Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,079
This programme contains
strong language and adult humour.
2
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:06,639
The thing you should know about me
is that I have a photographic memory,
3
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,639
but it's... like,
it's only for trainers.
4
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:10,519
I can tell you where I was
and what I was doing
5
00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:12,280
the first time I wore every pair.
6
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,199
Reebok Iversons,
7
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,480
my first house party.
8
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:22,120
- Whoa, easy, mate.
- HE SPLUTTERS
9
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,400
Don't make love to it.
10
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:25,720
You all right?
11
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,559
I've... I've not been sick.
12
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,480
Adidas Superstars aka Shell Toes.
13
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,119
I remember thinking...
14
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,639
It's a bit weird.
15
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,999
You going on holiday with my PE
teacher, Mum.
16
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,839
Russell, babe, how many times?
17
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,599
It's not a happy holiday.
18
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,079
It's a permanent one...
19
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:45,239
..from your dad.
20
00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:47,920
Yeah, but why does Mrs Dunthorpe
need a holiday from Dad?
21
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:52,960
Bye, Mum.
22
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:55,520
ENGINE STARTS
23
00:00:55,521 --> 00:00:56,560
Bye, Miss!
24
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,599
Yeezy Boost 700s, Wave Runners.
25
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,400
This one's easy, cos it's... today.
26
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:05,799
It's just...
27
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,839
..maybe if you don't find the heels
comfortable, you shouldn't wear them.
28
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:10,839
Most men wouldn't need to be asked,
Russell.
29
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,479
They'd just offer up their trainers.
30
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,799
Yeah, fair point.
31
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,679
It's just, I didn't ever
really realise
32
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,680
- how much glass there is down here.
- SHE SIGHS
33
00:01:19,683 --> 00:01:20,839
Russell!
34
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,599
Just man up, yeah?
35
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:23,840
Man up.
36
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,199
No, this, um...
37
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,439
..this isn't working.
38
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,159
Yeah. No, you're right.
39
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,719
You're kind of walking in them
funny and it's giving...
40
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,719
No, no, no, no. I mean us.
Oh.
41
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,839
We're just not a match, you and me,
42
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,959
cos I'm a medical professional
under a lot of pressure.
43
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,119
At Specsavers? Uh...
44
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,239
And you're...
45
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,879
Look, I'll put it gently, because
you're a sensitive idiot,
46
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,199
but you're a waste of a life
in Sports Depot.
47
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,080
You... you mean I'm wasting my life
at Sports Depot?
48
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,040
It's over, Russell.
49
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,200
Can I get my trainers back?
50
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,279
There's this saying that the eyes
are the gateway to the soul,
51
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,959
but they should have said trainers.
52
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,839
Every pair tells a story.
53
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:11,919
And these are m...
54
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,079
Well, yeah. This is mine, basically.
55
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,200
OK? Thanks.
56
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,359
You wouldn't catch me dead
57
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,199
in any of the shit trainers
that we sell at Sports Depot.
58
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:43,239
That would literally destroy
decades of reputation.
59
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,999
Like I always say, "Don't look
someone in the eyes,
60
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,799
"look at them in the trainers."
61
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,119
Take my friend Mulenga.
62
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:50,439
He wears Air Force Ones.
63
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,039
They look good, feel good,
64
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:53,199
just like Mulenga.
65
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,159
Not... just... not in a weird way.
66
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,519
If you want to lose weight,
you've got to gain it first.
67
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:58,639
Really?
68
00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:00,439
Accumulate to accumulate, bruv.
69
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,799
I run a lickle personal training
business on the side.
70
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,039
But you look... I look what?
71
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,959
What are you trying to say?
I look fat, bro?
72
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,479
Trust the process.
Right now, I'm just bulking.
73
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,119
Amber wears Vans, which says,
74
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,439
"Minimal effort," or
"Given up on life."
75
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,519
Depends what way you look at it,
really.
76
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,639
Just wanted to know where the golf
clubs are.
77
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:18,199
Can you point me in their direction?
78
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,759
Nah, I wish I was better at my job
too, but I'm just not,
79
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,199
do you know what I mean?
80
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:23,520
I'm literally a mystery shopper.
81
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,799
Golf clubs? Yeah. Uh...
82
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,200
Upstairs,
by all the weird camping shit.
83
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,839
Oh, you're not going to believe
what's happened to me.
84
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,839
Clare's binned you off again?
85
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,959
Yeah, how do you...
Oh, it's just your face.
86
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,519
I'm on a come-down at work
and you look more gutted than me.
