Original subtitles

* IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS *

* AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX *

* YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS *

* AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT *

* JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND *

* THE WARNER MOVIE LOT

* THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER *

* WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT

* BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE *

* AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* DOT IS CUTE

* AND YAKKO YAKS

* WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS *

* WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX *

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN

* WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE *

* GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER *

* SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE *

* BUTTONS CHASES MINDY

* WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE

* THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT *

* WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE?

* WE'RE ANIMANIACS *

* WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS *

* WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX *

* THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS *

* WE'RE ANIMANEE *

* TOTALLY INSANE-Y

* HERE'S THE SHOW'S NAMEY *

* ANIMANIACS

* THOSE ARE THE FACTS *

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

THE ITALIAN RENAISSANCE,

A GLORIOUS TIME

OF UNPRECEDENTED ACHIEVEMENT IN THE ARTS.

AND PERHAPS THE ERA'S GREATEST FIGURE

WAS MICHELANGELO BUONARROTI.

I'M AFRAID POPULAR CULTURE

HAS SUCCESSFULLY ERADICATED THE ACTUAL IDENTITIES

OF THE TRUE POETS OF ART.

IN MY OPINION,

THIS STINKS!

HEY, WATCH IT, DUDE.

WHAT THE...

I SHALL DEAL WITH YOU LATER.

NOW FOR A BRIEF REALITY CHECK.

MICHELANGELO WAS A BRILLIANT ARTIST,

NOT A TURTLE.

HIS MOST FAMOUS WORKS INCLUDE,

THE MARBLE MASTERPIECE STATUE OF DAVID,

AND, OF COURSE,

THE CEILING OF THE SISTINE CHAPEL.

YES, THIS, TOO, WAS CREATED

BY THE TORTURED GENIUS MICHELANGELO.

BUT EVEN THIS GREAT ARTIST

NEEDED HELP TO CARRY OUT HIS VISION.

OUT!

OUT, YOU INCOMPETENT FOOLS.

YOU CALL YOURSELVES ARTISTS?

YOU JUST CAN'T GET GOOD HELP THESE DAYS.

[PRAYING]

[GASPS]

AND, YOU! HOW CAN I WORK WITH YOU PEASANTS

KNEELING AND MUMBLING?

BUT, MICHELANGELO,

THIS IS A CHURCH.

OH, THAT EXPLAINS THAT INFERNAL BELL RINGING.

[BELL TOLLS]

SANCTUARY!

SANCTUARY!

QUIET!

[DOOR SLAMS]

I MUST BE FINISHED

WITH MY GREAT MASTERPIECE TONIGHT

BEFORE HIS EMINENCE ARRIVES.

BUT I FIRED ALL MY ASSISTANTS.

I'M ALONE.

ALL ALONE!

[SOBBING]

OH, HEAVENLY MUSE,

SEND ME SOME HELP!

OH, WHOA!

[CRASH]

IT'S YAKKO AND WAKKO AND OUR SISTER DOT.

* IF YOU NEED YOUR CEILING PAINTED *

* COME SEE US

* WE WILL PAINT IT BETTER THAN A GUY NAMED GUS *

* IF IT'S FLAKING AND IT'S PEELING *

* WE WILL RENOVATE YOUR CEILING *

* WE WILL MAKE IT SO APPEALING *

* COME SEE US *

* CEILINGS

* NOTHING MORE THAN CEILINGS **

WE'LL PAINT ANY CEILING FOR 29.95.

HOW DO WE DO IT? NO OVERHEAD.

WHEN WE'RE THROUGH, WE'LL HAVE NOTHING OVERHEAD.

IF YOU HIRE US, YOU'LL HAVE NOTHING IN YOUR HEAD.

WE PAINT CEILINGS, CEILINGS, CEILINGS.

WE DON'T PAINT FLOORS

'CAUSE THEY'RE BENEATH US.

WHO ARE YOU?

