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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 3 00:04:23,708 --> 00:04:24,541 What? 4 00:04:27,807 --> 00:04:28,640 Hi. 5 00:04:54,050 --> 00:04:54,883 Wait. 6 00:05:10,232 --> 00:05:12,271 What's your name? 7 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,893 Why? 8 00:05:14,893 --> 00:05:17,390 Why do you wanna know my name? 9 00:05:17,390 --> 00:05:20,341 Just so I know what to call you. 10 00:05:20,341 --> 00:05:21,924 When... - When what? 11 00:05:24,070 --> 00:05:27,410 When we talk. That's what I mean. 12 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:31,077 Is that what you wanna do? Talk. 13 00:05:32,356 --> 00:05:33,189 Maybe. 14 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:36,443 - [Unknown] Talking might be nice. 15 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,190 I mean, we could do other things. 16 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,010 Your heart is beating quickly. 17 00:06:41,143 --> 00:06:41,976 Drink. 18 00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,586 Aren't you drinking? 19 00:06:48,481 --> 00:06:49,564 Yes. Later. 20 00:06:53,063 --> 00:06:56,042 Don't I get to order my own drink? 21 00:06:56,042 --> 00:06:56,875 No. 22 00:07:16,398 --> 00:07:17,231 Drink. 23 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,080 I think I'd rather order my own drink. 24 00:07:25,110 --> 00:07:26,153 Drink it. 25 00:07:28,886 --> 00:07:31,083 I, I, I don't know you. 26 00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:33,630 What if... 27 00:07:33,630 --> 00:07:34,713 What if I? 28 00:07:36,897 --> 00:07:38,460 Drugged me? 29 00:07:38,460 --> 00:07:40,893 - I did. - What? 30 00:07:42,090 --> 00:07:42,923 I drugged it. 31 00:07:44,070 --> 00:07:47,823 Something very special. Now drink it. 32 00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:55,893 Wait. Hold on. 33 00:07:58,906 --> 00:08:00,390 Okay. 34 00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:01,443 I'm holding on. 35 00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:05,073 Now listen to me. 36 00:08:06,870 --> 00:08:10,233 You were meant to come here, to find me. 37 00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:16,233 That's all that matters. That's all you were ever born for. 38 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,257 To be here with me right now. 39 00:08:23,348 --> 00:08:24,181 Now drink. 40 00:08:35,538 --> 00:08:36,371 Drink. 41 00:09:00,218 --> 00:09:02,301 What was in that drink? 42 00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:04,777 I was. My blood. 43 00:09:07,675 --> 00:09:08,675 Your what? 44 00:09:13,026 --> 00:09:14,693 How'd you like it? 45 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:17,556 I liked it. 46 00:10:34,084 --> 00:10:35,667 Is something wrong? 47 00:10:36,913 --> 00:10:40,080 Everything's perfect, just like you! 48 00:11:40,429 --> 00:11:44,940 And now it's time for episode 225 49 00:11:44,940 --> 00:11:49,887 of Alexander's "Church of Chills." 50 00:11:51,860 --> 00:11:56,158 Watch in horror, as we reveal ghosts, 51 00:11:57,870 --> 00:12:02,190 monsters, new roots, 52 00:12:02,190 --> 00:12:05,370 and the walking dead. 53 00:12:07,703 --> 00:12:12,060 Welcome to Alexander's "Church of Chills," episode 225. 54 00:12:12,060 --> 00:12:16,740 Alexander Jarvis here, along with my grisly gals, 55 00:12:16,740 --> 00:12:20,643 Edwina and Juniper. 56 00:12:22,003 --> 00:12:24,810 Click like, subscribe. Join our Patreon page. 57 00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:27,120 Smash those buttons. 58 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:28,350 This episode... 59 00:12:28,350 --> 00:12:30,900 Death in the Rat House. 60 00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:32,160 And... 61 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,620 Haunted baby hands in Evermount Hospital. 62 00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:39,019 Ooh, and the man who ate his family. 63 00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,100 With recipes. 64 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:44,530 It's "Church of Chills." 65 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,400 Okay. And cut. 66 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,380 Wanna do another one? 67 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:53,310 Why? 68 00:12:53,310 --> 00:12:57,360 - For safety. - Maybe we can make it better. 69 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:02,360 Seriously, who do I look like to you? Stanley Kubrick. 70 00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:05,700 No, not even slightly. 71 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:07,290 Thank God. 72 00:13:07,290 --> 00:13:09,270 Alright, finish it up. Send it out. 73 00:13:09,270 --> 00:13:10,950 You check the feed. 74 00:13:10,950 --> 00:13:12,813 I'm gonna start work on 226. 75 00:13:15,090 --> 00:13:18,183 After I take a piss, 'cause that's how I roll. 76 00:13:21,780 --> 00:13:22,680 Well, good luck. 77 00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:34,970 Okay. You girls ready? 78 00:13:34,970 --> 00:13:36,870 Yeah? All right, let's get this down. 79 00:13:36,870 --> 00:13:38,730 All right. Okay. 80 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:39,930 Juniper start recording. 81 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,370 Okay. This is "Church of Chills," 82 00:13:44,370 --> 00:13:49,370 episode 226, segment three, prerecord rehearsal. 83 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,600 The vile vivisectionist. 84 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:52,460 And... 85 00:13:56,220 --> 00:13:57,660 The next terrifying tidbit 86 00:13:57,660 --> 00:14:01,387 straight out of Victorian history is called 87 00:14:01,387 --> 00:14:03,053 Dr. Jonas Hope, 88 00:14:03,053 --> 00:14:06,210 the vile vivisectionist of St. Pancras Hospital. 89 00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:08,940 Back then, doctors didn't know that they needed 90 00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:10,980 to wash their hands before surgery. 91 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:13,443 And the most, well-known butcher, 92 00:14:14,910 --> 00:14:17,523 I mean surgeon, was Dr. Jonas Hope. 93 00:14:22,260 --> 00:14:24,660 This guy loved nothing better than spending his days 94 00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:26,970 chopping off poor people's arms and legs. 95 00:14:26,970 --> 00:14:29,043 Well, everybody needs a hobby. 96 00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:33,720 But then one day a patient came in 97 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,270 who had been freshly crushed under a falling brick wall. 98 00:14:36,270 --> 00:14:39,120 - Oops. - I'll say. Ooh. 99 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,640 The doctor proceeds to cut off 100 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,340 both of this poor guy's arms and legs. 101 00:14:44,340 --> 00:14:47,010 Of course, without benefit of anesthesia. 