87
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,279
You lot weren't even doing the ting,
so...
88
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,719
Doesn't mean we weren't doing stuff.
We were doing bits.
89
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:45,959
Tantric. Love it.
90
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,679
Well, she'd do this one
thing, right,
91
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,479
where she'd lie on the bed...
92
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,959
..fiddling. Gee!
You are such a player, bro.
93
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,639
And then where are you in all
of this?
94
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,439
So, I'm face down on the floor,
or on the corner of the bed
95
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,359
where she can't see,
because if I get in her eyeline,
96
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:00,799
throws her off, dries her up.
97
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,399
I feel like you need a proper
connection, though, with someone,
98
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,119
like me and that guy I made out
with at the Halloween rave?
99
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,879
Do you think... he's the one?
100
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,319
I think maybe, like, definitely.
101
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,600
I can't wait to see his face
tonight.
102
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,199
You haven't... you haven't seen
his face?
103
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,039
Nah, it's fancy dress, innit?
104
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,999
He was Batman, I was a slutty alien.
105
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,559
Tale as old as time.
106
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,359
Right.
107
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:25,399
Edgars is brand-new to the family.
108
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,359
He wears Karrimors
and basketball shorts,
109
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,639
which, to my knowledge, I don't
think has been done before.
110
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,919
Yeah, so it's really hard
to get a read on him.
111
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,639
Still, nice guy.
112
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,679
She was like, "Man up."
113
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,760
I just, sort of, wanted a final
opinion, really.
114
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,480
If you want my opinion, Russell...
115
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,559
You want it? Yeah.
116
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:52,399
Remind me of the problem.
I'm engrossed in Mills and Boons.
117
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,639
OK. So, she said it was over,
118
00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,279
but, sort of, like...
119
00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:58,359
..like a question, you know? Like...
120
00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,599
.."It's over?"
121
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,599
Like, went up at the end.
This woman is not good for you.
122
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,839
Yeah. Really? Yeah.
123
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:07,520
You are in the top five most
beautiful men in Peterborough.
124
00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,719
She's shit on my shoe.
125
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,759
But, you know, everyone says
that she's out of my league.
126
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,279
You can't trust people, Russell.
127
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:17,559
Yeah.
128
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,919
All right, well, good chat.
Thanks for that.
129
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,959
Lots to think about.
130
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,480
Appreciate your wisdom.
131
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:27,999
Jemma wears red Reebok Cardi Bs.
132
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,399
Red is a warning in the animal
kingdom
133
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,719
and Cardi B is simply terrifying.
134
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:34,919
What's this?
135
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,119
Dunno.
136
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,359
You had your lip waxed?
137
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:41,320
This is the face of someone who's
made eight sales in an hour.
138
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,639
Why are you in sliders?
139
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:45,799
They're not allowed.
140
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,159
You're not the manager.
141
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,359
Neither are you and you've been
here eight years.
142
00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:50,999
I've only been here three months.
143
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,559
Nine years.
144
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:53,799
Thank you.
145
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,279
All right, yeah, you win.
146
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,479
All right, what do you want?
Pockets, please.
147
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,399
I only just got in.
148
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,799
Staff members must be searched.
149
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,599
I don't enjoy this any more than
you do.
150
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,360
Feels like you definitely do.
151
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,639
PATTING
152
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,839
Good boy.
RADIO: Russell. My office, now.
153
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:13,640
I need you to go to the office.
154
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,719
Don't make me tell you again.
Yeah, I'm going.
155
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:17,879
And not because you said.
156
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,519
Go on! Because Mogs asked me.
157
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:20,879
Off you pop! What?
158
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,480
Your hair line already left.
159
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:26,839
Mogs is store manager.
160
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:29,199
It's rare that I don't recognise
a pair of trainers,
161
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,239
but genuinely, what the fuck are
those?
162
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:32,959
Besides a cry for help, obviously.
163
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,999
HE KNOCKS ON DOOR
164
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,399
Management looks mad
stressful, to be fair,
165
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,959
although she's always got time
for us.
166
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,239
Sorry. It's just Clare left me
again.
167
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:43,279
Yeah, no time, Russell.
168
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:45,479
I've been on the phone to head
office since breakfast,
169
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,639
I'm pissing three times an hour
and my fanny...
170
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:48,680
..has got a heartbeat.
171
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,319
Shit, is it meant to?
172
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,919
I want you to watch the phone
for me. OK.
173
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,039
This little dickhead thinks
my bladder's a stress ball.