YOU HAVE A CEILING THAT NEEDS PAINT.

NICE BUNGALOW. THIS YOUR PLACE?

YOU FOOLS. I'M THE GREAT MICHELANGELO,

AND THIS IS THE SISTINE CHAPEL.

IF YOU'RE SO GREAT,

WHAT'D YOU DO WITH THE OTHER 15 CHAPELS?

OUT! OUT!

HOW DARE YOU!

HUH?

THAT TAKES CARE OF THE COMPETITION.

GENTLEMEN!

START YOUR ROLLERS.

A LITTLE TOUCH-UP WILL DO WONDERS FOR THIS PLACE.

LET ME IN!

LET ME IN!

NOBODY GETS IN TO SEE THE WIZARD.

NOBODY, NOT NO HOW.

I'M MICHELANGELO.

[GASPS]

THE WITCH'S MICHELANGELO?

WELL...

THAT'S A CEILING OF A DIFFERENT COLOR.

[GASPS]

AAAAHH!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BEAUTIFUL CEILING?

YOU LIKE IT?

WE HAD SOME TIME COVERING UP THOSE NAKED PEOPLE.

YOU FOOLS!

YOU'VE RUINED IT.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO HAVE PICTURES.

PICTURES?

HE WANTS PICTURES.

DON'T WORRY, MIKE. OUR MISTAKE.

THIS HASN'T HAPPENED SINCE THAT VENUS DE MILO ARMS FIASCO.

WHY DON'T YOU GO PAINT

THAT MOANING LISA, LEONARDO?

THAT'S DA VINCI.

THAT'S DELIGHTFUL.

THAT'S DE-LOVELY.

BUT WE GOT A CEILING TO PAINT.

PICK OUT A WALLPAPER PATTERN

AND RELAX.

WE'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.

WHEN IT COMES TO CEILINGS,

WE'RE THE TOPS.

AND PICK OUT THE LINOLEUM.

AND DON'T FORGET YOUR UPHOLSTERY AND BATHROOM FIXTURES.

THANK YOU.

DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEAD.

BY THE WAY, NICE TOGA.

THIS LOVELY FLORAL PATTERN

MIGHT BE JUST--

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!

I'LL TEACH THOSE IDIOTS

TO FOOL WITH THE GREAT MICHELANGELO.

NO!

NO!

NO!

[SOBBING]

I'M RUINED.

RUINED!

I KNEW IT.

HE PREFERS THE YOUNG ELVIS.

IT IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THIS.

OH!

MORE NAKED PEOPLE.

I WOULDN'T FLASH THAT AROUND, MIKE.

THIS IS A CHURCH.

HIS EMINENCE IS COMING TONIGHT,

AND I MUST BE FINISHED.

PLEASE, YOU GOT TO HELP ME.

[SOBBING]

YOU EXPECT US POOR, INNOCENT CHILDREN

TO CLIMB UP DANGEROUS SCAFFOLDING

AND PAINT NAKED PEOPLE ALL OVER A CHURCH?

WE'LL DO IT! WE'LL DO IT!

BUT NOT FOR THE SAKE OF ART,

AND NOT FOR MONEY.

WE'RE DOING IT BECAUSE...

WE LIKE PAINTING NAKED PEOPLE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO PAINT HERE.

HIS EMINENCE WILL BE HERE SOON.

IT'S HIS EMINENCE.

HIS EMINENCE!

LOOK, IT'S HIS EMINENCE.

HIS EMINENCE IS COMING.

GADZOOKS, HIS EMINENCE.

DON'T WORRY, MIKE.

WE'LL FINISH UP.

YOUR EMINENCE.

I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD COME.

I'VE WORKED SO HARD TO PLEASE YOU.

I HOPE YOU LIKE MY CEILING.

AAH!

I'M RUINED!

[SOBBING]

I LIKE IT.

HEY, MIKEY, HE LIKES IT.

PAINTING IS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS.

YOU HAVE TO KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.

AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER,

I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A GOODFEATHER.

IF YOU WERE A GOODFEATHER, YOU HAD IT ALL.

YOU WERE A SOMEBODY

IN A NEIGHBORHOOD FULL OF NOBODIES,

LIKE BOBBY AND PESTO.

THOSE GUYS WERE MY HEROES.

HEY, I'M WALKIN' HERE.

YOU WALKIN' WITH ME?

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'?

I DON'T SEE ANYBODY ELSE.

ARE YOU WALKIN' WITH ME?

BOBBY AND PESTO WEREN'T AFRAID

OF NOTHING OR NOBODY.

[GASP] [GASP]

MEOW.

GET OUTTA MY WAY! AAH!

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

EH, COO YOU!

YEAH, RUN, RUN, PUSSYCAT.

MESS WITH US, WILL YOUSE?

COO OFF!

HEH HEH HEH HEH!

CAT DON'T KNOW COO ABOUT WHAT HE'S MESSIN' WITH.

HEY, GOODFEATHERS.

HOW YOU DOIN', BOBBY?

HIYA, PESTO.

LOOK WHAT WE GOT HERE.

WHAT'S WITH YOU?

I'D LIKE TO BECOME A GOODFEATHER.

HEH HEH HEH! HA HA HA HA!

MAKE HIM STOP! HE'S KILLIN' ME!

HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA!

YOU?

A GOODFEATHER?

HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA!

GET HIM OUTTA MY FACE.

[GULP]

[RASPBERRY]

GET OUTTA HERE! BUZZ OFF!

HEH HEH HEH HEH!

GET HIM.

"I WANNA BE A GOODFEATHER."

WE'RE GETTIN' A LOT OF LAUGHS TODAY.

HA HA HA HA! HEH HEH HEH HEH!

FEATHER HEAD! WHAT A BIRD!

HEH HEH HEH HEH! HA HA HA HA!

AHEM.

AW, DON'T LAUGH, GUYS.

I WANNA BE A TOUGH BIRD,

LIKE YOU, PESTO.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU'RE TOUGH.

YOU SAYING I'M A PIECE OF MEAT?

WHAT AM I,

A PLATE OF BUTT MEAT HERE TO AMUSE YOU?

I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

I JUST SAID YOU'RE TOUGH.

I AM TOUGH?

YEAH.

I'M TOUGH?

YEAH, YOU'RE TOUGH.

THAT'S IT!

I'LL SHOW YOU "TOUGH."

HA HA HA HA!

[GASP]

THE GODPIGEON.

PESTO.

PESTO.

HO! PESTO!

WHAT? WHAT'D I DO?

[GASP]

[MUMBLING]

THE GODPIGEON, SOLLY, WANTS TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

UH, I'M SQUIT.

[CHORTLING]

SQUIT? WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS THAT?

IT'S A STUPID ONE, THAT'S WHAT.

SQUIT. HA HA HA!

HEH HEH HEH HEH.

LISTEN, I'LL DO ANYTHING TO BE A GOODFEATHER.

UH...

[MUMBLING]

HE SAYS YOU'RE IN.

ALL RIGHT!

IF YOU COME THROUGH WITH SOME FOOD.

SURE. I'LL GET SOME FOOD. NO PROBLEM.

ALL RIGHT! A BAGEL!

GO FOR IT, KID.

YOU NEED HELP? WE'LL HELP.

EH, FORGET ABOUT IT.

[CLOCK CHIMES]

HE NEEDS HELP. HE NEEDS HELP.

I'M GOING FOR IT.

NO, I'M GOIN' FOR IT!

I GOT IT! I GOT IT!

GO FOR IT.

PIPE DOWN.

GO FOR IT.

I'LL GO FOR IT WHEN I WANNA.

SO, GO FOR IT.

AAH! AAH! AAH!

OW! OHH! OOCH!

YEOW! OUCH! YEUGGH!

OHH... OW... OOH...

I'M DYIN' HERE.

WHAT'S THE PLAN WITH THE BAGEL?

[MAN] TAXI!

TAXI! TAXI!

TAKE YOU ANYWHERE.

14 DOLLAR.

$14! $14! $14!

UH, TAXI?

WHO ORDERED SQUAB UNDER GLASS?

HEY!

AAH!

OHH! OHH! EEUW!

NASTY, AWFUL RATS WITH WINGS!

UGH! YOU FILTHY, STINKING BIRDS!

THIS IS THE PLAN.

WE GET UNDER THE MANHOLE.

THEN WE SNATCH THE BAGEL FROM UNDERNEATH.

THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

YOU'RE A GENIUS, BOBBY.

YEAH, I'M A GENIUS.

YEAH, YOU'RE A SMART BIRD.

WHO ASKED YA?

KEEP YOUR BEAK IN YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

STOP WITH THE KICKING!

WHAT'S WITH THE SIZE 12 UPSIDE THE HEAD?

BADA-BING.

THERE SHE IS.

GET YOUR FLIPPIN' WING OUTTA MY EYE!

QUIT SHOVIN', WILL YA?

SHOVE YOU, YOU SACK OF PILLOW STUFFING!

YOU TWO PIPE DOWN!

GOT IT.

AAH!

AAH! AAH! AAH!

I HAD IT. I HAD IT.

THEN-- BING BANG BOOM!

MY WING'S INTRODUCED TO RADIAL TIRES.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

WHERE'D YOU GET THE UNIFORM?

YOU ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS.

WAIT HERE.

[TWEET]

HAH!

ALL RIGHT, WE DID IT.

YES. PESTO, YOU ARE ONE SWELL BIRD.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I SAID YOU'RE SWELL.

YOU SAYIN' I GOT A BIG HEAD?

WHAT AM I,

A PUFFY ROUND HEAD HERE TO AMUSE YOU?

I SAID YOU'RE SWELL.

I AM SWELL?

YEAH, YOU'RE SWELL.

SWELL?

YEAH.

THAT'S IT!

HERE'S YOUR "SWELL."

I'LL SHOW YOU "SWELL."

PESTO, SQUIT, KNOCK IT OFF.

HEY! YO! HUH?

[TWEET]

[PANTING] UGH. OHH...

GUESS I'M OUT.

THE GODPIGEON.

EH...

[MUMBLING]

[SMACK]

[SMACK]

[MUMBLING]

YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE GODPIGEON'S BLESSING.

YOU'RE IN.

I'M IN! I MADE IT!

[SMACK]

HE SLOBBERED ALL OVER ME!

MAYBE HE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE.

KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?

HA HA HA HA!

CUTE? YOU THINK I'M CUTE?

THAT'S IT!

I'LL SHOW YA "CUTE"!

HERE'S YOUR "CUTE"!

YOU DE-EVOLVED RACK OF DINOSAUR BONES!

AND THAT'S HOW I BECAME A GOODFEATHER.

GEE, YAKKO, I'M CONFUSED.

WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

NO. ABOUT TODAY'S SHOW.

WHAT'S THE MORAL OF THE STORY?

GOOD QUESTION, WAKKO.

TO LEARN THE ANSWER,

LET'S CONSULT THE WHEEL OF MORALITY.

WHEEL OF MORALITY, TURN, TURN, TURN.

TELL US THE LESSON THAT WE SHOULD LEARN.

MORAL 4.

THE MORAL OF TODAY'S STORY IS...

"NEVER ASK WHAT HOT DOGS ARE MADE OF."

IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE NOW.

THANKS FOR CLEARING THAT UP.

MY PLEASURE.

[TWEET]

YIKES! YIKES! YIKES!

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1993 WARNER BROS. ANIMATION, A DIVISION OF TIME-WARNER ENTERTAINMENT CO., L.P.

PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

SET THREE EXTRA PLACES.

WE'RE COMING OVER FOR DINNER!