Original subtitles

- * MTV *

- Previously on RuPaul's Global All Stars"--

For this week's Maxi Challenge,

you'll be doing makeovers on your eliminated

"Global All Star" sisters--

[cheers and applause]

--as you transform them into a member

of your "Drag Race" family.

[upbeat music]

Vanity Vain.

- The family resemblance was not there.

- Kitty Scott-Claus.

We've seen that narrative before.

It gets a little tiresome.

Nehellenia.

- I definitely want to go to that party.

- Nehellenia, condragulations.

You're the winner of this week's challenge.

[cheers and applause]

Vanity Vain, Kitty Scott-Claus--

I have never been in the bottom.

I've never had to lip-sync before.

- [screams]

Kitty's got claws.

Shantay, you stay.

Vanity Vain, sashay away.

[laughter]

[suspenseful music]

- What a night, ladies.

Well, Kitty, congratulations baby.

- Yes. - Congrats, Kitty.

- Oh, my God.

- You were fighting for that lip-sync.

- That was fucking horrible.

I've never been below safe, let alone being

in the bloody bottom two.

I was just like, I can't--

I can't be a loser like those other girls.

- [laughs]

- I was literally there like--

I felt myself, like, shutting down.

And I was like, this is-- like, this is how it's gonna go.

I mean, I think before this week I would have said,

I've already won this competition.

I've got it in the bag.

And here we are.

If anything, it's put everything

into perspective for me.

No one's safe.

- Well, here we are, though, in the top five.

- Top five. - And Nellie, congratulations--

- Congratulations, girl. - --your first win.

- Thank you. Finally!

Is so fun, so thank you so much.

- Yay!

- I'm very nervous because the top four is like, here.

I need to do one step.

But if it's a wrong step, I can't make it.

- I do want to say congratulations, Nellie.

- Thank you.

- I know I came at you really harsh in "Untucked" before.

Yeah, I know, but I don't see the family resemblance.

Just being completely honest.

I literally thought you guys were going to be in the bottom.

I know my opinion comes across very harsh sometimes.

It's just how I am.

But, yeah, I apologize.

- I know that you are a good person, so don't worry.

- OK, baby.

I have my feelings about this challenge.

But who am I to take away anything from anyone else?

Nellie just won.

She deserves to celebrate.

Celebrate your win.

- Everybody say love.

[together] Love.

- I want it.

- The winner of "RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars"

will receive a one-year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills

cosmetics and a grand prize of $200,000

with extra-special guest judge Ts Madison.

* RuPaul's Drag Race *

* May the best drag queen win *

[upbeat music]

- It's a new day.

Top five! [all cheering]

- Top five.

- Hey!

- Now, I know y'all didn't see this one coming.

Tessa T up in the top five with Alyssa,

Kween, Kitty, and Nehellenia.

[laughs]

- Oh, my god, look how small this table is.

- Wow.

- Top five.

How do we feel, girls? - Baby.

- It's amazing.

But how you feel?

- I feel good.

And I feel like it's giving me a boost

that I've never had before.

Like, I've never lip-synced before.

I've never-- - Oh, my god, that's right.

- I've never been in the bottom before.

No more bottoming for me.

I'm here to fight. I'm here to win.

I can taste that crown.

- Girl.

- I can already tell you how I've already spent that money.

- Ooh! - That 200k is mine.

- [laughs] Well, look, that's cute.

But I'm going to fucking win because I've been doing very

well this competition, and I'm sick of being

robbed at the stake.

I should have five wins.

I see these other girls looking at me,

and I know that they think I'm a threat.

But I also know that they're not

going to give me my flowers. And you know what?

Fuck them. I don't need flowers.

I like KFC.

[laughs]

But, look.

Congratulations, Nellie, that being said.

- Thank you so much. - Yeah.

Well done, Nellie.

- I have one win, a mini challenge,

three times on the top.

So I'm very con-- how you say?

- Confident.

- Confident.

- Not confident, consistent. - Consistent.

- Consistency wants to what?

- So, baby, yeah.

I'm the filler queen and you can say it.

But maybe this filler queen can win.

OK, I win a challenge, doesn't mean now I go like

Alyssa, like--

This bitch is still underestimating me.

Why?

What about you, Alyssa?

- I am very pleased with where I'm at in this competition.

- Uh-huh.

- And we are here in the top five.

- It's gonna be a fight to the finish.

- Oh, baby. - Ooh!

- Tooth and fucking nail.

- Well, y'all hos better knuckle up.

- Knuckle up. - All right?

- 'Cause it's about to buck.

- 'Cause I got the boxing gloves right over there.

- Did everyone expect to see themselves

sitting here in the top five? - Yes.

- Yes. Yeah.

- Did you, Nellie? - No.

Week after week, I say, OK--

[sirens wailing]

- Thank god.

That was gonna be boring, I could tell.

- Hey, Globetrotters.

- Ooh!

- Take me on a trip and let's go first class.

'Cause you can't spell ambassador

without a whole lot of ass.

[all cheering]

- Oh, my god. - Ass.

- First-class. - Oh, my god.

- First-class. - First-class.

- We're taking a trip.

- I never go into first-class.

Yay!

[bell dings]

- Hello, hello, hello.

[cheers and applause]

- Hello, Mother.

- Yes.

- [laughs] My top five Global All Stars.

Condragulations.

You've all come so far in this competition,

but now it's time for you to all go home.

- [gasps]

- Don't be scared.

Just close your eyes--

- [gasps]

- --click your heels, and repeat after me.

There's no place like home.

[together] There's no place like home.

- There's no place like home.

[together] There's no place like home.

- There's no place like home.

[together] There's no place like home.

- For this week's Maxi Challenge,

I want each of you to create a queer-tastic tourism spot--

- Ooh.

- --that shows the world why your country is so special.

- Yay. - Right.

- Oh, this is gonna be fun.

- #GlobalAllStars.

And for extra fun, I want you to create a picture

perfect postcard in Canva.

- Ooh.

- Later today, you'll shoot your tourism spot with world

traveler Michelle Visage.

- Oh, yay! - Oh, yay!