174
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,959
SHE SIGHS
175
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,280
What, just stay on the phone?
Yes, Russell, stay on the phone.
176
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,160
HE YAWNS
177
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,400
- SHE GROANS
- Look.
178
00:07:14,403 --> 00:07:15,920
She's all over him.
179
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:20,159
Question is, though,
180
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,639
what's Blades got that Russell
hasn't?
181
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:26,919
Obviously, you know, with
the muscles and the tattoos
182
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,919
and the shoes and the beard
and the personality and...
183
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,319
Here it is. Blades is lame, yeah?
184
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,359
Yeah. But he's his own boss,
you know?
185
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,959
He's got his own tattoo shop,
chooses his own hours.
186
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,559
Doesn't have to wear
Sports Depot shit.
187
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:39,959
Maybe his life is better than us.
188
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,319
Well, I dunno, actually,
189
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,559
cos Elon Musk actually
started at JD Sports.
190
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,959
Swear down?! Honestly, yeah.
That's what I'm sayin'!
191
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,799
See? It's the origin stories
like that
192
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,439
that keep me going through
the grind.
193
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,239
That's what's gonna make me get
out of here, cos of that...
194
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,599
Wait.
195
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,079
Wait, you're lying, innit?
196
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:57,759
Why are you always lying?
197
00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:58,879
I dunno, you know?
198
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,280
They're like my little stories,
like free TV in my head.
199
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:12,679
Mogs, look, there's no
sugar-coating this shit sandwich.
200
00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,319
Uh, it's Russell, um...
201
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,879
Mogs will be back in a minute.
202
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,679
Russell, yeah? Be a mate, yeah?
203
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,759
Just tell her I can't sign
off that maternity leave.
204
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:22,800
Um...
205
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,200
Are you sure you definitely
want to go through with this?
206
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,879
I have rights, you know.
207
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,599
Yeah, and in many ways, I'm a
huge supporter of those rights,
208
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,039
and in many other ways,
you're not actually on contract,
209
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,159
so we're not obliged to give you
that extra holiday.
210
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,519
Holiday. It's a fucking baby.
211
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,519
Which is such a blessing, right?
212
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,399
All right. What if I quit right now?
213
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,719
Well, it sounds like you made
up your mind, so just...
214
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,399
I'm gonna have to find a
replacement.
215
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,999
Just put me on whoever's been here
the longest, yeah?
216
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:55,519
Fuck you, Allen, you prepubescent
little prick!
217
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,560
All right, you take care, Mogs.
All the best now.
218
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:09,559
I think Mogs just quit.
219
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:11,400
Yeah, not to worry. Um...
220
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:13,599
Congrats, Russell!
221
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:14,879
Oh.
222
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:15,920
Thanks.
223
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,200
For what?
224
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,719
Being manager, though.
225
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,039
What do you reckon?
226
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:26,639
Am I ready for it?
227
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,039
Come on, cuz, you're 36.
228
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,959
Yeah. If not now, then when?
229
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,919
It's not like you're gonna manage
in the afterlife or something.
230
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,759
Yeah, I know, but...
231
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,279
..I just don't really see myself
as a corporate slug.
232
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:39,039
At the end of the day,
you've both said it,
233
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,999
I'm more of a sort of creative.
234
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,039
Man of the people.
As much as I do think
235
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,039
it would be a proper laugh with
you in charge...
236
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,919
Cheers. ..I do worry that this shop
237
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,119
is robbing us of our most fuckable
years.
238
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,199
And it's like,
239
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,959
will we die here,
240
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,239
all alone, surrounded by shoes?
241
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,759
You know, completely unfuckable?
242
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,360
Well, no, there are worse
places to work than here.
243
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,120
Where?
244
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,079
Claire's Accessories is shit.
245
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,479
It's tiny in there.
246
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,680
And you have to, like,
pierce... children's ears.
247
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,479
Should just come to Australia
with me, Russ.
248
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,159
Great. What, you're leaving as well?
249
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,399
You been chatting about that for
time, you ain't going.
250
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,279
I am. I'm going really soon,
actually.
251
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:25,520
I just think Sports Depot hasn't
been run properly since, like...
252
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,479
..2014. That was a good year.
253
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,439
The old logo. Oh.
254
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,239
Our happiness depends on man like
Russell taking this job.
255
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:35,279
Really?
256
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,959
Russell...
257
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,839
..the bossman.
258
00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:39,919
Manning up.
259
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,479
Manning up!
260
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,080
That's mad, cos Clare said that.