102 00:14:47,010 --> 00:14:48,990 And he survives. 103 00:14:48,990 --> 00:14:52,920 And then a demented light dawns on the doctor. 104 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,050 Okay, hold on. Hold on. 105 00:14:55,050 --> 00:14:56,310 Wait. Cut. 106 00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:57,180 Cut, cut. 107 00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:59,100 Oh, come. Jesus Christ. 108 00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:00,587 Stop recording, Junie. 109 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:07,160 First of all, I am the only one who gets to call cut here. 110 00:15:07,410 --> 00:15:10,172 That's not true. I call cut all the time. 111 00:15:10,172 --> 00:15:13,980 Yeah, yeah, you sure do. 112 00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:16,500 But you're not supposed to. Alright? 113 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,420 The director calls cut, the director. 114 00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:19,710 Me, I'm the director. 115 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:22,350 And guess what? The director calls cut. 116 00:15:22,350 --> 00:15:23,850 Really? Since when? 117 00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:25,380 Since when? Since always. 118 00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:26,213 That's the rule. 119 00:15:26,213 --> 00:15:27,330 The director calls cut. 120 00:15:27,330 --> 00:15:30,480 No, she means since when are you... 121 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:34,890 Is this what you're doing here? 122 00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:37,440 Does this make you the director? 123 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,150 That is what you mean, isn't it Junie? 124 00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:41,310 Well, actually, I was referring 125 00:15:41,310 --> 00:15:44,250 to the general role of a director, but sure. 126 00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:46,140 Yeah. Whatever. Let's go with that. 127 00:15:46,140 --> 00:15:47,280 Okay, well, why don't we go with 128 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,900 my interpretation of your remarks? 129 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:49,860 No, no, no. 130 00:15:49,860 --> 00:15:51,060 How about we go with the fact 131 00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:53,640 that I created the show and my name is on it. 132 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:54,473 Alex! 133 00:15:54,473 --> 00:15:55,467 - And the fact that you two- - Alex! 134 00:15:55,467 --> 00:15:58,170 You work for me, and I am the director, 135 00:15:58,170 --> 00:16:00,540 and I'm the one who gets to call cut. 136 00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,220 - Alex. - What? 137 00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:05,190 Why don't you just ask Eddie why she called cut? 138 00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:07,053 Because I know why Eddie cold cut. 139 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:08,940 - Really? - Yeah. 140 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,261 You wanna bet on that? 141 00:16:12,261 --> 00:16:14,460 What are you willing to bet? 142 00:16:14,460 --> 00:16:15,843 Hmm. Light of my life. 143 00:16:17,940 --> 00:16:20,370 The criterion collection of your Jess Sprango DVDs. 144 00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:21,750 Are you kidding me? I wouldn't bet that. 145 00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,760 Oh! Dammit. 146 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,350 Okay, so how about this? 147 00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:26,840 No more calling cut... 148 00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:31,503 for this episode. 149 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,700 - Deal. - Okay, great. 150 00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:37,620 Wait, what happens if I win? 151 00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:39,573 You girls can have everything I own. 152 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,310 Okay. No, no, wait, that's a trick. 153 00:16:44,310 --> 00:16:46,510 You don't actually own anything, you fucker. 154 00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:49,230 Okay, so what then? 155 00:16:49,230 --> 00:16:51,045 You've gotta be nice to us. 156 00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:56,943 Wait for how long? 157 00:16:57,810 --> 00:16:58,683 Forever. 158 00:16:59,820 --> 00:17:01,170 Seriously. 159 00:17:01,170 --> 00:17:02,043 A week. 160 00:17:06,690 --> 00:17:09,333 Okay, but just hold on a second. Okay. 161 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:24,360 What is this? 162 00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:26,163 That is why Eddie called cut. 163 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:30,153 You are a independent arbiter. 164 00:17:31,530 --> 00:17:33,813 Smile when you call me that, stranger. 165 00:17:36,390 --> 00:17:37,923 You may proceed. 166 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,013 Finally. Thank you. 167 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:46,650 I wanted to point out that there were around two paragraphs 168 00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:48,720 missing about how patients were treated in those wards. 169 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,340 That was all great stuff. 170 00:17:50,340 --> 00:17:52,110 Yeah, yeah. It really is. 171 00:17:52,110 --> 00:17:55,803 As indeed all of your stuff is, Eddie. You're brilliant. 172 00:17:56,700 --> 00:18:00,120 But the show, it's coming in long 173 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,380 and it's gotta come in on time. 174 00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:04,740 And one of us has to be an adult here. Right? 175 00:18:04,740 --> 00:18:08,223 And, and you my love. You don't make cuts. 176 00:18:10,530 --> 00:18:12,213 Junie, please. 177 00:18:17,370 --> 00:18:20,003 Eddie's going to bitch about the ward material being cut. 178 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:22,913 There it is. 179 00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:28,350 So much for having to be nice to you two bitches. 180 00:18:28,350 --> 00:18:31,020 Don't gimme that sourpuss Look, Eddie. 181 00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:36,020 Now let's reset for take two, without any calling cuts. 182 00:19:20,129 --> 00:19:25,129 And now, it's time for Alexander's "Church of Chills." 183 00:19:29,539 --> 00:19:31,350 The next terrifying tidbit, 184 00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:34,170 straight out of Victorian history, is called... 185 00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:37,080 Dr. Jonas Hope, the vile vivisectionist 186 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:38,793 of St. Pancreas Hospital. 