Original subtitles

* THEY CALL US WARNER

* WARNER BROTHERS

* AND SISTER

* AIN'T SHE A DISH? *

* AND WE TASTE JUST LIKE FISH *

* AND THE WARNERS

* STIR UP

* CARTOON CONFUSION

* CAUSING CONTUSIONS

* WHEREVER THEY SWISH *

[IMITATING PORPOISES]

* IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS *

* AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX *

* YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS *

* AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT *

* JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND *

* THE WARNER MOVIE LOT

* THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER *

* WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT

* BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE *

* AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* DOT IS CUTE

* AND YAKKO YAKS

* WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS *

* WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN

* WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE *

* GOOD FEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER *

* SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE *

* BUTTONS CHASES MINDY

* WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE

* THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT *

* WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE?

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS *

* WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS *

* WE'RE ANIMANEE *

* TOTALLY INSANE-Y

* COCKAMAMIE

* ANIMANIACS

* THOSE ARE THE FACTS *

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

AH-CHOO!

MR. PLOTZ, I'M SICK, SIR.

I'M GOING HOME.

HOME? BUT--BUT-- BUT WHO'LL DO

ALL MY IMPORTANT LITTLE EXECUTIVE THINGS?

HE'S THE PHONE NUMBER FOR A TEMP AGENCY.

THEY'LL SEND SOMEONE OVER.

CALL THEM? ON THE PHONE?

WITH ALL THOSE NUMBERS AND BUTTONS?

BUT I--

AH-CHOO!

I'M SORRY, SIR. GOODBYE, SIR.

[MUTTERING]

5. SO I PRESS THIS 5. IS THAT IT?

NO. WAIT. 4. DO I PRESS THIS 4?

OH, I CAN'T DO THIS BY MYSELF.

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

I'LL GET IT! I'LL GET IT!

I'LL GET IT!

LET ME GET IT!

I WANT TO GET IT!

ALL RIGHT. NOBODY GETS IT.

FINE. FINE.

[RING RING RING]

I'LL GET IT!

LOOK! THE HORROR!

WHAT? WHAT?

HELLO, NURSE.

I NEVER GET TO GET IT.

MAY I HELP YOU?

OH, THANK HEAVEN. FINALLY.

THIS IS THE CEO OF WARNER BROS.

I NEED HELP OVER HERE BECAUSE--

WHO IS THIS?

IT'S ME--YAKKO.

DON'T WORRY, T.P. WE'LL BE RIGHT OVER.

I DIALED THE WRONG NUMBER.

STAY AWAY FROM ME, DO YOU HEAR? HELLO! HELLO!

OH, MY. WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHERE'S MY ASPIRIN?

REPORTING FOR WORK, SIR.

GET BACK IN YOUR TOWER.

YOU NEEDED US TO BE SCELECATARIES.

NEVER!

AND GIVE ME BACK MY PAPERWEIGHT.

O.K. BUT YOU HAVE TO WAIT A WHILE.

GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.

EWW!

[RING]

THE PHONE.

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

HELLO. HELLO.

I SAID HELLO!

HELLO! OH, HOW DOES THIS WORK?

I'LL GET IT! I'LL GET IT!

LOOK! WAYNE NEWTON!

WHERE?

[RING]

MR. PLOTZ' OFFICE. MAY I HELP YOU?

I NEVER GET TO GET IT.

YES, MR. COSTNER. THURSDAY AT 2 IS FINE.

YES. UH-HUH. OKEY-DOKEY. YOU BET.

OH, ISN'T THAT SWEET? O.K. YOU BET. UH-HUH. BYE-BYE.

WELL, I GUESS IT WOULDN'T HURT

FOR YOU TO STAY THE DAY TO HELP OUT.

YOU'LL NEVER LIVE TO REGRET IT.

HEAVEN HELP ME.

STILL HOLDING, MR. SCHWARZENEGGER?

O.K. OH, I'D LOVE THAT RECIPE.

AREN'T YOU A DOLL? STAY ON THE LINE.

STILL THERE, MR. EASTWOOD? PLEASE HOLD.

MR. KATZENBERG? YOU'LL BE HOLDING.

MISS PFEIFFER, HOLD.

MISS FONDA, TAKE A BIG BREATH AND HOLD.

WHEW.

WHY IS EVERYBODY ON HOLD?

'CAUSE MR. PLOTZ IS VERY BUSY.

MY HEAVENS, IT'S A SLOW DAY.

I HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANY CALLS.