261
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,040
Maybe she was good for me.
262
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:50,719
What is this?
263
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:51,960
It's like sage and onion.
264
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,399
I trust you guys.
265
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,159
All right? No more searches.
266
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,919
I told you, do not trust people,
Russell.
267
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,839
Look, this is going to be sick, OK?
268
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,680
- No more searches, yeah?
- JEMMA SNIFFS
269
00:11:03,683 --> 00:11:06,719
And, like, if you guys have
any problems or any ideas,
270
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,239
you can always come to me.
271
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,879
See me as a momager,
like Kris Jenner.
272
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,879
Question over here. What is it?
273
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,440
You're gonna be shit at this.
274
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,840
Well, that's not even a question.
275
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:23,639
All right, what do you think?
276
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,039
Yeah, it suits you. Yeah?
277
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,119
It's just a bit big around the
titty area... Yeah.
278
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,479
..but it suits you. Yeah. See what
you were saying earlier
279
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,159
about coming to you with ideas
and that?
280
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,639
Yeah? I think I've got one.
281
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:35,759
Oh, nice. Yeah. Go on. There's this
big bossman opportunity going on.
282
00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,759
OK. Dream Travel is closing down.
283
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:41,039
Yeah? All their office stuff
is just sitting there...
284
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,719
..ready to go. Yeah?
285
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,399
Real-life Storage Wars, fam.
286
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,399
Aw, man, I fucking love
Storage Wars.
287
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:51,919
But what I mean by idea is, like,
more Sports Depot-related.
288
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,599
So, like, you know, we do
the big mugs?
289
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:57,239
Yeah. So, like, my idea, for
example, is, like, big bowls.
290
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,640
Like, too big.
291
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,159
That's an incredible idea.
Thank you.
292
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,559
Like, massive bowls, hella cereal.
293
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:05,599
Or salad, or...
294
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,079
Thing is, I need a way to make
money right now.
295
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,120
Yeah.
296
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,959
I just... I don't know.
297
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,079
Bro! Come on, man.
298
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:15,319
What would Kris Jenner do?
299
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,039
Look what she did for Kim.
300
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,399
Leaked the tape...
301
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:19,639
..made the bread.
302
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,159
And now the whole family buss.
303
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:22,239
Yeah, they are.
304
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,919
I need your help, bro.
305
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,879
You need my help?
306
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,199
You should have said.
307
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,080
Let's buss. Yeah. My brother.
308
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:32,519
We'll work on that.
It's...
309
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,599
Three shops closed down this week,
man.
310
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,079
The high street's decaying, bruv.
311
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,439
Yeah, but the thing is, mate,
312
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,079
you can't recreate what we do
online.
313
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,599
That's the beauty of it. Yeah, true.
314
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:41,719
Wait. What?
315
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,439
Oh, look, the vultures
have showed up.
316
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:47,919
Actually, we just came to say
we're really sorry about...
317
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,359
..closing down and stuff.
318
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,200
Right. That's why you've got the
trolley.
319
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,959
Ha, so... You get me?
We was thinking, yeah...
320
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,000
What do you want?
321
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,920
Um, them PC units for a start?
322
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:02,800
Nice.
323
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,679
Also, I dunno if you know
or have heard,
324
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:09,719
but I'm now manager,
if you're looking for any work.
325
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,239
Oh. Sports Depot? Yeah.
326
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,399
Fuck, no.
327
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,799
No. I've lost my job,
not my self-respect.
328
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,239
Sure, no worries.
329
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,639
What do you mean,
"Sure, no worries," bro?!
330
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,879
Rate yourself, fam!
331
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,920
Oh, is... is that kangaroo going
spare?
332
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,040
G'day, mate.
333
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:29,320
PHONE BUZZES
334
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,919
Er, no phones on the shop floor.
335
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,759
No, it's fine, I'm sexting.
336
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,839
How do you spell "basic missionary"?
337
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,559
Give it here.
338
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,600
Key to a good sext is to keep
it a bit mysterious, bit cheeky.
339
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:48,879
Wait. What part of, "I'm wet
as a fucking river," is mysterious?
340
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,359
Don't be a prude.
341
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:51,959
He's not going to talk to me again.
342
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,439
Ugh. Why would you want to talk
to him?
343
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:57,039
Far as I'm concerned, a good man
shows up, delivers the goods
344
00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:58,359
and pisses off without a word.
345
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:02,479
I know, but I think I'd rather feel,
like, a bit more romantic?
346
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,199
That's like a postbox.
347
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,800
- PHONE CHIMES
- Ah.
348
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,439
You've got yourself wrong'un there.
349
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,719
Cherish it.
350
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,719
Great. Thanks, Jemma.
Now he wants to see my tits.
351
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:12,919
That's good.
352
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,119
My tits always look sad.
353
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,880
Like they've had really bad news.
354
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,039
We should just go to Technation,
man, they'll buy anything.
355
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,319
That's a good idea, actually,
356
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,199
I'm friends with Ian, the manager.
Russell!
357
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,479
Russelly Bobs!
358
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:29,359
Hey. Um... word on the high street
is that someone's had a promotion.
359
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,559
That's mad, cos I... I got
a promotion today, didn't I?
360
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,879
Yeah, no, that's what I'm... saying.
Yeah.
361
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,319
So we can afford to take me
to London now.
362
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,599
Gonna tear up the bag floor
at Selfridges.
363
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,839
No, but you... you dumped me this
morning.
364
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,359
Is that what you took
from what I said?
365
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,039
No, you... you just don't listen,
do you?
366
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,199
Anyway, do you know my lovely
flatmate, Sophie?
367
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,199
Yeah.
It's her aunt's funeral tomorrow.
368
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,879
Oh, my God. It's a good thing.
369
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,599
Means I've got the place to myself.
You should come over. All right.
370
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,399
And now I think it's time for us
to take things to the next level...
371
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,719
..sexually?
All right, listen, I'm out!
372
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:02,839
It's too much information.
373
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:03,880
Definitely.
374
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,919
WHISPERS: Don't forget the condoms.
I never do.
375
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,239
I've always got them on me.
376
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,599
Don't bring this. No, I won't.
377
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:10,640
Hate donkeys.
378
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,759
Mulenga!
379
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:14,900
We're gonna have sex!
380
00:15:14,901 --> 00:15:16,039
HE EXCLAIMS
381
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,399
Can't wait.
382
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,800
I've got a bit of a boner now. Mad.
383
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,799
A new leader has arisen!
384
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,239
"Team leader." A king is born.
385
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,159
Russell the manager. Congrats.
386
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,799
Thank you, sir.
387
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,919
Listen, if you ever need to chat,
manager to manager,
388
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,199
come to me.
389
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,359
But can we still talk about normal
stuff, or is it...
390
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,679
Yeah, but it'd
be... manager to manager.
391
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,319
Manager to manager. Got you.
392
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:44,559
So, bossman, yeah?
393
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,440
I'm thinking we're saying grand
apiece?
394
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,559
Sure. I mean, yeah, it is 1992.
395
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,239
I'll stick them next to the hi-fis!
396
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,799
I hate this prick, you know.
Don't embarrass me, man.
397
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,239
This is, you know, Technation,
you're meant to buy anything.
398
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:58,719
Look at this crap.
399
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,959
Yeah, but nothing this old.
400
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,399
There's a fag burn on that one.
401
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:03,960
The lads'll never let me live it
down.
402
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,319
Are we talking manager to manager
here, or what are we talking?
403
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,679
Yeah, I respect you as a manager.
404
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,319
Yeah, well, I respect you as
a manager.
405
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,879
Manager brothers? Please stop this.
406
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,639
I've... been a manager for longer
than you.
407
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,839
Technically, yeah, but really,
408
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,519
I've been on the high street
longer than you.
409
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,159
Retail years.
Ah, listen, let's go, man.
410
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:19,839
You men need to stop all
this chitter-chatter.
411
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,159
All right. I'll see you online
tonight. Yeah, definitely.
412
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,119
I'll be on at nine.
413
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:27,559
Ah, I can't wait to go on my lunch
break so I can, you know,
414
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,279
tell my dad about being manager.
415
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,799
You know when you're manager,
you can, like,
416
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,040
take breaks whenever you want?
417
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:34,959
Oh, yeah.
418
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:39,959
All right. Guys, I'm taking
my lunch at 1.38pm.
419
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,159
Fucking unheard of.
420
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,960
Pockets! Oh, yeah. Sorry.
421
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,959
No more searches, remember?
422
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,760
See you in a bit.
See you later, bro.
423
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,840
Hey, wait, what you man doin'?
Run, Mulenga!
424
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,759
Not many people are lucky enough
425
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,559
to say they've got the shortest
commute in Peterborough
426
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,559
and still get to live with their
dad.
427
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:04,600
I do.
428
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:09,199
Oh. You all right?
My son, the shop manager.
429
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,759
Can't believe it. Yeah.