187 00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:42,660 See, back then, doctors didn't understand that they needed 188 00:19:42,660 --> 00:19:45,210 to wash their hands before surgery. 189 00:19:45,210 --> 00:19:48,603 And the most infamous butcher, 190 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,010 surgeon, was Dr. Jonah Hope. 191 00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:55,560 This guy loved nothing better than chopping off 192 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:57,330 poor people's arms and legs. 193 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,313 Well, everybody needs a hobby. 194 00:20:00,690 --> 00:20:03,600 One day, a patient had come in who had been crushed 195 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,130 by a falling brick wall. 196 00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:07,593 - Oops. - I'll say. Ooh. 197 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,250 Dr. Jonas proceeded to cut off 198 00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:15,090 both of this poor guy's arms and legs. 199 00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:17,940 Of course, without benefit of anesthesia. 200 00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:19,473 And he survives. 201 00:20:20,490 --> 00:20:23,850 And then, suddenly, 202 00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:27,120 a demented light dawned on the doctor. 203 00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,850 He began to wonder just how much he could remove 204 00:20:29,850 --> 00:20:34,323 from a human being and have that patient survive. 205 00:20:34,323 --> 00:20:36,450 What? 206 00:20:36,450 --> 00:20:41,283 He had plenty of raw material, a hospital full of it. 207 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:44,730 The good doctor selected patients to bring 208 00:20:44,730 --> 00:20:48,630 to his special ward downstairs in his basement 209 00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:52,560 where he conducted his diabolical experiments. 210 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,060 And as for the screams. 211 00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:58,080 Well, there were always screams coming from St. Pancras. 212 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:02,250 But all good things and some horrible ones come to an end. 213 00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:05,100 About 10 years later, some busy bodies 214 00:21:05,100 --> 00:21:06,930 started to ask questions. 215 00:21:06,930 --> 00:21:09,270 And when they went to ask Dr. Hope these questions, 216 00:21:09,270 --> 00:21:12,360 he disappeared. 217 00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:14,490 So they cut the heavy locks of that door 218 00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:16,320 and headed down into that basement. 219 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,873 And what did they find down there? 220 00:21:19,770 --> 00:21:22,860 At first, what they found 221 00:21:22,860 --> 00:21:26,013 didn't seem to be living at all, let alone human. 222 00:21:27,030 --> 00:21:32,030 They more resembled lines of damp leather bags 223 00:21:33,540 --> 00:21:36,360 with tubes coming from them leading to bottles. 224 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,090 Tubes to bring in food and remove waste. 225 00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,950 What were in those sacks? 226 00:21:40,950 --> 00:21:43,560 Just a brain, bits of skull. 227 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:48,540 But no jaw, no tongue, 228 00:21:48,540 --> 00:21:53,538 no eyes, no ears, no skeleton, 229 00:21:53,539 --> 00:21:58,200 no muscles, just a few essential organs laced together. 230 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,450 God knows what those brains were thinking. 231 00:22:00,450 --> 00:22:01,590 Oh. 232 00:22:01,590 --> 00:22:06,590 And the doctor succeeded no less than 33 times. 233 00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,723 But what about Dr. Hope? Where was he? 234 00:22:13,650 --> 00:22:17,100 As it turns out, Dr. Hope had been using a cess pit 235 00:22:17,100 --> 00:22:20,130 to dispose of his discarded limbs. 236 00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:21,750 When searchers closed in, 237 00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:25,020 he'd attempted to use it as an escape route. 238 00:22:25,020 --> 00:22:26,970 He didn't get very far. 239 00:22:26,970 --> 00:22:29,883 They found him down there, what was left of him. 240 00:22:30,990 --> 00:22:32,490 And of course, they couldn't explain 241 00:22:32,490 --> 00:22:34,920 the condition of the doctor's body. 242 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,973 The fact that it appeared as if it had been torn, 243 00:22:40,020 --> 00:22:44,490 beaten, strangled, 244 00:22:44,490 --> 00:22:48,683 and by many groping hands. 245 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,660 Nor could anyone explain 246 00:22:51,660 --> 00:22:54,902 the look of stark terror on Dr. Hope's face. 247 00:23:12,270 --> 00:23:14,430 What's the word that sounds like repugnant. 248 00:23:14,430 --> 00:23:18,710 But it means that you don't want to, um, you know... 249 00:23:20,282 --> 00:23:22,233 Um... - Reprehensible. 250 00:23:24,030 --> 00:23:29,017 Rep-re-hens. I would've thought of it, but thank you. 251 00:24:20,813 --> 00:24:22,396 - Hey, Alex. - What? 252 00:24:23,685 --> 00:24:24,720 Take a look at this. 253 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:25,620 There's a video that's got over 254 00:24:25,620 --> 00:24:28,563 half a million hits since yesterday and growing. 255 00:24:35,357 --> 00:24:37,560 Oh, yeah. Well, good for them. 256 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,270 Yours truly is not in the market 257 00:24:39,270 --> 00:24:42,330 of sending traffic to somebody else's bullshit website. 258 00:24:42,330 --> 00:24:45,230 Yeah. We've got our own bullshit website to worry about. 259 00:24:51,270 --> 00:24:53,733 He's got good taste though. She is cute. 260 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,293 What? We never put up anything that's fake. 261 00:24:59,220 --> 00:25:03,300 Of course we do. Bigfoot, found alien footage. 262 00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:06,780 All that shit is fake. So this, this is different. 263 00:25:06,780 --> 00:25:09,748 It's viral marketing. You can tell. 264 00:25:09,748 --> 00:25:12,693 Oh, okay. Let me just do this. 265 00:25:14,970 --> 00:25:17,070 Yeah, see? There. 266 00:25:17,070 --> 00:25:19,860 How convenient, the name of the dumb ass S and M club 267 00:25:19,860 --> 00:25:21,720 right there for everybody to see. 268 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,404 A drink, a blowjob and a mojito. 269 00:25:25,770 --> 00:25:26,613 How scary. 270 00:25:28,770 --> 00:25:30,150 Have you ever been to one of these clubs, Junie? 271 00:25:30,150 --> 00:25:31,680 Seriously? 272 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,160 It's, it's like trying to go to a nude beach. 273 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,310 You expect "Sports Illustrated," 274 00:25:38,310 --> 00:25:43,267 but you get, well, people like me. 275 00:25:43,267 --> 00:25:45,750 Ew. Yuck. 276 00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:47,670 Yeah, thanks. 277 00:25:47,670 --> 00:25:49,740 The point is, that's fucking staged. 278 00:25:49,740 --> 00:25:52,470 We could use some of those nice juicy hits. 279 00:25:52,470 --> 00:25:53,700 I'm telling you that this sort 280 00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:55,350 of thing flows the other way. 281 00:25:55,350 --> 00:25:58,680 It sucks our viewers to them, not the other way around. 282 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:03,003 Now, sugar pie, honey bunch, can we please get back to work? 283 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,462 And don't give me that sourpuss look. 284 00:27:21,950 --> 00:27:24,287 What? 285 00:27:24,287 --> 00:27:28,170 Eddie, go get Alex. I need you to go get Alex. 286 00:27:28,170 --> 00:27:29,013 He's asleep. 287 00:27:29,850 --> 00:27:30,683 What's going on? 288 00:27:33,570 --> 00:27:35,020 He's asleep. What's going on? 289 00:27:43,698 --> 00:27:44,781 Is this live? 290 00:27:46,740 --> 00:27:47,573 Alex! 291 00:27:49,950 --> 00:27:51,963 Alex, get down here! 292 00:27:53,370 --> 00:27:54,213 Alex. Wake up. 293 00:27:58,230 --> 00:28:00,143 Jesus fucking Christ. 294 00:28:02,308 --> 00:28:05,400 How many fucking times have I told you to stop doing that? 295 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,053 - Be nice. - Fuck! 296 00:28:07,921 --> 00:28:11,947 Oh, what a piece of work is man. 297 00:28:13,380 --> 00:28:18,380 How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, 298 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:22,560 in form and movement, how express 299 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,483 and admirable- - Enough! Enough! 300 00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:27,330 - Keep your- - Enough! 301 00:28:27,330 --> 00:28:28,290 What? 302 00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:29,370 Guys? Guys. 303 00:28:29,370 --> 00:28:30,333 Alex, come here. 304 00:28:31,230 --> 00:28:33,600 Hellfire House is live streaming again. 305 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:37,140 Are you fucking kidding me? That's why you woke me up. 306 00:28:37,140 --> 00:28:39,723 Just watch. 307 00:29:26,397 --> 00:29:28,897 Well, this one's in a hurry. 308 00:29:34,140 --> 00:29:36,590 Must be giving them some sort of hypnotic drug. 309 00:29:37,746 --> 00:29:40,323 Oh, so you don't think it's actually his blood? 310 00:29:44,220 --> 00:29:46,050 Look, I don't know what this is. 311 00:29:46,050 --> 00:29:48,690 So you don't think this is a, a real live, 312 00:29:48,690 --> 00:29:51,450 honest-to-gosh vampire live streaming his killings. 313 00:29:51,450 --> 00:29:53,130 Alex, there doesn't have to be a real live 314 00:29:53,130 --> 00:29:54,450 vampire for killings. 315 00:29:54,450 --> 00:29:56,790 Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense. 316 00:29:56,790 --> 00:29:58,320 All the stuff where he's turning into a vampire, 317 00:29:58,320 --> 00:29:59,340 that's fake. 318 00:29:59,340 --> 00:30:01,380 But all the stuff where he's killing these chicks, 319 00:30:01,380 --> 00:30:03,120 that's real, that's what you believe? 320 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:03,953 Seriously? 321 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,590 I don't know. Alex, there's something about this. 322 00:30:50,070 --> 00:30:50,913 Interesting. 323 00:30:52,590 --> 00:30:57,590 Always surprises. I'm impressed. 324 00:30:57,900 --> 00:31:01,383 Usually when a woman marks herself in this way, 325 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:07,450 the canvas of flesh quite overwhelms the illustrations. 326 00:31:16,505 --> 00:31:17,505 But these... 327 00:31:20,235 --> 00:31:21,652 are quite lovely. 328 00:31:23,430 --> 00:31:24,873 Do you have any tattoos? 329 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:26,970 I'd love to see them. 330 00:31:28,327 --> 00:31:32,003 I'm afraid not. 331 00:31:55,101 --> 00:31:55,934 Wait. 332 00:31:57,180 --> 00:32:00,090 Can, wind it back. 333 00:32:00,090 --> 00:32:01,365 What? 334 00:32:01,365 --> 00:32:02,520 The part where he's b-biting her. Wind it back. 335 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,570 I wanna see what- - Yeah, yeah. Hold on. 336 00:32:10,110 --> 00:32:12,510 - Did you catch it? - Catch what? 337 00:32:12,510 --> 00:32:13,410 Just slide over. 338 00:32:22,110 --> 00:32:24,610 Jesus Christ, Alex, what the fuck? 339 00:32:24,610 --> 00:32:27,300 Yeah, this is getting weird. Even been for you. 340 00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:28,953 Just wait a second, okay. Fuck. 341 00:32:33,210 --> 00:32:34,043 There. 342 00:32:36,180 --> 00:32:37,532 You see it? 343 00:32:37,532 --> 00:32:38,365 See what? 344 00:32:38,365 --> 00:32:39,303 It's her jugular. 345 00:32:40,290 --> 00:32:42,180 No. God, no. 346 00:32:42,180 --> 00:32:43,500 Okay. 347 00:32:43,500 --> 00:32:47,130 The jugular is a vein in the neck right here. 348 00:32:47,130 --> 00:32:48,330 What you're probably thinking of 349 00:32:48,330 --> 00:32:49,890 is the exterior carotid arteries, 350 00:32:49,890 --> 00:32:51,690 which are here and here in the neck. 351 00:32:53,790 --> 00:32:58,083 But this, that's the axillary artery. 352 00:32:59,700 --> 00:33:02,070 It, it, it runs under the collarbone, 353 00:33:02,070 --> 00:33:05,460 provides blood to the shoulder and the arm. 354 00:33:05,460 --> 00:33:07,290 He is never gonna let us forget 355 00:33:07,290 --> 00:33:09,840 that he took a year of med school. 356 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,120 Two and a half. Get it straight. 357 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:15,840 Okay? So whatever the fuck this um, monetary- 358 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,360 Axillary, axillary artery. 359 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:20,970 All right, axillary artery. So? 360 00:33:20,970 --> 00:33:24,570 So? Why bother? 361 00:33:24,570 --> 00:33:26,463 If this is just viral marketing, 362 00:33:28,140 --> 00:33:31,473 why bother with this obscure anatomical detail? 363 00:33:32,310 --> 00:33:34,200 It makes more sense dramatically 364 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:35,500 to just go for the throat. 365 00:33:37,005 --> 00:33:39,570 Okay, so doesn't that mean 366 00:33:39,570 --> 00:33:42,690 that somehow or other this is all real? 367 00:33:46,434 --> 00:33:48,434 Yeah, I guess it does. 368 00:33:52,365 --> 00:33:53,198 Oh fuck. 369 00:33:54,923 --> 00:33:57,756 Okay. So what do we do about it? 370 00:34:00,809 --> 00:34:02,726 We're gonna air it... 371 00:34:04,341 --> 00:34:05,758 in the next show. 372 00:34:43,369 --> 00:34:48,369 And now it's time for Alexander's "Church of Chills." 