[cheers and applause]

- Home is where the heart is.

And have the opportunity to be the ambassador

and represent my country--

I will accept that role with great pride.

- And tomorrow, on the runway,

we will be joined by our extra-special guest

judge, Ts Madison.

[cheers and applause]

- Ts knows how to brand herself.

She's a branding genius.

Everything she does goes viral.

- Oh, and on the runway, in honor of the final season

of "Star Trek Discovery," your category

is Queens in Outer Space.

- Whoo. - Ooh.

- Oh, yay. - Oh, my god.

- Full disclosure-- "Star Trek" is a production of our partners

at Paramount Plus.

[laughter]

All Stars, start your engines.

And may the best global glamazon win.

- Yay! - Yes!

- [groans] Kitty, what is this?

- Do you not love?

- I've never done this.

- We did an advertising challenge on my season.

Nobody won the challenge.

- These commercials this week, y'all are playing it safe.

That's not how you become The UK's Next Drag Superstar.

- Last time I did a marketing challenge,

I was working as a team.

And that didn't really go to plan.

So I'm excited to push myself and show Ru why I should

have won in the first place.

I'm excited.

- So what are you going for?

- Well, I'm thinking the UK is very traditional.

- Uh-huh.

- And, like, talking about, like, British food, how like,

it's made fun of across the world.

- Tea and crumpets.

- Tea and crumpets, faggots and mash.

- What you just call me? - You heard me.

- [gasps] - It's a food.

- What? - Faggots.

- Faggots? - Yeah.

- The faggots is not a bad word.

- It's like a British food.

They're disgusting. But--

- Really?

What-- but, like, what is it, though?

- So you say that faggots is disgusting?

Is-- you're homophobic? - I'm stupid.

- You say faggot is disgusting? - I'm stupid.

- Faggots and mash, the food.

- Oh.

- It's like, a big meatball.

Like, I'm just talking about food.

Spotted dick, faggots and mash, toad in the hole.

These girls are looking at me like I'm

speaking another language.

And I'm literally like, honey, this is the Queen's English.

Nellie, did you do an advert in your season?

- No, we didn't have it.

So for me, it's the first time.

In another language it's very hard.

- So what's the idea you're going for?

- We have a lot of stereotypes--

- Which are--

- --from the video games, to the food,

the food from the heart.

We have a lot.

- Mm-hmm.

And so what type of angle are you going for?

- Bitch.

I ain't no travel agent.

I'm a fucking drag queen.

What do I know about tea and crumpets but the Swiss version?

I'm just going for, like, Swiss cheese,

Alps, Matterhorn, all of that.

- I think you're so lucky, as well,

'cause you get to pick between doing Switzerland or Germany.

- Right.

'Cause for the rest of the world,

we're like one in the same country.

[laughter]

- So, girl, how are you feeling?

Oh, my god, top five. - Top five.

This is exciting. - Bitch.

Yes!

Oh, my god, we're doing a tourism commercial.

Thank goodness.

Because everybody knows that I bombed mine on my season.

Book your tickets to Kween Kong island, please.

- I think the issue for me, it wasn't that funny.

- I wanted to laugh at certain things,

but then it went to this sort of dark place.

- So this will be redemption.

I am ready, motherfucker.

I was in the bottom.

I lip-synced for this challenge.

Thinking about it now, there's so many

things that I love about where I come from, about the country.

- Yeah.

- You know, there's lots of things I want to celebrate,

but lots of things that I want to poke fun at.

So I'm really going to make Ru laugh and just be a fuckwit.

That's what we do.

- I think that's the route I'm going, as well.

- Yeah.

- There are a lot of things about America that I love.

And there's a lot of things about America

I'm sure you all just sit back and go--

- The fuck?

- --what the fuck are they doing over there?

- [laughs] Totally.

- Besides, this is the furthest I've gone.

- Mama, oh, my god. - I know.

- How are you feeling about it? - This was the challenge.

I almost won.

Yes, and kick, and layout.

Yes.

Whoo!

- Everyone was laughing when it was airing.

So you got the job done.

- So I'm definitely gonna--

- Go all out.

- --put the pedal to the metal, baby.

I didn't come here just to kiki and catch up with all the gals

from around the world.

I came here to claim my crown.

So if I nail this, it lands, I get a big win,

I sail into the top four.

- Mm.

- Definitely will be a dream come true.

- I know.

Oh, my god.

- Ten years ago this is where my journey ended,

right at the top five.

This is my time.

- The Italian translate.

Oh, my god.

- Canva makes design so simple.

[upbeat music]

* *

- These templates are terrific.

* *

- Oh, I like that one.

Huh.

[upbeat music]

- Is everyone excited for this one?

- Do you know what?

Thinking about home has made me like--

- I know. It made me homesick.

- Not homesick, but it's made me just like,

oh, I bloody love where I come from.

- Yeah, me too.

- How's everyone feeling for the shoot today?

- I think it's--

my concept is very me, very Italian.

It's my kind of humor.

- Good.

- I hope it's work.

I'm very, very proud of my language,

my culture, my country.

It's maybe the biggest thing that I have here.

- I think we've really got to play up to the stereotypes--

- Yeah.

- --for our countries.

So it's like, it is, like, being like, overly Italian

and for me to be, like, overly British,

and Alyssa to be like, overly annoying.

[laughter]

If you had to move anywhere else in the world

and you couldn't live in your own country anymore,

where would you move to? Alyssa?

- I do love Sydney.

- The thing is, is the bloody insects, and the spiders,

and the--

- Oh, my god.

- Everything literally is trying to kill you.

- When you go to other countries

are you like, what a bloody relief?

- [laughs]

- The United Kingdom is so beautiful.

The people is so open mind.

I see a lot of people going in the street dressed like--

like they want.

- Nellie, is it like that in Italy?

Like, what's it like for, like, queer people in Italy?

- Oh, no.

In Italy, you no can do it. - You can't do it?

- Definitely.

We-- we dress everyone in the same way.

If someone tries to be yourself--

if a man go in the street with a skirt,

it's something that everyone watch to him

make joke about him.

- Really? - Yeah.