430
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,159
Yeah? Mad, innit?
431
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,120
Bit of bubbly to celebrate. Ah.
432
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,520
Cheers. Cheers.
433
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,519
Hold on, they're my trainers.
434
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:22,199
I haven't even worn them yet.
435
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,920
Oh, yeah, sorry, son, I just, um...
436
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,079
..I just wanted to look me best
for me job interview, you know?
437
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,439
OK. How did it go?
438
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,039
I didn't go.
439
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,279
All right, well, I need to ask
you something anyway.
440
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,280
Yeah, I-I did not sell your
PlayStation.
441
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,400
I...
442
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,679
I'm taking Clare out for a date
tomorrow. Uh-huh?
443
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,319
And, uh...
444
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:43,919
..I want to make it special,
445
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,439
so I was thinking...
446
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,759
..maybe I could get her
that Adidas Gazelle.
447
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:51,319
Russell, women don't give a shit
about trainers.
448
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,720
- Just...
- HE SIGHS
449
00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,840
Wait there, yeah? Yeah.
450
00:17:58,080 --> 00:17:59,600
Where is my PlayStation?
451
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,439
Here.
452
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:05,680
Take this.
453
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:10,240
It was your mum's.
454
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,239
Are you sure?
Yeah, course I'm sure.
455
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,559
You can see the... chip where
it hit the pebbledash.
456
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,039
No, I mean, are you sure I can
have it?
457
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,479
No, I've no stock to it,
she's probably not coming back.
458
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:22,559
Thanks.
459
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,879
I'm going to need you to take
those trainers off, though.
460
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,359
Oh. Yeah.
461
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,639
Spoken like a true shop manager.
Yeah. See you later.
462
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,719
And put them back in the box as
well, don't... Yeah.
463
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,559
Aw, for f... They're...
464
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:33,600
..brand-new.
465
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,199
Look at this.
466
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,719
You can't be giving her a ring,
Russell.
467
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,279
It's basically a proposal.
468
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,319
No, it's not a proposal.
469
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,439
Unless she wants me to propose,
then I will.
470
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:49,999
But make sure you get a prenup.
471
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,239
Mm. Cos you know what
Kanye West said? Mm.
472
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,719
"We want prenups,
we want prenups, yeah."
473
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,239
Look, I'm not going to propose,
but...
474
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,759
..she said, "man up,"
and that's what men do.
475
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,119
We buy gifts.
476
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:04,879
That is some old Boomer bullshit,
Russell. Man up?
477
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,719
Yeah. No-one says to me I need
to lady up, do they?
478
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,399
I mean, they probably should,
though, cos you've been out here,
479
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,879
lipsin' randoms dressed as a
alien and shit.
480
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,599
Put it in the till, OK? And think
about it
481
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,759
for more than ten minutes.
Yes. All right. All right!
482
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,520
Don't have to do all of life's
milestones in one day.
483
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,959
Mogs has gone, so I can play
a little bit of PlayStation.
484
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,000
Nice.
485
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,760
But you're on break, though, right?
486
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:39,799
Yeah.
487
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,679
So I'll see you on the...
488
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:42,880
..shop floor in a minute?
489
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:54,039
I'm trying to do selfies, but I'm
not getting very sexy vibes in here.
490
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,000
You know there's a used
nappy in the corner?
491
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,120
- JEMMA SIGHS
- Just do the elbow trick.
492
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,639
Give us here, Right.
Get your elbow out.
493
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,119
Mm. OK.
494
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,160
Bend it.
495
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,160
Doesn't really work with hairy arms.
496
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,160
Well. Send it anyway.
497
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:18,999
PHONE BUZZES
498
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,199
SHE GASPS
499
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,559
Batman's got a massive hard cock!
500
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,759
You're kidding. No!
501
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,199
Yay!
502
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,080
That's great, innit?
Get in! 'Ave it!
503
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,200
Come on!
504
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,919
Why have I sent my son to
buy three-for-two boxers
505
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,639
and he comes home with this?
506
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,119
Yeah. Mulenga?
507
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,479
Mulenga? Yo.
508
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,999
I don't think we can sell computers
here,
509
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,039
unless they're Sports Depot
computers.
510
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:50,439
Do you remember when Debbie got
sacked last year for selling stuff?
511
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,800
Yeah, but that was handjobs
in a changing room.
512
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,719
Yeah, I mean, sort of the same,
513
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,399
because they weren't
Sports Depot handjobs.
514
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,119
Can't imagine anything worse
than a Sports Depot handjob.
515
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:02,519
Like, how does that even work?
516
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,199
You just stimulate the base?
517
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,920
My refund. Can we... Yeah.
518
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,119
OK.
519
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:13,120
Hold on. Have you seen my ring?
520
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,319
What have you lost, dickhead?
521
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,160
My mother who abandoned me's ring.
522
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,359
If only there was a tried and tested
method
523
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,519
to stop things getting stolen
in the workplace.
524
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,559
Yeah, but no-one would steal here,
because we're all like a family.
525
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,799
Give people an inch and
they'll take a mile, Russell.
526
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,239
I'm sure you've had plenty of
experience giving an inch.
527
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,959
Yeah, I've got loads of inches,
don't I, Mulenga?
528
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,439
Don't involve me in that, bro.
529
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,279
And it's wide. How wide?
530
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,199
Like, I can't get my whole
hand around it.
531
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,639
It's just as wide as it is long.
532
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:43,480
I'm sorry, is anyone in charge in
here?
533
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,319
Amber?
534
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:52,279
I know you thought it was a bad idea
for me to give Clare that ring. Mm.
535
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,199
You didn't take it, though, did you,
so I wouldn't get back with her?
536
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,719
Oh, it's a bit of a delicate
moment here, Russell.
537
00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,679
A close shave, if you know
what I mean?
538
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:01,959
Just in case things go well
with Batman tonight.
539
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,119
Right, yeah. I actually
shave Clare's legs sometimes,
540
00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:06,399
when she lets me.
541
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,279
The trick is, er, go with the hair
growth.
542
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,239
Not being funny, Russell,
but can you fuck off?
543
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,479
Everything else all right?
You need anything?
544
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,039
Just... if you've got any plasters,
that would be great.
545
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,280
Just for all the blood and the fake
tan everywhere.
546
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,039
HE SIGHS
Why did I let my dad talk me out of
547
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,839
buying Clare those trainers?
548
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:29,999
They'd be so much easier
to find than this fucking ring.
549
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,199
It's my mum's ring, but...
550
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,199
Sweet Russell... Oh.
551
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,319
Let me take all this stress away.
552
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,839
God, your breath,
what have you eaten?
553
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,559
It's tuna.
554
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,439
Let me take control.
555
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,279
It's rightfully mine.
556
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,960
I'd get your ring back like...
557
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,439
Have you got nothing better to do
than to come in here and wind me up?
558
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,399
No. I'm relentless.
559
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,719
I won't stop until I'm inside you.
560
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,279
Oh, that's...
561
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:56,519
..that's weird.
562
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,239
Bring the searches back, Russell.
563
00:22:58,240 --> 00:22:59,319
We need order.
564
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:00,999
I just need the ring back.
565
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,559
I know where it is...
566
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,600
but... I need you to show me how
much you want it.
567
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,359
How?
568
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,760
Do a little dance for me.
569
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,359
No, I'm not...
Ah, you nearly did it!
570
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,999
You make me physically sick.
571
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,240
It's in Amber's bag.
572
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,679
You found what you're
looking for, then?
573
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,919
What? No, I... thought this was
my bag.
574
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,519
I thought you weren't going to
treat us like thieves. No, I'm...
575
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,239
Ugh, I didn't think you'd turn
into a prize dickhead this quick.
576
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,160
You said you were going
to be a pushover, Russ.
577
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:47,999
No, I definitely didn't say that.
578
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,039
I'm going for a smoke.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
579
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,239
Obviously not with you, Russell!
Yeah.
580
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:53,760
Obviously not with me.
581
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,560
I thought I said don't let
anyone in here?
582
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,240
People say a lot of things, Russell.
583
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,600
- What does that even mean?
- PHONE RINGS
584
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,479
Hello, Sports Depot Peterborough,
Russell speaking.
585
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:11,999
Russell? George Allen.
586
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,439
Hey, George. You on
top of everything, there, yeah?
587
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,359
Uh... yeah?
588
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:17,799
Yeah, just got a bit of, um...
589
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,439
It's like a fat tongue thing
going on.
590
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,279
I think it's stress. Welcome to
management. Everything gets bigger.
591
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:23,799
Yeah. Should see the size of
my arse.
592
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,879
Listen, I had some woman
calling me up
593
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,919
telling me that you've been
selling computers to her son.
594
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,359
Ah, no, that's just a big
misunderstanding.
595
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:33,599
Right, good. Glad to hear,
596
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,319
cos we can't have another
handjob situation on our hands.
