRESSING SUCH A DELICATE NUANCE.

BUT, THANKS TO MY GENIUS,

I WILL PERFORM THIS GREAT WORK,

NOT AS THE COMPOSER WROTE IT,

BUT AS HE INTENDED.

SHUBERT'S INTERMEZZO ANDANTE ALLEGRO OPUS 9.

*

WE'RE OUTTA HERE.

EXCUSE US. COMING THROUGH.

MAKE WAY. PARDON US.

GANGWAY. GOTTA GO. COMING THROUGH.

UH-OH.

HIT REVERSE, SIBS.

SU NODRAP. YAW EKAM.

HGUORTH GNIMOC. SU ESUCXE.

YAWGMAG. OG ATTOG.

[SHOES SQUEAK]

THE CONCERT HAS BEGUN.

TAKE YOUR SEATS!

YOUR MOTHER USED PAMPERS.

ONCE AGAIN,

THE SHUBERT.

[CRACKING]

[CRUNCHING]

CARAMEL CORN?

DON'T MIND IF I DO.

TAFFY?

'KAY.

ALL OF IT.

AAH!

DISGUSTING!

THE SHUBERT.

[BLOWING]

NOW, THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT.

[APPLAUSE]

VERY PETE TOWNSEND-ESQUE.

WHO?

EXACTLY.

OOH! OOH! OOH!

YES, WELL...

FOR MY NEXT NUMBER,

LUDWIG VON PLOTZBURGER'S

MOST COMPELLING MUSICAL ACCOMPLISHMENT.

REGRETFULLY,

ONLY A SOPHISTICATED EAR AS MINE OWN

CAN FULLY APPRECIATE THE DEPTH

OF THIS MASTERPIECE.

COMPLETE AND ABSOLUTE CONCENTRATION

IS REQUIRED.

VON PLOTZBURGER'S PAVAN AND DIRGE

IN C-MINOR,

OPUS 7 AND ELEVEN.

[SNORING]

** ** **

BRAVO!

BRAVO!

BRAVO!

BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!

ENCORE! ENCORE!

[WHISTLES]

AH, SO THERE YOU IS.

I-I CAUGHT 'EM NOW, DOC.

GOOD JOB, RALPHIE.

LET'S HAVE A LOOK.

VAS IS DAS?

OHHH!

BUT...

WHERE ARE ZE WARNER BROTHERS?

* 'TWAS A GUY NAMED JOE *

* FROM KOKOMO

* PLAYIN' THAT PIANO RAG *

WHEE!

* HE BANGED THE KEYS

* WITH HIS HEAD AND HIS KNEES *

* PLAYIN' THAT PIANO RAG *

* HE TWIDDLED WITH THIS TOES *

* AND HE DIDDLED WITH HIS NOSE *

* PLAYIN' THAT PIANO RAG *

* AND WHEN THE DAY WAS DONE *

* HE HAD SOME FUN

* PLAYIN' THAT PIANO RAG *

* HE WAS PLAYIN' THAT PIANO RAG **

[THUNDER]

THANK YOU.

KEEP THE CHANGE.

EXCUSE ME.

I HAVE TO, UH...

GIVE, UH... RETURN, UH...

SPIT IT OUT, SISTER.

TAKE THIS CAT!

IT'S JUST NOT WORKING OUT.

I THOUGHT I'D LIKE HAVING A CAT.

I THOUGHT SHE'D BE GOOD COMPANY.

I JUST WENT THROUGH A HORRIBLE BREAKUP.

[SNIFFS]

EEEUWW, MAN.

IT'S JUST... SHE'S SO INDEPENDENT.

SHE'D JUST SIT AND STARE AT ME

LIKE SHE'S BETTER THAN ME OR SOMETHING.

YOU UNDERSTAND.

I WANT A PET WHO'LL COME WHEN I CALL,

CUDDLE ME AFTER A BAD DAY.

HAVE A KID, LADY.

AAH!

OHH...

WOOF! WOOF!

SLOW DOWN.

SLOW DOWN, WILL YOU?

RUFF!

I SPENT 700 BUCKS TRYING TO POTTY-TRAIN THIS DOG,

AND HE STILL WON'T GO ON THE PAPER.

MY KID REALLY WANTED A DOG,

BUT THIS THING'S EATEN EVERY PAIR OF SHOES I OWN.

HE COMPLETELY DESTROYED

A $4,000 PURE TEAK TIMBERKIDS PLAY SET.

HE CHEWED IT TO BITS.

OH, I HATE DOGS.

GOSH, WHAT A NICE GUY.

[SNIFFING]

WHO'S THERE?

WHERE?

ALL RIGHT, BUB, WHO ARE YOU?

MY NAME'S RUNT, BUT MY MASTER CALLS ME STUPID.

WHAT A NICE GUY.

WHO ARE YOU?

NAME'S RITA.

FIRST TIME IN THE JOINT?

YUP.

WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR?

WETTING ON THE CARPET. YOU?

SAME AS ALWAYS--

BEING TOO HIP FOR THE ROOM.

OH.

[SNORING]

OH, HERE COMES A TICKET TO FREEDOM.

