Original subtitles

Where's he gone?

Slippery little zogger.

He's in there, ain't he?

I've nearly got him.

Grab 'im, Ruff, grab 'im!

[grunts]

I've... Hang on...

Gotcha!

Ow! Little zogger bit me!

I'll gut him!

No! Please! Don't eat me!

[screaming]

[laughing]

[slurps]

[approaching]

[mechanical whirring]

What the zog is you two doing to me best grot!?

Boss! They was gonna eat me!

That so?

We was just...

[grunts]

[blade slashing]

[slams]

[yells]

Don't even think about it!

[whining]

Pathetic.

Really pathetic.

[unclenches]

Zog me, this won't do.

This won't do!

What are you doing?

You yoofs ain't ever gonna be proper boys with fighting the likes of Gibbit here.

Ow!

Proper Orks have proper enemies.

You need to get big and strong.

Orks get big and strong by beating the best,

not by fighting grots, even if you is going to eat them.

Enemies like what boss?

Hmm… hmm...

Oh, like beakees?

[laughing]

Well, yeah, beakees is well hard, but I ain't talking about beakee tinboys.

Oh, pointies then?

They is weak, but they is fast, and well stabby.

But ain't talking about them either.

You want a proper enemy.

Like what the prophet hisself has got.

Listen here, yoofs.

We Runtherds have all the stories.

I'm going tell you about Ghazghkull.

I'm going to tell you about Old Bale Eye.

Yeah, that's right.

Bale Eye, the meanest Ork killer of them all.

Dat's him dere.

A humie?!

[Dursnang] Nah, nah, nah! Not just a humie!

[Dursnang] Yarrick! Old Bale Eye!

[Dursnang] The greatest foe of the great Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka.

[intense music]

[Dursnang] The Beast of Armageddon,

[Dursnang] the conqueror of Piscina, Golgotha and lots of other places besides

[Dursnang] the great prophet,

[Dursnang] the big green, the Goffiest Goff, the stabbiest stabber,

[Dursnang] the fightiest, hardest warlord what has ever been ever, and that is

[Dursnang] a very long time.

[bang]

[Dursnang] And don't you forget it.

[grunts]

[Dursnang] Only if you become a warlord like him,

[Dursnang] can you get an enemy as good as Old Bale Eye.

[Dursnang] He's got an eye that'll burn a hole in ya!

[Dursnang] A claw that'll rip you in half!

[Dursnang] Though he's a skinny runt, he carries a gun what is so big

[Dursnang] and so heavy only humie beakees have them.

[Dursnang] Why, I reckon you couldn't carry it between you,

[Dursnang] but he waves it around like an itty bitty squig.

[Dursnang] And he rides a Battlewagon so big and so shooty,

[Dursnang] an 'undred Flash Gits couldn't take it down.

Cor!

[coughing]

[record scratch]

[Dursnang] Hang on, that comes later.

Y'see, even without all that, he's well fierce.

[orks roaring]

[explosions]

[laughing]

[whirry noises]

Get out of my way!

Gorka! Morka!

Waaagh!

For the Emperor!

[guns shooting]

Ghazghkull nearly had the whole lot, before Yarrick stops him.

So he sends in one of his best and baddest warbosses to sort the old man right out.

Ugulhard was the biggest, toughest, meanest Snakebite in all the horde.

This is gonna be too easy!

[grunts]

[chainsword revving]

[gunshot]

[grunts]

When is you humies gonna learn,

this world is green!

[growls]

[chainsword slashes]

[thuds]

[revving]

Like for like.

Which part are you willing to give to me?

[echoed screaming]

[grunts]

[Dursnang] Bale Eye is so tough that he takes Ugulhard's klaw as his own.

[Dursnang] Humie Mekboys fixed it up good.

[machine engaging]

[Dursnang] Then Bale Eye hears Orks is scared of him,

[Dursnang] and that they is saying he can kill with a single look.

[Dursnang] So he gets a shooty eye put in and all!

[Dursnang] Again and again Ghazghkull comes to take away the humie huts,

[Dursnang] but Yarrick beats them back every time.

[Dursnang] Then some beakee gits shows up and spoils all da fun,

[Dursnang] and that was that.

[Dursnang] Old Ghazghkull has enough, so he goes away.

[Dursnang] But bale eye won't give up.

[Dursnang] No, not him, so chases the prophet across da sky...

[Dursnang] ...to a place the humies call Golgotha.

[Dursnang] There Bale Eye finks he has Ghazghkull caught.

[Dursnang] Only that ain't it, cause Ghazghkull is as cunning as he is brutal.

[explosion]

[Dursnang] It's a trap.

You ain't so tough after all, is you?

[laughing]

Chuck him in with the rest of the humies!

[laughing]

[grunting]

[Dursnang] He was given to us Runtherds,

[Dursnang] And you knows how mean we can be.

[screams]

[Dursnang] And did that finish him?

[Dursnang] Did it zog.

[Dursnang] It weren't long until he was up to his usual tricks.

[intense music]

[flame torches]

For the Emperor!

[all cheering]

[knives stabbing]

[Dursnang] He fights his way up to the space hulk's Dursnang hole.

[explosive blasts]

[Dursnang] Ghazghkull are not there.

[Dursnang] But yarrick kills all da orks he finds.

[Dursnang] And that's with one arm and one eye.

He isn't here, Commissar.

Destroy it.

Destroy everything you can.

[glass breaks]

[bang]

[explosion]

[klaxon ringing]

They're coming!

[guns shooting]

[growls]

[explosions]

For the Emperor.

[grunts]

For the Emperor!

They say that a lot.

So, what, is Bale Eye dead then?

Dead? Dead?

Old Bale Eye?

Nah! It takes a lot more than a cunning ambush,

a good whipping, a battle and a big explosion to kill him off.

[Dursnang] Oh no, he lived alright.

[screams]

You. Humie.

The boss wants to see you.

[all yelling]

[all] Bale Eye! Bale Eye! Bale Eye!

[door sliding]

You.

Get in.

[grunts]

What kind of trick is this?

No trick. [scuffs]

Good enemies is hard to find.

[laughing]

So off he goes, straight back to Golgotha.

[Dursnang] And he takes it right back with some big cannon thing.

[explosion and yelling]

[Dursnang] And then we takes it back.

Waaagh!

[Dursnang] And we all thought that was that.

[Dursnang] The years go by, and Old Bale Eye becomes even Older Bale

[Dursnang] Eye. Meanwhile, Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka chases his dream

of the big Waaagh!

[Dursnang] Across the stars, following the voices in the great green.

[Dursnang] Gork and Mork, the gods,

[Dursnang] They tell him what to do,

and all the time his power grows and grows.

[Dursnang] Until, one day, he comes back.

[lightning crashes]

[thunder booms]

[eerie music]

[grunts]

[glass shatters]

[Dursnang] Ghazghkull has a few new tricks.

[Dursnang] He teleports a bunch of boys onto da planet.

[Dursnang] And he drops massive rocks onto the surface,

[Dursnang] So we orkses can have some forts.

[bang]

[Dursnang] They was impregenernab- impregger unbeatable!

[Dursnang] But not to Old Bale Eye.

[machines blasting]

[laughing]

[explosions and guns firing]

Aim! Fire!

[bomb explosion]

Charge!

So, if you want to get bigger

the proper Orks, with our enemy.

You have to go and pick on something a bit meaner than him.

Why should we's listen to you?

You is old, and stumpy.

With that leg.

Yeah, that leg!

[both laughing]

I bet you's got no proper enemies, like that!

You want to make an enemy out of me?

[both panting]

Thought not.

I'll let you into a secret.

Old Bale Eye is my enemy too.

How'd you think I got this here?

[knocking]

[gun blasts]

[laughing]

[grunts]

[Dursnang] When he comes in, all shouting and shooting,

[Dursnang] His eye blazing.

[Dursnang] I fought him.

[Dursnang] And I lived.

[Dursnang] So don't you ever tell me I ain't got no proper enemies.

He fought Old Bale Eye?

He fought Old Bale Eye!

That's right, boo!

[both screaming]

[footsteps faing]

Thanks boss.

You're alright, Gibbit.

For a grot.

But if you ever let anyone eat you, I'll kill you myself.

-Where is he now? -What?

Old Bale Eye, where is he?

What? Him?

In the big black, right now.

Looking for Ghazghkull, and when he finds him,

oh, when he finds him...

...what a scrap that is going to be.