And when I go in the United Kingdom,

I saw people wear something very strange,

but nobody give a fuck.

- Yeah.

- So you can wear whatever you want.

In Italy, it's not like that.

- London, I don't know--

I don't know if I could live there every day.

Because that one month was--

I was there, it was beautiful.

But towards the end, when it started raining every day--

- It's a lot.

- --I was like, girl, I need to go see my therapist.

- Right.

- Ah, seasonal depression. It's very real.

- Yeah, it's so true.

- It's like the damn Noah's Ark is getting built and shit.

I don't know.

It's like, 50 damn days of rain.

- That's a good summer if it's only 50 days of rain.

- [laughs]

- Can you say art? - Heart.

- Art. - Heart.

- Art. - Art.

- Art! Art!

- Art. - Art.

- Art. - Art.

- Art. - Yes!

- [laughs]

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

* *

- Hello, Kitty. - All right, Michelle.

- It's time to shoot our tourism

commercials with the one and only Mr. Michelle Visage.

- Are you ready to give us some tourism to make people

want to flock to the UK?

- I am so excited for this.

I'm gonna get everyone flocking over here.

Come on.

I'll be on the board of control like, you're not in, you're in.

Come on.

Feel like a bouncer on the door at the club.

My concept is to set it up like Britain--

what we all know, what we all love, cups of tea,

afternoon tea, the rain.

What better way to sell your country than taking

the piss out of it?

- You know what you need to do.

- Yeah. - So do it.

- OK, sweet. - Sound good?

- Yeah. - Here we go.

And action.

- Get lost on the Circle Line for weeks.

- So this time, can you try it with a British accent?

- Yeah. - Just kidding.

- Oh, my god, I was so confused.

- It was a joke, Kitty.

- I was like, what am I doing?

- [laughs]

- Can you?

[laughs] - No.

We know that!

- Go for afternoon tea with the royal family.

They love it!

- Do Brummie people say "ah-fternoon"

and not afternoon?

- Afternoon.

We say a hard A. - You said "ah."

- "Ah?" - Yeah.

You said-- you've gone posh. - Stop it.

Fuck off. No, I haven't.

- [laughs]

- And then this one, I'm gonna have a piss up a foam box.

- Is that a thing? - Yeah.

- How did I not know this?

- Could you not smell it when you walk through, like, Soho?

- I guess not.

- Oh, you're going at the wrong times, Mich.

- OK. All right.

Let's do it.

Action, or take a slash in one of our many public toilets.

[laughs]

- There's a phone in there.

- Shake it more than twice, you're playing with it.

- [chuckles] You filthy bitch.

- Action. Let's see it.

- Faggots and mash!

Toad in my hole.

- What's toad in my hole? - Aw.

- [laughs]

- Buy a girl a drink first.

My shoot is going so well, Michelle is just chatting

to me like we're old gal pals.

We're gasbagging, having a gorgeous time.

- That's a wrap, kitty.

- Yay!

I feel like, after last week's stumble,

I'm definitely back on top, baby, where I belong.

- Alyssa Edwards.

- Is this American enough for ya?

- The only thing that could be more American

is if you were wearing an apple pie.

- [laughs]

- You think you got it covered?

- Do you think I got it covered?

- I always believe in you, Alyssa.

- There we go. Thank you.

- OK.

- I am hoping that I snatch that win,

and that $10,000, and that golden ticket to the top four.

Lord, please be with me, as I act a damn fool again.

Do you want me to, um--

I need to razzle dazzle with this.

- Well, yeah.

I'll tell you if it's too much.

Here we go, and action.

- If you're looking for a show, look no further.

You came to the right place.

Now let's hit it.

- [laughs] OK. Cut.

- New York City, home of the brave to the streets

of the freak.

- The pace was great, Alyssa.

- Did my energy look good?

Did you like how I was standing and all that?

Did I sound funny on "it makes you want a hot dog real bad?"

- No, no, no, no. It was fine.

And action.

- Lights, cameras, action.

- Great. Moving on, baby.

- Should I do that one again or did it sound good?

- No, no, no. I liked it.

- The timing and the pace was good?

- Great. I'll tell you.

- The fear of failure has haunted me my whole life.

But, damn, the pressure is on.

- Alyssa, do yourself a favor and try

not to tilt back too far. - OK.

- Nobody needs to see our fucking chin.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Got it.

- And action.

- * Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo *

* Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo *

- That was perfect, what you just did, 'cause it's very--

- Yankee Doodle Dandy. - Yes!

- OK.

- Here we go, and, action.

- Home of the barbecue, the rodeo, and the Grande

Dame Alyssa Edwards.

That's me.

- [laughs] I like that one.

Cut.

Good, Alyssa.

That's a wrap on you. - OK.

What would be my grade if I was a student?

- I-- well, I thought you were fantastic.

You would get an A from me.

You listened, you took direction, you went for it.

Job well done. - I'll take that.

Thank you. - Ah.

Ciao, Nehellenia.

Tell me all about what you want to do here.

- So I was thinking about start with the most

famous Italian, so--

- Madonna. - Mario.

- Oh.

[laughs]

It's a-me, Mario.

- It's a-me, Mario.

- [laughs]

- OK.

- OK, here we go, and action.

- Hello, it's me.

Oh, no, Mario, I'm Nellie, bitch.

- I love that. That works.

Next one.

- Lasagna, ravioli, carbonara, cannoli,

spaghetti, and so much more.

- I want you to do it again.

Make sure we can understand it. - OK.

- So just slow it down a little bit.

- Lasagna, ravioli, carbonara, cannoli,

spaghetti, and so much more.

- Let me hear you say girlfriend.

- "Girl-fi-end."

- Say girlfriend.

- Girlfriend.

Girlfriend. - That's it.

- Girlfriend.

- Try it again.

- Do you have a "girl-fi-end?" Hmm?

It's good?

- "Girl-fi-end."

I love it.

- Oh, we are so good with heart.

- Can you say art? - Art.

- Not heart. - Art.

- Because heart is this. - OK.

With art? - Art.

- Art.

- Yeah.

- I watch a lot of "Drag Race."