[KNOCK KNOCK]

COME IN.

HELLO.

AAH! DON'T DO THAT!

I'M SORRY, T.P. THESE THINGS NEED YOUR SIGNATURE.

OH, GOODIE. I LIKE DOING THAT.

SIGN HERE...

HERE, HERE, AND HERE.

BY THE WAY, WHAT AM I SIGNING?

A LITTLE OF THAT, A LITTLE OF THIS.

MOSTLY THIS.

MR. SINATRA, HOLD.

MR. REDFORD, HOLD...ME.

MR. PRESIDENT,

GET TO WORK.

HELLO, MEL!

I'D LIKE TO SEE MR. PLOTZ.

HE'S BUSY. LET'S TALK ABOUT US.

WHY DON'T I, UH, JUST WAIT.

NO! LET'S STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER!

HE TOUCHED ME.

[GASP]

DIDN'T I MEET YOU ON A SUMMER CRUISE?

I'VE NEVER BEEN ON ONE.

WANT TO? I HAVE TICKETS.

HA HA. ON SECOND THOUGHT, I'LL JUST CALL.

I'M GOING TO MARRY THAT MAN.

HERE, HERE,

HERE, HERE,

HERE, HERE, HERE.

SORRY. I GOT CARRIED AWAY.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WE'RE RICH!

WE'RE POOR!

WAKKO, MAKE COPIES.

YAKKO, TYPE THIS MEMO.

DOT, FILE THESE.

WELL, GET TO WORK!

[CRACK]

[IMITATING TYPEWRITER]

[DING]

[DING]

[DING DING]

[DING DING DING]

[DING DING DING DING]

[DING]

[DING DING]

[DING]

[DING DING]

[DING DING DING]

[DING DING DING DING]

[DING]

I'M DONE.

I'M DONE.

ME, TOO.

[RING]

I'LL GET IT! I'LL GET IT!

[RING]

LOOK! IT'S A BIG FAT FANNY!

HELLO, NURSE! HOLD, PLEASE.

I NEVER GET TO GET IT!

WAKKO, COME IN MY OFFICE.

PPLLBBT!

SIT DOWN.

TAKE A LETTER.

WHERE TO?

NO. I WANT YOU TO WRITE A LETTER.

O.K.

DEAR SANTA, I'VE BEEN SO GOOD THIS YEAR.

I'D LIKE A NEW MALLET AND A BRASS ANVIL.

NO, NO, NO, NO! WRITE A LETTER FOR ME!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS.

DOT, GET IN HERE. I NEED TO DICTATE A LETTER.

JUST A MOMENT, MR. PLOTZ.

IN CONCLUSION, IT IS IMPERATIVE

THAT THIS MOVIE BE BROUGHT IN

UNDER BUDGET AND ON TIME.

SINCERELY, THADDEUS PLOTZ.

DOT, READ THAT BACK.

READ WHAT BACK?

THE LETTER I DICTATED.

WHAT LETTER?

I'M SORRY. WERE YOU SAYING SOMETHING?

OUT!

YAKKO, CAN YOU TAKE DICTATION?

SURE, BOSS.

FINALLY.

TAKE IT WHERE?

AAH!

WHY, YOU--

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. TAKE IT EASY, THAD.

WHO SCREAMED?

HE DID. HE BLEW.

GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

I'LL GET IT! I'LL GET IT!

[RING]

[RING]

AHA!

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

STOP!

TIME OUT.

WHEN WILL THIS INSANITY END?

WHEN ONE OF US ANSWERS THE PHONE, SILLY.

I DID NOT KNOW THAT.

TIME IN.

[RING]

[RING]

I'LL GET IT.

HELLO. UH-HUH.

UH-HUH. O.K.

BYE-BYE.

THAT WAS YOUR SCELECATARY.

SHE'S STILL SICK.

YOU GET US FOR ONE MORE DAY.

OH...

BUTTONS!

OH, BUTTONS!

[GIGGLING]

SILLY PUPPY.

[SQUEALING]

MINDY, LET'S GET YOU IN YOUR HARNESS.

I'VE GOT A TREAT FOR YOU.

O.K., LADY.

I'M YOUR MOTHER. CALL ME MOM.

O.K., LADY.

[SIGH]

NOW YOU SHOULD BE PERFECTLY SAFE IN THERE.

HERE'S YOUR TREAT, HON.

LOLLY.

THANK YOU, LADY. I LOVE YOU, BYE-BYE.

[SIGH] YEAH. O.K.