373 00:35:04,140 --> 00:35:07,170 What is the point of this nonsense? 374 00:35:07,170 --> 00:35:08,790 Just watch, my Lord. 375 00:35:11,103 --> 00:35:12,383 How did this happen? 376 00:35:13,290 --> 00:35:17,793 These dabblers, how did they find us? 377 00:35:17,793 --> 00:35:21,270 I don't know. I can't seem to track them down. 378 00:35:21,270 --> 00:35:23,963 They keep themselves hidden, just as we do. 379 00:35:25,864 --> 00:35:30,864 No, not as we do. 380 00:35:31,906 --> 00:35:36,617 They're close. 381 00:36:03,390 --> 00:36:04,710 In case you were wondering, 382 00:36:04,710 --> 00:36:06,270 the two Carnage House streams, 383 00:36:06,270 --> 00:36:09,120 they're both over 3.5 million hits. 384 00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:10,440 Go figure. 385 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:12,630 Jesus. Take a look at these numbers. 386 00:36:12,630 --> 00:36:16,113 780,000, 790,000. 387 00:36:16,113 --> 00:36:16,950 Well, I scored that high. 388 00:36:16,950 --> 00:36:19,830 That's not them, Mastermind. This is us. 389 00:36:19,830 --> 00:36:20,880 Are you kidding me? 390 00:36:21,762 --> 00:36:25,362 Hey guys, take a look at this. Found another one. 391 00:36:25,362 --> 00:36:26,220 Another one what? 392 00:36:26,220 --> 00:36:29,580 Another Carnage House killing. This one's different. 393 00:36:29,580 --> 00:36:31,050 What do you mean? Different how? 394 00:36:31,050 --> 00:36:32,610 It's old. 395 00:36:32,610 --> 00:36:34,500 It's gotta be the first one. 396 00:36:34,500 --> 00:36:37,740 Look. Okay, see one and two. 397 00:36:37,740 --> 00:36:39,870 They're both over a million hits. 398 00:36:39,870 --> 00:36:42,093 This one, it's only got seven. 399 00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,120 Why would they pull that back? 400 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:48,213 It must be some, some kind of rehearsal. 401 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,390 Maybe it wasn't meant for streaming 402 00:36:51,390 --> 00:36:53,240 or maybe something went wrong or... 403 00:36:57,930 --> 00:37:02,400 Okay, well that seems to be everything on the punch list. 404 00:37:05,310 --> 00:37:06,990 We should check the mirrors. 405 00:37:06,990 --> 00:37:07,923 Of course. 406 00:37:26,227 --> 00:37:29,700 Oh, the new sign isn't in place. 407 00:37:29,700 --> 00:37:32,343 Well, there's something there. Kreur, Kreurheim? 408 00:37:35,220 --> 00:37:37,983 Yes. It's the name of the home. 409 00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:42,573 It's an old word. It means house of blood. 410 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:46,193 Oh! 411 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:50,513 Not my blood. The blood of my family. 412 00:37:54,836 --> 00:37:55,836 All right. 413 00:37:57,767 --> 00:37:58,653 Excuse me. 414 00:38:00,450 --> 00:38:03,120 Okay. Well, it seems that everything's in order. 415 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:04,443 So it seems. 416 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,640 A little rough around the edges, yet, 417 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,010 could see its final form 418 00:38:11,010 --> 00:38:14,373 starting to peek through its chrysalis. 419 00:38:16,470 --> 00:38:18,540 Well, yes, I suppose. 420 00:38:18,540 --> 00:38:23,540 Um. Okay, well, that is everything. 421 00:38:27,695 --> 00:38:30,313 Oh, God. What was I thinking? 422 00:38:32,297 --> 00:38:34,464 You have to sign the deed. 423 00:38:36,899 --> 00:38:39,539 Is this completely necessary? 424 00:38:39,539 --> 00:38:40,372 Yeah. 425 00:38:54,167 --> 00:38:55,167 Great. Okay. 426 00:38:57,245 --> 00:38:59,544 Well, I-I think that's everything then. 427 00:38:59,544 --> 00:39:04,431 So, I'm gonna get going. 428 00:39:04,431 --> 00:39:07,413 Can't be leaving yet. We have to christen the place. 429 00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,723 Oh, no, no, I really, I don't have time for that. 430 00:39:14,070 --> 00:39:14,973 Please. 431 00:39:26,910 --> 00:39:29,090 Uh. Well... 432 00:39:34,289 --> 00:39:36,707 To extraordinary things. 433 00:39:36,707 --> 00:39:39,077 Yeah, to extraordinary things. 434 00:40:10,033 --> 00:40:10,866 Ooh! 435 00:40:12,467 --> 00:40:15,213 Wow. That is some strong stuff. 436 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:19,857 Yes, well, I found it necessary. 437 00:40:21,699 --> 00:40:22,532 Necessary? 438 00:40:22,532 --> 00:40:26,193 Necessary for creating a connection between us. 439 00:40:27,270 --> 00:40:29,550 Don't you feel- - Um. 440 00:40:29,550 --> 00:40:31,380 Connection between us? 441 00:40:31,380 --> 00:40:35,862 Yeah, no, I, I I, well, I, I I really should. 442 00:40:35,862 --> 00:40:37,921 I gotta, I have to go. 443 00:40:37,921 --> 00:40:42,710 Oh, that would be a terrible waste. Wouldn't you agree? 444 00:40:45,478 --> 00:40:46,561 There we are. 445 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,640 So much finer you appear 446 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,553 without those rags wrapped around you. 447 00:40:54,510 --> 00:40:58,020 A sacrifice perfect for the gods. 448 00:40:58,020 --> 00:40:58,853 No. 449 00:40:58,853 --> 00:41:00,873 Ready to be laid on the altar. 450 00:41:03,150 --> 00:41:03,983 No. 451 00:41:05,150 --> 00:41:08,393 Yes. This was all meant to be. 452 00:41:10,460 --> 00:41:11,793 Here we go. - No! 453 00:41:44,478 --> 00:41:45,311 No! No! 454 00:41:51,707 --> 00:41:56,094 No. 455 00:42:09,077 --> 00:42:10,426 Jesus. 456 00:42:10,426 --> 00:42:12,343 Some fucking rehearsal. 457 00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:31,050 Kreurheim. I've heard that name before. 458 00:42:31,050 --> 00:42:35,160 It's some big old stately home or something, isn't it? 459 00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:35,993 Beats me. 460 00:42:53,190 --> 00:42:54,780 You'll find that your machines 461 00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:57,183 no longer work for now. 462 00:42:59,310 --> 00:43:00,143 What the hell. 463 00:43:04,883 --> 00:43:06,303 Fuck. He's right. 464 00:43:06,303 --> 00:43:07,550 Yes, I am. 465 00:43:07,550 --> 00:43:10,170 So do I have your attention now, 466 00:43:10,170 --> 00:43:12,550 Mr. Jarvis, ladies? 467 00:43:15,330 --> 00:43:19,645 Holy shit. Alex, if he knows our names... 468 00:43:19,645 --> 00:43:20,478 Okay. 469 00:43:21,930 --> 00:43:26,250 You have our attention. What can we do for you? 470 00:43:26,250 --> 00:43:28,500 What you can do for me? 471 00:43:28,500 --> 00:43:32,370 I was thinking more along the lines of what you've done 472 00:43:32,370 --> 00:43:37,370 to me by making public what I've chosen to keep private. 473 00:43:38,220 --> 00:43:41,310 I suspect you have no idea to what extent 474 00:43:41,310 --> 00:43:44,580 your thoughtlessness has inconvenienced me. 475 00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:47,223 What do you mean we made public? 476 00:43:48,090 --> 00:43:49,830 You live stream your thing 477 00:43:49,830 --> 00:43:51,580 to hundreds of thousands of people. 478 00:43:52,830 --> 00:43:55,354 Don't light that cigarette. 479 00:43:55,354 --> 00:43:58,874 In fact, I want you to stop smoking altogether. 480 00:43:58,874 --> 00:44:00,925 It's a sordid habit. 481 00:44:00,925 --> 00:44:04,758 A habit of weak men, and it pollutes the body. 482 00:44:05,833 --> 00:44:08,857 - Dude, it's just a cigarette. - Put it down! 483 00:44:14,170 --> 00:44:15,363 Okay? I'm sorry. 484 00:44:17,130 --> 00:44:22,050 Mr. Jarvis, I plant my seeds very cautiously. 485 00:44:22,050 --> 00:44:25,920 That's why no one outside of my circle knows about us. 486 00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:28,560 That is, until now. 487 00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,210 Because of you. 488 00:44:30,210 --> 00:44:32,542 You've chosen to imprudently scatter 489 00:44:32,542 --> 00:44:34,200 those seeds to the wind. 490 00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:37,143 I'm sorry, I-I didn't understand. 491 00:44:38,744 --> 00:44:40,710 I-I don't understand. 492 00:44:40,710 --> 00:44:42,576 I don't suppose you're willing to share 493 00:44:42,576 --> 00:44:45,213 why you want to do this seed scattering. 494 00:45:02,035 --> 00:45:03,592 T-t-to threaten us. 495 00:45:03,592 --> 00:45:07,670 I don't threaten people. 496 00:45:07,670 --> 00:45:10,163 If I considered you a danger to me, 497 00:45:11,075 --> 00:45:11,908 you would never have seen me coming. 498 00:45:14,022 --> 00:45:16,920 Then, I-I don't know what. To, to explain? 499 00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:21,810 Or, um, to, I, I don't know. 500 00:45:21,810 --> 00:45:26,810 Um, I, I guess I'm done. I, I mean, I'm, I'm done guessing. 501 00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:31,433 Renfield. 502 00:45:33,524 --> 00:45:34,357 Junie. What? 503 00:45:34,357 --> 00:45:37,080 I'm afraid I didn't quite catch that young lady. 504 00:45:39,870 --> 00:45:44,157 Renfield is a character in the novel "Dracula." 505 00:45:46,315 --> 00:45:48,285 It's a novel about- - Yes. 506 00:45:48,285 --> 00:45:51,053 I am familiar with the work. 507 00:45:51,053 --> 00:45:54,386 Renfield is, how would you describe him? 508 00:45:56,235 --> 00:46:00,068 The groveling, lunatic servant of the vampire. 509 00:46:00,930 --> 00:46:05,930 I thought that maybe you thought about us like that. 510 00:46:07,885 --> 00:46:10,733 You're not far from wrong, Ms. Coleman. 511 00:46:10,733 --> 00:46:13,950 But upon examination, it's obvious to me 512 00:46:13,950 --> 00:46:17,253 that you're all thoroughly trivial creatures. 513 00:46:18,240 --> 00:46:22,100 Not even useful to me as Renfields, as you put it. 514 00:46:26,190 --> 00:46:31,190 Of course you agree, don't you? 515 00:46:34,313 --> 00:46:36,094 I don't know. 516 00:46:36,094 --> 00:46:38,593 Don't you? 517 00:46:38,593 --> 00:46:39,426 Yes. 518 00:46:40,801 --> 00:46:43,367 Huh. 519 00:46:43,367 --> 00:46:44,733 Yes. I agree. 520 00:46:46,380 --> 00:46:50,450 I mean, I, I can see exactly... 521 00:46:59,460 --> 00:47:02,190 They're gone! 522 00:47:02,190 --> 00:47:03,023 Sunlight. 523 00:47:04,380 --> 00:47:05,823 Shit, that's why he's gone. 524 00:47:06,870 --> 00:47:07,703 For now. 525 00:47:09,419 --> 00:47:14,419 Fuck! 526 00:47:27,871 --> 00:47:28,704 Alex. 527 00:47:30,533 --> 00:47:31,382 Alex. 528 00:47:32,650 --> 00:47:33,780 - What? - So what the fuck 529 00:47:33,780 --> 00:47:35,163 do we do now? 530 00:47:36,889 --> 00:47:37,806 Um. Okay. 531 00:47:39,420 --> 00:47:41,700 I'll tell you what we're gonna do. 532 00:47:41,700 --> 00:47:46,290 The footage of the contractor lady, we air it tonight. 533 00:47:46,290 --> 00:47:48,180 Are you fucking crazy? 534 00:47:48,180 --> 00:47:49,263 Haven't we pissed him off enough? 535 00:47:49,263 --> 00:47:51,540 Well he obviously didn't want it aired. 536 00:47:51,540 --> 00:47:52,860 There's clearly something on there 537 00:47:52,860 --> 00:47:54,240 that he didn't want anyone to see. 538 00:47:54,240 --> 00:47:56,400 So we're gonna let people see it. 539 00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,040 Seriously, Alex, you are fucking mental. 540 00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:00,660 Juniper, what are you doing? 541 00:48:00,660 --> 00:48:03,180 What does it look like I'm doing, Alex? 542 00:48:03,180 --> 00:48:04,290 You really think you're gonna be able 543 00:48:04,290 --> 00:48:06,699 to outrun this guy if he wants to find you? 544 00:48:06,699 --> 00:48:07,650 I think I have a better chance of outrunning him 545 00:48:07,650 --> 00:48:08,853 if I fucking run. 546 00:48:09,780 --> 00:48:10,757 Goddammit, where are my shoes? 547 00:48:10,757 --> 00:48:13,290 - Junie. - Where are my fucking shoes? 548 00:48:13,290 --> 00:48:14,490 Can you please just calm down? 549 00:48:14,490 --> 00:48:15,723 I am calm. 550 00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:21,660 Okay. 551 00:48:21,660 --> 00:48:25,890 Alex, I want my money. I need my money. 552 00:48:25,890 --> 00:48:27,810 Jesus, Junie. We didn't even discuss- 553 00:48:27,810 --> 00:48:29,160 Cut the bullshit. 554 00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:31,410 You always said we were equal partners in this. 555 00:48:31,410 --> 00:48:34,443 We have money. I'm dissolving the partnership. 556 00:48:35,790 --> 00:48:38,280 I need whatever part of the share that is mine. Okay? 557 00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:42,123 So go get that cash box, Alex. I need my money. 558 00:48:43,530 --> 00:48:45,300 Junie, can we just talk. 559 00:48:45,300 --> 00:48:46,263 Talk about what? 560 00:48:47,130 --> 00:48:48,090 Fine, Eddie. Fine. 561 00:48:48,090 --> 00:48:49,890 Yeah, go ahead, talk. Talk about what? 562 00:48:49,890 --> 00:48:52,290 I just don't think that- 563 00:48:52,290 --> 00:48:55,443 That's right. There's nothing to talk about. 564 00:48:57,150 --> 00:48:59,793 Enough. Go get the cash box, Alex. 565 00:49:00,780 --> 00:49:01,613 Alex. 566 00:49:07,380 --> 00:49:08,213 Fine! 567 00:49:16,290 --> 00:49:20,220 Seriously, Alex, you keep the key in the lock? 568 00:49:20,220 --> 00:49:21,053 What do you want from me? 569 00:49:21,053 --> 00:49:23,040 I would've lost it otherwise. - Jesus Christ. Hurry up. 570 00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:23,873 Hey! 571 00:49:25,830 --> 00:49:27,900 I don't have time for this. 572 00:49:27,900 --> 00:49:31,520 We don't have time for this. 573 00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:33,150 Shit. I didn't realize how broke we were. 574 00:49:33,150 --> 00:49:34,773 Seriously? Take a look around. 575 00:49:36,990 --> 00:49:39,220 Fine. Okay. 576 00:49:39,220 --> 00:49:41,520 $850. That's my share. 577 00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:42,403 I'm taking it. 578 00:49:45,071 --> 00:49:46,090 Junie, please. 579 00:49:46,090 --> 00:49:47,431 Junie, wait. 580 00:50:00,340 --> 00:50:01,173 Alex. 581 00:50:09,852 --> 00:50:10,852 Take care. 582 00:50:18,612 --> 00:50:20,112 I love you guys. 583 00:50:22,642 --> 00:50:25,559 Just do yourselves a favor and run. 584 00:50:38,551 --> 00:50:41,639 Eddie. 585 00:50:41,639 --> 00:50:42,472 So? 586 00:50:45,750 --> 00:50:50,750 So, so we do what I fucking said, okay? 587 00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:52,071 We air it tonight 588 00:50:52,071 --> 00:50:53,640 and we try to figure out why the fuck 589 00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:56,730 he didn't want anyone to see it and shit, I don't know. 590 00:50:56,730 --> 00:50:58,110 I don't know what the fuck else. 591 00:50:58,110 --> 00:50:59,670 I'm not fucking Van Helsing, Eddie. 592 00:50:59,670 --> 00:51:01,260 There are no more fucking Van Helsings. 593 00:51:01,260 --> 00:51:02,400 Jesus Christ, Alex. 594 00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:06,243 Why the fuck are you yelling at me? What did I do? 595 00:51:07,656 --> 00:51:08,489 Ah, fuck. 596 00:51:08,489 --> 00:51:09,322 What do you want from me? 597 00:51:09,322 --> 00:51:10,470 I don't know. I don't know. 598 00:51:10,470 --> 00:51:11,303 I'm sorry. Okay. 599 00:51:11,303 --> 00:51:16,303 I know it's not your fault, but I-I'm just, I'm just... 600 00:51:16,415 --> 00:51:18,855 It's this, it's crazy. 601 00:51:59,580 --> 00:52:00,413 Shit. 602 00:52:06,450 --> 00:52:08,190 Jesus Christ. - Shh. 603 00:52:08,190 --> 00:52:09,390 Reading room. 604 00:52:09,390 --> 00:52:13,950 Oh, well, sorry, but you scared the... 605 00:52:13,950 --> 00:52:16,140 I mean, you scared me to death. 606 00:52:16,140 --> 00:52:18,663 I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to creep up on you. 607 00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:21,513 It's, it's okay. 608 00:52:22,620 --> 00:52:26,250 I was just wondering if I might be able to help with this. 609 00:52:26,250 --> 00:52:29,523 I, I'm not sure. 610 00:52:31,830 --> 00:52:33,750 Oh, I'm so sorry. 611 00:52:33,750 --> 00:52:37,020 It's always getting tangled up in, in everything. 612 00:52:37,020 --> 00:52:38,770 Here, let me. - That's, it's okay. 613 00:52:42,005 --> 00:52:43,922 - Hmm. Kreurheim? - Yes. 614 00:52:45,870 --> 00:52:48,153 - I'm trying to find- - Local history. Hmm. 615 00:52:50,130 --> 00:52:51,540 I'm sorry? 616 00:52:51,540 --> 00:52:52,790 I think I can help you. 617 00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:57,153 - Really? - Yes. I'll be back. 618 00:53:21,990 --> 00:53:22,823 With this. 619 00:53:24,937 --> 00:53:27,210 "Kreurheim Vampire Cults." 620 00:53:27,210 --> 00:53:29,403 Holy shit it's here. God! 621 00:53:31,260 --> 00:53:33,840 Seriously, thanks. I would've never found this on my own. 622 00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:34,673 I swear. 623 00:53:34,673 --> 00:53:36,963 You are a fantastic librarian. 624 00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:39,770 Who said I was a librarian? 625 00:53:46,190 --> 00:53:50,773 Christ, why does stuff like this always happen to me? 626 00:54:40,031 --> 00:54:42,198 Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. 627 00:54:44,122 --> 00:54:44,955 Come on. 628 00:54:53,049 --> 00:54:55,878 Come on, you piece of shit. Come on. 629 00:54:55,878 --> 00:54:57,128 Ow! God dammit! 630 00:54:59,535 --> 00:55:00,756 Oh, please forgive me. 631 00:55:00,756 --> 00:55:02,875 Please forgive me. Okay. 632 00:55:04,007 --> 00:55:04,840 Okay. 633 00:57:12,588 --> 00:57:16,838 Hey Alex, I love what you've done with the place. 634 00:57:18,059 --> 00:57:22,726 What do you got? 635 00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:31,953 That's the place. 636 00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:35,040 It was built in 1880. 637 00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:37,010 Whatever he's doing now, he was trying 638 00:57:37,010 --> 00:57:39,090 to do the same thing back then. 639 00:57:39,090 --> 00:57:41,040 He just couldn't make it work. 640 00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:42,693 Wait, what, what is this book? 641 00:57:43,957 --> 00:57:45,450 "Death Cults Through the Ages." 642 00:57:45,450 --> 00:57:49,023 Let me read this to you. This is a quote, 643 00:57:51,187 --> 00:57:56,000 "SO speaks Senor Arturo Valenor of the family Valenor. 644 00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:59,040 'I have labored in the shadows for a very long time 645 00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:01,560 to bring forth a great change in the world. 646 00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:04,560 A change that will be forged in passion and blood. 647 00:58:04,560 --> 00:58:06,990 When the final sacrifice is performed 648 00:58:06,990 --> 00:58:09,968 before the great convocation of my followers, 649 00:58:09,968 --> 00:58:12,447 the world of the living will be overthrown 650 00:58:12,447 --> 00:58:15,110 and the Lord of the eternal night will rule.'" 651 00:58:16,140 --> 00:58:17,583 Here, listen to this. 652 00:58:19,267 --> 00:58:22,020 "Multiple reports, screams in the night 653 00:58:22,020 --> 00:58:25,386 and horrible odors coming from the Kreurheim mansion." 654 00:58:25,386 --> 00:58:26,640 Kreurheim mansion? 655 00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:28,080 Right, that's that big closed up place 656 00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:29,190 out by Regency Park. 657 00:58:29,190 --> 00:58:30,877 It's right here in town. 658 00:58:30,877 --> 00:58:33,771 "Police conducted a raid in the summer of 1892. 659 00:58:33,771 --> 00:58:36,970 In the basement, they found the torn, decayed 660 00:58:38,272 --> 00:58:39,810 and partially devoured remains 661 00:58:39,810 --> 00:58:41,913 of over 200 women and children. 662 00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:46,170 Evidence suggested unholy ritualistic acts 663 00:58:46,170 --> 00:58:48,807 conducted both before and after death." 664 00:58:50,460 --> 00:58:51,293 Lovely. 665 00:58:52,597 --> 00:58:55,653 "No trace was ever found of Valenor or his followers. 666 00:58:56,490 --> 00:59:00,030 Ownership of the mansion was passed to a single relative 667 00:59:00,030 --> 00:59:02,280 who has sealed up the property. 668 00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:04,980 It has been maintained unoccupied for over a century." 669 00:59:07,410 --> 00:59:08,493 Alex, look at this. 670 00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:12,960 Don't you see, Alex? 671 00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:16,410 It's them. All three of them. 672 00:59:16,410 --> 00:59:18,210 They haven't aged. 673 00:59:18,210 --> 00:59:20,220 Yeah. Yeah. I see. 674 00:59:20,220 --> 00:59:21,510 This is what he's trying do. 675 00:59:21,510 --> 00:59:25,593 It's what he's been trying to do since, since back then. 676 00:59:27,210 --> 00:59:29,910 This motherfucker isn't just looking for blood and tits. 677 00:59:29,910 --> 00:59:32,700 He's trying to destroy the whole fucking world. 678 00:59:32,700 --> 00:59:34,350 I mean, he hasn't had much luck though, right? 679 00:59:34,350 --> 00:59:37,110 Because it's been, what, like a hundred and something years? 680 00:59:37,110 --> 00:59:38,820 Goddammit. Don't you get it? 681 00:59:38,820 --> 00:59:40,920 They didn't have live streaming back then. 682 00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:43,500 Don't you see what he's doing? 683 00:59:44,820 --> 00:59:48,513 He needs some critical mass. 684 00:59:50,430 --> 00:59:52,500 That's what all this is about. 685 00:59:52,500 --> 00:59:55,470 Look, see. 686 00:59:55,470 --> 00:59:57,363 The stars, just right. 687 00:59:58,860 --> 01:00:01,380 The number of worshipers, just right. 688 01:00:01,380 --> 01:00:03,150 The sacrifices, just right. 689 01:00:03,150 --> 01:00:04,987 The rituals, just- - No, no. 690 01:00:09,090 --> 01:00:12,843 Jesus Christ, Alex, Don't give me that look. 691 01:00:14,550 --> 01:00:16,950 Don't tell me you suddenly don't believe it. 692 01:00:16,950 --> 01:00:19,140 This is what's happening right now. 693 01:00:19,140 --> 01:00:20,280 Okay. Right. 694 01:00:20,280 --> 01:00:22,470 So what are we supposed to do? 695 01:00:22,470 --> 01:00:23,500 Go over there and stake him through the heart. 696 01:00:23,500 --> 01:00:26,250 They, they would kill us in two seconds. 697 01:00:26,250 --> 01:00:27,360 We can't just let this- 698 01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:29,640 Okay, let's, let's just, let's just think about this. 699 01:00:29,640 --> 01:00:30,473 Okay? 700 01:00:33,030 --> 01:00:35,970 He didn't want anybody to know this stuff, right? 701 01:00:35,970 --> 01:00:37,230 To, to know who he is, 702 01:00:37,230 --> 01:00:39,810 where he lives, what he's trying to do. 703 01:00:39,810 --> 01:00:43,713 So we do like I said, we put it up and let people see it. 704 01:00:44,694 --> 01:00:46,560 And, and, and maybe, you know, maybe that, 705 01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:47,640 that screws the whole thing up. 706 01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:48,780 It blows up the ritual. 707 01:00:48,780 --> 01:00:50,400 - Alex. - No, no. Come on. 708 01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:52,590 We gotta get this streaming before sunset. 709 01:00:52,590 --> 01:00:54,776 Jesus, I don't know if we have the time. 710 01:00:54,776 --> 01:00:55,609 It's all- - It doesn't matter. 711 01:00:55,609 --> 01:00:56,442 It's fine. 712 01:00:56,442 --> 01:00:58,223 Come on, we'll get it streaming and just let it go. Come on. 713 01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:23,840 And now it's time for Alexander's "Church of Chills." 714 01:01:28,290 --> 01:01:30,810 This is an emergency broadcast. 715 01:01:30,810 --> 01:01:35,810 Listen, this is Kreurheim, built in the 1800s. 716 01:01:36,750 --> 01:01:41,040 It has been the scene of nightmares and murders. 717 01:01:41,040 --> 01:01:42,960 It still is. 718 01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,360 This man is Arturo Valenor, 719 01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:50,360 only he's not just a man, he's something else. 720 01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:55,770 One of the undead, a vampire who feeds on human blood. 721 01:01:55,770 --> 01:01:58,410 He's there right now at Kreurheim. 722 01:01:58,410 --> 01:02:00,330 And what he was trying to do back then, 723 01:02:00,330 --> 01:02:02,850 he is still trying to do right now. 724 01:02:02,850 --> 01:02:04,050 He's trying to destroy 725 01:02:04,050 --> 01:02:06,780 the whole, fucking- 726 01:02:06,780 --> 01:02:07,613 What the hell? 727 01:02:08,490 --> 01:02:11,430 Alex the feed. What happened to the feed? 728 01:02:11,430 --> 01:02:12,453 How should I know. 729 01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:15,473 It's him. 730 01:02:16,680 --> 01:02:19,020 Some of you no doubt have been tuning in 731 01:02:19,020 --> 01:02:23,130 to Mr. Jarvis's "Church of Chills." 732 01:02:23,130 --> 01:02:25,893 We here at Kreurheim have been enjoying it all evening. 733 01:02:26,910 --> 01:02:30,093 But now we have other business to attend to. 734 01:02:31,380 --> 01:02:34,650 I'm sure all of you accept our invitation 735 01:02:34,650 --> 01:02:37,863 to take part in this ritual. 736 01:02:55,740 --> 01:02:56,907 Jesus. 737 01:02:56,907 --> 01:02:58,650 Alex, do you know how many people 738 01:02:58,650 --> 01:03:00,000 are watching this right now? 739 01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:00,833 Christ, Eddie. 740 01:03:00,833 --> 01:03:03,048 I don't think right now is the time for that. 741 01:03:03,048 --> 01:03:03,965 185, 187. 742 01:03:05,067 --> 01:03:06,570 And that's just us. 743 01:03:06,570 --> 01:03:07,473 What the fuck? 744 01:03:08,761 --> 01:03:11,700 I mean, how did he even know that we were gonna be stream... 745 01:03:11,700 --> 01:03:13,230 What are the numbers on his stream? 746 01:03:13,230 --> 01:03:15,543 No good. He's locked us out again. 747 01:03:55,980 --> 01:04:00,210 Oh shit. The sacrifice, fuck, it's Junie. 748 01:04:00,210 --> 01:04:03,342 Oh my god. Fuck, what do we do? 749 01:04:03,342 --> 01:04:04,175 Oh my God. 750 01:04:05,312 --> 01:04:09,052 Fuck! You fucking leave her alone, you asshole! 751 01:04:47,644 --> 01:04:48,477 Oh my God. 752 01:04:50,602 --> 01:04:52,007 What do you want from us? 753 01:04:52,007 --> 01:04:53,424 What do I want? 754 01:04:55,549 --> 01:04:59,108 What does a cat want with a mouse? 755 01:04:59,108 --> 01:05:01,865 Come on. 756 01:05:12,613 --> 01:05:14,241 Ah! 757 01:05:26,794 --> 01:05:27,794 He's gone. 758 01:05:54,054 --> 01:05:56,054 What a terrible shame. 759 01:05:57,843 --> 01:05:59,260 So pale and pure. 760 01:06:02,627 --> 01:06:05,877 Oh, if I had the time to truly enjoy... 761 01:06:09,979 --> 01:06:12,229 their untouchable delights. 762 01:06:16,104 --> 01:06:18,957 So are these. 763 01:06:18,957 --> 01:06:23,957 Aargh! 764 01:06:56,170 --> 01:06:58,587 There's someone down there. 765 01:07:48,090 --> 01:07:49,257 Who's there? 766 01:07:57,518 --> 01:07:58,351 What? 767 01:07:59,406 --> 01:08:01,356 I thought I told you to stop smoking. 768 01:08:05,310 --> 01:08:06,230 I said... 769 01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:09,833 Put it out. 770 01:08:12,030 --> 01:08:12,863 Junie. 771 01:08:18,340 --> 01:08:22,143 Junie what happened? Are you okay? 772 01:08:22,143 --> 01:08:23,493 Yes. I'm quite all right. 773 01:08:25,260 --> 01:08:27,260 Everything turned out just as I planned. 774 01:08:29,430 --> 01:08:30,780 I was worried for some time 775 01:08:30,780 --> 01:08:34,263 that you two fools wouldn't play your appointed roles, 776 01:08:36,060 --> 01:08:37,263 but in the end, 777 01:08:38,760 --> 01:08:42,027 you perform the final sacrifice admirably. 778 01:08:44,435 --> 01:08:46,708 I don't understand. 779 01:08:46,708 --> 01:08:48,866 Wh-what's going on. 780 01:08:48,866 --> 01:08:51,533 Yes, I was worried about that. 781 01:08:52,492 --> 01:08:55,594 Alex, you idiot. It's not Junie. 782 01:08:55,594 --> 01:08:56,427 What? 783 01:09:11,572 --> 01:09:15,239 Listen to them, the children of the night, 784 01:09:17,644 --> 01:09:19,773 what music they make. 51219

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