Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

* IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS *

* AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX *

* YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* COME JOIN THE WARNER BROS. *

* AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT *

* JUST FOR FUN, WE RUN AROUND THE WARNER MOVIE LOT *

* THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER *

* WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT

* BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE *

* AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* DOT IS CUTE AND YAKKO YAKS *

* WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS *

* WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN

* WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE *

* BUT FEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER *

* SLAPPY WACKS THEM WITH HER PURSE *

* LUCKY CHASES MINDY

* WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE

* THE WRITERS FLIP

* WE HAVE NO SCRIPT

* WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE?

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS *

* WE'RE SAVIN' TO THE MAX *

* THERE'S BOLOGNA IN OUR SLACKS *

* WE'RE ANIMANEY *

* TOTALLY INSANEY

* THE RAIN IN SPAINEY

* ANIMANIACS

* THOSE ARE THE FACTS *

IT WAS A CHICKEN, I TELL YOU.

DR. SCRATCHANSNIFF!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT KEEPS THIS STUDIO RUNNING?

UH...YOUR BRILLIANT LEADERSHIP, T.P.?

I MEAN BESIDES THAT.

WHAT KEEPS THIS PLACE GOING?

MEL GIBSON MOVIES?

YES, SCRATCHANSNIFF!

HOW DO WE PAY FOR THEM?

WITH MONEY. MONEY! AND WE NEED MORE.

WITH THAT IN MIND,

I'VE INVITED SOME POWERFUL FOREIGN INVESTORS

TO COME HERE TOMORROW.

THEY'RE PREPARED TO GIVE US ONE BILL--

ONE BILL--

ONE BILLION DOLLARS!

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

THAT'S A ONE WITH LOTS OF ZEROS AFTER IT.

NO! IT MEANS TOMORROW

IS THE STUDIO'S MOST IMPORTANT DAY!

I'M THROWING A GALA BANQUET

ON SOUND STAGE 10.

EVERY HOLLYWOOD STAR WILL BE THERE.

THE INVESTORS GET ROYAL TREATMENT,

AND WE'LL GET THE CHECK...

IFIT GOES SMOOTHLY!

THERE'S JUST ONE CATCH.

BEFORE THEY INVEST,

THEY WANT TO MEET EVERYONE WHO WORKS HERE,

INCLUDING YOU...

OOH, THAT'S NICE!

I LIKE A PARTY.

AND INCLUDING... THE WARNER BROS.

HI, T.P.!

AND THE WARNER SISTER.

NO, T.P.!

DON'T LET THE INVESTORS MEET THEM!

THEY'RE OUT OF CONTROL! THEY'RE--

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

YOU'RE THE STUDIO PSYCHIATRIST.

YOU HAVE 24 HOURS, SCRATCHANSNIFF,

TO TEACH THEM SOME MANNERS.

I CAN'T HAVE THOSE-- THOSE--WHAT ARE THEY?

I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, I CAN'T HAVE THEM RUINING THIS BANQUET! UNDERSTAND?

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL TRY.

TRYING IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH, SCRATCHANSNIFF.

DO IT!

UH! ARGH! OH!

OOF!

GRRR!

BRING ME THE WARNER BROS.

WISH ME LUCK, SIGGY.

[STRAINING SOUNDS]

* HELLO

* DOCTOR

* SCRATCHANSNIFF

* HE ASKS A LOT OF QUESTIONS *

* TO FIND OUT WHAT WE THINK *

* HE'S DR. SCRATCHANSNIFF, THE STUDIO SHRINK *

* HE SAYS

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

* WE SAY, WITH OUR HANDS

HOW DO YOU STAY TOGETHER?

* WE USE RUBBER BANDS

I WANT TO KNOW YOUR PSYCHE.

* THERE'S TWO INSIDE OUR SKULL *

NOW, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL THAT?

* A BI-PSYCHE-SKULL

* HE KNOWS OUR MOTIVATIONS

* THAT'S WHAT HE'D LIKE TO THINK *

* HE'S DR. SCRATCHANSNIFF, THE STUDIO SHRINK **

[CRASH]

STOP THAT! STOP!

DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE?

NO ONE REALLY KNOWS WHY, DOC,

ALTHOUGH SCHOPENHAUER HAD A THEORY--

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!

WHY'D YA SAY IT?

YOU'RE MISINTERPRETING!

NO, THIS IS MISS INTERPRETING.

THIS IS MISS UNDERSTANDING.

AND I'M MISS-TERIOUS.

OOH, A GIANT PEZ DISPENSER. WANT ONE?

STOP PLAYING WITH MY BUST!

GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.

BE QUIET! I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

STORY TIME!

GET TO THE SCARY PART.

WHAT SCARY PART?

THE PART WITH MY PET.

ARGGH!

AAH!

YA, YA, YOUR PET. O.K. GOOD PET, HEH HEH.

NOW LISTEN,

THE STUDIO'S GIVING A BIG PARTY FOR SOME INVESTORS

WITH MOVIE STARS AND EVERYTHING AND...

YOU HAVE BEEN INVITED.

MOVIE STARS?

MICHELLE PFEIFFER!

MEL GIBSON!

DON KNOTTS!

PLEASE!

THERE'S ALSO SOME BAD NEWS.

BEA ARTHUR'S PUTTING OUT A SWIMSUIT CALENDAR?

SHE IS?

NO!

THE BAD NEWS IS,

YOU CAN ONLY GO IF TRAINED TO BE

POLITE, CLEAN, WELL-DRESSED CHILDREN

ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS A PARTY.

WELL, YES OR NO?

[MUMBLING]

WELL, WHAT DID YOU DECIDE?

[MUMBLING]

YES OR NO?

YES!

YOU GOT A DEAL.

LET THE TRAINING BEGIN!

KEEP YOUR GUARD UP!

RIGHT! RIGHT!

AHH, YOU'RE A WRECKING MACHINE!

EEEE!

I GOT A HEADACHE THIS BIG.

AND NOW, MY LITTLE...

FRIENDS,

WE SHALL BEGIN TRAINING YOU FOR THE PARTY.

OH, MISS NURSE?

WILL YOU COME IN?

HELLO, NURSE!

BOYS. GO FIG.

SHE'S GOING TO ASSIST ME IN YOUR LESSONS ON ETIQUETTE.

START WITH THE RECEIVING LINE.

NO! THAT'S A CONGA LINE!

NICE TO KNOW YOU'RE UP ON YOUR DANCE STEPS.

ARGH!

GRRR!

NOW, IN A RECEIVING LINE,

IF I INTRODUCED HER,

WHAT WOULD BE THE PROPER GREETING?

HELLO, NURSE!

NO, NO! A PROPER GREETING LIKE THIS--

HOW DO YOU DO?

NOW, YAKKO, YOU TRY.

HOW DO YOU DO...

THAT THING WITH YOUR MOUTH?

TAKE ME AWAY...

BUT BE GENTLE. I'M FRAGILE.

IT'S IMPOLITE TO BE THAT PERSONAL.

WAKKO?

I DISAGREE!

NO! I WANT YOU TO GREET THE LADY.

HELLO, NURSE!

NO, NO, NO. HOW DO YOU DO?

FINE, THANKS.

EEE!

DOT, WOULD YOU CARE TO TRY IT?

BUT MAKE A LITTLE CURTSY.

THANKS, BUT I DID BEFORE I LEFT HOME.

NO, A CURTSY.

MAKE A LITTLE CURTSY.

HA HA HA HA!

* MAKE A LITTLE CURTSY *

A CURTSY! A LITTLE CURTSY.

HA HA HA HA!

STOP IT! STOP THAT!

I'M NOT HERE TO AMUSE YOU.

THEN, PLEASE, STOP BEING SO FUNNY.

NOW, DOT, PLEASE GIVE IT A TRY.

HOW DO YOU DO?

TEE-HEE. CURTSY LAUGH.

OHH!

LET'S MOVE ON.

AND LIFT!

COMING THROUGH!

UH, WHERE DO YOU WANT THE COUCH, MAC?

[SIGH]

WE'LL WORK ON OUR DICTION.

HOW DO WE AVOID BAD ELOCUTION?

STAY INSIDE DURING A THUNDERSTORM.

NO, NO. ELOCUTION--

DICTION, PRONUNCIATION.

WE'LL WORK ON OUR VOWEL SOUNDS.

LET'S PRONOUNCE THIS.

A-E-I-O-U.

AEIOU. AAEEOOO.

NO, NO!

I WANT THE LETTERS! THE LETTERS!

SCRATCHANSNIFF,

SCRATCHANSNIFF,

SCRATCHANSNIFF.

HEY! DR. OTTO SCRATCHANSNIFF,

YOU MAY HAVE WON $10 MILLION!

ARE YOU MARRIED?

NO, NO, NO!

WITH A TEMPER LIKE THAT, IT'S NO WONDER.

STOP! HALTENZIE!

GET--NO! IN YOUR SEATS!

IF YOU WANT TO GO,

YOU MUST STOP THE GAGS!

OH, ALL RIGHT.

[SIGH]

LET'S PLUNGE AHEAD.

O.K.!

[WAKKO] CANNONBALL!

AAH!

WHEN IT'S TIME TO EAT,

TABLE MANNERS ARE OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE.

I WANT YOU TO SIT UP.

ARF!

WE CAN ALSO PLAY DEAD.

GET UP! GET UP!

WHAT, WITHOUT A TREAT?

YES!

SHAMU WOULDN'T WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS.

BUT SHAMU DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO THE PARTY!

WAS SHE INVITED?

ARGH!

HELLO, FRENCH NURSE!

NEVER MIND.

NOW, WE'LL EAT A PRACTICE MEAL.

I'LL CORRECT YOU AS WE GO ALONG. BEGIN.

[SLURPING]

DON'T USE YOUR HANDS!

USE THE PROPER TOOLS!

STOP THAT! SIT DOWN!

DO YOU WANT TO GO OR NOT?

YES.

AAH!

FINE.

NOW THEN, YOU HAVE A SALAD FORK,

DINNER FORK,

BUTTER KNIFE,

WATER GLASS,

SOUP SPOON,

DINNER KNIFE,

FISH KNIFE,

OYSTER FORK, DESSERT SPOON,

NAPKIN, FINGER BOWL,

DINNER SPOON, SALAD KNIFE,

BREAD PLATE. GOT IT?

I CAN BEAT IT-- FULL HOUSE.

OHH!

YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION!

YOU DIDN'T HEAR ANY OF THAT!

YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ANYTHING!

WELL, SURE WE ARE, DOC.

LET'S REVIEW, SHALL WE?

* WHEN YOU WALK INTO A PARTY *

* IT'S A FORMAL UNIVERSE *

YA!

* SO YOU JUMP UP ON YOUR HOST *

* AND WITH A KISS SAY HELLO, NURSE *

NO!

* REMEMBER THAT GOOD DICTION *

* REFLECTS SO WELL ON YOU *

YA!

* SO PRACTICE ALL YOUR VOWEL SOUNDS *

* BY SAYING AEIOUUU

NO!

* TO USE THE RIGHT UTENSILS *

* ONE OF ETIQUETTE'S DEMANDS *

* SO WE RECOMMEND YOU THROW THEM OUT *

* AND EAT WITH YOUR HANDS

* A SALAD FORK, A DINNER FORK *

* A BUTTER KNIFE, A WATER GLASS *

* A SOUP SPOON, A DINNER KNIFE *

* A FORK FOR EATING PICKLED BASS *

* AN OYSTER FORK, DESSERT SPOON *

* A NAPKIN AND A FINGER BOWL *

* A DINNER SPOON, A SALAD KNIFE *

* A BREAD PLATE FOR YOUR DINNER ROLL *

* WE'VE HEARD THE RULES YOU NEED TO KNOW *

* TO MAKE THAT SOCIAL CLIMB *

* BUT WE'D RATHER SPEND OUR ENERGY *

* ON HAVING A GOOD TIME *

NO, NO, NO! I GIVE UP!

IT CAN'T BE DONE.

KAPUTSKI! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THE PARTY.

NOT GOING TO THE PARTY?

WHY?

WHY? WHY?

BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE POLITE, SPEAK CORRECTLY, OR SAY,

HOW DO YOU DO!

OH, THAT.

YOU MEAN LIKE THIS?

HOW DO YOU DO?

YOU--YOU CAN DO THAT?

SURE!

THEN WHY DO YOU GIVE ME A HARD TIME?

'CAUSE WE LOVE YA!

HEH! WELL, THEN...

LET'S PARTY!

WE'RE AT THE WARNER BROS. LOT

FOR A FANTABULOUS GALA EVENT

AS THE STUDIO WOOS SOME NEW INVESTORS.

RUMOR IS THE STAKES ARE HIGH

WITH $1 BILLION ON THE LINE.

LET'S MEET THE ARRIVING STARS.

OOF!

UH, I'M SORRY, SIR,

BUT THIS IS A BLACK TIE AFFAIR.

FINALLY, WE LANDED.

[ANNOUNCER] THERE'S THADDEUS PLOTZ WITH HIS FOREIGN INVESTORS NOW.

PLEASE TELL OUR HONORED NEW INVESTORS

THIS PARTY IS OUR WAY OF SAYING WELCOME AND...

HEH HEH HEH...

[WESTERN ACCENT] YOU'RE A-O.K., PARTNER!

HA HA HA HA.

YOKO SO, SOSHITE ANAT. WA...

A-O.K., PARTNER.

HEH HEH HEH. AHEM.

DR. SCRATCHANSNIFF

IS ARRIVING WITH THE WARNER BROS.

PLEASE, LET THOSE KIDS BEHAVE. I WANT MY MONEY.

MR. CHAIRMAN,

MAY I PRESENT...

THE WARNER BROS.!

ADDENDUM--

THE WARNER SISTER.

HOW DO YOU DO?

GOKIGEN IKAGA DESUKA?

TOKYO WA TOTEMO OMOSHIROI TOKORO DESU NE.

ZEHI IRASHITE KUDASAI.

MADA IKI BASHO GA AREBA NE.

HOW ABOUT A SMILE? PLEASE, BABY, PLEASE, BABY, PLEASE.

I'M PUTTING OUT A SWIMSUIT CALENDAR.

NOT WHILE I'M EATING!

GOOD WORK, SCRATCHANSNIFF!

I'M AMAZED!

YOU DID IT. THE WARNERS BEHAVED!

NOW GET THEM OUT OF HERE.

WHAT?

BUT THEY DID THEIR PART!

I WANT THEM OUT!

I DON'T HAVE THAT CHECK YET.

GET THEM OUT!

WELL, KIDS, THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ONE NIGHT, EH?

HUH?

I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING OVERTIRED. IT'S GETTING LATE.

IT'S OFF TO BED WITH YOU.

COME ALONG. LET'S GO NIGHTY NIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YEAH.

I'M SORRY. THE CHAIRMAN SAID YOU HAD TO LEAVE.

BUT WE BEHAVED!

YA, I KNOW, AND I'M SORRY.

GO ON UP. GO ON NOW.

NO DINNER WITH MEL GIBSON?

NO DANCING WITH MICHELLE PFEIFFER?

NO CHITCHAT WITH DON KNOTTS?

I KNOW WHEN WE'RE NOT WANTED.

I KNOW WHEN WE SHOULD GO HOME!

NOW IS NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES.

UH, SOME PARTY, HUH?

YOI PAATY DESUNE? TO ITEMASU.

HEH HEH...

HOW DO YOU OPEN THIS THING?

I'M GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS.

HEY, YOU WANT THIS?

O.K., O.K., O.K., O.K., O.K.

HELLO, MR. LETHAL WEAPON!

DID YOU MISS ME?

LOVE YOUR HAIRDO.

COULDN'T MOE AND LARRY MAKE IT? JUST KIDDING.

DO YOU HAVE A FRIEND FOR MY BROTHER HERE?

YOU'VE GOT A NASTY DROOLING PROBLEM!

ARGH!

NOT BAD.

BUT I'VE GOT BETTER.

OH, MONSTER!

[WHIMPERS]

ASOKO NIWARNER BROS. GA IRU.

THE WARNERS?

WHERE'S SCRATCHANSNIFF?

I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE THE BATMOBILE.

I JUST WANT TO SIT IN IT.

I TOLD YOU TO SEND THOSE KIDS HOME!

B-BUT I DID!

WELL, THEY'RE BACK!

YOU'D BETTER HELP ME CATCH THEM! THEY'LL RUIN EVERYTHING!

OHH!

SLAPPY, DID I SHOW YOU THIS?

SAVE IT FOR THE JACK LALANE STORY, BUBULA.

YOU KNOW, YOU REMIND ME OF A VERY MATURE JOHNNY QUEST.

HELLO, KITTY!

WHO ARE YOU?

WE'RE THE WARNER BROS.!

LIKE THE STUDIO?

NOT VERY MUCH.

DID YOU KNOW THERE'S A THING IN YOUR MILK?

THERE THEY ARE!

PUT ME ON YOUR DANCE CARD.

IS THAT BARRY MANILOW?

THERE THEY ARE!

TAKE OVER FOR US.

NO WAY! NO WAY!

WAY!

WHO SAYS STUDIO PARTIES DON'T ROCK?

LET'S SHINDIG, DARLING.

OH--MY--THOSE--

THEY--

AAH!

ANYBODY GOT ANY CHEESE?

GRRR! GRRR!

AAH! AAH! AAH!

WHOA!

WHOA!

WHOA!

WHOA!

WHOA!

WHOA!

WHOA!

RUIN MY STUDIO, WILL YOU?

YOU--YOU--

YOU WHATEVER YOU ARES!

MR. KATO WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHO IS RESPONSIBLE

FOR ALL OF THIS.

IT WAS THEM! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

THEY'RE RESPONSIBLE!

WARNER BROS. NO SEKININ DESU.

GREAT PARTY!

GREAT PARTY!

GREAT PARTY!

GREAT PARTY!

HA HA HA HA!

GREAT PARTY?

OH...OH, OH, YES.

UH, GREAT PARTY!

WE LOVE THE WARNER BROS.!

AND HERE YOU GO.

MR. KATO PRESENTS THE CHECK FOR $1 BILLION.

YOU ARE A-O.K., PARTNER!

C'MON, YOU GUYS.

WE'RE GOING TO PLAY TRUTH OR DARE.

THERE'S A LESSON TO BE LEARNED IN THIS.

YA? WHAT'S THAT?

I HAVE NO IDEA,

BUT IT'S WORTH A BILLION.

THAT'S MY CHECK! GIVE ME THAT!

GIVE ME THAT! THAT'S MINE!

COME BACK HERE WITH MY MONEY!

THAT'S MY CHECK!

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1993 WARNER BROS. ANIMATION, A DIVISION OF TIME-WARNER ENTERTAINMENT CO., L.P.

PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

GOODBYE, NURSE!