NOW, BUTTONS, NO TREAT FOR YOU

UNLESS YOU'RE A GOOD BOY.

NO MISBEHAVING.

AND, BUTTONS, DON'T TERRORIZE THE MAILMAN.

[WHO, ME?]

AHH! HA HA!

HIYA, MINDY.

HI, MR. MAN.

LOLLY.

HUH?

LOLLY.

[RUFF RUFF RUFF]

[RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF]

[RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF]

OHH...

BUTTONS!

HEE HEE. SILLY PUPPY.

[GASP]

O.K. I LOVE YOU. BYE-BYE!

[SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF]

[BURP]

HIYA, FOLKS.

AH-YUP, LOAD HER UP.

LOLLY.

LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY.

[GASP]

[WHIMPERING]

HUH?

COLD.

I PUSH THE BUTTON.

LOLLY. LOLLY!

HUH?

WOO!

AH. LOLLY.

BUTTONS, YOU SO SILLY.

[SIGH]

MINDY? MINDY, IS EVERYTHING O.K. OUT THERE?

HI, LADY.

CALL ME MOM.

IS BUTTONS TAKING GOOD CARE OF--

BUTTONS! WHAT IS THIS?

I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE THE MAILMAN ALONE!

BAD DOG. BAD. NO TREAT FOR YOU.

HONESTLY.

[WHIMPERING]

YOU ARE NOW HYPNOTIZED.

WE ARE NOW HYPNOTIZED.

OOH, GOOD. HEH HEH.

WHEN YOU WAKES FROM SLEEPY TIME,

YOU WILL NO LONGER BE ZANY.

YOU WILL BE CALM CHILDREN

WHO LIKE TO SIT AND BE REALLY QUIET.

NOW WAKE UP.

ARE YOU STILL ZANY?

ONLY OUR HAIRDRESSER KNOWS FOR SURE.

STOP THAT! SIT DOWN!

NOTHING I TRY WORKS WITH YOU KIDS.

I'M THINK YOU'RE NOT NORMAL.

I'M AS NORMAL AS THE NEXT KID!

ME, TOO.

ME, THREE!

NO! WHAT ARE YOU?

LOOK AT YOU WITH THOSE EARS AND TAILS!

THAT'S NOT NORMAL.

I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU?

WELL...

* MAYBE WE ARE DOGS

* CUTE LITTLE DOGS, WITH EARS *

WOOF! WOOF! [PANTING]

* AND LITTLE TAILS THAT WE CAN WAG *

* HEY, LET'S GO FETCH HIS SLIPPERS AND PLAY TAG *

HEY! GET OFF OF ME!

* MAYBE I'M A CAT *

* WHAT DO YA THINK OF THAT? *

* A LOVELY CAT THAT ALL THE WORLD ADORES *

* AND HERE'S MY KITTY PAWS *

* WITH LITTLE KITTY CLAWS *

* WHICH I LIKE TO SHARPEN ON YOUR COUCH *

AAH! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

* MAYBE I'M A BUNNY *

* HOPPIN' ROUND HERE HAPPY AS I PLEASE *

* OR PENGUINS AND IT'S COLD *

* WHICH MAKES YOU SNEEZE * AH-CHOO!

* I'VE GOT IT, OF COURSE *

* MAYBE I'M A HORSE *

* I CAN LIVE ON OATS AND HAY *

* AND LAUGH AND RUN AND JUMP AND PLAY *

* AND YOU CAN RIDE ON ME ALL DAY *

NO WAY!

* HEY, MAYBE I'M A SKUNK *

OH, BOY! YOU REALLY STINK!

* A DINOSAUR MIGHT BE SOME FUN *

BUT THEN YOU'D BE EXTINCT.

* MAYBE WE'RE ALL INSECTS *

* DO YOU LIKE BUGS AND BEES? *

YOU KIDS ARE BUGGY IN THE HEAD!

* MAYBE WE'RE GIANT FLEAS *

YAAH!

* MAYBE AN ELECTRIC EEL *

* A SEAL

* GET REAL!

* HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, I GOT IT NOW *

* YES, I DO YOU DO?

* WE'RE NOT BEES, AND WE'RE NOT CATS *

* OR BUGS OR HORSES OR THINGS LIKE THAT *

* WHAT WE ARE IS CLEAR AND ABSOLUTE *

* WHAT WE ARE, DEAR DOCTOR *

* IS CUTE *

I'M SORRY I ASKED.

I CAN'T THINK OF THE ENDING OF THIS SHOW.

I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE.