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1
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This programme contains strong
language and adult humour
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00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,239
You're a waste of a life
in Sports Depot.
3
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:06,879
You mean I'm wasting my life
at Sports Depot.
4
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,039
You are in the top five most
beautiful men in Peterborough.
5
00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:10,359
She's shit on my shoe.
6
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,119
Fuck you, Allen. You little prick!
7
00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:14,839
I think Mogs just quit.
8
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,799
Congrats, Russell! For what?
9
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,199
A new leader has arisen.
10
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,399
Team leader.
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00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,559
So who's in charge now, then?
I'm in charge.
12
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,440
- SHE SCOFFS
- Yeah, good one.
13
00:00:23,443 --> 00:00:24,640
"In charge".
14
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,440
Air Max 95,
in the original colourway.
15
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:33,319
I said I'd never break these
bad boys out the box till
16
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:38,600
I got married or had a baby,
but something even better happened.
17
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,799
I was made manager at Sports Depot.
18
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,759
It's one of those things you never
think will happen to you -
19
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:52,319
life actually going well, for once.
20
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,399
What are you doing?
Are you on heat or something?
21
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:57,639
What...? We're not baboons,
Russell, fucking hell...
22
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:58,719
Yeah, no, it's a fair point.
23
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:02,359
I am in a position of responsibility
now, don't want to get cancelled.
24
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,679
You know he's got, like,
70% of his body covered in tattoos.
25
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,239
Oh, does he?
Well, I'm 90% covered in hair -
26
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,799
it doesn't mean I'm going to
open a shop about it.
27
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,199
He's so focused and driven and...
28
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,039
My career's looking good now too.
29
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:16,439
I'll probably get a pay rise.
30
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:18,079
Yeah, nice.
31
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:20,159
All right, see ya. See you la...
32
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,559
What the fuck are you doing?
What? I'm saying bye. Jesus.
33
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,959
Get on your way before you try
and finger me or something.
34
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,000
Yeah, see ya.
35
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,560
SHE SIGHS
36
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,119
I can't tell if it's the bubbles
in these trainers,
37
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,599
or the promotion,
but I'm walking on air.
38
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:41,399
These people,
they know what I'm about.
39
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,159
I'm a high street elder.
40
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,559
To them, I'm basically
a black belt in retail.
41
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:48,199
All right, guys?
42
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,599
OK, we're not...
You're not moving again. Yeah.
43
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:54,039
Cool if I just try and...?
Nah. No worries, man.
44
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,839
Please, Gs?
Nope.
45
00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,560
I'll just go round the back.
See you in a bit, guys
46
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,999
If I'd have known it was this
good to be manager,
47
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,639
I'd have started as one
in the first place.
48
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,959
HE CLEARS THROAT
49
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,799
We're doing The Floor Is Lava.
50
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,279
We're basically trying to get
from one side of the store to
51
00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:31,879
the other side of the store,
but without touching the floor.
52
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:32,920
Guys...
53
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,319
..this is brilliant. Really good.
54
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,159
Great team-building exercise.
55
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,520
I'm proud of you.
56
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:43,799
It's a privilege to work here.
57
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,999
The floor is lava,
the floor is lava...
58
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,119
You got this.
59
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,439
The floor is lava,
the floor is lava...
60
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:50,759
Go for it.
61
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:54,479
Right, playtime is over!
62
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,079
What are you doing?
What are you doing?! Back to work!
63
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:58,399
Argh!
64
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,199
HE SQUEALS
65
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,879
Ooh! This is a place of work,
people!
66
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,999
I don't know why Mogs was ever
stressed out, to be honest.
67
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,319
It's so much easier back
here than on the shop floor.
68
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,559
I might just stay back here all day.
69
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,880
- Yeah.
- PHONE RINGS
70
00:03:13,883 --> 00:03:16,199
Oh, the phone's ringing. Sorry.
71
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:20,840
Hello? And the manager of
Sports Depot, Peterborough is...
72
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,039
..Mogs!
73
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,639
Russell! Russell!
74
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,359
Yes. There he is,
the man with a plan.
75
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:32,119
Everything all right?
Yeah, everything is, uh, rosy.
76
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,199
Yeah? Good, glad to hear.
77
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,839
So, you've sorted out your
shoplifting problem, then, yeah?
78
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,999
Shoplifting? Yeah, you know,
those little robbers
79
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,239
that hang around outside,
I want them gone, Russell.
80
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,079
Oh, the lads.
81
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:43,559
Yeah...
82
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,919
I'd rather they were in here
just doing a little
83
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:49,759
bit of shoplifting than, you know,
somewhere else doing God knows what.
84
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,359
It's an honour that they have
chosen Sports Depot.
85
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:54,839
HE CLICKS FINGERS,
MOUTHS
86
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,959
And to be honest, in a sense,
they are part of the wider family.
87
00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,199
Yeah, yeah.
88
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,839
Listen, I hate, uh, hate to do this,
89
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,759
but any more losses are going
to come out of staff wages.
90
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,359
So, it's up to you to stop them.
91
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,679
Why... Why don't we get,
like, a security guard?
92
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,119
Russell, you said it yourself,
you guys are a family, OK?
93
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,919
And a family doesn't farm
out its problems to outsiders.
94
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,559
And the last one got
properly fucked up. Do you remember?
95
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,479
That's sort of
what I'm worried about.
96
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:24,239
If, you know, we did approach them,
it could get a bit,
97
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:25,639
sort of, aggressive.
98
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,479
Whoa, I don't want any of my staff
getting physical. Yeah.
99
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,359
So, just confront them. Just
confront them? But not physically.
100
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,800
But not in a physical... Just stop
them. Yeah. Stop them. As a family.
101
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,599
How is this fair?
The CEO has two a Lamborghinis -
102
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,159
that's in case he drunk crashes
one -
103
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,039
and they want to take
pennies off us?
104
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:44,199
Paigons!
105
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,679
Yeah, tell me about it. I literally
just did, bro. What you gonna do?
106
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,360
Yeah, yeah, no, I'm just thinking.
107
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,879
We need to work out
what we're going to do.
108
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,439
We are talking about you,
naughty bastards.
109
00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,159
Hey, hey, don't...
Hey, don't wind them up.
110
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,239
In some countries,
they cut off hands.
111
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:03,759
I'm just saying.
112
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,839
We are definitely not
cutting off hands, all right?
113
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,399
I don't have many
rules as a manager,
114
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,919
I'm actually quite relaxed,
but that is one of them.
115
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,639
None of you are getting hurt,
not under my watch.
116
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,519
Well, I'm not getting paid less just
cos you're a weak little man.
117
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,999
We have to do something. OK.
118
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:23,479
Mulenga, you know how good managers
sort of pass on responsibility?
119
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,599
I'm just thinking maybe, I don't
know if you
120
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,199
sort of could have a word?
121
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:32,439
Like, man, listen, I train to look
like this so I don't have to fight.
122
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:33,639
Obviously I can fight.
123
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,599
You lot know about my MMA days,
elbow man in their eyes.
124
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,679
But that's behind me, you know?
I'm on a strict preparation.
125
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,359
I left London to get away from that.
126
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,679
No, you moved here with girl.
And that.
127
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,599
Well, I'm not going to roll over
and wait to be fucked.
128
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,799
We're doing it my way.
129
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,079
I like to look someone in the eye
when they're fucking me.
130
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:53,240
Oh...
131
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,799
OK, even if I've got moments left
to live
132
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,479
and I'm literally begging, do not
give it back, OK?
133
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,999
I guess, but I don't know why you
put yourself through this, though.
134
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,919
Because I need to
save 5K for Australia
135
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,359
and my biggest outgoing
expense is ganj, so...
136
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:10,639
This ain't the kind of place for me
137
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,319
to be at full capacity, but...
Well...
138
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,199
Yeah, I get why you didn't
give it to me,
139
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,879
because I'm a manager
and I've got a lot on my plate.
140
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:19,639
Yeah, no, it's because
if I give it to you, there is a zero
141
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:20,959
chance you'd stand up to me.
142
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,639
But I'm a manager and I have a lot
of responsibility now.
143
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,239
Fine. Thank you.
144
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,959
Actually, before we start, can
I just have it back quickly? Ah, no.
145
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,959
We haven't started yet.
We have started.
146
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,039
I literally swear.
Swear on someone's lie.
147
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:35,319
I swear on Princess Diana.
She's dead. OK. Clare Balding.
148
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,440
Clare Balding? Yeah.
149
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:42,520
OK, but if she drops dead,
that's on you. OK. She will.
150
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,679
See? Poor Clare Balding.
151
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,359
JEMMA, ON RADIO:
We have a cat in the bag!
152
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,119
What do you mean you've got
a cat in the bag?
153
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,919
All right, I'm coming down.
154
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,840
Yeah. Who's Clare Balding?
155
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,359
Let me out, you freak!
156
00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,959
I said don't touch anyone.
I didn't.
157
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:04,399
I saw him go in and held the door.
His mates ran away.
158
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:08,159
Well, it is a human right not to get
locked in Sports Depot, to be fair.
159
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,199
What about my human right
to a full wage?
160
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,439
What if he needs a piss?
I could do with a piss, actually.
161
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,359
The next piss you'll be doing
is behind bars
162
00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:17,439
with it tucked between your legs cos
you'll be the new prison bitch.
163
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,519
All right, everyone, just calm down,
all right? I'll talk to him.
164
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,359
The time for talking's over,
Russell.
165
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:23,799
We should be chopping off hands.
166
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,719
Or maybe I should call
George Allen and tell him
167
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,399
you haven't got
the minerals for the job?
168
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,999
I'll deal with this, all right?
Unless, Mulenga, you fancy it?
169
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,560
Man... Yeah, no worries.
I'll... I'll take this one.
170
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,120
Take this for protection, OK?
171
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:39,040
Are you ready? Yeah.
172
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:42,639
Oh, my God, it's like prize reveal,
innit?
173
00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,079
It's like we've won a teenager.
174
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,759
What's your name, son?
AJ.
175
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,199
Talk to me, AJ.
176
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,479
What's gone wrong in your life
that brought you here?
177
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,159
What, to Sports Depot?
178
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,159
Poor bastard. It's not your fault.
179
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,879
You can't see a life beyond crime.
180
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,559
Edgars, what's that called?
181
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:02,319
A systemic societal issue.
Yeah.
182
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:04,999
Listen, can we just call the police,
cos I can't be fucked with this.
183
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,519
What, and put another young
man in the system?
184
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,719
No, that's not the sort of manager
I want to be.
185
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,759
Well, if you won't do it,
I'm phoning the police.
186
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,039
Yeah, he's mugging us off.
187
00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:14,559
No police, all right?
188
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,599
Look how pathetic he is.
We deal with this in-house.
189
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:18,959
I was like him once.
190
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:22,159
Handsome, full of dreams,
lost in the concrete jungle.
191
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,439
I get it, it's a code.
192
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,440
And do you know what saved me?
Retail.
193
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,120
Maybe that can save you.
194
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,639
♪ A new fantastic point of view
195
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:37,079
♪ No-one to tell us no
196
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,239
♪ Or where to go
197
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,919
♪ Say we're only dreaming
198
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:45,719
♪ A whole new world. ♪
199
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,199
SHE SIGHS
200
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:51,399
It's literally, like, my first day
sober at Sports Depot, you know?
201
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,359
It's like the lights have
come up at the club.
202
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,199
Has it always been this shit?
Yeah.
203
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,719
Well, it's really disappointing.
204
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,839
We've got, like,
eight hours left as well.
205
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,879
How do you get through the day?
206
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,279
OK, this is going to sound
controversial, yeah,
207
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:06,839
but you know
if you just do your job...
208
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,599
Oh, yeah.
..it goes a little bit quicker.
209
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,079
You know, serving people and that.
210
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,519
Well, I reckon I could serve people,
you know?
211
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,919
She looks nice.
212
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,919
Oh, not that mad old bird.
She always gets lost in here.
213
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:21,239
Listen, I told you, stop coming
in here. I told you! All right!
214
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,920
This is my place of week! So?
215
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,239
OFF-KEY:
♪ A whole new world with you. ♪
216
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,879
These lot think I live with my girl,
not my nan, yeah?
217
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,959
I'm supposed to be a bad man.
218
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:34,439
You? Bad man?
219
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,039
Aw! Why you laughing?!
220
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,759
You know I'm the baddest man
in the mosque hands down.
221
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,319
Temper your temper!
222
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,160
We need to talk about tonight.
223
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,559
I've got a man coming round
for a date.
224
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:48,879
Another date?!
It's the third date, actually.
225
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:52,439
We're having dinner at mine
and things might get a bit...
226
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,799
..messy.
227
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,399
That's enough, yeah?
That's disgusting.
228
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,879
What?! I meant sex!
Argh!
229
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,319
I love having you live with me,
230
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:04,359
but why haven't you got
a place of your own by now?
231
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,999
You're a big boy, all grown-up.
I can't have my own place.
232
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,279
Do you know how hard it is to buy
a house right now, yeah?
233
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:12,239
It's not like back in your day, when
you just get a cereal box cut-out
234
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,639
and, boom, you have a mortgage.
SHE SCOFFS
235
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,399
The disrespect!
236
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,240
Save your money!
237
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,879
You know what, it's cool, yeah.
238
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,719
I've got bare gal I can call up.
I just, you know, link all my tings.
239
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,079
That's more like it. That's my boy!
240
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:29,479
And I'll see you tomorrow.
Not too early.
241
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,879
I might want a rematch, you know?
242
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,919
Rematch?! Who even says that?!
243
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,440
You're not in the WWF, Nan.
244
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:39,799
This is brilliant.
245
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,119
Yeah, you're right,
it is brilliant.
246
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,639
No, no, no, I'm genuinely excited
about
247
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,600
how much you're fucking this all up.
248
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:49,599
Get out.
249
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,839
I look like a right prick.
You can't make me work here.
250
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:53,260
HE SHUSHES
251
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:54,679
OK? This is your chance.
252
00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:59,239
As a high street elder, it is my
duty to look out for the youngers,
253
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,079
and also a chance for you
to pay off your debt.
254
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,439
I didn't take anything.
255
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:05,320
RUSSELL CLICKS HIS FINGERS
Edgars, show him.
256
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,239
Robbing bastard.
257
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:12,279
Exactly. You are a robbing bastard,
OK, respectfully.
258
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:16,039
But this - big opportunity for you,
a day working at Sports Depot -
259
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,600
could be the start of your retail
career. Or I call the police.
260
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,799
Simple. What, wait - so are you
asking me or making me? I...
261
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,479
Why can't it be both?
262
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:25,800
Edgars...
263
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,039
..tell him what's good about
working here.
264
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,399
Working is convenient.
265
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,639
No, like, you know, like,
266
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,199
sense of family and...
267
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,559
No, I have family. OK.
268
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,399
There's... there's commission.
269
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:39,760
Basic commission.
270
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,479
Commission,
working here can make him bank.
271
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,239
Listen, if I wanted to make bank
I just work with my brother, yeah?
272
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,879
He's a drug dealer. Is he hiring?
273
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,199
Hey. What do you mean, is he hiring?
274
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,999
Weird guy. Weird,
weird sense of humour.
275
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,040
Look.
276
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,680
Now just do it.
277
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,360
Yeah.
278
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,700
SHE SIGHS
279
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,279
So busy.
280
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:17,600
Have I missed lunch?
281
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:19,799
It's 10am.
282
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,119
10am?
283
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,160
Fucking hell.
284
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:24,840
Oh, that's mental.
285
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,919
That's Mulenga, he's an ex-roadman.
286
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,599
Turned his life around working
in Sports Depot, am I right, baby?
287
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:40,999
Yeah, proper inspiration.
288
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,919
Now I'm lucky enough to say
he's my best mate.
289
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,199
You've never met outside work,
have you?
290
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,519
No, it's more an in work thing.
Why don't we?
291
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,039
I told you, I was busy that day,
man.
292
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,319
I got bare ventures
and consistent galdem.
293
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:53,959
Yeah, you know how it is.
294
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,879
Do you know what
I was thinking about earlier?
295
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,959
Do you remember that time that guy
came in drinking a Tango
296
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,679
and I said, "Hey, man, no food or
drink allowed in the shop"?
297
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:06,519
And he got proper shirty?
And then, guess what. What?
298
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:11,079
He tripped up, right, spilled
his drink everywhere, didn't he?
299
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,679
Yeah, man, dropped his Tango.
300
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:15,199
And then, you said, erm, you said,
301
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,480
"You've been Tangoed."
302
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,999
Oh, don't. You had to be there.
303
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,679
He probably was there.
Stealing shit.
304
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,399
He knows the deal. It's not fun to
work here. Just accept that.
305
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,879
He doesn't really think that.
306
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:31,919
Do you think that?
307
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,559
That's pretty sick boxing gear.
308
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:34,719
Oh...
RUSSELL CLAPS ONCE
309
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:38,039
..yes. Good way to let out some
aggression in a positive
310
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:39,759
sort of way. Do you want to have
a go?
311
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,759
Nah. Come on. Don the pads.
312
00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:43,199
Who needs to put them on in boxing?
313
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:47,279
Yes, AJ as well, Anthony Joshua.
Do you like him? Yeah.
314
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,919
Does a lot of adverts.
God, what are these?
315
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:52,720
6oz. All right, are you ready?
316
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,679
Left, right, left.
317
00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:57,959
Double left. One big right.
318
00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,439
Right, you punch that man now. All
right, check this out then.
319
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,119
Fight, man.
320
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,279
Fuck. Fuck. Mate, are you all right?
321
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:05,479
Are you OK?
322
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,359
Right, take these off, man. Argh!
323
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:10,720
AJ, mate. I was joking.
Argh, my nose.
324
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,639
I'm so done with this.
I just want to go home.
325
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:18,439
You've just got to sit tight, mate.
Wait for that swelling to go down.
326
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,279
Amazing.
327
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:23,399
George Allen says get rid
of shoplifters and don't touch them.
328
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,079
You give one a job and batter him.
It was an accident.
329
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,759
He didn't matter me,
it was just a lucky punch.
330
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:32,639
That's why I don't don the gloves.
Too powerful.
331
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:36,479
I'm bound to be manager after this
fuck-up. I might even keep you on.
332
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:41,319
Make you my little bitch, even get
you a badge that just says, "bitch".
333
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,319
Russell, I beg you, just let the
little man go.
334
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:44,559
What if he's got concussion?
335
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,119
My dad's going to kill me if
he thinks I've been fighting again.
336
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,039
Hold on, your dad? What, are you
from a...
337
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,639
You're not from a... tasty family,
are you?
338
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,359
Yeah. I looked him up in the high
street shoplifters network.
339
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,879
AJ Brady.
340
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,999
Brady family. Rough as fuck.
341
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,079
Shit. Hold on. It says here symptoms
of concussion.
342
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,719
Dizziness, moodiness.
343
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,759
He has been well moody, to be fair.
344
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:08,439
Yeah, because you punched me
in the face, you dickhead. See?
345
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,839
What are we going to do?
346
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,319
You're going to call George Allen
and tell him I resign,
347
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,519
put Jemma in charge
and then you're going to go home
348
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,880
and wait for AJ's family to come
and kill you.
349
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,119
They... they wouldn't...
350
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,279
..murder, would they?
351
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,639
It's just... I'm just going to go and
get some air, guys.
352
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:26,760
OK, you're in charge.
353
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:31,880
Can I...
354
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,240
Oh, right, you're in there.
I didn't know you were in there.
355
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,079
Is it me or is time going, like,
well slow?
356
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:47,079
It's been on this number for, like,
a whole minute now. Yeah.
357
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,679
Have you ever been concussed? Yeah.
358
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:52,039
OK, that's good, because you turned
out all right. Mm-hm.
359
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,479
What are you doing in here, anyway?
360
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,599
Just hiding from customers, you
know. Mm.
361
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,039
Keep asking me stuff though.
Yeah, they do that.
362
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,919
The thing is it's never a question
I've got something to say on,
363
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:04,359
like climate change or the
Israel Palestine problem. I know.
364
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:08,759
It's always, "Were are the socks?"
You know? "Where are the hats?"
365
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,319
And, "Why aren't you wearing shoes?"
366
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,279
And they know fuck-all about
trainers.
367
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:13,959
It's sickening, it's embarrassing.
368
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:17,039
Oh, did you know that you're stress
sweating again, Russ?
369
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,079
It's really hot.
370
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:21,159
Do you want me to leave you in the
chillout room to yourself maybe?
371
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:22,639
Yes, please. Yeah that's fine.
372
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,159
Thank you. Wish me luck. Good luck.
373
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,520
Thank you.
374
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,759
Positive, smiling, don't need to
smoke.
375
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:33,879
Oh, hi.
376
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,639
Er, do you want this in another
size?
377
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,119
No, it's full of pee.
378
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:41,239
Oh, OK. Is it your pee?
Oh, I don't know why I asked that.
379
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:42,879
Erm...
380
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,719
Hi, do you do these in a blue?
381
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:47,559
Oh, erm, what I can do is I can
look out the back for you.
382
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,360
If it helps. Great. Thank you.
383
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,240
You're creeping me out. Sorry, man.
384
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,840
Just watching it heal.
385
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:11,759
I think it is getting better.
Oh, God, it's getting worse, that.
386
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,799
That is proper disgusting. Shit.
387
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,359
Wait, aren't you meant to be
on tills?
388
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:18,799
Oh, yeah. Just wanted to see if you
wanted to go for a smoke?
389
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,279
That's all. You said you were
off it.
390
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,159
No, I am, but I just like to
know it's there.
391
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,199
And I just spent 20 minutes
listening to a guy
392
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,439
talk about tennis rackets
and then a kid pissed into a shoe
393
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,279
so I need something
394
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,719
and it might help with the pain,
don't you think?
395
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,520
Will it? Yeah, I think it will.
396
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,199
Yeah. OK. I see what you're doing.
397
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:43,839
You want to hang-out with the big
dog. Me. Honestly.
398
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,999
I think I'm really getting through
to him. Mm.
399
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,519
All right, come on then.
400
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:53,199
Come on. So, what sort of tennis
racket did he go for them?
401
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,439
Oh, no, I told him
we don't sell tennis rackets.
402
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,719
No, we do, they're, erm, they're
upstairs by the...
403
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,560
Not today, Russell.
404
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,519
♪ Show me how you. ♪
405
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,400
See, AJ, this is retail life.
406
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,279
Your dad won't actually kill us,
would he?
407
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:12,919
Kill you, you mean?
408
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,959
AJ COUGHS
409
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,999
Do you always look that green?
My lungs feel a little bit funny.
410
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,639
He's such a lightweight. Yeah.
411
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,519
I thought
you said your brother was a dealer.
412
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,039
Yeah, he is. It's just he doesn't
let me smoke because
413
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,360
obviously I'm only 14, so.
You're 14?
414
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,400
We're fucked.
415
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,800
The floor is lava.
416
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,960
♪ Oh-oh-oh. ♪
417
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,399
You gave drugs to an actual child.
418
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,039
Yeah, we're
definitely going to jail.
419
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,239
Do you reckon it's
one of those crimes where
420
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,919
you go to the cells for one night?
421
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,999
Like, tonight, maybe?
422
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,720
Aw, I'm so jealous you're high.
423
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,720
RADIO: Russell,
your mum's in the shop. What?
424
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,199
She didn't say she was coming.
425
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,279
Erm, OK, tell her I'll be down, yep.
426
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,319
I'm going to... I'll be back.
427
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:09,960
Don't let him leave this office.
428
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,599
Mum, I'm coming!
429
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,040
Please don't leave!
430
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:24,039
Never seen you move so fast. Where's
my mum? Oh, she's never coming back.
431
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,159
I just wanted you to see this.
432
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:27,560
Thought it might upset you.
433
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,599
Noted. OK.
434
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,159
Blade Man.
435
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,599
All right, Russ?
Oh, my God, this is so awkward.
436
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,519
I'll see you later.
437
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,119
Why you even chatting to him?
438
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,239
He's wearing a waistcoat,
he's not even a magician.
439
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,959
You know is real name's Jeremy?
440
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,199
Russell, I'm horny.
441
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,959
What? Yeah. Take me.
442
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:59,439
But you said that
I'm in a position of responsibility
443
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:00,759
and not to act like a baboon.
444
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:02,959
Who gives a shit what I said,
because I am horny,
445
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,879
so do you want to stand here
talking about it
446
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,239
or do you want to take me
into the Sports Depot changing room?
447
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,839
Yeah? Yeah. Jesus Christ.
448
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:13,239
Yo, where's AJ? Shit.
Quick, quick, quick. Who's AJ?
449
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:14,679
Hey, where's AJ, bro?
450
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,599
Yeah, you fucking like that, don't
you? You cocky little simpleton.
451
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,679
Yeah, what are we doing?
Dirty talking. Oh, OK.
452
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,799
Can you just be nice,
though, please?
453
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,399
It's just, I'm quite stressed out...
Sh, sh. Shut the fuck up.
454
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:29,119
Quiet, boy. Sure. It's just, maybe
this would be better in a bedroom?
455
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:32,199
It's just a crack head shoots up
in here. This is a modern romance.
456
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,640
And I keep thinking about this
14-year-old kid.
457
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,239
I mean, it's weird
but we can work with it.
458
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,479
Did you look at the flats I sent I
sent you?
459
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:45,319
Yeah, but is it in yen or something?
Cos there's hella zeros.
460
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,999
It's a bit too much for a one-bed,
still.
461
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,479
No, these are market rate,
I'm afraid. A'ight, cool.
462
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,919
How about, you see one of then
empty flats you've got?
463
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:54,199
We do a little try-before-you-buy
kind of deal.
464
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,839
I'm sorry, that's not a thing.
A'ight, get back to me, yeah?
465
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,759
All right, cool,
thank you, thank you.
466
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,519
Are you, like, a proper London
roadman, yeah? Yeah, bro.
467
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:04,599
Can't you tell by my swag?
That's sick. Yeah, man.
468
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,319
Obviously, I can tell you bare
stories about the ends and that.
469
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:08,959
The hood. Tonight, if you want.
470
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:12,719
If you got like a spare room or
something. Bunk bed? I'm 14.
471
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,119
Yeah, that's kind of weird.
472
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,039
Can you not tell anyone that
I asked you that?
473
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,639
Mate, if you were making paper,
you'd have your own house.
474
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:22,599
I got my own house. I just live with
my nan... My girl at the moment.
475
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,279
It's a little bit complicated.
If you're moist, man.
476
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,279
Who you calling moist, bruv?
477
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:28,599
You're wet, bro!
478
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,599
You look like Gary Lineker before
he was on Match Of The Day.
479
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,479
Fuck this, I ain't baby-sitting
this wasteman, bruv.
480
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:38,359
Hey, wait, wait, just let me out!
Yeah, let you out. Watch.
481
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:39,400
Pussio!
482
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,199
Turns out I do actually need to
smoke weed to work here,
483
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:55,039
so can have my stuff back? There's
no way, you are not quitter. I am.
484
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:58,239
I'm cool with that.
Listen, mind over matter.
485
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,999
You have to manifest Australia.
Yeah...
486
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,039
You never get what do you
want from life
487
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,039
unless you take
control of your destiny.
488
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,039
Wait, are you
still talking about me?
489
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,319
A'ight, listen,
let me do a little calculation.
490
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:14,319
On Sports Depot wages... no weed...
Yeah.
491
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:18,999
..it would take you... six years to
save for Australia. Six years?
492
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,519
Yeah, six years.
493
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,160
♪ You come from a land down under
494
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,920
♪ Where women glow and men plunder
495
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,600
♪ Can't you hear,
can't you hear the thunder?
496
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:38,479
♪ You better run,
you better take cover... ♪
497
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:43,160
Sorry about that, it was a bit
quick. Normally I last longer.
498
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,559
That's completely consensual.
499
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,239
We're looking for a kid
called AJ.
500
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,399
Oh, thank God for that, yeah.
501
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,679
No, AJ, yep. Sure, good kid.
502
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,359
We do not want to press charges,
just a bit shoplifting.
503
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:02,239
Actually, AJ's the one he called us.
504
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:06,159
He says he's being
held against his will. Oh, right.
505
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:07,839
Do you want to come to the office?
506
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,879
That's where we're hol...
That's where he is.
507
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,679
Not holding him,
it's just where he's being... kept.
508
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:19,399
In, like, a non... sort
of weird way.
509
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:20,679
Do you know what I mean?
510
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:21,720
Yeah. Yeah.
511
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:27,319
You detained a 14-year-old,
made him work for free,
512
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,839
punched him and drugged him and
then detained him again?
513
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,519
Well, now you put it like that,
it does sound quite bad.
514
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:39,279
Right. I don't know what crime
this counts as, but,
515
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,639
whatever it is,
don't do it again, yeah?
516
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:42,680
Yeah, sorry.
517
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,839
I was just trying to look
out for you, man.
518
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,639
He's going to tell everyone
you're a nonce.
519
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,359
Don't tell anyone I'm a nonce.
520
00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:54,879
Everyone hates nonces.
521
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,279
I hate nonces, I do.
522
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,559
Exactly what a nonce would say.
Shut up.
523
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,999
Give me a puffer jacket
and three pairs of trainers
524
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,279
and then I won't tell anybody you're
a nonce. OK, here's another deal.
525
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,999
You work here full-time,
you work hard,
526
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,519
you make something of yourself,
you could be like me.
527
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,719
A nonce. Shut up.
528
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,240
And I won't abandon you.
529
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,639
Well, he'll think twice
about shoplifting here again.
530
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,439
Yeah, because you straight up
gave him 200 quid's worth of stock.
531
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,399
And some valuable life lessons.
532
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,400
Can I have a word? Yeah, sure.
533
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:37,960
This could work.
534
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,319
Mate, Amber just told me you want
to join the game at mine tonight.
535
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:43,639
She what? What game?
536
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:47,639
All this time and you wanted to,
you should have just said.
537
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,079
You're going to have to stay,
though, we go late.
538
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:51,359
Like, midnight late.
539
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:54,799
The Technation lads are going to
love this. It's going to be mental.
540
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:55,999
See you down there.
541
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,439
Technation lads?
542
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:58,480
Fuck, no.
543
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,679
You remember that mad
old bird from earlier, yeah?
544
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,519
She's just dropped this for you.
545
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,559
And she said that she hopes you've
found somewhere to stay tonight
546
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,279
while she's getting laid.
Oh, my God.
547
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,039
Your nan's a shagger. Respect.
548
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,039
I can't believe I'm
staying at Russell's.
549
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,399
No, just manifest.
550
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:22,440
Manifest.
551
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,719
Proper shame I couldn't convince AJ
that retail was the one,
552
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:30,399
but I'm a high street elder.
553
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,519
I tried to bring him into the tribe
but actually,
554
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,919
some people are wrong'uns who won't
fit into the tribe,
555
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,320
so I had to reject him.
556
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,559
Plus, George Allen's happy cos
the lads have moved onto FootZone.
557
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,119
A job well done in the end.
558
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:47,719
Although the manager is
a certified nonce down there.
559
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:51,039
Best of all, me and Mulenga are
finally doing something after work.
560
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,159
Always invite your staff back
to yours, basically. They love it.
561
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,359
My man Stogbar, the Bog Lord,
562
00:25:56,360 --> 00:26:00,399
running through the goblins' ends,
you get me? Man like, brrap, brrap!
563
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,559
Bare crossbow +2 in the head, yeah?
564
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,679
Everyone in the Forgotten Realm...
565
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:06,039
..dead.
566
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:07,279
Wow.
567
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,719
You lot ain't bad.
You can leave now.
568
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,920
Yeah, I look like Wonder Woman, bro.
So good, man. Yeah, yeah.
569
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,399
Happy anniversary! Aargh!
570
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,159
Ow! You going to make it up to me?
Take me out tonight?
571
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,279
This dinner's going to
clean me right out.
572
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,199
When they ask you,
do you want to see the specials,
573
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,359
later on, you might even get
to see HER specials.
574
00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:28,639
Maybe dish of the day might be
shaved truffle.
575
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,479
What are you doing? Give me the box!
Let go!
576
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:32,279
I'm getting fired.
He is out of there.
577
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,319
He's coming to watch me fire him,
the psycho.
578
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,039
Big dog. Woof-woof! Woof-woof.
579
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:39,079
Now I will show you exactly
what a shaved truffle is.
580
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:40,800
Let the game begin!
581
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,080
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