And I know if Michelle say something,

you need to be-- to shut up and say, OK, let's do it.

- And action.

- We are so good with art.

Big heart.

- You said art the first time and then the next two--

- And heart the second one. - Yeah.

- Oh! I can't do it!

- Art.

Just think of the letter R.

- Art. - Art.

- Heart. - Art.

- Art. - Art.

- Art. - Yes.

- OK.

- Like dog barks when they go, art!

Art! - Art.

- Art. - Art.

- Art. - Art.

- Yes! [laughs]

- Art! Art!

- Oh, my god. - Art!

Art! - OK.

- Yes? - Art.

- What does a pirate say?

- Argh. Art.

OK. - Art.

We so go with heart.

[buzzer blares] Oh, no!

- How do you say the letter R?

- R.

- That's it!

- OK.

- Put a T on the end of it.

- We're so good with art.

- Yay!

You did it!

- Thank you.

Finally, I got it. - Next one.

- [speaking Italian]

Mamma mia.

I think I'm a very, very funny Italian person.

In English, it's different.

I'm scared that my jokes are too Italian.

- And that's a wrap on you, Nellie.

- Thank you. - You are welcome.

Tessa Testicle, look at you.

- Look at moo.

- Look at moo!

- Look at moo!

- [laughs]

- I ain't never done no advert challenge.

I ain't never done no travel agents, no nothing.

But I'ma still show up and do the job because I'm what?

Tessa T.

- I am utterly delighted to see you here, Tessa.

- Hi, Moochelle Visage.

- [laughs]

You competed in "Drag Race Germany."

- I did.

- But you are going to represent Switzerland here.

- I am.

- Because that's your home country.

- Yes, ma'am. - OK, I love that.

OK.

So since you're teaching us about Switzerland,

you decided to be a Swiss cow.

- Absolutely, because we're basically known

for all of our dairy products.

- OK, perfect.

Let's start with the first shot.

Action.

- My name is MooPaul, but you can call me Moo.

- I like the voice you're using,

but maybe you can pull back a little bit.

- OK.

- And action.

- Come for the cheese and chocolate.

Stay for the tax evasion.

- Cut. Great.

What was the other line you were talking about?

- Coins? I never lactose.

- I don't get it.

- Should I stick with the original line?

- What's the original?

- Hide your wife, hide your cash.

- I think that's funnier. - OK.

- Hide your wife.

Hide your cash. - Wait.

Your voice can't change like that.

You were just MooPaul. - Yeah, right.

[laughter]

- You went into announcer.

- Everything about this commercial is cringe.

But I'm not a quitter.

And get effed in the Alps.

- That sounds like fun. - Right?

- One more time. - You should try it.

- Here we go, super clear.

- Don't you mean the Moo-ter-horn?

I'm looking at Michelle Visage, and I think

she is slightly "amoosed."

- [laughs]

- Do you like playing hide-and-seek?

- Wait a minute.

- You put the emphasis on the wrong syllable.

Do you--

- Do you-- - Yes.

- Yes. - Here we go.

And-- - All right.

- --action.

- Do you like playing hide-and-seek?

- Good.

That's so much better, more conversational.

Can you twerk in the cow's outfit?

- I can try it. - Pretend twerking.

Pretend, yeah.

Our milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard.

So what are you waiting for?

Come to Switzerland.

Our milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard.

Done, Tessa.

- Listen.

If Switzerland wants to ban me after this commercial,

I don't blame them.

Thank you so much, Michelle.

- You're welcome, sweetheart.

Hello, Kween Kong.

- Hey, girl, you look beautiful.

- As do you. - Oh, thank you.

- Are you ready to do this? - I am.

I haven't douched, so I don't plan on bottoming today.

- Now, your script is pretty thick, my darling.

- Like me.

[laughter]

I'm ready to go full gung-ho, dickhead Kween

Kong, and just roast the shit out of the place

that I love down under. Yeah.

- I'm gonna do the voiceover. - Lovely.

- And you're gonna act it out. - Gorgeous.

- OK, here we go.

Are you looking for the greatest

adventure of your life?

Do you want to pick your nose every time?

- Oh, I don't have to. - Try once without it.

- Yeah, sure.

- Are you looking for the greatest

adventure of your life?

- [gasps] - Great.

I like that better, personally.

- Thank you.

- Here we go, and action.

- Come to Palmerston North in New Zealand,

and ride a fun little sheep with "Drag Race"

winner Spanky Jackson. - Cut.

OK.

Now, we're only on page 5 of 700.

[light upbeat music]

* *

- Right.

* *

- OK.

* *

Oh, yeah.

But yeah, here we go. - OK.

And, action.

- Aw, you are so cute, baby koala.

- I have chlamydia.

Cut.

Do you ever call chlamydia the clap?

- Do you want me to say the clap?

- Want to try it with the clap?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

- Action.

- Now, if you didn't catch the clap from the koalas,

you'll definitely get lucky at Mardi Gras in Sydney.

- Cut.

Love it.

You'll definitely get it, not get lucky.

- Oh, sorry. - Get it.

Action. - Now.

If you didn't catch the clap from the koalas,

you'll definitely get it at Mardi Gras in Sydney--

or as I call it, "Syd-nay!"

Come on, let's be gay!

- That's a wrap.

- Thank you.

- That wasn't too complicated.

- Look, I'm feeling really confident about my commercial.

You know, I had so much fun on set.

Because I literally left that set the last time

and wanted to throw myself in front of a bus.

[laughs] This time, I am the bus.

Beep, beep. Yes!

[laughs]

- Good job, sweetheart.

- Fuck, yeah.

Thank you, everyone.

Come on, Chlamydia, let's go.

- [laughs]

- Would you ever want to have biological children?

- I don't know if the world would be ready.

I think I would be like "Mommy Dearest."

- [laughs] - Oh, my god.

- [laughs]

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

- Ooh, elimination day is going on.

- It's elimination day, and we are going down from top 5

to top 4.

Good luck, girls.

- Nellie, do you have a drag mom or a drag family?

- I have a drag family.

We have a lot of sister.

- Is Pithia a part of your house now?

- No.