597
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:37,759
Oh, definitely not.
598
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,919
Just stay on top of things there,
yeah? Will do. OK.
599
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:41,599
And try not to get pregnant, yeah?
600
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:42,839
THEY LAUGH
601
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,320
- Or ill!
- RUSSELL LAUGHS
602
00:24:44,323 --> 00:24:46,199
No, I'm serious about that one. Oh.
603
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,399
Get ill and you're out.
604
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,920
Great chat. Laters!
605
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,759
Amber! Oh!
I didn't know you worked here.
606
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,159
Oh, my God, it's my cousin.
607
00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,439
What, you lot are related?
608
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,119
Yeah. Damn, man, bad genes.
609
00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:03,239
Ha. Hey, listen, you got a phone
charger back there?
610
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,799
I'm meant to be meeting this girl.
611
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,199
Phone's just died.
612
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,279
Who is it? Probably know her.
613
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:09,959
I got no idea. Oh.
614
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,359
I met her at this mad
Halloween rave.
615
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:13,959
She's been sending me...
616
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,000
..weird nudes.
617
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,599
Yo...
618
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,959
..you weren't dressed up as Batman
at this rave,
619
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,599
was you, little cousin?
620
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,000
Yeah. What, y... Were you there?
621
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,079
Hey, Batman,
622
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,760
meet Sexy Alien!
623
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,599
Wha... You'll save money in the
wedding,
624
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,039
cos, you know, your side and
his side...
625
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:39,719
Aw... ..are the same side.
626
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,120
That's hilarious.
627
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,479
Are you not gonna lips? I've got...
HE RETCHES
628
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:46,640
I've got to go.
629
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,360
Hi. There you are.
630
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:54,759
All right?
631
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,839
I'm a cousin-fucker, Russell.
632
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:58,559
I'm a cousin-fucker.
633
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,320
At least he didn't stand you up.
That's... good.
634
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,639
Check this out.
635
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,239
Oh, God. Look at this.
636
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:08,639
What is that?
637
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,279
Keep you going till you get
to go to Oz in real life.
638
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:12,359
Kangaroo.
639
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:13,959
I hate it.
640
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,559
Thanks, though.
641
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,239
I can't stay in Peterborough now.
642
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,439
Could you, um, cover for me tomorrow
so I can get my passport, please?
643
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:22,159
Tomorrow?
644
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,720
I'm seeing Clare tomorrow.
645
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,040
OK.
646
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:31,479
I'll cover for you tomorrow.
647
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:35,119
I'm sorry for going through your
things. It's bang out of order.
648
00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:36,879
We're like family.
649
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,559
Don't talk about family right now,
please.
650
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,159
When Clare told me to man up,
651
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,879
I think she meant, like, be more
manly...
652
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:44,920
Russell!
653
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:47,359
Russell!
654
00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:50,279
..but I think maybe there's lots of
other ways you can man up.
655
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:51,919
Take a look at this lot!
656
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:55,239
Like Mulenga making huge
moves as an entrepreneur.
657
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,239
ยฃ500 for the lot!
658
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,479
Woohoo!
659
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,439
Well, at least they're out
the storeroom.
660
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,439
Or covering for Amber.
661
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,119
I probably won't do that again,
though,
662
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:06,680
cos it's absolutely shat on
my chances of getting laid.
663
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:11,399
Sometimes manning up is trying
not to be jealous,
664
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,119
cos Clare says that's a form of
gaslighting.
665
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:16,080
I'm definitely not jealous.
666
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,399
Sometimes it's taking a tough lesson
from a colleague,
667
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:22,759
because you know, deep down,
668
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,960
that they really respect you and
want you to succeed.
669
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,239
I think I've found my true calling
670
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:30,440
and it's being a manager.
671
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,359
So, you've sorted out your
shoplifting problem?
672
00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:37,039
Oh. The lads?
673
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,199
We are talking about you,
naughty bastard!
674
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,239
I don't want any of my staff
getting physical.
675
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:42,319
Ah!
676
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:43,439
So just confront them...
677
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,799
What's gone wrong in your
life that's brought you here?
678
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:47,239
..but not physically.
679
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:48,799
Ah, my nose! But stop them...
680
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,559
Could be the start of your retail
career.
681
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:52,879
..as a family. Thought you
said your brother was a dealer?
682
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,199
He doesn't let me smoke, cos
obviously I'm only 14, so...
683
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,879
You're 14?!
684
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:57,959
We're fucked.
685
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,920
MUSIC: God's Plan
by Drake
80834
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.