MAKE WITH THE SAD EYES.

I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING CUTE,

SOMETHING INDEPENDENT.

OH, THAT'S IT!

OH, IT'S ADORABLE!

OH!

[COUGH]

OH.

COME TO MAMA.

HUMANS. GO FIG.

YEAH, AIN'T THEY GREAT?

WHO ELSE WOULD ADOPT A RAT?

[DOOR SHUTS]

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

SOON WE'LL BE SLEEPING THE BIG SLEEP.

I COULD USE A NAP.

THEY'RE GOING TO GAS US!

WE'LL BE DEAD.

I DON'T THINK I'M THAT TIRED.

YOU'RE NOT A VERY SMART CAT, HUH?

NOPE.

WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE HONEST.

[YAWN]

WHAT'S A HUMAN GOOD FOR, ANYWAY?

THEY PET YOU WHEN YOU'RE SAD.

THEY SMACK YOU WHEN YOU'RE BAD.

WHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY, THEY DEFINITELY FEED YOU.

YEAH, ON VACATIONS THEY LEAVE YOU

WITH HARDLY NO FOOD.

RING A BELL, DUDE?

[WHIMPERS]

EXACTLY MY POINT.

* HUMANS AIN'T WHAT THEY SEEM TO BE *

* THEY DON'T MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME *

* NO, NOT MUCH AT ALL

* WHEN YOU'RE LITTLE AND TINY *

* THEY PET YOUR CUTE HEINIE *

* BUT THEN WHEN YOU GROW *

IT'S A SIMPLE NO-SHOW *

* IT'S SHOO-SHOO OFF THIS *

* AND DON'T YOU DARE SCRATCH ON THAT *

* IF THEY CALL YOU AT ALL *

* IT'S ALWAYS "DUMB CAT" *

* HUMANS AIN'T WHAT THEY SEEM TO BE *

* THEY DON'T MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME *

* NO, NOT MUCH AT ALL

* BUT WHEN IT'S ALL DARK AND QUIET *

* I TRY HARD TO FIGHT IT *

* BUT I DREAM OF HOME

* THEN I WON'T HAVE TO ROAM *

* SOMEONE TO FEED ME AND PUT ME TO BED *

* AND SCRATCH ME JUST SO *

* ON TOP OF MY HEAD

* BUT I AIN'T GONNA LOVE 'EM *

* NOT GONNA ANSWER THAT CALL *

* 'CAUSE HUMANS DON'T MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME *

* NO

* NOT MUCH AT ALL *

[SIGH]

WHO KNEW?

HEY, UH...

IT'S BEEN NICE MAKING YOUR ACQUAINTANCE.

IF I MADE IT,

I'M GLAD IT WAS NICE.

UH, HEY, IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING,

JUST WHISTLE.

[WHISTLING POP GOES THE WEASEL]

ME AND MY OVERUSED CLICHES.

LET'S ASSUME THE APPARENT.

YOU WANT ME TO BUST YOU OUT.

IF I DON'T, IT'LL PLAY ON MY CONSCIENCE

LIKE AN OUT-OF-TUNE ACCORDION.

ONCE I SPRING YOU, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

I DON'T KNOW YOU. YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

WOOF!

WOOF?

YOU'RE A DOG!

SO ARE YOU.

YOU'RE A GOOD DOG, RITA,

A REALLY GOOD DOG.

I AM A CAT.

A CAT?

A CAT?

WHERE? WHERE'S A CAT?

WHERE'S THE FURRY FELINE?

I'LL CHOMP IT TO BITS.

GRRR!

GRRR!

AW, NEVER MIND. LET'S AMSCRAY.

BREAK IT UP.

TROUBLEMAKERS, HUH?

LOOKS LIKE I'LL HAVE TO SEPARATE YOU TWO.

GRRR...WOOF!

I HATE GOVERNMENT JOBS.

HEY, LASSIE!

YOU CAN STOP NOW.

HEEL, BOY!

[THWACK]

[SIGH]

DOGS.

THAT WAS A PRETTY CHIVALROUS THING

YOU DID BACK THERE.

REALLY?

GEE, I'M SORRY.

WHAT DO YOU SAY

WE PAL AROUND TOGETHER FOR A WHILE

TILL WE FIND A HOME?

THAT WOULD BE TERRIFIC.

BUT WHEN WE EACH FIND HOMES...

I DON'T KNOW YOU. YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

DEAL?

I DON'T HAVE ANY CARDS.

HIT THE ROAD, EINSTEIN.

HEY, RITA, LOOK AT ALL THE TREES!

WHAT HAVE I STARTED?

DO OTHER DOGS KNOW ALL ABOUT THESE TREES?

THIS IS INCREDIBLE.

SMELL THIS ONE, RITA.

THIS ONE SMELLS LIKE CHEESE.

DEFINITELY A CHEESE TREE.

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1993 WARNER BROS. ANIMATION, A DIVISION OF TIME-WARNER ENTERTAINMENT CO., L.P.

PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

GOODBYE, NURSE! GOODBYE, NURSE! GOODBYE, NURSE!