Pithia is only my lover. - Oh, yeah.

- She's the father?

- The handsome weird uncle.

- [laughs]

- I wouldn't be anything that I am today

if it wasn't for my drag mothers.

I'd be in jail or, like, or dead, to be honest.

- I think, growing up in the South,

there was always that, you know, like--

- Shame. - Yes.

- Family isn't always blood.

- Oh, period.

- And I remember going to, like, the drag

shows watching, you know, my drag mom and learning so much.

- If someone was like, I'm gonna be your drag daughter,

I'd be like, no.

Your father pulled out. You're not mine.

- [chuckles]

- Like, would you ever want to have

actual, like, biological children?

- I want to have so many kids.

Like, I want to, like, have a big family.

Like, it's such the Pacific Island sort of mother in me

that wants to have babies.

- Yeah.

- I just need a partner that'll stay--

[laughs] that'll stick around, to be honest.

- Alyssa?

- Me and Steve have talked about it.

We've chatted about it. - Aw.

- And he wanted his own family.

I don't know if the world would be ready.

I think I would be like "Mommy Dearest."

- You would. - Period.

- I buy you all these nice things,

and this is what I get in return?

Can you point your feet in your ballet class?

- Straighten your legs. - Oh, my god.

- And Steve is so funny.

He's like, well, what if our child doesn't want to dance?

And I was so confused.

Well, what if you get what your father got?

- Right.

- He wanted an all-American boy, and instead

he made an all-American queen.

[laughter]

- Nellie, would you have a child?

- I wanted to have, but in Italy it's not possible.

- Uh-huh.

- But for me, it's maybe the biggest

thing that I miss in my life.

- Is having children?

- Yeah.

Because the day that my first nephew born, I cry.

- Yeah.

- I cry because I'm thinking that can never happen to me.

For Italian gay people, it's not easy.

- God.

- Sorry, I get emotional. - Yeah, I know.

- Sorry.

- I have a friend whose son, he likes to play with dolls.

He likes to play with makeup.

- Yeah.

- His mother is, like, the greatest because she's such

a big supporter of my drag.

It, like, warms my heart to know that--

- She's raising the baby.

- --that she's raising possibly one of us.

- Oh, baby, yeah.

- And it really makes me emotional, too--

fuck.

[chuckles] I'm just so happy that we are coming around to,

like, letting our little kids be who they want to be.

- Absolutely. - Yeah, baby, period.

[light music]

* *

[RuPaul's Cover Girl"]

* *

- * Cover girl *

* Put the bass in your walk *

- Whoo! - Yes!

- Yes, ma'am!

- Yeah, honey. - Come on, somebody!

- Welcome to the main stage

of "RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars."

She's been undressed by kings, and she's

seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see.

It's Michelle Visage.

- You know, Ru, I've been to paradise.

But interestingly enough, I've never been to me.

- [laughs]

He puts the D in duty-free.

It's Jamal Sims.

- You said doody.

[laughter]

And the gorgeous Ts Madison, welcome home, darling.

- When I think of home, I think of a place

where there's love overflowing.

And Ru, I've been overflowing all night.

[laughter]

- This week, we challenged our queens

to create queer-tastic tourism spots for their home countries.

And tonight, on the runway, category is "Star Trek,"

Queens in Outer Space.

All Stars, start your engines.

And may the best global glamazon win.

- * 'Cause you're a star, baby *

* Star, baby *

- The category is "Star Trek," Queens in Outer Space.

Up first, representing the UK, Kitty Scott-Claus.

- I am beaming down to the global runway,

and I am serving you galactic glamour.

I'm literally wearing glass.

- Oh, she's got the solar system.

Show us Uranus.

- [laughs]

- Big Dipper?

I don't even know the Little Dipper.

- It's her way or the Milky Way.

[laughter]

Up next, representing Down Under, Kween Kong.

- I am serving you pure galactic warrior

princess realness.

This is what the sky goddess would look like if she

was in outer space.

- Ru, night braces have changed so much.

- They really have.

Kong ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

[laughter]

- Well, she clearly has a homosexual male hairdresser.

[laughter]

- Remember Uhura? - Yeah.

- Well, this is her now.

- Damn, Spock.

[laughter]

- Up next, representing Germany?

- Yes.

- Tessa T.

- I am serving you Dianne Brill goes to Studio 54,

the lady in the moon.

- Her stars have definitely aligned.

- I think I can see her space balls.

- I don't know nothing about "Star Trek,"

but I feel drop-the-track gorgeous.

- You know, not only does she wax, but she also wanes.

[laughter]

- Girl, you trying to moon me?

[laughter]

- It's a little bit of "Moulin Rouge,

it's a whole lot of "Ziegfeld Follies."

It's conceptual.

It is high drag.

- To the moon, Alice.

- [laughs]

* *

Up next, representing the United States of America,

Alyssa Edwards.

- Y'all wanted queens from outer space?

Well, I'm delivering a goddess on the mountaintop.

- Set phasers to stunning.

- Nanu-nanu.

[laughter]

- This is Cirque Du Soleil meets

fantasy meets Barbarella, Bob MacKie, Erté,

and Alyssa Edwards.

- C-3PO no, she better don't.

[laughter]

- Mesquite, we have a problem.

[laughter]

- Ooh, a Texas-sized one.

[laughter]

- In space, no one can hear you beast!

[laughter]

Representing Italy, Nehellenia.

- I have very, very big boobs with these big spikes

as nipple.

It's so stupid, I love it.

- Starring in "Judy Jetson, Diary of a Teenage Hooker."

- Now, that's called the big bang theory.

[laughter]

- She bangs.

She bangs.

- What's the mileage like on that thing?

- I think we get the point.

[laughter]

- Ooh, supersonic.

- She's a rocket woman.

* *

* Star baby *

- You were by far the most neurotic 'cause you

were worried about every shot.

- I wanted more of you and less your sisters.

- [laughs]

- [laughs]

- Welcome, global glamazons.

[together] Hello.

- Hey, let's take a trip around the world, starting with

Kitty Scott-Claus promoting the UK.

[classical music]

- UK, hon.

I'm Kitty Scott-Claus, and I'm here to tell you what

makes Great Britain great.

And, no, it's not just my tits.

[horn honks]

Don't miss out on trying our world-renowned cuisine--

faggots and mash, toad in my hole, or spotted dick.

[gasps]

And don't worry if you forget your pound

coins, because we pay for everything with RuPeter badges.

Ooh, Britannia!

Fancy a bevy after work?

Well, Thursdays are the new Fridays.

So are Tuesdays.

Get lost on the Circle Line for weeks.

Where the hell am I?

Oh, god.

Oh, no.

Oh, there's the exit.

Go for afternoon tea with the royal family.

They love it.

Jam or cream first?

You know I always cream first, Charles.

[laughter]

Or take a slash in one of our many public loos.

Do you know there's a phone in there?

[phone ringing]

So head on over to the United Kingdom.

We're waiting for you with open arms, big ears, and bad teeth.

We're all gay for the UK.

- Oh!

[laughter]

- I mean, to be honest, if drag doesn't go to plan,

I could always go into the tourism industry after this.

- All right.

Now it's time for the judges' critiques.

- Kitty, I love directing things like this.

Because you come with your vision,

and I'm there just to help you execute it.

And I feel like, Kitty, you knew exactly what you wanted--

- Mm-hmm.

- --beat by beat.

And I think you executed it perfectly.

- Do they really get drunk like that?

- Yeah. - Will you be my tour guide?

- Absolutely.

I'll hook you up, babes.

- It was just really well done.

It's how I feel like I would have

done it if-- if I were gonna do, you know, a tourism ad.

- And tonight, you look beautiful.

This is a different look for Kitty.

We've never seen this.

The silhouette is gorgeous.

Great job. Great job tonight.

- Thank you so much.

- All right.

Next up, Kween Kong promoting Down Under.

- Get ready, Down Under, I'm about to get canceled.

Ew!

[laughs]

- Let's take a look.

[upbeat music]

- Are you looking for the greatest

adventure of your life?

Well kia ora, g'day, cunts,

and welcome to the land Down Under.

Jump on me kangaroo and let's show you dogs around.

Ooh!

Adventure you asked for--

come to Perth, Australia, and fly

the giant black swan with "Drag Race" superstar Anaconda.

Yes!

Fuck me.

It's huge!

Stand back, Hannah! Pew!

Pew! Pew!

Duck!

[grunting]

This is so much fun!

The fun doesn't stop there.

Come to Palmerston North in New Zealand,

and ride a fun little sheep

with "Drag Race" winner Spanky Jackson.

It's always balmy in Palmy!

Fuck, yeah!

Now, if that wasn't enough, come down to Taronga Zoo

and hold a koala.

Oh, you are so cute, baby koala.

- I have chlamydia.

- Don't worry, darling, so do I.

[laughs]

Now, if you didn't catch the clap from the koalas,

you'll definitely get it at Mardi Gras in Sydney.

Come on, let's be gay.

I'm Kween Kong.

And remember, there's always fundah Down Under.

Whoo!

[laughter]

- Kween Kong, I'm gonna go on record to say this

is the most beautiful you have ever looked.

- Oh, my god.

- It is smashing.

Now let's talk about the tourism video.

I love the line about chlamydia.

[laughter]

That made me laugh out loud.

- Yes. - Kween Kong.

- Hi.

- Believe it or not, I've been down under once.

[laughter]

- Or twice.

- Can you believe that?

[laughter]

But I want to tell you, when I watch your tourist video,

I wanted more of you and less your sisters, honey.

Because you're the Global All Star.

- You had, like, 60 pages of stuff.

It was very inside information.

And I feel like a lot of it was focused on Hannah and Spanky.

- Tonight on the runway, when you came out,

I was like, what in the hell?

The hair going straight up-- honestly, like,

this is a masterpiece.

Yeah, I do think the bottom of the dress gets a little simple.

But, baby, up top is everything.

- Thank you, Mama.

Thank you.

- Up next, Tessa T promoting Switzerland.

Let's take a look.

[upbeat music]

- Welcome to Switzerland, the country

of Swiss cheese, Swiss chocolate,

and the best milking cows the world has to offer.

My name is MooPaul, but you can call me Moo.

Come for the cheese and chocolate.

Stay for the tax evasion.

Hide your wife, hide your cash.

Take the gondola and enjoy the best view on the Matterhorn.

Don't you mean the Moo-ter-horn?

And get effed in the Alps.

Do it in the dairy air.

Do you like playing hide-and-seek?

Utterly.

Well, so do we.

We specialize in hiding your money in weird places.

So what are you waiting for?

Come to Switzerland.

Our milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard.

- So let's all dairy.

[chuckles]

* *

- Oh, my gosh.

[laughter]

- Whoo!

- Look how beautiful you look.

My goodness, Tessa.

But why didn't you do Germany?

- 'Cause I don't know nothing about Germany, girl.

[laughter]

- Yeah, that would have been funny,

pointing at the map of Germany and going,

oh, I think this is Hamburg right here.

- The one thing I wished you hadn't done

was come out in the cow suit because you'd already wore it.

You didn't give us any range because you

were dressed as a cow.

So you're kind of stuck doing that.

- I really enjoyed all the moo-isms.

But, at the end, I think it did start to get one note.

And it wasn't-- it wasn't awful.

I thought-- I thought it was good.

- Your runway look, bitch, this is giving

me moon healing activation.

[laughter]

And when I seen you come out with this, it just,

it blew me away.

- Thank you, Tessa.

- Thank you so much.

I love my commercial, bitch.

I don't care what anyone says, that shit was funny.

- I just feel like a failure, to be honest.

- No. You're gorgeous.

- I feel like I failed.

- You do not feel like a failure.

- I'm disappointed.

- [laughs]

- [laughs]

- All right.

Representing America, Alyssa Edwards.

- And if anybody can sell this, it is

the all-American queen Alyssa Edwards herself,

and that's a fact.

- Now, let's take a look at your tourism ad.

[upbeat jazzy music]

* *

- Welcome to the United States of America.

My name is Alyssa Edwards, and I'll

be your personal tour guide around my country

in 60 seconds.

Now, let's hit it.

New York City, home of the brave to the streets

of the freak.

Let your flag fly high, and keep

your eyes wide for the biggest wigs in the biz.

'Cause if there's one thing us a Americans love,

it's ourselves.

Oh, and of course, the red, white, and the blue.

Makes me want a hot dog real bad.

[laughter]

Home is where the heart is, deep in the heart of Texas,

home of the barbecue, the rodeo,

and the grande dame Alyssa Edwards.

That's me.

[laughter]

Every four years, the circus comes to town.

Welcome to the Greatest Show on Earth--

shit show that is, politics.

Everybody say love.

We, the people of America, from sea to shining sea,

stand loud and proud to keep our country

as the land of the free and the home of the gay.

Now, y'all come back now, you hear?

* *

[laughter]

- Aw, Alyssa Edwards.

Bitch, you did not come to play, did you?

- Not at all.

- Uh-uh.

- Alyssa, you were by far the most neurotic

when it came to this 'cause you were worried about every shot.

And I was saying to you, trust me,

I am not here to make you look bad.

And you saw you did not look bad.

Not only did you not look bad, you were hysterical.

I mean, I just think you did everything right.

So if there was ever any doubt, no need.

- This beautiful piece that you have on right now,

it's gorgeous.

And your makeup is beautiful.

This was a home run.

Great job tonight.

- Alyssa, can you and I have a conversation real quick,

just between me and you real fast?

- Come on, girl.

- [clicks tongue]

[cheers and applause]

[tongues clicking]

- So you understood all that, right?

- I got all of it, girl.

- It was pure Alyssa.

You know what the brand is, and you know how to do it,

and you know how to do it on cue, which is what our hope

for you has always been.

You're there, hon.

You made it.

Thank you, Alyssa.

- Thank you.

- Up next, Nehellenia promoting Italy.

Let's take a look.

[upbeat music]

- Hello, it's me.

Oh, no, Mario, it's Nellie, bitch.

Let me show you my beautiful country.

La mia Italia. Let's go!

Mamma Mia!

Hey, we're not so into pizza.

This is a stupid stereotype.

Pineapple?

Oh, don't you dare!

We're into so many things like lasagna,

ravioli, carbonara, cannoli, spaghetti, and so much more.

Your grandma, we always ask, do you have a girlfriend?

Nona, I am the girlfriend.

We're definitely the gayest place in the world.

I mean, we live in a drag queen's boot.

We're so good with art, big art,

and sometime not so big.

You can think that we are obsessed with sex,

and it's true!

[speaking Italian]

So come to la mia Italia.

Mamma mia!

[upbeat music]

* *

[laughter]

- Nehellenia, where Alyssa was neurotic and wanted

everything to be, "Is it good? Is it good?"

you were more apologetic.

And there was no need.

We can't tell you enough how naturally funny you are.

You went for it, and you did it.

Don't doubt yourself. - Thank you so much.

- I love this look. It's fun.

It's very Judy Jetson.

And I love the color palette.

And I love this big bang.

It's bold and it's giving me everything I need.

So great night tonight.

Nehellenia, I watched you eat that pizza, and I said,

I know what I'm having for lunch today.

[laughter]

- You have an innate charm that is irresistible.

Tell me, did you have fun doing it?

- In the start, yes.

Then I become more frustrated with myself

because I thinking, oh, my god, maybe it's not fun.

- Yeah.

- So I need to be more confident maybe.

- Yeah, absolutely.

Anything else you want to add? - Love you.

Don't send me home.

[laughter]

- Thank you, Nehellenia.

- Thank you, too.

I was very, very scared about my performance.

But it's good.

The judges are right.

I need to be more confident.

- Thank you, All Stars.

I think we've heard enough.

You may leave the stage.

[dramatic music]

* *

[upbeat music]

- Oh, girl.

Oh, so elegant.

- So, guys, how are you feeling?

- Oh, look, I am a little bit disappointed,

to be completely honest.

I totally understand what the judges were saying,

but I've been playing so hard. You know what I mean?

- Yeah.

- This was a challenge that I really wanted to get--

- Mm-hmm.

- --because I was in the bottom of my season.

I just feel like a failure, to be honest.

[together] No. - Yeah, I feel like I failed.

- You're gorgeous.

You should not feel like a failure.

- I'm disappointed. - And Tessa?

- I feel great.

It was new for me.

I've never done a branding challenge.

Sitting here with these queens makes

me realize that I did "Drag Race Germany" for months

before doing "Global All Stars."

So as far as I've come in this competition is

an absolute blessing for me.

I'm just really proud of how far I've come.

I'm proud of anything that's going to happen here and--

I'm just really happy to have met you guys

and to have made it this far.

- Tessa, you've done so fucking well, babe.

- We're so proud of you, baby.

- And, like, don't write yourself off.

- We're so proud of you.

- Don't write yourself off.

You've done so well this whole competition.

- Thank you.

It's happy tears, I promise.

- You are 20 million times the queen that you were--

- Yeah. - --back on your season.

- That's what I admire--

- Thank you. --so much about you, Tessa.

- Me too, yeah.

- --is that you're so unafraid and you're so sure of yourself.

And I think that's such an admirable quality

for someone so, like, young.

You're incredible.

- And your attitude is the best, bitch.

Like, literally, you're like, my favorite

25-year-old on the planet.

- [laughs]

This was the first time ever in my life that I was like--

so proud of what I had accomplished.

I've never felt so proud before.

So what about you, Ms. Alyssa?

[laughter]

- Alyssa, you stormed. - You stormed.

- You stormed.

- Thank you.

This has been-- oh, my gosh, what--

12 years in the making.

You know?

I wanted to prove to Ru and Michelle

that I can take direction, take notes, and apply them.

It was magical.

But whoever wins and whoever's in the bottom,

this is a fabulous five.

- Yeah.

We're a fab five.

- Ladies, at this point, it's an all-out brawl.

- Mm-hmm.

- We all want this so bad. - Baby.

- I mean, I could look and see the fire in all y'all's eyes.

And that motivates me.

That drives me. - Yeah.

- 'Cause I'm like, I need to go refuel this tank, bitch,

'cause I came here to win.

- Period.

- But, Nellie, I know you were so worried.

- I'm always, like, the shy guy that don't believe in myself.

When I was in high school, when I was in the club,

I'm always like, not good enough.

In this competition, I started to believe more in myself.

- You need to. - Baby, you need to.

- Sweetheart, look at you.

You're at top five of "Global All Stars."

You need to believe in yourself.

- And I think me and you can be so proud of us, because we are

like the little child that make the competition

with these big names.

- In my season, I bottomed twice.

And, you know, I had to remind Ru why she has

me here in the first place. I can't go anywhere.

I need to do the-- I need to be here.

I work my fucking padded ass off.

- Mm-hmm.

- Like, tonight's gonna be all out.

I'm gonna give everything.

- May the best woman win.

- May the best drag queen win.

- May the best cross-dresser win.

- No, Gala is gone.

[laughter]

- See, that's why I voted her Shadiest Queen.

- [laughs]

- You are moving on to the grand finale

of "Global All Stars."

[tense percussive music]

* *

- [laughs]

- [laughs]

- Welcome back, global glamazons.

- Hello. - G'day.

- Hi.

- I've made some decisions.

[suspenseful music]

* *

Alyssa Edwards, this week you red, white,

and blew us away.

Condragulations.

- [gasps]

- You are the winner of this week's challenge.

[cheers and applause]

You've won a cash tip of $10,000, courtesy of Canva.

- Thank you, Canva.

- And best of all, you're moving on to the grand finale

of "Global All Stars."

- [screams]

Oh, my gosh!

The $200,000 is a lovely paycheck.

Now, I could do a lot with that.

But to have RuPaul crown me and me be

a part of a legacy that will be documented

and will live on in drag herstory--

the Hall of Fame is what I'm after.

- You may step to the back of the stage.

- Yes, girl. - Well done.

- Good luck, girls. - Good luck.

- Congratulations, baby.

[suspenseful music]

* *

Kitty Scott-Claus, Nehellenia,

you are both safe,

which means you, too, are moving on to the grand finale

of "Global All Stars."

- Oh, yay! - Yes!

- I can't move my arms. - Thank you so much!

- Yay!

- You may step to the back of the stage.

- Thank you so much.

- Thank you.

[squeals]

- Kween Kong, Tessa T, I'm sorry my dears,

but you are up for elimination.

Two Global All Stars stand before me.

- Kween Kong is a fierce dancer.

Putting me up against Kween Kong

is only gonna make me try harder.

It's only gonna make me go for it even more.

- Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me and save

yourself from elimination!

* *

- The feeling in this room is so thick, full of tension.

The only thing standing in my way to getting to the final

is Miss Tessa.

To leave this competition right now,

like, after being the front-runner

for most of the season, it would be devastating.

- The time has come for you to lip-sync

for your life.

[dramatic music]

- I'm gonna do whatever it takes to win this lip-sync

and get to the final.

There will be blood on the fucking dance floor.

- Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

[Thelma Houston's "Don't Leave Me This Way"]

- * Don't leave me this way *

* I can't survive *

* I can't stay alive *

* Without your love *

* Oh, baby, don't leave me this way *

* No, I can't exist *

* I'll surely miss *

* Your tender kiss *

* Don't leave me this way *

* Aw, baby *

* My heart is full of love and desire for you *

* Now, come on down and do what you got to do *

* You started this fire down in my soul *

* Now, can't you see it's burning out of control *

* Come on, satisfy the need in me *

* 'Cause only your good loving can set me free *

- * Set me free, set me free *

- * Don't you leave me this way, no *

* Don't you understand *

* I'm at your command *

* Oh, baby, please *

* Please don't leave me this way *

- There she goes!

- * Aw, baby *

* My heart is full of love and desire for you *

* So come on down and do what you gotta do *

* You started this fire down in my soul *

* Now can't you see it's burning out of control *

* So come on, satisfy the need in me *

* Only your good loving can set me free *

* Set me free *

- Come on. Come on.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Oh, Shit!

- I mean, is blocking someone the way to win a lip-sync?

* *

[all cheering]

- * Come and satisfy the need in me *

* Oh, baby *

* Come and satisfy the need in me *

* Ooh, baby *

* Don't leave me this way *

* Don't leave me this way *

* No, don't leave me this way *

* No, don't leave me this way, babe *

* Don't leave me *

* Don't leave me this way, babe *

[cheers, laughter]

- Whoo!

- Oh, my god. - Damn.

- Wow. - Good job, ladies.

- All Stars, I've made my decision.

[suspenseful music]

* *

Kween Kong, shantay, you stay.

- Yay.

[applause]

- Thank you.

- Condragulations.

You are moving forward to the grand finale

of "Global All Stars."

- Fuck, yeah!

[laughter]

You may join the other girls.

- No shade, Tessa.

But, baby, I wasn't going anywhere.

- Tessa T, my top five queen,

you are and will always

be an international icon.

Now, sashay away.

- Thank you, Ru, for everything, for this chance,

for the opportunity to reintroduce

myself to the world, for this amazing experience.

Thank you. - Love you, Tessa!

- Good job, baby. - Tessa, I love you.

- So proud of you. - So proud of you, baby.

- Well done, baby. She's gonna storm.

- Wah! Ahh!

[laughter]

- Get your ass up, girl.

[laughter]

What the fuck?

- Condragulations to our final four Global All Stars.

And remember, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell

are you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen in here?

[together] Amen.

- All right, now let the music play.

[RuPaul's "I'm a winner, Baby"]

- * Nobody wins when you're *

* Oh, oh, nobody, nobody *

* Playing with the game of love *

* I'm a winner *

- [laughs]

- Next time on "RuPaul's Global All Stars,"

it's all about our returning queens--

eight returning All Stars, seven lip-syncs for your life.

The last queen standing will win a cash prize of $50,000.

Let the lip-sync la-la-pa-Ru-za

smack down begin!

- Wow. - Oh, my god.

- * Can you feel the love? *

* *